Out of the Ashes
by TheFadedLight
Summary: This is a story of how it took Jake breaking my heart for me to find a happy ever after.
1. And It Starts

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

This has been edited a little bit. Nothing major – just a little tweaking.

**[Chapter 1: And It Starts]**

"Oh my God!" I cried out. "Oh my God!" A million thoughts ran through my head as I stared, dumbfounded, at the frozen images displayed on the screen. The laptop almost slipped out of my hands off of the bed. It was very late in the evening when my screams pierced the silence. I didn't know what to do. Though my roommate/best friend/partner in crime was out on a date, I immediately called her as I walked out of my room to the living room. She answered on the second ring.

"You need to come home. You need to come home now," I told her in a deadly calm voice.

"Ten minutes," she hurriedly replied.

After we both hung up, I glanced around the living room – beautifully decorated in burgundy and beige hues which complemented the 'L' shaped sofa, the rectangular wooden coffee table and adjoining dining room. The smiling faces of Alice, Jasper, Jake and I taunted me from where they hung in their frames.

I walked up and ripped them off of the walls. Frames and glass shattered in every direction as they crashed into the hardwood floor. My shocked state transformed into destructive behavior as I made my way around the living room – no picture was safe. Among the carnage of broken frames and crumpled photos, I sat on the sofa and began to hyperventilate. My thoughts were jumbled and unfocused. I barely registered Alice's presence until I heard her.

"What's wrong? What's going on?" she cried. She carefully made her way and kneeled in front of me. Her round wide blue-gray eyes were filled with concern. I just stared blankly at her.

"Um, go look at my computer," I said quietly. She got up and headed straight to my bedroom. There was a brief moment of silence and I waited for it. Alice gasped loudly. There it was.

"Bella, what the fuck is this?" She called out. I slowly walked back to my room.

I knew exactly what images greeted her. Everything I found tonight seemed to be etched into my memory. Pictures of my fiancé in the arms of another woman were posted for the world to see on a stupid, online networking site. What really got me was the date range of this woman's photos – the oldest from three years ago.

"I don't know." I stood in the doorway and my heart raced with nervousness. "Look at the date of this one." I pointed to a prominent belly photo. Her face was cropped out, but her hands lovingly held her swollen bump.

"Holy shit," Alice whispered. "It's from a month ago."

"Exactly," I answered just as quietly.

I wanted to erase the entire evening. Snippets of _her _profile continued to assault my brain – her obnoxious status, the photo albums, and the worst news a girlfriend never wants to discover – her cheating boyfriend impregnating another woman. Not only was Jake supposedly fooling around, he may have gotten this woman pregnant.

I felt suffocated and the words wouldn't come out – the whys and whats. Alice got up and just stood there in a hug. I suddenly remembered the broken frames, the shattered glass and the mess in the hallway and living room. I pulled myself out of Alice's comforting arms and went to the kitchen to retrieve the broom.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Alice asked quietly. She followed me like a lost puppy. "We'll clean this up later. Come sit with me for a second."

"No, I got it," I answered her quickly as I meticulously cleaned up the mess. Once finished, I got a box out of the hall closet and went back into my bedroom. I glanced at the decorated walls, painted in creams and browns, and almost every inch of them were covered in something Jake-Bella related. I sighed and packed up my love letters, gifts, the torn pictures, cards and anything associated with the last five years of my life with Jake Black. As I emptied out the closets, dressers and cleared out my bookshelf, my room became a mess. Alice helped me divide my stuff and Jake's.

As I reached out to grab another item, a sparkle caught my eye. I stared down at my left hand. The light had reflected off the beautiful engagement ring that I had worn for over three years. I ran my fingers around it, twisting it, like I always did when I was nervous and slowly slipped it off my ring finger. It was the last item I placed in the box. I glanced around my room which now felt cold and unfamiliar. I didn't even want to go near my very comfortable queen sized bed. I loved that bed and tonight it offered no comfort.

As three a.m. rolled around, I ran out of things to distract me. My best friend never complained and kept herself by my side. Eventually fatigue reared its ugly head and we decided to set up an impromptu sleepover on our living room sofa. As we brought out our pillows and blankets, I wished it was under better circumstances. Normally, we would be up this late laughing, gossiping, and just happily entertaining ourselves. Tonight, however, there was little talking. I had nothing else to say and Alice could not say anything that would ease my heart, but her close proximity to me was comfort enough. Alice's breathing eventually evened out to soft snores and left me pleading for sleep in the darkness. The late night TV ads continued – knives, cleaning products, blenders and grills – until the very faint light from dawn illuminated the room through the front windows.

Something startled me awake and when I glanced at the time, I had slept for two hours. Groaning to myself, I lethargically walked back to my room to the en suite bathroom and flipped on the light. Blinded by the sudden brightness, I squinted in disgust as I caught my reflection in the mirror. I was unusually pale with faint shadows underneath my bloodshot eyes and my long, layered, dark brown hair resembled a bird's nest. After washing my face, I brushed through the tangled mess and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I grabbed the nearest pair of jeans, t-shirt, hoodie and flip flops. I knew my life was shot to shit when I didn't bother with any makeup.

Alice was still asleep as I rushed out the door and headed for the university. Though it was fall, the sun shone bright in the chilly morning – typical, beautiful Southern California weather. I glanced up at the cloudless sky and silently prayed for rain or clouds or something gloomy. For the first time in my life, I wished Los Angeles was just as rainy as back home, in Forks, Washington.

It was Friday, so thankfully the early morning traffic was light. Though on a map, the university was close to our apartment, the normal commute time made it the opposite, but I still took my time driving there. It was the start of my last year in college and I carried a full load of classes. I already had deadlines for major assignments from my history classes. In addition to my school life, I worked a part time at the local Western heritage museum.

My thoughts ran rampant and I drove on auto-pilot on the freeway and side streets. I didn't even realize I had parked until I switched off the engine to my beautifully restored vintage truck. I slammed the door with a bang as one particular thought hit me – what the hell just happened?

I was a zombie through my morning classes. My participation and note taking was a joke. Luckily, the professor didn't call on me to debate or answer a question. By the time my second class was complete, I had tuned the world out completely. I had a pretty long break before my afternoon classes, so I made my way over to the center of school, where most of the students hung out. There was the college bookstore, quick food places, benches and a huge patch of grass in the middle. Thankfully, the spot of grass I picked was dry, so I was able to lie on my back.

I had so many questions and they had begun to pile up. Only a couple of days had passed when I last spoke to Jake.

"_Honeeey," I said happily when my cell rang._

"_Hey Babe, what's going on?" He asked. _

"_Not much. When are you coming to visit? You haven't been down to L.A. in almost a year." I was hoping we could take a vacation. I missed him so much._

"_I'm not sure. It's really busy here at the Rez, Babe," he replied. "I've been working a ton of overtime at the shop. There's this project I'm working on…"_

_I tuned him out after that. We used to make time to visit each other every couple of months or so, until this last year. He was always so busy working. Even his calls had lessened but I patiently understood his stress. We had so many discussions during senior year about our futures. When I got the partial scholarship to attend school in Los Angeles, Jake encouraged and supported my education goals. It helped that Alice and Jasper had similar plans to move as well. At least I wouldn't be alone. Since he was fifteen, Jake had worked part time at the local body shop and had gotten into a local program would certify him. Despite the distance, we made it work. Now, it made me wonder what happened to our relationship?_

"…_so I was thinking maybe you could come home in early November," he interrupted my conflicting thoughts._

"_What? I don't know Jake, um, I have midterms right before Thanksgiving. I don't think I can get up there before that."_

"_Okay, that's fine. I might not be around for Thanksgiving this time, though," he continued. "My dad wants to break tradition this year and take a trip. We're going north to Canada, so I don't know how great the phone reception's going to be there."_

_Since we'd started dating, our holidays were spent together. His dad, Billy, rarely took vacations with his son. Since my mom kept me during Thanksgiving, my dad usually spent it with the Blacks or vice versa. Billy and my dad had long standing friendship from the time they were thirteen. I didn't understand where this 'vacation' idea stemmed from, but I didn't want to argue. I closed my eyes and hurriedly said, 'yeah okay, whatever.' _

"_I love you," Jake said suddenly. "I gotta run. I'll call you later."_

"_Love you, too. Bye."_

"Fuck," I said almost to myself and interrupted the memory. Why was this happening to me?

Without a second thought, I sat up and fished my cell phone out of my bag. I hit Jake's name in my contacts and waited. It rang four times before the voicemail kicked in and I hung up before the greeting finished. The questions threatened to spill out – what do I do? Is this real? Are we over? I desperately needed to talk to him and make some sense out of this whole thing. I sighed and moved back to my original position on my back. My mind drifted to a memory from six years ago, when I first moved to Forks and me _him_.

_On my first day at Forks High School, junior year, I met Alice. Even though the bell had rung, the teacher hadn't arrived yet. __I happened to glance towards the back door and saw a little round shaped face peek through the window. No one moved to open it, so I did and let her in. She gave me that grateful look, which I took as this wasn't the first time she was late. _

"_I'm Alice Brandon and you're new," she stated. Alice was petite. She was a little over five feet, four inches shorter than I. Her hair then was still just as dark but shorter and sort of stuck out all over the place. It wasn't messy, but very chic for a small town girl. Alice's passion for fashion and design was evident with her beautiful outfits and creativity._

_I just nodded my head, "Bella Swan."_

"_Cool. Come sit with me, Bella." That was it and we'd been best friends ever since. We learned almost everything about each other that week – her family, which included her big brother, Emmett, lived in Forks. They were from the area and she had a cousin who was her brother's age. I also shared the circumstances that prompted my return to Forks for the remainder of my high school career. My 'free-spirited' mother decided that we should move to Los Angeles. I just didn't want to start my life over again. At least going to Forks, felt like home, so it was an easy decision to live with my dad. _

_I'd been home less than three weeks when Jasper Whitlock threw his annual St. Patrick's Day party. According to Alice, this was THE party of the year and everybody was going to be there. Alice and Jasper had been best friends since they were twelve years old. His father relocated the family from Texas. Even years later, Jasper retained his soft, southern accent. Alice once told me that his accent was part of the reason she fell for him –the softness of his voice and the barely there drawl. The summer before ninth grade, Alice and Jasper made the leap from best friends to boyfriend/girlfriend._

_I clearly remember the night of the party. Alice practically dragged me there. Since l still didn't know that many people, I had no desire to go. I also got the feeling that this was an occasion for her to exhibit the new kid. I fought so hard against Alice when she insisted on helping me dress for it. She of course was going to be dressed to the hilt, in a peacock green cocktail dress that stopped at the right spot on her thigh. I opted for a less conspicuous outfit, jeans and a patterned strapless flowy baby doll top that I borrowed from her. I made sure to bring a light sweater, since it was still chilly and could very well rain. I did let her style my long hair and do my makeup. I was so nervous that I didn't mind sitting still for something that made her happy._

_When we finally showed up at Jasper's huge house, it was almost nine o'clock – fashionably late, of course. The music was loud and laughter filled the air. There were pockets of people standing or sitting all over the place. Alice got us some drinks and excitedly bounced over to him. I was left to fend for myself, which was completely awkward since I still didn't know everyone. I sat on the couch by the door with the drink in my hand and people watched. _

_I was so lost in my thoughts that I was taken by surprise when HE walked in the door. This boy had to be six feet, bronze colored skin, long dark hair pulled into a pony tail and slightly muscular. He was dressed in jeans and a button down shirt. As he walked in with an air of confidence and his eyes lit up in recognition as they met mine. He made a beeline straight towards me and I almost dropped my cup in surprise. He looked vaguely familiar._

"_Bella!" He greeted me with such familiarity. His voice was deep and had a very slight rasp to it. _

_I just looked up at him with a half smile and said, "Hi."_

"_You don't remember me, do you?" He asked, as he sat next to me. I shook my head, slightly embarrassed. Should I know him? "It's me, Jake Black. I'm Billy's son. When you would visit your dad, he would bring you over to our house," he smiled brightly. It really was a great smile. "It was years ago, though."_

"_Oh my God, Jake. I'm so sorry. I didn't recognize you." Stupid, stupid, stupid. For the rest of the night, he didn't leave my side. He didn't even talk to anyone else. I had no idea how he got invited. I saw Alice once when she winked at me with a smile. Jake ended up dropping me off after the party and we exchanged numbers. He gave me a hug and I felt this weird connection of never wanting him to let go. I'd never experienced that before. I inhaled his scent, a cross between Eternity cologne and something else – man-ness, I guess._

_That night, I went to sleep, not only completely at ease, but with a sense of excitement for the future. The feeling stayed with me when I awoke the next morning.__I was just happy – happy to finally feel at home, that I made new friends and re-met an old one. I was hopeful for once about my move back to Washington. My cell suddenly vibrated, which startled me, and I almost fell out of bed._

"_Hello?" I said in my hoarse and scratchy morning-sleep voice, not bothering to look at the caller ID._

"_Morning, Bella," a man's voice replied. It took me a second to realize who was calling me and I immediately perked up. "What are you doing today? Do you want to grab lunch in a bit?"_

"_Jake! Hi! Yes!" I stuttered. He laughed and I could almost hear him smiling. _

_We had lunch and hung out the rest of the day. My dad, Charlie, was pleasantly surprised that his daughter was hanging out with his best friend's son. From that day on, we were inseparable. It seemed almost magical. A week after the party, Jake and I went on an official date. It was late when he dropped me off at home and he walked me to the door. After giving him a quick hug, I was about to turn and leave, when he grabbed my hand to stop me. _

"_Bella?" he asked. I turned and looked up at him. He pulled me closer and bent his head towards mine. Our faces were inches from each other. He found a strand of my long hair and twirled it. I shivered. I just stared into his dark eyes and he searched mine, as well. He leaned in. Our lips met. And slowly, he found my bottom lip. I sighed. This kiss took my breath away. His hands stayed in my hair and continued twisting it. I cupped his face and finally pulled away. _

"_That was amazing," I said barely above a whisper. I wanted more, but knew not to push. He nodded in agreement. This was the best first kiss I had ever experienced in my life._

"_You are beautiful in the moonlight," his husky voice murmured. I was left speechless. _

The sobs that I had tried so hard to contain escaped when the images of that woman and Jake together flooded my mind and ruined this cherished memory. In an instant my sadness turned to anger. I ended up missing my afternoon classes and stayed out on the lawn. I even tried Jake's cell again. I didn't bother to leave a voicemail.

I pulled my laptop out from my backpack and started to snoop, thanks to the free Wi-Fi our school provided. I logged back in under Jake's profile and typed in his username, '**k'wati**'. I briefly wondered what that translated to in English. He'd had very little activity on his page. I eventually found her page again and just studied everything that was posted.

My mind screamed, 'WHAT?', when I re-read her stats – engaged, one child, thirty-five years old and her name was Leah. I clicked back to the picture page and studied her profile pictures. Her almost wavy black hair hung loose past her shoulders with blunt cut 'mom-bangs' straight across her forehead. Her nose was narrow and she had round brown, almost black eyes. She looked a lot older than my twenty-two years. Judging by her picture and the date, she also seemed to be about five months pregnant. I couldn't believe I was playing detective.

She also posted a countdown to the wedding. It was supposed to take place in six months. I thought further and my heart fluttered. I minimized that tab and typed in the address to a popular wedding site that I knew about, hoping or not hoping to find something Jake-related. I typed in his name and their actual wedding website appeared on the screen. A password prompt window immediately opened.

I had to take a breath; I hadn't realized I was holding it. "What the hell?" I said, mostly to myself.

"Bella!" I heard my name called. I turned my head and saw Alice running towards me.

"Bella, why didn't you wake me up? You just left this morning. What's going on? Jasper called me when he noticed that you've been in the same spot for hours." She had the most panicked look on her face, but it soon morphed into a more questioning expression. "What are you looking at?" Even in her pretty outfit of black leggings paired, a long pale gray tunic shirt cinched at the waist by a wide black belt and ballet flats, she plopped down next to me on the grass. Her hair was perfectly bobbed with a headband.

"Have I been out here that long?" I glanced at the clock on the computer and four hours had passed since my last class. "I found this," I continued. "It's the wedding website of Jacob Black and Leah Clearwater." Alice's eyes widened in shock and I continued. "Yup, that's her name and she's thirty-five years old."

"Wait a minute. What?" Alice peered closer to the screen in confusion. "She's thirty-five?"

I laughed at Alice's exclamation. "I can't even get a hold of him. So I went back into his profile and to see if I can learn more. I've been googling their names and the only tangible thing I could find was this, but I can't get into it their actual site. It's password protected."

"Bella, let's go home. I'll help you figure something out. You should have –" she started to say.

"ALICE! You don't understand," I interrupted with a shaky voice. "I don't even understand. All I see are these horrific pictures, profiles and just lies being thrown in my face. There may even be a baby! I just can't sit at home and wallow yet. I just want to know what's going on."

"Oh, sweetie," she said quietly. I nodded and just reached out to hug her.

"You're my best friend in the entire world and I appreciate you looking out for me, but I just don't know what to do," I sighed.

"Well, since we're here, let's brainstorm possible password combos." She made a thinking face and took the laptop from me. "It has to be something easy, that guests could easily remember…love? Romance? Forever?"

Alice typed all of those in, but they didn't work and I starting speculating myself. Where did she live? I had Alice go back to her profile – Tacoma.

"Hmmm," I suddenly said out loud. "Try 'Washington' in lowercase."

It had worked! We got in and I was met with probably the most damning evidence of all, a picture of Jake and Leah kissing, and a short paragraph that welcomed guests to their site.

_4 Years ago, I met the man of my dreams. He has been my rock, my support and the love of my life. After meeting through a mutual friend, we realized how much we love each other and want to make a life together. Last April, Jacob proposed to me in the most romantic way possible, and now we are expecting our own little bundle of joy!_

_We are very excited to bring our family and friends together for this joyous occasion! We love you all!_

_P.S. Jake, I love you more than all the stars in the sky!_

_-Leah and Jake_

I almost gagged. Alice's face was priceless. "I love you more than all the stars in the sky? Really?" We poked around the site for awhile and found the wedding registry. We went through their gift list, which had the typical wedding gifts – kitchen appliances, bedding, towels, camping equipment and…

"Roadside Emergency Kit?" We said at the exact same time and burst into giggles. In that moment, all I could do was laugh at the ridiculousness of these two people.

"Bel, come on, let's go," Alice closed the laptop and started to get up. "We need to go out tonight."

"Alright. Why not?" I packed up the laptop and we walked over to the student parking lot. We didn't say much, but it was a comfortable silence. I followed Alice's little yellow Porsche back to our place.

Thankfully, we took some shortcuts so the drive seemed shorter and I blasted one of my CDs, in attempts to drown out my thoughts. When we both arrived home, we started getting ready. Luckily, we each had our own bathrooms, so we never had to fight for the shower.

I walked into my bathroom, set up my iPod to play loud rock music. Afterwards, Alice combed out my long hair and styled it, curling the ends. When she was done I looked in the mirror and I looked so put together, normal even, but on the inside, I felt all twisted and frantic. Alice left me to finish getting ready and I went back to my bedroom. I closed the door, sat on the bed and stared my cell phone. I tried calling Jake one more time – nothing. On impulse, I called his dad. I could feel my heartbeat speed up in anticipation.

"Hello?" Billy answered.

"Hi Billy, it's Bella," I said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Bella! How are ya, kid?" he said happily. He loved when I called him just to chat.

"I'm alright. I just…I don't know how to ask you this…well…um…I have a question," I stammered. "I need to ask you something about Jake."

"Go on, Bella, I'm listening."

"Has he been acting unusual lately? Distant? You're the one person who knows him best and you guys have such a close and relationship. I was just wondering if he has mentioned anything."

"I know he's been pretty stressed out working at the shop, trying to move from apprentice stage to actual employee. He's been keeping mostly to himself the last couple of months though, working long hours and staying at Quil's a lot. But I do know he cares about you, Bella. His friends haven't been hanging around the house much, but then, he's been at their places. We haven't had a real talk in awhile."

I rolled my eyes, thinking 'you live in the same freakin' house'. I took a deep breath. "Do you think he is he dating someone else? Is he home? I haven't been able to get a hold of him today."

"I haven't seen Jake in a couple of days, I was out fishing and came home today, but there was a note from him saying his phone was broken. Typical Jake, if it's not his phone, it's his iPod or his car. But, Bella, Jake wouldn't cheat on you! He's a good man. He's working so hard to get his life together for you and himself. If he was dating someone else, word would get out and everyone here would know about it," he said matter of factly.

"Billy, I have something to show you," I said very calmly. I gave him Jake's username and password, told him to look at Leah's profile and call me back. We hung up not long after that.

I heard a knock at the door. "You ready?" Alice bounced in looking amazing as usual and in a different outfit – her signature ballet flats, tights and a black and white polka dot dress with half capped sleeves and a scarf in her hair. She stopped short and looked at my face. "What's wrong?"

"I just called Billy and told him to look at Leah's profile. He said he hasn't really talked to Jake. But I'm so sick of that work excuse. He's working at a body shop. It's not the U.S. Presidency for God's sake!" Alice snorted in a very unladylike fashion. "I mean, I'm supportive to whatever Jake wants to do with his career. His passion has always been cars, motorcycles, anything with a motor. When he wanted to pursue that, I was behind him a hundred percent. This is fuckin' ridiculous. How could his dad not know what his son has been doing? How could I not know this was happening?"

I slowly got up and went to the closet to distract myself and looked for an outfit. I couldn't believe how much my wardrobe had expanded since I became friends with Alice. Once I figured out a style I liked, my love for clothes greatly increased. I finally settled on a dark red v-neck sweater that was just tight enough, and tucked my jeans into some knee-high black heeled boots. Alice rummaged through my jewelry, found my gold hoop earrings and a delicate gold necklace. As I dressed, I was not distracted enough to take my eyes off my cell phone, though I held a pretty coherent conversation with Alice, talking about the goings on back home in Forks.

"So, my mom called and wants to get the family together for a weekend down here. She's going to call Emmett, who will probably bring Rosalie, and she wanted me to invite my cousin." I could hear the hope in her voice, which piqued my interest.

"You know, Edward. That could be fun. I haven't spent any quality time with him since high school. Come to think of it, I don't even think you've met him. He's my Aunt Esme and Uncle Carlisle's son. Edward's three years older than us and was in Emmett's class. He was the first one in our family to move to California. I should get Emmett to call him. They've always been super close." I could hear the excitement in Alice's voice.

I was _almost_ distracted enough to forget the phone call I made earlier. We were walking to the door and I was humming and nodding at the right moments, when I heard that familiar ring tone. It was Billy.

"Hello?" I didn't realize how shaky my voice had become.

"Bella," Billy said quietly. "I don't know what to say. I'm going to have a talk with my son and get to the bottom of this. I will talk to you later." And he hung up.

I was just about to say something and I couldn't believe he just hung up on me! I just sat down on the sofa with Alice by my side. The room was eerily quiet and I suddenly felt very calm. Too calm. We sat together like that for a few minutes without speaking. It was Alice who broke the silence.

"Come on, let's go. We need to get out of here." I just nodded at her and we left the apartment.

During dinner I picked at my food. "What am I going to tell my dad?" I finally said. "I mean, this is it, isn't it? I have no answers, but a million questions that only one person can answer and I can't get a hold of him. Should I fly home?" I could seriously go on and on with scenarios.

"Bella, listen to me," Alice began after taking a sip of wine. "I don't think there's any way around this situation. We can analyze it to the point of saying it's all photoshopped or she's stalking him or what have you. But, you need to realize he fucked up big time. He lied to _everyone_."

I just nodded and let her speak. She was so rational. So calm. So cut and dry with it and all I could think of was Jake and me – in love, his touch, his smell, his kisses, our future, everything – our life. It felt like it was all I'd known. I didn't know how to be any other way.


	2. Broken Vow

A/N: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Beta'd by the lovely

**[Chapter 2: Broken Vow]**

It was very late when we got home. As Alice headed towards the kitchen, I went to the living room and checked for messages on the answering machine – there was one, the start of a collect call that didn't go through.

"Who would be calling us like that?" Alice wondered out loud, poking her head out from the kitchen.

I shrugged at her, sat down on the couch and flipped on the TV, deciding to put on a movie. Alice went to her room to do whatever it is that Alice does in her room. About an hour in to the film, the phone rang again, startling me.

"Hello?" I asked.

"This is a collect call from – "

"Jake." I inhaled quickly and almost choked at the sound of that familiar voice.

"Do you accept the charges?" the operator asked.

"Yes."

"Hey there," he started. "How are you?"

"Um, I'm just great," I said sarcastically. "Never better. Why are you calling me so late and collect?"

"My phone broke and the power went out at the house tonight, so I drove into town to use the pay phone," he paused. "What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! What's wrong?! Jake, what the hell is going on?" I screamed into the phone as I paced frantically around the living room. "I need to ask you something. I was logged into your profile yesterday and I came across something." He didn't interrupt me, so I continued. "Who's Leah?"

Silence. I almost thought the line went dead.

"Who? I don't know," he said smoothly. "Who is that? Why are you upset?"

I groaned internally. It was going to play out like that. "Oh my God! You have got to be kidding me."

"Really, I don't know what you're talking about." He sounded so confident that I desperately wanted to believe him. The part of me that still wholeheartedly loved him was fighting so hard to shut out the horrific evidence I uncovered.

"I'm only going to say this once," I started, fairly calm. "There was a message from Leah to you, that read, 'Miss you baby, when are you coming home? Love you. Don't forget to add me.' Now can you please explain? What the fuck is going on?" I could hear my voice starting to escalate to the point of hysteria, but I thought I'd start off slow and not reveal all I knew.

"Oh…listen, she's nobody. I didn't want to worry you or anything, but it's nothing," he started and I inhaled quietly trying to calm down my pounding heart, which felt like it was going to jump out of my chest at any moment. I hate confrontations. "She is just this crazy woman. She came into the shop one day with her car and wouldn't leave me alone after that – "

"I saw the photos." I interrupted, remembering the numerous pictures she posted for the world. "Of you and her…together."

"Let me get to that. Don't worry about those." He was so smooth with explanations. "They are photoshopped. She created this fabricated relationship and now won't leave me alone. She's spreading horrible lies."

"Uh-huh. That is the biggest pile of shit I've ever heard in my entire life. Did you go out with her? Are you fucking her!?!" I could hear myself continuing to yell, abandoning the strategy of staying calm and collected.

"Bella! I fucked up. Okay, yes, I took her out, but I didn't do anything else!" He paused.

"Excuse me?" I choked out. "What do you mean, you 'took her out' but didn't 'do anything else'?!"

"Really, we didn't do anything." He remained calm, almost monotone. "Maybe we just need a break. I can come down there, maybe in January, we can see what happens and re-connect."

WHAT?! I screamed internally. What has just happened? My head wasn't connecting to my mouth. I burst into tears, sobbing into the phone. I had a million things I wanted to say and some really great 'fuck off and die' statements, but they wouldn't come out. For the first time in my life, I lost the ability to have a brilliant argument. How did 4 years just suddenly go down the toilet?

Jake continued speaking, "Listen, why don't we not talk for awhile and maybe in a month or 2 we can start talking again. I have to go."

And just like that, he was gone. I didn't move. I didn't take the phone off of my ear. Not even when that annoying dial tone was beeping at me. I looked over at the hallway that led to our bedrooms and saw Alice standing there. "I don't know what just happened," I said in the shakiest voice. She rushed over, took the phone and put her arms around me.

"I'm so sorry, Sweets. What did he say?"

"Um, I don't know. First, he denied even knowing her, then he said she was stalking him and now, they went out, but, 'didn't do anything'. Oh, and the pictures aren't real," I sighed, placing my face in my hands.

"Oh, Lord. Why was he calling collect?"

Looking at Alice, I just rolled my eyes. "He claimed his cell broke and suddenly the power went out. Blah, blah, blah."

"This is just so weird. Wow, I'm speechless. Come on, let me pour you a drink." Alice got up from the couch and went to the kitchen. I knew we had some red wine chilling in the fridge. "Are you going to call Charlie?"

"I don't know, probably, tomorrow. I'm scared. I mean he is a cop. What if he goes berserk and tries to kill him?" I cringed at the thought of calling my dad, and having to explain how my "perfect" boyfriend is a two-timing bastard. I fell over on the couch, hiding my face in a pillow.

"Here you go." I took the cup and just downed it.

"Do we have anything stronger?" I laughed a little. "Some tequila, for instance?"

Alice got up again and went searching in our fully stocked liquor cabinet. "Look what I found!" she said in a sing songy voice, returning with 2 bottles of liquor – the tequila and whiskey for herself. We drank and tried to decipher the latest piece of the puzzle to an already strange string of events, until we both passed out. My thoughts drifted easily away from the hurt I was feeling to the amazing night Jake proposed.

_It was Christmas Eve, 2 years ago, and I was home for the winter break. We were having our traditional dinner with Billy, Jake and my dad. It was simple and nice. My first attempt to cook a full turkey dinner paid off. I offhandedly noticed that the men seemed tense and they chattered nervously throughout dinner. I didn't really think too much about it, but in the back of my mind, I was dying to know what was going on. This was the loudest signal being thrown at me and I continued to revel in the thought of getting a really great Christmas present. _

_A little after 9, Jake drove Billy and I back to their place. Jake and I were going to exchange our gifts then. I was super excited because I was extremely satisfied about the gifts I bought for him. I also knew he was excited about tonight because he hinted for almost 3 months that it was going to be spectacular. When we got to the house, Billy went to bed, winking at me as he left. But before I sat on the couch, I went into the bathroom. After changing into my plaid pajama pants and a t-shirt, I glanced at the tiny mirror, pulling my hair into a messy bun and realized how content I felt. When I returned, I saw that the lights were dimmed and Jake was starting a fire in the fireplace. I giggled, mainly to myself, breaking the silence of the room. He just smiled at me with such love in his eyes. I walked over to give him a kiss, but he stopped me by kissing my forehead and excused himself._

_I was sitting on the couch when he crossed back through the living room, silently taking my hand and led me to the floor in front of the burning fire. It was quite romantic. We sat across from each other with our legs crossed. I went first. He made me. Typical Jake. _

"_Okay," I breathed in. "Well, Babe, I hope you like it." I handed him part one of his present, with a card that was completely filled up with words of love, hopes for the future and thanking God he's in my life. This is one tradition Jake and I started, we gave each other cards for every occasion._

"_Wow, this is amazing, Baby." He held up the Mariners jersey I got him that had 'Black' embroidered on back with the number 17 – our anniversary day which also happens to be the day of the St. Patrick's party. He leaned forward, stroked my cheek and kissed me tenderly. I felt the electricity between us. I'm still amazed that I know for a fact this man loves me. _

"_Okay," I said, leaning back from him. "Part 2 – I got this book for you, but before you laugh, I want you to read it." He looked so innocent as I was talking to him. His eyes were so dark and wide, staring at me. He took the picture book of love that I found at a card store and slowly opened it. I loved watching his face change as he read the short inscriptions that I wrote on every single page about us and being in love forever. _

_When he was done reading, he immediately pulled me into a hug, kissing my forehead softly and whispered, "I love you so much, Bella Swan. This is by far THE most amazing presents you've ever given me and I don't deserve you. You are my life and love…" Jake took a deep breath, his eyes widened and his face became very serious. "My turn."_

_I was brimming with anticipation. I had an inkling of what it could be, but I scolded myself to enjoy the moment. I looked out the window and saw from the light on the porch that it started to snow lightly. How romantic, I thought, it's Christmas Eve, it's snowing, I'm in the arms of the man I love, next to a roaring fire and there are presents! What could go wrong? I felt extremely safe and content. _

_Jake cleared his throat and had me sit across from him again. He first pulled out a card. It was a Christmas card, like those real mushy ones with the fancy script. In it he wrote, _

_Babe, _

_This is our second Christmas together and everything_

_keeps getting better and better. When you walked back_

_into my life, I realized that I want to spend the rest of my_

_life with you. You are amazing, supportive, huggable, _

_kissable, beautiful and I am still so surprised you love me.  
_

_I've waited my whole life for someone like you. (Well, I _

_must confess, I've had a crush on you since we were 6). _

_We make a great pair and I know this is forever. _

_Please make me the happiest man alive and say_

_you'll be my wife?  
_

_Love always, _

_Your Babe – Jacob Thomas Black_

_P.S. Can we play now? _

_I gasped. I was shaking. I didn't even realize I had tears in my eyes. Jake slowly took my hand, pulled out a tiny gray box, opening it and with a questioning look, held the most delicate ring around the tip of my ring finger. I just stared at him, stared at the ring, and nodded, whispering, "Yes, Jacob Black, I will marry you." He slipped the ring on my finger and the firelight danced off the tiny diamonds. He pulled me towards him and I sat with my back to his chest, sitting between his legs. He wrapped his arms around me and we just stared into the fire. I stretched out my hand and really saw my ring for the first time. It was white gold, with a band of 13 little diamonds, alternating between circle and princess cuts. It was almost an infinity band, but the diamonds didn't go all the way around. I was elated._

_I could feel Jake's breath on my neck. He was gently kissing it, moving my hair out of the way. I slowly turned my head to meet his lips and our gentle kisses became more passionate and loving. I loved his lips. He was the best kisser. Our tongues found each other and our breathing sped up as our kissing intensified. We got up without breaking away from each other and headed to his room…_

I woke up with a start and saw the sunlight streaming through the windows. "Oh, my head," I groaned. "What time is it?" I looked over and Alice was asleep near me, partly on the couch, partly on the floor. My mouth tasted like I ate a dirty gym sock, and it all came flooding back to me – the phone call, the tequila, the dream that didn't finish, but felt so real and tugged at my heart. I stretched, groaning in pain, as I glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was 11:30 in the morning. I heard a soft knock on the door. I slowly got up and opened it. There stood Jasper, all 6 feet of him with messy blond hair. Out of nowhere, I noticed how straight he stood. Even in jogging pants, a t-shirt and sneakers, he has this formal air about him, like from a different era.

"Morning, Jas," I cleared my throat. His face had a million questions without having to speak. "Come on in."

"Morning, Bells," he walked in, giving me a quick hug and saw his girlfriend in that twisted position she passed out in. "I take it last night wasn't any better?"

Jasper is always such a calming person. Even back in high school, I thought it was the strangest thing. No matter the situation, Jasper radiated peace and it was contagious. Alice and Jasper perfectly balanced each other, like yin and yang, or Garfield and Odie. I gave him the briefest explanation of the night before. He nodded sympathetically and strolled over to Alice, carefully lifting her and went into her room, closing the door behind them. I was left alone. And I felt it. The silence was deafening.

Since it was Saturday, I had no work or school. I walked into my bathroom, took the hottest shower possible, letting the water run over me. I think I was trying to cleanse myself as best as I could. Afterwards, as I was getting dressed, I decided I needed to venture out alone, with hopes of clearing my head. Since it looked like it was going to be a warm day, I threw on a pair of denim shorts, a baby doll halter top and black chunky flip flops. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, put on some makeup and left the apartment. I made sure to leave Alice and Jasper a note, so they wouldn't worry.

As I drove away from the apartment, I had no particular destination in mind. After some time, I headed in the direction of the Natural History Museum, thinking it might be a safe destination for my thoughts to get lost in. No one would find it weird that I was alone, wandering the exhibits. I'm not the kind of person who would eat alone at a restaurant or catch a movie without someone with me. It was a short distance from the parking lot to the museum entrance. I took in the view of the surrounding buildings, the quietness of the grounds, with the light hum from the cars on the boulevard in the distance. I took a seat on the steps leading up to the entrance and decided to call my dad before going inside.

"Hello?" My dad asked.

"Dad," I started to say, in an almost whisper.

"Bella? What's wrong, you don't sound okay."

"Dad, I need to tell you something. Um, Jake and I broke up. Yesterday." My voice was filled with anxiety and uncertainty.

"What? What happened? You guys will work it out whatever it is." I could tell this was not going to be an easy conversation and he was not going to listen to me. My dad loved him like a son, and that connection was older than my romantic relationship with Jake. He helped Billy raise Jake after his mom died, when he was 7. I knew my dad loved me, but I had the awful feeling he was going to side with Jake and make it seem like my fault. For once in my life, I longed for my mom, and hated that Florida was so far away. This time, she decided that Florida was the most ideal place for a fresh start.

"No! Dad, listen to me. We are NEVER getting back together, ever. Jake is cheating on me. He's screwing a woman and she may be pregnant with his kid. I've seen pictures," I babbled. I didn't tell him everything I discovered, but I wouldn't let him interrupt me either. I don't know what I wanted him to say. It was times like this when I wished we had a closer and more open relationship, where I felt comfortable enough to confide in him. I also wished he could comfort me, not say anything, and just hold me or hell, just fix it so it wouldn't hurt this bad.

"Oh come on. Are you sure?" He was so calm and blunt, ruining the illusion I longed for. "Bella, Jake wouldn't do that to you. He loves you. Billy never mentioned anything."

"Billy didn't know and even if he did, you think he would have told you? No matter what, Jake's his kid first. I feel like a fucking joke right now. How can we screw with Bella today? But Dad, I spoke to Billy and Jake separately yesterday. I honestly think Billy didn't know. But with Jake, I don't know what's real and what's not. I just know he's been with someone else." I was drained, remembering it all too clearly. "I gotta go."

"Isabella Marie," my dad was very stern and serious. "It will be okay. I will go talk to Billy – "

"Dad! Please don't. Please just drop it. But I will handle it. I'll call you later," pleading to just hang up the phone.

"Alright, I love you," Charlie said stiffly. I knew that was so hard for him to say and I struggled to say it back. This conversation was over.

After hanging up, I just sat there, taking a deep breath to calm myself down. Sighing, I got up, and entered the museum. I noticed families and kids all over the place, as I wandered aimlessly around. The dinosaur and animal exhibits looked like they haven't been updated since the place opened in the early 1900s. Even though it was a little crowded, the only thing I focused on was the sound of my flip flops squeaking on the marble tile. I realized fairly quickly that this outing was not a good idea. The exhibits did nothing to distract my thoughts from straying back to everything Jake and Bella related. I found myself desperately trying to hold on to the great memories we created together. But as soon as I remembered something amazing, the alarm from the rational side of my brain suddenly went off and my mind was bombarded with the new images of my fiancé in the arms of another woman. (Seeing your boyfriend with a massive hickey on his neck, is quite jarring, especially when you know that it didn't come from you). That alone made me shudder, and I soon found myself standing right outside of the Native Peoples of the Americas exhibit. I took it as a sign that it was time to leave. I quickly bolted from the museum, with hopes that most of the day was over, but when I reached the car and looked at the dash, it was still early in the afternoon – I was there less than an hour. I was pathetic.

Luckily the ride home was short and the blaring music me helped block out everything but the road in front of me. I found myself only listening to angry music filled with hate and heartache. When I opened the door to the apartment, I found Alice and Jasper sitting on the couch watching TV.

"I've made a decision," I announced, before either one of them could speak, their faces full of anticipation. "I've been thinking and I need to escape for a bit, so I want to go Vegas. Where better to lose yourself? What do you think, Al? We could leave in half an hour?"

"Alright!" yelled Alice. She excitedly jumped up, but made a face, when she realized that she never changed out of her pajamas. I giggled. "Jasper, hon, you can't go. Bel and me are hitting the strip! Girls only!"

"Well, I will leave you two to your vices," he began, getting up. "Bella, please drown your sorrows in many, many shots and I hope it releases the burden you are carrying right now."

Jasper never ceases to amaze me with his words. I nodded and gave him a hug. He kissed Alice and left us to pack. Alice immediately went to her room, as I dawdled in the living room, just sitting on the couch.

"So, where are we staying?" She yelled from her room. I could hear her dragging something across the floor. It sounded heavy.

"I don't know," I replied. "I figured we could get there and just pick a place. Totally play it by ear. I just have to get away. I feel like I can't function right now. Hurry, my friend, we gotta hit the road!"

I finally walked into my room and grabbed my pink and white hibiscus overnight bag out of the closet. My spirits lifted just a bit knowing that in 4 short hours, I could drink myself stupid and forget. That's all I really wanted – to forget. I stared at the abundance of clothes hanging in my closet. I knew I need an outfit for tonight and finally found the perfect one. It was a black halter that flared just a bit above my hips, with the neckline to my navel, paired with dark wash jeans and gold stilettos. I packed my gold hoop earrings and threw in my makeup, curling iron and anything else that would help mask the war my brain was waging against my heart. I also threw in miscellaneous comfy clothes for the ride home tomorrow.

"I'm ready!" Alice's energy was insane. She also rivaled me in the variety and amount of clothes she owned. I laughed to myself thinking how I used to cringe at the thought of dressing up, and how much I've grown to love it. I looked out my door and saw her rolling her giant designer suitcase down the hall and just shook my head, now knowing what that dragging sound was earlier. She stopped at my door.

"Al, we're just going overnight. What do you have in there?"

"Come on, Bella, you need to be prepared for anything," she casually replied. "What if we stay longer? What if it rains or snows or what have you? Did you bring your bathing suit?"

"Crap, hold on," I sighed, opening one of my dresser drawers, looking for one of my suits, any one would do, since I highly doubted we were going swimming. I heard Alice's cell ring. I noticed she changed her ring tone again to a different song.

"Em! How are you big brother?" I heard her squeal and walk away. "Uh huh, uh huh. Sounds like a plan. Well, Bella and I are off to Vegas right now. We'll be back tomorrow. Don't give me that. We'll be fine. No, Jasper's not coming. Yes, we're taking my car. Stop! Don't make fun of Bella's truck."

I had to smile at that last comment, my red truck _was_ pretty old, and it probably wouldn't make it to Las Vegas. I don't even know how it made it down 2 states. I'd probably have to get rid of it now, since it once belonged to _that_ family. I was so excited when my dad bought the retro looking truck from Billy Black. Lately though, it's been making some weird car noises and I don't think the truck had much life left in it, but I still loved it. A couple of years ago, I put on a new coat of paint, it was still a bright red, but it was the kind of paint that had sparkles in it, and a new set of white wall tires. Alice's yellow Porsche, was only a couple of years old, and would definitely get us there in less than 4 hours. I tuned out the rest of their conversation.

"Bel-la!" Alice sang out. "Let's go!"

"Coming!" I replied. Taking one last look at my room and _that_ packed box of memories staring at me from under the desk, like a beacon, I closed the door and didn't look back.


	3. Martinis and Ales

**[Chapter 3 Title: Martinis and Ales] **

A/N: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Driving through the desolate desert at top speed, I felt like we were fugitives on the run. Alice's car glided on the highway, so smooth and fast. We chatted lively, listened to music, and even played one of those road trip games that involve license plates. I was surprised and irritated at how many times a Washington license plate would grab my attention. A couple of hours into the drive, I eventually fell asleep and dreamt.

_In the early hours of the morning, I found myself walking along the cliffs in La Push, listening to waves violently crash against the jagged rocks below. The fog that enveloped the landscape made it very difficult to see more than 3 feet in front of me. I was cold, shivering and searching. I was searching for him. I followed the dirt path from the sea into the dense forest, sobbing out his name. I turned around and made out the faint outline of another person. I knew it was him. I sprinted towards him screaming. He never once acknowledged that he heard me or even turned around, continuing to walk farther away from me._

_I tried to follow, knowing I was close enough to touch him, but somehow still out of reach. He walked into a meadow, where the fog lifted and the sun filtered through, casting eerie shadows across the clearing. I called out to him and he froze. This time, I could have sworn he heard me. When I went to say it again, another voice overlapped mine._

"_Jake," we said at the same time. He turned towards the direction of the other voice and fell into the open arms of the woman with the dark black hair and pregnant belly. Suddenly, she turned her face slightly in my direction. I saw the smug, almost triumphant smile, as she made eye contact with me and proceeded to kiss him deeply. I couldn't look away. _

_A sob escaped my body, but it came out more like a howl and I collapsed right there in the meadow._

I woke up with a start, trying to catch my breath. Alice lowered the radio, and quickly glanced towards me.

"Bel, you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Where are we?" I gasped out, trying to calm my nerves from that dream.

"We are almost to the Nevada border, which puts Vegas about 40 minutes away! So you want to tell me what you were dreaming about? You yelled out _his _name." I didn't like the way she emphasized 'his'. When did I start sleep talking? That dream felt so real. With some reluctance, I told her everything I could remember.

"Her face was just so twisted, like she won the prize and I had to watch her claim it. It was so heartbreaking. Ugh. I can't believe this. I hate her! I hate her bangs! I hate him! I hate that this happened!" Alice nodded her head, and I could see the sympathy on her face

"Wow, that's some dream. Do you usually dream about him?"

"Not really. It's just that I keep running our relationship through my head, over and over again. It's all I've thought about in the last couple of days. I don't know where it all went wrong. I don't understand and I think that is the hardest part. I don't have the why." I didn't want to talk about my dream anymore, so I changed the subject. "What hotel should we stay at?"

"Ooooh. Um…" Alice's face lit up and her eyes twinkled. "I know where we are going, but I'm not going to tell you!"

"You have to tell me, Al! You can't keep that from me!" I giggled and she just shook her head, turning up the stereo.

I sat back, listening to the music, humming along and staring out the window. We chattered back and forth. Eventually, the landscape changed from empty, rolling hills of sand and rock to a beautiful oasis of lights and buildings. Though it was starting to get dark, the sky in the distance was lit up like daylight, and we were greeted by the seemingly endless stream of casinos and hotels. My mood lifted significantly when I saw the black pyramid with its beam of light shooting up into the darkened sky.

Alice exited the highway onto the strip and proceeded north to our destination. It was exciting to be back in Vegas. Since moving to L.A., I've been to Vegas a couple of times, usually with Jake in tow, and it has rapidly become one of my favorite vacation spots. Last year, for my 21st birthday, the gang: Alice, Jasper, Emmett, his girlfriend Rosalie, and Jake took off to Sin City. It should have been one of the best birthdays, except for the fight Jake picked with me. No knew that this had happened, but that night when we all stumbled back to our rooms in the early morning, I was expecting the celebration to continue with romance and sex, but instead, without a spoken word, Jake dropped me off in the room and left. When I awoke in the morning, I found him sleeping on the floor beside the bed. He never explained the cause of the unspoken argument. He also took an unexpected early flight back to Washington and didn't speak to me for almost a week. He never brought it up again and never discussed it.

Alice pulled into the massive hotel, with its opulent columns, marble floors, and bronze gilded doors welcoming us. We valet'd the car (naturally, as Alice would say) and proceeded to check in. My senses were completely overwhelmed as I took in the high painted ceilings, the flashing lights of the slot machines to the left of us and the hustle and bustle of tourists. I breathed in the fragrant casino air and felt a million miles away.

"Alright, we're checked in!" Alice chirped, as she bounced over to where I was standing. "We are staying in a suite on the 18th floor. Let's go!"

"I need to go play," my arms stretching out towards the gaming tables.

"Not yet! We need to change and I have to do your hair." Alice was a woman with a mission and I was grateful that I didn't have to plan anything.

We took one of the many elevators in lobby and zoomed up to the floor we were staying on. When Alice opened the door, I walked in first and gasped at the immense size of the room, decorated in tones of browns, creams and blues. The enormous bathroom was to the right. The beds looked so inviting and comfy as I walked passed them, crossing the suite to the large window. We had a view of the Strip – the people walking along looked like ants, below the flashing lights of the other casinos.

"Emmett was so jealous that we were here and didn't invite him!" Alice laughed as she walked over. "He said that if we had told him earlier, he would have met us here."

"Of course he would have. I'm surprised he didn't catch a flight and beat us here!" I laughed along with her. Emmett was the most spontaneous person I knew, next to me. There were many times when Alice would call him an hour before going out somewhere and he would show up, much to the dismay of Rosalie. She liked to have enough time to do her makeup, pick an outfit, and fix her golden locks to perfection. Rose and I have never had a super close friendship but since the 3 of us moved to California, she and Emmett joined our little group, and we've become a five-some, so to speak. She was a California girl, through and through, tall, blonde, blue-eye beauty who captured the heart of our very own jokester. I thought they went together perfectly, but Alice was surprised they have lasted for so long. Her big brother never date the same girl twice, which I know of, but he seemed to have found true love with Rosalie.

_The first time I ran into Emmett and I mean literally, ran into, was during an impromptu sleepover that Alice decided to throw. I came to her house with my hair in a ponytail, plaid pajama bottoms and a hoodie. I was super comfy. We sat in her beautifully decorated room, couture at its finest, while she pulled out the yearbook and dished on everyone in our class. We giggled and laughed non-stop for an hour, when she decided that it was makeover time. _

"_Alice," I groaned. "I'm not that kind of girl that enjoys pampering and makeup. You don't need to fuss over me."_

"_Bella," Alice started, walking over to her vanity, pulling open drawers full of beauty products, lotions, and random jars of magic potions, it seemed. "Nonsense, we are doing a proper sleepover tonight. This includes makeup, hair, ice cream, pizza, mani/pedis and much, much more. Take off your hoodie."_

_I started laughing at everything she was placing in front of her. There was no arguing with this tiny girl and her determined face. She had me wash my face in the adjoining bathroom. Her bathroom seemed bigger than my bedroom, with a beautiful marble spa tub, granite countertops and large mirrors. I re-joined Alice back in her room and she proceeded to slather my face with a gooey, green blue mask. I tried to sit as still as possible, as she rambled on about the benefits my skin would reap by repeating this once a week. I wanted to scratch at my face so bad. _

_Once we were both fully caked in that goo, we had to sit with it on for 15 minutes. Alice then pulled out her extensive nail polish collection. She must have had every color of the rainbow. I tried not to roll my eyes at her when she wanted me to pick one of the many pink shades, but instead, chose a sparkly dark burgundy one. Alice's mom interrupted us, announcing the arrival of the pizza. Alice squealed and bolted down the stairs. You do not cross Alice and food. Before leaving her room, I checked myself in the mirror and laughed at the sight of my green face. It was still a little goopy. _

"_Come on, Bella!" I heard Alice's impatient voice ring through the house. _

"_Coming!" I answered, running out of the room and straight into a solid mass, falling on my back. "Oooof."_

_I was greeted by a deep, loud chuckle. I looked up and saw a very handsome, muscular man with adorable dimples smiling back at me. He had dark brown, somewhat curly hair and was wearing track pants and sneakers. I saw his white tank stamped with my green face print in the center. _

"_Where's the fire?" He extended his massive hand to mine and helped me up. I was so embarrassed. _

"_Oh, um, sorry about that," I sort of mumbled to Hercules, who towered over me._

_He laughed again loudly and walked past me. I was mortified. I entered the kitchen and sort of glanced sheepishly at Alice. _

"_What happened? Why is your mask all smudged?" She asked, sliding a plate of pizza towards me, while sitting at the kitchen counter._

"_Um, I had a little accident in the hallway and sort of smashed into…" I started. _

_In an instant, Alice's face went from concern to realization and burst into laughter. I just stared at her. _

"_I'm sorry, Bella," in between her giggles, "I think you ran into my brother, Emmett."_

"_That's your brother?!" I groaned, laying my head on the counter._

I smiled at that memory. As I spent more time at Alice's house, I got to know Emmett really well. He played so many pranks on Alice and I, from crank calling, telling awful jokes involving ducks, priests and bars and flat out scaring us, but he was very protective of his baby sister and I became included in that equation. I never told Alice or anybody else that I used to have the biggest crush on him. After finishing his second year of college, Emmett was the first to escape the gray skies of Washington to sunny California. When he graduated, Emmett moved to the beach and opened a successful surf shop, which Alice sometimes worked at on the weekends, dressing the displays and coordinating the new lines that arrive.

The sound of Alice unpacking her beauty products, made me laugh, as I remembered our first sleepover. They took up the entire counter in the bathroom. She also set up her music player, blasting it, while we took turns showering and getting ready. She wouldn't let me lift a finger. She finished dressing first, looking sophisticated in a short strapless black and white cocktail dress. Her hair was twisted into an intricate updo filled with bobby pins. Once she was ready, she took to styling my hair, blow drying it, curling the layered ends, finishing with my makeup.

"You look beautiful, Bel. We're gonna knock them dead!" She was so jubilant, and easy going, but my stomach became knotted up, because I looked like myself, normal, yet I felt like curling up into a ball in the corner. I was staring in the mirror at my dark, smoky eyes and my hair cascading towards my waist and tried to smile at Alice. I heard a knock on the door and she left to answer it. I heard voices, but the music playing drowned them out.

"Here, you need this." Alice returned with 2 glasses of champagne. Surprised, but never one to turn down a drink, downed it quickly.

"Please, sir, may I have some more?" I asked in my horrible attempt at a British accent. She poured me another. I instantly felt more relaxed, probably due to the fact that I hadn't eaten much in the last couple of days.

We each took a final look in the mirror – Alice in her dress, me in my jeans and very revealing halter, both of us in our stilettos and left. We walked out of the casino to a restaurant close by. I attempted to walk confidently, with my head up, shoulders back, but tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Alice was checking every man that we passed and shamelessly pointed them out. By the time we reached the restaurant, I realized, I didn't even notice the opposite sex. It felt wrong, that it would be cheating, and in the same instant, I realized how stupid that was. I just shook my head in frustration to my conflicting emotions and thoughts.

After being seated, a waiter immediately came over to our table.

"Hello, ladies. My name is Mike and I will be taking care of you this evening." As he said this, his turquoise blue eyes bore into mine. "What would you like to drink?"

"We will both have a glass of Merlot," Alice stated confidently.

"Excellent. Do you need a moment to look over the menu?" he asked, again looking at me when he spoke. I instantly felt my face become warm, but I was never one to blush easily.

"Um, yes. Thanks," I answered. He nodded and walked away.

"He's totally into you," Alice whispered, not so quietly, I might add. "And he's hot."

My head whipped around so fast. "What?! No way, Al, shut up. Pick something to eat."

Mike came back, not 5 minutes later, to take our orders. I finally was able to get a better look at him. He _was_ handsome. He was average height, with messy, dirty blonde hair and a genuine smile. He wore a white collared oxford with a tie and black slacks, but wore his uniform as if headed out for a night on the town. Alice continued to nudge me with her spike heel and I kept shooting her dirty looks, the pain my heart continued to gnaw at me.

Dinner arrived and looked amazing, but I picked at it, not really tasting the filet mignon or potatoes. But I did refill my drink – continuing the night on wine. The warmth of the alcohol washed over my entire body. I hadn't felt like this in days. I almost felt whole again…_almost_. Our conversation remained light and silly, which I was completely grateful for. The wine mixed with the constant attention of Mike, messed with my head a bit. I internally loved the attention, but hated that it was from him and not Jake.

"Ladies, anything else this evening?" I was now openly staring at him.

Alice giggled. "I think we are done. Thank you. Just the check." He nodded and left. Alice turned towards me, with the most mischievous grin I've ever seen and said to me under her breath, "and you."

I groaned internally. Not wanting to know what she was thinking. Mike returned with our check, thanking us again. I went to get the bill and Alice took it out of my hands and would not let me pay, but her eyes were as round as saucers.

"What?" I asked.

"Look." She handed me the bill and I openly gaped at what I saw. Mike left his phone number on the receipt. "Oh jeez," I muttered. My heart began to flutter and I could feel my eyes on the verge of tearing up. I don't know why I panicked. I folded up the receipt and threw it my purse as we exited the booth. I was hoping to get out of the restaurant without seeing Mike again, but he was at the entrance of the restaurant, holding the door open.

"Thank you again, ladies. Maybe I'll see you around the casino later?" He had the most hopeful look on his face and all I wanted to do was get out of there. "What are your names?"

"I'm Alice and this is Bella," she said shaking his hand.

He turned to me and took my hand, as well. I tried not to look at him to long. I wished Alice wasn't so personable. She can talk to anyone effortlessly.

"Great! I get off in an hour, maybe I'll see you guys in a bit?" he questioned again, since we failed to answer the first time.

"Sure, sure," Alice said quickly. She took my hand and left Mike standing there with an excited gleam in his eye.

We made our way through the casino floor and I found a slot machine. The cocktail waitress came by and I continued to self medicate with the free drinks, while mindlessly inserting $20 dollar bills. Alice left me to play blackjack. She had a knack for winning hands there and always knew which card the dealer was going to throw. It was almost a given that she would be at that table for hours.

I made my way around to different slots, some with fish, others hieroglyphs, mermaids, cherries, 777s and flames. It was over stimulating my mind. I relished in the chaos and noise of the casino. I was concentrating so hard on the spinning reels that I didn't notice the person sitting next to me until they tapped me on the shoulder. I jumped a little and saw Mike, the waiter, sitting next to me. 'Fuck!' I thought to myself. In this immense casino, how did he manage to find me?

"Hi, Bella!" he said brightly.

"Um, hello there," I muttered.

"What brings you to Vegas?" he inquired. I almost blurted out, I discovered my fiancé living a double life with an old lady and she's pregnant, and I needed to escape, but decided against that.

"Girls weekend out," I replied succinctly.

"Awesome. Can I buy you a free drink?" He smirked at his own pick up line, lifting his drink, finishing in one swallow.

"No thanks. Still have this one," I said picking up my half filled glass. I tried to ignore him after that, but his eyes never left my face, or should I say, my chest. I really didn't want to deal with this. If Jake was here, Mike would have a broken face. Once again, my aching for Jake came to the forefront of my mind. This time it wouldn't stay quiet. I started looking around for Alice and cursed myself for wandering away from the blackjack tables.

"I better go find Alice. We were just about to leave." I got up, but so did he, following me.

"You can't go yet, beautiful. The night is just beginning. Let me show you the sights, maybe see my place? It's a penthouse just a little ways from here. The views are amazing."

I whirled around. What? My alarms in my head were going off. "Excuse me?"

"What? You don't dress that sexy, flirting with me all through your dinner and not expect me to react, right? Can't you feel the electricity pulsing between us? You're smokin', babe." He surveyed my body, licking his lips and I grimaced at the nickname. _My _nickname, reserved by one man only and it wasn't the waiter.

"Do _not_ call me 'babe'!" I said through gritted teeth, poking him in the chest, walking away. "Why don't you go bother somebody else? Not interested." I could feel my eyes starting to tear, thinking how this could have gone so wrong, so quickly? Mike continued to follow me, while I made my way back to find Alice and tried to ignore him. He attempted to put his hand on the small of my back, but I would swat his hand away. As I approached the center of the casino, where the row of card tables stood, I heard a ruckus of yelling and cheering. I saw my little pixie of a friend jumping up and down as she brought down the house.

"Alice!" I yelled over the crowd, hoping she'd hear me. I saw her look around, finally looking behind her and we locked eyes. She looked surprised, but an unspoken conversation passed between us and I heard her announce her retirement from that table.

"Thank you, gentlemen, it was my pleasure taking your money, but I must be off!" Her voice rang above the casino noise. She had the entire table enchanted. I saw her put the wads of bills in her clutch.

"Bella! What's the matter, what happened?" A single tear escaped and I nodded to the bastard who was standing beside me. "What the fuck did you do?" as she lunged toward him. Mike totally backed off with his arms up, muttering something akin to 'crazy bitches' and walked away without putting up much of a fight. Alice grabbed me and held me a bit, which was a little awkward, considering our height different, especially with our heels on.

"Let's go. We'll go back to our hotel. We can't let that asshole ruin the night. Are you alright?" I nodded. For the rest of the night, I made sure to stay by Alice's side, and tried to do what she said. I drank myself into a drunken stupor.

"Alice," I slurred, leaning my head on her shoulder. "Thank you. For everything. You have no idea what this means to me. And thank you for tonight."

"You don't need to thank me, Sweets. That's what I'm here for. I'm just sorry I was blinded by his face." She was leaning on me for support, as well, and I stumbled back into her. We were quite a pair.

More drinks were poured, and I kept feeding the slot machines with my money. No jackpots were hit. Finally, Alice tapped me on the shoulder, indicating she was ready to catch some sleep.

"One more," I stated, she just shook her head. I had 20 bucks left. I walked over to one of the Wheel of Fortune dollar machines, said a little prayer and inserted the bill. I watched as the 3 reels lined up with 'Wheel of Fortune', indicating an extra spin.

"I got a spin!" I shrieked in delight. I hit the button and it spun the bonus wheel much like the one on the game show.

"Big Money! Big Money!" Alice yelled.

It landed on $500. I screamed and the people surrounding us applauded. I was completely elated. I couldn't believe the change of luck after the earlier disaster. We cashed out and stumbled back to our room. I passed out the minute my head hit the pillow, not bothering to change.

I woke the next morning to the blinding sunlight. Groaning, I sat up and instantly threw my hand up to my head. I got up, tripping in the process realizing I was still wearing my heels from the night before, and closed the black out curtains. The room became night again. I sat down on my bed, and the clock read 7:30. Taking off my shoes, I glanced over to the other bed and could barely make out Alice's shape from under the covers. The sound of her soft snoring was barely audible as I walked over to the bathroom and decided to take a shower. I still wasn't fully aware of my surroundings and let the hot water flow over my entire body. I was almost relaxed, when I realized why I was in Las Vegas. I suddenly choked out a sob and in that one moment, the flood gates opened. I cried. I cried for the hurt I felt. I cried about Jake wanting her. I cried that this woman was having the baby I was supposed to have. I cried because I was left behind. So many questions and no answers – 'Would they ever come?'

After I finished in the shower, I put my pajamas on, braided my wet hair and crawled back in bed. I fell fast asleep, exhausted.

I awoke to Alice gently shaking me.

"Hmph?" I mumbled from underneath the pillows and fluffy comforter. I felt so safe in my cocoon.

"Bella," Alice said quietly as she started bouncing on the bed. "It's time to get up, it's almost noon and I'm starving!"

"Ack. Ok. I'm up." I sat up with my eyes barely open; my hangover wasn't as bad as it was in the early morning hours. Alice had opened the curtains slightly to let a little light through. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. Probably an hour or so," she answered. I still didn't move from the bed. Alice was already dressed in a blue plaid cotton summer dress and flat sandals. Her hair was in curls, set with a thin blue headband.

"How are you feeling this morning?" I asked her.

"I'm alright. I took some aspirin before I went to sleep and drank some water. I was getting you a glass too, but you had already face planted into the pillow." Alice giggled.

"I'm never drinking again," I said, quoting one of my favorite movies. I got up and threw on a pair of denim capris, and layered a white tank under a pink one. I undid my messy braid and re-braided my hair into pigtails. After checking out, we retrieved the car and drove across the boulevard to the shops that were attached to one of the casinos and searched for a place to eat. We stumbled upon a deli and ordered sandwiches. I was relieved that there were no waiters at this place.

"So, how are you holding up?" she asked. The one question I was beginning to hate the most.

I looked at Alice, hiding the snort that almost escaped my nose. "Um, I'm fine."

"Oh come on, Bella. You can't try to deflect me. Just remember, you're going to be great. You get to walk away with a clear conscience. This woman, whoever she is, has to live with the lies." She was so confident in her answer, like she spoke the truth.

"Alice, it doesn't matter how awful their lives are or will be or not. No matter what, he's with her and they are together. He was mine and now it's like a nightmare come true. This wasn't supposed to happen to me. This happens in movies or bad reality shows. Not to a small town girl, who's smart, in college, and okay looking. I just can't comprehend _how_ this happened. Why didn't anyone know?"

"Shut up, you are beautiful, my friend. I used to see the way he looked at you, with love, but I also saw the way he started to treat you too. I also saw how much it hurt you. It was weird and I knew something was up. His excuses of working so much or not being able to go out of his way for you just didn't add up."

'You knew something was up?' I thought bitterly because I also knew something wasn't right. But who could have known it was this bad? "I'm not stupid, Al. I know our relationship was off balanced for the last year, but seriously, I wholeheartedly believed it was work. I mean, he was constantly telling me how it was all for us and our future – that's all he talked about. I don't know."

"Well," Alice began. "The first thing you need to do is start closing this chapter. Just remember, you get to go forward…"

When Alice started up with the whole, 'I'll be the better person', I immediately tensed up. I could feel my hands balling up. I don't feel like I'm going to be better off. I can't even see past the next day, let alone years from now. I want my life back. I want the love back. I just want Jake. I want his touch, his mouth on mine, and to hear his laughter. I want to see his stupid face. I am pathetic.

"Earth to Bella!" Alice interrupted my thoughts by snapping her fingers at me, which I did not appreciate, but let slide. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Huh? Uh yeah?" I stuttered. I noticed she was done with her lunch and I barely ate more than half of my turkey sandwich.

"Suuuure. I said are you going to finish your food? You need to eat, Bel," she said so matter of factly.

I nodded, "I know, I just don't have an appetite. Can we go? I really don't want to talk about this anymore." In all honesty, I felt like if I said anything that agreed with Alice, it would ruin the illusion I had in my head that everything will be fine – it's all a misunderstanding – she's not pregnant with his baby – Jake is still mine. We left the deli and walked over to the casino, where we played a couple of slots and our conversation flowed easily between each other again. By the middle of the afternoon, we hopped in the Porsche and headed home.

When we returned to the apartment, it was late in the evening and Jasper was waiting on the porch. Alice must have texted him earlier. I suddenly felt this huge resentment towards him and envied their relationship. I never felt that emotion before because I had exactly what I wanted. Without saying a word, I waved at Jasper and went straight to my room shutting the door behind me. I turned my cell back on – there was one. I sighed and shakily called it. What was I expecting? Jake to call me? Maybe. But it was just my mother telling me that she spoke to my dad and to call her as soon as possible. I erased the message and put my cell on silent. I decided to just go to bed.

As I was lying under the covers, my head was constantly fighting between what was and what is. I longed for him and I despised myself for even thinking that. There were so many scenarios flooding my mind, with half of them not based in reality, that I finally got out of bed and took some much needed Nyquil - my favorite sleep aid that sends me into dreamless slumber. Usually.

_We're lying in bed, the sheets wrapped around my body. My legs are tangled in his. I snuggle closer to his chest and kiss it gently. My eyes are still closed, inhaling his sent, as my fingers rub his ear, and sigh contently. This is what life is – pure bliss. I remember the sex so clearly – passionate, our bodies in rhythm with each other, screaming each other's names, the breathless 'I love yous' and endless kisses all over. I finally look up and his sleepy eyes meet mine, smiling. He is the first to break the silence._

"_Babe," his hands find his way into my hair, as he leans in for a lingering kiss. "I'll be right back."_

"_No way, my love," I whisper, never letting go. "I love you so much."_

"_I love you too. I just have to use the restroom." He starts to get up, throws on his shorts and I watch him leave the room, smiling to myself. I roll over on to my back and thank God, we're together. Almost immediately, I fall into a deep sleep. The morning light wakes me and I reach over to touch my love and the bed is empty. I open my eyes. I'm now completely entangled in that damn sheet and see that my bed is empty. My heart starts pounding._

"_Babe?" I call out. "Jake?"_

_He's gone. Just gone._

I awoke with a start, panting just a bit, remembering the end of my dream. "What the hell?" I mumbled to myself in the dark. I looked over at the clock and it was 4:30 in the morning. "Ugh." I threw myself back into the pillows and stared at the ceiling. I needed to get a grip on myself. My bed and my heart have never felt so empty.


	4. Trick or Treats

**[Chapter 4: Trick or Treats]**

A/N: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Drama belongs to me – it really does.

Sitting outside a beachside café, while waiting impatiently for Alice, I stared blankly at the lunch menu. The night before, Alice burst into my room announcing the activities that she and Rosalie had planned for a lazy Sunday. _Lazy Sunday, _yeah right, I chuckled to myself. Since our return from Vegas, a couple of weeks ago, I felt like I've been living in a state of confusion. I kept up the façade of the responsible young adult, consistently attended classes, work, and even frequently hung out with friends, but inside, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Working at the museum and cataloging artifacts helped fill most of my day, and kept my mind occupied. I relished in the silence it brought me, so for a few hours, I was able to focus on the past – but not mine.

I'd barely spoken to my parents since I told them about Jake. My dad took the, "you're better off now…he's an asshole…don't mention his name again…" stance, but his well meaning comments fell on deaf ears. My mom was no better, she wouldn't even let me talk about the pain I felt, and her anger with the Jake's actions overshadowed everything. It was almost to the point, where I had only myself to depend on. It was so hard to have those reassuring conversations in my head, when all I wanted was to call Jake, have him comfort me and tell me everything was going to be fine.

Alice tirelessly included me in everything – nights out at the bars, parties, shopping, outings, dinners; even Emmett and Rosalie joined us. I never told her or anyone how much I hated being 5th wheel Bella. I also developed a very nasty inner monologue, full of anger and envy. The majority of those thoughts were directed towards Emmett and Jasper. I was insanely jealous that their relationships flourished. I masked my hurt and irritation and tried only to display my silly, sarcastic self when we were all together. When I was alone or with Alice or Rosalie; angry and shit talking Bella emerged.

My nights became consumed with spying on everything Jake or _that woman _posted on their profiles and searching for anything new, especially with updated photos. Since communication between he and I completely ceased after that one phone call, the internet was the only connection I had to him. Whenever I found something new or different, I got such an adrenaline rush, no matter how insignificant, and Alice was always the first person I told. I always felt triumphant in adding a piece to the puzzle, but when I would come down from that high, it hit me that this wasn't some game I was playing, but rather my reality.

Lucky for me, today, I didn't have access to a computer while I sat waiting for my friends, and instead kept my sunglasses on and stared out at the bustling street. I cringed when a couple kissed or held hands. My heart lurched when I saw a man put his hands on his pregnant wife's belly. I shifted my gaze to the horizon, watching the ocean, when Alice startled me.

"Hey!" She chirped. I jumped a little and she laughed. "Sorry."

"Hey, yourself," I giggled. "What's with the notebook?"

"Remember the weekend my parents wanted to come down and get together?" I nodded, waiting for her to go on. "Mom wants to throw a massive Halloween party – costumes and all!"

"What's up, bitches!" Rosalie's loud voice carried over the buzz of the street, catching the attention of those around us. "What are we talking about and did you order me a burger?"

Alice and I giggled at Rosalie's rambunctiousness and demand for food in the same breath. She hugged us both, sitting down and proceeded to pull her long, luxurious hair into a simple ponytail. The waiter arrived, took our drink orders and Alice immediately turned our casual lunch into a meeting, leading it like a business woman, albeit, a tiny business woman, and to top it off, even putting on some black rimmed glasses.

"Ok girls, listen up we have a couple of weeks to put this party together," Alice said, making it sound more and more like a strategic plan. "Rose and I have already booked the location and blocked off rooms at the hotel across the street. My mom has a company contact that will decorate the venue. I've picked out the invitations, but we need to narrow down the guest list. We also need to get our costumes together. I've already started mine…"

Rosalie suddenly burst out laughing. "HA! I'm sorry, Al, really, but you're going a mile a minute and we haven't even ordered food yet."

I giggled a little, covering my mouth with my hand, when I saw Alice's death glare at both of us. She continued spewing ideas, while I became lost in my thoughts, concentrating on 2 things – the need for a costume and the thought of being in a hotel room, alone.

"Well, if you aren't going to listen, I guess you won't get an invite," she stated and then stuck her tongue out. I counted the seconds, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and Alice lost her serious composure and started giggling. I was just waiting for the little pixie to crack. The waiter returned and we ordered lunch. It wasn't long until we were so consumed with the party plans that I noticed that we had been at the café for over 3 hours.

"Last thing we need to discuss is who gets to be invited? I'm thinking the list should be divided into VIPs and the peasants. The VIPs will include me, of course, Jas, Rose, Em, Bel, my parents, my cousin Edward, and whoever he brings." She tapped the pen to her mouth, pensive in her thought. "I don't know who else we should invite. I think with VIP, we'll do an open bar, so we don't have to worry about money or lines. This is so exciting! Do you guys have anyone you may want to add to THE list?

"Well, I don't," Rosalie started. "But Emmett might. He's got all those surf buddies that he's been hanging out with - Eric, Tyler, Ben and the other one...James."

"No extras for me." I chimed in. My stomach became knotted up and tight as I began to anticipate attending this party solo.

"Ok, great! This week, we can work on our costumes and shop!" Alice was bouncing in her seat. I swear that girl has endless enthusiasm. We started to pack up our things, exchanging goodbyes with Alice who was on her way to meet Jasper, and work on his costume. Rosalie and I watched her skip around the corner.

"So, Bel how's everything?" Rose asked. I looked at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes. I sighed; this was one the question I was starting to hate. We started to cross the street, towards the beach. With her wit and sarcastic personality, it was always nice to see the serious side. I've come to appreciate this about Rosalie.

"It is what it is. Nothing's changed; even her profile hasn't been updated. I haven't heard from anyone. I want to believe so much that it's untrue. I want to believe that _Leah_ masterminded this whole engagement/pregnancy thing and Jake was just caught up in it. I just don't have the answers. Hell, I don't even know how to find them," I replied.

"This is bullshit! What the fuck is wrong with him?! I know I didn't know him as long as Emmett or even Alice, but he suckered us all. What a fuckin' liar! If I ever see him, I'll kill him and rip his balls off!" I smiled inwardly, lucky to have someone to shoulder the emotion that I couldn't right now. I loved that even though Jake broke my heart and ruined our relationship, each of my friends had drastically different reactions. Where I was just sad and hurt, Rosalie was pissed and wanted blood, while Alice tried to be rational and look towards the future.

While sitting in the sand, Rose and I continued to talk shit about Leah and Jake. When Alice and I first returned from Vegas, I invited Rosalie over and showed her exactly what I found. She immediately wanted to confront Jake and physically punish him, i.e., death by torture from the Amazon Princess. From that point on we've become closer. Through this calamity, the 3 of us girls have become some sort of trio.

We parted ways, in the early evening, and I drove home, concentrating on what costume I should choose for the party. I still had no idea what I wanted to be. When I arrived back at the apartment, I walked in on something that I probably was not supposed to see.

"What the hell is going on?" I yelled out, laughing over the music, to my roommate and her boyfriend, who happened to be standing on a box half dressed, while Alice was pinning the fabric to him.

"Hi, doll", Alice giggled and Jasper just rolled his eyes. "I'm just finishing up Jas' costume. Want to see the whole thing?"

"Darlin', really?" Jasper gave Alice a pained looked, like he's been her mannequin for hours. She just continued to giggle.

"Please Babe?" She asked sweetly, batting her eyes at him. "It looks so good all together!"

"Alright, I'll bite, what are your guys' costumes?" I finally asked. Jasper had gone into Alice's room.

"I am so excited about it! We are going as Alice and the Mad Hatter – alternate dimension-y. You know like Malice in Wonderland, rather."

"That is insane and amazing in one. How did you make the Mad Hatter crazier than he is?"

"Like this," Jasper interrupted. He was wearing a half finished black suit jacket, with a patterned purple and green handkerchief poking out of the pocket. He also had a giant, flowy bow wrapped around his collar. On his head was an oversized top hat.

"Oh, um, Jas," I began, but couldn't hold in the giggles. "Where are your pants?"

"Oh my God! I'm not wearing pants?" Jasper put his hands up to his face, reminiscent of that Home Alone kid. He was just standing in our living room in his boxers.

"Yes, yes, yes, we all know how amazing you are without pants," Alice smirked. "I'm not done with his costume yet. I was finishing the seams for the trousers."

"Al, what does yours look like?" I was trying to catch my breath from laughing so hard.

"It's going to be super hot. It's a short, black dress that flares just a bit, covered by a white corset, apron thing. I got a long, black wig, that I need to re-style, and a red ribbon. I also got these high black screw me shoes."

I just laughed and left them to finish Jasper's costume, heading to my room. Lying on the bed I drifted into my mind, thinking of everything and nothing, eventually falling asleep with my clothes on.

"Bella!" I groaned. The knocking continued on my door.

"Yeah." Alice's head popped in.

"Get up! It's almost 9, don't you have class today?"

"I just have work at 2. Shouldn't you be at class?"

"I don't have Monday classes, silly. Get up then! Let's go costume shopping for you."

We left the apartment not long after that. We took Alice's car and she drove us around the city. We tried coming up with costume ideas. She gave suggestions, I refused, I gave suggestions, and she scrunched her nose. It was a horrible debate. I welcomed the nonsense of the conversation. When we finally ended up at a huge Halloween store, I wandered up and down the aisles – they were filled naughty nurses, vampy vampires, slutty witches and nearly naked cops. I was noticing a trend in sexed out costumes. I sighed. I really didn't want to wear next to nothing. I finally ended up in the "historic" costumes – princess gowns, renaissance gowns, togas, and Egyptian gowns. Then I finally saw it – a beautiful, off-white gown, tons of fabric, a tight bodice, with three-quarter inch bell sleeves with ruffles. I was going to be Christine. I just needed a Phantom.

"Alice! I found it!" I shouted to her. "Al?"

"What'd you find?" She was running towards me. I held out the dress to her. She nodded her head and a smile broke out. "Yes! Bella, you'd make an amazing Christine! I know exactly how we can do your hair too!"

"I'm totally inspired now. We need to hit a vintage store, I want to see if I can find one of those velvet hooded capes." I joined in on Alice's excitement.

The next week passed slowly and the party was upon us. Luckily, Alice and Rosalie took the lead on the finishing touches. I had no idea how the club turned out or what food was being served. I spent the last week or so, concentrating on my costume and finding accessories. I threw myself into this project, while still checking daily on _them_. Not much as changed, no new discoveries. I was running out of avenues that I could investigate.

"What time are we leaving?" I called out to Alice, who was already getting her costume together.

"Jas is on his way. Em and Rose will meet us around 8; they're going to pick up my parents. So we should be ready around 7? Is your hair ready to curl?"

"Okay. Yup, it's ready." Alice skipped over to my room, with her hair slicked back, ready for her wig, curlers in hand. She quickly set my hair and left to do her makeup. I started on mine. I decided on a deep smoky eye, keeping a pale complexion and glossy lips. I heard a knock on the door and let Jasper in. He wasn't dressed yet.

"Hey Jas, where's your costume?"

"Hey, you. Alice wanted to make sure everything looked right, so she asked me to wait until I got here." We both laughed. Alice appeared, wearing only a black corset top, matching garter set with black and white checkered thigh-highs. Her makeup was beautifully dark, with her lips a deep shade of red.

"Jas!" She leapt at him.

"Darlin'." Jasper wrapped her in his long arms, kissing her as he lifted her off of the floor.

"Let's get dressed!" They took off to her room and I went to mine to finish my hair. I turned the stereo on.

After finishing my makeup, I began to undo the curlers, sending tons of ringlets down my back. I pinned it, half up, half down, in a complex do, thanks to the how-to viral videos on the internet. I looked in the mirror after putting the dress on and was actually a little pleased at the result. I was pushed in all the right places, with a tight bodice and straight across, low cut top. The cape, that I spent the last week searching for, covered my shoulders and dress, and I carefully placed the hood upon my head. An hour later, we were all ready. I walked out into living room to find Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee waiting for me.

"Alice! You guys look amazing!" They really did. Alice's costume was much more complicated and intricate than she first described it. She looked so tragic and very non-Disney. The red ribbon she had tied in her straight long black haired wig, made her seem innocent, but her high, black patent 'screw me shoes' and tight black dress, helped offset that. She really made Jasper's costume come together. His face was painted white with dark makeup around his eyes, highlighting his cheekbones. He was also wearing red contacts.

"We're late, we're late for a very important date!" Alice chirped. "It's time to go!"

We took Jasper's Bronco and drove to Hollywood. I was actually excited for tonight, but at the same time, hesitant and nostalgic. It was a fun ride, though, people honked at us when we stopped at red lights. I thought Hollywood was full of crazies before, but Halloween brought them out in droves. I saw a group of Bill Clintons, skanky referee girls, girls dressed up like hookers – or I think those were actual hookers. Alice and I giggled the whole way there. I don't know how we didn't drive Jasper crazy.

We pulled up to the club, valet'd his truck (of course) and Alice and I were helped out of the car. There was a line of costumed freaks behind a velvet rope that extended down the street. Alice walked up to the bouncer and he let us through, as if we were famous. I pulled the hood off of my head and walked in. I felt like I was in that part of a movie when the mist dissipates, or the crowd opens up, revealing a beautiful scene. There was actual fog inside, the music pumping and lights were pulsating. I was in total awe of the interior. It was very dark, filled with cobwebs, spiders, black table cloths, and purple satin hung from the ceiling.

Alice led Jasper and I up the winding staircase, away from the dance floor and the crowd. The area we had to ourselves was amazing – oversized blood red velvet couches, a fully stocked bar with a vampire bartender – who eerily resembled a 19th Century vampire, and a small space for a dance floor. We were first greeted by Alice's parents, who were dressed as Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler. After hugs and hellos, Rosalie and Emmett, walked towards us from the bar, as Cleopatra and Marc Antony – togas and all. I noticed that they walked away from four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; these had to be Emmett's friends. They each had a girl dressed like April, in yellow jumpsuits. I finally took in Emmett's costume and burst out laughing.

"Em! Rose got you to wear a skirt? That's awesome!" I teased him mercilessly.

"This is NOT a skirt. This is a toga praetexta. It was common attire among the Romans, ain't that right, Babe?" He asked his Egyptian dressed girlfriend. Rosalie looked like a movie star; sporting a blunt cut, shoulder length, black wig and exotic eye makeup that made her crystal blue eyes shine bright.

"That's right, hon. See you guys, there's more to him than muscles," emphasizing the sound of the 'c' as she jabbed him in the ribs. We all just laughed and hugged them both. Everyone began exchanging compliments of each other's costumes.

"What are you supposed to be, small fry?" Emmett asked, but before I could answer, he yelled over his shoulder. "Eddie, I think I found your muse!"

I peered around him, just in time to see a tall man with an unmistakable shade of bronze hair, in a sort of disarray, dressed in a beautiful tuxedo, with the mask of the phantom covering half of his face. I did not see him when we arrived. Our eyes briefly met, but I quickly looked back at Emmett. There was nowhere for me to hide. _This _was their cousin?

"So I see," he answered in a deep, velvet, almost raspy voice and walked towards me. "Hello, I'm –

"Ed-die! Where'd you go?" A terribly squeaky voice pierced through the music and our group. I saw running up behind him, one of those hookers Alice and I saw on the street earlier. I mean, I have no idea what she was supposed to be. Her blonde hair was completely teased, 80's style and pinned up on one side. Her white, lacy dress, what there was of it, was reminiscent of Like a Virgin Madonna, but way shorter and more see through – a little too see through. Her makeup was even worse – lots of frosted colors and she drew a mole above her lip. She was pretty, but I could tell she was trying to hard to capture her boyfriend's attention.

I could see Alice's cousin's body tense as she wrapped herself around his arm. Unclasping my cape, I wandered over the bar, spoke briefly to Dracula, and downed a shot, or 2 or 3, just to calm my nerves. After having a bit of liquid courage, I walked over to the balcony and watched the dancing crowd below, drowning out the conversations behind me and listening to the DJ. I was angry with myself for being jealous of everyone being paired up. Of course he belonged to someone too, why wouldn't he? Why did I care? I'm in no position to look for a boyfriend. I don't even know the guy, and I'm already claiming him. My head was starting to hurt. I started twirling a ringlet around my finger, swaying to the music, and lost in my own world, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Um, hi. I'm sorry about earlier. I'm Edward. Cullen. Alice and Emmett's cousin." He brought up his hand to shake mine and I couldn't look away from his piercing green eyes. He'd taken off his mask and I finally got a real look at him. He had a beautifully sculpted face, with high cheekbones and a genuine smile. His hair, once again, really caught my attention, it really was all over the place and I felt the impulse to run my fingers through it. He was lean, but not bony, from what I could tell. He was almost a foot taller than me. Edward radiated masculinity, like he could kick some ass, but also be a gentleman – but appearances can be deceiving, or was this the tequila talking?

"Uh, hey. Bella. Me." I stuttered out. Brilliant Bella. Just brilliant. He laughed a little.

"So, you came as Christine Daae. That's pretty original." He smiled at me; it was almost crooked in a way. So he wasn't so perfect after all, but damn, it was sexy. Shut up, Bella.

"Well, I could say the same thing about yours." I laughed. Wasn't alcohol supposed make a person confident?

"I actually threw this together at the last minute. I've had the music in my head the last couple of days and I had this tux lying around from a concert I participated in a couple of years ago." He knew Phantom of the Opera? Concert? What instrument does he play? Why wouldn't any of these sentences come out?

"What about your girlfriend? You guys didn't go for the matchy match theme like everyone else?" Gesturing to my friends. I tried hard to be witty, but I think failed miserably. God, why does this have to be so hard? I know how to talk. I need another drink.

"Um, no. Actually, I didn't know she would be wearing that." He laughed. God, what a great laugh. "That was Jessica. We work together and I needed someone to attend this shin dig with, since my original date canceled at the last minute. It's really nice to see my family together, though. I mean, I see Emmett a lot, but not Alice or my aunt and uncle."

I could hear the sadness in his beautiful voice, but all I could do was nod. Good job, Bella, asking about his supposed girlfriend, but now I wondered who he was originally going to bring. I need to stop. Couldn't come up with anything else, eh? This isn't Jake.

Of course, just thinking his name brought everything to the front of my mind. Dammit. He's not here. This handsome man is paying attention to me and all I wanted was my Jake. I could feel my eyes starting to well up. I blinked them away.

"Would you like something to drink?" I nodded again. I had nothing to say. He was attractive. But I was me – broken. I didn't even want him. I missed Jake so much at that moment. Edward walked away and returned with 2 glasses of champagne. That was mighty gentlemanly, but I needed something stronger.

"Thanks." That was the last word we exchanged before Emmett interrupted and swooped him away. I was completely relieved, but also a little sad that I couldn't keep talking to him. I was such a mess. Of all the times for my talking ability to fail. That hasn't happened before. I downed my glass and returned to the bar for the tequila. I was one classy broad.

My friends, sans Edward and his 'date', joined me, moments later. Alice arranged for the bartender to produce shots in vials that were smoking. We did a couple of rounds and everyone was in a fit of giggles. Emmett's friends, the turtles, were hilarious. I felt like I was in a daze and watching a party, rather than participating.

I left the VIP areas for a bit and worked my way downstairs to where the hundred or so guests that we had invited were partying. I ran into a couple of classmates, and saw a ton of people I didn't know. I almost decked a guy who wouldn't get out of my face. As I passed the larger dance floor, I caught Edward's eye. They were dancing, well he was dancing, but I had no idea what she was doing. It looked like Jessica was 'vogue-ing'. I started giggling, with images of "The Wedding Singer" flashing in my mind, and shot him a sympathetic look. He beckoned for me to come save him, but his action put me at stand still and I quickly glanced around for an escape. I located the restroom and ran.

Inside the stall, I just stood behind the locked door, trying to calm my erratically beating heart. Why did this stranger evoke such a strong reaction in me? I didn't want this. He was all wrong. His hair should be long and dark, and his skin should be bronze. I felt like I was the one betraying Jake right now. I needed to get a grip on myself. That man said maybe three words to me and I was acting like we were on a date or something. That rationale calmed me. I walked out and took a look in the mirror, my hair was falling out of the pins, my makeup was smudged around my eyes, and I was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol I consumed. I quickly wiped my face and threw my hair into a ponytail. I wanted to go home.

I made my way back upstairs, not bothering to look at the dance floor. Everyone was in their corners or up against each other on the dance floor. The Aprils were passed out on the couches and the turtles were still at the bar.

"Alice." I found her wrapped up in Jasper's arms, her wig slightly a skewed. "I want to go home. I'm gonna catch a cab."

"Huh, Bel? What?" She was suddenly alert. "What's wrong? You can't take a cab back, it's far. Besides, we have rooms across the way."

"Alice, I can't. Really." I could feel my eyes starting to water and I was almost ready to let them fall, when a new voice entered the conversation.

"Ali, I can take Bella home," Edward graciously offered. "Emmett told me about your girls' apartment and it's on the way to Jessica's. I need to drop her off as well. She's completely hammered."

"Edward, you don't have to do that," I started. "I can make my way home."

"I insist. It's much too late for you to be wandering around L.A.," he answered. Edward was a protector.

"Bel, let him take you home. It'll make me feel better, especially if you won't stay." Alice said pleading to me. She shook Jasper a little, who was nodding off.

"Alright, ok. Can we please go now?" I looked to Edward who nodded and left. I went over to get my cape and wrapped it around myself like a security blanket and took my heels off. I said my goodbyes to whoever was still awake and made my way downstairs, where I met Edward, carrying Jessica, who was completely shitfaced. I held the door open as the valet pulled a truck around. He placed her in the backseat of his beautiful black four-door truck, tinted windows, and large chrome wheels. This was a great truck. I was in awe. He then helped me get into the passenger side. When he got in, Edward pulled his music player out and handed it to me. I was grateful for this distraction. I had never been in another man's car alone, well sort of alone, that wasn't Jake's. This felt comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.

"You don't mind me looking through your music?" I asked tentatively. I knew people who were pretty private with their collections. I knew this because I was like that.

"Not at all. Play whatever you like." He answered. "Um, could you point me to the direction of your house?"

"Oh! Yes, sorry." I laughed softly. "Make a left at the next light and we'll grab the freeway."

I started scrolling through the vast collection he had on his player. I actually found one of my favorite bands listed, with every album they've made. I just hit play all. The guitars and drums filled the truck cab, followed by the soft, raspy voice of the lead singer. I sighed contently because this was first time, I had been able to hear this band without wanting to burst into tears or hyperventilate.

"You like them?" Edward broke the silence as the second song started. "I don't know a lot of people who even know who they are."

"This is my most favorite band in the entire world," I answered, smiling at him. He looked like he was about to say something.

Suddenly, Jessica sat up, interrupting any sort of conversation that would have started. She was more coherent than she was 10 minutes ago, chattering away at the wonderful time 'Eddie' and her had. She made sure to catch my eye when she said this; reminding me of that awful dream I had weeks back with Leah, Jake and the meadow. I stayed silent, only speaking to give directions. Edward said nothing the entire ride back to my place.

Before we turned onto my street, my ears had enough of Jessica's yapping, my heart hurt for Jake, and the truck felt very cramped. I wanted to go to bed. Out of the blue, I suddenly was aware when _that _song started and I almost had a fucking heart attack. It was Jake's and mine's song. I hadn't even thought of that song in the last month, and suddenly the opening chords started. Edward stopped the truck in front of my place and I bolted out of the door, not letting him follow me. I thanked him and told him that he didn't need to walk me to my door. He still had Jessica to take home. I closed the door quickly and made it through the courtyard when the tears began flowing down my face.

I entered the dark apartment and walked towards my room, stripping off the confining costume. I washed my face, which was streaked black from my tears. I made a decision, with thoughts of hope. I texted him.

_OMG. tonite's halloween party was amazing. so much 2 drnkk. a grt prty! - b_

Sent 11/1 12:45 a.m.

Then I sent another one immediately after.

_oh, sorry._ _i thought i had texted alice. i've had a lot to drnk. - b _

Sent 11/1 12:46 a.m.

I turned off my phone, not wanting to see if anything would happen, and got into bed. For once, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke the next day, after realizing I had a horrific hangover, I wondered what the hell happened the night before. I suddenly remembered the stupid texts I sent to Jake.

I reached for my phone, turned it on and saw I had a text message. It was blinking at me. My heart stopped. I opened it slowly.

_its okay. never apologize for texting me._ _– j_

11/1 10:00 a.m.

I looked at the time – it was after eleven. I wrote him back.

_can we talk soon? u owe me that much. – b_

Sent 11/1 11:05 a.m.

I waited then walked over to the bathroom. When I came back, there was another message waiting.

_yes – j_

11/1 11:07 a.m.

I almost fell off the bed. My breathing hitched. He wrote back. He wrote back to _me!_ What now? All these weeks of brilliant arguments in my head and now I had nothing. I had no idea where to go from here. I suddenly became so nervous. I knew this man, I knew everything about him, or so I thought, and now I didn't have a clue what to say.

I got out of bed and took a very hot shower. I drowned out my struggling thoughts by singing as loud as I could. By the time I was done, I felt a little better. I hid my phone under a pillow, so I didn't have to see any unwanted messages, but then I remembered the party and leaving. I turned up the ringer volume on my cell and went to the kitchen to make some lunch. I hoped we had some aspirin for my throbbing headache.

My phone rang, and I froze and felt relief when Alice's name popped up.

"Hey." I greeted her.

"Hi, Bel. How are you feeling this morning?" Alice's voice lacked her normally chipper mood.

"I have a raging headache right now and I had a really long night," running the words together at the end.

"Me too. Jas is still asleep. Actually I think everyone's barely waking up, well except my responsible parents, who were up at 8 having breakfast and were so thoughtful to include us kids, but Rose and Jas were able noticeably absent."

"Oh no!" I laughed.

"Yup, I've been up since then. But we're all having dinner tonight with my parents at Em's around six. Do you want Jasper and I to pick you up?"

"Um, is it really necessary for me to go tonight?" I was so focused on my texts that I needed time to strategize.

"Bella! You have to go! You are family." Alice was very stern. I knew there was no way I could get out of it.

"Okay, okay. I'll be there. I'll meet you there." I told her.

"Great! We'll see you then. I'll call you later. I think I'm gonna grab a nap before we have to leave."

"'K, bye." I hung up.

The rest of the day, I busied myself cleaning up from last night. I got ready for tonight's dinner. My mind was almost bursting with thoughts of talking to Jake. My hopefulness of maybe being able to fix this situation, radiated off of me. I dressed in a strapless black empire styled dress that flared out and tied in the back. It flowed a little past my knees that I paired with strappy black heels that tied around my ankles. I straightened and styled my hair into a low side pony tail. I finished up with some jewelry and makeup.

It took a couple of tries before the engine would start. I think it was time to start looking for a new car. It would take some time to get to the beach where Emmett lived, so I made my way, listening to music and singing along. As I coasted down Highway One, winding along the beach, the sky began to change from a bright blue to hues of orange and yellow. Twilight was approaching as I reached Emmett's beachfront home. It was a beautiful 2-story home with wide white wood siding wrapping around the entire structure, with lots of windows.

I was relieved to see I wasn't the first one to arrive. When I knocked on the door I was greeted by the smiling faces of the Brandon family. Everyone was dressed to the nines. The men were all clad in handsome dark suits, Alice was in a deep purple cocktail dress, Rose dressed in a burgundy halter dress and Mrs. Brandon was in a beautiful floor length forest green dress. Alice handed me a glass of champagne and we all fell into our own circles of conversations.

The wall facing the ocean was completely covered by floor to ceiling windows. Outside was a large wooden deck that I wanted to sit out on. I was staring out at the blackened ocean when I heard a knock on the door.

"Edward!" Alice's mom exclaimed. Under the pretense of staring at the view, I was able to catch the scene behind me through their reflections and was welcomed by the sight of Edward in a beautifully tailored dark gray suit - very stylish. His hair was in that same organized disarray as the night before and he wore a genuine smile. I didn't fail to notice he came alone.

"Hi, Auntie." He kissed her cheek and handed her a bottle of wine. He greeted everyone and I turned to wave at him. Thankfully, he didn't walk over to where I was.

"Alright, kids, now that we're all here, let's sit down to eat!" It was hilarious having Alice's mom host, it was like watching a grown up Alice. Her and her mom shared similar personalities. There was a bountiful spread set on the table, complete with candles and a beautiful tablecloth, laced with gold accents.

The mood of the evening was light and filled with laughter. Alice even set place cards on the dining room table. The 8 of us were paired up and I ended up sitting next to Edward. I became a little nervous and resumed my old habit of twisting my ring around – but I realized I didn't have a ring to twist anymore. I stretched out my left and noticed the bright white line left on my hand from the years I wore my ring. I sighed and took another sip of champagne. I felt like I had eyes staring at me, but everyone was laughing, eating and telling stories. I turned to my left and saw Edward had quickly looked away.

"Edward, how are the plans for the store coming along?" Alice asked. My interest was piqued.

"It's going. I found the location a couple of months back and am in the middle of renovating it. I have a great interior decorator who's helping theme it just right. Furniture and the inventory have been ordered." Edward excitedly explained his new venture and I found myself blurting out a question.

"What kind of store are you opening?" I almost threw my hand over my mouth. Edward turned his attention towards me and actually answered the question.

"It's a music store. But not just any music store. I'm going to have all kinds of music available – rarities, B sides, current and past releases, commercial, mainstream and indie. There'll also be vinyl available. So it's sort of eclectic. I know with the digital age upon us, CDs and the old forms of music are become passé, but I still believe people want to physically buy music, especially the rare stuff." I was genuinely impressed.

"Wow. That's amazing!" It was. Edward's smile grew at my compliment. "I think that's a great idea! When do you open?"

"Well, there's still a lot to do. I have most of what I need on order, so hopefully in January."

"Do you have a name for it yet?" I was so engrossed in our conversation; I didn't know notice that everyone was silent as they listened to our exchange.

"I'm playing around with a couple of names, either The Music Note or Miscellaneous Music or The Music Box. I'm not sure yet," he answered.

We all continued chatting about Edward's business and I was able to enjoy the company of Alice's family and my friends without thinking of anything but the present. It was sort of a relief. Alice's mom brought out dessert of strawberry shortcake. Afterwards, we broke up into little groups, with Jasper, Rose and Emmett retreating into the living room, while Alice and Edward stayed in the kitchen with her parents. I decided to sneak out onto the deck. It turned into a chilly evening but the cold mist filled night, revived me a bit. I breathed in the salt filled air. I could hear Emmett's booming laughter, echoed by Rose's boisterous one. I laughed to myself. The sky was completely cloudless and I could see the constellations

My mind retreated into itself and I wondered about Jake. I remembered a night that was similar to this so many moons ago.

_The night before I left for Los Angeles, Jake and I spent the night at the First Beach. Jake came up with the idea of us spending our last night together camping on the beach. I was both elated and saddened. We left in the early afternoon, set up camp and just enjoyed each other's company. As the evening approached, Jake started a campfire and we made a simple dinner, talking and reminiscing about our year together and our future._

"_Babe?" Jake murmured into my hair, as I snuggled back into his chest, staring at the fire. I loved sitting against him with his strong arms around me. _

"_Hmm?" I answered, not looking away from the crackling fire. _

"_I love you." He whispered in my ear. "Always."_

_Silent tears started flowing down my face. How could I leave this? We'd been together for over a year and the love I felt for this man was so powerful, I knew it was forever. I suddenly didn't want to move to California. I tried not to shake as my crying became more desperate._

"_Babe? Wha-?" Jake turned my face, wiping the tears off my face. "Baby, don't cry."_

"_I can't help it," I cried. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you."_

"_Shh," he soothed me with his voice. The husky whisper made me whimper. "Everything will work out. It always does. We'll be fine. I love you so much."_

_He kissed my neck. He turned my face towards him and kissed the corners of my eyes, my nose, my mouth and finally my forehead. Placing a solitary kiss on my forehead was my favorite spot for him to kiss. It instantly calmed me down. He grazed my mouth again, working his hands across my back. I eagerly kissed him back, making new memories for myself. I tugged on his ponytail, working my hands onto his neck, down his chest. I couldn't speak and I didn't want to break our rhythm. We were so in sync with each other and I could only hear the sound of the crashing waves and our moans of pleasure. _

_Jake broke the kiss, first and I pouted at the separation. I wanted to be with him as long as I could before I had to drive to California. _

"_I'm just going to put out the fire," he said. I let go of his hand first. "Why don't you go in the tent, and I'll be there in a second."_

_I nodded, I couldn't speak. I got up slowly, never taking my eyes off of his body. I memorized his features. He was wearing a blue plaid flannel button down, jeans and his Docs. His hair was pulled into a ponytail and I could see the fire reflect off of his dark eyes. I watched his muscles tense as he poured water and sand over it. I retreated towards the entrance of the tent, not wanting to break sight of him. Our camp plunged into darkness and I could only make out his shadow. There was no moon out, only stars to light up the sky. _

_I felt him make his way towards me. I inhaled his scent, burning it into my memory. His arms snaked around me. _

"_You didn't have to wait for me," Jake whispered. _

"_I wanted to," I whispered back. We made our way into our tent, removing our shoes at the zipped up entrance. I felt safe in our little cocoon. The outside world disappeared in that one moment. We didn't have sleeping bags, but rather, pillows and blankets made up our bed. _

_Jake guided me to our blankets, not bothering to turn on the lamp. He towered over me, his hand ghosting the side of my face. I could barely make out his face, but it didn't matter, I knew what I was looking at. I mimicked his actions. He began kissing me, passionately. He made his way down my neck, to the collar of my hooded sweatshirt. He stopped, pulling it over my head, taking my t-shirt with it. I was left with only my bra on. _

_His hands lightly caressed my chest, moving the straps down, as he kissed my shoulders. His mouth made his way to the center of my chest. I moaned at his touch, my hands grasped his shoulders, gathering his shirt, so I could pull it off. I needed to feel him on me. _

_His shoulders were tense and firm as I ran my nails down his back. He sighed with pleasure at my touch. Jake pulled me close, lifting me up to unhook my bra. As I laid back down, he turned his attention to my breasts, massaging them, and lightly kissing them. I groaned. I wrapped my legs around his waist, desperate to feel him. _

_He moaned my name, as our jeans created the friction I desired. My hands made their way to the front of his pants and I unbuttoned them, and pushed them off with my feet. Jake's hands removed mine in one motion. The heat between us was intense as our passion grew. He stilled above me, staring into my eyes. I grabbed his face and kissed him deeply. _

"_I will love you forever," I said, a little above a whisper._

"_I love you, my Isabella," he replied. He slipped into me at that moment, sending my body into a frenzy. We moved in one fluid motion. The intensity grew and I was overcome with such emotion, I cried out his name, the tears flowing. He came right after, screaming out my name in the moment. _

_He wrapped his arms around me, trying to calm me down, whispering sweetness. I continued to cry. I could hear Jake choke up a little too. I think we both realized the impending separation. Eventually the ocean lulled us to sleep, with me in his arms. _

Two tears silently escaped down my face, ripping me from my thoughts. I wiped them away and sighed. I heard the screen door open and close. I turned to find Edward standing by the door.

"Bella? I just wanted to say bye. I have an early meeting in the morning." He didn't move towards me.

"Oh, okay. It was nice seeing you again, Edward." I sniffled lightly. Dammit, I hope he didn't hear that. "Um, good luck with the store."

"Is everything okay?" Shit, he heard that. "You were out here for awhile, but Alice told us not to disturb you."

"Yes. Everything's fine. Thanks." I replied. I didn't need him knowing this part of me.

"Okay, well good night then, Bella." He did a half wave and I saw, disappointment? Maybe? I don't know.

"Drive safe, Edward."

Edward left and I decided it was time for me to take my leave as well. I walked inside, thanked Alice's mom for the fabulous dinner and hugged everyone. Alice hugged me the longest and walked me outside.

"Are you alright?" She inquired.

"Yes and no," I answered her. "Jake and I were sort of texting today."

"What?!" She practically yelled. "What happened?"

"Well last night," I began. "I 'accidently' texted him, hoping he'd write back. Well he did. I told him I wanted to talk to him and he said we could. I've been thinking all day, how to approach this. So, I've sort of been in a daze since this morning."

"Wow." That's all Alice said. I think we were both a little stumped as to what to do. "Jas and I are gonna stay here tonight, but I'll be home tomorrow and we can brainstorm?"

"Sure," I replied. I hugged her and got into the truck, which started, thankfully.

I made my way home, my brain bombarded with images of would-be scenarios of my "talk" with Jake – the angry, vindictive speech or the sad, broken one or the silent, let him talk. Like I needed more things to think about. It was going to be a long night.


	5. Pilgrims and Indians

**[Chapter 5: Pilgrims and Indians]**

A/N: Characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Drama belongs to me – it really does

I spent the week, after Alice's dinner party, dialing Jake's number, but never let the call go through. There were several texts saved to my phone and three emails sitting in my outbox. I was such a chicken shit and severely lacked the courage to confront him. Why was this so hard? I dated this man for over four years and now I was at a loss with words.

As Thanksgiving approached, phones calls from my dad became more frequent – almost daily. So far, I'd been lucky in deflecting his requests for me to be home for the holiday week. I planned on staying in L.A., while my friends flew home. I couldn't make myself go back to Forks. The hurt was just too real. Alice had already booked hers, Jasper's, Emmett's and Rosalie's plane tickets. To avoid spending time in the apartment, I found ways to work longer hours at the museum and attended every class. It was hard dodging Alice's endless attempts to discuss purchasing my plane ticket.

My head was inundated with conflicting thoughts. Because I hadn't spoken to Jake in almost two months, I fabricated confrontations with drastically different outcomes. There was the sad one, where we both cried in each other's arms; the angry one, where he confirmed the worst and the defensive one that was reminiscent of our last phone call. I even imagined _her _arguing with me. My obsession with the internet continued to consume my life. My laptop never left my side and I studied every detail on the wedding site, every picture that was updated on her profile. _Her_ pictures captivated my attention and I wanted to see more. My curiosity was going to kill me. In each photo, it was Jake's face that I focused on. He looked like my Jake, normal, dressed in his casual style, but something was off in his expression. I couldn't pinpoint it, but I knew he didn't look right.

My cell rang and disrupted this sick cycle that whirled around in my head. It was my dad and debated if I should answer or not.

"Hi, Dad," I said trying to be cheerful.

"Hey there, kiddo." He replied. "I wanted to finalize the plans for Thanksgiving. What day are you flying in?"

"Aw, Dad, I don't know," I trailed off. "I have midterms and projects due. I thought about staying down here and maybe come back for Christmas."

"Isabella Marie, this is a traditional American Holiday and you will come home to celebrate it with your family," he insisted. I've never heard my dad outwardly so passionate about a turkey dinner. He was never one for any type of history, but if there was a good ol' American holiday, he celebrated it. "You will be on a flight and I will be picking you up at the airport."

"Da-ad…" I groaned. How could I tell him that it was too painful to come home? Since my return to Forks, five years ago, our holidays were always spent with the Blacks. I wasn't in any mood to even attempt to cook a turkey again. I hadn't cooked one since that one Christmas when Jake proposed to me. As I remembered that night, I could feel the tears forming. I blinked them away.

"Bella. The subject's closed." He paused. "So what else is goin' on?"

"Fine, Dad. Everything's peachy. But I think the truck's ready to crap out." I stated, hoping to change the subject. I knew I lost the battle of avoiding Forks.

"What's wrong with it?" My dad was immediately interested in fixing my stupid truck.

"It won't start anymore. It takes two to three times to get the engine to turn over." I really needed to look at getting a new car.

"Hmm. Well maybe I can get Ja-" My dad suddenly stopped. "Um, we can talk about it when you come home."

"Uh, okay. Well I gotta go, Dad. I have some errands to run." That was the end of our conversation.

After we hung up, I left my room in search of Alice. She was going to be thrilled with my homebound news. I found her sitting cross legged on the couch, with her art supplies strewn about. She was wearing her self proclaimed "arts and crafts" uniform. I once asked why she owned a worn, paint, glue, and glitter covered t-shirt, but she would merely wink at me. She'd had this shirt since we were in high school and always wore it with shorts – today it was black cotton shorts. I think it belonged to Jasper at one point. It was a gray, Dallas Cowboys t-shirt, but the logo was long worn away.

Alice wore the most concentrated look as she meticulously cut something out with tiny scissors. She had put a movie on, and I wasn't paying much attention to it, but someone was talking about a pencil and a magic trick.

"Hey, Al?" Her face lost the intensity and looked up at me. I suddenly burst into giggles.

"What?" She half narrowed her eyes at me.

"You have a letter stuck to your cheek." I walked over and picked it off of her face. "What are you doing?"

"Oh!" Alice peeled the letter off, laughing all the while. "I printed out the pictures from the party and was sorting out all my scrapbook stuff, seeing if I have anything Halloween related."

"You took pictures?" I asked her, surprised.

"Yup!" She said smugly, handing me the stack. "I have some awesome pictures of us taking shots. There's a great one with Em carrying Rose over his shoulder. She looked pissed. I think he made her spill her drink or something. I also took a lot of candids, not really posed ones."

I sifted through the stack and found one of me with my back to the camera, looking out from the balcony, and my curls cascading down my back. Then there was one of Edward talking to me. It was our profiles. We both looked so engrossed in the conversation. I lingered on that one the longest. As I looked through the rest, there were great shots of everyone, just drinking and falling over each other.

"What are you up to today?" Alice asked, as I handed the pictures back to her.

"Well," I started slowly. "I need to book my flight home for Thanksgiving."

"Bella!" Alice shrieked. I brought my hands up to my ears. "You're coming home!?"

"Yeah" I replied, not so enthusiastically, I might add. "I couldn't weasel out of it. My dad called me and wouldn't take no for an answer. So now, since I waited so long to book a flight, I'm scared to even look at how much it's going to be."

Instead of replying to me directly, Alice was bouncing up and down on the couch, like she was about to burst with new gossip and dying to share. I gave her a questioning look and cocked my head to the side.

"Bella!" She practically yelled again. "Don't worry about booking your ticket. I already got yours. We're all leaving the Sunday before Thanksgiving."

"What?!" I retorted. "You did what? Mary Alice Brandon, you've been scheming again."

She cringed at the sound of her full name. Alice never went by her first name. She always felt she wasn't a 'Mary'. She never let anyone call her by it either. I first heard her full name the day her mother discovered the living room drapes were removed and turned into a dress. Alice had been so frustrated that she didn't have anything to wear, and didn't have time to hit the mall before a date with Jasper. I helped; well actually, I watched the entire fiasco that ensued when her mother came home and noticed her drapes, which were specially ordered from Paris, were gone. They were a beautiful shade of green that Alice had sewn into a 50's style dress, paired with a wrap and flats. It complimented her ivory complexion and jet black hair.

"Wha-at?" She said in mock surprise. "I was thinking ahead. We can't leave you alone for the holiday. Besides, I know how rough it's going to be for you and I'll only be down the road. Maybe you and your dad could join us for dinner?"

"Oh, Al." I threw my arms around her. "I love you. And thanks. Just let me know what I owe you."

She nodded and hugged me back. I sat next to her, and started to watch the movie she had on.

"Hey, Bel?" Alice asked."Did you ever talk to Jake?"

"Nope." I replied. "I can't do it. I have so much to say and I think I'm scared. Scared of what he's going to say. I don't want him to confirm anything. I pray every night that she's not pregnant. I'm more concerned about that than him actually screwing around. How can he have a kid, that's not mine?"

"Oh, honey." She said sympathetically. "I honestly don't know what to tell you. Part of me says, don't even waste your energy, while the other part says hunt his ass down until he cracks."

"Well, that's better than where I'm at." I told her and got up. "Okay. Fuck. I'm gonna go email him."

I left Alice to her scrapbooking and walked back to my room. After closing the door, I opened the laptop and anxiously stared at the screen. What the hell, I thought. Come on, Swan, grow a pair. What do you have to be afraid of? You're the one he lied to! It was easier said than done. I logged into my profile and shot him a message. I really needed to find out what his profile name meant in English, not that mine was any better.

_To: K'wati_

_From: Swanster_

_Subject: Call Me_

_Hey, I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. Maybe we can get together and talk?_

_Let me know._

_Me_

I didn't think twice and hit send.

Every day after that, I checked my own profile. No response from Jake. Finally, almost a week later, he wrote back. I nearly dropped the laptop out of my lap.

_To: Swanster_

_From: K'wati_

_Subject: Re: Call Me_

_Hi. I'm still going out of town with my dad and will be gone the whole week. I'll call you when I get back. _

_I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. _

_J_

Are you fucking kidding me? This was important. Well important to me anyway. I wrote him back just for the hell of it.

_To: K'wati_

_From: Swanster_

_Subject: Re: Re: Call Me_

_Ok. Well have a good trip then. Happy Thanksgiving. _

_Me_

I stopped checking my profile for new messages after that. The rest of the week I concentrated on completing a couple of papers for school that needed to get turned in before I left for home. Alice diligently prepared for our trip by shopping, which thankfully, she did without me, since I had no desire to hit the mall. Every night, she came home with a bag or two and I would just laugh. Her suitcase was also packed and ready to go. I, of course, waited until the last possible minute to organize my clothes and suitcase.

The day we were to fly home, Alice was my wake up call.

"Bel? We've got 20 minutes until Em picks us up. Jas is here." She called.

"Okay!" I replied and stretched out on the bed. I got up and dressed in black cotton lounge pants and a matching zip up hoodie. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and threw on my black Uggs. I stuffed my beanie and scarf into my carry on and grabbed my thick down coat.

"Morning!" I said to Jasper and Alice. They were cuddled up on the couch, watching the Weather Channel. "What's the weather like at home?"

"Cold and rainy!" Alice said. "It's perfect fall weather!"

"The weatherman said it'll be in the high forties with a good chance of rain." Jasper threw in. He was already dressed for snow, made complete by a leather cap with ear flaps.

"Rain, huh? What a surprise." I laughed, knowing no matter what time of year we go visit our families, it rains.

I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a Pop-Tart package. I was about to open it, when I heard our buzzer to the gate. Alice let Rosalie and Emmett in.

"It's time to go, kids! Shut the TV off, turn the lights off and grab your bags." Emmett greeted us loudly. I felt like my dad showed up because he started organizing us with last minute travel details.

"But, Da-ad," I pretended to whine and stomped my feet a little. "I want to eat my Pop-Tart."

"Take it with you, but do not eat it in my car." He actually looked serious. I giggled and hugged Rosalie.

Jasper and Emmett carried out our bags in one trip, while Alice flitted around the apartment, making sure lights were off and electronics were unplugged. Rose and I waited patiently by the door.

"Emmett! Where's Edward?!" Alice suddenly screeched across the courtyard, as I locked the door. She was pretty flustered and I had no idea why. I didn't even know Edward was even joining us. I exchanged a look with Rosalie and we both shrugged.

"Hey, Em, where did this car come from?" I asked, as we approached a metallic dark gray Tahoe with huge chrome wheels. Usually Emmett drove a restored forest green 1946 Woody Wagon. It was the perfect vintage looking surf ride.

"I can't leave my baby at the airport for a week!" He said. His voice full of concern for his 'baby'. Rosalie pretended to stick her finger down her throat and rolled her eyes at him. "Besides, you all won't fit."

"Emmett Brandon!" Alice yelled and she was much closer than she was a minute ago. "Where is our cousin? You were supposed to pick him up before you came here."

"Alice," Emmett started to say, looking down at his little sister in all seriousness. "I don't know where Eddie is. I haven't talked to him. I left him a couple of messages, but he didn't call back. I figured it was safer to be on time getting you guys, than waiting around for Mr. Johnny-come-lately.

"Darlin', don't get yourself all worked up." Jasper said, rubbing Alice's shoulders from behind.

"I know, but he's throwing off my schedule. Besides, our tickets are together. He knew we were all going together." Alice was starting to get upset.

"Al, is Edward usually super punctual?" I asked. Rosalie was already getting herself situated in the front seat, while Emmett rearranged the luggage in the rear.

"No. Actually, he's late to just about everything. Always." She answered. Jasper and her climbed into the back seat, and I sat in the middle bench.

"Babe," Rosalie called out to Emmett, pointing to the clock. "We gotta get goin'."

We all took our places in the Tahoe, and Emmett put on the radio. Alice called Edward repeatedly, but to no avail. We sat in typical L.A. traffic, going a mere twenty-five miles an hour down the constantly congested 405 freeway. It was a nightmare. The morning show we were listening to on a rock station kept us thoroughly entertained, as they read inane celebrity news. Almost two hours later, we finally reached the airport. It never ceased to amaze me how close we lived near the airport and how long it took to get there.

As we checked in at the counter, Edward still had not arrived and Alice became more anxious and hopped from one foot to the other. I tried not to giggle as Emmett made faces behind her and imitated a released jack in the box.

"I see that Em." Alice suddenly said, without turning around and Jasper burst out laughing. Rose and I exchanged silent giggles, while Emmett shrugged, bringing up his hands in surrender.

After we received our tickets, we walked the expansive terminal to the long security lines. Emmett quietly made horrible airline jokes and inappropriate comments. Rose kept elbowing him to shut up, but he was so amused with himself. Everyone was acting so weird this morning and I got lost in the bizarreness that was my group of friends.

We made our way towards the metal detectors, and proceeded to take our shoes off. Alice went first. She glided through effortlessly and Jasper followed next. He beeped and looked surprised. Security immediately asked him to step aside.

"You know who you got there?" Emmett's loud voice carried and one of the security agents looked back at us.

"Be quiet, Emmett!" Rose hissed and clamped her hand over his mouth. He actually listened and didn't utter another word.

They patted Jasper down and he was cleared. The rest of us managed to not sound off any alarms. After we reached our gate, each of us took a seat or sat on the floor. I chose the latter, with my back to one of the seats and pulled out my iPod and notebook. I drowned out Alice's nervous chatter and started writing. I concentrated solely on my thoughts.

I didn't know how much time had passed, when Alice tapped me on the shoulder and told me it was time to board the plane. I looked at her worried face and realized Edward never showed up.

"Where's Edward?" I asked her. She shrugged and was about to open her mouth when we heard yelling.

"ALICE!" Everyone in the terminal turned and I saw Edward sprinting towards us. Alice stood defiantly with her hands on her hips, and gave Edward a chastising look of 'where have you been?'

"I'm sorry guys. I completely overslept." Edward was red and out of breath, his chest noticeably rising and falling. I also noticed that his hair was in a complete disarray. "I've been at the store late the last week tying up loose ends and on top of that my phone died."

Oh please, I thought. Where I have heard that before? I just shook my head and got in line ahead of Rose and Emmett.

Since I was in the lead, I took the window seat and didn't care what our assigned seat numbers were. Emmett sat by the window on the opposite side of the plane, with Rose in tow. Jasper sat next to her. Edward ended up sitting next to me, so Alice could sit across the aisle from Jasper.

I was so tired and anxious to get off of the ground. I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and found some calming music. I glanced over to my friends who all chattered away with each other, probably listening to Edward's tale. I rummaged through my bag until I found my notebook and continued to finish what I was writing earlier. As I re-read my notes, the seemingly random thoughts had actually created a very hurt filled, angry letter to Jake. I was so engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't even notice I had fallen asleep until I heard the captain announcing our descent. I also found myself leaning comfortably on Edward's shoulder.

"Oh!" I gasped, mortified. He kept his laughter in and shrugged at me.

"It's okay." He stated, closing the book he had been reading.

I straightened up and tried to get situated. I noticed my notebook was wide open, like I left it, and my sweatshirt was only partially covering it. My initial thought was, had Edward seen what I wrote? Followed by, I fell asleep on my best friend's cousin, whom I hardly knew. That would probably be more embarrassing. As I was over thinking again, Edward filled the silence.

"What were you listening to?" He asked casually.

I turned to him, getting comfortable in my tiny airplane seat and told him what I had currently playing. It was one of my calmer playlists that was a cross between pop and opera.

"That's an interesting choice," he mused.

"It's calming. Since a lot of the songs are either in Spanish or Italian, I listen to the melody. It's soothing to me, especially when it gets really dramatic." I rambled on. Edward just listened and nodded. He went on to name some of his favorite artists and songs. He listened to everything from rock to hip hop. I arched my eyebrow at him.

"What?" He laughed at my curious look. "I really do like hip hop. No one ever believes me."

"Oh no, I do believe you, that's the best part." I laughed loudly. I felt more like myself than I had in days. Edward was so easy to talk to, especially about non-sensical things. I loved that our conversations had been on the light side. I saw Alice turn her attention away from Jasper and glance at us.

"So how's the store coming?" I asked, after I could catch my breath.

"It's insane. I never realized how much stuff needed to be done, and it's all things that need to fall into place before we even fill it with inventory and open." He rubbed his tired face as he explained. "I found a great location on a boulevard, so there's a lot of foot traffic, with locals and tourists, but I had to negotiate with the owner of the building, and that took forever. Now I'm setting up contractors to gut the interior. Emmett volunteered to help and I told him no."

"Hey!" Another voice interrupted our conversation. "Don't forget, I offered at almost no cost too!"

"Yeah, I know." Edward responded flatly, shaking his head, while all of us were cracking up. "But, Em, you don't have any construction background for one. And two, I don't want the building to fall down."

"I wouldn't knock the building down," Emmett replied. "Well not at first."

We continued to talk about Edward's plans for the store until the plane landed and we clamored off to retrieve our luggage. The weather in Seattle was cold and rainy and I could only imagine it was probably colder in Forks. Emmett went off to the car rental counter. I put on my warm coat, beanie and scarf, as did everyone else. While we walked over to the rented SUV, I slipped backwards on the slick pavement and gave a shriek. I braced myself for the ground, but a pair of arms saved me from behind.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

"Shit. Yes. Thanks." I managed to get out. He released me and I turned to look at him with a straight face. "I thought these stupid boots were supposed to have some kind of traction on them. Don't farmers in Australia wear these or something? They sure as hell cost enough."

He laughed at my sarcasm. We kept walking, with him taking my suitcase and rolled it with his. Just as I was getting comfortable in the very back of the SUV, I glanced around the car to where everyone was seated. Edward scooted in next to me, with Alice and Jasper in the middle seat and Rosalie, of course, took the front seat. Emmett interrupted our chatter and quieted us down. He was actually wearing one of those old taxi driver caps.

"Good Afternoon, ladies and gentleman," he began, very tour guide like. "Thank you for choosing to ride the Emmett Express. This is a first class company that offers a first class experience -"

"You would know all about that, huh Rose?" I interrupted, laughing and snorting in the process. Rosalie narrowed her eyes at me in a joking matter and everyone erupted in giggles.

"That's right. All for my babe." Emmett interjected, pulling Rose into a headlock. "Now please, I need to finish these announcements before we hit the road for our three hour tour of the surrounding forest. There will be no yelling, no running up and down the aisles, and I will only be stopping at designated stops. Please keep your arm and legs inside the vehicle at all times. Remain seated please. Permanecer sentados por favor."

Our laughter grew louder at Emmett's perfect Spanish as his voice deepened to mimic that famous line. As we pulled away from the airport, Alice's excitement to be home was contagious. Emmett, Jasper and Edward talked only about how much food they were going to eat and the fact that their parents and relatives will constantly be feeding them. The conversation flowed into the holiday plans, and thankfully no one asked me what mine were. It turned out that Edward's parents were going to join Alice's family for Thanksgiving and Jasper was going to have two dinners this year. Rose and Emmett usually switched off holidays and this time it was his turn.

As we ventured further away from the bustling streets of Seattle, the forests of Washington began to loom around us. The winding highway was flanked by large trees, rocks, mountains, and just green. The clouds were low in the sky and there was a constant drizzle. When we finally turned onto the familiar highway to Forks, I was hit with nostalgia of my life before college. Everything reminded me of Jake and of who I used to be. In the back of my mind, I could clearly hear his voice, laughing at something I had once said. Thank God, my house was the first stop.

Emmett finally pulled in front of my house. As I got out, he helped retrieve my suitcase from the trunk.

"I'll call you later!" Alice yelled from the window. She still had her ear muffs on her head. I nodded and waved at the five arms that were waving at me. After the car disappeared down the road, the silence was deafening. I felt like I was dropped off from school and soon, I would be getting ready for a date. I felt seventeen again. I sighed and turned toward the front door and let myself in. The interior of the house looked exactly the same. My dad wasn't home yet and for that I was grateful. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.

I trudged upstairs to my old bedroom and opened the door. I gasped and burst into tears. What was once a sanctuary to me became a tomb of memories. There were pictures of Jake and I placed ever so carefully and intentional – us at prom, at the beach, at Alice's, and on vacation. Even mementos were out in the open – Jake's high school ring that I used to wear on a chain, the dried corsage from a dance we went to. The bright yellow walls that were usually so open and inviting, made me feel stifled. I sat on the floor against the bed and just cried. The tears I had kept at bay for the last month or so were unleashed.

I pulled out my cell and found Alice's number in the address book. I hoped she answered. I hiccupped and sniffed.

"Hello?" An unfamiliar voice asked. Not only unfamiliar, but male.

"Um, is Alice there?" I asked in a shaky voice, and hiccupped again. Why was a man answering her cell?

"Bella? Is that you?" Who was this?

"Yeah, who's this?" I said warily.

"Oh, sorry. It's Edward." I almost died from embarrassment when he said his name. I glanced down at my phone and saw that I dialed her house. "Are you alright?"

"No." I blurted out and quickly tried to recover. He must think I'm nuts. "Yes, can you please get Alice?"

I heard him yell for Alice. I waited, taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself down.

"Bel?" Her voice was so comforting to me, that I burst into tears all over again. "What's wrong?"

"I came up to my room," I sniffed. "Everything's the same – the pictures, our stuff, everything. I completely forgot. I can't do it, Al. I can't do this anymore. Everywhere I go, it's him. I'm so confused."

"Oh, Bella, sweetie." She said sadly. "I'm so sorry. I didn't even think of that. I can come over, if you need me to. I can help you with whatever you need."

"No, no, no it's okay." I said quickly. "I just needed to hear your reassuring voice. I'm gonna put this shit away. I'll call you later."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything." We hung up after that.

I got off the floor and wiped my face. I looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes were rimmed red. I went to my closet and pulled out a smaller Jake and Bella Box. I opened the lid and was greeted with Jake's messy writing on the inside of it. I sighed and pulled the photos off the bulletin board, cleared off my dresser and book case. The framed pictures were set on top and I carefully placed the dried flowers in a pocket created by the frames. I went to my dresser and Jake's old high school football t-shirt was folded neatly in the drawer. I put it up to my face and smelled it. It didn't smell like him anymore and that was the one thing I wanted. I kept it here to sleep in. When I was home, I would make him wear it at least once. I hesitantly packed it away, slowly, not wanting to let go.

I closed the lid to the bulging box and placed it in the closet again, hiding it under some blankets. I washed up in the bathroom, just in time for my dad to get home.

"Bella?" I heard my name. "Are you here?"

"Hi Dad!" I said in my best happy voice. "How are ya?"

I bounded down the stairs and gave him a big hug. I actually clung to him longer than I normally do. I missed him and my mom in that moment. I made a mental note to call her.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asked. I was grateful he had no idea what transpired earlier. "Do you want pizza?

"Sure, that sounds fantastic." I answered. My dad called the local pizza place. "Get mozzarella sticks!"

He laughed as he placed to the order. I got some plates out, napkins and silverware. He went upstairs to change and I made myself comfortable in the TV room, sitting on the comfortable sofa. I put the TV on and searched for something to watch. My dad and I could never find a common show to watch. We usually ended up watching whatever he wanted. As my dad walked back down the stairs, the doorbell rang. It was the pizza. I got up and took the pizza while my dad paid the delivery boy.

I placed the pizza on the counter and pulled out two beers. My dad joined me and made his plate as I stuffed a cheese stick in my mouth, with some cheese getting stuck on my chin.

"Hot!" I yelled out with my mouth full of cheese. "It's so freakin' hot!"

"Honey, you do this every time." My dad laughed at me. "You need to let those things cool before you eat fried cheese."

I playfully glared at my dad, as he handed me the cold beer. I gulped down what seemed like half of the bottle. I followed him back to the TV room and we took our usual spots on the couch. We found a movie already playing and watched that while talking about our day.

"Where'd you go today?" I asked. My dad had enjoyed my story telling about Edward's tardiness, Alice's impatience and Emmett's tour guide skills.

"I went up to Billy's to watch the football game," he said slowly, gauging my reaction. I didn't know my dad still spoke to him, but why not? They had been friends since high school. I didn't say anything and nodded.

"Wait a minute." I interrupted myself, since no one was speaking. "Didn't Billy leave on his trip?"

"What trip?" My dad asked me.

"To Canada. Isn't he going to Canada? With Jake?" I rambled on. Forgetting the fortress I built in even mentioning Jake's name.

"Bel, what are you talking about? Billy's not going to Canada. At least he hasn't mentioned anything." Talk about a confused face.

"I guess I must have heard wrong." I was livid and confused. More lies. Will they end? "Um, I'm gonna go clean up and head up to bed. I'm really tired. Time change and all."

I winked at my dad and he rolled his eyes at my horrible joke. I threw my plate away, finished my beer and put the pizza in the fridge. I walked upstairs and immediately called Rosalie.

"Did I catch you at a bad time? Are you riding the Emmett Express?" I giggled into the phone.

"No, dummy, if I was, I wouldn't be answering the phone." She snapped back, giggling. I distinctly heard a 'hey' in the background that sounded like Emmett. "What's up? I know you didn't call me to make fun of Em's and my sex life."

"I might have, but you are right." I took a breath and relayed the entire story of the email exchanges, the trip to Canada, and my dad hanging out with Billy today.

"What the fuck?!" Rose yelled into the phone. "This is fucking retarded. I am picking you up in the morning and we are going over there. Fuck this waiting around bullshit! We are getting you answers! I will claw his eyes out and aaaahhh!"

Rosalie was so pissed that she couldn't even finish. My eyes widened at her temper. I knew it was there. I'd never experienced it first hand, but only had heard the horror stories from Emmett. We narrowed down the time she would pick me up and we exchanged goodbyes. Her anger gave me confidence. I ate it up, hoping it would last. I needed it, craved it, even.

As I got ready for bed, I decided to take some much needed cold medicine to knock me out. I woke the next morning feeling good that I didn't dream anything. I rolled out of bed and got dressed in a black hooded sweatshirt, and tucked my jeans into my boots. I brushed and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I finished getting ready and glanced out the window and saw the entire street was completely engulfed in fog.

I went downstairs, and saw that my dad left me a note letting me know he went to work and he would see me later. I quickly ate a bowl of cereal and waited for Rose. Minutes later I heard her honk. She was driving Emmett's rental.

"Well, well, well did we steal this?" I playfully asked my pink beanie wearing friend. The rest of her was dressed head to toe in black – a black knit hoodie, leggings and black boots to match.

"I just told Em we had a mission and I had to dress the part." She smirked at me. I laughed.

We drove out to the reservation and the closer we got, the more my stomach knotted up.

"Let's turn around." I announced suddenly. We had been listening to the radio, but never really discussed a game plan.

"No! Bella you need answers. You deserve them." Rosalie said matter of factly. "You are not in the wrong. You were a great girlfriend. The least he or his dad can do is shed some light."

"Ack. You are right." I replied truthfully.

We arrived at the Blacks' small house and I desperately wished it was for a better reason. Rose parked the car and I led the way to the porch. I knocked quietly, praying no one was home. Unfortunately, the door opened and I was greeted by the surprised face of Billy Black.

"Uh, hey Billy." I shyly greeted him as if I just met him.

"Bella," he replied, peering around me to Rosalie, who stood behind me on the steps. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Jake." I answered trying to sound adamant. "Where is he?"

"I'm sorry Bella. Jake went out of town. The shop he's been working at partnered with another body shop in Seattle and they're offering some kind of certification." Billy sounded unsure, but didn't reveal anything further. I just listened.

"Would it be alright if I got some of my things out of his room?" I asked suddenly. Something wasn't right.

"Didn't Jake tell you?" His face quite serious. "He moved out three weeks ago with Quil. They got a new place together.

"Oh, um, no, he hadn't mentioned anything." I managed to get out. "Do you know where they are living?

"Not really," he replied. "I just haven't had a chance to see it yet."

"Oh. Okay." I glanced at Rosalie who was ready to explode, as she moved towards us. Her eyes were narrowed into slits and she was throwing daggers at Billy. I grabbed her arm and said my goodbyes to Billy. Rose was about to say something when I yanked her towards the car.

"What the hell?!" She shrieked, not really at me, but to the house, as we jumped back in the car. "What the hell is wrong with this family?! They are so stupid!"

Rosalie sped out of the reservation, as fast as she could without attracting a cop's attention, not that I was worried. I couldn't say anything. I was at a loss for words. He's living with Quil now? I decided to text Quil. Jake and him had been friends for as long as I could remember. They used to call each other by nicknames, _'há-du_' and '_ka-dí_', which I guess translated into big and little brother in their language. They were inseparable. We had all become really good friends.

I let Rosalie rant while I sent him the text.

_hey. i have a quick question_

Sent 11/23 11:45 a.m.

_shoot_

Sent 11/23 11:45 a.m.

_do u know what has happened to me and jake?_

Sent 11/23 11:46 a.m.

_no_

Sent 11/23 11:46 a.m.

I was a little shocked at his answer. I glanced at Rosalie who paused enough to hear the constant buzzing from my phone.

_jake's cheating on me with someone and i can't get a hold of him. Is he living with u? do u know anything?_

Sent 11/23 11:48 a.m.

I waited and waited. He didn't answer back. We pulled up to Alice's house and I gave Rose my phone so she could see the text exchange I had. Her eyes darkened with anger. It buzzed again and she handed it back to me.

_i'm sorry_

Sent 11/23 12:05 p.m.

"WHAT?!" I screeched, the tears threatening to spill over. "What the fuck is going on? Does he think this is some kind of game?"

Rose didn't say anything, but grabbed my hand and stormed through the door, and took my phone from me.

"Alice!" Rose yelled above the movie that the boys and she were watching. The soundtrack was pulsating throughout the house and they all turned to face us. The volume immediately decreased. "Upstairs, now!"

Alice gracefully leapt up and over the couch. I saw Emmett about to say something from the smirk on his face, but Rose shot him a look that could wilt a flower. I tried not to catch any of their eyes as they stared at us. Alice led the way upstairs to her room. I silently sat on the floor against the wall facing the girls, while Alice and Rosalie sat across from each other on the bed.

Rosalie recounted the morning, leaving nothing out and I just stared at their exchange. All I could see was Billy's shocked face. Rosalie's frustrated yell broke my thoughts.

"He moved out!" She said loudly. "He moved out and his dad doesn't know where he moved to?! How big is that fucking reservation anyway? How do you let your kid move and not know where? Bella, did Quil write back to you?"

"I can't take it!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. "I can't do this anymore!"

Alice and Rosalie stared at me. I heard the loud footsteps of men running down the hall. Emmett and Jasper crashed through the door almost at the same time and Edward awkwardly stayed back. He seemed to be debating on whether he should be there or not. I was mortified that the boys heard me. I never expected to share directly with Emmett and Jasper, assuming Rose and Alice would fill them in. But now, even Edward had sort of joined our little group and I had hoped he wouldn't know anything if I could help it. The boys all wore the look of concern and confusion.

I decided to tell everyone the full story once and for all. Emmett and Jasper sat by their girlfriends, and I gestured to Edward to come in. I stood up and paced the floor. I started from the beginning and nervously twisted the non-existent ring on my left hand. I told them about finding the photos, the wedding website, the supposed pregnancy and Jake's avoidance of the entire situation. I even told them about the day before in my room. I continued on with what happened this morning and finished with the text exchanges. Everyone stayed silent the entire time I spoke. I didn't make eye contact with anyone and either stared at my hands or out the window.

When I finally looked at my friends, they each reacted differently and started talking over each other. Emmett and Rosalie were pissed off. Alice was between anger and rationality. Jasper was trying to keep the peace and calm everyone down. I didn't even bother to look at Edward. He probably thought I was crazy anyway and what did that matter? The room was chaotic and claustrophobic and I had to get out. No one noticed my swift departure.

I slipped away, exiting the house onto the second story deck that overlooked the river and vast mountain range. It was now late in the afternoon, close to the twilight hour. I sat on one of the lounge chairs and just stared into the darkening forest across the wide river. I closed my eyes for a bit. I must have drifted because when I woke, the sun was almost done setting. The clouds had parted for the time being and the stars were starting to make an appearance. My mind wandered to a dangerous place in my past - the first time Jake said 'I love you' to me. Damn my head. Of all things to remember.

_It was a late night, in June, when Jake picked me up. Junior year was over and I was looking forward to the upcoming summer. We drove out towards the reservation to the cliffs of La Push, to a small park. I was wearing a long sleeved thermal and jeans, not very warm for Washington weather, no matter what time of year. Jake was bundled in his blue high school hooded sweatshirt and jeans. _

_He took my hand and led me to the slide. I was shocked at the immense amount of stars that lit up the night sky. It reminded me of times when my mom would wake me in the middle of the night to go stargazing when the weather was just right._

_He scooted up the bottom of the slide and I sat between his legs with his arms wrapped around me. He nuzzled my neck and I giggled at the touch. We sat like that for awhile, just talking, laughing and kissing. His kisses were always amazing. They took my breath away. I shivered a little. _

"_Babe, you want my sweatshirt?" he asked. I shook my head, but he was already taking it off. I grabbed it._

"_You're not getting this back, you know that right?" I giggled as I stood and put it on and embraced the immense amount of fabric that engulfed me and smelled exactly like him._

"_Yup. Keep it. It's yours." He waited for me to sit back down. This time he leaned back a little taking me with him. He started to point out constellations to me and passing satellites. He played with my hands and my hair. I could hear the loud crashing of the waves in the distance, as well as, the quiet of the surrounding forest. _

"_Bella?" Jake interrupted the silence that had settled between us. _

"_Hmm?" I lazily answered. _

"_I need to tell you something." He started in a low voice. I sat up alert and panicked. I twisted my body to him, with my widened eyes. "It's not bad, relax. Well I don't think it's bad."_

_I arched an eyebrow at him and narrowed my eyes just a bit. _

"_I just wanted to tell you that the last three months have been amazing." His husky voice filled my ears. I smiled at him. "You are the perfect person for me and I'm so happy that you've come into my life."_

_He paused and took in a breath. The suspense was killing me. _

"_I love you." His eyes met mine. I gasped a little. No one had ever said that to me before that wasn't a relative and I was overcome with euphoria. _

"_Oh, Baby." I threw my arms around him and without a second thought I knew I felt the same. "I love you too!"_

_He smiled widely at me and wrapped me in his arms. _

I cried at this memory. I didn't sob or hiccup, but the tears silently rolled down my face. I was so confused. I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to go home. I just needed to get out of here. I closed my eyes, took some breaths to calm my erratically beating heart. Suddenly it felt like someone sitting near me. I heard that someone clear their throat. I turned to my right and saw Edward was sitting on the chair next to mine. I hadn't heard the door open.

"Shit." I gasped in surprise and promptly shut my mouth. He smirked at me and didn't say anything. Finally I decided to break the silence. "Why do we always seem to run into each other like this? So, um, hi. What are you doing out here?"

Edward laughed at my comment. "I thought I should come and find you. Everyone is still talking about what happened. Emmett is making a list of a hundred ways to dismember your ex-boyfriend."

I cringed at the word 'ex'. I never, in my head or out loud, called Jake my ex. I couldn't stop the two tears that escaped and rolled down my face. I went to wipe them away, when Edward beat me to it. I cleared my throat and sat up.

"Well, um," I began, not sure I wanted to even pursue talking about this anymore, especially with him. "Isn't the view breathtaking?"

"Yeah" He agreed. "You can see so many more stars here than you can in L.A., unless you drive out to someplace remote."

"That is true. I was reading up on Yosemite National Park and I heard the sky looks amazing at night. I love trying to find constellations, even though I really don't know how to identify them. I like hearing the myths more so." I responded.

"Have you been to the Observatory?" Edward asked me. I nodded.

"I love that place, especially the planetarium. It's so corny, but I enjoy it."

We continued to talk for a bit longer and the temperature began to drop even more, but the night sky remained clear as can be and I wished for once my head could be like that.

"Do you think you can give me a ride home?" I asked suddenly. I needed to get out of there.

"Sure. Let me see if I can borrow Emmett's truck." He got up, but I stopped him before he could walk into the house.

"I'll meet you outside. Tell Alice I'll call her tomorrow." I followed him, taking one last look out in the distance. I walked back through the house and quietly out the front door. I waited for Edward by the SUV and he followed shortly after. The drive to my house was quiet and I played with the radio stations. He laughed quietly when I landed on a hip hop station and hummed along. I welcomed the distraction and ease of being around him.

"Thanks for the ride." I told him as I got out of the car. "I guess I'll see you later. Maybe next time I'll surprise you."

He laughed and winked at me. Was I flirting? What was wrong with me? Edward winked at me. I needed to go lay down. I walked into the house, said hi to my dad and went up to my room. I changed into a pair of pajamas and got into bed. I prayed for easy sleep. I longed for dreamless sleep. Instead I awaken by someone yelling and realized it was coming from me. I clamped my hand over my mouth, sat up and glanced at the clock. It was one in the morning. I groaned and fell back into the pillow. I stared at the ceiling relived the eventful day.

The rest of week passed slowly and I never told my dad that Rosalie and I visited Billy and I guessed Billy didn't share that with my dad either. I met up with everybody for lunch and shopped with Alice and Rose. Our conversations remained light and full of laughter. When we were together, no one brought up the previous day's events and I managed to almost forget about it temporarily. Alice continually insisted we join her family for Thanksgiving dinner, but I was able to convince her that my dad and I wanted to celebrate together. She didn't buy it, but at least my dad did.

I got lucky when I called the local restaurant to order a turkey dinner, they were able to accommodate and deliver it on Thanksgiving Day. It turned out to be a quiet day with football games playing in the background. My mom called and I longed to see her. I had to blink away the tears that were forming when I heard her voice. I missed her so much. We didn't talk about Jake. I desperately wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to bring it up and she didn't ask. She talked about the traveling she had been doing and a pottery class she just started. I laughed when she said this. I promised her that I would visit soon.

I was relieved when it was time to pack up and go home. The rest of our trip passed uneventful. Emmett was picking me up in the afternoon and head for Seattle. I hung out with my dad most of the day. It was easy and relaxing. Around lunch time, I went upstairs to pack my suitcase. As I zipped my suitcase closed, my cell buzzed. I flipped open the phone and froze.

Jake's name popped up on the screen.


	6. Silver and Gold

**[Chapter 6: Silver and Gold]**

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me – it really does.

Just wanted to throw out a quick a/n to you anonymous readers that are reading – thank you.

* * *

My phone blinked impatiently at me. I was frozen. The room was quiet. The clatter of the rain against the roof became deafening. I could hear someone breathing hard and realized it was me. I don't know why nervousness took over. I chastised myself and finally flipped open the phone. All I saw was his name – Jake.

_Hey. I'm back tonight. Can I call you around 8?_

Sent 11/28 12:58 p.m.

Out of habit, I reverted back to the old me – the giddy, madly in love Bella. I quickly wrote back without a second thought.

_sounds good. i'll be home. how was the trip?_

Sent 11/28 12:59 p.m.

_It was cold, but I learned a lot & got that certification._

Sent 11/28 12:59 p.m.

I was about to write back when my cell buzz again.

_And not to sound mushy, but I just thought to tell you that I do miss you. Ok. That's all I won't bother you anymore._

Sent 11/28 1:00 p.m.

In a split second, my heart did a somersault. I forgot reality and reveled in the text. He hadn't shown any type of feeling towards me in so long and I ate those words up. My head began to lie to itself – he was just as miserable as me, alone, Leah wasn't real, the confrontation with Billy was a misunderstanding and Quil's texts weren't relevant. When Jake said he missed me, the drama from the last couple of months was washed away. I texted him a makeshift heart.

With a smile on my face and hope in my heart, I finished packing and cleaned up my room. Some time later, I heard a honk and my friends were waiting outside the house, ready to head to the airport. My good mood was still with me as I bounded down the stairs, suitcase in hand.

"Hey, kids!" I yelled happily from the front door.

Alice hopped out of the car, wrapped in a scarf and ear muffs, waving. She had a slightly puzzled look, but quickly shifted her expression. I still caught it, but didn't care. Nothing could kill my good disposition. I turned to my dad and hugged him quickly.

"Fly safe, Bella," he said. His face betrayed the confusion he tried to hide with my sudden change in emotion.

"Bye, Dad. I'll see you at Christmas." I ignored his curious look and placed my beanie on my head. "Love you."

"Love you, kiddo." He replied back.

I turned with my suitcase and rolled it down the walkway. Edward also stepped out of the car and met me as I approached.

"Hey, there!" I smiled at him.

"Hey yourself." He grinned lopsidedly at me. "What has you in such a good mood?"

"Oh! Well, um…" I stopped briefly. For some reason, I didn't want to share the cause of my happiness with anyone, especially with him. "Uh, just excited to get home and see some sun."

He sort of arched his eyebrow, not believing me for a second, but kept his mouth shut and placed my suitcase in the trunk. From the moment, I settled in my seat, the mood in the SUV was light and fun. I greeted everyone and got situated in the last row with Edward next to me. I could feel his curious eyes on me and tried in vain not to meet them.

Alice turned around to face me, accidently swatting Jasper in the process. I giggled as she apologized to him. I almost yelled up to Emmett to ask him what the rules for this trip were, but instead asked Alice for details on her Thanksgiving dinner.

"So, how'd it go?" I inquired.

"I think it was the best one so far! Wouldn't you agree, Em?" Both Alice and Emmett burst out laughing. Everyone, but Rosalie and I joined in. I felt like I missed the punch line.

"Aw, come on, Babe." Emmett took her hand and kissed the back of it. "You know our Thanksgivings are complete disasters. Now you're really one of us!"

"Wait," I interrupted before Rosalie could answer. "What happened? I need stories ASAP."

To my right, Edward laughed.

"Alice, why don't you begin?" He asked in his husky voice.

Alice cleared her throat, with an 'ahem'. She continued to absentmindedly run her fingers though Jasper's hair.

"It all started Thursday morning." She began. "I heard a very loud thump, and a loud 'Fuck!'. I ran into the kitchen and saw the fridge door open, a twenty-five pound turkey on the floor, and Emmett holding his foot with a biscuit in his mouth. I still don't know what he was doing up that early."

"I was hungry and I resent that." He replied. "That was a kamikaze bird that jumped out of nowhere and tried to take my life, foot by foot."

"That bird was protecting the remaining food from your bottomless pit of a stomach." Edward interjected.

"Not you too, Eddie." Emmett said through the rearview mirror. "Wait til we get to your part of the story."

Edward immediately clammed up.

"Babe, defend me, will ya?" Emmett turned his attention to his girlfriend who glared back at him.

"I don't think so. You're on your own, Bub." She retorted.

"I told you a thousand times that I'm sorry about laughing at your crispy, burnt pie." He pleaded to her. Rosalie was about to answer – and I would bet my life that it was something mean.

"Excuse me!" Alice suddenly exclaimed, loudly. "I'm the storyteller here! Anyway, after the turkey attacked my brother, we cleaned up and my mom came down to start the food prep. Later that morning, I was going to begin the pies, when Rose asked if she could make her granny's special apple pie. She looked very domestic with her apron too. Rose put the pies in the bottom oven, while the turkey cooked in the top one. Hours later, when there was half an hour left on the bird, Edward walked in, wrinkled his nose and asked 'what is that smell?' My mom, Rose and I stared at him, and accidently and in unison, said 'excuse me?' He said something smelled like, what did you say Edward? Burnt rubber? He went over to the oven and looked at the beautiful golden turkey. Bella, the thermometer exploded in the turkey! All the red ink leaked out.

My mom nearly screamed and wanted to toss the whole thing out. Chaos erupted in the kitchen and my dad and the boys ran in when they heard us yelling. My mom kept saying that we were all going to get mercury poisoning and die – it was very dramatic. We were all talking over each other. Edward's voice rose above the noise and he called the poison control center. Emmett took the turkey, inspected it and cut off the affected leg. It was all red, like it absorbed the ink. I just watched between my mom, Edward and Em. When Edward ended his call, he claimed the turkey was safe. Apparently food thermometers don't have mercury in them, just alcohol and dye. But my mom wasn't convinced and she asked him the same question three times. Edward called the Poison Control Center again, but handed her the phone.

We were so consumed with the turkey, that I was startled when Rose jumped up and yelled, 'shit me!' I'd never heard that before. She ran to the oven, went to grab the hot pie tin with her bare hands, but I stopped her before she burned herself and handed her the potholders. The pies were, let's just say, Cajun style."

Rosalie nodded solemnly and Emmett placed his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed it soothingly. Alice continued her story while we drove the windy roads to Seattle.

"My mom made us swear on our one legged bird that we were to tell my aunt and uncle that we purchased a 'special' turkey. We thought this was end of our food mishaps, but alas, Auntie Esme almost ate shit, while walking up the driveway. The mashed potato bowl went flying out of her hands and Edward caught it and landed right on his back."

I was in non-stop giggles listening to Alice's story. We finally made it to the airport and the stories were put on pause. As we made our way to our gate, I asked Edward for his story.

"So what's your story, kid?" I asked.

"It's not that funny." He groaned, pulling his beanie off and running his hand through his messy bronze hair.

"Oh come on." I prodded, while nudging his shoulder.

"I'll tell the story." Emmett interjected as he stepped between Edward and I, placing his arms around either side of us.

"Em, really?" Edward sort of pleaded with his cousin.

"Dude, you ended up with mashed potatoes all over your face! Burn!" Emmett replied, rather evilly.

"What?!" I burst out laughing and really couldn't breathe anymore. "You have to tell this story, it involves flying food! Did you deserve it?"

Edward turned to me, playfully narrowing his green eyes and in his velvet, raspy voice said, "Now, why would you think I deserved something like this?"

I was startled by the way his voice garnered my full attention. "Well, for one, I know Alice. You don't provoke her cuz she'll get you back - hard. And two, if Jasper was there, he's her co-conspirator, and helped her pull this off.

I felt pretty smug, telling Edward this and he finally relented. We sat by our gate, waiting to board.

"My mom was asking about the progress of the store," he started. "I was telling her the kind of things that I'm going to sell, you know, like vinyl, CDs, vintage instruments and equipment. But then, I must say, after we'd all started drinking, my sweet little cousin, asked, 'who the hell buys CDs anymore, we're all digital'."

"I didn't mean to say it like that," Alice interrupted as she walked up with coffee and sat with us. "I just meant to say how much the music industry has changed and it came out wrong."

"I know Al," Edward answered. "I don't know how the conversation switched, but it turned into a heated discussion about her favorite band and their relevancy as music gods. The next thing I knew, I heard a gasp, and a glob of mashed potatoes was dripping down my face."

Between Edward's storytelling and Alice's remorseful look, I had to stifle my laughter and just nod at the appropriate pauses.

"Well I needed to defend the greatness of my music idols. Thom is a genius." Alice replied and then lowered her voice. "Besides, it was Jasper's idea to throw food."

"Hey, hey, hey, Darlin'. Don't go blaming your super stealth tactical moves on me." Jasper pulled her close and kissed her head.

"It also didn't help that Emmett burst out laughing and the only thing close to me was the turkey, so I threw a slice at his face." Edward continued and I couldn't hold in my laughter any longer. "Which he ate, by the way."

"You can't waste good red-dye glazed turkey." Emmett responded. "It went well with the blackened apple pie."

"My poor, stupid pie," Rosalie said, shaking her head and lightly laughed. "That's never happened before."

"Wow." It was the only response I could give my friends.

After boarding the plane, the actual time spent in the air seemed really short, with the laughter and stories. The flight attendants ended up shushing us twice. We didn't care but we tried to lower our voices.

We parted from Edward after we gathered our luggage and followed Emmett to his car. When we reached our place, I said goodbye to the remaining travelers and went inside. Jasper went to load Alice's car with their luggage, as she was staying at his place tonight.

"We'll see you later." She told me, still wrapped up in her winter gear and whispered in my ear, as she hugged me goodbye. "I want the story tomorrow".

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." I replied. I still had not told Alice what was going on because I didn't want her or anyone to shatter the carefully crafted reality I had created in my mind.

After they left, I unpacked my suitcase and made a quesadilla, not feeling like cooking anything complicated and waited. I checked the time on my cell, on the microwave, on the cable box, and on the DVD player. I tried to straighten up (not that there was anything to clean). I even thought about going for a run, but I'd never jogged before in my life. I flipped on the TV, but my attention was focused on the anticipation of this one phone call.

A little after eight, my cell rang.

"Hello?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound as awkward as I did in my head.

"Hi, there," a very familiar voice answered.

"Um, hi, how are you? How's the baby?" I blurted out sarcastically.

"Shut up," he half laughed. "There's no baby. What have you been up to?"

"Oh, not much. Just school. I came home for Thanksgiving. What about you?" I didn't mention the drama between his dad and I or the texts with Quil.

"I got a second job, so I've been pretty busy and working a lot."

"Really? Doing what?"

"I'm working at a local market." He replied casually.

"What does this have to do with your shop?" I asked genuinely confused.

"Nothing, it's just extra cash, for parts and stuff," Jake continued, the politeness wearing off. "I moved too! Quil and I found an awesome place. It's great!"

"I didn't know you wanted to move out." I mused, thinking of his dad. "Is it on the reservation?"

"Nope. We moved south to the big city. Vancouver."

"Isn't Vancouver north? In Canada?" I asked.

"No! Not Canada, but towards the Oregon border, across from Portland."

"What the hell is in Vancouver? That's sort of far from La Push."

"I found a great opportunity down south and since Quil was already going to Portland State, I thought it was good move." He replied, defending his decision.

"Wow, you seem really excited about that. Do you think you'll ever come back?" I asked quietly.

"I will soon. We are on a month to month, so I'm temporarily down there." He replied carefully.

The conversation began to flow more easily between the two of us. We never broached the subject of Leah. For a brief moment, it was Jake and Bella. He re-won my heart when he laughed. I missed the sound of his voice so much. We joked and teased and he sounded more like himself and I told him so.

"That's the Jake I know." I giggled into the phone and he laughed.

"I was wondering if we can talk more?" Jake asked hesitantly and added quietly. "I miss you."

"Yes." I answered with conviction. In actuality, I answered two questions, though one was only asked. I quieted that nagging feeling that wanted to unleash anger and confusion. "Do you think we can meet up over the Christmas break and just talk…for real?"

I asked in hopes of…in hopes of what? I didn't know. I couldn't stop the words from spilling from my mouth. I waited patiently for his answer.

"That actually sounds great." He replied. "We can even meet up somewhere and have dinner too."

"Ok. Good." I was excited that something was going to happen and it seemed positive.

"Well, I gotta run." He said. "If you need to get a hold of me, you can call the market."

He rattled off the number. "We'll talk soon."

We hung up the phone. I sighed and lay my head on the pillow. The onslaught of questions bombarded my head: were we going to be okay? Was it all a misunderstanding? How much was truth and how much were lies? My head couldn't rationalize the entire situation.

My thoughts were interrupted when my cell chirped with a text message from Jake. He had taken a picture of himself, grinning into the camera. Under the picture, it said, 'send me one of yourself, so when I call you, your pic will pop up'. My heart jumped. Humans are so fickle – in an instant, I sent him one of me sticking my tongue out.

I spent the rest of the night in a euphoric fog. His words were so easy to believe and my body and soul ached for him. As I got ready for bed, the most awful thought hit me – what about this baby business? It nagged at me and I tried like hell to bury it. I wanted to bask in the glory of what I thought was progress and not decipher everything.

The next morning, Alice walked in the door without so much of a hello and still dressed in her very colorful matching pajama set. Her luggage was close behind.

"Alright, Swan." Her face was intense and her dark blue-gray eyes sparkled. "Spill it!"

"Hello to you Brandon." I replied, throwing a pillow at her from the couch. I was in my black plaid pajama pants and black tank with my hair pulled into a messy bun.

"Oomph." She crashed down next to me. I had already begun my first load of laundry and was watching a movie to pass the time. "I hate laundry."

"I know." I patted her head. We were lucky our apartment came with a washer and dryer. "Go get your piles together."

"Ohhh, I don't want to." She whined. "I'd rather hear what's been going on with you the last couple of days."

As much as I didn't want to tell Alice, I was actually anxious to tell her. I could never keep anything from her. She always either knew beforehand or had the intuition to sense something was afoot. I heard the washer buzz and I got up to load the dryer. Alice went to her room to gather her clothes. When she wandered back into the living room, she sat and waited expectantly.

I looked over at my pajama clad friend with a handkerchief over her short hair and recounted Jake's texts, the phone call and just spilled everything. She was silent and her facial expressions changed rapidly. I couldn't get a good read on her reaction.

"So, I don't know what's going on." I ended the tale and shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know what to say." Alice said thoughtfully. "What happened to all those things you found – the website and their pictures? You can't ignore that, Bel."

I cringed and wanted to scream at her. I didn't really forget – how could I? It was all on my face. But the last couple of days, I was able to forget. Jake was mine. He had called me! I took a breath before I answered her.

"Alice, please." I started, trying to stay calm. "I know this is weird and I'll get to the bottom of it. But if there's anything left, I have try, right? I mean, seriously, what if she IS crazy? What if she is creating all of this madness?"

"Bella," Alice said gently, taking my hand. "He still fucked around with her. He still purposely lied and treated you awful."

My face crumpled and my shoulders sagged. She was right and so objective. It's not that I buried reality, but I forced my instincts and conscience into silence.

"You're right." I said calmly. "Jake says he wants to meet up, but I know in reality, it's probably not going to happen. But what if it does?"

"Be careful. Just remember, it's not the same. He's not the same. We don't even know if we ever really knew him." Alice concluded, so truthfully.

I nodded and unsubtly changed the subject. I couldn't talk about this anymore. I was more confused than ever. The rest of the day was spent filled with laundry and television. I made some popcorn, which was Alice's favorite snack. I got the recipe from my mom from the time she took a cooking class. I decided to call her later and I missed her so much. That evening I was ready to phone her but completely forgot the time zone difference. It was exasperating. I continued the call anyway despite my irritation and left a voicemail.

"Mom, where are you?!" I sighed loudly into the phone. "I hate this three hour time difference. I love you. Bye."

Classes resumed and I had to start getting ready for finals. The new week started without incident and I easily fell back into my school and work routine. I got to talk to my mom a bit, and we made plans for me to visit her for New Year's. My spying on Jake lessened and I was definitely running out of leads. I still looked at Leah's profile, since it seemed like he abandoned his. All of our pictures and my comments were deleted, but I had done the same on mine.

As December got underway, Alice and I decided to throw a holiday party to celebrate the ending of the semester and Christmas. We were going to make this a fancy affair with elegant dresses, suits, wine, a beautiful spread, and lots of red and green. Alice and I spent the next couple of weeks shopping for decorations, and a small Christmas tree. We even bought new outfits. It was very exciting.

Jake and I hadn't spoken much since the phone call. We sporadically texted each other and picked a date before Christmas to meet up. I was supposed to visit my dad before flying out to Florida. Other than those couple of texts, we rarely spoke.

The morning of the party, Alice and I were busy decorating and putting the living room together. Rosalie was coming by later with Emmett and Jasper to hang the twinkle lights she was bringing. The green table cloth looked elegant next to our brightly lit Christmas tree. The food was supposed to arrive around five from a catering company Alice found through some friends. We cleaned our place the night before and were ready for our friends to arrive. The party was on a smaller scale than the Halloween party and consisted of about fifteen of our friends and their dates.

After showering and setting my hair up in curlers, I wrapped it up in a scarf and threw on some black lounge pants and matching hoodie. My cell rang while in the middle of applying foundation.

"Hey there." I said into the phone.

"Hi, Bel." Jake answered solemnly.

"What's the matter?" I asked. My heart started pounding and I could hear Alice singing along to a song in the living room.

"I don't want you to worry –" He didn't finish because I cut him off.

"What?!" I nearly screeched into the phone, but lowered my voice. I didn't want Alice to come running in. "Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Bella," Jake started again, his deep, raspy voice quiet. "I had to go to the emergency room a couple of days ago and they admitted me."

I gasped and my heart continued to race. He continued.

"I had this pain and it wouldn't go away. The doctors found out that I have kidney stones. Bella, please don't tell my dad. I don't want him to worry and I really hate to ask you this. But I need to borrow $650 to help cover the bill. My insurance doesn't kick in for another couple of months. My dad doesn't have the money or I'd ask him. Please? I get paid next week, so I can pay you back."

"Oh my God, Jake." I was torn, but felt I couldn't refuse him. "Um, when do you need it?"

"Can you transfer it into my bank account today?" He asked. "Just let me borrow $300. It should be fine."

"Don't be silly." I countered. "I'll go to the bank and transfer the whole amount. It's fine. I'll leave soon."

"Thanks, Bella." He sounded almost relieved. "I'll talk to you later. The nurse is coming in the room."

"Ok. Take care." I hung up the phone and stared at myself in the mirror. I couldn't believe this turn of events. Jake reached out to me for help. I finished applying my makeup for tonight, which of course included my trademark smoky eye.

"Hey, Al?" I said as I walked out to the living room and I saw that my little friend had straightened her hair into a very sleek look with pin curls in the front. Alice was putting last minute touches to the apartment and checking off a list.

"Hi, Bel." She answered. "Your makeup turned out great! I love the dark colors. We're pretty much ready to go. We just need to pick up some items at the store, like the ice and the beer. Do you think you can go? I'll finish up here and we can get ready. Rose and the boys will be here shortly to hang the lights and get ready too."

"Sure, I can go now." I grabbed my bag and walked over to the truck, all while thinking of Jake and this whole fucked up situation I'm in. I put the keys in the ignition and waited for the loud roar of the engine, but I was greeted clicks instead. Each time I turned that key and pumped the clutch, nothing happened. I ended up hitting the wheel and grunted in exasperation. I got out, slammed the door and threw a flip flop at the truck.

I was yelling at it, not knowing if I was mad at the truck itself or my life. I couldn't differentiate in that moment. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a flash of bronze walking by. I turned my head and saw Edward carrying a garment bag and a box. He trailed behind Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie. Emmett had strands of twinkle lights wrapped around his neck. Jasper, Emmett and Rose all caught my eye and continued the path to the apartment. They'd seen my anger before and knew to let me be. I turned away and put buried my head in my arms as I leaned on the hood of the truck, just breathing.

"What's wrong, Bella?" I heard the husky, velvet voice ask, startling me. Of course it was Edward and of course he surprised me.

"My car won't start." I mumbled from my arms, not looking up. "Again. I think it's really dead this time."

Edward nudged me aside and popped the hood. I looked at my reflection and saw some of my curls had loosened from under my scarf.

"Well from the looks of it, your engine is shot. And see this here, it shouldn't have that corrosion." He said after looking at the engine. "I can take you in my car, if you want?"

"That'd be great," I replied. "I need to hit the bank first before it closes and then the market."

We walked over to where his truck was parked and I had forgotten what a beautiful machine it was. It looked even better in the daylight and the window tint was so dark that you couldn't see inside. It looked like it had just been washed with a fresh coat of wax and the chrome wheels shone bright in the sunlight.

"Your truck's immaculate." I stated getting in the passenger side, which he opened for me. Even the dark, black leather interior was spotless.

"Yeah, thanks." He stated, running his hands through his hair. "This is one of my prized possessions. I probably treat this better than most people."

I laughed and suddenly turned to face him. "You didn't name it, did you?"

Edward looked taken a back at my sudden question and laughed along with me. "Uh, yeah, I did actually."

"Well?" I poked, prodding him to continue. He was just starting the engine. It roared to life and I was jealous my car was such a piece of shit right now. The bass was audible, but the music was low. "Girl or boy?"

"What?" He asked.

"Is your truck a girl or a boy?" I answered seriously.

"Oh!" He continued to laugh. He turned his body halfway towards me to back out of the guest parking space. "It's name is actually Dr. Livingstone, but everyone knows it as Doc. So which bank am I going to?"

I burst out laughing. I loved it instantly. I directed him towards my bank and he asked me what was going on and was it really my truck that pissed me off. I told him about the conversations I had with Jake and the latest request from earlier today. I turned my attention to the windshield, after I caught Edward's jovial expression turn sour at the mention of Jake. His face hardened, his jaw was taught and his lips were set in a hard line. When I finished, he parked the truck, but kept the motor running. No one budged and silence ascended upon us. In the brief times we spent together, it had never been this awkward.

"I don't like this Bella." He finally spoke, turning head towards me, but kept his hands clenched around the top of the black steering wheel with his arms locked. The gray sleeves of his t-shirt shifted a bit and revealed parts of a colorful tattoo that ended at his right elbow. "From what you've said, you can't trust the guy anymore. He's lied to you. He could be having a baby and now he's living in a completely different city? Is he really at the hospital? Why are you still tangled up in this and now giving him money?"

I stared at Edward in disbelief. He ran his left hand through his hair again and caught my glare. He pissed me off. No one had ever spoken to me so blunt like that before. Usually it was the other way around. I didn't even blink when I exploded. "You know what, Edward, fuck off! No one asked for your analysis of what I'm going through!"

I jumped out of the car and slammed the door. I could feel the tears starting to form, which usually happened when I am angry. I stalked towards the entrance and didn't look back. I waited for a teller opened up, trying to control my emotions. A few minutes later, it was my turn and I was able to complete the transfer. As I walked away from the teller's window, I sat in the lobby chairs and tried not to burst into tears. Edward's words cut me to the core. I knew he was right. It seemed that he was my conscience personified. I texted Jake to let him know that he should have the money in his account. He wrote back immediately with a simple thanks and nothing else.

I looked around and instantly cursed to myself – why do banks only have one entrance and exit? I didn't want to go back to the truck and Edward. I wiped my eyes, forgetting I had makeup on. I pulled myself out of the chair and made my way out of the bank. When I reached the door, I half hoped he would have left, but when I saw his truck still parked, I cursed those tinted windows that I loved, since I couldn't make out his shape. I made a rash decision to veer right, but when I made to move away from the entrance, I heard a car door open and Edward called my name.

I turned around and he was walking around the back of his truck. He stopped a short distance away.

"Where are you going?" He asked. When I just stared at him, he continued. "Please get in the truck. I'm sorry for what I said earlier, Bella. It's not my place to judge, but I'm concerned that nothing good will come of this. Please, I still want to take you to the market."

I didn't move or speak to him. I sniffed a little, and he walked closer to me and gently wiped my eyes with the pads of his thumbs. I nodded in defeat and walked to the car. We didn't speak except for directions. When we parked at the market, we each got out and silently walked inside. I was lost in my thoughts and Edward didn't push. I got a cart and led with him following behind.

"Could you, um, get the ice, please?" I asked him suddenly. He nodded and went to the frozen section. I headed towards the liquor. I was still angry at Edward, but understood his protectiveness. I was just worried about Jake and frustrated at this whole situation. I grabbed the beer and headed towards where the ice was. Edward was pulling out two twenty pound bags.

"Do you think that's enough ice?" I asked. I thought maybe we could avoid talking about the fight and my yelling. "Should we get a smaller bag for people to use in their drinks?"

"Sure." He answered and pulled another bag. "Did you get everything you needed?"

"Yup. Let's go." I pushed the cart away.

We carted everything over to the cashier. After we paid and loaded the car, we made it back to the apartment. Along the way we made small talk and kept the subject focused on my truck. Edward asked if I could get the guys to help with the ice and beer. I nodded and started to walk away.

"Edward?" I said, turning back towards him and he looked at me. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. You didn't deserve that. I understand where you're coming from. Even if you don't think I do. You said exactly what the rational side of my head says every day. But my heart is the complete opposite. I have to tread lightly or I'll make myself crazy."

"Oh, Bella." He wrapped me in a quick friendly hug. "I just want you to be okay. Don't worry about it. Go on and get ready."

I smiled and walked into our dazzling apartment. Alice and Rosalie had put the final decorations up – the lights twinkled, the tree sparkled, the food was covered, but set out on the table. It smelled like Christmas. I greeted my friends, who took in my chaotic appearance. I asked Emmett and Jasper to go help Edward. Immediately after leaving, Rose and Alice jumped on me.

"What the hell happened to you?" Rose asked, touching a loose curl that hung limp on my shoulder.

"Bel, are you alright?" Alice asked, with concern.

I looked at both of them and they were dressed to the hilt. Alice channeled Daisy Buchanan from The Great Gatsby, in her 1920's inspired dress. It was a sleeveless black lace covered dress with pale pink underneath. It was cinched right below her waist and tied at the hip by large bow. The skirt continued towards her knees in tiers. She had a couple long strands of pearls adorning it. She had uncurled the pin curls and her hair bounced magnificently. Her makeup was simple with dark red lips. She sort of looked like Betty Boop with her dark hair.

Rosalie was the opposite in her contemporary starlet outfit. Her black satin strapless dress hugged her curves in all the right places with rouching on the bodice. It was short, but the bottom hem angled up towards her left hip. She wore a beautiful diamond choker and sparkly bracelets. Her sun kissed hair cascaded down her back, but the front was intricately braided and twisted in an elegant fashion. She was wearing the highest heels I've ever seen and looked like a model. Her makeup was flawless as usual. Her skills were sought after by movie studios. She interned for one during a summer and her passion grew from there. She didn't get to travel much with the studios, since she was still just starting out and was on the lower end of the mascara wand, so to speak. Thanks to Alice and Rose's makeup tricks, I'd learned so much and am now obsessed with new products.

"Yeah, everything's good." I relayed what happened with the truck and how Edward drove me to the store, leaving out the drama. "I just got frustrated with my truck."

"Well go get cleaned up and I'll help you with your hair." Rosalie stated. "Alice is going to make a batch of appletinis for you!"

The boys came back with the beer and ice. Alice took over commanding the room, as per Alice's rules.

"Alright, we have two hours before guests start showing up." She began. Her black kitten heels click clacked on the hardwood floors as she paced. "I want to do an outfit inspection in one. Boys, you can use my room and bathroom to get ready. Bella's going to change with Rose's assistance. I will be in here finishing up. Okay? Okay."

"Yes, Miss Alice." Rose, Jasper, Emmett and I sickeningly replied in unison. Edward just snickered unaware that we always answered Alice like that when she started with her lists.

I went to my room, shutting the door and removed my smeared makeup. I flipped on the curling iron and let it heat up. I realized it had been awhile since I heard from Jake and I checked my phone for messages – nothing. I threw my phone on the bed, turned on the TV and started the makeup process again.

Rose knocked on my door about a half an hour later and I was just finishing up with some ruby red gloss.

"Are you ready for your hair appointment, dear?" Rose poked her head in.

"Oh yes. Please enter my boudoir. I'll be with you in a second." I answered her obnoxiously.

"Your eyes are popping, Bel." She commented. I changed the colors of eye shadow, so it was more subtle, and focused more on the lashes.

"Thanks." I replied. "I don't know what to do with my hair. If I should pin it or what?"

"Hmmm." Rosalie pondered, walking around my scarf draped head. "Well at least you used the bigger curlers, so they're not tight ringlets. We don't want you looking like Shirley Temple tonight. What are you wearing?"

"This." I pointed to the garment bag, hanging behind the door. "It's new and I've been dying to wear it! The shoes are in that box."

Rose unzipped the bag and smiled. The dress was a red spaghetti strapped dress with a deep sweetheart neckline. It tapered right under the bust line and flared out, stopping mid-thigh. The skirt portion was draped in solid lace with varying shades of red, blending together. The top part of the dress was intricately sewn with lace designs, but the shoes sealed the deal. I found them at a shoe outlet. They were red strappy, thin heeled stilettos that tied at the ankle with a ribbon. I fell in love with them instantly.

"I know what we're going to!" She exclaimed. Rose untied the scarf and started taking the curlers out one by one. It was so relaxing having her hands finger comb out the curls. I knew it was too good to be true when she asked the next question. "So, what's the real story, Bel? I know there's more to than what happened with the truck. I saw Edward's and your faces and I'm sure Alice caught it too."

Rose could always see right through me. I just looked at her through the mirror. She prodded some more and then smirked at me.

"I do have a hot curling iron and I'm not afraid to use it!" I shook my head and stifled a laugh. Taking a deep breath to help calm myself from tearing up, I relayed everything, just like with Alice a couple of weeks ago, but I told her about the money situation and my small argument with Edward. Rosalie didn't bat an eyelash as she wound strands of my hair around the barrel.

"Bella, Edward was right." She stated, but noticed that my shoulders tensed. "He could have said it better, but he's a man. Men do not have a filter. They say exactly what they're thinking. You know Emmett. He blurts things out without thinking. But Bella, you shouldn't have given Jake that money. I'm sorry, it's true. I know you want to fix this, but I think it's pretty clear, things are not what they seem. Is he really living with Quil? His dad doesn't even know where he lives. You still don't have answers about that crazy bitch. Just be careful, Bel. Keep your eyes open. Don't get blinded by his words. It's so easy to want to make things like it was, but I think it's at the point of no return. Not until you get satisfying answers."

"You're right." I said as she sprayed my hair with hairspray. It hung in long, loose ringlets, with a side part. "He was right and the left side of my brain is right, too."

Rosalie helped me finished getting ready and left so I could change. When I emerged from the bedroom, the apartment was finished and my beautiful friends were dressed to the nines. Jasper and Emmett looked dashing in their slacks, button down shirts and ties. Alice was flitting around taking pictures and angling the camera for her self portraits. Music was playing in the background and mistletoe hung in the entryway. Guests were due to arrive very soon and I heard Alice's bedroom door open. Edward walked out wearing a white button down, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and a black vest buttoned up over a tie. His slacks fit him perfectly and on top of his head was a newsboy cap. He looked perfect without a trace of today's tension and his green eyes sparkled.

I helped Alice set out the last trays of food and the mood was light. Emmett took Alice's camera and made us take crazy pictures of each other. We were all giggling and joking around when the first guests arrived. The only words Edward and I exchanged were polite and cordial, but nothing more. I tried to not to focus on him too much or the debates going on in my head, but rather I made an effort to speak to each person entered the apartment. As the evening continued, I heard a knock on the door and was greeted by a beautiful strawberry blonde woman with bright blue eyes. She was wearing a stylish coat and her hair was swept off her face. She smiled at me.

"Hi! I'm Tanya." She stated handing me a bottle of wine. "Merry Christmas."

"Come on in." I answered, stepping to the side. "Thank you. I'm Bella. Welcome, let me take your coat and bag."

"Thanks." She said, shrugging out of her coat. She was dressed flawlessly, in similar fashion to Rosalie. I didn't know who invited her, but she answered my unspoken question. "I hope you don't mind me showing up like this. Edward invited me and we were supposed to ride together, but he called and said he had errands to run."

I almost flinched when she mentioned why he couldn't pick up his date. It was because of me. I searched the room for Edward and saw him talking to some of Emmett's friends. He looked in my direction and I halfheartedly smiled at him.

"No worries, I'm glad you were able to come." I said, smiling at her. "We have food and drinks, so please help yourself. He's over here, come on."

I led her to the couch and Edward stood when he saw his blonde goddess. They greeted each other and he lightly kissed her cheek. I left them to put her coat and things in my room. When I returned, my eyes automatically focused on Edward and Tanya. They were leaning into each other and looked like they were in deep conversation. I walked past them on a mission to get an apple martini.

As I was about to pour the drink, Alice and Jasper came in and started mixing their own.

"Who's that woman?" I asked her in a hushed voice.

"I don't know." She answered back in a whisper. Jasper smirked at our ridiculousness. "But she's beautiful. That's a designer dress she's wearing too. Edward asked me a couple of days ago, if he could bring someone."

"What?!" I immediately lowered my voice. Jasper cleared his throat to alert Alice and I that someone was coming. I poured out the drink into a martini glass and turned around. I saw Edward and his girl.

"Hey, guys." Edward greeted us. Tanya was standing next to him. "I wanted to introduce you formally to Tanya. This is my cousin Alice and her boyfriend Jasper. You already met Bella."

Jasper and Alice shook her hand and I said hello again.

"So, Tanya," Alice began. "I'm so glad you could make it! We always love meeting Edward's friends. Would you like something drink?"

"Thanks, Alice." Tanya replied. "I'm glad I could come too. It's so hard to get out and just relax with my schedule being as hectic as it is."

"What do you?" Jasper chimed in. I felt like an outsider, watching them engage in an easy conversation. I was never any good at blending in like that.

"I'm an interior designer for commercial businesses." She stated, taking a sip of wine that Alice handed her. "The company I work for is based out here, but we have clients in New York and Miami. I travel back and forth between those cities and sometimes am out there for months at a time. It can be exhausting but amazing when a design comes together."

"Tanya's helping me put ideas together for the store." Edward threw in. "My mom gave me a name of one of her contacts and when I phoned the company, I met Tanya."

That was a surprising fact to learn. They were just friends then? That bubble burst when I saw her smile shyly at him. I excused myself and left the kitchen. I pretended to go tend to the food table, leaving the four of them. I wandered around the party, making small talk with everyone. Rosalie now had Alice's camera was taking more pictures of Emmett and his friends. They were playing some game with shots and everyone had gathered around them. It was quite comical. Emmett and Eric, whom I remembered as one of the Ninja Turtles, were in a middle of a standoff of sorts. I reached past Emmett and drank a shot. I smiled at him as I placed the glass face down, saying thanks.

The party continued into the night, with drinking, laughing and stories. One by one our guests trickled out thanking Alice and I for hosting. Edward and Tanya left together. Rose, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I began to clean up the trash and put the remaining food away. Though we were a little tipsy, some of us more than others, we talked about the party and all the antics from the shots game. I went in the hall closet and got some pillows and blankets out for Rose and Emmett. They were staying out in the living room. I wished everyone a good night, went to my room and changed into my pajamas. I literally passed out when my head hit the pillow.

The next day, I woke up confused and hung over. I groaned at the light streaming in. It was almost twelve o'clock in the afternoon. I remembered the party, the shots, the mess and Tanya. She was so nice and genuine. I wished she was the opposite, so it didn't bother me that she was with Edward, or not with him. She was so easy to like and fit with our group's personality.

I got up and went to the kitchen for some water. The apartment was empty and spotless. The living room was back to normal and the kitchen was immaculate. I found a note on the fridge. Alice and Jasper had to run some errands and Rose and Emmett went home.

I thought about Jake and how I hadn't heard from him. I decided to call the hospital he said he was staying at, but realized he hadn't told me which one. I pulled up local hospitals around Vancouver and Portland on the computer, but didn't realize there would be more than a couple. I called each one and all of them stated that no one by the name of Jacob Black had ever been admitted. With each hospital I phoned, I made to sure to double check. But by the last phone call, I was pissed. Surprised even.

I tried to call Jake, but only got his voicemail. I left a very brief, non-revealing message to call me back and even threw in a feel better. The mystery seemed to deepen and I wondered what the hell I had been dragged into. I listed in my head the inconsistencies – Leah, the pregnancy, the photos, the wedding site, his move, Billy's supposed ignorance, Jake's insistence we speak again and now his latest request of asking for money. I felt like I had most of the clues, but was missing the final one that tied it all together and revealed the truth.

I was exhausted from being put through this. I was tired of the lies, the stress and the unknown. I hated that Jake was the catalyst of this but I couldn't hate him. I was mad, but there was no hatred. He had stolen my heart and wouldn't give it back.

This was it. I was determined to get to the bottom of this. No matter how awful the truth was, it needed to be exposed.


	7. We Have Crashed and Fallen

**[Chapter7: We Have Crashed and Fallen]**

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Sorry for the wait! Here we go!

* * *

Two weeks. I had two weeks to formulate and execute _Mission: Liar, Liar, _as I had taken to calling that nagging feeling that something bigger was going on between Jake, _her _and I_._ I just couldn't put my finger on it. Alice set up the flight home for Jasper, her and I. Emmett and Rosalie were staying down here with her family. I had no idea what Edward was up to; I hadn't spoken to him since the party. There was no way I was going to be able to enjoy Christmas with all of this just hanging over my head. Jake had texted me once or twice since the party, but nothing earth shattering surfaced. I was at my wits end with him and the entire situation.

Every night after work I went to the library to study for exams and write my final essays. I barely got around to any of that and instead continued my own investigation on Jake and _Crazy_, as Alice and I had started to call Leah. I searched their names, together and separately, all over the internet. I even looked up local newspapers for engagement, wedding and baby announcements. After checking their wedding registry, for the eighth time, there weren't any new updates. The wedding was still taking place in March. The sound of my fingers hitting the keyboard at a rapid pace was the only sound cutting through the library.

As I looked up and around at the surrounding bookshelves, a thought hit me – the baby. If there was a baby, she'd have to have a baby shower. I quickly typed in the names of baby stores and checked for baby registries, but came up with no results. By the time I typed in the third store my relief was short lived when I found it: Leah Clearwater, mother/Baby Matthias – due December Nineteenth.

I gasped loudly but quickly covered my mouth when I realized I was still in the library. A few heads popped up at my reaction, but I ignored them and continued to snoop. She had registered for a ton of gifts, ranging from monkey themed towels to diapers, a crib, a changing table, bottles, and more. Out of that entire list none of the items had been purchased. I know I'm not a baby expert or anything, but I know showers are thrown closer to the due date, so wouldn't most of these things have been bought already? I logged into the messenger service and saw that Alice was online.

_crabcakes: hey_

_branflakes27: what's up, buttercup? how's the studying? wait, why aren't you studying?_

_crabcakes: i was, sort of, BUT i found something interesting…_

_branflakes27: well???_

I sent her the link to the store and told her to type in Crazy's name.

_branflakes27: wtf is that?!_

_crabcakes: i know, right? i don't know. another piece of the puzzle i guess. i think i stopped breathing for a second, though. but you notice his name's not attached as the father._

_branflakes27: i don't think that means anything, does it? how did you even find this?_

_crabcakes: it just came to me. but seriously, wouldn't you put your kid's father's name on the registry?_

_branflakes27: you would think, but i wouldn't look too much into that. come home already, i made dinner._

_crabcakes: you're probably right, but i have to look at every angle. i should just call quil, since he's not online right now._

_crabcakes: i just think it's odd that no one's bought the presents yet. it's so weird._

_branflakes27: yeah, i don't know what to say. i think you need to stop looking at this stuff. _

_crabcakes: i wish i could, but it's so addicting. i hate being in the dark. i need answers and it's the only way i can find them._

_crabcakes: anyway, i still have some studying to finish up, but i'll be home soon. _

_branflakes27: alright. be careful, bel. keep it gangsta. peace._

The next couple of days past uneventfully. I couldn't shake this feeling of being really close to solving a mystery, without really knowing what I was looking for. One night I came home to an empty house. Alice left a note explaining that she and Jasper went out to dinner to celebrate the end of his finals. It made me laugh because only Alice would find a reason to go out when she still had her own finals to worry about. I whipped up a quick dinner of macaroni and cheese and pulled out my notes. I decided to study for a bit and turned on my laptop. Rosalie startled me with a message.

_icequeen: what's the scoop?_

_crabcakes: excuse me?_

_crabcakes: who told you?_

_icequeen: need i tell you?_

_crabcakes: ALICE! ugh, what'd she say?_

_icequeen: she just said you stumbled upon the baby registry. _

_crabcakes: yeah, that was all though._

_icequeen: no shit! what an idiot. send me the links again to the wedding site and the other stuff?_

I sent her the links I had.

_crabcakes: k. there you go. _

_icequeen: dude, she's old. _

_crabcakes: i know._

_icequeen: she's got a grown kid too. what the hell?_

_crabcakes: rose! i know all this. i've hit a dead end…_

_icequeen: sorry! i just forget until I see how old she is. she's haggard. _

_crabcakes: rosalie hale!_

_icequeen: oh stop, bella. you know you're thinking the same thing. i just say it out loud._

_crabcakes: shit. you got me there. _

_crabcakes: hey, i just thought of something. you can check your emails when you're logged on through this, right? like, i don't have to log into email to view?_

_icequeen: yeah, i think so. _

_crabcakes: oh my god! i have to go. bye. _

I logged off before she could write anything else. I tested my theory and logged back in with Jake's screen name – 'wolfndisguise'. This was the only password I knew because it happened to be my name. When the welcome screen loaded there were a bunch of options and one of them included email. I clicked and it brought me to his inbox. As I scrolled through there were emails that Jake had sent to himself, but they were from different accounts he'd created. To say I was shocked was an understatement. Internally I debated if I should hack into these other email addresses, but that didn't feeling didn't last long.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and started with the first one. I clicked the 'forgot password' option and it sent the password to the backup email, which was the one I was currently logged in on. When I finally entered that site I found another online profile. It was filled with pictures of him and Leah and sickeningly sweet comments to each other. The comments went back to almost a year before. She had even posted a countdown of when they were going to move in with each other. I gasped at the date. He'd been living with her since July! I was also able to click on her profile and see similar posts by Jake. She'd lived in a couple of states before settling in Forks – Idaho and Oregon. She also had more pictures displayed than him. The more recent comments were about baby Matthias. He'd taken to calling it the "little nub." My stomach did a somersault. I desperately wanted to start deleting everything yet I hesitated.

I clicked back to the other window that had his inbox up. I looked at other email address he set up and attempted to log in with that one, but it was harder. The site didn't allow an email password to be resent; I had to answer security questions to reset it. I read the security question, 'What is the name of your pet?' I couldn't believe this question. Jake had so many pets growing up. I learned all about his three dogs, the two cats, the fish and the hermit crab. They were all named, too. Crap! I tried two or three names which all bounced back. I refreshed the page and thought about which animals were his favorite.

Jake had a dog when he was eight named Sam. Apparently he was the biggest dog anyone's ever seen, with a fluffy black coat. He was his constant companion until he started high school and Sam had fallen ill. Billy had to put him down.

I typed in 'Sam' and I reset the password. I hit the mother lode. The inbox had eight pages of messages; the most recent received a couple of days ago.

There were pages upon pages of emails and saved chats. I started with last page and saw that the oldest email was over two years ago.

_Re: Valentine's Day_

_Sent: Sat. 2/15_

_To: Jake _

_From: Leah _

_Hey Sexy, _

_I love the new cell phone you got me! It's so cute and pink too! I wished we could have spent it together, but I understand. Your dad needed you. I hope he feels better. Keep a look out for some naughty pix! I hope you liked your present! I'll see you next weekend. _

_I love you more than all the stars in the sky!_

_L_

I almost threw up and had to refrain myself from screaming at the screen. That particular Valentine's Day, Jake surprised me with a day full of gifts. He even enlisted Alice and Jasper's help to deliver them. I had received flowers, chocolates, a movie and a book, so I wasn't expecting anything more. But that night, a UPS guy dropped off a small package. I opened it to find a long letter apologizing for being called in to work early when he was supposed to be the last surprise. Along with that letter was a beautiful amethyst heart necklace that I wore every day until a couple of months back.

There were so many emails and I couldn't help myself from opening them all. Many of the dates coincided with times where Jake and I either fought, or he disappeared for a couple of days. Other e-mails were lies about his whereabouts. The pieces were slowly fitting together. Their emails were very comfortable conversations – detailing trips, talking about their families, and even ones filled with too much information for my taste. I continued reading late into the night and I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. Jake's had this secret life for over two years. It just didn't add up. I started to wonder if it really had been only the last two years or longer.

As I read through the sixth page of messages, I realized that since I changed his password, he was going to have to reset it again so he could log in. I began to print them out in case I couldn't access the account again. One particular email chain caught my attention:

_Subject: Our Anniversary_

_Sent: 7/22_

_To: Leah _

_From: Jake _

_Hi Baby,_

_I booked the plane tickets for Los Angeles for middle of September. I'm so excited that we're celebrating our third anniversary, especially since I've never been there. I love you with my whole soul. I'm gonna show you the best time! We're gonna go to Disneyland, the beach, see Hollywood and find movie stars._

_Always and Forever,_

_Jake_

_Re: Our Anniversary_

_Sent: 7/22_

_To: Leah _

_From: Jake _

_Sweets – this is amazing! You treat me and my son so well. You've embraced us and I secretly consider you his dad. Thank you for loving us. I can't wait to get in that hotel room and fuck you senseless. I can't wait until we can finally move in together. Also, Baby, I am excited for the day I can give you a baby to show how much I love you. _

_I want to make Disneyland our special tradition. Are we staying at that hotel?_

_I love you more than all the angels in heaven!_

_Leah (to be) Black_

_Re: Re: Re: Our Anniversary_

_Sent: 8/15_

_To: Leah _

_From: Jake _

_Hey Babycakes, _

_I know we write each other tons of notes, but i thought i should respond to this one and keep a chain. I wholeheartedly love you and Paul. I'm so happy to step up and be a father figure to him. He knows he can come to me for any advice. Being in high school is rough and my experiences could help him. Patience, babe, patience. Everything will fall into place when it's supposed to. _

_We're not staying at the Disneyland Hotel, but we'll be close. I can't wait until I have you beneath me. You are amazing and no one has ever loved me the way you do. _

_Always and Forever_

_Your Jacob_

_Re: Re: Re: Our Anniversary_

_Sent: 8/20_

_To: Leah _

_From: Jake _

_Jakey,_

_Who knew that four years ago when I joined that pool chat room, we'd still be together? I treasure the fact that I'm your first love and you are my true love. And that we can experience it all together. The only thing in my life I regret was not meeting you first, but I wouldn't change a thing. I never thought when I met you that you would be so mature for your age and such a good man. _

_To have gone through what you have with losing your mom, your dad moving you state to state, and you having to basically raise yourself, I admire you for that. You will make a wonderful father someday. _

_I'm excited for our trip! I'll see you tomorrow!_

_I love you more than all monkeys in the jungle!_

_Leah_

They met online? In a chat room? Did people still do that? I was completely grossed out. Jake's been living in complete secrecy with her. It was unbelievable. I felt like I was stuck in a Lifetime movie. How does this happen to a normal person? The lies he wrote to her were told as truths. Jake and his dad never left the reservation, even after his mom died, to live anywhere else.. Jake couldn't even cook himself dinner, let alone help raise other people's children.

I clicked on the next chain of emails, which had picture attachments. The subject line read 'For Your Eyes Only'. After reading through some dirty, sex filled chats, I didn't think anything more of the title, expecting to read the same things. But as the pictures downloaded, my hand flew up to my mouth and I was flashed by a bare-chested Leah in pigtails, her hands holding them up to the camera with what was supposed to be a flirty grin. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I scrolled down to the next one and saw a man standing grasping his penis with a shot of his feet. Unfortunately, I knew exactly who the owner was, even with seeing that familiar bathroom tile. I immediately closed those emails and clicked on the next ones. I rubbed my eyes as fatigue gradually took over and glanced at the clock. It was already one thirty in the morning. I felt like I was watching an accident that I couldn't look away from.

I began to read emails out of order and looked for the ones about their L.A. trip. For some reason, I thought back to my twenty-first birthday in Vegas when he abruptly left to go home. My brain was fighting to find logic. I opened another tab and logged into his profile to get to Crazy's. I went through her photo albums, looking for those particular pictures. I didn't really notice the dates before. But there they were together in September at Disneyland. My heart instantly broke again, if that was even possible. I stared at the picture they took in front of the castle and ached. My entire being just ached at the realization he had picked a fight with me just to get home and catch a different flight with her.

I went back to the emails and found the ones I needed.

_Subject: California or Bust!_

_Date: 9/13_

_To: Jake _

_From: Leah _

_Hello Lover, _

_I can't wait until you get home tomorrow! I'm hope your aunt feels better and am sorry you have to spend more time on the plane, but guess what, Sexy? We're going to L.A.! I went shopping for some very revealing outfits for you. I can't wait to parade around in them! _

_How's the weather in Henderson? Where in Nevada is that, by the way? Are you by Vegas? _

_Paul will be staying with his father the whole week, so I don't need to worry about his whereabouts while we're vacationing. You can't keep too much of an eye on a sixteen year old boy. I don't want to think about what he would be doing in the house while we're gone. But while we're in Cali, I can't wait to start expanding our family! It would bring me so much joy to give you a son. Our love is forever and giving you a baby would show just how much I love you!_

_I love you more than all the fish in the sea!_

_L_

_Re: California or Bust!_

_Date: 9/13_

_To: Jake _

_From: Leah _

_Babe, _

_You always know what to say and pull at my heartstrings. I ache for you. My aunt is on the mend. She just needed some extra support. Henderson is right outside of Vegas and it's hot as hell right now, but chilly at night. I'm excited to come home to your sexiness. I love when you say you want to give me a child. It makes me feel complete. See you tomorrow, my beautiful. _

_Always and Forever_

_Sent from my wireless handheld_

_Re:Re: California or Bust!_

_Date: 9/22_

_To: Jake _

_From: Leah _

_Dear Mr. Black, _

_I am writing this letter to inform you that I am absolutely and completely in love with you. I would like to extend my thanks for a sexified vacation this past week. My loins and I are grateful you fulfilled our needs so thoroughly and I hope I have given you an equally satisfactory experience. _

_I'm sure the other guests at the Motel 8 were equally amused at the noise level and got a pretty damn good show! Thank you for being an amazing tour guide. You totally seemed like you knew exactly where the hidden spots of the city were. It was very smooth and very sexy. The best part was the stargazing at that place, on that cliff. _

_Anyway, Sir, please remember: Motel 8 and a Forty – it's not a bad way to spend a vacation!_

_Sincerely, _

_Ms. L. Clearwater, _

_Sex Goddess Extraordinaire _

_PS I love that you can email me while at work! _

_Re: Re: Re: California or Bust!_

_Date: 9/22_

_To: Leah _

_From: Jake _

_Dear Ms. Clearwater, _

_It was absolutely a pleasure spending a week holed up in that motel with you. You ARE a goddess and should be treated as such. I found my needs were wholeheartedly met. Your skill level is something that others would envy, especially your very talented tongue. _

_As for the hidden tour of the city, I cannot reveal all of my secrets, but am very pleased you enjoyed our secret stargazing spot, that will forever be ours and ours alone. Just remember, Sexy is my middle name, Sugar. _

_Sincerely a very satisfied, _

_Mr. Black_

_Sent from my wireless handheld_

I wanted to punch my fist through the screen. 'Hidden spots' of L.A.?! Yeah, he knew where they were because he and I would drive around Los Angeles and discover those places when I first moved here. That stargazing spot was _our_ spot! We found it one evening driving back from a day trip into Angeles Forest. It overlooked a deep valley and had a beautiful view of the sky. My heart sickened at the length he had gone to live this life with her. What the hell is a Motel 8? I have heard of a Motel 6 and a Super 8, but not a Motel 8. He took the love of his life to some freakin' motel and split a forty? That was some classy shit.

I couldn't believe how different he sounded in these emails. It's like he instantly became stupid when talking to her. Jake never spoke to me like he did in those emails. He was intelligent and witty, now I didn't even recognize him. Where was my Jake? What had happened to him?

I turned my attention back to the inbox and searched for anything about the baby or the engagement. I found a chat they had from May, earlier in the year.

_Chat Saved – May 18_

_LilLamB: Baby?_

_Blackitude: Yes, my dear._

_LilLamB: I can't get over everything. You've made me happiest woman in the world! I can't wait until we're married._

_Blackitude: It's all for you, baby. But you have given me the greatest gift ever – a baby._

_LilLamB: Our little nub is going to be so loved. He will be half you and half me. _

_Blackitude: I can't wait to start getting his room together and buy baby things. _

_LilLamB: What if it's a girl? Would you love it the same?_

_Blackitude: Oh, babe, of course! I'd be thrilled with whatever we are blessed with._

_LilLamB: Good, cuz secretly I want a boy to carry on your name but a girl would be adorable too._

_LilLamB: Did you tell your dad yet?_

_Blackitude: Yep, he's so excited. He can't wait until he has some time off, so he can formally meet you. _

_LilLamB: Oh, good. I can't wait either. I've been checking out apartments and I might have found one. _

_LilLamB: It seems big enough for all four of us. I love saying that. I told Paul and he's already packing._

_Blackitude: That's great, Babe. You'll have to show me. I gotta run, but I'll see you tonight. _

_LilLamB: 'K. Love you. _

There was so much to read. It seemed like Jake's relationship with Crazy was all wrapped up into one giant email. The things I was reading and photos that were imbedded just killed me. I scrolled through some more dates and the email chain during March of this year.

When our fifth anniversary approached, Jake was supposed to visit me down here for a week. As the date drew near we began to plan the trip. Jake was excited to visit and even suggested things to do. I hadn't seen him since Christmas, so I was in total romance mode. I thought we could spend a couple of days in Palm Springs, just the two of us, and then hang out around town. But the day before flew down, we got into a fight and he canceled on me.

_I had just come home from work and had been able to clear my school and work schedule. My cell rang as I struggled to unlock the door, shifting the bags of groceries I had in my hand. When I got inside, I put everything down and searched in my purse for my phone. I had a missed call from Jake. I called him back. _

"_Hello, my darling," I said when he gruffly answered._

"_Hey," he replied._

"_What's wrong?" I asked. _

"_Nothing," he replied sourly. _

"_Well," I asked carefully, "what's going on? You called?_

"_How come you didn't answer?" Jake was suddenly angry. "Where were you?"_

"_What?" I replied, not sure where this was going. "My hands were full of groceries and I was carrying my backpack. What's wrong with you?"_

"_Bella, I can never find you," he started. "You're always out and not home. Living in Los Angeles has really changed you. It's really hard on me."_

"_Wait just a goddamn minute," my voice rose. "What the fuck are you talking about? I've been nothing but committed to our relationship, school and work. So don't start getting all high and mighty about what I'm doing. What the hell are you doing up there? I visit you every chance I get. What about you? You never come down here."_

"_Don't put this on me," he shot back. "I'm doing what I have to, to get ahead. I'm working so hard for us and you're not here. You're having fun living the life while I'm home, waiting."_

"_What? Jake, where's this coming from?" The room suddenly went blurry as the tears started to fall. "Why are you fighting with me? You fly in tomorrow and this isn't how I want to start our vacation."_

"_That's another thing I wanted to tell you," his voice cold. "I don't think I'm coming down."_

"_Wait, what?" I nearly screeched into the phone. "What do you mean you're not coming?"_

"_Bella, that's exactly what I mean," he replied. "I have a lot of work to do and I need some time to think."_

"_Jacob, what the hell are you saying? What do you mean you need time to think?" The questions spewed out. "You have a lot of work to do? It's our fifth anniversary and you're pulling this shit now? "_

"_I have to go." Jake avoided my questions and concern. "I will call you later in the week. Bye."_

I cringed as I remembered that strange confrontation. I continued to scroll through Jake's inbox and came upon his March/April chats with her.

_Chat Saved – April 10_

_LilLamB: Pssst._

_Blackitude: Yes, dear?_

_LilLamB: I'm engaged. _

_Blackitude: Really? Well that's exciting news. To who?_

_LilLamB: It's this young, hot stud with long, dark hair and sexy as hell._

_Blackitude: Huh, sounds like someone i know. Well, Mrs. Black to be, what did you think?_

_LilLamB: I must say, you surprising me with a trip to Canada was beyond amazing. I can't believe you proposed on the train. The combination of the beautiful forests, the weather, you, was perfect. _

_Blackitude: All for you, my sexy. I'd actually been planning for awhile. I just didn't know when to actually spring it on you. _

_LilLamB: The ring was perfect – beautiful. I will never take this off. Forever, babe. _

_Blackitude: Forever. _

The last threads holding together my heart and sanity were finally severed. The truth was staring me in the face – Jake fell in love with another and proposed. The lies he wove were complex and it was obvious to me that Leah didn't care either way. And I realized I wasn't sad, I was pissed. My heart was pounding and I was trying to keep calm by taking deep breaths. More questions flooded my mind – why hadn't I seen this? How much of our relationship was a lie? Did he ever love me? Now what? Jake said everything he was doing was for us, but he really meant her.

I realized I had been reading for over three hours and needed to get some sleep but was too amped up to even try. What do I do now? I started my own email to Leah. When I was done, I had a whole page explaining exactly who I am, my relationship to Jake and attached some of our pictures. I thought it was a pretty good email to send to her, but being the chicken I am, I saved it instead. I closed the laptop, placed it on my dresser and gathered up all the printouts I made. After stacking them neatly into an envelope I finally decided to go to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to my cell buzzing. Groaning, I reached for the phone but found I was tangled in my sheets. As I tried to free myself, I ended up falling out of bed and landed on the cold, hardwood floor. My cell went with me, nailing me right in the head.

"Stupid phone," I said directly to it. I had two text messages from Alice and Rosalie wondering what happened the night before. I texted them both back to see if they wanted to grab some breakfast.

The girls and I met up at a local sidewalk café around the corner from our place. Alice and Rosalie were seated outside. I walked up to the entrance, carrying my laptop and printed out emails.

"Well, you look like hell," Rosalie blurted out, twisting her finger around a lock of her perfectly styled blonde mane. "Hangover?"

"Ha-ha," I replied, as I smacked her with the envelope. I wore a fitted purple zip up hoodie, a pair of jeans and flip flops. I kept my sunglasses on. "I wish it was that simple."

"Hey, Bella." Alice got up to give me hug. She had pinned up the front of her hair, almost 1940's style, and was wearing slim fitting black jeans, a white tee and long black sweater coat with her ballet flats. I hugged her back.

"You guys look nice," I commented. Rosalie was dressed in a flowy, navy blue peasant dress embroidered with orange stitching, with long bell sleeves, and wore dark tights and brown knee high boots. She had straightened her hair out.

"Thanks, I have a lunch meeting today to sample some makeup lines for an upcoming shoot," Rose stated.

"I don't need an occasion to look nice, thank you," Alice said rather smugly and was almost kidding. "But I do have a study group this afternoon. I am so jealous Jas is done with the semester already. I can't wait to go home and relax and maybe do some Christmas shopping, since I haven't really started."

I had to stop Alice when she started her to-do list. Thankfully she wasn't writing anything down or making a chart or something. She'd probably forget and start a new list later.

"So anyway, girls," I said loudly. But of course the waiter interrupted and we placed our orders. "It's done with. It's completely over. And now I don't know what to do."

"Wait, what's with the cryptic movie dialogue?" Rosalie asked, waving her hands around dramatically. Alice tried not to giggle and Rosalie suddenly lowered her voice. "Hey, did you end up hacking into that asshole's email?"

"You mean his three email addresses?" I answered seriously. I tossed the envelope onto the table and it landed with a thud.

"Oh my God!" The girls exclaimed together. They pulled out the papers and began sifting through it.

"What the hell is this?" Rosalie was reading the chats. "Sexy Libra 69? Really? Wait a second. Bella, these emails go back awhile. Is he living with her? Oh shit. He's not living with Quil, is he? FUCK! His dad has no clue what's going on, does he?"

"Jesus, Rose," I said. "Breathe. You're starting to sound like Alice."

"Hey," Alice interrupted, placing her sunglasses on the table. "I resent that. It might be true, but still. Bel, how'd did you get these?"

I shared exactly how I started with the baby registry which lead to me getting into Jake's email, how I discovered his secret email and his other online profile. The girls' faces froze in pure surprise as I retold my night.

"I can't believe this," Alice finally said, breaking the long pause when I finished. "This sucks so much. This totally explains his behavior last year."

"Check this out," I said, taking the folder back and looking for the Vegas/Visiting L.A. emails.

Rosalie and Alice were shoulder to shoulder reading the emails together and their faces grew from surprised to disgusted in one fluid motion. Rosalie glared at the page and drew her eyebrows together.

"That's why he left suddenly the night after your birthday?" Alice asked.

"I never told you guys this. He picked a fight with me after we all went back to our rooms," I answered. "He left me in the hotel room alone and when I woke up the next morning, he had slept on the floor. He would have rather slept on the floor than be anywhere near me! He caught a cab later, grunting a goodbye and left. I was just too embarrassed to tell you, so I made up that lie that there was an emergency back home."

They nodded, but thankfully didn't say anything. They continued to read and the only sounds audible were curses and gasps.

"So now what?" Rosalie asked, moving the emails off the table as the waiter brought our food.

"Well, first I thought I should email her," I answered, while cutting up the pancakes I ordered. "Which is something I should have done the first time around."

"That's a good start," Alice replied. "What do you think you'll say?"

"Funny you should ask." I fired up the laptop and pulled up the saved email. "Here."

"Fuckin' eh, you wrote a lot," Rosalie exclaimed, moving her cheesy omelet out of the way as I handed her the laptop.

"Rose, read it out loud," Alice chimed in while focusing on her food, which happened to be a ham and cheese patty melt. Only Alice would think to eat lunch at breakfast time.

"Alright," Rosalie cleared her throat and began. "I just want to say, I don't know what the hell is going on, but I need to know what you are doing with my supposed fiancé. I think it's quite disgusting the way Jake is carrying on with this and the likes of you. What possessed you to entrap a twenty-one year old man with a girlfriend of over 5 years?"

"Jacob Black and I began dating our junior year of high school and have been together ever since. He proposed to me two years after we started dating on Christmas Eve. We've known each other since we were children, growing up in Washington. Our fathers are best of friends, or were I should say, after the shit we all saw him pulling. As long as I've known him, Jake loved working on cars and hoped some day to open a body shop of his own. For the last three years, he's been working as an apprentice with the shop on the reservation.

"I thought I knew everything about this man – his deepest secrets, his desires, his passions and his interests. Little did I know, he was completely lying to me for who knows how long. The Jake I know is not the boy in your pictures. I only found out about you when I was on his profile. He claimed you were no one, just some crazy bitch who was stalking him. He was always such an honest person, and I have no idea how everything changed so quickly.

"I've attached some pictures for you.

"So my question to you is how long have you been screwing around? You are a grown ass woman. I'm completely flabbergasted at everything. I don't have anything left to say, except that I loved him and honestly thought we were destined to be together forever. He stole my heart and always made me feel number one.

But he is a goddamn liar. His father has absolutely no idea what Jake's been up to. Have you even met him? Do you even know that you've walked into a life that was already made? That you're interrupting? Who the fuck do you think you are? I don't have anything left to say to you. Except karma's a bitch."

It was painful to hear Rosalie read my email. It was written as the thoughts hit my mind. I had no idea how cruel I sounded, but it didn't matter. I hated her. I hated everything about Jake and her. As far as I knew, she had to have known. Rosalie finished reading and her and Alice's reactions were hard to read.

"Wow, Bella," Rose stated. "I didn't think you had it in you to say what you really think. Most of the time you keep everything bottled in until you explode. I'm proud of you."

"Rose!" Alice retorted. "She can't send this to that woman. We don't know if she knew anything. You can't insult her like that. Seriously, I'm all for sending her an email, but it will just make you look immature and crazy if you're blaming her and calling her names. It's sort of harsh."

"Really?" I was a little shocked at Alice's reaction. "Don't I deserve this? What do I care what she says? I've learned way too much about their relationship. She grosses me out."

"Bella," Alice started. "You know very well that you can't send it like this."

"Al, she can do what she damn well pleases." Rosalie defended me. "That bitch and her boy toy fucked with Bella. She should tell her exactly what she thinks."

"Rose, she can't write things like that." Alice responded to her. "Look, it's not going to solve anything if she straight out calls her names. It needs to be a more informative email, stating who she is, what Jake is to her and leave the insults out."

I knew they were both right.

"You guys, look." I finally spoke. "I probably won't ever send this to her. I don't want to talk to her or anything. I want nothing to do with her. It's stupid. I just wrote exactly what I was thinking and didn't edit myself. I just need to come up with a plan for Jake. You know, since he's still denying the very fact that he's having a child. I don't know."

They both nodded, but didn't offer anything else.

"What do you think of this?" I continued. "You know how Jake agreed we could meet up to talk about things? Well, he's never going to be able to, not with that baby arriving soon. I could still play stupid, see how far he takes his lies and then hit him with the truth. I don't know what I'm going to say without ripping him a new one, but I can do it. He has no idea I know anything except what he's told me and the pictures I found."

"I guess you could do that," Alice said. "But again, what good will that do?"

"Al, why are you so calm about this?" Rosalie said as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and stared expectantly to the left at Alice.

"It's not that I'm so calm about Jake and his lies," she replied, shifting her gaze between the both of us. "For one, obviously, I'm on your side, Bel. Always. What Jake has done is unforgivable. However, I also think Leah has been screwed with too. She's obviously made some poor choices, but I feel pity for her and I don't think name bashing is going to solve anything."

"I so don't agree with you, Al," Rosalie said. "I don't care who this woman is or how she got fucked with. I don't care. Bella's been lied to over and over again by someone we all trusted and cared for. She should feel free to do what she pleases, and that includes handing Jake his balls on a platter."

"I get it. I really do," I finally said, speaking up. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I still want to finish reading those emails, if I can still get in."

We changed the subject for a little bit and finished our breakfast. After saying our goodbyes, I walked home, lost in my thoughts. I couldn't figure out why I was so calm about this. In my mind, I thought I should be rocking in the corner or something. Yet I was more intrigued and wanted to keep reading these emails. Everything felt so surreal.

The day was sunny and crisp, and I made a turn away from the house and walked over to the park. There were some kids playing on the swings. I took a seat under a tree. I watched a couple walk their dog and some moms push strollers. It made my stomach flip. The thought of Jake fathering a child still made me dizzy. I decided to text him instead of calling him. I thought if I heard his voice I'd scream.

_hi. so i was thinking, want to meet up on the 22__nd__?_

Sent 12/10 11:55 a.m.

I waited, pulled out my laptop and tried to log into his email again. I got in using the same password I created last night. I was actually surprised it worked. I noticed he had new emails from today that were marked read. I thought that was odd. I suddenly realized he'd changed the password to what I had changed it to. I continued reading some emails I hadn't gotten to the night before. There was nothing earth shattering or different from his previous ones to Crazy.

The most interesting ones I read were the resume submissions to local markets in our hometown for employment, which I thought was odd since he said he was living in Portland. They all said the same thing-- that his former employment was with a different market chain. Why was Jake looking for work at a market? What happened to his mechanic career he was dying to be a part of? I continued to read and my question was answered. Apparently, he was working for that shop on the reservation, but was fired for coming to work high. The email was dated over six months ago. I just shook my head. I didn't know this man as well as I thought I did. My phone beeped.

_Hi back! That date sounds good. We can meet in Port Angeles._

Sent 12/10 12:10 p.m.

I couldn't believe he agreed. I texted him back.

_sounds good. i'll be driving in from seattle that day, so we can meet in the late afternoon._

Sent 12/10 12:11 p.m.

_Ok._

Sent 12/10 12:11 p.m.

That was the extent of our communication, so I just went back to those emails. I stumbled upon his home address and phone number. He was not living with Quil. I googled his address and saw it was not far from our old high school. It was a small little house. My head was spinning from my latest discovery. It was all too real. I pulled out the envelope and jotted down this information.

When I looked at my phone, an hour had passed and I needed to go study. My finals were next week, luckily I only had three exams, but I still had two papers to finish. I got up, brushed off my jeans and headed home to study.

The week passed quickly and I finished up my finals. I couldn't get myself to concentrate enough to finish editing my last paper, so I logged into Jake's e-mails instead. There wasn't anything new I could read. I decided to go over my email to Crazy, for the third time. It was probably never going to be sent. I took Alice's advice and took out the nasty comments and kept it informational. It was longer and had more examples.

The night before Alice's last final, she and I were sitting in the living room watching TV, while I quizzed her with flash cards.

"Thank God, I'm done," I blurted out, smirking at her. Alice just rolled her eyes at me.

"Thanks, kid," she responded. "Next card, please."

I was about to read the next card when my phone beeped.

_I can't meet up that week, I have to work. Ttyl. _

Sent 12/16 10:45 p.m.

"What the hell!" I yelled. "I knew it!"

I looked at Alice and started laughing. I handed her the phone. Her eyes went wide as she read the text. I got up and brought the laptop out. I called him back, leaving a voicemail to call me back immediately. I logged into my email and sent it off to his other email.

_Subject: _

_Date: 12/16 _

_To: Jake _

_From: Bella _

_Jake – _

_I just want you to know that I know everything about your other life with your Leah, your baby, everything. You've lied to me long enough. Everything you've ever said to me has been a complete lie. I gave you five years of my life and for what? For you to fuck me over so you could play house? Not anymore. You should have 'fessed up the first time when I asked you what was going on._

_Bella_

I sent it to him without a second thought. I tried to go back to helping Alice study, but she stopped me and we just stared at each other in our pajamas. Time passed and my cell rang. I panicked a little.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Hey, what's going on?" His husky voice asked in a very normal tone.

"What do you mean what's going on, Jake?" I hissed into the phone. "So you have to work, huh?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm actually pulling a second shift and then I have to go into the shop and finish a job I started on a car," He smoothly replied.

I was so annoyed at this point.

"So are you ready for the baby?" I suddenly asked, remembering how I asked him a couple of months ago.

"Oh stop, Bella. There's no baby," he said. I rolled my eyes and huffed into the phone.

"I call bullshit," I said louder. "Isn't little Matthias due on the nineteenth? Is your fiancée ready?"

"No. What? Bel?" Jake sounded a little taken aback. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you're really not living with Quil," I continued. "I know everything, you stupid fuck. I know more about what you've been doing that I would have liked."

"No, what –," but I cut him off.

"So you don't live on 555 E Street?" I blurted out matter of factly. I was met with silence.

"How did you know that?" Jake asked quietly after a long pause.

"Don't fucking worry about how I know that," I said angrily. "Get it through your head! Your lying stops now."

There was another pause.

"I have to call you back." With that Jake hung up the phone.

There was a knock on my door and Alice walked in. She sat on my bed and I relayed what happened.

"Wow," she said.

"Oh my God, Alice," I said. I had just checked my emails and Jake responded back to the email I sent. Except it wasn't from him, it was from Crazy.

"She wrote back," I told Alice. "It says, 'I don't know who you are, but I'm Jake's fiancé and I would like to know if he's been playing you a fool? I just need to know what's going on. He says you're lying but I'm about to deliver and I need to know what's going on. So if you could write me back, that'd be great. Leah.'"

"Oh, shit," Alice said when I finished. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to send her that email I originally wrote to her," I answered, shaking a little as I sent off that long email. "I reworked it and took out the insults."

"Good. Jeez, Bel," Alice said getting up. "I need to go finish studying, but I'm right out here if you need me."

"Thanks, Al," I shut the door when she left and waited.

After what seemed like forever, my cell finally rang. I was met with a sobbing Jake. I didn't know how to react to that.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey," Jake responded, sniffling.

"What's going on now?" I was genuinely curious.

"I'm not going to ever see my kid," he cried into phone. "She kicked me out."

"What?" I said. I didn't know what to think. He never wanted to admit it was true and now he was crying to me about her. He was actually sobbing into the phone. My heart sank into my chest.

"Do you love her?" I asked quietly.

"Yes," he wailed into the phone. "I'm a bad person. I'm going to hell."

I was speechless. He loved her. This had absolutely nothing to do with me. He didn't love me. I bet he never did.

"Oh, shut up," I said into phone. "Nothing's going to happen and you know it! Stop being a fucking martyr, you brought this on yourself. You and your goddamn lies. It didn't have to be like this."

"I have to go," his voice was shaky. "I'm sitting in my car."

He hung up on me again. I check my email again and Crazy wanted to talk to me. She asked for my number. I sent her the landline number. The phone rang almost immediately.

"Hello?" I said hesitantly.

"Hi, um, Bella?" a very unfamiliar, small voice asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

"What's going on?" She asked. "Please tell me. I just don't understand."

"Everything I sent you is one hundred percent true," I told her.

"Jake said you only dated a couple of months and that was years ago," she said. I wanted to reach into phone and strangle Jake.

"That is a bold face lie," I retorted, snorting in the process. "We've been together for so long. I've given him presents, like his personalized jersey, and we've gone on trips, like last year to Vegas for my birthday."

"What?!" Leah yelled away from the phone. "You were in Vegas with her last year?"

"No," I could hear Jake quietly deny the trip.

"He said he got that jersey from his cousin," she said to me.

"He certainly did not," I replied. "That number is our anniversary. He proposed to me that year. Is he not working in the body shop?"

"No," she answered. "He's looking for a job right now."

I wanted to ask her how they met and how long they have actually been together, but the words didn't come out. She continued to interrogate me and every time I told her something about us she would turn her voice to him and he would deny me over and over again.

"How many times has Jake moved?" She asked.

"Never," I replied honestly.

"Where are you living?" Leah's questions become more urgent.

"I'm in L.A.," I said calmly. "I've lived here for the past three and a half years."

"Oh my God," she turned her voice towards Jake. "You brought me to California and knew where to go because of her, didn't you?"

Again, he denied my very existence.

"Our dads are best friends, and since I moved back to Forks, we had been inseparable for a year and a half until I moved to California. I thought I was going to marry him. I loved him. I even gave him a ring to wear for his birthday. It's just a simple white gold band."

"What!?" Again, she questioned him. "Is that the ring you said was your grandfather's for Matthias?"

"No," his dead voice answered. There was no life left in it.

"Thanks for talking to me," she said to me. "Is it okay to contact you if I need to?"

"Yeah, sure." I said goodbye and hung up the phone.

I had no idea what to make of this conversation. I wished I thought better on my feet when cornered in a situation like that. I wanted to keep asking her things, but I couldn't form the words. I wanted desperately to erase everything. I can't believe it had been almost four fucking months since the first time I found evidence of Jake's betrayal.

When I woke up in the morning, I almost forgot the strange conversations from the night before. I looked at the clock, it was around nine in the morning. When I sat up, I remembered hanging up with Leah, I mean Crazy. I checked my emails and there was one from her email.

_Subject: Jake_

_Date: 12/16 _

_To: Bella _

_From: Leah _

_Hi. I received an email from Jake's dad this morning and he denied everything you said last night. He said you never have been to their house and you didn't date Jake that long. He says he doesn't even know your dad. I don't know what else to tell you but I don't know if you're lying to me. Jake's dad has no reason to lie. Please do not contact Jake again. There is enough stress going on with the baby and we don't need any unnecessary drama._

_Leah_

I was pissed when I read that. I didn't believe for a second that Billy emailed her. My dad and his dad did not do the email thing, let alone use computers for things other than work. I didn't even know how to answer this. I couldn't keep fighting from afar. I was done defending myself. It's one thing to talk about me, call me names, tease me, but do not call me a liar.

I walked out of my room to get Alice, but remembered she had finals all day. I had to go home. Today. Our flight didn't leave until Saturday. That was almost four days from now. I needed to confront Jake and Crazy in person. I found my courage. It was time. I had been patient enough. I went back to my room and pulled out a suitcase. I packed what I could and pushed the Florida trip to the back of my mind. I could figure out my clothes situation later.

I pulled out the Jake and Bella box. I found a lid and duct taped it shut. I'd probably have to check it in. The box was bulging and photographs were sticking out. I picked up the box and could hear the frames rattling inside. I grabbed the folder of emails and my laptop. I placed everything in the living room. I took a quick shower and got dressed, wearing my jeans and a white long sleeved t-shirt. I grabbed my red fitted zip up hoodie and my down jacket. I dried my hair a bit and braided it into two pigtails.

I walked out to my car and completely forgot my truck didn't run. I didn't know what to do. I quickly walked back to the apartment. I paced the living room, calculating how much an airport shuttle van would cost. I thought of my friends, staring at the new photos Alice hung, but knew they all were busy with work and finals. I landed on Edward's face and thought he might be the only with a flexible schedule. I realized I didn't have his cell. I looked on the fridge where Alice had everyone's cells posted and luckily his was there. I called him, but before he answered, I heard a lot of muffled noise.

"Shit. Sorry, um, hello?" Edward's voice was very hoarse and filled with sleep. I paused. "Hello?"

"Uh, Edward. Hi," I stated like an idiot. I'd talked to him before. Hell, we'd had that argument before. "It's Bella."

"Bella," he cleared his throat. I could hear him shifting in bed. "Is everything okay?"

I was trying to control my rage and tears at the same time, realizing I was going to confront Jake in a few short hours.

"I know this is a lot to ask," I said very calm and even. "But can you give me a ride to airport?"

"Sure, it's not a problem," he answered calmly. "We're not leaving for a couple days, I thought Alice wanted to ride together anyway."

"No, I mean right now," I said with more urgency. "I need a ride this morning. Please? My truck's dead and I can't pay for a cab to take me to LAX. I need to get there now and I don't even know if I can even get a ticket."

"Whoa, Bella," he was alert now. "Slow down, what's the matter? Are you okay?"

"Edward," I started, my voice shaking and my throat tightened. "Please don't ask me questions. Not right now. Can you drive me or not? Please?"

"Okay, I'll be there in fifteen," he relented. "Bye."

"Thanks. Bye." I hung up my phone. I wrote Alice a note explaining most of it and that Edward was driving me.

I walked outside to wait for him. My fists clenched as I stood on the sidewalk next to my suitcase and bulging cardboard box, as I thought of Crazy's words. I heard Edward's truck before I saw it. It raced down my street and skidded to a stop.

He jumped out and sort of stared at me which made me feel very self conscience, especially when I realized that I didn't put any makeup on and hadn't slept a full night in almost two weeks. He was in black track pants and a black hooded sweatshirt. He wore a pair of black rimmed glasses and a beanie with pieces of his bronze colored hair peeking through. His jaw was scruffy and it looked like he hadn't shaved in a couple of days. He helped me place my things in the backseat. I got into the front seat and began fidgeting with one of my pigtails. As I stared out the window, I began to suck on my bottom lip.

"Bella, what's going on?" Edward asked. I could feel his green eyes focusing on me.

"I'm sorry for waking you," completely ignoring his question. "Do you think there will be a flight I can get on?

Edward entered the freeway and traffic was pretty light. I stopped talking and didn't look at him.

"Bella, please," he continued to prod with me.

He sighed suddenly pulled over on the shoulder of the freeway. I finally turned my face to him, my eyes wide with surprise. Edward shut the truck off and lowered the radio.

"What the fuck is going on?" He turned his body towards me and grabbed my left hand. "Please tell me."

He was calm this time. Not like the time we went to the bank and he sort of yelled at me. I looked at our hands and actually felt comforted.

"Why didn't I meet you first?" I whispered so low that I hoped he didn't catch it. My tears finally surfaced. After months of sort of crying, they flowed freely. I realized that I didn't care if he saw me completely raw and bare. He awkwardly pulled me into his arms, since the center console was between us. I continued to cry into his chest.

After a few minutes, I finally took a deep breath. I was instantly enveloped in Edward's scent. It was a slightly musky cologne mixed with just _him_. I calmed down just enough to speak.

"I'm going to kill Jake with my bare hands," I turned my head, still leaning into him. "So, I just need you to get me to the airport."

He let me go, nodded and started the car again. By the time we reached the airport, the tension was still ever present, but I retreated into myself and didn't speak. When Edward stopped at the curb, I jumped out and opened the back door to grab my suitcase. When I went to pull the box out, I hit the corner of the door and some pictures escaped falling in the gutter. I almost dropped it, trying to pick them up, but I felt defeated and thought, what's the use? I left them there in the water and trash filled gutter. I yelled a hasty thanks to Edward and started to roll everything to the sliding doors.

"Bella, wait!" I turned and saw Edward running around the front of the truck to me. "Just wait a couple of days. We'll all be going home together. Alice, Jasper and I can help you. We can come up with something, whatever the problem is. Please wait?"

I was so close to giving in to his request, but I was so angry and hurt. I needed to confront Jake now or I'd lose my nerve. I turned to fully face him.

"Edward, you don't understand," I calmly said. I couldn't meet his gaze. "No one understands. My soulmate, my fiancé fucked me over. He used me. The one person I trusted most with my heart betrayed everything I ever knew about love. He just broke me and I feel it. I got sucker punched and when I turned to fight back, nothing was there. I was going to marry him. My ring is in this box, Edward! My life is in this stupid box!

"You haven't seen my room, but it's just a room now. There aren't any pictures hanging up because Jake's in all of them. He's having a baby and living with her! She's almost forty years old! He's been getting away with this for who knows how long! Now _she's_ calling _me_ a goddamn liar! I'm taking these emails I found and shoving them down their throats! All my pain lies where my heart used to be. It's a gaping empty hole. Jake's been rewarded for his god-awful behavior."

When I finally looked up at Edward, his green eyes were filled with worry. I'd never spoken most of this out loud before. Instead of freeing me it weighed me down. I felt heavy with emotion and so defeated. Edward took a step closer to me and enveloped me in his arms. I held on to him so tight. We were interrupted by airport security yelling at him to move the truck. Edward hesitated and looked like he wanted to say something, but security wasn't letting him.

"Bella, I'm sorry," he said. "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

I shook my head no and was about to say something when security finally walked over to us. I hugged Edward goodbye again and left him to deal with them. I walked quickly without looking back and entered the check-in area and found the airline we were going to be taking. I managed to find a flight that was leaving in forty five minutes. After checking in everything, I ran to the security lines and barely made it to the plane in time to board.

As I settled in my seat, I looked through my bag for the manila envelope that contained the emails. I panicked a little when I couldn't find it. I figured it must be in the box or luggage. As the plane took off, confusion and anxiety set in because I didn't know what I was going to do when I landed in Washington. For almost three hours, I sat fidgeting in my seat. I tried to focus on anything but my thoughts.

When the plane finally landed in Seattle, it was raining. Big surprise, I thought. I made my way through baggage claim to retrieve my belongings. I didn't even bother to turn my phone back on. Some minutes later, my luggage rolled around the windy conveyer belt and I grabbed the suitcase first. When I pulled the box up I heard the tinkling of glass. I sighed, but forced myself to not care that my frames broke. I ripped open the top, very messily I might add, and the envelope wasn't there. I unzipped the suitcase, right in the terminal, and dug through my clothes and nothing. Shit, I thought. It might be in Edward's truck. I prayed that he wouldn't read them. Groaning to myself, I re-packed my suitcase and walked over to the car rental office and picked out a Jeep.

After packing up the car, I hooked up my mp3 player and began the long ride to Forks. I blasted the angriest rock music I had. I began giving myself pep talks. I drove the fastest I could in the pouring rain. I knew I had to muster up the strength to confront Jake and Crazy. I just hoped it was enough.


	8. You Need Me Less Than I Need You

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

This chapter is near and dear to my heart. Sometimes you wish things were just this easy…

My beta will punch Jacob for every review! Happy reading!

* * *

**[Chapter 8: You Need Me Less Than I Need You]**

It was late in the afternoon when I finally made it to the outskirts of town. This place never changes – lots of green, constantly wet pavement, two lane roads, mountains and trees. So many freakin' trees. The clouds were low in the sky today, creating an eerie quietness along the main road. After living in Los Angeles for the last three years, I couldn't see myself moving back here. I guess I was more similar to my mother than I thought. When I was growing up, she and I moved to so many different cities and climates that until this moment, I never realized just how easily I adjusted to life in California.

I was mentally drained from thinking about Jake and controlling the urge to slam the accelerator to the floor. Halfway to Forks, I had to pull over on the side of the highway just to calm down. The combination of anger and a downpour did not create the safest of driving conditions. My internal radar was fixated on the ultimate destination: Jake's home.

I scoffed at the idea of Jake living in a cute house, probably with a white picket fence in the front yard and playing the part of the decent, loving husband. I don't know if I was jealous or angry that his life seemed complete and perfect. Jake and Crazy had to be living in some kind of bubble or alternate reality that they created. Being called a liar was the last straw. I felt absolutely no sympathy for her and even less for him.

As I drove past the local diner, I thought about stopping at my dad's house and pick up the other box that was hidden in the back of my closet. I looked at the clock and saw I still had some time before nightfall. I really didn't want to drive over to Jake's in the dark. I turned down my street and was relieved to see that my dad wasn't home yet. I prayed he was working the late shift so I wouldn't have to explain my sudden arrival. I parked in front of the house and jogged through the front yard.

I slowly opened the door and crept in. I breathed in the scents of the house and instantly felt at home. It was a cozy two story house, with a masculine feel to it. Over the years my dad had slowly updated it – the kitchen was the latest project he completed. My room was probably the most changed in the whole house. Since I was young, I'd pick a different color for the walls every couple of years, even though I didn't live there full time.

My parents were always on the same side when it came to me. Though they weren't together for most of my life, I had a very stable upbringing. As free-spirited as my mom was, there were rules I had to follow and she made me eat my vegetables. I would visit my dad as much as I could. It was still weird to me that I only saw him couple of times a year which probably explained our lack of an affectionate relationship.

I walked up the light hardwood stairs to my room and made a beeline straight for the closet. I pulled out the other box that I hid at Thanksgiving. It was heavier than the one I brought back from L.A. I placed it on the bed and forced myself to keep the lid on it. I quickly brushed away the lone tear that escaped.

"Suck it up, Swan," I scolded myself out loud.

I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I needed a game plan. I just couldn't charge into their house, could I? I convinced myself that manners were not needed in this situation and to let it be. I got up and walked to the other bedroom that my dad converted into an office. The room was smaller than mine, and had a simple dark wooden desk and a black leather couch. I sat down in front of the computer and logged into Jake's emails once more. I needed his home address again, since I didn't have the envelope with the emails with me. I wrote it down on a post-it note and looked up directions.

When I made it back to my room, I looked out the window and checked the driveway for any signs of my dad. I picked up the box and carefully walked down the stairs. After locking up the house, I unzipped the back flap of the Jeep and placed it inside. When I got in the front seat and started the engine, my stomach suddenly knotted up. I'd been dying to call Billy the minute Crazy claimed that he emailed her. I decided that now was as good a time as any. My hands trembled, just a bit, while I dialed.

"Hello?" Hearing his voice made my body instantly tense.

"Hi, um, Billy?" I didn't mean for it come out as a question. Great, Bella, who else would it be? "It's Bella."

"Bella," he answered politely. "How are you?"

"I've been better," I said. I didn't know how to tell him without sounding insane. "Billy, I need to ask you something very serious and I hope you can be honest with me."

"Of course. What is it?" Billy's voice went from stressed politeness to concern. I took a deep breath and unleashed the word vomit.

"I received an email from Jake's fiancé last night, Leah, telling me you emailed her and said I was lying about ever knowing Jake and you. I found out everything, Billy. I uncovered everything there is to know about him and Leah - the date the baby is due, the wedding website, their vacation, pictures, and even where Jake's working, or not working. I found the address to the house here in town. Jake told me he was living in Vancouver and working a second job at a market. But, guess what? He was fired from the body shop. For being high! That baby's due any day now. It's a boy, by the way and Leah also has a teenage son. He denied ever knowing me. He loves her, Billy. Jake loves her."

Though the words all ran together and I spewed them out quickly without pausing, the last part came out soft and defeated.

"What?" he replied quietly. "Oh, Bella, I honestly don't know what to say. I didn't email her about anything. Actually, I've never spoken to her and I haven't been able to talk to Jacob. I don't know how this happened, kid. Can I have the address?"

"Sure," I rattled off Jake's address.

"I'm going to pay my son a visit; I need to see for myself what's going on," Billy said seriously. All I could do was roll my eyes. I never noticed how hands-off Billy was with his son. Jake really just did what he wanted, never mind the consequences.

We hung up not long after that. I had no intention of telling him I was actually minutes from Jake's house. After taking a moment to compose myself, I finally pulled away from the curb and headed east towards the high school and drove down the tree lined roads. When I turned on Jake's street, I followed it down a ways and watched the houses change from moderately sized homes to smaller, more humble ones. I was in the five hundreds and needed to reach the five-fifties. My breath hitched when I reached their house. I drove past it and made a u-turn, parking across the street. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought it was going to either jump out of my chest or give me a heart attack.

They lived in a little white house with a small porch that was enclosed with an un-painted wood railing. The yard was sparse and a weathered wooden fence separated the neighboring yards. It was missing some planks and needed a new coat of stain. I actually felt a little relieved that the image of their perfect house didn't exist. With the lights on inside it appeared that someone was home. There weren't any cars parked in the cracked, uneven driveway, which led towards the back of the property.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to channel my inner Rosalie and psyche myself out. If she was here should would have already jumped out, screaming in a take no prisoner mode. Thinking about all those emails and pictures was just what I needed to get riled up. When I glanced back at the house, a car had pulled into the driveway and was turned off. Jake stepped out, slamming the door shut.

When I first envisioned seeing him, I thought I was going to charge him like a rhino, fists clenched, and give him a piece of my mind. My body froze. He walked over to the trunk of the old VW Rabbit looking for something. I took this opportunity to get out of the Jeep. I quietly shut the door, walked around to the trunk area and unzipped the window. I made my way to the passenger door, opened it and pulled out the other box.

I looked both ways before crossing the street, because how much would it suck if I got hit by a car while trying to confront my ex-boyfriend. Yup, I finally spoke the dreaded word in my head. It didn't sting as much as I thought it would. I was running on pure adrenaline now and kept my eyes focused on the back of Jake's head, willing him to turn and look at me. As much I thought he would look different, he was exactly the same. He was the Jake I knew. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and he wore a black t-shirt and work pants.

I accidentally stepped on a small branch that snapped under my foot with a crack. Jake's head popped up and turned to his left towards me. His eyes were as large as saucers as he took in my sudden appearance. Almost immediately, he composed himself and his face lost all emotion. Somewhere, my courage and rage propelled me forward.

"So, I was in the neighborhood, and thought I should drop by and congratulate the happy couple," I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster. Jake just stared at me like I had two heads, so I continued.

"You really thought you could get away with this shit, didn't you?" I hissed, not stepping too close to him. I couldn't bear being in such close proximity. "I'm not stupid, Jake. I would have figured it out. We all would have. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Nothing. His face was stone cold, void of expression. Not even an eyebrow twitch. His eyes were flat and dark. There was no spark in them. He actually looked lost to me.

"How could you?" My voice was raised. I put the box down at my feet and stepped closer. The quiet of the street combined with the total lack of emotion killed me. "Why?!"

"Bella? Shhh," he finally spoke. He took a step back from me.

"I will not be quiet anymore, Jacob Black," I screamed at him, my hands flailing in gestures. "I spent the last four years with you, supporting you, loving you! It was only you! You betrayed everything! You broke my fucking heart, you asshole! _She_ thinks I'm making this all up. Is she here? Inside?

"You have this whole life you've conjured up." I rolled my eyes and pointed to the house and yard, while I tried not to lose the confidence in my voice. "But no one knows about it! She thinks everyone knows who she is! How could you blatantly deny your son?! How could you just lie to my face?! I asked you exactly what was going on multiple times and nothing! You constantly reassured me and for what?! You're nothing but a liar!

"So how long have you been fucking around on me?! Since high school? Was my forehead stamped 'sucker'? I was so stupid to fall you! You were a worthless piece of shit then and you still are now!"

"No! Bella, look," Jake finally cracked. His normally deep voice sounded so small. "For the first two years it was you and me. You were the first person I ever loved and it's so hard –"

"FUCK YOU!" I yelled, cutting him off. I knocked over the box, emptying its contents on his grass. The glass from the broken frames mixed with letters, cards, dried flowers and photos. The wind started to pick up a little. I crouched down and carefully sifted through the mess. I heard a door open and looked up long enough to see Leah waddle out to the porch. I ignored her, finding exactly what I was looking for. I threw the little velvet box at Jake. He caught as it hit him square in the chest.

"You had no business giving me that ring, you son of bitch!" A couple of tears escaped and I quickly wiped them away, trying not to lose my resolve. "You've broken every single promise you ever made to me! All I wanted was us! You claimed the same! You make me sick, you sick fuck!"

"What the hell is going on?!" A new, angry voice joined in. I turned to see _her_ pointing at me. Leah's face was the epitome of pure exhaustion and anger. I could see the dark circles under her eyes. Her stomach was so round and swollen that her white t-shirt strained against it and her pink sweatpants. The messy pigtails on her head swayed as she moved and she brushed away those dreaded bangs off her forehead. She looked older in person than in the photos she posted.

"I'll tell you, Leah!" I cried. "I'm here to set the record straight. No one gets away with calling me a liar! Not Jake and especially not you! That email was not from his dad. Billy doesn't even have an email address to send you anything. I just spoke to him and he has no idea who you are!

"Here's everything you ever needed to know about our life," I pointed to the spilled box and ran across the street. I grabbed the other one from the car. Both of them were frozen where they stood. Jake was looking at the ground and Leah was staring at me. I dumped the other box on top of the pile. Her eyes grew round with realization.

"You've never met his family, have you?" I yelled to her. I couldn't calm down. "Don't you think you should have met his dad by now? I mean you _are_ pregnant. How can you plan a fuckin' wedding with no guests from Jake's side? What'd you do trap him into getting you pregnant?"

Though I knew it was a low blow, I was on a roll. My rant was interrupted when I heard the squeal of tires. I turned and was shocked to see Edward pulling up to the curb. All three of us shifted our focus to the newcomer.

"Bel!" he yelled as he got out of the car and smoothly slid across the silver hood, carrying something. To say I was relieved to see him was an understatement. He had my envelope in his hand. Edward was dressed exactly the same as he was when he dropped me off at the airport this morning. He still had his glasses on too. His hair looked like he had constantly run his fingers through it. Jake and Edward were about the same height, but different builds. He completely ignored Jake and Leah and met me on the grass.

"You forgot this in the car," his voice was quiet as he handed me the envelope. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, mumbling a thanks. He took his place behind me, crossing his arms. I needed to quickly regroup before I turned back to Jake. Leah stayed on the front porch. Edward's sudden unexpected appearance threw me for a loop. He had been the furthest thing in my mind. Without missing a beat, I continued to lay into Jake with my new piece of evidence.

"And another thing," I yelled. "I know _everything_! It's sick how much I know! There's no use pretending anymore! I loved how much you denied her, the baby, and even more when she was on the phone with me, acting like I was the one stalking you! It's quite absurd really – your relationship. It's all just sunshine and rainbows, huh? Too bad your first fiancé got in the way. I can't tell you what a pleasure it was reading your most intimate details. You know you both are very photogenic."

When I threw the envelope at him, it opened and all of the emails I printed flew across the grass. Jake gaped at the scattered emails.

"How are you feeling these days, Jake? Better? You're looking a little green," I said matter of fact. "Maybe you should go see a doctor. Oh wait, you used that money I gave you for the hospital, right? What was it for? Kidney stones? So, you were going to pay me back, hmm?

"Wait a minute, what money?" Leah spoke up again. It took me a minute to register this unfamiliar voice. Her voice was higher, very feminine and young sounding. "Jake doesn't owe you money. What are you talking about?"

"Why would you know what he owes and doesn't owe me? Huh, _sweetie_?" I sneered the last part. She walked off the porch over to where we were standing. "He borrowed six hundred and fifty dollars earlier this month. He claimed he had been hospitalized. I'm not a doctor or anything and he looks healthy enough."

"You got the money from _her?!_" Leah screeched at him. Jake visibly flinched, but still didn't deny or argue anything. He just stood there like a puppet that was being held up by strings. "I was wondering how that money was suddenly in the bank account. You told me your dad gave you the money!"

"So, I take it no hospital stay?" Edward's velvet voice suddenly asked, full of sarcasm. I just looked back at him and almost smirked. Having another person on my side helped me see a little reality and I realized how idiotic we all were for standing here yelling in the front yard.

"No," Leah replied, staring at Edward. I became very protective of Edward and jealous that she looked at him like he was something to eat. "That was our goddamn rent money."

"Well, I'm _so_ glad that I could help keep you from getting evicted," I flatly interjected.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jake finally asked, speaking up. It seemed to take all of his strength to sound strong and bitter. He turned his attention towards me. "Is this who you have been screwing around with behind my back, huh, Isabella?"

"That is the most absurd thing you've said today, you idiot," I hissed back immediately. "You know what the best part is? It's no longer your concern. He's more of a man than you will ever be to anyone. He'll be a better father, husband and lover! You are a fucking psychopath! You didn't have to do this to me! This whole situation is ridiculous!"

I waved my hand up and down at Leah. I also saw what a sad woman she was, stuck with him forever, no matter the consequences after today. Edward never acknowledged Jake's comments and continued to ignore him.

"You people need to leave or I'm going to call the cops," Leah interrupted trying to act tough. That was all the motivation I needed. I started throwing the items from the boxes at Jake and he just stood there and took it. He didn't even try to stop me. Leah started screaming at me.

Another car pulled up not too much later. It was Billy. He parked behind Edward's car and walked slowly over to us. Jake closely resembled his dad. While they were both similar in height with long dark hair, Billy now had a tinge of white starting to form at the crown of his head.

"What now?!" Leah grunted in frustration. "All of you need to get the fuck off of my property, even _you_ old man!"

Billy ignored Leah's threat and continued walking towards Jake and grasped his left shoulder. He glanced back at Edward and I.

"Son, what in God's name have you done?" he asked quietly. Jake expressed no emotion at the sudden arrival of his father. He quickly averted his eyes from his dad and stared at the ground.

The man that stood before me was not the boy I grew to love. He was weak and didn't fight for anyone, not even himself. It was a sad day for me to see this. My image of Jake - strong, protective and loving - was shattered. I could feel the anger that had been held at bay since the beginning rise to the surface. I trembled with the excess energy.

In a sudden blur of action, I lunged forward at Jake, and swung a left hook to his face. The minute my fist made contact, I heard a distinct crunch. Jake doubled over grabbing his face. Edward caught me before I fell forward from the force I exerted. In my entire life, I have never physically attacked anyone. Though I felt overwhelmed, it was the most freeing feeling.

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" Jake yelled. His hands cradled his right cheek and nose. It began bleeding.

"Oh my God!" Leah screamed and yelled at me as she walked back to the house. "What the hell is wrong with you, crazy bitch?!"

"I'm crazy?! This whole thing is fucked up, Leah!" I seethed.

I ignored everyone after that. Billy didn't say anything and he didn't move to help his son either. Edward walked me away from them and tried to gently cradle my left hand. I winced at his touch. It was starting to throb and I couldn't move my fingers too well. Leah returned with a towel for Jake's face.

"Bella, are you okay? I think your hand needs to be checked out." His deep emerald eyes, full of concern, searched mine. I felt like he was able to see through the tough exterior and the walls I so carefully built up around me. For the second time today I burst into tears from a combination of the pain that was starting in my hand, the overwhelming reality of my afternoon, and Edward's genuine kindness towards me.

I collapsed against his chest and sobbed. Edward pulled me tightly against him. I couldn't bear to look at Jake or his dad and just held onto Edward as if my life depended on it. My tears only subsided some when I heard the familiar sound of police sirens. That bitch did call them. I heard the car doors slam and refused to look up.

"Jacob? Billy?" I heard a very familiar voice. I shrank as much as I could into Edward's chest. I knew that voice all too well. "What's going on here?"

"Officer, this woman and her boyfriend attacked my husband in an unprovoked manner," Leah confidently said. Edward whispered into my ear, trying to calm me down. I looked over and saw my dad staring at Billy, Jake and Leah. His partner stayed back by the cruiser.

"Bella?!" He turned towards me. His face was shocked to say the least. "Are you alright?"

I pulled away from Edward, nodding my head, and quietly answered him. "Yeah, Dad."

My dad walked forward and hugged me tight. His embrace was surprisingly comforting and I relished in the security of it. I realized my hand was killing me now.

"Hey! What the fuck is this?! I want to press-" Leah started.

"Leah!" Jake barked, cutting her off. He was still holding the towel haphazardly against his face, so it sounded muffled. She quieted immediately and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Charlie, I'm so sorry," Billy said seriously to my dad. My dad's face was red with anger at the realization of the situation. He held me and turned towards his best friend. "I'm sorry for my son's actions. I had no idea this was going on. Let us resolve this without having the police involved."

"Bill, this shit your son has pulled is completely unforgiveable," my dad started. "Bella's been nothing but jerked around with this. Jake, you are one lucky bastard that I'm in my uniform today. Do not make contact with anyone from my family in the future. You are no longer welcome or a part of it."

The moment my dad said that, the tears escaped again. This was probably the last time I'd see Jake or Billy. I'd lost half of my family in a span of two hours. I caught Jake's gaze and his eyes finally betrayed the emotions he had been trying to hide all afternoon. I saw the boy I loved locked away in those dark brown eyes. The man that now stood before me was a stranger with no remorse. I heard my dad sigh.

"Billy, our kids are adults now, and as an officer I need to ask the question. Jacob, do you need to file a police report?" I tensed up in my dad's arms. I didn't think my dad knew the extent of Jake's physical injuries and I missed Jake's response. The tears had slowed a bit and I wasn't on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Alright then, let's go. Goodbye, Billy." In that simple sentence my dad said his farewell to his best friend of over thirty years. Billy froze at the finality of those words. We left the three of them standing on the lawn. You could hear a pin drop, if that was even possible. My dad walked us away to the police cruiser. His partner was already getting in the driver's seat.

"Officer Swan? I'm Edward Cullen." My dad stopped to face Edward. "I'm Alice's cousin. I think Bella needs to see a doctor about her hand. I can take her, my dad's probably at the hospital today and he can look at it right away."

My dad shook the hand that Edward extended towards him and let go of me to see what he was talking about.

"Bella, what'd you do to your hand, sweetie?" he asked, as he gently pulled at my arm.

"IsortofpunchedJakeintheface," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"What? Honey, _you_ did that to his face?" My dad stared incredulously at me. He kissed my forehead. "What am I going to do with you? How did you even get here?"

"I rented a Jeep," I answered, pointing across the street with my right hand. My dad sighed and knitted his brows together, running his hand through his brown hair.

"Okay, this is what we'll do," he said. "Edward, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sure I will get the full story of your involvement with my daughter and this mess soon enough. I'll take the Jeep to the house and have my partner pick me up. Go ahead and take Bella to the hospital. I'll meet you kids there.

"Banner," my dad turned to his partner. "Meet me at my house in ten."

My dad gave me one last quick hug and clapped Edward on his shoulder, nodding for us to take our leave. Edward walked me to his car and opened the passenger door for me. It took a little effort for me to take my bulky down jacket off and buckle myself in with my right hand when I instinctively wanted to use my left. When Edward got in the car and saw my struggle, he clicked the belt in place.

As we pulled away from the curb, I took a last look and saw Jake and Leah heading into the house. Billy remained on the lawn, speaking to my dad. It only took one glance at Edward's soft expression for the floodgates to reopen. I sniffed and wiped my face with the sleeve of my red hoodie.

"Aw, Bella," Edward softly said to me. He lowered the radio and pulled me towards him, with his right arm wrapped around me. "I'm so sorry this happened."

"My hand hurts," I cried and turned my face inward to his chest. "Everything hurts so badly, Edward. He didn't want me. He threw me away."

"He completely disrespected you and your relationship," he replied. "Honestly, though, it can only go up from here, Bella. I'm sorry you probably really don't want to hear that right now. You should be so glad you're not living that woman's life. Look what she has to deal with – delivering a baby, dealing with her man-child boyfriend and whatever other issues they both have."

"Everything you say is true," I sniffed and hiccupped. "I know what you mean. It just kills me, though. How are you even here? You're like a guardian angel that just appears at the right moments."

"Well," he began, as he ran his hand through his hair. I leaned back into my seat and waited expectantly. "After you entered the airport, I saw your pictures that had fallen in the gutter. I picked them up and my heart broke for you. The expression on your face and the way your eyes lit up, it was so innocent and happy. When I got in the truck, I noticed on the seat that envelope. It had Jake's address on it. I opened it, saw the emails and quickly glanced at the first page.

"I knew I had to help you. I parked the truck and booked the earliest flight I could get on. Luckily another airline had one that was leaving close to what I hoped was your departure time. However, I wasn't sure which flight you were able to get on. When I landed in Seattle, there was a seat available on one of those little planes headed for Port Angeles, so it saved me the drive. My mom picked me up. It was sheer luck that I caught up with you here."

"Wow," I mused. "I don't know what to say. Um, thanks?"

"You don't have to thank me, Bella," he replied, chuckling a little. "I should thank you for hitting him first. It took all my energy not to deck the guy. I just didn't know what my place was as I stood there. That's sort of why I didn't stop you. While I was on the plane, I read through the emails. Curiosity got the best of me and I couldn't believe this was the man you loved. So, the closer I got to Seattle, the angrier I became. No one should treat women like that. It's just sick."

"I'm glad you didn't stop me," I said. For the moment, I felt free. Free from lies. "I'm sorry I involved you to this point. When we were here for Thanksgiving, I never thought in a million years you would get so tangled. I just felt so alone. Everyone has their lives set right now, I thought mine was too. In a span of weeks it was ripped away. I don't know what happens next."

"Bel, in a very weird and twisted way, I'm glad things happened the way they did," Edward said. "Having my cousins around, Jasper, Rosalie and you, makes me feel like I belong. I'm so happy you guys let me in the inner circle. I really am sorry though."

"That's the second time you've called me that," I pondered aloud. Filter, Bella, filter. I don't know why this boy always makes me blurt out what I'm thinking.

"What? Oh, is that okay?" He asked sincerely. "It just sort of happened earlier and it seemed like the most natural thing."

"Oh, no, it's totally fine," I answered quickly. "I just think it's cute."

Oh my God. Did I just say that? Come on you, steer the conversation back.

"Um, I do agree with you." I took my beanie off my head. "I'm glad we've become friends too. You know, that man standing on the lawn was not the Jake I knew. He was so cold and vacant. What can you do? If I was with that woman, I'd probably look like that too. I don't know."

"Bella!" Edward feigned shock. "You can't say things like that."

"Oh, don't act like your weren't thinking it," I arched my eyebrow at him, echoing Rosalie's words to me from the other night. "I'm sorry, that woman is a grownup."

"Bella, uh, we're grownups, if you haven't noticed," he replied.

"I know. Look, there's being a grownup and there's being a _grownup_," I said emphasizing the last words. "I mean, look, when we were six she was having her son at nineteen. Nineteen! Now to a six year old that would be a grownup."

"Shit. When you put it like that," he laughed. "Okay, you win. I'm not going to argue with you."

"Just remember that," I told him, laughing along with him. "I can probably argue about anything and win. Oh and I have a mean left hook."

I glanced out the window and saw we had arrived at the hospital. I hate hospitals. I try to avoid them at all costs. They have a smell, mixed between rubber, medicine and cold, hard, steel.

"Do we have to?" I whined, pouting my lower lip. "I'm sure I can just ice it with frozen peas or a raw steak or some other frozen food."

"Not the lip, little girl," Edward said dramatically as he placed his beanie back on his head. "Please don't torture me with the pout! You know my mom might actually have some peas we can put on your hand, if you want."

"Oh stop, let's get this over with," I giggled. I don't know how I'd become so easily distractible. For a brief moment, I actually felt like myself. After today's confrontation, continuing the silly banter seemed the easiest way for me to cope. Edward told me to wait while he got out and opened my door. I looked at my hand and it was starting to swell. I groaned. My fingers were becoming stiff and the pain had moved to my knuckles.

It was completely dark outside as we walked towards the front doors. Edward called his dad on his cell and carried my jacket. I kept my hand elevated and against my chest. The cold air sent shivers through me.

"My dad's finishing up on a patient, so we won't have to wait too long," Edward said to me as he led me to the plastic chairs in the emergency room. "I'm going to check you in. Stay here."

"Okay, Dad. I want a lollipop, too," I demanded and he replied with a darling crooked smile. I sat and people watched. I thought it would be some shit if Leah went into labor tonight. Not a moment later, a very familiar figure came running through the sliding doors to the reception station where Edward was talking to the older red headed nurse on duty. My jaw dropped at his sudden appearance.

It couldn't be. Could it? What are the chances? Jake took no notice of Edward. He bellowed out to the nurse that his wife was in labor. I slouched and pulled my hood over my head. Two tears rolled down my face. I made the mistake of looking at the entrance when Leah waddled in holding her belly, breathing hard. Billy guided her by her elbow to a chair on the other side of the seating area.

No one paid attention to me. I noticed Edward do a subtle double take with his eyes, and thankfully didn't say a word. A different nurse came out to assist Jake. With Jake's attention diverted, Edward leaned in and whispered something to the nurse that was helping him and casually walked back to me.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I nodded pitifully. "I asked the nurse to call my mother's name instead of yours. Let's move near that door so we'll be closer."

He draped his arm over my shoulders as he led us to a different set of chairs. I tried in vain not to look over to them and kept my head down. I sat with my face away from Jake, Billy and Leah and placed my head on Edwards's comforting shoulder. I put my left arm through his right trying to avoid my injured hand. He started humming quietly and it sounded familiar, catchy even. I didn't recognize it. Though I was quietly crying, I couldn't tell if it was because my hand hurt or because Jake was in my presence again – only this time he was having a baby. This was reality at its worst. Jake and Leah were doing breathing exercises that seemed to echo throughout the quiet lobby. Every time they exhaled, she moaned in pain and I cringed.

Edward rubbed his hand over my arm. I looked up as he took his beanie off and scratched his head, sending strands every which way. He smiled and crossed his eyes at me. I stifled a small giggle. We waited patiently without much conversation. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the door to the patient area opened and a nurse entered with a clipboard.

"Esme?" The nurse called out. I noticed it was on the quieter side. She had a kind face and looked directly at Edward. "Esme Cullen?"

"Let's go," Edward whispered in my ear. I didn't question anything walked over to the nurse. Edward protectively put his arm around my shoulders again, probably to keep me from looking back, which helped.

"Thanks, Claire," he said to the nurse. She led us down the sterile and cold hallway to a room.

"Hello Bella," Claire began. "We need to check your blood pressure first. Go ahead and remove your sweater. Edward, you should probably wait outside."

"Is it alright if he stayed?" I asked suddenly to the nurse in Scooby-Doo scrubs. The fear of being left alone hit me hard at that moment. "Please?"

"I won't leave. Is that okay, Claire?" He asked, dramatically batting his thick eyelashes at her. Claire shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Fine, fine," she relented. Edward helped me out of my sweater.

After asking some questions about the injury and running my vitals, Claire left us. Edward and I sat in silence. I thought about that song he was humming earlier.

"I have a question." I stated. Edward's eyes met mine. "What were you humming earlier?"

He laughed and his face reddened just a little. "Oh! Uh, it's your turn not to make fun, if I tell you."

"Scout's Honor," I said, trying hard to keep a straight face.

"Okay, it's from the movie 'Babe'. You know the one with the little pig," he told me. "It's the song those mice sing."

I burst out laughing. "I love that movie! I couldn't place the song. It's pretty catchy. You've seen that movie?"

Edward didn't have time to answer when the door to the room opened. A tall, older doctor, probably around my parents' age, strolled in. The name, Dr. Carlisle Cullen, was embroidered on his white coat. His blonde hair was combed back. I could see the family resemblance between father and son – they shared the same smile, nose and strong jaw line, however, Carlisle had piercing bright blue eyes.

"Hello son," Dr. Cullen greeted Edward warmly. "Who do we have here?"

"Dad, this is Bella Swan," Edward told him. "She's Alice's best friend from high school."

"Ah, the infamous Bella!" he exclaimed. "Lucy has regaled us over the years with stories of her daughter's shenanigans, and I'm fairly sure your name has been dropped once or twice."

Edward laughed and I stared at his dad. "Wow, um, it's nice to meet you Dr. Cullen. Though, in all fairness, like her mother, I was just a victim and along for the ride with Alice's adventures."

"Please, Bella, call me Carlisle," he stated. I nodded. Carlisle created a comfortable atmosphere. "Let's take a look at your hand."

I outstretched my left hand to his. Carlisle's hands were warm and he intensely examined my range of motion, mobility and flexibility of my fingers. I winced when he bent my first two fingers. When he was done, he asked a couple of more questions.

"So, how did this happen?" I glanced quickly at Edward.

"Um, I fell?" Knowing full well I was not convincing anybody, I continued. "Against my ex-fiancé's face, possibly breaking his nose?"

Carlisle just looked at me, keeping his professional composure in place. "Son, you're not the cause of this are you?"

"Dad!" Edward exclaimed. "Of course not! I merely rescued a damsel in distress."

"It's true, Dr. Cullen." I defended Edward immediately. "Edward got caught up in a terrible situation I've been in and he really did come to my rescue today. You can talk to my dad when he gets here. I promise."

"Hey, I'm a parent, I need to ask the questions," he said. "Well I'm glad you two are alright. Now, Bella, we're going to need to x-ray your hand so I can see the extent of the damage. From a superficial exam, it appears that your fingers are not broken. Nonetheless, I want to make sure about your knuckles. Claire will be take you back to Radiology. It won't take too long."

Claire returned and we left to get my x-rays.

"Thanks again, Dr. Cullen," I turned back to him. "Edward can you please call my dad and make sure he's here? My phone's in the hoodie pocket."

"You're welcome, and please, you are a part of our family, call me Carlisle," the doctor emphasized. I was shocked and nodded.

"Sure thing, Bel." Edward got up and took my cell.

After getting my x-rays done and Claire walked me back to the room, my dad was sitting in one of the chairs. All three men looked guilty when I walked in. They were obviously talking about me. I narrowed my eyes at all of them.

"Hey sweetie," my dad greeted me. He wrapped his arms around me once again. I lost my serious stance and let him hold me.

"You were talking about me weren't you?" I mumbled into his chest.

"Now, why would you think that?" Edward winked at me. I just groaned and rolled my eyes at him.

Carlisle left to view my x-rays. The room became quiet almost immediately. I awkwardly watched my dad and Edward.

"So, honey," my dad cleared his throat. "Edward filled me in on most of what happened today and I must say, I've never seen anything like this."

"Yeah, um, me either," I said softly. "I still have no idea how this happened. He still didn't explain himself. This is so stupid! He's right outside these doors having a son! In what universe is this okay? How can you tell someone you love them and just change your mind like it doesn't matter?"

They both stayed quiet and I knew it was because there were more questions than answers. Carlisle came back with the film of my hand. He placed it on a backlit board. I squinted at my skeleton as if I knew what I was looking at.

"Well, the good news is, you don't have a bad break," he stated. "If you look here, you have a small hairline fracture."

Carlisle pointed to a very small line on the knuckle area by my middle finger. We all leaned forward to get a better look.

"Though I won't need to cast your arm, I will have to splint it with a brace. You'll need to wear it three weeks at a minimum. At that time it will be determined it if needs to stay on longer." Well it's better than I thought. I guess I was going to be a righty for a month.

Nurse Claire returned with the brace and some other medical items to prep my hand. After it was all done I was wearing a black brace that stopped halfway to my elbow. It sort of looked like a wrist guard that's worn for sports. She gave me specific instructions how to care for my injury. When everything was set and ready to go, Carlisle walked us out. My dad finished up my paperwork at the reception desk.

"Bella, it was a pleasure finally meeting you and I'm sorry it was not under better circumstances," he casually said. "Please take care of your hand. If you still have pain and the aspirin doesn't help, let me know and I can write you a prescription for something stronger."

"Thanks for everything, Carlisle," I told him. "Hey, Dad, can we please go get some food? I'm starving."

Carlisle and Edward laughed and I saw my dad shake his head as he signed something. I knew exactly what he was thinking - only I would think to get food when I just had spent the last hour at a hospital. What can I say, my tummy growled and the peanuts from the plane weren't enough.

"Alright, kid," my dad turned back to us. "Yes, we can go eat. Carlisle, Edward, would you like to join us?"

"I would love to join you, however, I still have my rounds to finish up. Enjoy your dinner," Carlisle replied. "Edward, please call your mother and let her know your plans."

"Sure, Dad," Edward spoke up politely. "Thank you for the invitation, Officer Swan."

"Edward, call me Charlie," my dad said to him. "Okay, then. Thanks, doc, for fixing up my kid.

They shook hands. We said our goodbyes and walked through the emergency room waiting area. Lucky for me, there was no sign of Jake or anyone. I actually sighed with relief.

"Dad, where's your partner?" I asked when we made it outside. It was freezing and Edward helped me slip my jacket on. I put my beanie back on my head.

"I dropped him off at the station and got my car," he replied. "Okay Bella, your choice. What's on the menu tonight?"

"Um…" I tapped my finger against my chin thoughtfully and paused.

"Today, honey," my dad said chuckling.

"Burgers," I answered, sticking my tongue out.

We decided to head over to the local burger place and took both cars, so Edward could go home afterwards. I rode with my dad. On the way over, I checked my phone for messages and saw six voicemails and eleven texts. They were all from Alice. I listened to her frantic voice asking where I was, what was going on and to please call her. Then they changed to concern, asking if I was okay. The last one was very calm, and she explained that Edward called her and told her what happened.

The restaurant, if you could call it that, had a nostalgic 1950s feel to it. We all ordered burgers and fries. I threw in a vanilla coke and mozzarella sticks. My dad made small talk, asking Edward questions about himself. It wasn't in that overbearing, over protective father way either, which made me happy. That's what I loved about my dad, he was a cop when he needed to be, and an old softie most of the time. When the waitress dropped off the cheese sticks, I immediately grabbed one.

"Son of a –" I mumbled with the hot cheese sitting in my mouth. "Hot!"

"It never fails," my dad erupted in laughter. Edward just looked at my dad smiling. "Every time this girl orders cheese sticks she doesn't wait for them to cool and shovels them in, effectively burning her mouth."

Edward laughed and I just glared at my dad.

"It's not my fault!" I said loudly. "It just happens. They're just so good!"

"Can't fault you there," Edward chimed in, eating some gooey fried cheese. Our burgers arrived and we ate hungrily. We talked about plans for Christmas and New Year's. Internally I debated between staying in Forks for Christmas or fly immediately to my mom's. I wasn't scheduled to leave until the twenty-ninth to fly out to Florida. Thankfully, work let me take a longer vacation than normal. I wasn't due back to until the second week of January.

Edward's family was hosting Christmas Eve dinner and Alice's mom was doing Christmas Day. I hung on every word he said when he described his family's holiday plans. I was mildly jealous that they had these traditions. I pushed any holiday thinking out of my mind and focused on my cheeseburger.

When dinner was finished, my dad paid for all us, despite Edward's protests. It was drizzling when we walked out of the restaurant to our cars.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around Edward." My dad shook hands with him. "Thanks for everything today and thank your father again."

"Yes, sir," Edward replied. "I will be sure to do so." He turned and gave me a quick hug. "I'll talk to you later, Bella."

"Okay," I replied. "See you."

Edward got in his car and took off. My dad and I drove home in relative silence. I was grateful he wasn't firing off questions at me. I didn't feel good or bad, I just felt numb. When we got in the house I went straight to the bathroom, after saying good night to my dad. I carefully unwrapped my hand and took a long, warm shower. As I lathered up my hair with shampoo with my uninjured hand, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I literally gasped for air and the tears exploded from my eyes.

It was over – for real this time. I was never going to be with Jake ever again. It will never be the way it was and I couldn't fix it. I was Humpty Dumpty and not all the king's horses could put me back together. I didn't even have the comfort of knowing if our relationship had been real. I didn't even get real answers from either one of them. I felt like the intruder in their relationship, not the other way around. I sobbed under the spray of the shower and tried to muffle my cries.

After I finished, I toweled off, braided my wet hair as best as I could, put my pajamas on and took some aspirin for the pain. I got under the covers and just lie there in the dark. I knew sleep wasn't going to come easy because I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Crying into my pillow, so many thoughts came at once. It was a jumbled mess of memories, the good, the bad, and the ridiculous. By two in the morning, I knew it was useless to force myself to sleep. I sat up in the dark and stared around my room. The blinds were drawn and it was pitch black outside. The light from the streetlamp poured in casting eerie shadows over the floor and bed.

I wanted to disappear completely - nothing extravagant, just a fade to black sort of exit. I switched on the bedside lamp and walked over to the bookcase. I pulled out a blank notebook and started to write. Every thought that came to the forefront of my mind was written. Some were complete sentences, others were just words. I wrote until the light streaming in my room changed to sunlight. It was dawn when the page became blurry and my writing strayed from the lines. I rubbed my eyes and finally succumbed to sleep. Unpleasant dreams haunted me.

_I heard a baby cry. When I looked around I was in a hospital room surrounded by everyone I knew. Alice and Jasper were lively chatting, Emmett and Rosalie were cooing over something, and my dad was congratulating Billy Black with a cigar. As I sat propped up by pillows in a hospital bed, someone stroked my cheek and I turned my head into it._

"_I'm a dad!" Jake quietly said to me. "We have a little girl!"_

_I lost my voice. I didn't register what he was saying. I looked at him with wide eyes. He was so happy and free. He was the love of my life. Jake hugged me tightly, though awkwardly due to my position on the bed. _

"_What?" I asked. My voice wasn't right; it was higher and less scratchy._

"_Oh, she's beautiful, Babe," he whispered excitedly. _

"_We had a girl?" I asked again. He nodded. When I looked up at everyone, they were staring at me with smiling faces. Their smiles were too smiley, toothy almost. As I studied their expressions, they were robotic, cold and unfamiliar._

"_Congratulations," a beautiful, velvet voice broke my stare. When Edward's eyes met mine, his face was sad, full of pity. _

_In seeing Edward, I suddenly remembered that I wasn't the one who was pregnant. I wasn't with Jake. This never happened. I felt the room spin and my point of view shifted. I was no longer in the hospital bed. I was now staring at Leah, who was lying under the covers. Edward had just finished congratulating her and Jake went back to fuss over her. _

_No one paid attention with me. My voice was gone when I tried to speak. I couldn't move. I watched Jake kiss Leah and the nurse brought their daughter to them. After struggling, I finally spoke. _

"_Jake?" I meekly called. He heard me and snapped his head in my direction. I was met with a piercing gaze. _

"_Get out!" He said in his flat, emotionless voice. "You don't belong here, Bella."_

I woke up gasping, crying and completely disoriented. I sat up, rubbed my face and looked around my bedroom. I was home, in Forks. I looked at my left hand and it was still wrapped up in the brace. It started to throb. Yesterday's chaos flooded my mind. It really did happen. I was dumbfounded. I looked at the clock and saw it was a little after noon. I felt completely exhausted.

I got up and went downstairs. My dad left me a note, letting me know he was at work and would be home later. I poured a bowl of cereal, sat at the kitchen counter and slowly ate without tasting anything. I needed to call Alice. After eating another spoonful, I walked over to my bag and pulled out my phone.

"Bella!" Alice cried after the first ring. I pulled it away from my ear.

"Hey, Alice," I replied, clearing my throat. I walked back to the kitchen and emptied the remainder of my cereal down the drain.

"Oh my God! Are you okay? How's your hand? Tell me everything!" She was going a mile a minute. I shook my head to myself.

"I'm fine. Actually, my hand hurts but what can you do?" I flexed my fingers and pain shot through my arm. I grimaced. "I just can't believe it, Al. Seriously. That's it. It's over. Last night, when Edward took me to the hospital, Jake and Leah came in not too long after. She had gone into labor and didn't pay attention to us. He had a baby, Alice. Jake had a baby."

"No freakin' way. Really?! I can't even imagine them being blissfully happy after that kind of afternoon," she mused. "Imagine the minute after your kid's born, the high wears off and now you have to deal with a screaming infant, and a boyfriend you don't trust."

"I know right?" I replied. "Yesterday was so weird."

"Tell me everything that happened," she said. "Edward called me twice yesterday. First, to tell me he was taking the next flight out to go after you and then later while you were getting your x-rays. He said you were fine, but no details. He just wanted me to know that you were alright."

I relayed everything beginning with the email that started it all to me punching Jake in the face and my awkward introduction to Edward's father. Alice's loud reactions only pushed me to include every detail. I was so wrapped up in the story that it felt like this happened to someone else.

"You punched him?!" Alice squealed. "Oh my God! Bel, I've never seen you even step on a bug. You even stop for animals crossing the street. I can't believe you hit him. That's amazing. How'd that feel?"

"Well at first, it felt amazing. I didn't even know I was going to do it. It just happened. His face made a crunching noise. I've never heard that sort of noise before."

"Wow," she replied. "That's insane. How was it being face to face with her?"

"You know, it wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be," I told her honestly. "Well, I was nervous as hell and pretty irate. She was more confused and hysterical. I actually began to feel a little sorry for her."

"What?!" Alice screeched. "Really. What changed your opinion?"

"I wouldn't say she won me over or anything. We're not going to be friends after this by any means. I just saw how pathetic she is and couldn't believe she's trying to create this ideal life that doesn't exist. I don't know. Seeing her in a physical sense made everything even more real. I think if I hadn't come home to confront Jake, there'd be this sense of unfinished business."

"I wish I could have been there, Bella," Alice said gently. "I would have loved to help you rip his head off."

"Hey, hang on a sec," I interrupted her. My phone beeped from an incoming call. "Hello?

"Hi, Bella," a deep voice greeted me.

"Hey, Edward, what's up?" I asked. I was surprised to hear from him. "Wait, hold on." I clicked back over. "Al, let me call you back?"

"Okay, bye!" She hung up and I went back to my other call.

"Hey, sorry. What's going on?" I inquired.

"I was wondering if you'd feel up to hanging out tomorrow," Edward asked tentatively. "The pest doesn't fly in for a couple of days and I thought we could do something."

"Oh! Um, uh, sure," I giggled nervously at his reference to Alice and his invitation. "What'd you have in mind?"

"Can you be ready by nine?" He asked.

"That's kind of early," I playfully groaned. "Yeah, that's fine."

He laughed. Edward was going to pick me up and I needed to dress comfortably and outdoorsy. I gave him directions to the house and we hung up. I walked back upstairs and sat on my bed. Though I was excited to get out of the house, an unpleasant feeling gnawed at me. I twisted my non-existent ring on my left hand and the tears flowed.

I didn't even realize I fell asleep when I heard my dad calling for me. I hadn't changed out of my pajamas. I walked down downstairs and hugged my dad.

"I spoke to your mom today," my dad said. I groaned internally.

"You called her?" I asked. "Da-ad! Why?"

"I had to let her know what was going on, kid," he answered. "She wants you to call her when you feel up to it."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," I told him. "I just can't. It's too much."

He nodded understandingly to me as he hung his coat in the closet.

"Dad," I began hesitantly. "I was wondering, would it be a big deal if I went to visit Mom earlier than New Year's, like Friday?"

I cringed and waited for an explosion or something.

"You won't stay for Christmas?" My dad looked hurt.

"It's not that I don't want to, Dad. I don't know if I can really spend Christmas here. I think it's going to be too hard. I don't think I can do it," my voice wavered. "Dad, we haven't had a Christmas alone since I came back."

"Honey, just think about it before you take off again," he said. "I would really like to celebrate Christmas with you. I don't want you unhappy."

"Thanks, Dad," I hugged him.

"Any time, kid," he kissed the top of my head. "Do you want some dinner?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to go to bed," I told him.

"Okay, let me know if you need anything." I walked back upstairs and jumped in the shower again. There weren't enough distractions to keep my mind from wandering to Jake and bursting into tears.

After I dried off and put my pajamas back on, I combed some gel in my hair with my right hand and pulled it up into messy twists. I set my alarm for eight, then took some cold medicine in hopes of a dreamless sleep. I prayed Jake didn't haunt my dreams because I wanted him next to me so badly.

I woke before the alarm went off and stretched. I felt slightly hungover, probably from the cold medicine. I got up and threw on a black long sleeved thermal, layered with a maroon v-neck tee and some jeans. I found myself on my knees digging through the closet for some old brown hiking boots and my red backpack. After locating them, I went to the bathroom and ran the hair dyer over my slightly damp hair, which curled in perfect waves from the gel. I pinned the front up, brushed my teeth and finished getting ready. Everything I did this morning felt so robotic and mindless. I even attempted to put my makeup on, minus the usual shimmery eyeshadow, just some eyeliner and mascara. It was hard with the brace in the way and the stiffness of my fingers. There was no way I would event attempt to use my right hand. I'd probably poke my eyes out. I sat on the bed with my boots next to me and a lone tear escaped. I sniffed and scolded myself. I couldn't let Edward find me balled up in the corner today with raccoon eyes from smeared mascara.

I packed up my backpack with my music player, a notebook, a book, a camera, and a pen. I thought they might come in handy since I still didn't know what he had in mind. When I went downstairs, I saw that my dad left me another note. I wrote on the back letting him know my whereabouts. I continued to load the bag with my cell, wallet and some granola bars from the pantry.

As I sat in the living room and waited for Edward Cullen to pick me up, I contemplated how in the world he got me to agree to spend the day with him. The doorbell rang, distracting me from the stomachache that was forming. I opened the door and was met with a bundled up Edward. He was clad in jeans, a hooded sweatshirt and a beanie. He still hadn't shaved and the scruff complimented his strong jaw. His eyes shone bright and he grinned warmly at me.

"Good morning, Bella," he greeted me. "Are you ready? I'm hoping we can beat the rain for at least a couple of hours. It's a bit chilly today."

"Morning!" I replied back, my voice on the scratchy side. "I just need to grab my jacket and we can go. Should I bring an umbrella? Oh, come in!"

I giggled when I realized I'd forgotten my manners and left him standing in the doorway. He laughed with me and entered. I showed him to the living room and he sat while I retrieved my jacket and beanie from my room.

"How was your day yesterday?" He casually asked. Well, actually yelled to me.

"It was alright," I answered loudly. "I spoke to Alice and told her all the gritty details. Thanks for calling her by the way."

"Sure," he said. "I called her before I boarded the plane. She asked me to keep her in the loop. She was so worried about you that she texted me the whole day. Got everything?"

"I think?" I replied, as I clambered back down the stairs. "I packed my bag with some stuff, oh, and granola bars because I don't really know what you have planned."

I showed him the contents of my bag and he smiled as he plucked out one of the bars. He proceeded to open the packaging and eat it. I just smiled, shook my head and locked up. We walked towards his four door silver Volvo. It was immaculate, clean and shiny. Even the rims were upgraded, similar to the car color, and looked sharp. I arched my eyebrow at Edward as if to say, this is yours too? I hadn't really paid attention to it the day he showed up at Jake's house. He just smiled that dazzling smile of his at me.

"This used to be my car. When I moved to L.A., I needed a vehicle that could haul all my stuff, so I left it here and bought the truck," he answered my unspoken question. I always thought it was hot when a man treated his cars with such care.

"I see," I mused. "Why a Volvo, if I may ask? Of all cars? Aren't these mom cars?"

"Says the lady with the rusted monstrosity of metal," he teased. Of course, I interrupted.

"Hey now, I keep it clean and it has a shiny new coat of paint," I told him as he started the engine. "It just doesn't run right now. That's not my fault. That truck's over fifty years old. What do you expect? It's vintage. And it sparkles. I don't see you sparkling, mister."

"Okay, okay." He looked me and threw his hands up in surrender. "Besides Volvos are not 'mom cars', thank you very much."

When he quoted me, he actually used air quotes. Who does that? My laughter was cut short when I clicked my seatbelt in place and Edward hit the accelerator. We sped down the road at top speed. I squealed in shock and Edward laughed. He had such a care free laugh too. It was an exhilarating distraction.

"So what's the secret location?" I asked, as he turned down the highway. "Are you kidnapping me?"

"Yes, I'm kidnapping you and you'll never see your precious broken truck ever again," he sarcastically answered. "I'm glad you brought snacks because I'm going to take you to the woods and leave you there for the wolves."

"Ha-ha, Mr. Cullen, that's so freakin' amusing," I giggled and rolled my eyes. "No, really, tell me where we're going!"

"I don't know if I should," he smirked at me. Edward totally helped start my day on the right foot. He was perfect at distracting me from the inner turmoil of my mind. I felt safe knowing we were strictly friends, nothing more, nothing less. Since I was now privy to one of his weaknesses, from the hospital visit, I gave him the ultimate pout - very dramatic and very obnoxious.

"Ohhh, Bella! Not the bottom lip!" He laughed. "You're lucky I'm driving and can't fall under the spell of the pout."

"Well?" I prompted, smirking at my accomplishment.

"Okay," he relented. "When I was younger, I would hike up into the mountains and look for places to explore. Once in awhile, Emmett or some of my friends would tag along, other times I would just take off. I found this really cool spot that I think you'd like. It's very scenic and that's all I'm saying."

"You have other friends?" I feigned disbelief.

"Of course I have other friends," he replied. "What, you think Emmett's my only link to the outside world?"

"No!" I laughed. "I just never get to hear stories of other friends outside our circle. Well except for Emmett because he talks to everyone and thinks they're all his buddies. Alice and Jasper are at center of my world. I mean I do have friends at school and a couple at work."

"One of my closest friends, Marcus," he began, "is a photographer for a travel magazine. He travels all over the world, so we're more like online buddies now. He sends me the most amazing photos. We grew up together and he was on the baseball team in high school."

"That's awesome," I answered. "I would love to travel around and visit everything. I desperately want to go to Hawaii and Fiji. Oh, and Australia. Anywhere that's sunny, bright, and has beaches where you can hide from other people."

He laughed at my comment. "Really. _You_ are not a people person? I hadn't noticed with your very candid communication skills."

Edward gestured to my bandaged arm. I suddenly became very embarrassed and could have sworn I was turning ten shades of red. After I didn't have a sassy retort for him, the silence became a little awkward. I looked out the window and we were surrounded by a dense forest with just the winding road ahead of us. I barely registered the speed of the car anymore.

"Hey," he gently nudged my arm. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out mean or anything."

"Oh, um, no," I stuttered. The nervousness returned and I still hadn't been able to filter my thoughts around him. "I just got embarrassed. It's not you. I've never physically hit someone like that before. I've tried not to think about that aspect. I wish it felt better."

"Well, it'll heal soon enough," Edward said knowingly.

"Yes, that's true, but I meant the crushing of his face. I wish I felt better about that," I said. I heard Edward inhale through his nose.

"Never feel bad about that. I think it took courage and strength." His voice was very even and eerily calm. "He's lucky that's all you did."

"Thanks, Edward," I looked at his profile. He glanced sideways at me and offered a smile.

"We're almost there," he changed the subject, which was fine with me.

"Yay!" I bounced in my seat. I was excited to see this secret place and I was almost sure I'd never been there before.

Edward finally reached a turn out on the road and drove down a narrower one. Not twenty minutes later, he parked. There was a slight breeze and thankfully no rain yet. He wouldn't let me get out of the car until he opened it for me. I just giggled and waited. As I strapped on my backpack, he opened the trunk, put on his jacket and proceeded to pull out other items. I got my camera out and started shooting around me.

"Are we having a picnic, Ranger Cullen?" I asked excitedly as I snapped a picture of him. He tucked a blanket under his arm and now carried a guitar case.

"Maybe," he slyly answered. "Follow me."

I followed him down the trail. I was glad my hiking boots were worn in and comfortable. The scene around me was beautiful. I took pictures of a tree, pinecones, and rocks - typical, generic nature things. When I tried to snap a picture of myself, Edward caught me. I tried to play it off, not very well, I might add. He walked back to me, held out his hand for my camera and took a picture of the two of us. It would have come out perfect, except that I laughed right when the flash went off. He had the perfect smile and I had total scrunched up laughing face.

We continued on the trail and I didn't lose my footing once. Though there was some snow covered areas, it wasn't too terribly slippery. We hiked for a little bit and made small talk about the area.

"Are you ready?" Edward suddenly asked. I looked up and we had reached an opening between the trees. I nodded. "Keep your eyes open."

I followed Edward as he walked backwards and watched me. When I reached the opening, I gasped. He wore a smug expression. There was a clearing that stretched westward and ended at a cliff. Across the ravine was a waterfall. There wasn't very much water flowing, though you could see from the stains on the mountain face that when the weather changed the abundance of water would return.

This place was amazing. I walked away from Edward towards the center and just took pictures. I even took one of Edward following me. Trees and boulders seemed to be placed perfectly, as if on purpose. The gray clouds high above contrasted with the granite, the greenery of the trees and the patches of snow.

"Edward," I turned to face him. "This is un-freakin'-believable! This place is gorgeous!"

"It's great, huh?" he answered. He set down his guitar case and backpack. "I've never brought anyone with me here before. You're the first. Well, I've seen other hikers, I didn't know them."

I laughed. "Well thank you, Ranger Cullen. I'm in shock. The air's so crisp and fresh."

"Are you ready for lunch?" He asked me as he threw the blanket in the air and spread it out on the ground. We'd moved closer towards the cliff.

"You made lunch?" I asked incredulously.

"Bella, you need to realize that I am an amazing man," he smirked and brushed his shoulder off.

"I apologize, sir. I forgot who I was speaking to," I said as I rolled my eyes and laughed at him. I straightened out the corners of the blanket.

He sat on his knees and began unpacking the food. There were different containers and zipped baggies with bread.

"Here's a plate." He handed it to me. "I have turkey, ham, mayo, mustard, cheese, lettuce and tomatoes."

"Is that potato salad?" I pointed to it and he nodded. "That's my favorite! Wow, this is awesome."

"My mom made it," he explained. "She perfected the recipe years ago. She won't even tell me how she makes it. I've tried to figure it out and I can't."

We made our sandwiches and I resisted throwing a pickle at him. I was about to ask him if he had anything to drink and he pulled out two little bottles of Dr. Pepper.

"Edward Cullen, you certainly know how to impress a girl," I blurted out.

"So, all it takes is some Dr. Pepper, eh?" He laughed at me and I joined in.

We ate and talked about nothing in particular. When we finished, I helped Edward clean up. I took some pictures of the waterfall and the clearing. With my camera and notebook in hand, I wandered away from our picnic area and just breathed in the fresh air. When I looked back at Edward, he had settled on the blanket again and brought out his guitar. I did an internal happy dance. Who doesn't love a boy with a guitar? I could hear the light strum of his guitar; however, the music was lost to sounds of the waterfall and the breeze in the trees. I felt so small standing among the trees and mountains. It was a strange feeling.

I sat on a rock that faced the ravine and started to write. Memories of Jake and I flooded my mind at once. I remembered days we'd spent like this – just us. I missed him immediately and felt completely stupid for feeling like that. I began to cry and couldn't stop. I felt overwhelmed by everything – being here with Edward, not connected to Jake anymore and the pain in my hand. I pulled my knees to my chest, crossed my arms and buried my head. I barely even noticed when the faint music ceased.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. I screamed when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh my God!" I breathed. When I turned, Edward stood behind me with an apologetic look.

"Sorry," he said. "When I looked up, you were shaking and I thought I should check on you. I didn't mean to startle you _again."_

"I'm sorry I screamed bloody murder," I replied as I wiped my face with my sleeve. "Who else would be out here? A bear, maybe? I mean, they don't politely tap people on their shoulders."

He laughed lightly and took my hand. "Come sit with me on the blanket, Bel."

I followed him back and sat cross-legged in front of him. He pulled out the well loved guitar – the finish was worn and scratched, with some faded stickers on it.

"When I was fifteen, I wanted to be a rock star," he explained. "I was so excited when I got this guitar. It took me awhile to get the hang of it. I have a hard time reading notes, so I tend to play by ear. I keep this one at my parents because I want their house to still feel like my home. You know?"

I nodded. "Can I strum it? I've never played one before. It seems like something I'd want to learn some day."

"Sure," he set his fingers a certain way and handed me the pick with his other hand. I passed over the strings with my right hand and a solid note rang out. I giggled.

"Now, keep a pace like this," he moved his hand without hitting the strings, to show me how to strum. I counted the seconds between each stroke. I smiled and concentrated.

Suddenly a song started, albeit slower than normal. I couldn't believe I was actually playing. I grinned wider at him. He began to hum to the old rock tune. I recognized it and loved that he also knew it.

"So what happened to your rock n' roll dreams?" I asked when he finished my unofficial lesson.

"Well, for one, I'm not that good, and two, I sort of grew out of it," he casually answered. "I enjoy playing for myself. It's very relaxing. Besides, I have some friends who are in bands, so sometimes they let me join."

I nodded and felt something wet hit my face. I looked up and the clouds had darkened. It was slowly starting to rain.

"We should go," Edward said as he packed up the guitar. I got up and helped fold the blanket. We made the trek back to the car and kept up a light conversation. Edward started telling terrible knock knock jokes. My sides hurt from laughing so much and the walk back to the car didn't feel as long.

I handed Edward the blanket as he packed the trunk. "Thank you for a great day. I needed it."

"Really? I'm glad," he replied, shutting the trunk. "I know you're in a lot of pain and things don't feel okay. I believe everything will get better, Bella. Good things will come to you because you deserve them. Don't give me that look, it's true."

Edward caught me squinting at him in disbelief. He made me smile, though. He reached for a hug and I held on to him tight. There were no more words. The minute he started the car, I fell asleep. I didn't wake up until we reached my house. He walked me to the door, even though I told him he didn't have to.

"I want a copy of those pictures," he demanded from me.

"Sure, sure, sure," I waved him off. "Thanks again. For everything."

"Any time, Bel," he answered genuinely. With a warm smile he continued. "Seriously. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call me."

I pulled his beanie over his face and we laughed. Edward pulled it up, turned and waved. I waited until he left to walk inside.

"Is that you, honey?" I could hear my dad from the TV room.

"Of course it is, Dad. Who did you think it was?" I answered and walked over to him.

"I don't know a polite burglar who knocks?" He replied and I snickered.

"Yeah, I'd like to see someone try to rob you," I retorted. "Did you eat dinner?"

"I did," he said. "There's some leftovers in the fridge."

"Yum. Thanks," I told him.

"Did you call your mother?" He asked me suddenly.

Crap, I thought. "I was just going to." My dad nodded at me.

I grabbed my cell before I walked into the kitchen and checked the time. It was still early enough to call her. As I pulled out the containers, I dialed her number.

"Hello?" My mom answered on the third ring.

"Hi, Mom," I slowly said. I closed my eyes and sat at the kitchen table. This was going to be a long night.


	9. And It Was My Heart on the Line

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Sorry for the wait, kids…enjoy!

If you remember in the last chapter, Bella basically kicked Jake's ass and their relationship is done. Edward and Bella spent a lovely afternoon together.

**[Chapter 9: And It Was My Heart on the Line]**

On the morning of Christmas Eve, I was staring out of my bay window in my bedroom. The ground and everything surrounding the street was blanketed in white. It was so serene and quiet. I looked at the clock and the numbers just switched to seven a.m. I didn't hear my dad moving around the house and assumed he went to work. I had been up for a little while, as I had suddenly developed insomnia in the last couple of days and getting three hours of sleep – tops.

I got up from the window bench that I occupied for the last couple hours and quietly made my way downstairs. The house was silent despite my muted footsteps and creaks of the floorboards. I walked into the kitchen and made some hot chocolate. Shivering from the cold, I ran to the thermostat and cranked up the heat. After I poured myself a cup, I plopped down on the couch and wrapped a blanket around me.

I had almost ten hours of free time until my dad and I needed to head over to the Cullens'. Edward's family was hosting dinner and his mother and Alice's mother graciously invited us over. I tried to decline, but neither would hear of it. Alice even showed up on our doorstep and spoke with my dad while I hid in my room. Since that day in the clearing with Edward, I avoided my friends and only spoke to Alice on the phone. I just didn't want to face any of them or talk about the fallout. I still had a week left with my dad before I flew to Florida -Jacksonville to be exact. After our talk the other night, my mom actually listened to me without interrupting. She kept her anger in check and persuaded me to keep my travel plans. Most of the time, I feel like my mother and I speak two different languages, but I was dying to see her. I missed her warmth and smile. I missed her unconditional love for me.

The low sounds of the TV lulled me into a fitful sleep. My dreams constantly starred Jake. No matter the situation, they were always the same – a typical day, with him and me together, some romance and in the end, he would vanish. On the really bad nights, Leah would appear with that triumphant sneer plastered on her haggard face.

I woke to something gently shaking me and when I opened my eyes, Alice was staring at me. I screamed. When I tried to get up, my body got tangled in the blanket and I fell off the couch.

"Oh my God, Bella! Are you okay?" Alice screeched as she tried to help me up.

"Jesus!" I said, harsher than I intended. I rubbed the back of my head. "What the hell?" I folded up the blanket and sat back on the couch. Alice sat beside me and I noticed it was lightly snowing outside.

"I tried calling to see if you wanted to hang out before we head over to Edward's," Alice replied. She was dressed warmly in black skinny jeans tucked into black knee-high Uggs, a fitted dark green plaid flannel and dark green beanie. The ends of her hair were peeking out from beneath it.

"What time is it?" I took a sip of my hot chocolate and it was stone cold. I flinched.

"It's almost one," she said, glancing at the cable box.

"What?" I cried in disbelief.

"I like how you're concerned that it's one and not how I let myself in," she laughed. I just looked at her, still in my sleepy confusion and shook my head.

"Like I'm going to start asking that question almost six years later," I told her smiling. As long as I'd known Alice, she had no qualms about letting herself in mine or Jasper's house. It was just so her. "I'm sorry I didn't answer the phone earlier. I've just been really tired and –"

"Oh my God!" Alice cried suddenly. I just looked at her and she reached for my braced hand. "Your hand," she whimpered.

Alice's wide blue-gray eyes immediately watered. I panicked. She launched herself against me in an embrace. I willed myself not to cry. My armor was steeled in place. "Oh, Al, it's okay," I held her and she sniffed a little.

"He's such a bastard! He's sick. He's totally sick!" Alice was fired up. "He was our friend and now he's…he's just this loser! He's caused everyone unnecessary pain. It doesn't make any sense. How could he pull this? "

My chest felt constricted and my heart ached. It physically hurt. Who knew you could feel a broken heart? I couldn't hear her rant and agree. I missed him and I was angry at him. I was a conflict of emotion. I quickly excused myself like I needed to use the restroom and ran to the one upstairs. I locked the door and turned on the shower in hopes of drowning out the noise. A loud sob escaped from my mouth and I slid down the side of the counter. I grabbed the towel that hung from the rack, buried my face against it and cried. It was one of those awful gut wrenching, hiccupping, hyperventilating cries. One thought constantly plagued my mind – why?

"Bella?" I heard Alice as she knocked on the door. "Are you alright?" I froze and then her voice quietly mumbled something unintelligible.

"Yeah?" My voice squeaked out in a rasp. Damn, so much for pretending nothing's wrong. "I'll, uh, be right out." I groaned as I got up and switched off the water.

"Let me in," she insisted and jiggled the handle. She then said another strange thing. "I'm trying, but the damn door's locked."

"Alice, I'll be right there," I replied. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and cringed. My hair had pretty much fallen out of the rubber band that held it back and my face was blotchy and red from crying. My braced hand even began to throb a little.

"Isabella Swan, open this damn door or so help me…" she trailed off as I swung it open. One of her hands was still mid-knock, while the other held her cell. "Shit. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I love you and you're in pain. I'm just so mad about everything and there's nothing I can do about it."

"At least she kicked that mother fucker's ass. I would have paid to see that," I faintly heard Rosalie's voice through the phone.

I laughed weakly. Then I realized I punched a man – a grown ass man who stood well over six feet and was solid muscle. I began to laugh hysterically while Alice just gave me a questioning look and I could hear Rose ask what was going on. I loudly told them both my thought and Alice burst into giggles. It was an honest to goodness belly laugh. Rosalie's chuckles could be heard through the speaker.

"Oh my and your cousin…" I said between laughs and breaths. "He didn't…know…what…to do...he just…stood there…" Alice laughed even harder.

"I know!" She squealed. "He told me. Edward said he got there all ready to defend you, but you beat him to it. He'd never seen a girl punch someone like that. Then he said there was just crap thrown all over the lawn, like a tornado ripped through it."

"Hell, who would have thought that Bella had it in her to physically assault someone?" Rosalie cackled into the phone. "I mean, getting a verbal lashing from you is one thing, but manhandling a dude? Jeez."

"Well, I'm glad I was able to put on a good show," I joked. "I'm sure the neighbors got a thrill too. It was probably the highlight of their day."

Alice just shook her head at me. "Bella, you're so lucky Jake didn't retaliate or even _her._ Well, she did call the cops on you. I wished I could have seen her face when she realized that it was your dad that showed up."

"No shit! Em didn't tell me that part!" Rose's voice screeched. "No fuckin' way! That's classic!"

"He did!" I laughed. "You should have seen both of their faces. It was unreal." Our laughter slowed a bit. "Alice, I can't believe Edward followed me here."

"He's a good guy, Bel," she responded. "I feel like our group is complete now. Edward feels completely included and he, like Em and Jas, would do anything for us girls. If that means following your crazy ass on an adventure, he'd do it, as you can see."

"Damn, I wish we were there with you guys," Rosalie interrupted. "I'd love to drive past ass-head's house and egg it or something."

"Wow, Rose, I just don't know what to say," I told her. "I'm glad that's the reason you wish you were here and not to spend Christmas with us or anything"

"Oh shove it, you know what I mean!" She retorted. Alice silently laughed. "I know your laughing at me, pixie!

"Hey!" Alice interrupted.

"Anyway, I need to go girls. Love you and Merry Christmas!" Rosalie hung up after that. Alice's phone chirped with a message.

_em says merry xmas too. xoxo_

_received 12/24 2:10 p.m._

"You guys are the best friends ever," I told Alice as we lifted ourselves from the floor.

"I know right?" Alice giggled and straightened her beanie. I just stuck my tongue at her. "Well, I should get going. I need to start getting ready for tonight. You too. Do you know what you're going to wear?"

"I don't know yet. Aww, crap," I said suddenly. "I don't think I packed a dress for tonight."

"It's totally okay," Alice reassured me. "I brought some of your clothes from home. Come with me."

I followed her downstairs where she put one of my suitcases and garment bag. I hugged her in relief.

"You are a life saver!" I opened the garment bag and there were a couple of dresses in it and my black dress coat.

"I brought the purple one and the red one you wore at the party, just in case. The shoes for each dress are in your suitcase," she continued to explain. "I brought some other outfits that are more casual that you can wear out on the town, in case we go to a bar something before you leave."

I sighed happily that I was not going to end up wearing jeans to Edward's parents' house.

"Hop to it. I've got to run," Alice embraced me again. "Love ya, Bel. I'll see you tonight. You know where he lives right?" I shook my head. "Call me before you leave and I'll give you directions."

"Sounds good," I waved as she got in the car she came in and shut the door.

I jumped in the shower and proceeded to get ready. I decided to go with the eggplant taffeta strapless dress. It hung a little past mid thigh and was cinched at the waist by a rouched band across the midsection and an off centered rose made out of the same material. The simple peep toe high heels matched the dress color perfectly. I decided to wear my hair half up and half down, in curls and side swept bangs. Thankfully, Alice packed the rest of my makeup. After taking some aspirin for my hand, I attempted to do my eyes in a heavier, but shimmery smokey look and even managed not to impale myself.

As I finished up, my dad came home and had to get ready himself. I rummaged through the suitcase Alice brought me and found that she not only packed my favorite vanilla fragranced lotion but some of my lacier undergarments. I chuckled to myself at Alice's attention to detail. I actually sighed contently when I sniffed the lotion.

"Hey, Bella?" My dad interrupted my embarrassing moment of lotion sniffing and I was dragged back into reality.

"Yeah, Dad?" I hollered back.

"You ready to go? It's almost six," he called back from his room. Shit, I still needed to finish up.

"Give me five minutes and I'll meet you downstairs!" I quickly rubbed some lotion on, spritzed myself in a complimenting scent and finally put my dress on. I added an onyx-laid necklace and matching chandelier earrings. With heels in my hand, I did a once over in the mirror. Satisfied with that I looked like myself and even managed to hide the bags under my eyes, I bounded down the stairs.

My dad was standing in the kitchen looking through the mail when he heard me approach. He looked so handsome in a traditional black suit with a white collared shirt and a diagonally striped gray tie. He even combed his hair back. I let out a low whistle, "Wow, Dad, you're stylin'!"

He just chuckled at me and bowed. "Alright, my dear, your chariot awaits. Are you ready to go yet?"

"Yup, I just need my boots because there is no way that I'm walking in the snow with heels!" I quipped. I grabbed my Uggs from the hall closet and my dad helped squeeze my brace through the coat sleeve. After he locked door, we walked over to his car. I was in front of him and almost ate it by the driver's side, but he caught me. "That was close."

My dad shook his head and ended up guiding me to the other side of the car. After buckling my seatbelt, I called Alice for directions. The Cullens lived in the same direction as Alice's house, but on the outskirts of town, towards the mountains. The winding road to the back country finally led us down a long, paved driveway, if you could call it that. The two story white house was situated in a clearing surrounded by trees. It was as if someone magically pulled out a handful of trees and plopped down the house. It featured a beautiful wrap around porch where small twinkling white Christmas lights had been strategically hung.

As we made our way to the red front door, I noticed my dad brought a bottle of wine.

"What?" He quirked an eyebrow at me. "You never go to a party empty-handed, you know that, Bella."

"Oh, Dad," I groaned. "You sound like Mom."

"I know, where did you think I got it from?" He laughed as I knocked on the door.

We were greeted by a beautiful woman in a satin dark red sleeveless knee length dress with a matching wide band belt of similar material that was held closed by a large brooch of some sort. Her hair, a shade darker than copper, was swept into a chic updo. "Merry Christmas! Come in, come in!" She ushered us into the foyer. "Charlie, it's so nice to see you again!"

My father shook her hand and introduced me. "Esme, thanks for having us over. It's really very nice of you to include us. This is my daughter, Bella."

"Bella!" She exclaimed embracing me in a hug. "I've heard so much about you over the years."

"I'm scared to even ask," I laughed, thinking back to my similar introduction to Carlisle. "Like I told Carlisle at the hospital, whatever Alice or Lucy said or even your son may be questionable." Esme's bright blue green eyes sparkled as she laughed along.

"Oh, my dear, you have no idea the stories my sister has told us," she continued. "Even the shenanigans our kids pulled together when they were little gave us endless entertainment." I felt completely at ease meeting Edward's mother. Her energy and kindness reminded me so much of Alice's mom and I wished my mom was here to join us. "Let me take your coats and we'll go into the living room."

After taking our coats, I leaned on my dad as I slipped on my deep purple heels. While Esme chatted with my dad, I could hear the laughter and conversations of her family in background.

"Mrs. Cullen, your home is decorated so beautifully," I commented. Esme linked our arms and we followed her through the foyer that opened up into an expansive living room that was completely enveloped with Christmas decorations. Garlands of pine, accented with red ribbon hung from the wood beamed ceiling. I gasped when I saw the enormous Christmas tree perfectly placed in front of the floor to ceiling windows that made up the back wall of the house. The falling snow was the perfect backdrop to the intricately decorated tree. There were all sorts of ornaments, lights and ribbon cascading in and around the branches. Presents were piled underneath. The living room was also adjacent to the formal dining room, which was beautifully set with China and silverware. Alice and her parents were talking by the tan couch, while Carlisle was tending the fireplace.

"Thank you, Bella. Call me Esme. 'Mrs. Cullen' sounds like my mother-in-law," she answered happily before turning back towards the living room. "Edward, you need to stop poking around the tree!" She chastised. I didn't even notice him until he looked up and my eyes got lost in a sea of green. He grinned a crooked smile and walked over to us.

"Oh, Ma, I was just fixing some of the decorations and um, the lights. Yeah that's it." He winked at her as he kissed her cheek.

"Sure, son, whatever you say," she replied and turned to my dad and I. "As a kid, we would catch him sneaking around the house looking for presents and trying to see if it was exactly what he wanted. When he was old enough, Edward had recruited Emmett and Alice. My sister and I resorted to swapping the kids' presents until the night before, just to throw them off the scent."

"You know, the first time my mom did that, I found some pink Barbie stuff and almost wrote a letter to Santa telling him he brought the wrong gifts," Edward began. His laughter was boisterous and his face was full of life and just happiness. "I couldn't tell my parents since I wasn't supposed to be looking around. But then Alice told me she found some video games that Emmett already had, so we put the pieces together. After that, we always knew what presents we were getting."

"Wow, Edward, I didn't think you had it in you to be so sneaky," I interjected sarcastically at the same time his mother exclaimed his name.

"Edward Anthony!" Esme exclaimed surprised while grabbing his arm. "You knew this whole time? How old were you?"

"Sorry, Ma," he smirked at her. I loved the ease and banter they shared with each other and giggled at their exchange. "I was probably, um, ten? Alice! How old were we when we figured out Mom and Auntie were hiding our presents?"

Alice, who wore an amazing dress, looked up for a second and squealed. "Oh my God! I was, I think, seven." Esme and Alice's mom, Lucy, just shook their heads at each other. "Bella! Yay! Hi, sweets, you look fantastic!"

She walked over to us and we hugged our hellos. "Thanks, Al. You look beautiful, too!" Alice was dressed in a short, strapless, satin, two toned dress. The bodice was a shimmery black and the shiny short skirt was gun metal gray that tiered into a three layers. Around her waist and off to the side, a matching bow accented the ensemble. Her makeup was dramatic and her eyes popped from the dark eye shadow. Her lips pouted perfectly from the deep scarlet lipstick. Alice's jewelry consisted of sparkling gemstones and diamonds. Her short hair flipped out on the ends and was held up on one side with a diamond barrette. Her wrists sparkled from the bangles she wore. I immediately noticed the diamond pendant around her neck. "Is that a new accessory, Miss Brandon?"

She giggled and wagged her eyebrows suggestively at me. "Why, yes it is, Miss Swan. My hot cowboy gave this to me early!"

"Wow, that's some fancy she-stuff," I laughed and caught myself before the curse word escaped. There were adults present. "Where is Tex?"

"He may stop by later. His family's having dinner tonight, as well," Alice answered. "Let me get you a drink. Come with me."

I took the wine bottle from my dad and followed Alice away from the guests to where a bar was set up. She talked about the present she had just wrapped for Jasper and their plans for New Year's. Apparently, the Cullens, Brandons and Jasper, of course, were driving to Seattle for the night and celebrate the New Year there. I felt that now familiar slight pain in my chest as she spoke so animatedly about her vacation, and tried to push it away to prevent any tears from falling. I told her how I left everyone's gifts under my bed in L.A. and that I'd give them out when we returned.

As I went to pour some white wine with my good hand, Alice grabbed it. "Did you know that you and Edward match?" She whispered loudly at me attempting to be discreet. I whipped my head at her, almost missing the glass mid pour.

"What?" I nearly shrieked. I peered back to the living room and Edward was talking to my dad and Carlisle. I finally noticed his suit and he looked amazing. The black three piece suit was tailored perfectly to his body. The two button jacket was held shut by only one of them. His collared shirt was lavender and patterned, but the tie was satin in a rich purple. The color made the green of his eyes and the red in his messy bronze hair deepen. "Oh my God, we totally do. How embarrassing," I groaned and put my head on Alice's shoulder.

"Oh, Bel, relax, I was just teasing you," she said gently while she stifled a giggle. Her expression quickly changed to an 'I know something that you're not telling me' face.

"What?" I asked, not sure what information Alice wanted.

"Soooo," she started and dramatically paused. I waved my hands in manner that said 'well'. "Why didn't you tell me you hung out with Edward all afternoon the other day?" She said it so fast that each word combined with next one and she just about screeched it out.

"Alice!" I immediately shushed her. "I was going to tell you, but I haven't had a chance. And how did you know by the way? It's not a big deal. We just hung out for a couple of hours and he was really nice to me. I may have had a minor freak out, but otherwise it was a very pleasant afternoon." I rushed my explanation, hoping no one walked in on our conversation.

"That's so cool, Bel!" She literally was bouncing in her four inch black velvet heels. "Auntie told Mom and she told me when they picked us up at the airport." I groaned. Of course, why can't people keep their mouths shut?

"Please don't make it out to be more than it is," I pleaded with her. "We are just friends, sort of, and I am in no position to be hooked up with anyone, especially your cousin."

"I'm not saying anything, sweets," Alice reassured me. "I just want details later." I laughed and shook my head at her, knowing when Alice wants something she's as stealthy as a spy. Thankfully, Carlisle interrupted us to take our seats. I poured my dad a beer and Alice carried it back to him for me. I suddenly felt a little self conscious and tense after my conversation with her. I managed to paste on a smile and hoped that no one would see through it.

As the night continued, I began to feel more and more the effects of being without Jake. I attempted small talk with Esme about her interior design business and current projects she was working on. I asked Alice's mom, Lucy, who physically resembled Esme very closely, save for her short, dark brunette locks, about the world of education. My conversations never strayed to anything personal and I didn't ask questions that I was afraid of answering if the conversation flipped back.

Esme led the dinner procession of setting the platters on the table. She went all out cooking a turkey, a ham, potatoes, vegetables, rolls and her family's secret recipe of gravy. Everything looked delicious. The conversation at the table stalled due to the groans of satisfaction from Esme's wonderful cooking.

As Edward got up to pour another glass of wine, he shared the progress of the music store, and we learned the grand opening was being pushed back to April, rather than January. The landlord finally approved his request to renovate the interior, so on top of designing the layout; he was also in the middle of creating advertising campaigns. Edward even discussed his collaboration with Tanya in creating the theme. I could only imagine how much "work" they were getting done, or not getting done. My jealous mind immediately thought of them and sex. My inner monologue of drama was interrupted when the phone rang and Esme got up to answer it in the other room. All of a sudden, we heard squealing and laughing. She walked back to the dining room with the cordless and placed it on speaker phone.

"Merry Christmas family!" a booming voice echoed. I smiled and totally pictured Emmett enjoying a California style Christmas full of sunshine and eighty degree weather. "So I have some news -"

"We're engaged!" Rosalie screeched into the phone. I thought my eyes were going to bug out of my head and suddenly felt nauseous. Everyone around the table got up and gathered around the phone to congratulate them. I essentially held back frozen to my seat. I felt the urge to run in hopes of not puking all over Esme's beautiful table. I quietly got up, shaking a little and bolted for the front the door. As I swung it open, Jasper was standing in front of the door.

"Hey, Bel. Merry Chr-," he greeted me and his bright blue eyes pierced through my façade. He was dressed like Michael Buble in a traditional Rat Pack era gray suit. "What's wrong?"

I put my game face on and smiled stiffly. "Oh nothing, come on in. Emmett asked Rose to marry him tonight. He's on the phone if you want to say hi."

I knew I couldn't leave without rousing suspicion and I certainly did not want to breakdown in front of everyone. I walked Jasper to the dining room and Alice distracted him by nearly jumping him. I quickly veered away from the commotion and went to pour another glass of wine in hopes of calming my nerves. I noticed there were no other open bottles of wine. I stupidly attempted to open one with the corkscrew, but apparently, no one has invented a one handed version yet.

I tried holding the bottle by my arm, but almost dropped it in the process. I even thought to put it between my knees, however, I figured that wouldn't have been too lady like. I resisted throwing the bottle against the wall and sighed in defeat.

"Need some help?" A velvet, husky voice asked quietly, startling me.

"Dammit!" I spun around to see my purple dressed twin smirking at me. "How do you manage to that, every time?"

"Bella," Edward laughed me. "You just get lost in your head so easily. I saw you struggling with the wine and thought I could be of assistance."

Edward took the bottle off the table and expertly uncorked it. He poured me a generous amount and one for himself. "Merry Christmas, Isabella." I nodded back at him and we clinked glasses. I downed almost half of it in a couple of gulps. "Are you alright? And please don't say you're fine."

"What? Um, yes, I'm fi-good," I nervously shifted my eyes to his chin and then looked around the room. I began to chew on the corner of my bottom lip and took another swig. Edward looked at me expectantly.

"Come on, Bella, you can tell me. I know something's off with you," he pushed. My steel resolve to keep my thoughts to myself began to crumble.

"Edward, I can't talk about this right now. If you don't want me sobbing in a corner for feeling like shit and abandoned and just fucking alone, then please don't push me right now," I blurted out. My voice quivered as I struggled to keep calm. "It's hard enough being here with your family, celebrating, when all I want to do is crawl in a hole and die. It makes it even worse when your best friends get in engaged on very same night as you. But I didn't get my happy ending. I did, however, get a broken arm, a blow to my ego and fucked over. Now you tell me how can I not feel off? Huh?"

"Bella," he started as he ran his hands through his hair. I quickly excused myself and ran up the stairs in search of a bathroom. I had no idea where I was headed, but found it on the first try. I stared at myself in the mirror and gave myself a pep talk to buck up. All I wanted to do was cry, but if I started, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop. I took a couple of deep breaths and wiped away any smeared makeup. After a few minutes, I put my indifferent mask back in place and took one last look in the mirror. I quietly opened the door and sighed in relief that no one was waiting for me, especially Edward. I don't know what it was about him that makes me want to blurt out everything I happen to be thinking. It doesn't happen with anyone else. He can ask me a question and I have no problem saying exactly what I think or how I feel.

When I made it back downstairs, everyone was around the dinner table talking and laughing. The only ones who looked concerned by my abrupt return to the room were Jasper, Edward and Alice. Thankfully, they kept their mouths shut.

After dinner, we gathered back in the living and the conversation continued to revolve around Emmett's engagement. Apparently he'd been planning it for the last four months, unbeknownst to Alice, Jasper, Edward and I. The adults were all aware and actually kept it a secret. I laughed politely and nodded when addressed, but other than that, I basically checked out the rest of the night. When I thought I wouldn't be able to take anymore pleasantries, my dad asked if I was ready to go home. I practically leapt for the door at his request, but stopped myself to bid good night to everyone.

When I hugged Alice goodbye, she asked unsurely, "Are you coming tomorrow?"

"Probably not," I said stiffly. "I'm going to hang out with my dad as much as I can before I need to leave for Florida."

"Okay, I understand," she replied sadly. "Call me later?" I nodded to her.

I did a collective wave to the remaining guests and desperately avoided eye contact with Edward. Esme walked my dad and me out and we retrieved our coats and I put my boots back on. We made it home quicker than I realized. I bid him goodnight and rushed upstairs to change and shower. Standing under the spray of water, the unshed tears were finally released in gasping sobs. The flow wouldn't stop, but sobbing noise quieted down. I sat in my room with wet hair and settled in my spot by the bay window in my room. In the darkness, I made a Christmas wish.

"Please, please, please make it all go away," I whispered to no one in particular. "I don't want to feel it anymore."

The days following Christmas passed quietly. I kept to myself as much as possible and only met up with Alice and the boys when she called me. It was fun filled and silly. We never talked about the events from the prior week, which was fine with me. They were constantly running on repeat in my head anyway. I still kept to my schedule of three hours of sleep each night and my dreams continued to haunt me.

As I packed my suitcases, my cell rang. I froze every time, scared and hopeful that Jake would call and just apologize or explain. But it was Alice.

"Hey, Al," I said, as I repacked the heels in my luggage. "What's going on?"

"Hi, Bel," she answered in a chipper voice. "I was thinking, if you want, we could take you to Seattle tomorrow and then the next day, the airport. You know we're all going to do New Years over there anyway, and I want to spend pre-New Years with you. We can check out a couple of bars or something. What do you think?"

I hummed an answer. I was hoping to make the drive myself, but my dad returned my rental the day I confronted Jake and I hoped he'd be okay with me renting another one. "You know that sounds great. I'd really like that, Al. What time do you want to leave?"

"Let's go around nine tomorrow? We'll take Edward's car, since he has one," she replied giggling. "My parents and my aunt and uncle will drive up later.

"Okay, that works," I told her and we hung up not too long after that. I finished packing and called my dad to let him know my travel plans for the next day.

My dad and I spent a casual evening together and never once touched the subject of Jake. We did, however, discuss the untimely death of my truck and how we were going to purchase a new method of transportation. My dad was going to look at some cars and I was as well, then we'd figure out the next step. He was also going to discuss this with my mom. I felt a little better knowing that I would not have to buy a car on my own. I was actually quite relieved. When I went to bed that night, I tried to focus on Seattle and visiting my mother, but alas, my mind was in overdrive.

I was awake before my alarm sounded. I swear I must have had an hour of sleep. Yawning, I rolled over and turned it off. Looking outside, the sun struggled to peek through the clouds. I took a quick shower and braided my hair in two pigtails, since Alice could help me style it later. I dressed warm, in my jeans and a long sleeved burgundy Henley, layered with a fitted black Social Distortion band t-shirt. I threw on a fitted zip up hoodie and my Uggs. I only brought down the lighter garment bag, since my left hand was still in that brace. I was surprised to find my dad downstairs drinking coffee. He looked very official sitting at the counter in his uniform.

"Morning, Dad," I said as I grabbed a Pop-tart out of the cabinet and put them in the toaster.

"How ya doin', kiddo?" he replied, closing the newspaper. "You all set?" I nodded.

"Alice should be here in a little bit," I answered. The awkwardness in the room was prevalent and my dad and I decided to ignore the pink elephant in the room that was Jake. The toaster popped and I grabbed my breakfast. "I'm going to finish getting ready." My dad nodded and I sat in front of the TV and put on some make up.

My dad joined me not too much later and we talked and joked a little. The doorbell rang, which I'm surprised Alice didn't just waltz in like she normally does, and I realized I wasn't ready to leave. I burst into tears right there as my dad opened the door.

"Honey, what's wrong?" my dad asked as he enveloped me. I just sniffled and mumbled into his shirt. "What?"

"I don't want to go," I cried. I suddenly found myself sandwiched between my dad and Alice.

"Oh, my Isabella," my dad said softly. "It'll be alright. Everything will be alright. Come on, let's get the rest of your stuff."

I wiped my eyes, thankful I wore waterproof mascara. I hugged Alice and my dad went upstairs to get my suitcase. "Where are the boys?"

"Sitting in the car, arguing," she laughed. Alice had thrown on her gray pea coat over a blue plaid button down, jeans and her Uggs. I arched an eyebrow at her. "Music."

"Ah," I said. "Is Jasper controlling the radio again?"

"No, Edward won't release control, claiming he has a road trip playlist and a very specific order it has to play in," she giggled.

"What?" I asked incredulously. "He can't control the radio, he's driving. Shotgun always controls it. Everyone knows this."

"Right?" she agreed. "That's what I told him. I think he made that up so Jasper doesn't start playing that Dave Matthews' shit."

I burst out laughing, "Alice! That's terrible."

"What?" she said innocently. "It's true. Sometimes I think Jasper's stuck in the 90s, but not the good part of the 90s either. I've seen his iPod. Trust me I know. He's even got those Lilith Fair ladies on there too."

"Oh my God!" I couldn't stop laughing. "I heart you."

Alice giggled as she took my garment bag out to the car. I slowly put my coat on as my dad walked past me with my suitcase. I ran upstairs and did a quick inspection of my room. Satisfied I didn't forget anything, I walked back down, out the front door. My dad was talking to Edward, while Jasper, who was wearing that hat with the ear flaps, waved at me from the passenger seat. I laughed and waved back.

"Hello!" I said to Edward as he was rearranging luggage in the trunk of his very shiny Volvo.

"Hello to you," he replied and gave me a quick hug. His hair, except for a few locks in the front, was hidden by a baggy, black beanie. His long sideburns, which ended right under his ears, framed his face perfectly. He wore a black hooded sweatshirt, dark jeans and on his feet were Docs. "Are you ready to hit the open road?"

"Yes, but I have one request?" I replied. He raised his eyebrows. "I want to control the radio."

"No way," he immediately answered, smirking. "It's my car, my radio and my ears."

"Aw, come on, Edward!" I whined just a bit. "You're stuck with your music all day. At least you know I'd have good taste."

"I've never seen your iPod, Swan," he replied, shaking my dad's hand. "I can't have my ears offended."

"Who made you the music know-it-all?" I asked.

"Well, I _am_ the one opening a music store. Just sayin'," he replied smugly. I could hear Alice and my dad laughing at our banter.

"This is far from over, Cullen," I threatened, playfully narrowing my eyes. I turned to give my dad a last hug before we left.

"Bye, Dad," I said softly as I hugged him tightly. "Love you."

"Love you back, kiddo," he answered back. "Call me when you get to Seattle." I nodded and got in the backseat with Alice. I ended up in the seat behind Jasper, while Alice sat behind Edward, so he would have the leg room for driving.

"Excuse me," I interrupted as we pulled onto the street. "Why are the tall people in the front and you stick us little ones in the back?"

"Do I need to pull over and go over the rules of the road?" Edward shot back. I only thought of Emmett's impersonation from last time.

Alice and I groaned. "Please, that is so not necessary."

"Alright then, guys in the front," Edward shot me a smug look in the rearview mirror. I stuck my tongue out. Edward was almost distracted enough when Jasper reached for the radio. "Hey! No touchie!"

"Good try, Jas," Alice told him while giggling.

"Are we there yet?" I asked suddenly, knowing how annoying that was. We'd finally entered the highway and were cruising at a pretty good speed.

"Will the little kid in the back, please find something to color," Edward said in a very 'dad' like manner.

"Aw, come on," I drawled. "I'm bored already."

"Here this will entertain you for a bit," he said as he turned up the music. Suddenly the guitar intro from 'What's My Age Again?' filled the car.

"Blink!" I yelled excitedly. I sang very loudly and obnoxiously along with Mark Hoppus. Alice eventually joined in and we were now the two crazy people in the back putting on a show. I took Edward's iPod and continued to play Blink-182 for a little bit. When Alice and I ran out of songs we knew, we began to mumble along which Jasper did not appreciate at all.

"Oh yeah?" he asked us when we completely failed. "And that's enough of that." He laughed, taking the iPod back. Edward thanked him.

"Jasper Whitlock!" Alice suddenly yelled out. "That was not very nice. Here we are minding our own business and you have to go and end it. I'm devastated, just devastated." Alice threw her right arm over her eyes dramatically and silence permeated the car with me trying to not to snort out a laugh. After a short pause, she continued. "And don't you dare put on that hippie jam band crap!" The car erupted in raucous laughter as Jasper sat back in his seat, not joining in the teasing.

"Aw, Jas," I patted his shoulder. "Don't let Al tell you what can and can't listen to. We just don't want you to embarrass yourself."

"Wow, et tu, Bel?" Jasper turned his head to give Alice and me the stink eye. "Look, I'll find something on this maniac's iPod that will not offend anyone." He was about to scroll through the menu, but my hands were faster.

"Yoink," I swiped it. Luckily the cord was long enough to reach the backseat. Alice and I went through each album he had. "Oh my God, Edward, you have way too much music."

"Now you all know why I have a road trip playlist," He replied. "Just play it, trust me." Alice and I rolled our eyes, but clicked on it. I laughed when Def Leppard's 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' blasted through the speakers. We all sang along terribly; well except for the music know-it-all, Edward. He was perfectly on pitch with his somewhat raspy rock voice. The remainder of the ride passed by quickly thanks to the variety of songs, ranging from the hair bands of the 80s to punk to hip hop and even some pop.

When we finally reached Seattle, the four of us were starving and ready to stretch our legs. We pretty much drove straight through Forks and only stopped once at a rest stop. Edward pulled into the hotel and we helped him unload the car. Alice booked a two-bedroom suite, which also had a living room with a pullout couch. The hotel was situated by all the tourist spots and the same place where everyone was going to stay at for New Year's. After checking in, Jasper and Alice decided to hit the gift shop for some snacks, while Edward and I went to the room with the luggage. The minute I stepped in the room after Edward, I walked into one of the rooms and collapsed on the softest mattress ever.

"Oh my God, this is amazing," I mumbled into the pillow to myself. I felt like a cat that discovered cat nip for the first time. "This pillow is so smooshy." I walked back to the living room area and I chucked one of them at Edward who was trying to situate himself on the couch with a book in his hand and ear buds in his ears. "Feel this." Apparently, I took him by surprise and almost knocked off his beanie.

"Hey!" He exclaimed smiling and shook his head at me.

"What?" I asked innocently. "I was just sharing how soft these pillows are."

"Uh-huh, sure you were," he replied sarcastically as he took his beanie off his head and ran his fingers through the matted mess of hair. "Where are Jas and Ali?"

"Probably screwing in an elevator," I deadpanned. Edward eyes widened and he laughed. "You should go find them because I'm very hungry." My stomach took that moment to grumble. "See I told you."

"Apparently," he replied. "Let me call them and we'll get you and your stomach fed."

We reunited in the lobby ready to eat a late lunch. Jasper ran upstairs to drop off the bag of snacks they bought. Alice had spoken to the concierge for various bar locations and made an itinerary for tonight. We were going to do a mini Pub Crawl. After eating at a local café, we headed back to the room to rest and get ready for the evening.

We kicked the boys to the other bathroom and claimed the one in the master. Jasper and Edward were; of course, ready to go in five minutes. They ironed their clothes, got dressed and then left us for the hotel bar. I didn't even notice what they were wearing.

After showering, I quickly dried my hair and waited for the curling iron to heat up. Alice straightened her hair, flipping the ends out and pinned her bangs to the side with a bobby pin. While she applied some light make up and glossy lipstick, we joked and laughed like we didn't have a care in the world. For the first time in a week, there was a break in my misery.

Since her hair took all of five minutes and looked salon perfect, she started on mine, while I did my makeup. She pinned each large curl and I struggled to line my eye. She finished my hair before I even got through with my face and took over. We did a heavy lined eye in a deep blue and lots of mascara. My brown eyes sparkled with the shimmery powder she added.

Alice dressed in a short, silky, navy tunic dress that was accented with cream lace and capped sleeves. The lace embroidered the hem and the edges of the sleeves. The collar had a high neckline and the lace adorned the buttons down the front over the bodice. She wore black leggings and black stiletto ankle boots. I opted for a flowy, sheer top with handkerchief style sleeves that ran past my elbow. It was black with large, bright pink and blue abstract flowers. I wore it over my dark washed jeans that were tucked into some black knee high boots. The black brace that encased my left wrist was a great accent to my hoop earrings.

After we dressed, I uncurled my pinned hair and the relaxed curls flowed down my back. Alice pinned my bangs adding a bump.

"Are we ready now?" I asked, while applying some lip gloss. I met Alice's eyes in the mirror.

"Yes, let's go drink!" she exclaimed excitedly. I just laughed at her.

We grabbed our coats, shut the door behind us and made our way to the elevator. We found the boys drinking beer and watching some sports show on the TV. Edward was dressed in a blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with a pair of faded out jeans and blue Chucks. His bronze hair was still a messy disarray and light stubble covered his jaw. He looked great, as usual and I desperately tried not to stare too long at him. Jasper was dressed similarly with a short sleeve black and white plaid print button down, distressed jeans and boots. His blond hair was styled.

"Hello, boys," I greeted Edward and Jasper as I sat on one of the barstools. Alice sat next to me. "What are we drinking?"

"Beer," Edward answered me. I scrunched up my face. "What's with the face?"

"I don't like beer," I answered simply. "It tastes like hay." He laughed and in a lowered voice I continued, "Tequila's my choice of poison."

"Whoa, you don't mess around with your liquor, eh?" He smiled at me.

"Can you two please finish so we can go?" Alice interrupted.

"Yes, ma'am," Jasper and Edward answered simultaneously while saluting Alice. They pounded their glasses while we cheered them on.

When they finished, we walked through the lobby out the front doors. The freezing wind hit us as we pushed them open.

"Oh my fuck, it's cold," I blurted out. Everyone laughed. "We're not walking far are we?"

"No way. I am not walking on slippery sidewalks," Alice answered me. "Babe, can we please get a cab? Nevermind, I'll do it." Alice walked to the curb, placed two fingers in her mouth and whistled for a cab, even though one was parked not even ten feet away. It was classic. Jasper, Edward and I watched, our eyes wide, as our little sprite whistled like we were in freakin' Manhattan. What was even better was the cab actually moved.

Laughing, we all got in and Alice gave the cabbie our first destination, which was by the Pike Place Fish Market.

After we walked, Alice and I grabbed a table, while the guys went up to the bar for our drinks. There were people drinking, talking, laughing and making out around us. The emptiness I felt began to creep in and my right foot began to quickly tap.

"Ladies, your drinks," Jasper handed Alice her Whiskey and Diet, and my Appletini. The boys each had a beer.

"Thanks, Babe," Alice said to Jasper. "So, Bella, what are you going to do in Florida with your mom?"

I really wanted to say, hide and mope, but opted not to bring down the mood. "I don't know yet. My mom said she finished renovating her house, so I'm dying to see it. I mean, I've seen pictures, but not in person, so that'll be exciting. She's really proud and I'm surprised that she's stayed down there for longer than a year."

"Your mom moves a lot?" Edward asked, holding his beer.

"Um, yeah, I guess so." I never thought about my unusual upbringing. "When my parents divorced, my mom moved us out of Forks. I must have been, six or seven, and we headed for Phoenix. We lived there for a couple of years. My mom has her teaching certificate, but is a substitute teacher. This allows her a lot of free time and a steady income. She can pretty much teach anywhere. Anyway, after Phoenix we moved two or three more times. They were always sunny places – Santa Fe, Austin and finally Palm Springs. When we moved to California, I stayed with her until eleventh grade and that's when I went to my dad's.

When I started junior year, my dad asked if I would ever consider living with him and I told him yes. The next thing I knew, my mom and he were suddenly talking about sending me to Washington. And there I was spring semester at Forks High. So anyway, since then my mom moved back to Phoenix followed by Santa Fe. It's actually quite exciting because she'll send me postcards every time she moves. When she told me about Jacksonville, I thought it was very odd on her part. I've never visited her there and I don't know the catalyst that started it. So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it." Alice and Jasper already knew the whole story and they listened patiently to the cliff's notes version. I took another sip of my martini. Edward just stared at me. "What?" I finally asked.

"Nothing," he replied scratching his face and took a swig from his beer. "It's fascinating. I've only lived in Forks and Los Angeles and those cities are night and day of each other. To live in the Southwest must have been quite an experience."

"I guess that's where my fascination with history started," I answered. "The Native American cultures, Mexican and Spanish influences are prevalent across the Southwest and Texas. I can't get enough of it. And now I'm babbling."

The three of them laughed and I just shrugged my shoulders. I quickly finished my drink. "Are we ready for another round?" I looked around and saw almost empty glasses. "My turn."

"I'll go with you," Edward got up as I hopped off the stool. He followed me to the bar and I flagged the bartender down. We ordered everyone's usual and then I asked for a round of shots. Edward just looked at me.

"What?" I asked as I arched an eyebrow at him. "It's just time for something a tad stronger."

When the bartender brought the drink order, I pulled my card out of my pocket and handed it to him. "Can I have a tray, please? Oh, you can start a tab, too." He nodded and gave me a tray. I turned to Edward and pointed to the drinks. "Hey, can you please carry this? I do not want to trip in front of all these people."

"Well, gee, thanks. So you'll let _me_ fall in front of all these people?" Edward laughed as he picked up the drinks.

"That's true, I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of a potential girlfriend or anything," I quipped. "But you're young and hot. I think you'd have many a volunteer to help clean you up. I can push you right now, if you want."

"So you think I'm hot, huh?" Edward teased.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Come on, Romeo."

By the time we returned to Alice and Jasper, their drinks were finished and looked eager for the next round.

"Shots!" Alice cried excitedly. "Aw, Bella. Tequila, really? You know I can't do tequila shots anymore. Ever since our freshmen year of college, and I got so sick." She made the nastiest face and then sniffed the shot. "Yup, still can't do it."

"Here, wait," Jasper got up and walked over to the bar. He returned not too much later with a shot of Drambue. "Drink this, Darlin'."

"Thanks, hon," she replied.

"Okay, are we situated now?" I asked impatiently. All three of them nodded their heads. "Alice, I claim your shot."

"Wait!" Alice interrupted again.

"Now what?" I asked.

"We need to say what we want for the New Year," she replied. We lifted our little shots. I held two of them up. "This year will bring us much happiness and new adventures. I can feel it."

"I hope we all find exactly what we're looking for," Jasper continued after Alice. "To us, baby." Alice blushed a little at his affection.

"Well, hell, I hope I find a car that actually runs!" I laughed. I couldn't bring myself to act seriously and voice what I really wanted.

"Bel-la! Be serious," Alice chimed in after we finished laughing. "What do you want?"

"Fuck, okay. I want to feel whole. I want to feel loved. I want it all. I want to be happy," I said in a strong voice. "Is that good enough?"

"Yes!" My friends all answered in unison.

"Damn. Alright then. Edward, your turn, kid," I said, laughing.

"Well, I must say, I'm pretty stoked for the new year. I agree with Ali, it's going to be an interesting adventure with the six of us and I can't wait," he said seriously. "Oh, I want my store to succeed and make me a lot of money! Salut!"

"Happy New Year!" We yelled to each other. We pounded our shots and I took the two down quickly. After sucking on a lime, I chased them with huge gulp of my Appletini. I loved the beginning effects of alcohol. That tingling feeling that is felt all the way to my toes.

We ended up staying at this bar drinking and laughing. Alice, Edward and Jasper recounted their childhood tales and really embarrassing stories about Emmett. Alice, Jasper and I spoke of our college days. I was laughing so hard that I almost fell off of my chair. Edward caught me around the waist.

"You alright there?" His voice was like pure silk to my ears. I nodded, laughing harder and relaxed completely against him. When he loosened his grip, I turned to face him and caught his smiling bright green eyes. I realized they weren't the dark, mysterious ones I desperately wanted to see. I panicked and walked away from the table. His face tensed and creased with worry while he ran his hand through his hair. "Wait, Bella." But I didn't listen and kept going.

"Bella!" Alice's attention switched from Jasper to me as I stumbled my way through the crowd to the restroom. I stopped when she grabbed my arm. Jasper had followed her and kept me from falling on the floor.

"I need to use the restroom," I slurred. My mood darkened and I just wanted to go home – wherever that was at the moment.

"Jas, help me," I vaguely heard her. They flanked each side. But when I met Alice's concerned blue-gray eyes, the tears exploded from me.

"Oh my God. Aw, Bella." I turned to Jasper and his strong arms enveloped me in a hug. We stood like that while Alice ran her fingers through my hair.

Alice helped me to the restroom and I tried to calm down. She sat me down in one of those lounges that are in the women's restrooms. She began to wipe my face without a sound. She didn't try to talk or say empty words.

"Alice," I grabbed her hand. She stared at me like I was made of glass. "I'm sorry. Thank you." I hugged her tight.

"Shh, it's okay," she replied. "Don't worry about it. Let's go home." I nodded and leaned on her as we exited the restroom.

We met up with Jasper and they once again flanked my sides.

We walked out of the bar and Edward already had a cab waiting for us. I refused to make eye contact with him. Alice, Jasper and I took the backseat, with me in the middle, while Edward quietly sat in the front. I kept my right arm around Jasper's left and held on for dear life. Alice held my left hand as best as she could. I laid my head on Jasper's shoulder and just closed my eyes. The three of them were quietly talking and I couldn't make out what they were saying too well.

I don't know how we got back to the room, but Alice led me to one of the bedrooms. I immediately collapsed on the bed. Alice began pulling my boots off and quietly asked if I needed any help with my pajamas. I thanked her and said no. She left not to long after that. I closed the door behind her, slid down with my back against it and pulled my knees up. The tears quietly rolled down my face as I sat with my face in my knees. A sob escaped and I suddenly realized that I didn't need anyone bursting in my room. I crawled towards the bathroom, since my equilibrium was completely off. I stripped off my clothes and unpinned my hair. I struggled to start the shower and the water was freezing.

"Fuck!" My voice echoed in the spacious bathroom. I adjusted the temperature and just sat under the water. I sobbed as the water flowed over me. I felt the most abandoned I'd ever felt in my entire life. Jake didn't want me and proved it by setting these chains of events in motion. He knowingly led me on. The realization that he never loved me hit me hard. I started hyperventilating in the shower. I moved out from under the spray to try and calm myself down.

I stood up after my breathing slowed down and tried washing my hair with one hand. I didn't even take the brace off and it was soaked through. I ripped it off and threw it on the shower bench. I almost slipped trying to get out of the shower and grabbed a towel. I used the wall as support and toweled off as best as I could. I threw my hair up into a bun and struggled to find the bed. My drunken haze and crying lessened as I crawled under the covers naked and passed out.

The next morning I woke to pain shooting up my hand and a pounding headache. I sat up and groaned. As I looked around the room, it was still early in the morning, and realized I did not have any pajamas on. I hitched the sheet up over my chest and sat in the darkened room. I walked very slowly and used the restroom. When I sat back on the bed, memories of last night flooded my mind.

"Oh my god," I whispered. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." Edward's expression was cemented in my mind and I realized just how much my emotions ruled my behavior. "I am never drinking again."

I noticed my brace was missing and went in search of it. Finding in the shower, I placed it back over my hand and winced as I strapped it tight. I harshly ran a brush through my hair and pulled it into a ponytail. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. My mouth tasted like stale and moldy gym socks that had been buried deep in rotted meat. Yeah it was that bad. I quickly dressed in my black lounge pants and a fitted black v-neck tee. I knew I needed to apologize to Edward, so I quietly opened my door and peered in the dark living room and saw Edward sitting up on the pullout watching TV. Before I could shut the door, he saw me.

"Bella?" He called to me quietly. "Are you okay?"

Crap, he did see me. I guess it was now or never. I opened the door all the way and walked the mini walk of shame. I stopped near the end of his bed. "Um, hi," I said very quietly. I sat on the very edge of his bed. Edward had massive bedhead, but it wasn't that much a difference from his combed hair. Thankfully he was wearing a white undershirt and had the blanket pulled up to his waist. I was suddenly nervous and took a deep breath to steady myself. "Edward, I need to apologize to you. I am completely mortified by my behavior last night. I haven't been drunk like that in a very long time."

"Bel," he started as he scooted closer to me and sat cross-legged across from me. "You don't need to apologize for anything. You're going through a really tough time and I can't pretend to know exactly how that feels, but Bella, don't ever feel you can't show real emotion or be vulnerable. If anything I'm sorry if I did anything to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't do anything, Edward," I interrupted him. "My defenses were completely gone and I let my emotions get the best of me."

"You know you can talk to me right?" he suddenly asked. "You don't have to pretend to be strong or hide how you feel around me. It's okay, you know? No matter what, Bella, I'm here for you. What happened last night?"

"Damn, Edward," I said as my eyes welled up. "Why do you have to be sensitive too?" He just shrugged his shoulders and smirked at me, as if he didn't know what I was talking about. "Well, I tell you everything anyway, Edward Cullen. I don't know what it is about you that makes me feel like I can blurt out exactly what my mind comes up with."

"Must be my charm and good looks," he retorted. I groaned. "What? You said I was hot."

"What?" I nearly shrieked. I threw the closest pillow I could grab, at him. "Oh, jeez."

"Seriously, it's okay. I know," he attempted to smooth down is crazy hair and brushed his shoulder off. "Back to you. We could sit here all day and talk about me, which I know if a fascinating subject on its own, but you might miss your plane."

"I broke last night," I honestly blurted out. "The last four months were probably a culmination of what I had been feeling for the last year or so. My attempts to talk to _him_ about what I was feeling or concerns I had were quickly reassured to make me feel better. My instincts were basically yelling at me that something was wrong. But last night, every emotion I ever felt collided and everyone saw my mess. I have never felt so alone in my entire life. He wouldn't treat his dog the way he treated me. I was treated worse than a fucking animal. He didn't want me. He probably never did. Sitting there with you, Alice and Jasper, felt like we were a real foursome and all I wanted was him in that moment. But it was 'the us' from high school." I took a deep breath and really wanted some aspirin.

"Get up," he told me. I moved and he put the bed away and the cushions back on the couch. He opened the drapes to let some daylight in. "Sit."

I sat down and he rummaged through his duffle bag and I heard a bottle of pills rattling. He brought over a bottle of water and handed me two Tylenol pills. He sat on the end of the couch and he had me lay my head on his leg. He pulled my pony tail out and stroked my hair. His fingers in my hair felt like the most natural thing in the world. My body and mind instantly relaxed. We didn't talk anymore and I fell asleep.

"Bella?" I felt Alice brush her hand across my cheek. I woke up slowly still on the couch and saw that a blanket had been placed over me.

"Alice?" I asked confusedly. "Hi." I shot up when I realized I had a plane to catch. "Oh my God!"

"Bella, relax." She sat next to me. "It's only nine. Edward and Jasper went down to get some breakfast for us."

"Oh," I exhaled. What the hell time did I get up then? "What time does my flight leave again?"

Alice laughed. "Your flight leaves in two hours and your suitcases are pretty much packed."

"Thanks," I told her. She looked at me expectantly as if waiting for something. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me, Bella Swan," she widened her eyes at me and moved closer to me. "What's the story morning glory?"

I sighed and recounted my conversation with Edward and pretty much everything we said because there was no way I couldn't not tell her. She had the biggest shit eating grin on her face.

"Seriously, Alice?" I asked her. "Can you tone it down just a little? I'm so embarrassed and I didn't want to ruin your guys' night."

"You didn't ruin anything. Really," she said immediately. "We drank a lot of alcohol last night."

"Yeah, but you weren't a blubbering mess, you didn't hurt someone's feelings, and you certainly didn't spend the morning apologizing to a guy you hardly know and always act a fool around. Oh, shit, I left my credit card at that bar!"

"Bel, honestly, you're being too hard on yourself," she said trying to make me feel better. "I have your credit card. I put it in your wallet this morning. Edward retrieved it from the bar."

"Oh, thanks," I replied. The boys returned and interrupted any further conversation about that.

We ate in relative silence and on the TV was some cooking show on the Food Network. Afterwards, we cleaned up and I went to finish packing and clean up a little. I even apologized to Jasper who hushed me immediately by crushing me to his chest. Edward and Jasper took my bags down to the car, while Alice and I talked a little longer. She always has a way of making feel better.

The drive to the airport was short and I asked them to drop me off at the curb. Alice refused and made Edward park in the lot. The airport was busy but it wasn't as crowded as I thought it was going to be. I checked in all of my luggage and got my ticket. Jasper, Alice and Edward walked me to the security line. For the moment I was all cried out and I hugged everyone tightly. I said bye to Edward last.

"Well, Cullen," I said sarcastically. "Maybe next time you show me around Forks, you can leave the drama at home."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Swan," he replied and lightly punched my shoulder. "Just remember, you think I'm hot."

"Dammit," I told him. "You're never going to let me forget that are you?" He shook his head and devilishly grinned at me. I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. "Attention, everyone! Edward Cullen is hot! This guy here? Yes, he is fuck-hot! He's sing-"

Edward's hand clamped over my mouth. "Very funny, Isabella." He gave me a parting hug. "Fly safe."

"Bye, thanks, again," I told him, he just nodded. "Alright, kids. Alice, I'll call you when I land."

I waved bye to them and turned towards security with my ticket in hand. Once I made it through, I wandered to my gate and sat in those hard plastic chairs. I called my dad to let him know I was taking off soon. Then I called my mom and told her the exact same thing.

I didn't have to wait too long before my flight was called for boarding. I waited in a short line and found my seat. Once I got settled, I pulled my hood up and closed my eyes. Two tears slid down my face. I fell into a deep sleep as the plane took off.


	10. That's Enough for Now

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

**[Chapter 10: That's Enough for Now]**

"Bella Swan!" I heard Alice's shrill voice through my locked bedroom door. I rolled over and moved my head out from underneath the pillow. The clock read eight-fifteen on a Saturday morning. "I know you're in there!"

"Alice, let me kick the door in," I heard Rosalie's muffled voice.

"No, I think I can open it," she replied.

I smirked and was grateful that since returning from Florida in January, I had taken to locking my door. It wasn't until I heard the tiny scrapes of metal that I realized Alice was in the middle of picking the lock. She wouldn't dare. After a few moments, the door lock released with a click. I take that back, she would dare. I quickly moved back in to a comfortable position and feigned sleep. I heard Alice and Rosalie roam around the room. They opened the curtains and sunlight suddenly flooded the room. I groaned lightly and felt the mattress dip by my feet.

"Bella," Alice repeated sternly. When I didn't respond, she pulled the pillow off my head and hit me with it.

"Alice! What the fuck!" I yelled. I sat up and glared at her. "Do you guys have any idea what time it is?"

"Yes," she replied just as confidently. "Do you have any idea what month it is?"

"Huh?" I asked confused. "What kind of question is that? Of course I know what month it is."

"Do you really?" She continued. For someone dressed in bright ass pajama pants, that looked like they belonged on a clown, rather than a twenty-two year old woman, she meant business. Rosalie had yet to say anything and remained standing. "Bella, it's March Twentieth."

"Yeah, so?" I replied unsure of her point. I internally cringed at being reminded that my would be anniversary passed a couple of days ago without much incident except for the cry fest I partook in.

"We're done," she said in a quieter voice. "You've hidden away long enough from the world, Bel. You have to get out. We haven't seen you since you left for Florida. Hell, Emmett and Rose haven't hung out with you since before Christmas. You're drowning and we're here to throw you a life preserver."

"Excuse me?" I blurted out. I couldn't believe she was yelling at me. "You're done?" I used air quotes. "I don't know what you're talking about. I go to school, my grades are sound, and I've been steadily working. I am getting everything I need in order so I can graduate in a couple of months. What else do you want from me?"

"Fuck, Bella," Rosalie finally interjected. I snorted quietly. The woman had nothing stressful or traumatizing in her life – good looks, good job and a hot boyfriend. Yup, I envied my best friend right now. Both of them, actually. "You have nothing to worry about with school or your job. You've always excelled in that area, and now you're using it like a fucking crutch." I gaped at her. My mouth opened and shut. It was too freakin' early for this. I rubbed my face in frustration.

"Rosalie, jeez. Bella, you know what I mean," Alice emphasized. "You're taking three classes – all in one day, once a week. I'm glad work is going well, but what else are you doing? Your new car has become a show piece in the parking lot. You lock yourself in your room most of the time. You won't even hang out with me in public, let alone in our own apartment. When you do talk to me, your mind is obviously preoccupied. Even Edward's said you've avoided him."

"Really, Alice," I said, attempting to keep my anger in check. Rosalie just stared at me. "What the hell does Edward have to do with anything? I really don't fucking appreciate you or you breaking into my room and yelling at me at eight in the morning. I especially don't need you lecturing me on how I spend my fucking time or how I need to get over _it_. I don't want to get into this right now or ever. Now would you both kindly leave my room before I say something we'll both regret?"

"I'm not letting this go, Bella," Alice said as she stood up and walked towards the door. "No one's telling you to get over anything. It's been almost three months of you in this hole and it's time to get out. You're better than this, Isabella. You really are. No matter what, your friends are here for you, even when you tell us to get lost."

Rosalie just shook her head at me as they left the room and shut the door. In the entire time I had known Rosalie, there has never been a time where she held back her opinion. She's the first to sling insults or say something comforting. Her silence shook me more than Alice's speech. Though Alice had an energetic and overwhelming personality, she rarely raised her voice in anger. The strength she exuded was amazed me and her words pierced my numb heart. I took a shaky breath and the hot tears immediately flowed down my face. They weren't wrong. I got up, jumped in the shower and realized time doesn't stop, even though I wish it had.

_When I landed in Jacksonville for New Year's, my mother picked me up from the airport. She was bouncing around like a little kid waiting to spill a secret. I just stared at her in confusion._

"_Will you just tell me?" I finally asked as she pulled out on the highway. I looked around and realized that the land in Florida is flat. There were no looming mountains in the background – just sky and buildings. The contrast in weather compared to Forks was apparent. It was chilly but the sun was shining bright. Just the week before I was knee deep in snow. _

"_Baby, I am just so excited you're here!" My mom giggled and brushed her bangs from her face. Everyone always said we resembled each other, but even now, I still couldn't see it. Where I had a lot of my dad's features, my mannerisms were all Renee-isms. Her blue eyes sparkled with a light I hadn't seen in a long time. Her brown hair was recently highlighted and layered short to frame her face. _

"_Oh my God," I suddenly said. "You're dating someone."_

"_What?" She almost slammed on the brakes and peered sideways at me. "How would you even guess that?"_

"_Oh, shit," I shook my head and refused to look at her. "It's all in your eyes, Mom. You get this starry-eyed look that I can't explain. The last time I saw that look, I was thirteen and we were living in, um, Austin. You were dating that insurance agent. What was his name? Jason. Jason Jenks. Whatever happened to that guy?"_

"_Isabella, you remember Jason?" My mom asked all dreamy. He really was a good looking man – Texas homegrown. He was rugged, like a cowboy, but cleaned up nicely with his dark hair and tanned skin. But it was his eyes that I remember. They were a shade of blue I'd never seen before. And he was nice to me. They dated for a couple of years. "He got transferred to Illinois for some job opportunity and as much as I wanted to move – like that has stopped me before – it felt too permanent. I chickened out and it ended there."_

"_Oh, I didn't know that," I mused. "Spill."_

_My mother proceeded to tell me about her new boyfriend, Phil Dwyer. They'd been dating the last six months or so. I slapped her arm playfully and admonished her for not telling me. He was a little younger than her and had a great job as an advertising executive for Major League Baseball. Phil splits his time between St. Petersburg and Jacksonville and my mom wouldn't have it any other way. She didn't leave out any detail and I swear she didn't take a breath the entire car ride. The green-eyed monster was slowly making its appearance, but I pushed it down and pretended that I was listening to everything. _

_We finally turned into a small townhouse community. All the homes were lined up in very neat quadrants. My mom made a bunch of turns until we finally made a left into a cul-de-sac and parked in the last driveway. Her two-story townhouse was painted brown with windows all in the front. _

_When we unloaded the car, the front door opened and a tanned man with dirty blonde hair, who looked part surfer and part baseball player, ran out to help. I assumed this was Phil. I was also proven right when he grabbed my mother and kissed her passionately. My stomach flipped at this sudden exchange of love. How did I become bitter and jealous in the span of a week? Meeting Phil was not as weird as it should have been. He was fun, loud and very obviously cared for my mom_.

The water ran cold and jerked me from my thoughts. I shrieked from the temperature and forced myself to stand under the spray and endured the pain until it numbed everything.

_The rest of that trip spiraled downward after I unpacked and slept in the foreign guest room. Being alone was dangerous as my thoughts spiraled out of control with the loss of Jake, the cheating and the confrontation. It was all too much for me to handle. I spent the next five or six days consumed by the onset of conflicting emotions – anger, hurt, love and sadness. The final crack that shattered my weak attempt to pretend all was well occurred three days into my trip. The celebrating and romance overwhelmed me. There was no way for me to separate Phil and my mom's relationship into a parental one, so all I focused on was the romantic aspect. I decided from that point to close myself off from everything and hide in the guest room. I didn't speak to Alice or Rosalie and I ignored Edward's text messages. I cursed my stupidity when I decided to look at Leah's profile. The baby pictures were posted and I almost became catatonic. I didn't leave my room the entire day. _

_I thought the tears were all shed in Forks, but apparently there were still ones begging to fall. Seeing me physically manifest how I felt continued to fuel my mom's anger towards Jake. I could see it in her expressions, but she was in rare form of just being there for me. As she gently ran her fingers through my hair, more tears were shed and left me exhausted. _

_The day before I flew home, my dad called and told me he found a car. He gave me the web address of the car company and wanted my opinion. I actually laughed out loud when I saw the Mini Cooper website pop up. Of all of the cars in the world, he figured those little Austin Powers' cars suited me. After I played on the site for a while, I ended up building a pretty sweet ride_

When I finally dried off from the shower, I looked out the window to the adjacent parking lot and saw my dark gray Mini sitting there. The car was sitting in my space the day I came home. To say I was shocked was an understatement.

_Alice picked me up from the airport in her yellow M&M of a car. She smashed me in a bear hug the minute we found each other. Who knew such a small person could be so strong? _

"_You look like shit, Bella," she uncouthly blurted out as she helped me load all my suitcases in her trunk and stuff what we could in her non-existent backseat. I sniffed and rubbed my hands over my makeup-less face. _

"_Um, thanks?" I coldly replied. "Nice to see your fucking face too."_

_I knew exactly how I looked – my normally styled hair was a mess of limp wavy curls, haphazardly held in a messy knot by a rubber band. My hoodie was pulled up and I had absolutely no makeup on. My eyes had horrible dark circles, since my sleep pattern still hadn't returned to normal. But at least I bathed and had clean hair. Without a word, I sat in the passenger seat. _

"_So, look," Alice continued politely. "I am very glad you are home. I've missed you. How was your trip?"_

"_Oh for fuck's sake. Really, Al?" I replied, looking straight at her. "We're going to pretend nothing's wrong? Just say it."_

_She sighed before speaking. "Bella, I don't want to fight with you. You look like you had a tough time. I tried calling and emailing you. I spoke to your mom too. What were you doing over there?"_

_I groaned. "Okay, I spent the entire time in the guest room. The days ran together and I felt like crap the entire time. I don't even know what the fuck today is either. I also got this bitter, jealous feeling about how happy Phil is with my mom. I hated watching them interact. And the best part? It wasn't like Phil's this awful guy that paws at my mom the whole time. They have a very symbiotic relationship. I've never seen a man compliment my mom the way he does. Not even my dad. _

"_So I basically cried a lot. Looked at profiles, I shouldn't still be looking. Oh, by the way the baby was like eight pounds and they did end up naming him Matthias. But have taken to calling him Matty. Cute, huh? He looks like such a natural father," I sighed dejectedly. _

"_Oh shit. Bella," Alice said as we sped down the freeway. We were just passing the buildings of Downtown. I was surprised at the lack of traffic today. "You have to stop looking at those profiles."_

"_I know!" I cried. "It's like an addiction though. Like at first, it was thrilling to see what I could uncover. My detective skills were amazing. But now that I know that this shit was real, the game is over. It just hurts like hell."_

_We continued to talk some more and the awkward tension from earlier dissipated between us. When we finally pulled into our parking lot, I noticed the monster that was my truck was gone. In it was parked a brand new gun metal gray Mini Cooper with a giant pink bow on the hood. _

"_What the hell is this!" I exclaimed happily. Alice parked and we walked over to the pretty little car. I circled it completely before embracing Alice. She held out the key to me. _

"_Jasper and I helped out your dad. He was trying to come down here, but work tied him up," she explained. "We towed the truck to some place that buys vintage cars and went to dealer to be the go-between for your parents."_

_I was shocked to say the least. I instantly loved the car. "Oh my God, it's going to need a name! Is it a girl, a boy, an it?"_

"_You are so silly," Alice said, giggling.  
_

As I dressed in some stretchy lounge pants and a long sleeved Henley, I knew Alice was right. I was just barely functioning. I purposely avoided everyone these last couple of months. My heartache hurt so much that it was an effort to paste a smile on my face in front everyone. I barely called my parents. I certainly never heard from Jake. Not that I was holding my breath. I'd also scaled back my spying on Jake and Leah. _Her _internet activity had slowed and no further mention of wedding plans existed. It became masochistic each time I saw new picture. Everyone but me seemed to be happily moving on with their lives.

I braided my wet hair into two braids and walked out to the living room. The TV was on and Alice was sitting on the couch with a computer on her lap while Rosalie painted her toe nails scarlet red.

"So, um, hi," I said quietly. I sat on the opposite side of the sectional. I looked at the TV and around our place. It hadn't changed. I don't know why I thought it would look different.

"Hello," Alice answered. "What do you want to watch? There's nothing on. Oh, there's some breakfast I put in the oven, to keep it warm."

Rosalie remained quiet and just nodded in my direction.

"Oh, wow. Thanks." I was starving. I got up, went to the kitchen and opened the oven. There were eggs, bacon and potatoes arranged neatly on a plate. I whipped up a glass of chocolate milk and brought it back to the coffee table.

"So, what's the latest gossip?" I asked as I took a bite of the scrambled eggs. They were delicious and covered in gooey cheddar cheese. With that one sentence, Alice told me everything that I had missed. I already knew snippets, but I hadn't listened too well the first time around.

"My brother wants to start a vintage beach tee line at the store," Alice proudly started. "He put me in charge of the project, which is awesome, because I'm going to dive into the business side more. With graduation just around the corner, I can finally put my business degree and the marketing aspect of my minor to work! I was even thinking of creating the line instead of buying from a designer, so we'll see."

"Wow, that's totally amazing, Al," I said when she finished. She went on to tell me about Jasper's plans after graduation. He had been accepted to graduate school in the fall and wanted to go into social work and help disadvantaged kids. For the past four years, Jasper worked with the Department of Children's Services and they recently hired him on as an assistant to one of the employees.

I told Alice the happenings at the Museum of the American West. We were in the middle of putting together the new exhibit for the upcoming summer. The exhibit will feature the struggles and triumphs of women in the west. I was a collections assistant, which meant I basically tracked inventory, cleaned artifacts and ensured proper storage.

"When I got back from Florida, my boss asked me to work more hours and get more training," I told her and Rosalie. "They hired project managers for the new exhibit. One of them is this guy, an East Coast import named Stefan Derevenko. He attended NYU and is on loan from the Natural History Museum. He's really smart and sarcastic."

Alice burst out laughing, "Did you tell him the mannequins at your museum don't come to life after closing?"

"Alice!" Rosalie finally showed some emotion and laughed while I rolled my eyes at Alice. "You're such a cornball."

"How old is he?" Alice continued giggling and ignored our reactions. "Is he cute? What does he look like?"

"He's about twenty-nine or so." I answered. "Um, yeah, he's handsome. He has shaggy black hair and deep blue eyes. He's pretty fair and built. He so does not look like a historian. He looks like he should star in some horror movie or play the brooding hero in a teen flick."

"Soooo?" Alice prompted.

"Soooo?" I mimicked. "Oh, Alice."

"What?" She asked innocently. "It's just a question."

"I am not getting into a 'how to seduce my co-worker' right now," I said. "Really."

"Okay, okay," she surrendered, but that damn twinkle in her eye was still there.

"Rose, how are the wedding plans coming?" I asked slowly. I didn't know where we stood, since I basically ignored her after hearing about her engagement. Her ring sparkled on her left hand. "Oh my God, your ring is beautiful."

Rosalie was leaning forward towards the coffee table as she finished painting her right pinkie toe. Her blonde mane hung like a veil over her right shoulder and hid her face. She put the brush back in the bottle and reached up to pull her hair into a low pony tail. Her ice blue eyes locked with mine.

"Is this how it's going to be then?" She asked seriously.

"Excuse me?" I asked uncertainly.

"We're going to pretend like nothing happened," she answered. "That you didn't push away your best friends and everyone who cares about you. Fuck, Bella, I thought we were closer than this. I understand the need for you to pull away and hide. We've all been there one way or another. You need to let us catch you when you're falling. That's what we're here for. You don't realize that Jake's actions affected all of us. It's certainly not in the same way as you, however, he should have realized when you mess with one, you mess with all of us. I hope one day I run into him so I can give him a piece of my mind because this shell of you sitting here is not you at all. I still have half a mind to do something."

I didn't know what to say.

"Rose," Alice quietly said.

"No, don't 'Rose' her," I said evenly. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. But all I could see was red. I knew the second I opened my mouth, my voice would start to escalate. "Look, I know this. I know exactly how I'm acting. Do you know how hard it is to wake up every morning? Hell, even going to bed offers no comfort to me. Every day and every night, I have to deal with the fact that I wasn't wanted! I wasn't loved by _him_!"

The girls just listened to me as I blurted out every thought that came to my head and continued. "It's been so hard since everything happened. With you getting engaged Rose, which I'm happy for you, but all I could focus on was that I had that. To hang around you both with the boys was hard enough. You're all so happy and in love. Then you throw in Edward and I try to imagine it's the six of us as a package. That's not reality though, which hurts even more. And it's not just Edward, if we had a different guy the same reaction would happen.

"I'm sorry for my behavior. I'm just trying to make it through each day. Everything reminds me of _him_. It's not so much the places, but little things that I miss. How many times can I vent about the same thing? 'I miss him, I hate him, we used to do this, we used to do that'."

"Bella, it's not-" Rosalie tried to interrupt but I continued. Alice had moved closer to Rosalie on the couch. I'd taken to pacing the floor.

"I know what you're going to say. That's what you're here for - to be there for me. But look, it's not like he died where we can remember him fondly and grieve together. No one can look at me and just say something comforting about the situation because you can't. I was dealt one of the worst hands ever. As much as I want to hate him and as angry as I am, I can't bring myself to be hateful. The love I held for that man for over four years is still there. In some ways I wished he had died or got hit by a car or something because to know what I know is killing me." My voice cracked and escalated as the tears escaped.

"To know _she_ married him, to know _she_ had his baby is too much. She took away everything I was working for and is living the life I wanted. So, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pushed you guys away and I'm sorry for not letting you in when you just wanted to be there for me. I just can't take any more lectures today. Seriously. I'm trying. I really am. And Rose?"

My tears flowed freely and my stunned friends looked up at me. Bad ass Rosalie discreetly wiped her eyes, while Alice was a blubbering mess like me.

"I really wished you could kick his ass too," I smirked through my crying.

"Aw, hell," she replied and got up to give me a hug. "We just want to be there for you. That's it. I swear I'll keep the lovey dovey shit to a minimum. I know that Em and I can get out of hand."

"Oh thank God," Alice muttered. "Bel, I think you just did all of us a favor." We laughed and Alice launched herself at us. "I want a hug too!" She cried. Rosalie and I giggled.

"I really am sorry, guys," I finally said.

"Stop apologizing," Rosalie answered. "We just want you to keep moving forward. You'll get through this and fare better in the end. You're not stuck with an immature boyfriend with apparent mommy issues. You have a job, you have a family, you have us and you are you."

"Thanks guys," I took a deep breath and felt a little lighter now that I was done ranting. We sat back down and didn't discuss my absence or _him_. We slid easily back into our friendship. Rosalie shared the only wedding plan her and Emmett agreed upon, the month it would take place – February.

"What else is going on?" I asked. Then I had a sudden realization and I think my face exhibited that.

"What happened?" Alice asked me. "Are you having a vision of the future?"

"Huh?" I looked at her incredulously.

"I don't know. I thought that deer in the headlights look could mean something more interesting." She shrugged her shoulders. "I think it'd be cool to see the future."

"Alice!" I said louder. "I remembered that Edward said the store was opening in April, but did I miss it?" Rosalie and Alice laughed at my outburst.

"Bella, relax," Alice said calmly. "You didn't miss it. It's supposed to open in a couple of weeks. I wouldn't not tell you."

"Oh God," I sighed, falling against the cushions. "That would suck major."

Edward hadn't crossed my mind often since I left Forks, though occasionally my thoughts wandered to him. He would text me occasionally either asking how I am or random stories of people he'd run into. They made me laugh and though I never wrote back, he still sent them. I missed the easiness of our conversations, but I didn't have the nerve to call or write back. I just couldn't. I had a three track mind – finish school, do my job and wallow at home. It was a very simple formula that alienated my friends from me.

By the late afternoon, Rosalie left for home. Alice and I continued talking until she had to get ready for her date with Jasper. She asked if I wanted to come, but I politely declined, telling her I just need one more day. I still received a pointed look that said, 'I'll hold you to it'.

As the week passed, I made a conscientious effort to speak to my friends. I even grew a pair and texted Edward a dirty joke and I wasn't surprised that he didn't write back. Much like the first day I met him at work, Stefan continued to make it a point to cross paths. Even if it was just to say hello.

"Hey, Isabella," a smooth voice, laced with a slight New York accent greeted me. I turned away from my computer and saw the blue eyed grinning project manager looking at me. Stefan was dressed in gray slacks, a light blue button down and matching tie.

"Oh, hey there, Stefan," I answered back shyly. I tucked a strand of hair behind my left ear. I swiveled my chair to face him and crossed my legs. I was wearing my black knee high boots, a long gray and black plaid skirt with black tights underneath. I paired a frilly collared white button down blouse with a wide red belt. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch today?" He casually asked as he sat in the guest chair next to my desk. He picked up the yellow stress ball and started fidgeting with it.

"Uh, sure, I guess so," I answered. "Let me finish up this page and I'll stop by your office."

"Alright, see ya, in a few," he replied. After he was out of sight of my cubicle, I texted Alice and let her know what happened. My body felt excited and weirdly okay. Logically, I knew that him asking me to lunch didn't mean anything, but I was shocked and excited that a handsome man actually paid attention to me.

I finished as quickly as I could and stopped by the restroom to fix my low side ponytail and makeup. I straightened up my outfit and walked out making sure I stood tall. I suddenly felt the confidence that I thought I had lost surge through me.

"Knock, knock," I said as stood in his doorway. His eyes caught mine when he heard me.

"Okay, let's eat," Stefan replied, rubbing his hands together.

There weren't many restaurant options near us, as the museum was hidden within lush trees and mountains of Griffith Park, so we walked over to the museum's cafeteria and grabbed the plastic food trays. We made small talk, which revolved around our lunch orders. I picked a turkey sandwich and some chips while he opted for the burger and fries.

"So, Isabella, what's new?" He asked before taking a bite of his fries.

"Well, um." I have always hated that question. I thought really hard and realized that I hadn't done anything interesting except deck my ex-fiancé. "Not much, just school and work."

"You're in your last semester of school, right?"

"Yep, thank God," I mocked wiping sweat off of my brow. I concentrated on not spilling any mayonnaise or mustard on my blouse. "Don't get me wrong, I enjoy school very much. I have great classes this semester, but I just need a break, you know?"

He nodded. "What are you taking this semester? You're on semesters or quarters?"

"Semester. I only am taking three," I started listing, "The American West, History of Women in Latin America and California History. They're all really interesting. The California one is probably my favorite. I have this professor who, seriously, is a surfing Marine. He's got this total messy beach bum hair and in each class his lectures feel more like stories he tells of his old friends, the Spanish Conquistadors and Padres of the missions. It's actually quite comical. At least I'm thoroughly entertained."

Stefan laughed at this. "That is important."

"What about you? You went to NYU, right?" I asked. "What did you major in?"

"Archives and Public History," he answered. "That's what my Masters is in. NYU has a great program. They have a huge History Department over there."

"That's amazing," I commented. "You grew up there? In New York? That's what your accent is?"

"You noticed that, eh?" he replied smiling. Our eyes caught and I quickly glanced down. I distracted myself by twirling my straw around the soda cup. "Born and bred in Long Island.

"Um, well," I sputtered out. "I love accents. I wish I had one," I rambled embarrassingly.

"You sort of have one. A TV one, anyway. Mine gets worse when I go home and spend a week with my family and friends," he laughed.

"Fantastic, I sound like every other person on nine hundred channels of cable." I giggled. "It must have been amazing to grow up in New York. I love living out here. I feel at home in bustling cities, rather than places with one stoplight."

"I thought you were from Seattle?"

"Oh, no. I've lived all over the place, but the last two years of high school were spent with my dad in a little town called Forks, Washington. That's where I met my best friends. We all moved to Los Angeles for college."

"That's great!" Stefan said as he finished up his lunch. "It must be nice to have a group surrounding you in a new place."

"It's just a bonus," I replied and took a sip of my soda. "I honestly can't see myself living in Washington. It's beautiful, yes, but the weather threw me off after living in such warm climates for so long." This was the first time I admitted out loud that I had no plans for a future in Forks. In the back of my mind, I think I always knew I'd never go back. I think I convinced myself that Jake would have moved for me. "Anyway, I should probably head back. I still have some cataloguing to do with the first arrivals we received last week."

I stood with my plastic tray as did Stefan. We walked over to the trash cans and I went to refill my cup with some soda.

"Thanks for joining me today, Iz," he said as we made our way to the elevators. "Maybe next time we can drive over to a restaurant. I know a great Italian place down in Los Feliz."

"Yeah, that sounds great," I said without hesitation, which surprised me. I knew exactly where he was talking about. His eyes widened with excitement. "So, 'Iz', huh?" I laughed. Stefan looked slightly embarrassed, like he said something I was never supposed to hear.

"Uh, yeah, is that okay?" He asked quietly. "You are definitely an Isabella, but you look like you'd have some funky nickname."

I laughed and shook my head. We walked onto our floor and stopped by his office. "I hardly think I warrant a funky name, but it's fine. I go by whatever someone decides to call me – Isabella, Bella, Bel, Hey You. You know, the usual. Iz is fine." I drummed a rim shot on the doorjamb. "I'll see you later, guy."

"Now I'm 'guy'?" He laughed. I just waved and kept walking. "See you later, Isabella."

I almost sprinted back to my desk. I couldn't believe how my afternoon turned out. I had a very pleasant conversation with a handsome, intelligent man who had a thriving career. A real job! I pushed away the faint pains that were beginning to emerge in my chest and physically rubbed my hand over my heart.

Later that afternoon, the euphoria from lunch wore off as I drove home. I thought back to Stefan's laugh from lunch and actually smiled at the new memory, but the image was quickly replaced by a similar memory of Jake's hearty, from the belly, laugh. I could easily picture the way his dark eyes sparkled and crinkled perfectly. I quickly shook off the offensive thought and angrily drove on. My thoughts continued to drift and I could clearly see Jake's emotionless expression from that fateful day. Memories of his deceit infiltrated my consciousness. By the time I pulled into the parking lot at the apartment I was livid and ready to take it out on something – anything.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I screamed as I pounded my brace-free fist at the steering wheel. "I hate him," I muttered. I got out and slammed the door, as the argument raged on in my head. What was wrong with me? Though I enjoyed lunch and the flirting, it left me feeling empty. I was excited in the moment, however, when he left, everything felt wrong. The image of Jake from four years ago floated in my mind and made my heart swell. That lasted mere seconds until the most recent memories of last year bombarded me. My head was a jumbled clusterfuck of conflicting wants, needs and despair.

I threw my purse on the ground and kicked one of the tires on the Mini. "You, stupid son of a bitch!" I yelled at the car, not caring if anyone heard me. Tears blurred my vision and I desperately wanted to fall to the ground, but stupidly thought it would ruin my tights.

"Bel, what'd the Coop ever do to you?" A familiar, deep voice, almost raspy voice interrupted. A voice I hadn't thought about since Christmas.

I whipped around, tucking a stray side bang behind my ear and met a pair of piercing green eyes. I couldn't decipher Edward's expression. Though he tried to mask his amusement by appearing concerned, that damn smirk showed up. I was never so happy and so embarrassed to see another person.

"What? Do you always lurk in parking lots, Cullen?" I asked as sarcastic as I could. He just laughed at me, which only further fueled my foul mood.

"Oh, Bella, relax," he calmly said. Edward, clad in jeans, Docs, and a gray Dodgers t-shirt, walked closer to me. As my head cleared a little, he handed me my discarded purse. "What's going on?"

"Um, sorry, I have a lot on my mind," I hesitantly said to the man whom I haven't spoken to in almost three months. "Can I start over?" I paused and turned my back, wiped under my eyes, then spun around to face him. "Hi! Edward! How've you been?"

Edward shut his eyes and burst out laughing. He scratched his forehead with his right hand. "What are you doing here?" I continued.

"I had to pick something up from Alice and she told me she was on her way home," he answered, following me to the front door of our place. We walked down the courtyard a bit and I let us inside.

"Okay," I answered. "Take a seat. I'm going to change real quick. Help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I'll be right back."

"Sounds good. Thanks," he replied as he plopped down on the sofa and turned on the TV.

I shut the door and made sure to lock it. I couldn't believe my luck right now. I grabbed some jeans and a blue flag shirt from Old Navy. I left my feet bare and checked my makeup in the mirror. Thank God for waterproof mascara. When I re-emerged into the living room, Edward was sitting comfortably on the couch watching something on MTV and eating out of a box of Cheez-Its. I sat cross-legged on the sectional away from the side he was on. Suddenly, I was nervous as the guilt for being a bad friend filled my conscience.

"You don't need to be nervous, Bella," Edward interrupted my thoughts. I peered to the right and he just smiled at me.

"I'm not nervous," I replied smartly, knowing full well I wasn't fooling anyone.

"I'm not mad at you," he continued, putting the cracker box down. He leaned back against the couch resting his arms on the tops of the pillows. "Or anything like that."

"You might as well be. Everyone else has taken the liberty of putting me in my place," I said as I twisted a strand of hair around my fingers. "I just couldn't deal with anything or anyone. I don't know how to be. One minute, I'm fine and the next I'm not."

"You can't blame yourself," he said looking at me. "You also can't let Alice and Rosalie bully you into anything. I know how upset they've been watching you internalize it all and not be able to make it better for you. Hell, we've all been worried. We all deal with things in our own ways. You do what you need to do to survive."

"Edward, you make things sound so much easier," I told him. "Dammit! You always have a way of making me blurt out what I'm thinking. I don't know why that is! It's so aggravating!"

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders as if to say, 'who me'? I continued and changed the subject. "So can I ask a question that has nothing to do with me?"

"Shoot," he answered in anticipation. His green eyes sparkled.

"How's the music store coming along?" I asked genuinely interested.

"It's awesome!" Edward's face lit up with pride and excitement. "We are finishing up on the last touches and the grand opening will be next Saturday night. Well pre-party launch, I guess you could say. I'll open Monday morning."

Though I was shocked and amazed, I was also sad that I missed out on the progress. "Congratulations, Edward. That is amazing. What does it look like? Did you figure out the name and look?"

"Oh yeah," he answered enthusiastically. "I don't know if I told you, but the building is solid brick. It has a lot of charm and in between some shops, over on the Westside. It has that retro feel in the front and I was able to gut the interior. I ripped through the second floor and opened up the space." My jaw dropped at the huge construction project. Edward continued describing the renovations. "So I ended up creating the second floor that stopped about a quarter of the way towards the front. It's wide open with railings. That space is a stage for open mic nights and small concerts with local bands or singers."

"Can I have some Cheez-Its," I interrupted him and giggled. He shook his head at me, while handing me the box. After placing a few in my mouth, I mumbled for him to continue.

"The first floor will be the actual store portion – CDs, records, some instruments, books, that sort of thing. The cashwrap will be off to the right side with merchandise placed throughout the store. There's lots of color used too – purples, blacks, and golds. When you look up, you can see whoever is performing. That balcony has a step down effect, so everyone standing up there can be seen from all sides of the store. The best part is the ceiling, though. There's a fiber optic design of a sky across the entire length of the building. Constellations and stars are strategically scattered and as the day goes on, the sky colors will change to reflect it, until nightfall when the full scale of the effects can be seen."

"That sounds insane!" I was in awe.

"Yeah, Tanya and I agonized over how to get the right look," he continued. The moment he mentioned Tanya, my stomach did a flip flop and I couldn't pinpoint the reason. "She had a lighting contact from Long Beach that gave me a great deal. Everything's pretty much ready to go."

"Do you have all your staff in place?" I don't know why I thought of his 'Like a Virgin' Madonna date from the Halloween party and cringed that she'd be there.

"Pretty much." Edward had a contemplative face. "I hired enough to get started and if need be, I'll enlist the help of my loving family – on a volunteer basis, of course." He looked at me when he said this and dramatically batted his dark eyelashes.

"No way!" I laughed and shook my head. I also beamed a little at being called family. "I am not volunteering my services to sell anything. My time is very valuable and I am a very busy woman who needs to get paid, thank you very much."

"Come on, Bella. Please?" His face took on a predatory glean as he leapt off the couch in front of me. His hands lunged for my sides and tickled me. That damn boy had the nerve to tickle me! I broke out in hysterics and squirmed under his touch.

"Stop! Please, Edward!" I cried. His grip was a like a vice and I couldn't escape. His laughter joined mine. "I'm," I gasped, "going to, uh, pee my pants, if you, uh, don't stop!"

"Say you're going to do it!" He bellowed in his laughter. "Busy, yeah right, Bel. How busy could you be if you never leave your room?"

I know he said that in jest, but the moment the words left his mouth, the hurt exploded and I took it personally. All I heard was an insult. I froze in his grasp. His hands gripped my sides and stilled when he realized I was staring at him. I could feel the tears forming. Edward's eyes grew wide with worry. I faintly heard the door unlock.

"I'm ho-," Alice's cheery voice filled broke the tension that had settled. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," I choked out. "Excuse me." I ripped myself out of Edward's grip. I didn't look back at the both of them as I ran to my bedroom.

After slamming the door, I felt stifled and couldn't breathe. I needed to get out of here. I threw on some flip flops, wiped my eyes and tried to breathe like a normal person. I looked in the mirror and fixed my hair into a regular ponytail. I walked out of my room without a second glance at Edward and Alice on the couch. As I made my way across the living room, they both tried to stop me.

"Bel –" Alice started it.

"I'm sor-" Edward said at the same time.

I threw my right hand up to halt them, grabbed my keys and walked out the door, slamming it behind me. I headed in no particular direction. I went down the street, made a left towards the boulevard. We lived in a neighborhood by a cute main street full of shops and little bistros. I thought about what made me snap. I knew I wasn't mad. I was madder at how I reacted. When did I become so sensitive? Oh yeah, when Jake fucking stomped on my heart. That's when.

It was the early evening. The street was busy as families were out with their kids, couples with their dogs and some joggers ran past me. I ignored them as I passed the movie theatre that only showed three movies at a time and walked into the book store. The bell rang when I opened the door. I smiled at the cashier and headed towards the back. I grabbed a book off of the shelf and stared at it. I don't remember what it was and focused more on why I freaked out. After some time, I came to the conclusion that I needed to relax. All I wanted was to feel normal, like myself, and I didn't. All I felt was the emptiness. I hated that Edward could make me feel okay and not okay at the same time. It was nerve-wracking.

I wanted to text Alice and Edward and let them know that it was all my fault, but I didn't take my phone with me. I decided to head home. It was dark when I left the bookstore and walked back up the street. As I passed the corner coffee shop, I heard my name called.

"Bella!" Alice's voice rang above the noise of the traffic. I looked up and saw her and Edward running towards me. I stopped where I was standing, but Alice didn't. She ran straight into me and hugged me frantically. "Are you alright?"

"Um, yeah, I'm fine," I told her. I looked up at Edward. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me. It was totally uncalled for."

"Bella, you don't need to apologize," he replied. His eyes had a hint of sadness. "I'm sorry I upset you. I didn't mean to insinuate anything or make you feel bad."

"You didn't. I completely overreacted," I told him. "Can we never talk about this ever again please? I've gone and embarrassed myself even more than before."

We all nodded in agreement. Alice spoke first. "Hey, we're right here." She pointed to the coffee shop. "Who wants pancakes for dinner?"

"I do!" I yelled like a ten year old. Edward laughed at me. "What? I absolutely love pancakes! I think they're my most favorite food next to yellow cake and chocolate frosting. Oh shit! I don't have my wallet."

"We got you covered," he replied Alice nodded. "Pancakes, it is. Ladies first." He held the door open for us.

When I woke up the next morning, I actually felt a little rested. Dinner the night before was casual and fun after the awkwardness of my panic attack. We fell into easy conversation about nothing particular – movies, school and work. Alice tried to bring up Stefan in front of Edward but I kicked her under the table to shut her up. I don't know why, but I didn't want to share that with Edward. It might also been because if Alice brought it up, Edward might have wanted to talk about the beauty of Tanya. I was not ready to go there. At least my thoughts on Stefan were purely fantasy and harmless.

Wednesdays normally were my favorite day of the week. I don't know why, they just were. My sleep pattern was finally getting back to normal and I slept dreamlessly for the most part. After taking a nice long shower, I half air dried; half blow dried my hair into waves and weaved it into a side braid. I clipped the front of my hair up. I decided to wear a navy woven dress with orange and red flowers embroidered down the front that stopped above my knees. It featured a scoop neck with a peephole front that tied. The sleeves were loose down my arms and it cinched right under the bust line. I paired that with my strappy brown leather wooden wedges. The weather had warmed up some in the past week or so. That's what endeared me so much to Los Angeles, it always felt like a constant eighty degrees and sunny. My makeup complemented the bohemian look I had going today.

I grabbed a Pop-Tart package from the pantry and headed to work. When I pulled into the parking lot at the museum, I was humming a song and was startled when I heard my name.

"Isabella!" I looked around and finally saw Stefan waving at me from across the lot. Like the giddy school girl that I sometimes became, I smiled and waved back. He made his way towards me and a thrill shot up my spine. So many conflicting emotions came with that and I told myself to shut up and relax – my new mantra.

"Good morning, Stefan," I greeted him. He, of course, looked like he stepped out of a Macy's catalog. He was dressed impeccably in a black suit with faint pinstripes, a white collared shirt and a black silk tie. "You look fancy today."

"Why thank you," he commented. His hair was styled and his dark blue eyes sparkled in the sun. "You like?"

"I do," I replied coyly. I don't know where flirty Bella came from. It just flew out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it.

Stefan grinned at me and I noticed he had one dimple on the left side of his face.

"I have a meeting with the curator and the other project managers today," he stated. "It's at noon, so I'm afraid we can't have lunch together later."

"Sounds important. That's okay, I'll try to occupy myself somehow," I jested. "Maybe Garrett or Demetri are free."

"Isabella, are you trying to make me jealous?" Stefan countered. I broke eye contact immediately and he laughed. I was rendered speechless without a witty comeback.

"Um, no," I managed to get out. Smooth Swan, real smooth.

"I do want to ask you something, though," his eyes gazed into mine. We weren't standing super close, but it felt like it. I nodded. "Do you think, maybe, you would let me take you out this Friday?"

My head tried to comprehend what he just said. A date? A date? As I stared blankly at him, the pause became deafening. Stefan's face looked worried and he half coughed which grabbed my attention.

"Oh. Oh! Um, yes?" I stuttered. I don't know why it came out as a question. My head screamed, 'abort! Abort!'

"Are you sure?" He asked tentatively. No, I thought. He looked hurt.

No, my head repeated."Yes, I'm sorry," I said more steadily, willing my brain to shut the hell up. "Definitely. You caught me off guard. I don't do this often." I gestured between us. Stefan's stance relaxed immensely and his radiant smile returned.

"Somehow I don't believe that for one minute," he mused. Suddenly his Blackberry chirped. "I need to run, but I'll stop by later after the meeting. Thanks, Iz."

"Sure, sure," I replied. "Good Luck!" He walked away from me and headed into the building. I took my time locking the car, and tried to grasp what just transpired in the Autry parking lot. I laughed out loud and shook my head. I texted Alice immediately.

_omg. you will never guess what just happened._

Sent 3/31 9:05 a.m.

_spill._

Received 3/31 9:07 a.m.

_s just asked me out and i said yes. i don't know why. i'm freaking out a little bit._

Sent 3/31 9:07 a.m.

My phone rang not too much longer after that. "Hel-"

"What!" Alice's shrill made me wince. "Really! Oh my God! This is amazing! Bella! Oh my God! I'm so proud of you! Hold on."

I didn't hear anything for a second and then it sounded like she connected to another line. I almost said hello again, when a gravelly voice answered.

"This better be good Alice. I got home at four this morning and I'm not in the mood," Rosalie's sleep induced voice greeted us.

"Alice, this did not warrant a meeting of the minds," I interrupted.

"Oh shove it, Bella," Alice replied. "This is monumental!"

"Bella's here too?" Rosalie asked. "Alright, kids. I'm up. Well, I'm sitting up now. What the hell is going on? Em, babe, you need to get up. Continue, please."

I groaned. "Bella, please repeat for the class what transpired this morning," Alice's voice took command of the conversation.

I explained my surprise morning conversation and they both squealed when I was done. Then I heard Emmett's voice.

"Damn, Rosalie! My freakin' ears."

"Serves you right, hon. You should have got up the first time I told you," she replied sarcastically. I could hear him grumbling. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are not morning people, girls. But I won't kill you this time."

"So where's he taking you?" Alice asked.

"I don't know," I replied.

"What are you going to wear?" Rosalie interjected.

"I don't know," I repeated.

"Bella, how are we supposed to help you get ready and get you all kissable, if you don't have details?" Alice whined into the phone.

"Yeah, Bel," Rosalie added.

"Oh my God. I don't know what is going on," I laughed and shook my head as if they could both see me. "I'll see him after his meeting and hash out the details. Okay? You'll be the first to know when he tells me. Deal?"

"Deal," they answered in unison.

We chatted a little bit longer as I made my way into the museum. I spent the morning cataloguing the latest shipment with three of my co-workers. I reveled in the feeling of awe each time a crate was opened with a crowbar. As I organized the collection, questions of their histories plagued my mind – who had it belonged to, how old was it, how was it passed down or how a collector acquired it. As I told Stefan, I did end up having lunch with both Garrett and Demetri. They were assistants like myself and their antics and sarcasm made the day pass quickly. Working in the museum wasn't like an Indiana Jones movie with crazy quests or mystical interferences, so we needed people with personalities to break the monotony that sometimes settled around us.

As I packed up my desk for the day, Stefan stopped by. He had removed his suit coat and loosened his tie, but still looked flawless.

"Hello, Isabella," he greeted me.

"Hey, yourself," I smiled at him. "How was the meeting?"

Stefan went on to describe the meeting which entailed installation dates, tear down dates, upcoming meetings with the curator for the design and much more. There were more meetings scheduled which will eventually include the assistants as we update the project managers of the inventory.

"So that's pretty much it," he finished. "So about Friday."

I wanted to giggle so bad at his segues. "Yes?"

"I was thinking, how's about I pick you up, and we do dinner, but it'll be a surprise," he winked at me.

I didn't know what to say. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against surprises, but you know that little voice that says, 'stop, let's re-evaluate this'? Yeah, I told mine to shut up and decided I'm going to act completely opposite of my normal thinking process and just 'shut up and relax'.

"Sure, why not," I said evenly. "What is the attire?"

"Nice and comfortable shoes that you're not afraid to walk in," he commented. "Not tennis shoes, though.

"This sounds weirdly mysterious, sir," I quirked my head at him.

"Enjoy it, Swan," he left me. "See you later!"

Friday quickly approached and Stefan was going to pick me up around five. I didn't have to work today, so I lounged around the apartment with Alice. She decided since I got to stay home, she should as well. Before we grabbed lunch, we went through my closet, looked for something to wear, just in case I needed to hit the mall for an outfit. We settled on tight fitting jeans with an off the shoulder, sparkly cream top and my knee high brown leather boots that had a low wedge.

I nervously sat waiting for Stefan to pick me and twirled a piece of my straightened hair around my finger. Alice wished me luck before she left for the evening. Instead of staring at the clock every thirty seconds, I grabbed my laptop and ignored my conscience screaming 'Don't do it!' at me. I foolishly logged into the dreaded wedding site of Jake's. The content hadn't been updated or changed in the last couple of months, so I thought nothing of it. Boy was I wrong!

"Oh, shit," I whispered. "Oh my fuck." I took a deep breath and re-read the breaking news that greeted me on the home page.

_We can't wait to you see you all! Check_

_out the new details! Jake, Matty and me _

_can't wait to c u all in a couple of weeks!_

_Kisses,_

_Leah Clearwater to be Black_

Following that whore's instructions, I clicked on the details page and in bright, bold, pink letters – Saturday, March Third. That was tomorrow. I was speechless and literally cried out in frustration. I couldn't cry even if I tried. I looked at the wedding party and all the groomsmen were his friends and her son. His fuckin' friends were going to be there, which means, they knew. They had to have known. God, I felt like an idiot. Why wouldn't they know? Those are his best friends. _Everyone_ lied to me. _They_ covered for him. Damn that bros before hos code.

I thought back to Quil's cryptic texts from Christmas and realization dawned on me. His friends, our friends, were not mine. His pack of friends were two-faced dogs. Jake's getting married and his friends and family are going to show up and celebrate this union as if I never existed. I felt the air rush from my lungs and I gasped for oxygen. My head hurt and repeated the only thought that's been on the forefront of my brain since December – 'he didn't want you'.

Before I felt the beginnings of a full on panic attack, my cell chirped with a text message. I robotically reached for it and it was Stefan letting me know he was five minutes away. Stefan! I totally blanked that he was still coming to get me. I quickly exited the internet and closed the laptop. I ran to the bathroom and made sure my face was perfect. Thank God, I hadn't cried or I was screwed with masking the pain that coursed through my body. I physically felt ill and my stomach was in knots. I briefly contemplated calling Alice or Rosalie for a pep talk, however, just as I pulled the phone out, the intercom buzzed.

"Hello," I said after I pressed the talk button.

"Isabella? Hey, I'm here." Stefan's masculine voice invaded the speaker.

"Oh, cool. Okay. I'll be right there," I answered. My mood shifted a bit and that nervous excitement I felt from earlier returned. I took a cleansing breath, grabbed my bag and locked up the apartment. The sun was still out as I walked through the courtyard to the front gate.

There waiting on the other side was Stefan, dressed in dark jeans, a horizontally striped maroon and white polo and gray Top-siders. His dark hair looked like he styled it by running his hands through it and fell perfectly around his eyes. I internally did a happy dance at how handsome he looked. He smiled when I reached him and I gave him a quick hug.

"Hey," I said as I closed the gate.

"Hey, yourself," he replied. "You look amazing."

"Oh. Thank you," I stuttered. "You're not so bad yourself." I suddenly felt like I was in a horribly written and very awkward teen movie.

"Thanks," Stefan answered and led us down the block. "I'm parked right over here."

He led us to a beautifully kept white Dodge Challenger. The car was fitted with what looked like twenty inch, five point wheels with a black finish. The windows were tinted limo black. I actually whistled at the car. Stefan looked at me and laughed.

"See something you like?" he asked.

"I see something else I like," I blurted out and giggled at the innuendo I threw in there. I had no idea where that came from. I looked away from Stefan and focused on the lines of the car. "You have an amazing ride."

"Well," he started. "Please, m'lady, take a seat and we'll be on our way." He opened the passenger door for me and closed it when I sat down. When he sat in the driver seat, I immediately asked him where we were headed. "I can't tell you yet."

"Seriously?" I pretended to whine and bounce in the seat. "Please?" He shook his head and turned the key in the ignition. The car roared to life and loud, rock music blared throughout the cabin. He immediately lowered it. I vaguely registered that it was Pennywise chanting that damn 'Bro Hymn'. "Puh-lease?"

"Okay, how about a clue?" He offered and I nodded. "We're going to a place where a dream is a wish your heart makes."

"What?" I asked astonished. "What the hell kind of clue is that?" I then realized how obnoxious I sounded. Stefan just laughed and drove on. We drove down the 5 South Freeway and I continued to wrack my brain of where we could be headed.

"Iz, you're going to hurt yourself, if you furrow your brow even more," Stefan's voice broke my train of thought and I laughed sheepishly.

That sort of broke the ice and we began a pretty superficial conversation revolving around movies and TV shows. He adored Seinfeld and I just didn't understand it. It must be a New York thing because I don't find it funny. Never have. We continued talking and I saw how far we were driving away from L.A. As Los Angeles morphed into Downey to Buena Park, I realized we were headed towards Anaheim to Disneyland – 'a dream is a wish your heart makes' – Cinderella. My breathing hitched a little bit.

Thoughts of Jake and I there and then him and Leah plagued my mind. I had a very sore spot for that theme park and had no intentions of ever visiting it again. I began to bite my thumbnail in attempts to will the hurt I felt away. Flashes of Leah's pictures crossed my mind in rapid succession and the fact that the wedding will take place the next day killed me. A muffled buzzing infiltrated my hearing and it turned out to be Stefan's voice. He was now talking about the complexities of Lost. He literally lost me when he brought up the faux pas that was Walt.

"Darlton never should have-" Stefan continued ranting about the creators' woulda, coulda, shouldas.

"I want another clue," I uttered, attempting to keep the worry out of my voice. I smiled at him as sweetly as I could. I prayed we going to Medieval Times or the Northwoods Inn. Hell, I'd take even take an Angels game over Disneyland.

"What?" He replied. "Oh, okay. Um, let's see." He clicked the wheel on his iPod and sounds of the Electrical Parade emitted from the speakers. I wanted to burst out laughing. Who has that music on command?

"We're going to Disneyland?" I faked enthusiasm so I didn't hurt his feelings. He had no idea what he got himself into and I was not going to tell him. Hell, I don't even know what I was doing here. "And why the hell do you have that downloaded?"

"Not just Disneyland," he happily explained. "We are dining at the Blue Bayou and then see some fireworks." I smiled at him and tried to calm my rapidly beating heart as he pulled off the freeway and into the entrance to the massive parking structure. "I was trying to come up with clues for you, and downloaded this at the last minute. It's the only one I have, I swear."

After parking on the Goofy level, we descended the escalators to the awaiting trams. I noticed other people had either just arrived like us, probably headed to Downtown Disney or on their way back to the park. While we sat on the tram, I texted Alice and let her know where we ended up. She wrote back, in caps, 'no way', followed by a 'are you okay?' I told her I was fine and that I'd let her know if it changes.

He paid for the tickets and we made our way through the turnstile entrance. As we walked to Main Street I led him over to the window displays at the Emporium. I had always loved the ever changing designs of these displays. As I looked at a very sweet one of Sleeping Beauty and her prince, I got lost in sweet memories of Jake and I. I just smiled forgetting the world. I felt something brush against my hand and it was instantly embraced by soft, warm fingers. I turned and half expected to see deep, brown eyes, but dark blue ones with lush eyelashes greeted me instead. Stefan smiled at me and I gave him a half smile.

When we walked towards the looming pink castle, I desperately wanted to leave. I didn't think I had the strength to make it through dinner, let alone, watch fireworks with someone I barely knew. I thought I was fine. I thought I could handle this, but I couldn't. He wasn't what I wanted. My want was getting married tomorrow. He wasn't even mine to want anymore. I damned my memories as Stefan led me through Adventureland. I saw a restroom and quickly excused myself. I stared in the mirror and internally gave myself a pep talk. 'Bella, you cannot be rude to him. You need to play nice. He totally planned this for you. Don't think of _him._'

I took a breath and decided to try and not ruin anything. When I exited the ladies room, Stefan was leaning against a rock wall.

"Shall we?" I said and smiled at him. His face visibly relaxed and we weaved our way through the massive amount of people flooding around the Jungle Cruise. "Hey, can we go to the Tiki Room after?"

"Sure," he replied. "I've never actually been in there before."

"What?" I replied in shock. "Everyone needs a little aloha, now and then. I love the Tiki Room."

We made a left after the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and Stefan proceeded to check the reservation. There were a lot of people waiting to be seated and I laughed at how nothing's changed.

"It's going to be about ten minutes," his smooth voice explained. I nodded and he led us to the little waiting area.

"This is insane," I commented as we sat a newly unoccupied bench. I shook my head and laughed that I was actually at Disneyland at seven o'clock at night.

"What is?" The New Yorker inquired.

"This," I gestured widely. "I can honestly say no one has ever surprised me the way you have with dinner at the happiest place on earth."

"I did good then?" Stefan wiggled his eyes brows at me. It completely reminded me of Edward's teasing. 'Serious Bella? First Jake and now Edward?' My brain screamed at me. I nodded my head. "Isabella, I find it hard to believe you haven't been wooed before."

"Did you just say 'woo'?" I burst out laughing. "I didn't say it I've never been surprised. I just said no one's ever pulled off what you did tonight. That's all."

The hostess called Stefan's name then and we followed out to the terrace that overlooked the Pirate's loading dock. It was very strange being on this side of the ride. I'd only seen it from sitting in those boats as we sailed past it. After perusing the menu, I chose the filet mignon, while Stefan settled on the Jambalaya. After placing our orders, I decided to be polite and continue the conversation.

"What brought you to L.A.?" I asked. Stefan sipped his soda before answering and I suddenly wished Disneyland sold alcohol.

"Well, that's a long story, but the abridged version includes a messy divorce, a need for a change of scenery and I want to be an actor," he succinctly answered.

"Seriously?" I was dumbfounded. None of that made any sense.

"The actor part, not so much," he laughed. "But everything else is true. I've been divorced for almost two years now and I've been in L.A. for almost a year."

"Do you date a lot?" I nosily asked. Then immediately clamped my hand over my mouth. I was honestly curious, how do you go from being in love with one person to another and not feel the pain of that loss? "Sorry, please don't answer that."

"No it's okay," he replied. "I don't not date. I've found the best way to mend a broken heart is to dust yourself off and find it again without looking too hard. Things always fall into place."

"That's very profound," I mused.

"So what about you?" Stefan asked as the waiter brought out our food. It all looked amazing and not like normal theme park food either. It was restaurant quality. I was impressed to say the least.

"What about me?" I hesitantly answered while I cut up my steak. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Are you a serial dater?" He continued. "You strike me as someone who thrives in relationships."

Dammit. I had to open up a can of worms. I felt like I needed those stupid Twix moments, when those guys in the commercials shove a whole Twix bar in their mouth. "Um, well, that's true. I don't date a lot. I went out with a couple of guys in high school." I purposely left out the most important piece of why I hadn't dated – I had someone. "And well, college is a busy time for everything."

I averted my eyes and glanced at the ceiling. The conversation sort of tapered off into that awkward, what to talk about phase. Stefan was nice, but this whole date thing felt forced. Work allowed our interaction to be minimal and quick. Now, I struggled to find common ground. What I know about him – a New Yorker, a divorcee, a historian, a beautiful car and he had his own taste in music. I bit my bottom lip and took a sip of my soda. This man has lived a whole other life from me and has had experiences I couldn't even relate to.

"So, are you going to tell me about your break up?" Stefan asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?" My head whipped up and I stared at him.

"It's okay," he replied. "I can just tell. You obviously wear your heart on your sleeve. Your eyes really exude your melancholy."

"Oh my God," I placed my head on the table and began to repeatedly bang my forehead against it. I was mortified.

"It really is okay, Isabella." Stefan touched my arm and I looked up at him. I was mad now. I was mad at Jake for putting me in a situation like this. I was mad at Stefan for asking me the one question I really didn't want to answer. I felt like I was treading water with no life raft in sight. I liked Stefan, but I liked him as a colleague. Not even as a friend. This has turned into such an embarrassing disaster.

"Listen," I began. "I really don't want to get into this right now. I also really don't want to fucking cry at Disneyland. This was a really sweet gesture and I totally appreciate the effort you put into this. You're right and I don't know what I was thinking in coming out with you tonight. Just know it was bad. Like life altering bad."

"It's not you, it's me, right?" He stated sadly.

"No! It's not even like that," I countered. "I don't even know where to place a sentence like that in a conversation. I just know I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And it's not fair to you. I also realize I sound nuts. So, please when Monday comes, be kind."

"Isabella," Stefan began. "I'm not out to make you uncomfortable. I just thought we could get together and have a little fun. That's it. No expectations."

"Great," I concluded. "I don't even know where to go from here."

"Well, how about, we finish here and hit your Tiki Room, then see what happens," he signaled the waiter over. "We don't even have to stay for fireworks."

I felt terrible. I was such a jerk that didn't deserve human interaction. I hated this theme park. It once held romantic and fond memories but now it was tainted. Stefan paid the bill even though I asked him to split it, but he wouldn't let me stating that he invited me out. I didn't want to argue and let him.

I bought him a cream cheese filled pretzel as a peace offering and the tension and awkwardness lessened some. We began people watching. I pointed out every Crocs wearing tourist and he counted every time someone walked by in those Mickey Mouse ears with the wedding veils. We did go to the Tiki Room and no matter what, I still loved it. Those little singing birds made my evening. I wished I was really in Hawaii, away from everything. We didn't watch the fireworks and instead hit some rides. The distraction of being on a ride and shorter lines brought the conversation back to everything general. I relished in it.

As we headed back home, the radio provided enough background noise, to drown out the silence that descended upon us. Stefan walked me to the front gate of the apartment building and I thanked him for a lovely time. I told him I'd see him next week at work. The gate shut with a loud bang which startled me and the tears I'd been holding back since the afternoon ascended. By the time I reached the front door, I was sobbing and had a hard time catching my breath. The apartment was dark and I stumbled to my room. Without bothering to change or even remove my shoes, I collapsed on the bed and cried.

I cried for the girl whose dreams of marrying Jake and having a life with him were shattered. I cried for the girl whose trust was completely broken. I cried for the lies she endured for so long. I cried for the deceit he imposed on her. I cried for the broken pieces of her heart that had no chance of recovery. I cried for a love lost. I cried out of the fuckery of the night. I just cried until I drifted off to sleep.

I woke sometime during the night with my face stuck to the pillow and my body completely twisted on top of the blankets. When I looked at the clock it was four-thirty in the morning. Groaning, I stiffly tried to move and felt my way to the bathroom. The light blinded me and I looked like a zombie. My makeup was smeared and I had terrible raccoon eyes from the remnants of mascara and eye shadow. Trails of black eye liner trailed down my tear stained face. My eyes were red and blood shot. As I waited for the water from the faucet to reach a decent temperature, I just stared at my face. I suddenly felt old and weary. For the past six months, I'd had the burden of Jake's lies consume my every waking moment and sometimes even in my dreams causing nightmares.

"Ugh," I groaned again to my reflection. "Fuck this. I'm taking a shower." I switched off the sink and turned the shower on to the highest heat it would go and watched the bathroom quickly steam up. I undressed and tested the water. I flinched at the heat and rolled my eyes. There was no way I was even going to attempt to stand under that. I quickly turned on the cold water and it finally calmed down to a soothing temperature. As I lathered up my hair with some tropical smelling shampoo, I came up with a game plan.

For my sanity, I wrestled with rationalizing everything. I knew Jake was getting married tomorrow, in the afternoon. Tomorrow was going to be a turning point for me. I couldn't let his memory haunt me anymore and I definitely wouldn't let it hinder me. I would give him until tomorrow to apologize or make some kind of contact. At least I knew it would be of his own volition and not years from now when the guilt of being such an asshole ate at his soul. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting on him. Not that me punching him was an indication that we were no longer anything to each other. From that point on, I will take it one day at a time and embrace everything. I began to realize that life didn't work like the movies. The good guys didn't always win in the end and bad things do happen to good people.

I finished up in the shower, a little more hopeful with my little plan. A plan only for me and no one else. I will wake up in the morning ready to greet the day and attend Edward's grand opening with a lighter heart and less of this burden on my shoulders. Damn this positive thinking. Now I just need to believe it.


	11. I Want to Breathe in a New Beginning

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

I want to thank **auroraboralis** and **edward'sbella17** for the awesome reviews! You guys are the first ones to officially review and I loved reading them! Also, thanks to all of you who are reading and putting this story on alert!

BTW – This is where the M rating comes in to play…just a little bit.

**[Chapter 11: I Want to Breathe in a New Beginning]**

_The setting was perfect. Beautiful blood red roses adorned the altar and aisle. The bouquet had thirteen perfectly bloomed roses that were snugly tied together by heavy black velvet fabric. The strapless white wedding gown was covered in intricate lace and fit the bride flawlessly. A matching band of black velvet wrapped around the waist right under the bust line and tied into a complicated bow in the back. The black tails flowed towards the train. He was standing at the altar by the priest in a traditional black tuxedo. The vest matched the color of the roses. His once long hair was cut short and styled. He smiled wide at his waiting bride. As she made her way down the long, flower-laden aisle, violins played the romantic melody of Lifehouse's 'You and Me'. _

"_Dearly Beloved…" the priest with kind eyes began. The church was quiet and sniffles could be heard from those crying. Tears of happiness, no doubt. _

"_I, Jacob Thomas, take thee Isa-" he paused. My heart was light and ready as I stared into those sparkling deep brown eyes full of love and hope._

"Bella!" A different voice infiltrated my subconscious. I suddenly sat up and looked around confusedly. There was no one in my room. I rubbed my hands over my face and instantly remembered my dream. I wanted to scream. It felt so real. Then I remembered today was THE day – their wedding. A knock stilled my jumbled thoughts. "Bella?"

It was Alice. "Yeah?" I called out, my voice raspy from sleep. "Come in."

"Good morning, sweets," she greeted me. Her pajamas had cupcakes printed all over her legs and her hair was a complete mess.

"Morning," I replied. "What's up?"

"How was last night?" I groaned at her inquiry. "Let's make some breakfast and you can tell me all about it."

"Oh, God. Alright. Give me fifteen minutes and I'll meet you in the kitchen." Alice nodded as I got up and made my way to the bathroom to shower.

When I walked into the kitchen, Alice had the pancake batter ready to go and I could smell the bacon frying. I sighed happily. I pulled a pan out of the cabinet and set it on the stove.

"It's all yours, chick."

"Thanks, Al." I took the bowl of batter and tested the temperature of the pan. The water I sprinkled in the pan sizzled and I poured the first ladleful. Besides the soft sounds of the batter cooking, the kitchen was silent. As the pancake set, I plucked the crispy bacon out of the other pan, plated them and put it in the oven to stay warm.

"Well?"

"It was so stupid. I don't know what I was thinking."

"It couldn't have been that terrible," Alice said reassuringly. "I'm proud off you. I know it took a lot for you to even consider another guy."

"I'm not there yet," I stated. "My gut instinct told me that I was nowhere ready to be even thinking about dating someone else but I feel so alone." With that I relayed the entire night to her – the car ride, Disneyland, the awkward conversation and all around unnerving feeling I got from Stefan.

"Oh, Bel," she said sympathetically. "He seemed so put together on the outside. Seriously, though, who takes a girl out on a first date to Disneyland and just for dinner? Hmmm. Besides his terrible taste in music, where do you think it all went wrong?"

"That's easy," I took a deep breath. "Jake's getting married today and I had found out minutes before Stefan picked me up. It just hit me and I didn't have –"

"What?" Alice screeched. "What do you mean he's getting married today? Did he talk to you? Oh my God, Bella. What a fucking asshole! To have the nerve to call and tell you. What, like he needs to clear his conscience before marrying that woman?"

"Al." I tried to calm her down as she sat down on one of the bar stools by the counter. "Ali, Alice! Listen to me. He didn't call me. I logged on to the wedding site and all the details were posted for the world to see. Everyone in his family will be there and all his friends are part of the wedding party. It's no surprise that Quil's his best man." My heart started pounding as I said the words out loud and it didn't feel real until this moment. In a soft, shaky voice I continued. "He's going to marry her."

Alice didn't say anything as I turned back to stove and concentrated on flipping the pancake. There were no tears which confused me. I wasn't upset in the normal, Bella's upset and will sob, but rather, I felt removed. Jake's wedding, as ridiculous as it sounded in my head, had absolutely nothing to do with me.

"We need to get out of the house today," Alice suddenly said. I just looked at her. "We have plenty of time before we have to head over to Edward's shindig. We can't sit back and stare at the clock or wonder what those people are doing. Especially Crazy."

"Okay." I slid a plate over to her with a small stack of pancakes and some slices of bacon. Alice hopped off the stool and poured herself a cup of coffee that had been brewing thanks to the auto-start setting. "Can we hit Bed, Bath and Beyond?"

"Sure, what for?"

"I want new bedding and sheets." I finished up the rest of the pancakes and made myself a plate. I plopped next to Alice on the other bar stool after I poured a glass of milk. "I want new things and a new bedroom. Today is a new day. It has to be."

"That sounds like a plan," Alice responded as she took a bite of gooey, syrup covered pancake. I silently prayed a Hail Mary for the strength to get through today.

After we finished breakfast, Alice and I both headed to our rooms to get dressed. We hopped in my car, and headed over to neighboring city of Burbank to Bed, Bath and Beyond. I didn't exactly know what I was looking for in terms of color or design, just that I needed everything different. I kept my phone close to me in my pocket – in hopes of something, a sign, or maybe the off chance that Jake would call me. For what? Right now, I would take anything. As many times as I ran it through my head, I still couldn't wrap around the 'why' of his actions.

Alice flitted around the store oohing and aahing at all the new kitchen gadgets. I kept seeing this blur of dark hair run past me up and down the closely placed aisles. I waited in anticipation for the sound of merchandise crashing to the ground and the guilty look on my friend's face next to a mess.

"Hey!" I called out to her. "Look at this one." I found a duvet cover in solid, warm, wine colors of deep purples and maroons.

"That's really pretty," Alice commented. She walked over to me carrying something. I just shook my head.

"What the hell did you find?" I laughed at her.

"This," she held out her hand, "is a showerhead that lights up the water as you shower. It changes from red to green to blue. It's kind of like having the Bellagio fountain show in your bathroom."

"What?" I was hysterical at this point. "Where do you even find something like that?"

"Well, I saw it in those airline magazines that you can read on the plane. You know that catalog with all the weird gadgets."

I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard. Only Alice could fall in love with weird As Seen on TV products. "And the other thing?" I gasped out.

"Oh! A Snuggie," she replied matter of factly.

"Alice! You are killing me!" I cried out. I was clutching a decorative pillow to my chest.

"It's just so soft." She placed her items in the little cart that was quickly filling up with my new bed set.

"That's what he said," I quipped and rolled my eyes at her. "Help me get some pillows."

"Yes, ma'am," she saluted me.

We gathered up the matching shams, bed skirt, and duvet. We headed over to where the bed pillows were and Alice and I tested out the many different types that were on display.

"I have never seen so many pillows before," I said as I fluffed a pillow that was specifically labeled for a side sleeper.

"I know, right?" Alice said as she fluffed her own pillow. "Look at this one – the memory foam creates a feeling of sleeping on a cloud, made with the rarest materials only found at the farthest corners of the earth."

"Al, how much is that pillow in your hand?" I laughed as I felt how soft and perfect it was.

Alice burst into giggles and her gray-blue eyes widened. "A hundred and sixty bucks!"

"No freakin' way," I giggled. She just nodded her head. "Here, we'll just take these." I handed her two uncomplicated, simple, fluffy pillows.

We wandered around the store a little bit longer and looked at some of the other departments. When we finally reached the cashier I noticed the time. "Hey, Al, what time do we have to be over on the west side?"

"Uh, not til after eight," she replied and gathered her pile of merchandise to place on the counter. "Jas thought we could grab dinner and meet Em and Rose there, since they're coming from the opposite direction."

"That sounds like a plan," I replied and brushed a stray hair off my forehead.

"Your total comes to four hundred and twenty-five dollars," the clerk interrupted. I handed him my card, signed the sales receipt and placed the bags back in the shopping cart. I cringed at the total, but quickly reasoned this was a good thing. New beginnings, my rational head screamed at me. As I waited for Alice to finish up, I checked my phone for the umpteenth time. It was getting close to two o'clock and no calls.

Before my head could start rambling with what-if scenarios, I was saved by Alice, once again. "Let us be off!"

Thanks to the light traffic on a Saturday afternoon, we made it home in no time.

"Jas'll be here around six-ish and we'll head over," Alice told me when we walked into the apartment.

"Okay, I'm going to put the new bedding on," I replied. "I'll bug you later about what you are wearing."

Alice headed towards her bathroom to try and see if she could install her new showerhead. I pulled out the new sheets and threw them in the washing machine. While the sheets were in the wash, I decided to start styling my hair and avoid being rushed. I turned the curling iron on and clipped pieces of hair into sections.

I brought out the rest of my purchases and stripped my bed. I removed the old duvet cover from the down comforter and put the new one over it. I cut the tags off of the new pillows and set them on the empty mattress. I sat down and thought about tonight. A surprising smile made its way to my face the thought of seeing Edward again. Almost instantly, my mind wandered back to my dream from this morning. There was a constant conflict between the love I used to know and reality co-existing in my head.

Everything seemed so simple before. I felt lucky in love and thankful that I didn't have to date. Though my closest friends were coupled up, I had friends at work and school who struggled with finding their other half. I was never jealous of that. I never felt I missed out of dating in high school or college. I had someone. Had, being the operative word, I internally rolled my eyes. I wasn't one of those girls who needed a man to function; it was just nice having that built-in best friend and affection. I was just confused, but I knew myself well enough to know that last night shouldn't have happened. Or ever, now that I thought about it.

I gathered my old pillows and duvet and placed them in a bag. The washing machine timer went off and I put the sheets in the dryer.

"Al, what are you wearing tonight?" I called down the hallway. I could hear the pulsing bass of an epic concert happening in her room. As I inched closer, the chaotic melody of 'Hysteria' was playing. I giggled and knocked on her door loudly.

"Hey," she greeted me and lowered the volume.

"Oh, hello," I answered.

"What would you do if Matt, Chris and Dom were all in here?" She asked me as she looked up from her laptop. Alice was lounging comfortably on her elegant black and white patterned comforter. I guess she gave up on the showerhead.

"Do I know they're here or do I come home to find them locked in your room?"

"They've been locked in my room and when you come home, you find them pleading to be let out."

"I'd probably look at them, back up quietly and shut the door," Alice and I continued to laugh at our ridiculous imagination that only the two of us would ever understand. "By the way, how would you have acquired this trio?"

"That's easy, a tranq gun," she dead panned. I also got the slightest feeling that she'd actually thought about that at some point.

"Of course, my mistake," I stated and sat on the edge of the bed. "So what are you wearing tonight?"

"I'm going to go a little casual. Probably a dress and leggings, not sure yet."

"Okay," I replied and mentally scanned through my closet for an outfit. "Is Edward ready for tonight?"

"Oh my God, yes!" Alice squealed happily. "It's going to be so much fun! He invited friends, colleagues and even tweeted out some VIP tickets so a select few could get a preview. He's been advertising like crazy around L.A. at coffees shops and local businesses around the store. Emmett said the place looks great and is ready to go. Oh! Edward has a band playing tonight too! I heard they're really good. They're local and have been together since high school and Edward met them in college. It's a tribute band to rock n' roll with four members. Apparently, no song is safe. Jas and Em have seen them perform before. I guess they were an opening band at some festival they attended years ago."

"That's awesome!" I said enthusiastically. "I'm so proud of him. I mean, to take on starting your own business and then invest your entire being in it is amazing. Your family seems to have a knack for business, eh Al?"

"I think there's something in the water back home," Alice laughed.

"Well, kid, I better go and get ready! Got to look my best now that I'm a single lady!" I stated sarcastically.

"Hey, Bel?" Alice asked in serious voice. I nodded at her. "Tanya will be there tonight."

"Yeah, and?" I responded, not sure where she was going with her point. I haven't thought of her since the night of our Christmas party.

"Um, Edward and she have sort of been dating for the last six months or so," she calmly said in a very un-Alice like voice.

"Excuse me?" I was surprised and a little disappointed. "What do you mean they've been dating?"

"I don't think it's serious, but I just wanted to let you know," Alice stated. "My mom told me."

"Good for him," I clipped. Jeez, Bella, what do you care? "I'm glad he found someone. He deserves to be happy. Look at everything he has going for him. "

"Bella," Alice started.

"It's okay, really," I interrupted. "Anyway, I'm just going to have a good time tonight. Listen to some good music, drink a little, and congratulate the new business owner."

"Okay," she dropped whatever it looked like she was going to say. "Let me know if you need help with your hair."

"Alright. See ya in a bit." I answered her.

My head wouldn't shut up after I left Alice to get ready. The news of Tanya and Edward rubbed me the wrong way and I still couldn't narrow down the emotion I felt. He never once mentioned anything about his relationship with her except how it related to the business. I looked at the time, as I curled my hair in to waves, and the cable box read a little after five.

"Oh shit," I gasped out in realization and dropped the skinny curling iron in the sink. Jake was officially married. Leah was now Leah Black. I took a deep breath, walked out of the bathroom and put on a loud, angry mix of music that included some punk, some rock and lots of expletives.

"That's enough," I told myself. I channeled strength and wrapped myself up in the satisfaction I felt when I punched that asshole in the face. I finished up my hair and finger combed out the curls. I sprayed it with some hair spray and it hung in ribbon curls, dark and shiny past my shoulders. I decided to vamp up my makeup with dramatic, shimmery eye shadow, dark eyeliner and very sparkly lip gloss.

I pulled out one of my sexier pair of panties and bra sets from my dresser. It was a deep green Demi Cup bra that was covered in black lace. The lace trim bikini brief matched and even had a little dark green bow at the center. After covering myself in lotion, I sprayed on one of my favorite scents.

I walked over to the closet and grabbed black skinny jeans and an emerald silk oversized cowlneck top with sleeves that ended at my elbows. It draped passed my hips a little. The top was tight enough to show off my shape, but loose enough to move around in. The fabric overlapped and draped along my torso. I placed an onyx cuff on my wrist and decided to forgo earrings or a necklace. The last accessory to my outfit was my shoes – flats, heels or boots? I decided on some black leather, stiletto boots. These boots had buckles from ankle to knee. It was all very rock star.

I checked out my reflection in the mirror and was satisfied that no one would ever guess that my insides were twisted with anxiety.

"Hey, Al?" I called down to her room. Her private concert seemed to have quieted down at this point. The door opened and she poked her head out.

"Ooh, I like it!" She gushed. "You look beautiful. I should be done in five."

"Fuck me!" I suddenly yelled out. Alice's face became concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot about my sheets!" I laughed.

"Finish that later," she laughed. "Seriously, I'll be done in five."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I answered. She shut the door and I walked over to the dryer to check my sheets. They were done, so I gathered them and dumped them on the bed. I went back to the mirror and finished applying some lip gloss. I heard the buzzer for the gate and headed to the living room.

"Hello?" I called out after I pushed the talk button.

"Hey, Bel. Your ride is here madam," Jasper's drawl filtered through. I laughed.

"Come on in, Jas. I'll leave the front door open," I replied. I buzzed open the gate, unlocked the front door and went back to my room to finish up. "Alice! Jasper's here!" Minutes later, I heard the front door open and Jasper's footsteps walking on the hardwood floor.

As I gathered up the little cigarette case that held my I.D. and credit cards, I heard Alice's signature squeal.

"Jas!" I walked to the living room just in time to see Alice launch herself into Jasper's arms. He caught her easily and they kissed passionately. It looked like a choreographed movie moment. My entire body ached with want while I watched their exchange. I missed that terribly.

"Alright, alright, break it up!" I joked and sounded like a parent who caught her kid making out.

"Bella, you look nice," Jasper stated.

"Thanks," I simply stated. "You're not so bad yourself, Jas." He looked great in his olive green military style button down and light washed jeans that were ripped in the right places. His shirt even had epaulet straps on the shoulders. On his feet were black steel toed Docs. He had styled his blonde hair off of his face.

"Ahem," Alice cleared her throat. We both turned to her. "What about me?" She even put her finger on her head and twirled.

"My apologies, Al," I said and laughed. Jasper just applauded. "You look positively stunning!"

"Oh shove it," she playfully glared at us. "You too, bub." Jasper just shook his head and smiled.

"Darlin', you always look beautiful." He walked up and hugged her from behind. He lowered his head to her shoulder and kissed her neck. She giggled and sighed. The strings of my heart were pulled once again.

Alice really did look amazing and casual – well, casual for her. She was in simple black, ankle length leggings with matching ballet flats. She wore a simple black tee with a long sleeved, open cut gray cardigan that hung at asymmetrical angles past her hips. To me, it looked like a sophisticated poncho. She had straightened her dark hair, flipped out the ends and pinned up one side with a little black bow. With her flats her height difference to Jasper was very apparent.

"Are we ready to go?" She asked.

"Yup," I answered. "I am, if you are."

We piled in Jasper's Bronco and head towards the freeway. "Where are we going? I totally forgot to ask earlier."

Alice turned around from the front seat. The radio hummed in the background. "Edward's store is on the boulevard by the university and there's a bunch of retail stores, restaurants and coffee shops. It's like a larger version of that street by our place."

When we reached West Los Angeles, Jasper parked down the block from the restaurant and we walked to the little Mexican café. Dinner, a couple of pitchers of margaritas, and many laughs later, Alice, Jasper and I finally made our way to Edward's opening. We drove a short ways and Jasper dropped Alice and I off at the front while he found a parking spot. I was not prepared for the sight I was met with.

The two story brick building housed three shops and Shoebox Records was nestled between a coffee shop and a small book store. A wooden sign hung over the double doors welcoming customers. The rectangular wood was painted a teal color with Shoebox written in red 1950s retro print font that was outlined in gold and the Records placed underneath in a similar retro style in cursive. That lettering was gold with red outlining it. The sign popped and grabbed attention.

Even with the tinted doors at the entrance, I could feel the pulse of music coming from the store. While Jasper jogged towards us, security was letting people in. When the door opened, dueling fiddles could be heard battling against each other. I was intrigued and wanted to see what was going on. We walked over to the short line and waited our turn.

"Hi!" Alice greeted the massively muscled bouncer. "We're on the list – me - Alice Brandon, him – Jasper Whitlock and her – Bella Swan."

"I.D.s." He gruffly demanded. His unfriendly dark eyes showed how serious this jean glad, black t-shirt wearing man took his job. We handed over our ideas and he opened the door letting us in.

"Fire on the mountain, run boys, run. The devil's in the house of the risin' sun…" a man's deep scratchy voice sang out. With my mouth wide open in shock, I looked at the far end of the store to see a band on a balcony performing. Two girls, one with long striking blue hair in pigtails and her bangs white as snow, the other one was shorter with a bright angular red bob, were responsible for the heated battle of fiddles. The only feature I could make out from the drummer was his neon green liberty spikes.

"Oh my God," I exclaimed. I looked at Alice and Jasper. They were both grinning ear to ear. "This is amazing!" The sheer size of the store was misleading from the street. Since the second floor was gutted, it doubled the size of the space. True to Edward's description, the ceiling featured a night sky coated in bright colors and it seemed like millions of stars twinkled. It was very similar to a Vegas casino. Purples, blues and black faded into each other and the fiber optic light show danced across like the Milky Way Galaxy.

People were milling about, but the majority stood adjacent to the balcony clapping and singing in time with the band above. The cash wrap was located to the right and was one long black counter with memorabilia glass cases between each cash register. The rectangular shaped store featured rows of CDs, vinyl, and a book section with short stacks to the left with chairs. By the stacks were a couple of computers for public use, I guessed. Under the balcony, various musical instruments hung from the walls, with a couple of pianos and drum kits showcased on the floor.

At the end of the cash wrap, a bar was set up featuring appetizers and liquor. We made a beeline towards it first. I didn't even notice Edward until I felt a hand palm my mouth shut. I looked in disbelief to see the owner of the hand smiling and laughing at me. His bright green eyes shone with excitement and his energy was contagious.

"Edward!" I exclaimed. I stepped forward and gave him a fierce hug. "I'm impressed. You did a fantastic job!" I waved my hand out. By this time, the band moved on to another loud, crowd pleasing job.

I turned to look up to my right and had a better look at this band. They looked the part of a rock band. The guy standing near the railing with his guitar was as big and tall like Emmett, his arms completely inked and a brown messy faux hawk. He was dressed in jeans and black t-shirt. The blue haired girl now donned a ruby red guitar and was now singing. Her vocals were amazing and her voice had a slight rasp, similar to a mix between Pink and Ann Wilson from Heart. Her right arm was tattooed in bright colors of reds, yellows, and purples. She wore a black pleated skirt with black tulle underneath and a black button down that tied under her bust line. Her blue hair was pulled into high pigtails that flowed a little past her shoulders. The bass player, the red head, looked like she had piercings strategically placed around her face. She wore a purple long sleeved button down blouse with a striking green tie. Her pants were a purple and green sort of plaid combination. The drummer was still too far away for me to get a really good look.

"Thanks, Bella," he said. "Aren't they great?" He caught me glancing back to them. I nodded. He was about to continue when a blur of gray jumped at him.

"Eddie!" Alice hugged her cousin. After letting her go, he shook Jasper's hand. "Congratulations! This is exciting! Is Em here yet? Who's this band? I love them! Oh! Jas look!"

We all laughed at Alice's babbling. I glanced around the store and everyone was singing along or talking. There was even a guy attempting to crowd surf, but there weren't enough people to hold him up. When he fell and landed with a thud, everyone groaned in sympathy pain. Even the band stopped mid song to look. I saw Rosalie walking towards us shaking her head.

"I told him not to do this," she said. We all looked at her with questions. Suddenly the crowd cheered and the guy who fell jumped up with his hands in the air, high fiving people. It was Emmett grinning like a fool. The five of us broke out into laughter and after a pause, the band picked up where they left off. Emmett made his way over to the bar, waving, and came back to properly greet us.

"That was awesome!" Emmett exclaimed as he put his arm around Rosalie. She was trying hard not to laugh, but her face kept trying to smile.

"Emmett, what possessed you to crowd surf, or at least attempt to, over twenty people?" I asked. He shrugged like the answer was so obvious.

"Come on, Bel," he turned to me. "A loud, pissed off song just begs for some crowd surfing and some shoving."

"Oh, of course," I sarcastically replied. "My apologies."

"Well, now that Emmett's done destroying my floor, I just want to say I'm so glad you guys are here," Edward spoke up.

"Wait!" Alice interrupted. "We need to do a toast." Alice ran back to the bar and came back with a tray of shots in varying shades.

"Okay, now that we are properly liquored," she continued. We all raised our hands with our glasses. "Edward –"

"Wait!" A new voice rang out to us. I turned and saw Tanya walking towards us. I immediately remembered Alice's words from earlier. "I don't want to miss your toast!"

Tanya greeted everyone and walked up to Edward last. He hugged her and when she leaned in, he turned his head slightly and she gave his cheek a peck. He quickly excused himself to get her shot from the bar. The exchange was so subtle, that I think I only caught it because I was blatantly staring in their interaction. She exuded confidence and beauty. Tanya had tied her strawberry blonde hair into a low side ponytail that hung in beautiful waves. Her hair was pinned off her face in a pin up style. Her lips shone bright with glossy red lipstick and her blue eyes were dramatically lined with a slight wing on the ends with lashes for days. Her figure was accentuated by a close fitting black dress which had buttons from the hem to her collar and stopped right above her knees. Her waist was cinched by a thin red belt. The sleeves were half capped and she wore high chunky closed toed heels in bright red.

When Edward returned, Alice impatiently was bouncing her foot. Edward took his place next to Tanya once more without touching and met my eyes. I gave him a slight smile. They matched each other perfectly. With his black thin pin striped slacks, a simple white button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and black suspenders, Edward looked amazing. The top couple of buttons were left open and instead of a bare chest, he had a white t-shirt on underneath. I blinked away my sudden gawking and looked above and past his messy sex hair. Oh my God, I just thought Edward Cullen had sex hair. Stop it! Listen to Alice! She's speaking. I turned my attention to my best friend.

"We're all situated, yes?" Alice said looking around at the six of us. We all nodded smiling at each other. "Eddie, as your little cousin, I feel it's my duty to bestow congratulations from the family –"

"Hey!" Emmett interrupted. "I'm first born, how come I don't get the honor of congratulating him?"

"Emmett!" Alice replied impatiently. "Hush. Mom asked me. Besides you would probably say something embarrassing. Like that time you locked him outside the house in nothing but a bath towel. Then when he tried to get in by climbing the trellis in the back, the towel snagged and fell to the ground."

"Alice!" Edward suddenly interrupted. His green eyes were wide with embarrassment. Emmett guffawed at the memory. Jasper, Rosalie and I had to cover our mouths from not laughing out loud. "How did you even know about that? And you. You said you'd never tell anyone about that, especially since I took the blame when you got caught in the girls' bathroom at school."

"I filmed it of course," Alice said quickly. "Oops."

"There's video?" Edward exclaimed. The rest of us couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Alice!" Emmett yelled over Edward. Rosalie palmed her face and shook her head.

"Hey, don't blame me," Alice said quickly. "Em gave me and Jas ten bucks each. Besides Jasper had to hold me up so I could see over the fence. Shit. I mean nothing. I know nothing. Congratulations, Edward! Opa!"

Jasper and I clinked our glasses and everyone followed suit. By this time were in hysterics over Emmett's antics.

"Don't even," Edward turned to me. I almost choked on my shot from laughing. I just looked at him in mock surprise.

"What?" I said sweetly and shrugged my shoulders innocently. "I wasn't going to say anything."

"Uh-huh, sure," he grinned knowingly. "You guys, I'll be back. I need to do the whole 'welcome to my store' rounds."

As Edward walked away, I called out to him. "Hey, Edward!" He looked at me with a questioning expression. "Congrats, sweet cheeks!" He ran his hand through his hair and just shook his head grinning. We continued our laughing fit, except for Tanya who just politely tittered at my lame joke.

"Hi everyone," the male guitar player from the band spoke out. "We just wanted to introduce ourselves real quick and congratulate Eddie here! Charlotte, Liam, Maggie and I wish nothing but the best for this guy. We met Edward back in college when we were just a struggling band right out of high school. We consider him the fifth member. It's sort of like the fifth Beatle – you're not really sure if he exists or not! Anyways, dude, we love ya! Thanks for letting us be a part of this adventure! I hope you all are enjoying the music. We're going to slow it down a bit with a couple of acoustic songs. Charlotte's going to take the lead on the next one. Sing it if you know it. Once again, I'm Felix and we're Disrupt the Sky."

The crowd, which had grown in the last hour or so, erupted with applauses, cheers and whistles. Our group cheered the loudest and Rosalie let out a two fingered whistle that echoed over the noise. Edward waved and mouthed thank you to everyone. Each member of the band all brought stools out and lined up near the state railing. Felix held an acoustic guitar, and Liam had a drum with a drumstick with a brush attachment. Maggie brought out her violin again and took her place next to Charlotte. The boys sandwiched the girls.

"Hi everyone," the blue haired Charlotte greeted us. "I'm going to take a quote from Stevie Nicks - this one's for you Eddie." She blew a kiss to Edward and the opening chords of 'Landslide' began. "I took my love and I took it down…"

"So, Bella." Tanya had made her way closer to me after Edward left. Rosalie and Emmett escaped to the bar, while Jasper and Alice were swaying to the velvety vocals of Disrupt the Sky. "What do you think?"

I almost panicked. What did I think? What did I think about her and Edward? Get a grip, Bella! "Oh! The store!" I exclaimed. Tanya quirked her eyebrow, but thankfully didn't say anything. "You both did an exceptional job."

"Thanks," she commented. "It really only came together in the last couple of months or so. Edward has a good eye for detail and knows what he wants." She wrapped a piece of hair around her finger. I looked around and saw Edward talking to a group near the book section.

"I bet," I stated under my breath. Why was it so difficult to have a conversation with her? Something wasn't sitting right. "Are you staying in town long, now that the store is done?"

"I don't know yet. I'm thinking about setting up some accounts that are based out here, so I travel less," she stated. The moment she said this, my brain made the connection – jealousy. That's exactly what I had been feeling since Tanya entered the picture. I was jealous – not of her, but the thought of her and Edward together. At least I had dressed appropriately to be green with envy, I laughed to myself.

"Oh that's nice," I commented casually.

"I think so," she replied just as coolly. "I think there are changes coming in the future and I want to be ready for them." I nodded and she continued. "Edward mentioned that you've been out of sorts lately due to a break up? I'm sorry about that. Puppy love is such a silly thing."

I stared at her, aghast. My temper almost got the best of me except Alice suddenly interrupted. "Bella! Come with me to the ladies room!"

Alice quickly excused us and I followed her towards the back. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't know," Alice replied. "I've never seen her act like that before. She's always been nice and even funny. She sort of has Rosalie's bravado."

"I don't know if I should take offense to that," a voice echoed from the behind the stall door. The toilet flushed, the stall door opened and Rosalie walked over to the sink to wash her hands. "Are you talking about that interior designer that thinks it's her night?" We both nodded at her.

"I wouldn't worry about her. She's harmless," Rosalie continued.

"Alice said they were dating," I blurted out. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand.

"Alice!" Rosalie exclaimed. Her blue eyes wide with disbelief. "Edward's not with her."

"What?" Alice replied. "That's what my mom told me. What do you mean it's not true?"

"Listen," Rosalie continued. "Emmett talked to Edward not too long about that actually. I guess they went out a couple of times when he first met her but the chemistry was off or something. After that, Tanya's been throwing herself at him so he's taken to meeting in her very public places. They're not together, though _she_ desperately wishes it so."

"Wow," I said. I was speechless. "We would make one fantastic person, eh? Rose's all knowingness, Al's energy and my hair."

"Bella, there's more to you than your hair," Alice said as she stroked my hair. Rosalie just rolled her eyes. "You have an excellent shoe collection."

The weird tension in the air dissipated immediately. "Come on, don't let her get to you." When walked out of the restroom, Alice led me over to the bar.

Charlotte was now whistling into the microphone with a simple melody along with the guitar. My eyes swept the store and I saw Edward and Tanya with a different set of people near the entrance. The longing in my heart for the ability to stand next to someone like that tugged at me. Alice handed me a rum and coke. As I drank it, I could feel the effects of the alcohol loosening the tight hold I had on my emotions.

"Shed a tear 'cause I'm missing you," Felix's rough, throaty voice began. Charlotte played her guitar in time with Felix's.

Alice and Rosalie tried to keep my attention by talking about some action movie they wanted to see. I barely heard them and focused more on the lyrics to the covered version of the Guns N' Roses song.

I chanced a glance back at Edward and this time our eyes locked. The drone of store buzzed at a low volume with Felix's voice resonating through the speakers. "Said woman take it slow. It'll work itself out fine. All we need is just a little patience."

I nervously bit at my thumb nail as I felt chill run up my spine. Edward's gazed seemed to pierce right through me and I couldn't break the contact. In my inebriated state, it seemed like he was trying to convey something to me in that moment. "If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear."

I blinked and took a huge gulp of my drink. What just happened? My mind could not rationalize what had just occurred.

"I think I've had enough to drink," I stated out loud to no one in particular.

"Bel?" Rosalie asked with concern.

"Hmm? What?" I turned to the girls and met their worried expressions. "Oh, nothing. I've had enough to drink for tonight."

"If you say so," Alice replied. She seemed to let it go for now.

"I think I'm going to wander around for a bit. I haven't seen everything yet." I told the girls that I would meet up with them in a bit and they nodded in agreement.

I wandered through the crowd who was now swaying along with the break in the song. I ended up by the books and wandered down the short aisle, pretending they were most fascinating items I had ever seen. The crowd's applause broke me out of my thoughts.

"Thanks!" The red headed Maggie exclaimed with her British accent. "We're going to set up for the next song and turn it up a bit!" The cat calls and whistles continued. I smiled in awe of Disrupt the Sky's captivating performance. They were really good, even if all they did was cover songs. They made them sound like their own without ruining the integrity of music.

"Hey you," Edward's deep tone greeted me. He grinned at me. "Are you having a good time?"

"Hi," I replied. "Yes. Seriously, I'm completely impressed with what you did here. I love it. I think the stage and the ceiling's the best part. And you're alright too."

"Gee, thanks," he laughed.

"So you met the band in college?" I asked genuinely curious. He nodded.

"Yeah, I ran into Felix the first day of school. Literally," he smiled at the memory. "I was late for work and was running to my car. When I turned the corner, Felix and I collided. He was headed to the Music Building for band practice. I ended up calling in sick and spent the afternoon with them while they practiced."

"That is too funny," I laughed. "That totally reminds me how I met Emmett when I first moved to Forks."

"He told me about that. He said the green mask was very charming," Edward laughed at my shocked expression. My mouth dropped in shock.

"I swore them both to secrecy." I was speechless and shook my head. "A lot good that did me."

"Well, all of our secrets seem to be tumbling out tonight. Remember me? Naked guy on the side of the house," he pointed to his chest. I laughed lightly.

"That is true. I can't compete with that." I gestured to Edward and my mind immediately pictured what I thought he looked like naked – his chest, arms, legs and other important parts of his anatomy. I felt crazy and instantly blamed the margaritas. "Where's Tanya?"

Edward's face changed subtly and the playfulness banished. "She went to get a drink."

"Things seem to be going well," I tiptoed around what I really wanted to ask. "With her, I mean?"

"Yeah, we work fine together, that's about it," he formally replied. "She has great contacts that were able to get the jobs I needed done." I was dying to ask about their relationship. Whoever said alcohol made you brave was abso-fuckin-lutely right.

"Is she going to be around now that the store's done?" I couldn't stop the word vomit. Edward gave me a pointed look.

"Bella, spit it out," he finally said.

"Dammit." I sighed and closed my eyes. "Areyoureallydatingher?" I blurted out in one breath. I vaguely paid attention to the sound of guitars tuning up. Suddenly music exploded which cut off anything Edward was going to say. I walked out to see the little redhead whaling on the bass along with Felix. Charlotte was off to the side with her red guitar playing back up. I finally noticed that the drummer, Liam, kept in time with both leads. My jaw dropped in astonishment as Maggie took the lead vocals this time.

"I won't stand in your way! Let your hatred grow and she'll scream and she'll shout and she'll pray and she had a name. Yeah, she had a name!" Her voice was smooth and commanded attention. I'd never seen a live band cover 'Stockholm Syndrome' or a Muse song for that matter. They owned it.

"Bel?" I completely forgot Edward was next to me and even though I had just asked him about Tanya. I peered to my right and Edward smiled knowingly – like he had a secret he was dying to share. "No," he whispered in my ear. Edward squeezed my arm and walked away. I watched his back as Maggie and Liam's vocals surrounded me.

In a trance, I continued my tour of the store alone and confused. I looked for Alice and spotted her in the corner making out with Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett were nowhere to be found. Tanya was by the registers watching me. I just looked at her with a straight, emotionless face and quirked an eyebrow. She just rolled her eyes and glanced down at her phone. Edward had wandered to what looked like friends of his. He glanced in my direction and winked at me.

This whole evening and weekend had been very confusing to me. How could it have gone so wrong and so right at the same time? My whole being seemed to want to say Jake who. My thoughts tried to drift there but I pushed them back. I didn't want to think about Jake anymore. I wanted to revel in this euphoric mood I'd somehow recovered despite the weird Tanya fiasco.

I stopped towards the front of the store and just soaked in how different and cutting edge Shoebox Records was. I made a mental note to ask Edward why he chose that name. I had an inkling of what it could mean, but I wanted to hear it from him. Hell, I could listen to him talk all day.

"Why are you smiling?" My friend found me. I turned to Alice and in a low voice relayed Edwards's and my exchange. "Shut up. Oh my God! That is so cute!"

"Shhh!" I tried to quiet her down.

"No one can hear me," she replied confidently. "Well, except those people and maybe them too. And that guy. Oh shit, sorry."

"Oh, Al," I laughed. "I was just thinking what a weird ass weekend this has turned out to be."

"I'll say," she giggled.

The rest of night went on with Disrupt the Sky playing a couple of more songs. My friends and I stayed away from Tanya and kept to our circle drinking and laughing. Jasper and Emmett joked and teased Edward when he made his way back to us. The mood remained fun and lighthearted. I desperately tried to not stare at Edward. In my drunken state, I probably failed. That old familiar ache of longing seeped into my bones. As Rosalie and Alice hung on their significant others, I desperately wanted the same release.

When the band finished playing and were packing up their instruments, Alice indicated it was time to head out. The crowd had thinned out a bit and Edward was bidding his friends goodbye. Emmett and Rosalie left before Jasper, Alice and I.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" Edward asked Jasper.

"Yeah, man. This was great. Good luck with everything," he answered. They shook hands and Alice hugged Edward.

"I'm so proud of you, Eddie. Love you," she told him.

"Thanks, Cuz," he replied. "Love you back."

Edward turned to me as I awkwardly watched their exchanges. I didn't know what to say. His emerald green eyes crinkled when he smiled at me.

"Impressed, Swan?" He continued to smile. I just shook my head.

"Don't be so sure, Cullen," I playfully rolled my eyes and just hugged him. "For real, though, you did a wonderful job."

"Thanks for coming, Bella," he seriously said looking down at me. "It really means a lot to me."

I nodded and gave him another quick hug. Edward still had friends and potential customers to tend to. We left Shoebox Records and Jasper had us wait for him as he ran to get the car. Alice and I stood on the sidewalk.

"I'm so tired," I told her and swayed just a bit. She nodded.

"Yeah, me too," she replied. "Did you have fun, despite Tanya?"

"You know, I really did?" I answered honestly, omitting the memory of Edward whispering in my ear. It still sent a shiver down my spine.

"I'm going to stay at Jas' tonight," Alice said. I nodded in agreement.

The minute I sat in the back seat, I fell asleep. The next thing I knew, Alice was waking me up. I bade them good night. When I got in the apartment, I stripped down and put my pajamas on. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and washed my makeup off. As I sat on my bed, I realized, I still had to put my new sheets on it.

"Dammit," I muttered to myself. I pulled the blankets off the bed and attempted to put the fitted sheet on the mattress. By the time I got one corner on, the other flipped off. After a struggling for a few moments, all four corners were in place. I collapsed on my stomach and reach the down to the floor to grab a blanket.

"Ugh, the light's still one." I cursed not owning a Clapper. I got up and switched the light off. The room plunged into darkness. I resumed my former position on my stomach and my face in the smushed up pillow. Sleep came to me easily tonight.

_I woke to kisses being placed up and down my bare back. My face was angled away from him. His hands lightly followed his mouth and I quietly moaned. I could feel the familiarity of the body next time and sighed in contentment._

"_Bella, baby?" He asked. "Turn around."_

_I obliged and my eyes met the eager green ones. Edward smiled crookedly and pulled me to his bare chest. I could feel his erection pressing in the right places. His mouth met mine and we passionately kissed. He ran his fingers through my hair, down my back, sending chills down to my toes. _

_My fingernails scratched his back and Edward groaned. I moved my hand and traced his jaw and he closed his eyes. I smiled as this handsome man was touching and kissing me. He moved his hand over one of my breasts and massaged with the right amount of pressure. Instinctively, I arched my back into him and he hissed at the contact. _

"_Please, Edward," I moaned into his mouth._

"_Please, what, baby?" he rasped._

"_Touch me," I gasped out when his fingers touched me. I could feel the slickness on his fingers as he slid his fingers up and down. _

"_God, Bella," he moaned into my neck. My hand traced the muscles of his torso and wrapped it around his erection. He stilled for a second until I began to slowly move my hand from base to tip. _

_Edward shifted so he was on top and I waited in anticipation of him entering me. I held him close as he kissed up my chest to my throat, and finally reaching my mouth. Our eyes met and with one thrust, our bodies joined. _

"_Oh my God," I breathed. _

"Oh my God," I jerked awake. It was dark. I was alone. I dreamt I had sex with Edward Cullen.

Disrupt the Sky's set list – if you're curious – just a sample:

Devil Goes Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels Band

U + UR Hand by Pink

Hooray for Me by Bad Religion

Patience by Guns N' Roses

Stockholm Syndrome by Muse

Girls just Wanna Have fun by Cyndi Lauper

Give it up by Pepper

Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leopard

Landslide – Fleetwood Mac


	12. Don't Close Your Eyes, You Need to See

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Thanks to **teambellaedward** and **auroraboralis** for the reviews! Thanks to all of you reading and putting this on alert!

**[Chapter 12: Don't Close Your Eyes, You Need to See]**

Spring had officially begun and the L.A. weather I loved was in full swing – a cool seventy-five degrees with blue skies and sunshine. For the umpteenth time, in the last month or so, I purposely drove past Shoebox Records. I had convinced myself that it was on my way to class which was partly true, except for the fact that it added twenty minutes to my drive with the traffic on the boulevard. What was I hoping to accomplish? A brief flash of that copper toned hair? A glimpse of his handsome face?

"What is wrong with you, Isabella?" I rolled my eyes at myself. I sped past the store failing to keep my eyes on the road as I glanced to my right.

It had been a little over a month since Edward's opening and the _first_ night I of my now infamous dream of him. I say first because that week, he starred in all of them, albeit, less triple X, though not by much. I vowed to not share with anyone how out of control my head was except Alice cornered me the weekend after when I walked into the living room.

"_Tell me," she stated. I gaped at her and yawned._

"_Tell you what?" I asked._

"_What's going on in that head of yours?" Alice stared expectantly, her tiny pigtails bounced when she moved her head. She patted the couch next to her. This time her pajama pants had pictures of breakfast foods. I kept staring at the random bacon strips and my stomach growled. "You've been super distracted this whole week and you have that 'I got laid' look."_

"_Alice!" I exclaimed in shock. I sat next to her and tucked my legs underneath. "Oh my God." I threw my hands over my eyes and peeked through. "Really?"_

"_Uh huh," Alice mused. "Keep going."_

_I groaned. "Okay, but it's really embarrassing and you cannot tell anyone. I mean it this time." She nodded in agreement. I took a breath. "I've been having some very interesting dreams."_

"_And?" She prompted._

"_And, what?" I feigned stupidity._

"_Isabella Swan, you tell me right now what has your panties in a twist!" She exclaimed. "Or I'll tell everyone about that time we went to that frat party freshmen year and you came home without any underwear."_

"_Aw, jeez," I relented. "I've been dreaming about Edward. Alright? Ever since we came back from the store opening, he's been a part of every possible scenario you can think of."_

"_Really," she wagged her eyebrows suggestively. _

"_Alice, that's gross, stop," I told her. "That's your cousin, who by the way, I'm not dating nor seeing in any capacity."_

"_It's not gross, it's not like you're banging my brother," she replied. "Which would be rather awkward and Rose would probably kill you."_

"_See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. It's weird." _

"_No it isn't. I like this side of you. It's way more fun than wallowing!"_

"_That's true, but we're not talking about this ever again," I stuck my pinkie out._

"_Fine. Okay," Alice smirked and hooked hers around mine. "I still think it's cute, Daydreamer."_

After I circled the student lot a couple of times, I finally found a spot and walked across campus towards my first class. My mind was muddled with random thoughts that I barely registered that my cell rang. I huffed digging through my backpack, where I threw it that by the time I found it, the ringtone stopped. When I glanced at the screen, I saw it was a 360 number. That wasn't what struck me as odd as it was the area code for back home. I scrolled my missed calls list – five in total from that same number over the past month. My heart beat sped up and I headed towards the closest bench.

Realization dawned on me – it couldn't be, could it? Five months without any sort of contact. Since the day he married _Crazy,_ I prohibited my heart from dwelling on _him. _I remained un-phased by my date with Stefan. The following Monday after our Disney date, Stefan and I reverted back to our banter, however, we never ate lunch together alone. I was such a chicken for not just calling back because seriously, what did I have to lose? Absolutely Nothing. My cell suddenly chirped with a text ending the debate – to call or not to call.

_Monday morning trivia - all polar bears are left handed. _

Received 5/04 8:45 a.m.

I laughed out loud. No, I actually laughed out loud and snorted a little. Though we hadn't hung out since the night he opened the store, Edward had taken to sending me random texts. I felt like I was constantly reading the underside of a Snapple bottle cap. He swore everything he sent me was true and validated by governments and the most intelligent scientists from around the world.

_just like me! lol. so my question is how do we know that?_

Sent 5/04 8:47 a.m.

_Writing tests, duh. And I thought you were in college._

Received 5/04 8:47 a.m.

_dork. polar bears don't have fingers. besides i only have a couple of weeks til graduation. _

_so senioritis might have taken over._

Sent 5/04 8:48 a.m.

_Shit. Got me there. Graduating sounds like a great excuse for a party._

Received 5/04 8:48 p.m.

_well that was anticlimactic. YES! i love a good party._

_patron shots!_

Sent 5/04 8:49 a.m.

I realized I was going to be late for class if I didn't get a move on. I didn't wait for him to write back and I practically ran to the history building. My classes passed by in a blur. Finals were in a couple of weeks and I was currently working on three papers for each class. Today my first drafts for two of my classes were due and I needed to speak with one of my professors about my major paper for my History of the American West class. By the time I made it back to the car, I was running late for my lunch with Rosalie and Alice.

I drove towards the beach and parked in one of the many lots that dotted the coastline. Rosalie and Alice were already seated on the outdoor patio. I waved to them before entering the dining area through a side gate.

"Girls," I greeted them. They replied back with hellos. "I'm starving and completely stressed out. How are you, Rose?"

"Work's been busy," she replied as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. "I have to head over there later this afternoon. Alice and I were talking about your guys' graduation. We were thinking of throwing a party at the house."

I burst out laughing, remembering Edward's text. "Edward said the same thing." Apparently, I was never ever going to have a verbal filter. Alice smirked knowingly. I shot her a look which I hoped subtly said 'shut up'.

"Really?" Rosalie stated. "That's interesting."

"What," I replied.

"What, nothing," Rosalie said. She and Alice exchanged a look.

"Oh my God, you know don't you?" I suddenly blurted out.

"Why didn't you tell me you have the hots for Edward?" Rosalie's voice seemed to echo around the patio.

"I do not," I honestly replied. "I like him like I like Em or Jas. He's just another guy –"

"That you can't stop dreaming about," Alice threw in.

"Alice Brandon!" I exclaimed. "Let's take a step back. It's not a big deal okay? So I've had a couple of dreams about my _friend_ Edward. So I may have been a teensy jealous when I thought he was dating Tanya. So I may be completely lonely and desperate for some attention and he's just the first decent guy I can project my inner fantasies on. Whatever, I'm fine. And we're just friends. That's reality and that's the way it's going to stay. Period." I picked up a menu and covered my face.

We all burst into laughter and a thought struck me. The waiter came by and brought the drinks Alice and Rosalie ordered before I arrived. We quickly gave the waiter our lunch choices and I suddenly had an idea.

"Going back to the party idea," I said after taking a sip of iced tea that Alice ordered for me. "What do you think of a trip? Just us?"

"That's a great idea, Bel!" Alice threw in. "Oh! We can take a real vacation and go for a week!"

"Where are you thinking and when?" Rosalie asked. "We're finishing up with a shoot soon and I'll have some time before the next one."

"Um, well, I haven't thought that far," I replied. "How about right after graduation? It's cutting kind of close."

"I like it!" Alice agreed and Rosalie nodded. Let's think about some ideas and we'll talk tomorrow about it. Bella –"

My ringtone interrupted her. When I saw the number it was that same 360 area code. I froze in answering it.

"What is it?" Alice asked in concerned.

"I think it's Jake," I whispered.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie interrupted harshly. "Give me your phone." She reached across the table, took it out of my hand and in a very sweet voice answered it right before it went to voicemail. "Hello. Hel-lo!" She handed it back to me. "They hung up."

"Bella, what's going on?" Alice asked. I shrugged.

"I don't know," I answered. "For the past month or so, which I didn't put together until today, I've been receiving missed calls from that number. I never thought about it since it was from home. I got the same call this morning."

"How many calls?" Rosalie asked.

"Uh, five or so," I casually replied and tried my emotions at bay. "I just don't get it. Why now? After everything? He got what he wanted – a wife, a kid, and a life he obviously didn't want with me. That's fucked up! Now he's playing these fucking games with me. You think his conscience is getting the best of him? Why now?" Alice and Rosalie remained silent.

"Holy shit," Rosalie stated. "Wait, I have an idea. Bel, let me see your phone again."

I handed it back to her and she took out her phone, dialing a number. "Hello?" Rosalie disguised her voice perfectly to a soft British Accent. "Yes, I'm looking Jacob Black?" She paused and her blue eyes widened. "My name is Heidi and I'm calling from Hyatt Regency Suites to congratulate Mr. Black as the winner of a weekend getaway to any of our resorts in the continental United States." Rosalie nodded and paused. "Mhm, yes thank you." She paused again, rolling her eyes. Her facial expression took on a darker look. "Hello, there, Mr. Black, as I stated to your mother. Oh, I apologize, as I stated to your _wife_, you are the recipient of a weekend getaway…anywhere…States." She abruptly hung up and looked at us. "Oops. Call dropped."

Alice and I stared at each other, then Rosalie who was almost turning purple from trying not to laugh. We ended up laughing and giggling. Our waiter returned with food orders with an amused expression.

Between gasps, I addressed her. "What…how…wow."

"It was him. Bella, Jake's been calling you and hanging up. What a fuckin' little chicken shit. That bitch picked up the phone and was all excited and squealing in the background like the pig she is. It's not my fault cell reception sucks. Damn AT&T service." She shrugged and took a bite of her chicken taco.

"Rose," Alice said as she drizzled the dressing over her taco salad. "I can't believe that happened. That was perfect – your voice, your demeanor. Hail to the queen!"

"To the queen!" I echoed and raised my glass. "Wait, Rose, Jake had your number, he'll call back."

"Nope, I made it private," she smugly replied. "Oh well. Guess he won't be getting that weekend getaway."

"What are you going to do, Bel?" Alice asked. I shook my head in indecision. I focused on cutting my enchiladas and stared at my plate when I answered.

"I don't know. On one hand, I've desperately tried to not think about him – not always succeeding and on the other; I'm dying to know what he wants."

The girls and I couldn't come up with a good enough reason for me to even bother calling back. We were able to convince me to ignore for now and continued our lunch discussing lighter topics. Since Alice rode with Rosalie, she hitched a ride back with me to our place. We discussed possible vacation destinations but nothing screamed 'GRADUATION!'

After I parked the car, I glanced at my phone and noticed an unread message. I completely forgot about Edward's texts from earlier.

_Shots! Now you're speaking my language, Ms. Swan._

_When and where?_

Received 5/04 8:51 a.m.

I locked the car and wanted to write back, 'now and off my neck'. Who said that? I actually looked around for someone. Damn, my horny self. An image of pre-asshole Jake floated through my mind and I physically shook it to rid my brain of it. My memories of him just wouldn't stay buried. I followed Alice through the front door.

"I have some projects to work on so I'll be holed up in my room most of the night," Alice told me as she grabbed a glass of water out of the kitchen.

"Me too, I turned in my first set of drafts and I have a major thirty pager to complete. My research is almost done, though," I replied. "I'm going to set up shop in the living room." Alice nodded and we parted ways.

After she locked herself in her room, I washed my makeup off, changed into my comfy black lounge pants, a fitted red t-shirt and piled my hair into a messy bun. I brought out my books, computer and searched in the cushions for the remote. After locating it under right side of the couch, I flipped on the TV and wrote Edward back with an appropriate response.

_hmmm, now. that'd be good after the day i had._

Sent 5/04 5:31 p.m.

I channel surfed for a minute and landed on 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'. It was absolutely one of my favorite movies and one that I could leave on as background noise. Luckily it had just started. I pulled up my paper and opened one of the books I needed. My phone rang with a new text.

_Wish I could. I'm closing tonight. Bad day?_

Received 5/04 5:40 p.m.

_not bad, weird. i'll tell you later._

_i have to finish researching some stuff for school._

Sent 5/04 5:40 p.m.

_I'll hold you to it. :)_

Received 5/04 5:41 p.m.

I texted him a smiley face and went back to researching true accounts from the Massacre at Wounded Knee. I happened to glance up and catch the scene where Peter tells his step brother that he's going to go to Hawaii to forget about his heartache.

"Alice!" I yelled out. "Hey, Alice!"

"What's up?" She yelled back as she ran into the living room.

"Hawaii!" I pointed to the movie. "What about Hawaii? We can go to Maui or something."

"Yes," she said simply. "I'm in. Imagine a week in paradise - just the girls, piña coladas, luaus and lots of boys. Aloha!"

I nodded in agreement and in my head I was planning my own, Forgetting Jacob Black trip. Alice headed back to her room and I was determined to complete my research as fast as I humanly could. Damn, I wish I had superpowers or at least the ability to read really fast.

Later that evening, Alice and I made a quick dinner of pasta and garlic bread and we both retreated back to our school worlds again. By eleven-thirty I was beat. I cleaned up and made my way to bed. There was a little sliver of light coming out from under her door, but who knew if she was awake or passed out. I didn't even bother changing into my pajamas. When I finally settled in bed, my phone vibrated and I saw Edward was calling me.

"Hello," I stated pleasantly.

"Hi Bella," his velvety voice answered. "I know it's late, but I wanted to call and see if everything was alright."

"Oh, you didn't just call to tell me that spiders have excellent hearing and can tap dance?" I giggled into the phone.

"You laugh at that, but it could be true," he replied. "Really, though, is everything okay? Your text was odd."

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine," I said. "It's just seriously weird."

I relayed the wedding news, the missed phone calls and Rosalie's stunt which had him laughing but he turned serious in a blink of an eye.

"Bella, you have to tell me if he tries anything again," Edward's harsh tone took me aback. The romantic in me squealed at the idea of Edward swooping in and being all macho, while the independent, strong woman in me scowled in annoyance at his arrogance that I need to be saved.

"Wait, what?" I answered a little irritated.

"I'll take care of it. Whatever it is," he replied simply. "That jackass has no business butting into your life. You said everything that needed to be said back in December and he had the last four years to explain his behavior to you, his partner. It's despicable."

"Hey, wait a minute," my heart clenched and the loss of Jake hit me hard. "Edward, what do you mean you'll take care of it? Of what?" My voice wavered. "There's nothing to take care. I'm not going to call him back. I can't bring myself to do that. If he calls again, I'm going to answer and tell him to go to hell! He's not going to harm me. Besides, I don't even know what the hell is going on. And you know as nice as it is that you want to step in, I'm not your responsibility. I can handle this myself."

"I didn't mean it like that," he answered in a softer tone. "I'm sorry if I come off as overprotective, but I was there with you through this whole thing and I really want to kick his ass. I just need one reason and he's a dead man. And I know you can take care of yourself, that's not point. You just don't have to do it alone. Let someone else take a turn at throwing a punch. You can't get all the good ones."

God, I wish I could see his face as he said this. I smacked myself in the forehead. _Concentrate, Isabella._ I was a mess.

"Oh, well in that case, far be it for me to stop you from kicking someone's ass," I replied. "Is this part of your bucket list? I'm impressed; I thought visiting the pyramids or kayaking down the Amazon would be at the top over a good ol' fashion ass kicking." He laughed a little and the weird tension instantly lifted. The tears that threatened to spill over were held at bay for the time. I took a cleansing breath before speaking. "I know you mean well and as much as I want to willingly share this burden with you, we need a compromise. Since your crazy ass so desperately wants to be involved, how about this? If he tries something, anything, you'll be the first to know and you can deal with it how you see fit, as long as you talk to me first. Deal?"

"Alright. Deal," he complied. I could practically see that smirk the phone. I just rolled my eyes.

"Good, because I really don't want to talk about this anymore," I told him. "Can we please talk about something more pleasant? How's the store going, Mr. Business Owner?"

"Okay," he agreed. "Everything's good here. I hired another employee which brings the staff to twelve. We'll see if she lasts. Everyone else seems to be working out so far. Most of them are college kids who are part time and I have a core group that are full timers.

"That's awesome," I replied. "Hey, Edward, I have a question that I've been meaning to ask you."

"Dun, dun, dun," he sang ominously.

"It's not bad," I laughed. "How'd you come up with the store name? I can't figure it out."

Edward laughed. "Oh, that. It took a long time for a name that just fit. It's like how you know you are completely in love with someone – you just know. There's no logical explanation when it comes to something like that. Know what I mean?"

"Mhm," I agreed, knowing exactly what he was talking about.

"So for months, I was going through names with 'music', 'vinyl', 'jukebox', just typical music store names and nothing I came up with had that spark of a-ha! I was lying on my bed just staring towards my closet when I noticed on the top shelf, a shoebox, like for tennis shoes. I completely forgot I had put it up there."

"Okay." I wasn't sure where he was going with this.

"That shoebox has pictures, mementos, cards, etc. from a past relationship. And I realized how many memories were held in that one little box. So from there, I added records because one, it's music based and two, music and memories tend to go hand in hand and are recorded in our minds. A lot of people associate songs with specific occasions, their emotions or what have you. Shoebox Records was born."

"That's really insightful," I said completely impressed with his train of thought. "That's so creative and true. I mean you saw the freakin' box I had. I think that's really sweet you have your own little box."

"Yeah, well what can I say, I'm a romantic guy at heart," he smoothly replied. "Just don't spread that around, I don't want it to compromise my manly Herculean reputation." He cleared his throat loudly. I exploded in laughter and covered my mouth, in hopes I didn't wake Alice. "Hey."

"Are you flexing the guns, Edward Cullen?" I said in between giggles.

"No, that would be stupid," he replied. "I'm posing in intimidating poses in the mirror."

"You're killing me."

"Well, when you're done swooning, I have some good news," he paused dramatically.

"Continue," I pushed.

"I talked to Felix yesterday and the band's playing at the Whisky towards the end of the month. There's only three bands in the lineup so they'll have a longer set. Did you want to go? I figured that Em, Rose, Al and Jasper will want to go as well."

"Really? That's so cool!" I exclaimed and instantly quieted my voice. "I'd love to see them play again. I also think it would be a great present for me if you bought my ticket and maybe Alice and Jas' too. Since we're all graduating the same week."

"Hey, you can't weasel in my little cousin and her shadow in," he joked. "I get the feeling you're just using me for your own personal gain, woman."

"Me? No. Never," I replied giggling. "I would never do that to you, Edward. It was just a helpful suggestion."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he laughed as I tried to stifle a yawn. "Well I should let you get some sleep."

"Okay," I yawned again. "Goodnight, Edward. I think this was the best conversation I've had in awhile. Bye."

"It's what I'm here for, Swany. Sweet dreams," he replied. "Bye."

Time passed as it always did and I couldn't do anything to stop it – even for a moment. It was finally the last week of school, research papers were turned in, both of my parents made their travel arrangements to fly in, and I was completely unsure of the future. With graduation fast approaching reality hit me that I was now being released into the world as a college graduate and a single adult. Working at the museum remained the same, however, with the ever changing exhibits we were constantly busy updating inventory, displays and information.

Though I was comforted in the fact that I had a job after graduation, I suddenly felt ill prepared for everything. Where I used to feel secure, comfortable and safe, I was confused and angry, with a tinge of longing. The stalker-Jake phone calls seized and I just didn't have the energy or motivation to contact him. Besides more heartache, what would I gain out of it? I deleted the number from my missed calls list and kept my focus on our trip to the Aloha state.

Today I was typing up the last of the inventory to send over to Stefan for his sign off. The phone on my desk rang just as I was about to hit Send.

"This is Bella," I stated my customary work greeting.

"Hey, Bel," Alice's voice began. "The trip is booked! Seven glorious days in Maui! Give Rose the money when we go to the show. She put it on her card."

"That is fantastic news," I answered happily. "I can't believe we waited until the week before to book this. I'm scared at what she paid. What's the damage?"

"About fourteen hundred a person," she replied. "It includes hotel, air and the rental. Rose got a great deal on one of those travel sites. The boys are so jealous! Jas was complaining how he wasn't getting anything special for graduation and I told him that I just had better friends than him." I laughed. "He didn't appreciate that."

My cell vibrated with a message. "Hey, hold on a sec." I took it out. It was from Edward.

_Hawaii bound, huh? I am quite jealous._

Received 5/22 3:45 p.m.

I giggled. "Alice, word gets around fast, eh?"

"Why what happened?" She asked curiously.

"Edward found out we're escaping Los Angeles," I told her. "Jeez, our friends have big mouths, especially when they're complaining."

Alice laughed. "Indeed they do. It's Emmett's fault. He can't keep anything to himself. Rose explicitly told him that he was in no way invited since he was not the one graduating. He, not so subtly, pointed out that she wasn't even enrolled in college! Then he got the infamous Rosalie patented arched eyebrow."

"So rightfully deserved," I laughed with her. "I should be leaving in the next forty-five minutes or so and I'll come home and change. Then we can head over to Sunset for the show."

"That's sounds good. I'll be here," Alice replied. Since Alice's life now revolved around her classes and projects, she'd taken to working with Emmett and his shop out of the apartment. The extra time she would be sitting typical traffic from L.A. to Orange County each day, allowed Alice to balance her school projects and store obligations. Her designs for the new lines were coming along and she managed to even impress her big brother with her business sense and creativity. "Jas'll meet us at the house and Em and Rose will meet us at the venue. We could probably pick up Edward on the way."

"Great!" I agreed. "Okay, let me finish up and I'll see you in a bit."

"Alright, drive safe." Alice and I hung up not long after that.

As I drove home, I had the radio blasting, the windows down and my hair whipping around me. We lived close enough to the Autry that I was able to cut through Griffith Park and hit Los Feliz Boulevard easily and take the side streets to our place. As I went to tie my hair back, the song changed and my breath hitched when I heard the opening chords of that familiar melody. The song brought me back to prom during my senior year. Jake had requested 'You and Me', which made our friends roll their eyes because, of course our song was probably the most clichéd romantic song that could have been picked. I didn't care though, it was our song. It was one of the last ones the DJ played before prom was over. We danced so close and as cheesy as prom was I loved it and I loved him.

It was also a song I hadn't heard since the night of our Halloween party. My vision blurred as Jason Wade's low, raspy vocals filled my little car and the armor that enclosed my broken heart shattered. Pieces of me and Jake's happiest, most romantic memories assaulted my brain. By the first chorus, I broke out of my trance; randomly hit a different station and the moment passed as quickly as it came. My heart rate and breathing slowed back to normal. I wiped the rogue tears from my face and intensely focused back on the road. By the time I reached home, my mood had traces of melancholy.

As I reached the front door, I could hear the TV blasting and Alice was sitting on the couch painting her toe nails. "Hi," I greeted her devoid of any type of emotion.

"Hi." She replied not looking up. I dropped my purse on the table and immediately took off the heels I was wearing. As I was putting my keys back in my bag, Alice's voice startled me.

"What's wrong?" She asked. I turned and her eyebrows knitted in concern.

"Oh, um," I scratched the side of my head and thought before I spoke. I pointed to my car like we could see it. "I was driving and heard, um, that Lifehouse song. It just threw me off for a second."

"Aw, I'm sorry," she said sympathetically. "Can I give you a distraction?" I nodded smiling. "I left something on your bed!"

"Thanks!" I loved Alice. She was the best. I walked into my room and saw what used to be my Social Distortion t-shirt. "Oh my God. What did you do to my beloved shirt?" I lifted it in front of me. Alice redesigned it completely. It was now strapless and she had laced thick, black shoelaces along the top and tied in the front. The bow was directly aligned with the logo – a skeleton with the martini glass. The sides had been cut then laced by the same black cotton fabric in a braided style on each side. It gave the shirt a new and more feminine shape.

"What do you think?" She asked. "I actually practiced on some cheap t-shirt."

"I think this looks amazing!" I yelled in excitement. I hugged her. "Thank you!"

"Oh, good," she breathed a sigh of relief. "I can see the wheels turning in your head."

"I'm thinking of Googling some hair styles for tonight," I replied. "I probably have some red lipstick around here too."

"Yay!" Alice clapped. "Okay, you get changed. It's a little after five right now. Jasper will be here around seven-thirty, eight, and we can go get Edward. I'll call him and let him know."

"Great!" I replied. I grabbed the laptop to see if there were any simple pin-up hairstyles that I could easily mimic. I found one rather quickly and even loved the makeup that the model had on. I jumped in the shower and when that was done, I plugged in one my smaller curling irons so I could get started on the ringlet part of the look.

After drying my hair, I curled skinnier strands and sprayed them individually to keep them perfectly coiled. I parted it to the side then twisted and rolled my bangs in an upward motion and pinned them with a bobby pin. I made sure that the bobby pin was hidden. Satisfied, I moved on to do my makeup. Instead of my signature smoky eye, I opted for shimmery beiges and lined the top and bottom lid with a dark brown pencil. I made sure to do a subtle wing tip on each end. I did extra coats of mascara and added some blush.

After adding the final touches to my face, I tore through one of my dresser drawers looking for my darkest blue straight leg jeans as I was going pair them with my black Converse. There was no way I was going to wear any type of heeled shoe to this show. I grabbed my black strapless bra and matching black boyshorts and proceeded to get dressed. I pulled on my jeans first, then untied the shoelaces on the shirt and carefully pulled it over my head, mindful of my 'do. Looking in the mirror, I thought I looked decent. The shirt fit like a glove. I tied the laces back together and the shirt sat comfortably with no chance of slipping down. I glossed my lips with shiny red lipstick and added a simple gold necklace with a little diamond pendant as my jewelry of choice.

Sometime later, Alice knocked on my door and when we saw each other we squealed and started laughing. Alice was wearing her vintage Clash tee with black skinny jeans and her black slip on vans. She had pinned her hair up in twists and also pinned her bangs up in the front. Her makeup was a little more dramatic and accentuated her large blue-gray eyes.

While we waited for Jasper, Alice and I began taking pictures of each other and cracked each other up the only way the two of us could. Our laughter was interrupted when the there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" We both yelled, laughing.

"Jasper Whitlock," a manly drawl answered.

"So formal, babe," Alice said as she let him in. He gave her a quick kiss.

"That's how I was raised, darlin'," he replied. She rolled her eyes playfully and before he could react, tickled his side. Jasper let out a high pitched squeal, which made Alice and I erupted in laughter.

"Hey!" He yelled in surprise. "That was completely uncalled for!" Jasper pretended to smooth out his faded gray Lynyrd Skynyrd which had the band logo on the front with a Confederate flag filling in the letters. He wore a pair of perfectly worn jeans over his black steel toed Docs. His serious tone did nothing for Alice and I's giggle fit. "Have you guys been drinking without me?" This only made us laugh harder.

"Oh shit," I exclaimed. "I didn't even think of that." I turned to Alice. "One for the road?"

"I also have my flask," Alice nodded. We kept our liquor on the opposite side of the stove, underneath the breakfast nook on a bookshelf turned liquor cabinet. She pulled out the Whiskey. "Since it's the theme of the night," she said knowingly. I just shook my head and kept silent. Whiskey was probably my least favorite liquor, but it was Alice and Jasper's choices of poison. I nodded. "Really?"

"Just this one time," I said. I grabbed three shot glasses from the kitchen cabinet.

"Cheers!" We clinked our glasses and downed the amber colored liquid.

"Ack!" I exclaimed I put the shot glass on the table. Whiskey was one type of liquor I would never get used to. They both laughed at my discomfort. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go." Alice fished out her flask and filled it. I ran to my room to find my black hoodie and we left not long after that.

After getting situated in Jasper's Bronco, we headed over to Edward's, which I found out was around Studio City. Though it was in the opposite direction of Hollywood, Alice graciously offered to pick him up so he wouldn't have to drive alone. We laughed and sang all the way down the freeway. I consciously kept myself distracted so my lingering melancholy wouldn't taint the evening. Distraction was my new best friend. I even snagged a couple of swigs of whiskey just to take the edge off.

Edward lived down a very pretty tree lined street, from what I could tell, since it was dark. Varying types of apartment buildings were situated on either side and each were different from each other – mainly two story complexes – ranging from brick, to Spanish style, to California bungalows and Colonial. Jasper pulled up to a two-story, white stucco, Spanish style building with a red tile roof and honked.

"Which one is Edward's?" I asked staring out the right side of the truck.

"He's the second story in the front," Alice pointed.

"I love it," I commented. "I wish the sun was still out so I can see the detail." Since moving to L.A., Spanish style haciendas had become my favorite style of home. I think because they look historical and remind me of the old Californios and their ranchos.

I saw the back of Edward as he shut the door and jogged down the side facing steps. Jasper got out and Edward folded himself into the backseat with me. My body was instantly on alert of his close proximity. I suddenly felt self-conscious and was thankful I put my black fitted zip up hoodie on before getting into the truck.

"Hey, guys," Edward greeted us, smiling. His copper locks were in their usual disarray and his jaw was covered in a light scruff. Only Edward could pull off completely casual and look amazing. He wore a plain black hooded sweatshirt, dark washed jeans and Docs. We returned our greetings and my nerves were suddenly on fire.

When we reached the Whisky A Go Go, Jasper dropped Alice and I off in front while he and Edward parked the car. I pulled my I.D. out of my back pocket and saw Alice discreetly, well attempted to be discreet, take a sip out of her flask.

"Alice," I hissed. "Be careful, this isn't Vegas."

"I know," she replied putting it away. "Here it is!" She loudly exclaimed and pulled out her camera from her bag. Subtly was not her middle name and I just shook my head smirking. A flash went off in my face.

"Really?" I asked. "You couldn't wait until both my eyes were open and I posed correctly?"

"Where's the fun in that?" She laughed. I took her camera from her and started snapping pictures while she posed in randomly with arms flailing. And yes, people were staring at us. I saw Jasper and Edward walking towards us and Jasper put his fingers to his lips so I didn't alert Alice. Suddenly the boys took off running towards her and I snapped away like nothing was a miss when Alice was whisked off the ground by Jasper. She shrieked the loudest scream ever as Jasper threw her over his shoulder. When she realized it was her boyfriend, her shriek became a high pitched laugh.

"Hey, Bella," Edward interrupted my picture taking. I looked up to my left at him. In my flat tennis shoes, I felt even shorter than usual.

"Hey, stranger," I replied.

"I like what you did to your hair," he complemented. "You look beautiful."

"Oh!" I said, taken aback. "Um, thank you." I smiled.

Alice and Jasper made their way back to us, still laughing and had their arms around each other. "Are we ready to go in and get our tickets?" she asked. We nodded and handed our I.D.s to the bouncer at the door. Edward's arm reached over to him and handed him some paper. We looked at him, confused.

"Happy Graduation!" He laughed.

"You didn't," I spoke up. He just nodded. I shook my head and gave him a hug. "Thanks, Edward."

"You are welcome, Bella," he replied. "I just listen and do what I'm told." He smiled innocently his signature smile minus the smirk.

"Thanks, Eddie!" Alice yelled to him.

"Yeah, thanks, man," Jasper said as he shook his hand.

"You guys are welcome," Edward humbly replied. "Let's go in and get some drinks. I think Felix is already here and you guys can officially meet everyone."

We all got our concert bracelets that showed we were over twenty-one and headed in. There were already some people standing around the open area before the stage. The bar was on our left and was situated below an area where tables and chairs were set up. The first band had already started their set, which could only be described as loud, in a good way.

We each ordered a drink. I went back to a Rum and Coke which warmed me instantly, thanks to the little buzz I had going. Alice, Jasper and Edward all ordered Jack and Cokes and beer. We walked towards the center of the floor when I saw a flash of blue headed our way. The owner of said hair crashed right into Edward. She was closely followed by a large man in a black t-shirt; his arms were covered in tattoos with brown hair in a messy style and bright blue eyes. I finally recognized them as the members of Disrupt the Sky.

"You made it!" She yelled in his ear. He nodded and he did some weird man ritual of hand gestures and fist bumps with the guy.

Edward turned towards us. "Guys, this blue haired wonder of the world is Charlotte and this behemoth is her other half, Felix."

We each shook their hands. "This is my cousin, Alice, her boyfriend –"

"I want a title too, Eddie!" Alice pouted. We all laughed.

"Okay, okay," he relented. "Char, Felix, this ravishing young prodigy in the fashion world, is my amazing little cousin – and I mean little, Alice –"

"I resent the little part," she carefully crossed her arms so she wouldn't drop her drink. Edward dramatically rolled his eyes and took a drink from his aluminum can.

"As I was saying," he continued. "This is her boyfriend Jasper and Alice's best friend – wait do you want a title too?" He pointed at me. My eyes bugged out of my head.

"Um, no, Bella's just fine," I shook my head. "Hello."

"Yes, this is Bella the magnificent," he finished. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Ah, yes," Charlotte said in recognition. I let it go and made sure to ask Edward later. I waved.

"Where's Maggie and Liam?" Edward asked.

"Oh, she's out back on the phone and Liam's on his way. He had to work earlier," Charlotte replied. She turned to us. "Liam's our drummer and he moonlights as a substitute music teacher." I looked at her in surprise. "I know, it's weird. He takes jobs while we're in L.A. for extra spending money. We all do something or other when we're not touring and stuff." Up close, she was stunning. Instead of pigtails tonight, she parted her hair on the side with her white side swept bangs and had a large red flower clipped holding up one side. Her bright blue hair flowed down in very relaxed waves. She had on smoky eye makeup and glossy lips. I noticed she had an eyebrow piercing; however, what I didn't expect was that her eyebrows matched her hair color. I shot a look at Alice and we both grinned at each other. Charlotte's right arm was covered from shoulder to wrist in varying flowers and vines in bright colors. She wore skintight black leather pants and rose colored suede knee high boots that scrunched. Her top was a strapless baby doll top in a wine color that draped unevenly passed her hips.

"Hey, kids!" A voice yelled that would have echoed if there was no music. We turned to see Emmett and Rosalie. Rosalie was also dressed in tight white leather pants, with a shredded Union Jack patterned The Who t-shirt that snugly fit her hourglass figure. She had swept her long blonde hair in to a low side ponytail and was wearing bright red leather boots. Edward introduced our stragglers and when Emmett went to shake Felix's hand, Alice and I started giggling quietly. They looked like giant twins. Felix was a little taller than Emmett's six three stance and broader in the shoulders. Emmett was dressed just as casually as the rest of us, in a plain navy v-neck t-shirt, blue jeans and black Converse. His hair was just as messy as Edward's but on purpose.

"Who's ready for another?" Jasper asked. Alice and I raised our empty glasses. Rosalie and Emmett went with him.

We all chatted in our circle with Charlotte and Felix as the first band finished up. The house music and lights went up as they cleared the stage of their instruments.

"What will you guys be playing tonight?" I asked. I unzipped my hoodie as it warmed up significantly since we got here.

"I love your shirt!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Honey, look!" Felix smiled and nodded. He was handsome and I could see how much he adored her. She had to be the same height as me and looked so tiny next to him. She tugged on his sleeve like a little girl.

"Oh, thanks!" I laughed. "Alice made it."

"Really?" She exclaimed. "It's awesome. It fits you fantastically!" Alice thanked her. I looked around and caught Edward's eye while he was chatting with Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper. He winked at me. I took a long sip from the drink Jasper brought back.

"Char!" a new voice rang out above the noise. Charlotte turned towards the voice and a red head with an angular cut bob came running towards her.

"Excuse us." Alice and I nodded to her and Felix as they walked away.

"So what are we talking about?" I asked our friends.

"How awesome you are!" Emmett bellowed.

"Well, that goes without saying," I replied sarcastically, gesturing up and down my body.

"Hey," Rosalie half whispered. "Anything new?" I knew she was referring to the ass from Washington.

"Uh, um, no," I replied. "It's been pretty quiet. I had a mini breakdown driving home, though. It's just so confusing, you know? I just can't pick an emotion and stick with it."

"I know. It's so infuriating," Rosalie seethed. "That sucks, Bel."

I shrugged. "What are you going to?"

"Drink!" Alice chimed in.

"Yes, ma'am," I saluted and downed the rest of my drink. "I can't wait 'til after next week. Just the beach, the sun and you guys."

"Exactly," Rosalie agreed. "I've already been shopping for a new bathing suit – which by the way, is the most adorable yellow polka dotted bikini ever."

"Aw, Babe!" Emmett yelled over to her. We looked and he was pouting.

"How did he even hear that?" I asked.

"I have no idea, but when it comes to things involving my body, it's like a sixth sense," Rosalie answered.

"Ew! Rose!" Alice screamed. "That is so not what I wanted to hear about my brother."

"Sorry!" She replied. "He's still crying about not going."

"Poor –" my sentence was interrupted by Charlotte.

"Eddie!" She yelled while crossing the floor. Her face was full of concern. The next band had started up. They were a good old fashion ska band – horns and keyboards. They had seven members up there and that one guy that sort of just danced around the stage. Edward walked over to her and they walked off together, but not before he told us he'd be right back.

We continued drinking and talking throughout the second band. I paced myself and was nowhere to being drunk, but I felt good. Emmett continued to make us laugh with his antics and Rosalie just stared in wonder at him giggling. When the stage was clear, I looked up to see Edward, now minus his sweatshirt, helping Felix carry out some amps. He was wearing a bright blue Steve Miller Band baseball style t-shirt with yellow and white strips wrapped around the sleeves and a yellow rimmed collar.

My attention was drawn to his forearms. He lifted and carried equipment like nothing. He placed the bass drum on the floor and his sleeve rode up revealing more of his colorful half sleeve. I could barely make out myriad of inked colors near his elbow.

"What's he doing?" I asked the girls. They both shrugged. When Felix and Edward brought the last of the equipment on stage, Felix started to do the mic check and Edward faced us and jumped off the stage.

"What's going on, cuz?" Emmett asked.

"Maggie was on the phone with Liam and he's stuck on the 405 freeway. Charlotte asked if I could fill in since Maggie's the only other one who can play Liam's drums. Felix will take over bass and they asked if I wanted to play with them until he arrived," he replied, running his hands through his hair.

My head immediately swerved to the left at Super Hot Rock Star Street and very naughty images of a guitar playing Edward filled my mind. I was speechless. I was in awe. Complete and utter awe of this man. Alice kicked the back of my knee which lurched me forward and kicked me back into reality. I playfully narrowed my eyes at her. She very dramatically mouthed 'sorry'. Rosalie and her had caught me gawking.

Felix finished up his mic check and motioned for him to head back on stage. "Wish me luck!" He called.

The lights dimmed as Charlotte and Maggie joined Felix and Edward on stage. The five of us pushed our way towards the front and with Emmett with us, we didn't have to push hard. He put on his angry face, hiding his tell tale dimples and we made it unscathed.

"Hi everyone!" Charlotte said as she took center stage. "We're Disrupt the Sky!" The crowd cheered. Edward stood to our right, while Felix flanked Charlotte on the left. Edward looked at home on stage. He exuded confidence and the whole bad boy rocker persona. I could hear some girls talking about him obnoxiously to my right. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I caught Edward's eye and grinned widely at him. He returned it, relaxing even more so.

"Thanks!" She giggled. "Well we have a bit of a change in our lineup as you can see. Thanks to our wonderful L.A. traffic, Liam is now sitting smack dab in the middle of it. His lovely lass, Maggie, will take over on drums – which will just knock your socks off. Felix will be on bass and here on lead guitar, Edward Cullen! Eddie's a great friend of ours who graciously accepted our request to fill in until Liam gets here. He will not disappoint!" Again, the crowd cheered. Rosalie let out a two finger whistle as Alice and I screamed.

"Anyway, we're going to do something a little different tonight and change up our original set list a bit," Charlotte continued. She was the perfect embodiment of a lead singer - chatty, confident, and completely at ease with men staring at her and women either cheering or jeering at her. "We want to dedicate a couple of songs to our new friends down in front, especially, Bella!" My head snapped up at the sound of my name. I immediately looked at Charlotte who smiled wickedly at me and laughed. Edward winked like he was keeping a secret. "This woman has been through hell this past year due to a shitty excuse for a boyfriend!

She's persevered through and even kicked his ass while lookin' smokin' hot, by the way. So tonight we're going to give him a big Fuck You!"

The crowd erupted in applauses and cheers and I was completely dumbstruck at what had just transpired. "Hit it!" Edward started the beginning notes of 'So What'.

"I guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went," Charlotte belted out in her beautiful raspy voice. She began strutting back and forth on stage. I was mesmerized and smiling at this girl power song. "So I'm gonna drink my money, I'm not gonna pay his rent. I got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna wear it tonight," she pointed at me. "I wanna get in trouble, I wanna start a fight. Everyone!" We all did the na na nas part. "I want start a fight!

"So, so what! I'm still a rock star! I got my rock moves and I don't need you! And guess what, I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight. I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a tool, so, so what, I am a rock star. I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight!" I was amazed. I sang along and just watched Edward play. I remembered in the clearing when he said he wasn't very good – yeah so not true – he was awesome. I just watched his fingers pluck and strum. Alice, Rosalie and I stood together and danced around and when the song finished we all blew raspberries.

We cheered and Felix took the mic next as Charlotte picked up her black and white guitar. "Thanks guys! We're going to continue our theme and give the finger to those who wronged us! Show 'em how it's done, Babe!" Charlotte blew a kiss to Felix as she struck a chord.

"With friends like you who needs enemies? You ain't right, you ain't never gonna be. You're out of the call, I'm afraid you've been declined," Felix's throaty voice was loud and I got such an adrenaline rush listening to that Social Distortion song. 'Far Behind' had been on repeat on my iPod for the last four months – my anthem when I started to feel bummed out. It helped me remember what a jackass Jake was. "You shake my hand while you're pissin' on my leg. I'm cuttin' you loose. I don't need this misery. Your soul is toxic. You ain't no friend of mine!"

Charlotte played loud and passionately. I could feel the hurt part of me shrink and it was such a cathartic feeling of letting go. Edward's guitar playing and backup vocals mesmerized me.

"I'm leaving you far behind. I'm leaving you far behind. Stop wastin' all of my time. I'm leaving you far behind," Felix sang the chorus. I closed my eyes and absorbed the meaning behind those five little words. Felix looked so angry as he sang. He narrowed his eyes and his fully tattooed arms played the bass low on his legs. Alice and I bounced against each other starting our own mosh pit. Then we shoved Emmett and Jasper, but they each just picked us up easily and we ended up squealing in delight.

"Your soul is toxic, you ain't no friend of mine," Felix ended the song to a roaring applause. "Thank you." Out of the right side of the stage a lone figure with green liberty spikes ran out, picked up a squealing Maggie out from behind the drums and ran to the front of the stage with her. Liam was dressed in torn jeans at the knees, and a patterned long sleeved button down. However, the most prominent feature, not his bright green hair and which I completely failed to notice before were the scars extending from either side of his mouth.

"So you started the party without me," he spoke into Charlotte's mic with a thick Irish accent. "Ah, I see you've recruited our dear friend!" Edward bowed and saluted his friend.

"Hey, Li, we're going to do one more song with Eddie, you wanna play?" Charlotte asked. He nodded as Edward handed Felix his guitar back and Maggie took her bass. Felix play softly as Maggie told Liam their next song. The next thing I knew, Edward had taken center stage next to Charlotte, who had put her guitar away.

"Alright, kids, this is the last song with our friend, here!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Did he do alright?" The crowd applauded. "Should we invite him back?" Again screams of encouragement rang out. "Well, he's going to sing a little ditty."

"Wow, you're all so welcoming!" Edward thanked the crowd. "All for you, Swany." He smirked at me and I got the warmest feeling inside. I had no idea that he was going to sing. He looked at Felix who started the opening chords to 'What's My Age Again?' I couldn't believe Edward remembered the ride from Forks to Seattle when Alice and I commandeered his iPod to play Blink-182.

"Blink!" I suddenly screamed out happily over the crowd.

Edward laughed and began singing. "I took her out, it was a Friday night. I wore cologne to get the feeling right. We started making out and she took off my pants. But then I turned on the TV." His voice had a slight rasp and closer to sounding like Brandon Boyd of Incubus. Everyone sang along and Liam wailed on the drums, just like Travis would have.

I stared at Edward and openly gawked at this man – the way he stood, the way his body moved, the way his lips formed words and the sarcastic expression he made as he sang Blink-182. He just looked – so flippin' sexy. "Dammit," I whispered to myself.

"What do you think now, Bel?" Rosalie shouted in my ear. I just pounded my forehead against her shoulder. "That's what I thought." She mock patted my back.

When they finished, we all applauded. Edward jumped off the stage and headed towards us. Disrupt the Sky continued the show with loud the sounds of a loud Celtic punk version of Maggie May. Liam stayed on drums as he sang lead. Emmett and Jasper high fived and fist bumped Edward while us girls hugged and praised – when I say us girls, I mean Rosalie and Alice. I sort of lost my ability to speak or function as a normal human being all of sudden. I sort of nodded and smiled as nervousness set in.

We all walked towards the bar to refresh our drinks. Edward handed me a new Rum and Coke. "Hello."

"Um, hi," I said not meeting his eyes, but sort of looking at his nose.

"What did you think? I hope I didn't embarrass you," he said worriedly and ran a hand through his sweaty hair. He thought I was embarrassed?

"What? No Way!" I exclaimed happily. "That was by far THE coolest thing anyone's ever done my entire life!" Edward visibly relaxed. "It was probably the last thing I ever expected to happen to me. I just thought it was a bonus to see you all rock god like and extremely hot." The moment I said those words I wanted to crawl into a hole. "Please erase what I just said."

"You think I'm god like, eh?" He smirked and his bright green eyes crinkled.

"Here we go," I groaned playfully. Then my back pocket buzzed which startled me. "Oh my God, I'm buzzing. Can you hold this?" I handed him my drink. I pulled out my phone and froze. Of course he'd call right now, especially when I felt so good about everything in that one moment.

"What is it?" Edward asked concerned. My heart pounded in my chest.

"Um, could you excuse me for a minute?" I asked him. I didn't give him a chance to answer as I walked out of the Whisky to the sidewalk.

"Hello," I stated flatly. Silence greeted me. "Hello?" I said more forcefully.

"Uh," a throat cleared. "Uh, Bella?" I knew that voice. A voice I had prayed for all those months ago to fix everything. A voice that once offered me comfort, but now just brought out my irritation. In that second, I decided to reign in my anger and used my calm, low tone voice.

"What do you want Jacob?" I asked coolly. Again nothing. I continued. "Jacob Black, you've been playing hang ups with my phone for the past month. Were you just obsessed with my voicemail greeting? Now, I'm going to ask again and then I'm hanging up and I do not want you calling me ever again – what do you want?" I punctuated each of those four words. As I turned to pace I almost ran right in to Edward. He stared at me with the most intense expression that if given the right trigger, his temper would be ready to explode. Instead of saying anything he paced alongside me. I smiled and gave him a knowing look that I had the situation handled.

He took my free hand as we walked and I relished in the warmth. "Nothing?" I asked the phone. "Alright, good –"

"Wait, Bella, please," Jake pleaded. I stopped walking and waited. "How are you? I, uh thought maybe we could be friends again and –"

"Excuse me," I calmly said as I stopped and locked eyes locked with Edward. "After everything, the lying, the cheating, and the pregnancy, _you_ want to be friends?" Edward raised his eyebrows in surprise and pieces of his hair hung over his forehead.

"Well, yes," he replied casually. "We've been through so much, Bella and when you come home, maybe we could slowly rebuild our relationship."

My breath caught the moment Jake stated that and completely tuned him out as he rambled. I continued to explore Edward's face – the depth of his vibrant green eyes and his concerned expression. I also remembered everything he'd done for me since December - our conversations, my mini concert tonight and the mere fact that he was there for me when the supposed love of my life wasn't. My brain finally connected to my broken heart – I liked Edward Cullen. No, not just liked. I _liked_ liked him.

"Holy shit," I said out loud. I almost dropped the phone. Edward squinted and mouthed 'what?' I shook my head at him. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I had no idea the real reason behind his phone call and I didn't care. I honestly didn't care. I also felt no need to justify any part of me to him. "Jacob, you need to listen and listen good. I have to go. I don't want you to ever contact me, my parents or my friends. You ruined a really good relationship and it's irreparable." I kept my voice very even.

"I do not want you in my life and if my left hook didn't explain it clearly, maybe a swift kick in the ass would do the trick." Edward smiled and dramatically pointed to his chest. I nodded. "I have a fantastic life now Jake and I guess I really should really thank you because I just found out about something very important. Bye."

I hung out without giving him a chance to say anything and I felt freer than I have in months. I let go Edward's hand and brought my hand up to my mouth. "I don't know where that came from."

"Are you okay?" Edward asked. I thought long and hard for an answer that I could truthfully speak.

"You know what?" I glanced around the busy boulevard and could hear the pulse of the bass from the music. I looked towards the door and saw Alice standing there. She mouthed, 'are you okay?' I nodded and she went back inside. I turned, looked Edward in the eyes and smiled genuinely. "I think I am going to okay."

"Good," he gave me a quick hug as we made our way back inside. "I still get to kick his ass, though, right?" I laughed and nodded my head.


	13. Me Ke Aloha or With Love

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Thanks to **teambellaedward** and **LeAnn388** for the reviews! Thanks to all of you reading and putting this on alert!

And now, the chapter, I know I've been waiting for since I started this journey…

**[Chapter 13: Me Ke Aloha or With Love]**

"Isn't this great?" I commented. The three of us relaxed on the sunny shores of Maui. The view was amazing and from our spot, the island of Lanai could be seen in the distance. Kids, couples and friends were either sunbathing, snorkeling or jumping off of the looming rock face of the Black Rock, which rose a good twenty feet above the water. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the warmth from the sun penetrated my skin. Alice, Rosalie and I arrived the day before yesterday to the island and completely embraced the laidback aloha attitude of the locals.

"Absolutely," Alice replied in her strapless red cherry patterned black bikini. Her bathing suit bottom had a short skirt with ruffles underneath. She turned her head and peered up from under her large floppy hat and giant 'Jackie O.' sunglasses. "I could totally get used to this – abundant sunshine, relaxation and oh, _that_ fantastic view." She gestured towards a group of half dressed guys who were currently walking past us. They were headed to the trail that led to the top of the rocks.

Rosalie let out a loud two fingered whistle of appreciation as I sat up on my elbows. I laughed when two of them turned and waved. "I can't believe you just did that!" I told her.

"What?" She lifted up her sunglasses and innocently widened her baby blues. "I'm not blind. I can appreciate a hot body. Just be glad that I didn't molest them or something!"

"Oh, Lord," I said as I laid back down.

"I'm going to go get some water, you guys want one?" Rosalie asked. Her already perfectly tanned skin was accentuated by her black and white swirl patterned halter bikini with a matching hanky bottom. Her hair had dried wavy from the swim we took earlier.

"Yes, please," Alice and I responded in unison. Rosalie left us and headed toward the bar by the pool area.

"Hey, Al?" I asked. She hummed in response. "Can you please put some more lotion on my back?"

"Sure, sit up." I sat cross legged in front of her and I heard her squirt some in her palm.

"That's cold!" I yelped. She laughed and apologized. She moved the back strap of my suit top and continued to massage the lotion in. The day before we left, I ran to the mall to find a new suit and settled on a large checkered red and white bikini that was halter style with thin strings and a matching bottom that tied on the sides in the same fashion as the top. Before we left for the beach this morning, Rosalie had French braided my hair into two long pigtails.

"I just can't believe we're here," I told her.

"I know right?" Alice replied giggling. "There you go." She patted my back. "I can't believe we're done with school."

"Thanks. I was thinking the same thing. It's going to be weird to not have classes anymore," I said as I went back to my original position – on my stomach facing the water. "It flew by didn't? It feels like we just left home and now it's done."

After the Disrupt the Sky concert, our families ascended upon us to watch our graduation ceremonies. We lucked out that each of our ceremonies were scheduled on different days and times, so we were all able to attend each other's. My parents, Phil, Jasper's and Alice's families all cheered us on as we received our diplomas. Before I took my seat, Edward surprised me with a beautiful purple and white lei.

While I sat through the thirty minutes of speeches amongst my fellow graduates, which by the way, numbered in the hundreds, I exchanged texts with both Alice and Edward. It was completely nerve-racking to walk across that stage, but the moment I shook the dean's hand I heard the screams of my friends and I never felt prouder of my accomplishment. I was now a college graduate.

Alice's voice brought me back to the present. "I know, right? God, even high school feels like ages ago." She had mirrored my same position on the sand and spoke with her eyes shut.

"Here's your water," Rosalie interrupted as she handed me a bottle.

"Thanks," I told her. I took a swig and could feel the coolness of the water as I swallowed.

"Is she sleeping?" Rosalie whispered to me. I shook my head no. She smirked evilly as she unscrewed the bottle and was about to pour it on Alice's back.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Rosalie Lillian Hale," Alice threatened with her eyes still closed.

"Dammit," Rosalie replied and snapped her fingers dramatically. However, she didn't move the bottle from its position. Suddenly, a very small stream of water flowed onto Alice's back.

"Holy shit!" Alice screamed and darted up. Rosalie and I burst into laughter.

"Sorry, babe," Rosalie sarcastically apologized while she sat back on the towel and adjusted her sunglasses.

"Yeah, sure you are," Alice rolled her eyes and looked down at us. "You guys want to go back in the water?"

"I'm in," I said as I stood up and grabbed my snorkel mask and fins and followed the girls into the surf. We spent the rest of the day lounging and sunbathing.

The next morning, I woke to a still dark room. Our room featured two beds and a sofa pullout with a breathtaking view of the pool and ocean. We had been sleeping with the curtains wide open. Rosalie and Alice were still sound asleep and their soft snores were steady. I quietly got up, grabbed my hooded sweatshirt and walked out on the balcony. Gazing out to the horizon, the faintest sliver of light could be seen in the distance as dawn approached. The sounds of the waves crashing on the beach instantly relaxed me. The tiki torches that lined the pool area were still lit and the crisp morning air was ripe with the scent of salt and sea.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. In the last couple of weeks, following the night at the Whisky, my mind tried to wrap around my feelings for Edward and Jake. I tried to banish everything about Jake and our relationship to the darkest corners of my mind. I didn't want to think about it or him anymore. Though, internally I did a happy dance when I thought about crushing on Edward, it brought on a whole new anxiety level. Almost immediately, the questions began to form – would it work, could it work, am I capable of letting someone into my heart and the most important one – did he even like me like that? I didn't even share with my best friends this new feeling or seek their advice. I only knew that I liked this feeling – I just didn't know what do with it.

As the sky lightened from deep blues to yellows and oranges, the birds began to sing their morning calls. The dark, murky mass of ocean slowly became silver and blue. My thoughts changed focus to my surroundings – the view, the coolness of the morning and at the bird that squawked in nearby palm tree.

"Good morning, Bella," a sleepy Alice greeted me while she rubbed her eyes. She had wrapped a blanket around her shoulders with her palm tree themed pajamas peeking out and sat in a chair opposite mine.

"Morning, Al," I responded. "Rose up?"

"Yeah, she's in the bathroom," she answered as she stared out at the lone surfer already paddling out. I nodded. "I bet that water is freezing."

"I know, right?" I commented. "Everything's just so breathtaking. I can't wait to go snorkeling today."

"Are you scared?" Alice asked. "I mean we'll be in open water. Do you think we'll see a shark?"

I laughed. "I don't know. Can you imagine? We're all swimming around in our groups, all those snorkel things poking out of the water and suddenly, the _Jaws_ theme starts. Dun-na, dun-na, dun, dun, dun, dun dun. A gray fin suddenly disappears from the surface. Then nothing." While we explored around the local neighborhoods yesterday, we stumbled upon a shop that rented out beach gear and snorkel masks. After renting them for the week, we were also able to buy tickets for an all day snorkel adventures where a boat would take a group out and we would be able to swim and snorkel in deep water.

"Isabella!" Alice visibly shivered. "I hate open water."

"Gotcha!" Rosalie grabbed Alice's shoulders from behind. She screamed and Rosalie and I laughed.

"Not funny," Alice mumbled.

"Aw, Ali-poo, I's sorry," Rosalie baby-talked to her. Rosalie was dressed and ready to go in a white summer dress with her bathing suit underneath. She had French braided her hair into one braid. I was amazed someone could do that to their own head without the extra hands. "Bella, am I still braiding your hair?"

"Yes, please," I replied. "I need to jump in the shower real quick." She nodded. I loved how she could braid my hair into pigtails and it wasn't just in a messy bun or ponytail.

"Me first!" Alice's fright was forgotten as she bolted to the bathroom. We shook our heads.

"How's wedding planning?" I suddenly asked. The jealousy of Rosalie's nuptials had faded some recently and I was genuinely interested in it. I was not prepared for the grimace in her expression. "What?"

"It's so stressful, Bel," she replied. Rosalie sat in Alice's vacant chair and crossed her legs. I changed positions and mirrored hers. "I'm trying so hard to not get bogged down and become a bridezilla, but I just want everything to be perfect and fairytale-like, you know? There are just so many details I never thought of – flowers, location, napkin colors, dress colors, hairstyles, traditional vows or write our own, do we want buffet or plated, it just goes on and on. I'm surprised I don't have to pick out Em's sock style or something completely ridiculous."

"Wow," I said. I couldn't even sympathize with her. "Do you have anything nailed down besides the month?" I remembered our vague conversation from earlier in the year.

"Maybe. But now I think I want a beach wedding," her blue eyes sparkled in the morning light and she laughed. "I just don't fucking know. I'm torn between the traditional poufy dress or something completely different like a sarong and some flowers in my hair standing on sand. Who knows, maybe I'll get inspired while we're here."

"What does Em think?" I nodded and asked. Rosalie's face took on a thoughtful look before she answered.

"Actually," she began. "He wants to find some little chapel with, like, twelve pews or so, by the sea, where we can have the doors open and the salty sea breeze filtering in. Then have the reception down by the shore on the sand. That kind of thing."

"Well, I think he just wants an excuse to wear a flowery shirt," I laughed.

"That may be true," she joined in.

"Rose, you may have your answer," I told her. "If you still want the formality of a church wedding, with that beach-y feel, Emmett may be on the right track. I'm sure there are pretty chapels somewhere, either back home or up north, I would assume. I don't really know. Do you have a wedding planner or anything?"

"It really is something to think about," she agreed. "I like it! Thanks, Bella. I've been thinking about hiring one. I just don't want to if I don't have to."

"Bella!" Alice's voce rang out. "Shower's free!"

"Okay," I hollered as softly as I could, seeing it was still pretty early and I'm sure our neighbors didn't appreciate our wonderful loud voices as a wake-up call.

I took a quick shower and brushed my hair out so Rosalie could braid it. It took her less than fifteen minutes to plait it. I threw on a pair of flower printed board shorts and a dark blue cotton tank over my horizontally white and gold striped tankini. The straps around my neck were navy as were the matching bottoms. It was all very nautical themed.

Alice was putting her beach bag together while looking for her black swim shorts. She wore a bright apple red halter bikini. The top dipped into a low v and appeared to tie in the front with a small ruffle that followed the top seam from around her neck down to the bow. She left her dark hair natural and pulled the front of it into two small pigtails, so her hair was half up and half down.

We made sure to apply plenty of sunscreen before we left. Rosalie grabbed the keys to the blue Mustang we rented and we made our way to the parking structure right outside the hotel. The three of us played Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who would get to drive this time.

"Rock crushes you all!" I yelled victoriously as I held out my hand for the keys. After we got in, I started the car and it roared to life. I immediately lowered the top as Alice sat to my right and began to fiddle with the radio. I handed the GPS back to Rosalie.

Driving down Honoapiilani Highway was exhilarating with the morning sun beaming down and the beautiful view of the ocean and mountains. We drove the windy road east, away from Kaanapali to Maalaea Bay, where the boat was docked. The trip was scheduled to last the entire day with us being able to snorkel below the steep cliffs of Molokini.

Sometime later, we pulled up to the small harbor and I parked in the adjacent dirt lot. After I locked the car, I followed the girls across the street to the line with the sign with our boat name and time.

"Hi everyone!" a perky crew member greeted us. We all echoed hellos. "Please have your tickets in your hand. We'll be ready to board in about ten minutes. If you have any questions, feel free to ask anyone you see in a blue shirt." With that, the sandy haired crew member left us.

The three of us chatted excitedly about what animals we might see and if there will be any whale sightings. The line moved quickly as we walked down the ramp onto the two deck boat. We scrambled up the narrow stairs to the top level and sat on the benches located on the deck of the bow of the boat. The PA system played Hawaiian music in the background. I glanced out in the harbor and saw an endless stretch of blue and silver beyond the breakwater.

"Welcome aboard!"a deep, radio-like voice flowed from the speakers. "I'm your captain, Pete. It's another beautiful day in Hawaii. The weather's in the high eighties with clear skies and the perfect setting for today's activities. The crew's going to go over some safety rules as we leave port. Please pay attention to the crew leaders and note that the life jackets are under the benches."

A woman in a blue shirt began to explain the hazards and protocol in the event of a disaster. When she was done, Captain Pete's voice came back on. I peered towards the back and saw an older, handsome, surfer-looking man manning the wheel of the ship.

"Alright everyone, we're going to be making our way out of the harbor and head over to an area we call Turtle Town. This will be our first spot to snorkel. The Green Sea Turtles hang out here, so you may get lucky and spot one or two. As a reminder, the turtles are a protected species and it's against the law to harass, touch or in any way engage with them. After some time there, we'll head to Molokini. The reef is ever present with fish, coral and other creatures. The clarity will be amazing! On our return leg, lunch will be served. We have burgers, hot dogs and sodas for you all. Also, the temperature of the water may be on the cooler side, so if you'd like to rent a wetsuit, we have them for twenty bucks down on the lower deck. We also have a real treat today! Some Humpbacks were spotted earlier this week!"

"This is exciting!" Alice squealed as the boated headed for the open ocean. Captain Pete continued to share some facts about Humpback Whales. "Picture time!"

Rosalie and I posed for a couple then we traded off photographer duties so we could all be in the pictures. Then we asked someone nearby to snap one of the three of us. When we were finished, we situated ourselves in our seats. The sun felt glorious on my skin and the sky seemed endless out in the horizon. I walked over to the side railing and found myself leaning over and staring at the water below. Suddenly, I felt two arms wrap around my middle and a slight shove.

"Saved your life!" Rosalie yelled.

"Oh shit!" I exclaimed a little too loud. A couple of parents frowned in my direction. "Sorry. Jesus, Rose. What if I fell overboard because of you?"

"Then we'd have to enlist the services of our handsome boat captain," Alice chimed in. Rose winked obnoxiously at me.

"Jeez," I giggled. "Hey, should we get wetsuits?"

"I think so. I want one," Alice answered. Rosalie agreed and we walked down the steps to where a crew member was renting out them out. We paid our twenty bucks, peeled our clothes off and slipped on the suits.

After we zipped up our black, short sleeved, cropped wetsuits, amid Alice's constant flashes from her camera, we learned the basics for snorkeling and specific safety hand signals. When the boat anchored, we followed the other passengers to the back and carefully eased ourselves into the chilly ocean water. I immediately began to hear the 'Jaws' theme in my head. I fixed the snorkel gear over my face and swam away from the boat. Alice and Rosalie followed close behind.

The view below the surface was amazing. It was easily over thirty feet below, completely clear with black lava rocks nestled in the sand. Coral, sea grass, sea anemones and other ocean life were scattered among the rocks. I lifted my head above the water and doggy paddled closer to Rosalie.

"Smile!" Alice nasally yelled and snapped a picture.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked pointing to her waterproof camera.

"Oh, Jas, lent it to me," she replied. "He bought it for some trip he went on last year with his friends. This thing's great!"

Before she could continue, we heard some squeals of excitement to our right. When I ducked back under the water, I could faintly make out a shape of a turtle. I swam towards it without getting too close. This creature was huge! He lazily swam deeper and passed under all of us.

"This is crazy," I told Alice when we resurfaced. "We're in the middle of the ocean."

"I know, right?" She replied. "I feel really small right now." Rosalie happened to tread by and laughed with a loud 'ha!'

"Hey!" Alice splashed her. "You know what I mean."

We swam around in circles for a bit, pointed out the different sea life and eventually made our way back to the boat when they signaled it was time to move on. We reclaimed our seats, unzipped the wet suits so they hung from our waists and let the sun dry us.

"So," Rosalie paused dramatically. I lifted my head up from directly facing the sky and squinted in her direction.

"Yeah, so," Alice's voice echoed from the left. I slowly turned to her and back to Rosalie. I arched an eyebrow when I noticed how eager they looked.

"What?" I asked hesitantly.

"Bella! You have to tell us!" Alice pleaded. "I'm dying here!"

"Tell you what?" I asked again. "What are we talking about?"

"That night we were at the Whisky," Rosalie answered for her. I scrunched my face knowing how badly I wanted to spill the details.

"What about it?" I laughed feigning ignorance.

"Bel-la! Edward and those friends of his dedicated half of their show to you!" Alice pushed.

"Al-ice!" I said just as whiney. "I honestly don't know why they did that or how that happened."

"Oh, please, that boy's got it bad for you," Rosalie blurted out.

"What?" I squeaked.

"Isabella Swan. I know you've sort of been living under a rock for the past few months, but do you think anybody else, some guy friend especially, would have taken it upon themselves to follow you across state lines, find that asshole's house, watch you kick that idiot's ass, and plan a picnic for just the two of you? And if that wasn't an indication, in front of a room full of strangers, he not only sang to you, but had a band incite a crowd to give a big fuck you to your ex."

"No way," I whispered. "You've got to be kidding me? I'm just me – broken Bella who has no business involving an innocent bystander to my cluster fuck of a broken heart." My heart sunk a little. No matter how I felt, Edward didn't need somebody like me.

"Bel, you don't see yourself clearly," Alice commented. "You're probably one of the strongest people I know. You've been put through hell with this and I wished it never happened to you in the first place; however, you have been able to get through it. You deserve love again and it will be amazing." I laid my head on her shoulder and Rosalie took my hand.

"Thanks Al," I muttered, half believing what she said.

"Let us continue, so what happened when you went outside?" Rosalie asked.

"Oh, um, Edward and I were at the bar, being 'Edward and Bella'," I started. The girls looked confused. "You know, completely obnoxious and sarcastic with each other."

"You mean flirting," Alice threw in. I rolled my eyes and continued.

"My phone buzzed and it was that same number that'd been calling me and I finally answered it. That's when I went outside." I relayed my conversation with ass-head and how Edward followed me out. They both smirked knowingly as if to say, 'see'? Then I got to the point of the story about my epiphany. "So _he's _babbling about something about a friendship and Edward's and my eyes sort of locked. Everything just seemed to fade away and I had the weirdest realization I've ever had." I stopped and glanced at my legs. "Wow, I need to tan some more."

"Bella!" They both cried in frustration.

I laughed and took a breath, "IlikeEdwardalot."

Rosalie poked me. "What did you say?"

"Oh my God," I huffed and in a louder voice spoke again. "I like Edward, alright? I like Edward Cullen. A lot."

Other passengers glanced our way after my little outburst. Alice squealed and clapped her hands. "Oh my God! This is fantastic! I knew it!"

"Alice, we all knew it," Rosalie stated it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"How? Why didn't someone tell me earlier?" I pouted. "I didn't even know. I don't understand. Isn't this way too soon?"

"Bel, please. You are the most obvious person we know. Your facial expressions give you away every time," Alice replied. "We can't tell you if you're crushing on someone. How would that look? 'Oh, by the way, we're really sorry you're sad, but it seems like you and my cousin have a little somethin', somethin' going on'. Like that? Please."

"And it's not too soon," Rosalie continued. "I think you have successfully completed the grieving process – shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger, depression, the upward turn, acceptance and hope. You've done everything you possibly can to move forward with your life. Hell, you punched that fucker in the face. I don't think you get better closure and out of this mess you created a good friendship with a really nice guy. Take it from there. It's not like you have to marry him," she paused. "Yet."

"I never thought of it that," I agreed. "Rose, don't even go there."

The captain announced our arrival to little island of Molokini. We zipped up our wetsuits, reapplied sunscreen, gathered our gear and made our way back downstairs. As I eased myself back into the chilly water, I slowly swam away from the boat towards the rocky cliffs of the crescent shaped island. I floated perfectly parallel to the rocky sea floor teemed with an abundant amount of plants and animals. The only sounds audible was my Darth Vader breathing and the lapping waves. Though I knew the girls were close by, we all seemed lost in our new world. Relaxation set in and my amazement to the surrounding environment trumped the seemingly endless cycle of Jake, Edward and what to do with all of it. I didn't even kick my fins and let the ocean move me.

After awhile, I followed the girls around. Alice continued to take pictures. Rosalie and I posed with our masks in places and attempted not to smile underwater for fear of inhaling water. All too soon, we were signaled back in for lunch and the ride back. We returned our wetsuits to the crew and grabbed our towels. Once we dried off some, we stood in the lunch line and waited our turn.

"Have you talked to the boys?" I asked while I added some ketchup to my cheeseburger. We went back to the top deck and enjoyed our lunch. Rosalie and Alice exchanged a quick look that I might have missed had I not looked up in that moment.

"Yeah, I talked to Em last night," Rosalie answered simply and took a bite of her burger.

"And?" I prompted.

"He's not up to much," she wiped her mouth with a napkin. "The store's picked up a bit with summer starting and the tourists heading to the beach. He's still jealous he's not here. I make sure to text him as many pictures as possible." Alice and I laughed at her teasing.

"That's mean, Rose," I told her. She just shrugged innocently.

"Bella?" Alice asked. I acknowledged her with a nod. She smirked at me. "Don't think you can get out of not finishing our conversation from earlier."

I groaned. "I don't know. Seriously, I don't know what anything means and it's so hard because you guys and I can sit here until we're blue in the face talking about an endless stream of possibilities. Remembering how that date with Stefan went makes me want to cringe."

"That didn't count," Rosalie said. "I'm proud you went, but he just wasn't a match to you. Which, in the grand scheme of things won't matter."

"We're not trying to push you on Edward," Alice added. I swore I heard Rosalie mutter the opposite. "We just don't want you to run away from something that could be good. Even if it doesn't pan out romantically, at least you trusted yourself to open your heart to someone. He'll take care of it, Bel. My cousin and brother were raised by strong women who taught them to value and respect women. I think Edward's a lot like you in wanting the romantic, 'Disney' version of love – a true happy ending. He's also a man and will probably kill me because I told you this."

"I don't know what to say," I told her. "You also don't need to sell him to me. It's kind of like my head's in the middle of this shift - changing my mindset of what was to the openness of right now. I may be a bit jaded when it comes to love, but you're right, Al, I'll always have that 'Disney' view of love tucked away somewhere, waiting for that prince. But you know? I can't believe I'm saying this. I'm going to let whatever happens happen. To new beginnings!" I lifted my Coke can in the air.

"To love!" Alice threw in.

"To sexy, shirtless boys in this tropical paradise!" Rosalie exclaimed.

"Yes!" We crashed our cans together in a toast.

As the boat approached the harbor, our conversation shifted to lighter topics, including tonight's plan for dinner. Rosalie thought we should wait to attend a luau until the next night, after the sunrise trip. We decided on driving to Lahaina and check out a local restaurant, since it was so close to our hotel. After we docked, we tipped the crew and walked back to the car. Thought it was late in the afternoon when we disembarked, the sun still shone bright in the sky. We kept the top down and I had the luxury of sitting in the back, while Rosalie drove. Alice pulled out her phone and suddenly squealed in excitement.

"What is it?" I asked. She slightly tensed at my question.

"Oh!" She giggled nervously. "Jas sent me a funny text. I miss him."

"Ah, I see," I said slowly. I pulled out my phone and texted Edward.

_what are you doing?_

_Sent 6/4 4:32 p.m._

_Going to a hukilau…_

_Received 6/4 4:33 p.m._

I snorted.

_a what?_

_Sent 6/4 4:33 p.m._

_It's where the laulau is the kau kau at the big luau…_

_Received 6/4 4:34 p.m._

_oh yeah? well, humuhumu to you too…_

_Sent 6/4 4:36 p.m._

A loud laugh escaped after I sent the last text. What the hell? What was up with Edward's texts? Alice turned around to face me from the front seat.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"Do you know what a," I paused and scrolled back through the messages. "A hukilau is?"

"Yeah," Rosalie answered for her. "It's where the laulau is the kau kau at the big luau."

"What?" I couldn't stop the laughter fit. "You did not just say that."

Rosalie smirked in the rearview mirror. "Why do you ask?"

"No, really, how did you know to say that exact thing?" I asked again. "Edward sent the exact same sentence to me."

"Really?" Alice laughed.

"Bella, it's an old song from like the forties," Rosalie explained. "What'd you write back?"

"I just said, 'yeah, well humuhumu to you too'." The girls' laughter joined mine.

"Humuhumu?" Alice exclaimed loudly.

"Just sayin'," I shrugged. "Besides I can't spell out humuhumunuknukuapua'a-aloha-mahalo-pineapple or however the hell you spell that fish's name is."

Our laughter continued all the way back to the hotel. I didn't hear back from Edward but I didn't have a chance to dwell on this since it was already after five and we needed to get ready for dinner. After parking the car, we walked back through the beautiful open air hotel lobby that had a panoramic view of the pool and the beach beyond it. We took the short path just left of the lobby to the next building where our room was located. I plucked a red hibiscus off the plant with the intent of putting in my hair later.

"I'm showering first!" Alice announced. Rosalie and I just looked at each other and nodded in agreement knowing we'd have to wait a bit for our turns.

"She always wants to be first and yet she takes the longest. You'd think the one with the least amount of hair would be the quickest," she quipped.

"You know beauty can't be rushed, Rose," Alice shot back as she locked herself in the bathroom.

I flopped down on one of the beds and switched on the TV. Rosalie moved over to her suitcase and began rummaging through it. She pulled out outfit after outfit, finally deciding on a strapless knee-length soft cotton dress in bright purple. When she was finished putting it together, she lay down next to me. The water from Alice's shower lulled me into a light slumber.

I woke sometime later to Rosalie gently shaking me awake indicating it was my turn to shower. When I looked around the room, Alice was applying her makeup and Rosalie had some lounge pants and a tank on. A towel was wrapped around her wet hair. I jumped in the shower and relaxed under the warmth of the spray.

When I finished, the girls were dressed and waiting for me. I scanned my clothes and opted for a strapless electric blue cotton baby doll top and a pair of dark washed denim shorts. Instead of blow drying my hair, I worked some curling moose into it and let it air dry into more defined curls. I applied some makeup, playing up my eyes and added some shiny lip gloss. When I was dressed and my makeup was done, I quickly ran the hair dryer over my semi-wet hair. Alice came in the bathroom with the flower I picked earlier and helped me pin up the left side towards the part in my hair. She had straightened her own bobbed hair and pinned up both sides with some yellow barrettes. The color popped against the contrast of her dark hair. She paired some yellow wedges to match her yellow spaghetti strapped eyelet dress that tied at her waist with a bow in the back.

When we exited the bathroom, Rosalie was just putting on her black flip flops. She had pulled her hair into a sleek ponytail that sat low on her head and pinned up the front. Her makeup was on the lighter side as was Alice's. I grabbed my chunky black flip flops, which were my favorite sandals because not only were they comfortable, they added about three inches to my height. The mood was light and filled with laughter. The girls spoke to their boys while I was in the shower, and they were already enjoying a guys' night out, as it was well past nine o'clock back in California. Edward never texted me again, but Rosalie said he probably got busy at the store.

We drove into Lahaina, which was only about a five minute drive from the hotel. Alice was instantly happy when she won the latest round of Rock, Paper, Scissors. We parallel parked around the corner from the main square and walked down the quaint street towards the main one. The buildings all looked like they from the turn of the Twentieth Century, painted in bright colors, with many different types of restaurants, jewelry stores, souvenir shops, tattoo parlors and of course, the famous ABC Stores. There's usually one every three feet in Hawaii, but they have everything one could need – souvenirs, snacks, clothes, beach gear and so on.

"Hey," I stated as we crossed the street. I had noticed a tattoo shop.

"What?" Alice asked. She followed my gaze. The door to the shop led up some stairs to the second floor. "Oh no. Bella, what are you thinking?"

"I'm intrigued," I replied. "You know how long I've wanted one. It's the perfect opportunity."

"Yes, I know," she laughed. "We all know your weakness for good art, especially when placed on body parts. Maybe a specific person's body parts, eh?" She wagged her eyebrows at me.

"Alice!" I nudged her. "Come on." We continued walking.

"Bella, if you really want one, we can come back before we leave," Rose suggested. "I'm sure they'll have someone available and you can probably get one done in a reasonable amount of time, since it's not like your getting a sleeve inked or anything."

"That sounds good," I answered. "What do you think, Alice?"

"I'm all for it, if that's what you want," she replied. "As long as it means something to you, do it."

We walked past the huge banyan tree that was planted in the middle of Lahaina. We took pictures between the huge roots and branches of it. The tree took up almost a square block. It was amazing. We found a burger place right across the street that was located upstairs. It had a retro feel to it and even offered Vanilla Coke. We each ordered a different kind of burger and extra onion rings. Only Alice wanted them. I liked the breading and happily left the onions behind on the plate.

My mood was upbeat through most of dinner. We laughed and reminisced about college. Rosalie told us her own stories from school and the shenanigans she involved herself all in the name of the school's reputation against their rival. Before paying the bill, Alice and Rosalie excused themselves to the restroom. I people watched and realized my gaze kept catching happy couples. My heart clenched with longing and jealousy. Jake's face appeared from my memory and quickly faded to Edward's cocky smirk that he only wore when he teased me. Images of brilliant green eyes invaded my consciousness.

"What are you day dreaming about, Bella?" Alice's teasing voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Or should we say who?" Rosalie laughed.

"Ha ha girls," I replied sticking my tongue out and quickly looked away.

"Sure," Alice said knowingly. "You guys want to walk around a little?"

We paid the bill and began on one side of the street. Lahaina was the place to be tonight – people milling around, shopping and the bars looked crowded. My attention was suddenly drawn to the window displays of jewelry store. Sparkling gems set in rings, necklaces and bracelets caught my eye. Alice pointed out the ones with pearl settings but diamonds, rubies, and sapphires reigned superior to them.

"Come on, your majesty," Rosalie kidded. "If you want that tattoo, you may need to leave the Crown Jewels here."

"But they're just so sparkly," I pouted. After we walked the entire length of the town, we finally headed back to the car.

"What do you guys want to do when we get back?" I asked as Alice started the car.

"I'm going to lie down," Alice replied. "Especially if we're going to do the sunrise tomorrow. We're going to need to leave around three-thirty.

"In the morning?" I cried. I knew this already but hearing it out loud made me cringe.

"Yup," she replied. "It'll take us about an hour or so to drive across the island and into the national park."

"Right, I'm with Al," Rosalie spoke up. "We need to remember to dress warm – like snow warm. We can bring the blankets from the hotel as well. You guys brought jackets and sturdy shoes right?" Alice and I answered her in agreement. I'd brought my warm, down jacket. Apparently it was also not only cold; it was very windy in the crater which causes the temperature to drop even more. "Good. What are you thinking of doing, Bel?"

"I'm a little too keyed up to relax like that. I think I'm going to go sit down by the outside bar," I replied. "It's so pretty out tonight."

"That sounds nice," Alice replied. "Maybe if I get restless, I'll join you?"

"Sure," I told her.

After we parked, the girls and I went to the room, where I grabbed a notebook and a light sweater just in case the wind picked up. I made sure to take my hotel key. I bade the girls goodbye and took the pathway towards the pool area. I passed one of the hammocks, situated between two palm trees, and almost immediately impure thoughts of me and a bronze haired boy laying together in it half naked entered my psyche. I giggled like a little school girl with a secret.

I found a lounge chair far enough away from the small crowd in the bar area and situated myself. I slipped off my flip flops and sat cross legged facing the ocean. The moonlight reflected in silvers across the dark, wave ridden water. The stars blanketed the night sky and there was a very light breeze – I didn't need my sweater yet. To my right sat the bar where laughter and voices carried. Two fire pits were lit and even though I was close to one of them, I couldn't feel the warmth it radiated. I leaned forward and began to doodle.

My thoughts drifted, as it always did, to the detour my life took almost nine months ago. I always felt I lived such an ordinary life and when I found out Jake's monstrous secret, it had all the perfect ingredients for a Lifetime movie. The only thing missing was the knight in shining armor picking up the pieces of my broken heart and becoming my one true love. I snorted out loud in such disbelief of that ever happening. Love had always been important to me and I needed to hold on to that hope that it would happen again.

I thought of 'Sarah Marshall' and how Peter got his perfect ending after his ex-girlfriend, Sarah, fucked him over, much in a similar fashion that Jake fucked me over. Since I had already gone the meanest breakup, I felt the appearance of a hero was warranted. I imagined a couple of scenarios of different handsome actors would stumble upon me as I sat here, and we would share the most intense kiss, essentially sealing the wound on my heart. A warm feeling that I hadn't felt in so long flowed in me as my imagination ran wild. I put my pen down, leaned back and closed my eyes. Damn, I thought, it's been forever since I have had any sort of physical contact – that kind that makes my toes curl and eyes roll in the back of my head. The light footfalls of hotel guests interrupted my almost potentially racy fantasy.

"Aloha. Would you happen to know where the hukilau is taking place?" I tensed immediately at _his_ velvety voice. I turned to my left and there he was standing on the grass – my hero, clad in plaid shorts and a navy t-shirt. The breeze lightly blew his hair and he grinned widely at me. Edward continued to walk to where I sat.

"What the hell?" I shrieked. I almost twisted my ankle as I tried to stand up. When I righted myself, I ran the short distance and launched myself into his open arms. He laughed as his grip tightened. "What are you doing here?" I repeated as he set me down. We walked back to the abandoned lounge chair.

"Jeez, Swany, I thought you'd be ecstatic to see me," he laughed. I again sat cross legged and leaned against the back of the chair. Edward straddled the chair, our knees touching.

"Oh please," I pretended to snort. "Just because I don't go gaga over the greatness of Edward Cullen, like…what was her name? Jessica?" I tried to remember his drunk Madonna-ized date from Halloween party.

"That hurts, Bella," he continued, meeting my eyes. I was suddenly lost in a sea of green. "One time. It was one time."

"That's all it takes," I laughed. "Really, what are you doing here? When did you get here?"

"We got in this afternoon," he replied.

"Wait, what?" I asked in shock. "Were you here when I texted you this afternoon? What do you mean we? Are Emmett and Jasper here too? How long has this been planned? That's why Rose and Al were acting all weird today and your weird ass text messages."

He laughed at my rapid fire questions. "Yes, Yes, a couple of weeks ago and you're calling my texts weird? Coming from the woman who wrote, and I quote, 'humuhumu to you too'. I was trying to be clever, I thought you would have figured it out."

"Oh my God, Edward," I began. "That was the funniest shit I'd ever read and I had no idea what you were talking about. And don't mock the humuhumu or I'll have to do…something else." I had no idea what to say. I couldn't believe how my luck had changed for the better.

"That was good," he mocked me. "But yeah, Em and Jas are here. Honestly, we booked everything a couple of days after we went to the show. I talked to the guys and a plan was formulated." His face tensed, as if asking permission when reached for my hand. It was warm and I sighed with pleasure. "Bella?" He questioned quietly. I looked up from our joined hands. The dim lighting from the tiki torches and fire pit sharpened the features of Edward's face. His expression was so still, he almost looked carved from stone. The light banter ended and tension filled the air. I'd never seen Edward look so unsure.

"What?" I asked quietly. "Edward, you can tell me anything. Is it something bad?" I braced for the worst.

"It's not bad," he probably saw the panicked look at on my face. "I promise. At least, I don't think it's bad." He was making me nervous. I wanted to shake him to spit it out. "I've been trying to come up with a way to tell you this and it all comes to just saying it. So here it goes. I like you. I like you a lot, Bella."

Apparently, there was a way to make Bella Swan speechless – bare your feelings to her. "Huh?" Real coherent of me, right? The boy I had a crush on, said it first and yes, ladies and gentlemen, that was my reaction. "I mean, oh." Yup, college graduate too. Our faces had also seemed to move closer to each other.

"I know it seems really fast," Edward continued quickly. "I know you've been through a lot and I still really want to kick his ass for hurting you so badly. I also know you may not be ready for a relationship, but Bella, I feel this connection with you and I can't stay away anymore." He paused and his hand tightened against mine. Our eyes stayed locked on each other.

"Let me help mend your heart," Edward leaned further as he whispered those words. My breath hitched when I realized he was going to kiss me. His free hand cupped my neck gently and I leaned into it, relishing in its warmth. Time seemed to stand still as our bodies continued to gravitate towards one another. The moment I closed my eyes, Edward's lips gently met mine.

There was no hesitation. No fear. Just the feeling of need and want. I lost myself in Edward's words and my nerves took a backseat to my lust. Our hands let go and I scooted forward. I placed my hands on either side of his thighs and our kiss deepened. A tear or two may have escaped and his free hand brushed them away.

"Love, don't cry," he murmured against my lips with one last gentle kiss. His endearment made me choke up even more.

I leaned back and gazed into his dark green eyes. The firelight enhanced the color into a darkened moss. "Sorry," I sniffed. "I'm just, wow, um...did that really just happen?"

He laughed lightly and his right hand grabbed mine again. His thumb began circling the top of my hand. "Yes, it did. Bella, I just couldn't wait any longer."

"Wait?" I asked in disbelief. "You've been waiting to kiss me? You want me for real?"

"Bella! Of course I want you!" He exclaimed incredulously. "I wanted to tell you that night we were at the Whisky, but obviously the timing wasn't right. That's how the guys and I came up with that set list that night for you. With Liam running late, and Charlotte needing me to fill in, I took that as a sign to do something about it. That day at the meadow, I knew there was something about you. I just didn't know what."

I stared at him in shock. My personal movie ending followed me to Hawaii and came true.

"I don't know what to say," I told him honestly and told him exactly what I was thinking. "I like you too, Edward."

His face broke out into the happiest smile. He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. "Do you want go sit out on the beach with me?" He let me go, stood up and held out his hand. I put on my sweater and he grabbed my notebook for me. I took his hand again and walked beside him down the pathway to the beach.

We walked in silence until were halfway to the water's edge. We sat in the sand and I leaned my head on his shoulder. I gazed out at the ocean. For the second time today my mind was quiet.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked breaking the silence.

"I'm not," I replied.

"Was this too soon?" He inquired hesitantly.

"No. No!" I exclaimed loudly then threw my hand over my mouth. He laughed lightly. "Everything was perfect. I can't believe you're here and you like me."

"I really like you," he replied smiling. I returned his smile with my own. "Come here." He gestured for me to sit in front of him. I complied and moved positions. I leaned against his chest as his arms wrapped around me. I sighed in contentment.

"This is so nice, Edward," I told him. "I never in a million years thought something like this could happen to me. For the first time in a really long time, something happened the way I wanted it to. It was just a bonus that it was you."

"Oh, Bella," he said quietly. "You deserve everything you want in life. How your jack ass of an ex-boyfriend hurt you was in no way a reflection of you."

"Thank you, Edward. That means a lot." I ran my hands lightly over his arms. "How did this even happen?"

"I knew something was up when were standing outside and you were on that call," he explained. "After I finished up and we were at the bar, I wanted to tell you, but we got interrupted. I still wasn't sure how you really felt. Alice had been pestering me since before I opened the store. She may have indicated that she thought there was a chance. A small one." I giggled. "I put the pieces together when you asked me about Tanya's relationship with me."

"Oh. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. Subtly's really not my forte," I replied sheepishly.

"No! It was perfect. It gave me some insight to what you were thinking," he laughed. "I know what it's like to get over a break up and I would never pressure you into starting one with me. You're worth the wait."

"Oh my God, Edward," I said incredulously. "You're saying everything too perfectly. This is unreal."

"Isabella," he said sincerely. I turned to look at him. "I take a lot of things seriously in my life and this – you and me - is just one of them. I know you have no reason to really believe me, but I will not hurt you." The tears formed in my eyes. He said it with so much conviction that I had to believe him – I needed to believe him.

"Dammit," I said as I wiped my eyes. "You need to stop making me cry, Cullen."

"Bel," he started and pulled me back against his chest. "I don't ever want to make you cry sad tears."

"It's not sad," I reassured him. "I'm very overwhelmed and extremely happy right now. We have a lot of things to talk about. This was a really wonderful way to start, though."

"I'm glad," he kissed my head. "I like your flower." I burst out laughing as my tears slowed. "Come on, it's getting late."

We got up and made our way back to my room. He held my hand the entire way.

"Emmett will wake you guys up and we'll go see the sunrise. We rented a Tahoe, so we'll all fit," he said quietly as I dug my key out of my pocket. He handed the notebook back to me.

"You're going to go with us?" I asked hopefully. The romantic fantasies of watching the sunrise with Edward ran through my head.

"Of course, silly girl. Now, that I got you, I'm not letting you go," he replied with that damn smirk. "Now get some rest and I'll see you in a few hours." He leaned forward for one more kiss and I happily obliged. "Sweet dreams, Bel."

"Goodnight, Edward," I replied breathlessly. "Thank you."

With one last look, I shut the door. The light from the outside barely lit the room. I couldn't tell if Alice or Rosalie were here or bunking with their men. I quietly felt my way to the bathroom.

"Well?" Alice whispered loudly. I froze and squinted to where I heard her voice.

"Spill it, Swan," Rosalie said and flipped on the light.

I sat on the edge of Rosalie's bed and Alice joined me. "He kissed me!" I exclaimed excitedly and as part of the best friend handbook, they squealed just as loud. I went over almost everything that happened and Alice had me re-tell Edward's and my first kiss three times.

Sleep evaded us as we gossiped all night. We were going to be so wrecked tomorrow, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.


	14. You're Finally Back

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Here's the next installment, kiddies…enjoy!

**[Chapter 14: You're Finally Back with the Sun in Your Eyes]**

The knocking on the door startled me wake. I opened one eye to inspect and only saw nothing as it was still pitch black in our room. As I turned my head, I hit a shoulder and my legs were trapped under a warm body. The noise ceased and in my confused state, I began to drift to sleep again. I distinctly heard the click sound of the door unlocking and my heart raced in panic that we were going to get kidnapped, tortured and our kidneys extracted. After all we were three female tourists vacationing alone on an island. Damn those vacation horror movies for messing with my head!

"Alice!" I hissed into the darkness. I didn't know who slept where or even which bed I was in. I attempted to move my legs again. "Alice!"

"What?" She shrieked in surprise. I heard a thump as she rolled off of my legs and onto the floor. I could barely make out her shape or find a lamp.

"Rise and shine, ladies!" A loud voice boomed. Light flooded the room and the Bugle Morning Call Reverie loudly played. Alice and I screamed in surprise. I was instantly blinded and rubbed my eyes awake.

"Emmett!" Alice exclaimed. He stood there with the biggest, dimpled grin and continued to let his phone play those God-awful bugles. "That was not nice," she continued and picked herself up. Her hair was in complete disarray as she walked up to her brother and leaned into his chest. He happily embraced her.

"Aw, come on, Sissie," he cooed obnoxiously. He let her go and Alice sat on the perfectly made bed across from us.

"How could Rose sleep through that?" I asked incredulously. Rosalie continued to sleep soundly and I realized that's whose shoulder I had fallen asleep against. I got up, stretched and heard every joint in my body crack and pop. I sat back down next to Alice and we propped ourselves against each other.

"I can take care of that!" He laughed. Emmett, clad in jeans and black hooded sweatshirt, unceremoniously jumped next to her. "Makeup!" He yelled authoritatively. She immediately sat up in a panic and glanced in confusion at Emmett. The three of us burst out into laughter at her reaction.

"Em," she said sleepily and rolled her eyes. She curled into him as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "What time is it?"

"Baby, it's two forty-five in the morning," he told her in a softer voice and she winced. "Alright ladies, you have half an hour before it's time to go. The men will get the car and meet you in the lobby." As she leaned against his side, Rosalie walked Emmett to the door.

"There better be coffee, big brother," Alice called out.

"And doughnuts," I added. "Chocolate!"

"What do I look like – your errand boy?" He called back. That woke Alice up.

"Emmett! You come in here with that da-da-da-da-da-da-da-army shit in my ear, there better be coffee," she sarcastically sang out.

"And doughnuts!" I repeated and fell backwards against the bed. I closed my eyes hoping to just fall asleep.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, kids," he grumbled lightly. The door shut lightly. I heard Rosalie walk into the bathroom.

"Come on, Bel!" Alice shook me. "We have to go!" She continued and I groaned in reluctance. "You get to see Edward!"

"Aww, Al, you had to pull out the big guns," I laughed. She already moved over to her suitcase to look for an outfit. "Oh my God!"

"What?" She looked up concerned.

"He kissed me!" I giggled. The more I woke up, the more lucid I became and the memories of the night before flooded my mind. I also remembered how, after the gossiping was done, we got about three hours of sleep in a shared bed.

"I know!" She laughed and threw a pair of balled up socks at me. I finally got up and rummaged for my warmer clothes.

"We're bringing a change of clothes, right?" Alice nodded.

I quickly dressed in a pair of bootcut jeans, an emerald green Henley and my white etnies. They were the most comfortable shoes, like wearing marshmallows on my feet and in a creative moment, had laced wide black laces through them. I placed my black hoodie and down jacket on the bed and grabbed some clothes to change into when we returned from the national park. By that time, the weather would be toasty warm. Alice dressed similarly to me – a v-neck sweater with thick black and white horizontal stripes and black skinny jeans. The sleeves hung right past her wrists and she wore knee-length black Uggs with the fur trim. She put a black beanie on her head and placed her coat next to mine.

Rosalie finally emerged from the bathroom, still in her pajamas, but her makeup and hair were perfect. She had pinned her hair half up and half down and it hung in soft waves down her back. Her makeup was flawless and light – the perks of being a makeup artist. "Bathroom's free," she casually said in her sleepy voice. Before Alice could claim it, I just walked in.

I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair was a curly mess. Since we'd probably end up stopping at a beach later in the day, I secured it in a low messy bun and pinned the front to the side. I finished getting ready so Alice could use it next. When I walked out, I grabbed my makeup bag and put a little on – some waterproof mascara, pencil and a little shimmer. At least I'd look awake, though I could hear the bed calling to me – the comfy covers and fluffy pillows. Rosalie was dressed and sitting with her eyes closed on the couch by the window. She had on a purple plaid button down layered over an eggplant colored long sleeved thermal and jeans. She had some black hiking boots on her feet. All of our totes were lined up on the bed, next to our heavy coats.

"Hi, sleepyhead," I whispered loudly. "We should get going soon, yeah?" I carefully pulled the hoodie over my head, mindful of my makeup. Rosalie grunted in agreement. We were so not morning people. Alice, on the other hand, bounced out of the restroom full of smiles.

"Let's go! Let's go!" She energetically announced. "Em has my coffee!"

I looked at the time – three-thirty. Not bad for three girls who shared a bathroom. "Come on, Rose, we can sleep in the car." I pulled her up.

"Whose idea was this anyway?" She asked.

"Rose, it's going to be so romantic," Alice paused. "With our boys." She looked at me and winked. I stifled the girliest giggle that threatened to escape. "Cuddling and watching the sun rise over the islands."

"That's right, our dear Bella, has reeled in her own catch of the day," she smirked and her sleepy eyes twinkled in mischief. "Like I said, oh about four hours ago, way to go, doll."

"Okay, enough," I laughed. Nervousness began to seep in. "Let's go please. We're running late." That's when a cell phone started ringing. It was Alice's.

"Hel-lo?" She sang in greeting. "Yes, dear, we're walking out the door right now. Uh-huh, yes. I know, darling. Mhm. Two minutes. I swear. Bella was trying to look pretty for our cousin. Right."

"Alice!" I hissed. She winked at me.

"Emmett, you better have my coffee or I swear," she had changed her tune. Rosalie and I gathered our things and followed after Alice. We locked up and headed for the elevator. Alice hung up with him and we made our way across the building to the lobby area. The boys were sitting on the couches talking quietly. My eyes automatically gravitated to Edward. He looked even better than he did last night. He wore a black beanie over his hair and was dressed in a charcoal gray hooded sweatshirt, dark jeans and some black tennis shoes. His eyes sparkled and he tilted his head back in a laugh at something Jasper said. I got a great view of his jaw and his scruffy face. Damn, I was smitten. I laughed to myself and butterflies erupted in my stomach.

"Hello, boys," Rosalie stated when they failed to notice that us. We were the only other people wandering around in the middle of the night. Edward's face immediately sought mine and he smiled when he saw me. All three stood up and Alice and Rosalie immediately walked to their respective partners. I hung back shyly, a little unsure of how to greet him. Luckily, Edward saved me from the internal debate. He walked with purpose to me and enveloped me in his arms with the warmest greeting I had ever received. There's nothing like when a boy grips you in his arms with purpose. It's the best feeling in the world.

"Morning, Isabella," he welcomed me. I hugged him back just as fierce and mumbled a sleepy hello into his chest. He smelled so good and he kissed the top of my head. His embrace calmed my nerves almost immediately. Alice's squeal broke the moment and we released each other.

"Coffee!" She exclaimed and looked at her brother. "I love ya, Em." Edward and I looked at each other and laughed.

"Hey!" Jasper suddenly interrupted. "I got that for you and even fixed it the way you like." He crossed his arms over his coat and feigned hurt. Emmett snickered and just smiled, his dimples prominently displayed.

"Oh, well, I love you too, Jas, honey," she patted his face lightly. Jasper's mouth hung open in shock. From her spot on the lobby couch, Alice just closed her eyes and inhaled the steam wafting from the cup. She looked content. When Jasper didn't take his eyes off of her, she looked up and smirked. Alice put her coffee down, stood up and pulled the ear flaps of his toboggan hat towards her. He complied and she kissed him. The issue was officially dead. I snorted. Very ladylike, I must say, especially in front of my crush. I laughed internally – I have a crush!

Edward took my hand and led me over to the couches. "A little birdie told me you might like this." I wasn't sure what he was talking about until he handed me a little white paper bag. I looked inside and there were two chocolate doughnuts with sprinkles. My face broke out into the biggest smile.

"This is amazing and probably really delicious," I gushed. "Thanks. Little bird, eh? Are you sure it wasn't a turkey?" Edward laughed lightly when we heard a 'hey' from Emmett.

"Dude, I to try get you brownie points and this is how you repay me?" Emmett threw in. I laughed and ripped a piece from the soft doughnut. I think I moaned at how good that it was because suddenly all eyes were on me and Edward coughed. Then the giggles and snorts commenced. I ignored the path their dirty minds took.

"Sorry," I said, my mouth was full, so it sounded more like 'sauwy'. "Get your minds out of the gutter." I ripped off another piece and prodded Edward to open his mouth and fed it to him.

"Pretty good," he replied.

"That's it?" I told him. "That's your reaction? This is perfection." Edward just shook his head and stifled a laugh. "Go ahead; I know you want to laugh, but no more doughnuts for you."

"Aw, come on, Bel," he pursed his lips into a pout.

"Dammit, Edward Cullen," I laughed and lightly shoved his shoulder with mine. "It is way to flippin' early to pull out the pout." I conceded defeat and handed him another piece.

"See, and you probably thought you were the only one with the power of pouting," he smirked. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

"I think it's time to get a move on," Jasper interrupted our banter. "We still have about an hour's drive to tackle."

We filed out following Jasper and Alice. Edward offered his hand and took my bags and coat. I spotted the twenty-four hour gift shop and wanted to grab a milk to go with my doughnuts. "Give me a minute, I'm going to run and get some milk."

When I turned to leave, Edward stopped me. "Like this one?" He held up a little bottle of milk. I just looked at him in wonderment. "What? You don't look like a coffee drinker to me, especially with a chocolate doughnut."

I smiled, took the milk and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Thank you." We walked out to the front where was waiting. Edward moved to put my stuff in the trunk.

"Why are you all standing there? Don't we need to go?" I asked and arched my eyebrow.

"Yeah, we drew straws and you two lost, so you're sitting in the back," Jasper announced. Where in the hell did he get straws at three in the morning?

"Fantastic," I answered, not in the mood to question. "Do not look at my ass as I attempt to climb in. Can you please hold this?" I handed Edward my bag and milk when he came back.

Everyone climbed in; Emmett took off in the direction of Haleakala National Park. Rosalie was much more alert after Emmett gave her a hot chocolate and helped him navigate. After I got situated, I shared the rest of my breakfast with Edward. The lack of sleep was starting to hit me halfway there. I leaned against Edward comfortably.

"Why don't you lay down?" he whispered and patted his lap. "I'll wake you when we get there. There's not much to see in the dark."

"Why sir, are you trying to get me in your lap already?" I snickered. I had no idea where this sass came from, but I liked it. "Not even a date first?"

"Maybe I should rescind that offer then," he replied just as jokingly. "Keep my lap to myself. You can sit up then and I'll give you the grand tour. On your left you will see nothing. But if you keep your eyes to the right, even more of nothing –"

I laughed and tried to cover his mouth in jest. He ended up kissing my fingers. My heart raced in surprise and I swooned at his gesture. I curled up and rested my head on his thigh. Edward reached in the back and covered me with my jacket. He pulled out the bobby pins and began to softly stroke my hair which relaxed me enough to sleep. Dammit, he found my weakness and I snuggled closer against him.

The next thing I knew, his voice filled my ear. "Bel, wake up, we're entering the park." Hearing his deep velvet voice was such a soothing way to be woken up, unlike Emmett's bugle brigade.

"We're here?" I asked. I faced him as I sat up. "Was I snoring?"

"Yes!" Rosalie yelled from the front. I stuck my tongue out.

"No, you were fine," Edward chuckled.

"Everyone conked out, Bel," Emmett interjected. "It was crickets for almost forty-five minutes."

"Excuse me," Rosalie stated. "I was co-piloting with you and you're welcome." While they continued back and forth, Jasper and Alice finally stirred.

"It's so dark out here," I commented. We followed a winding two-lane road, and only passed one or two cars. I touched the window. "Feel the window, it's freezing. Did we bring blankets?"

"Yes," Jasper said yawning. "They're in the trunk."

About twenty minutes or so, Emmett finally parked and everyone filed out. A blast of cold air filtered in when the doors opened. I was last and Edward helped me down. I clung to him as I stepped down. "It's so cold!" I pulled my hood over my head and held it closed over my face. It was a bit windy, which wasn't helping with the temperature. Edward helped me into my coat which brought a little of warmth. I turned to my friends and everyone was bundling up in their coats. I glanced around at the scattered groups of other tourists and it was eerily quiet, despite the soft echoes of conversation going on around us.

We walked away from the car, towards the stony and cement stairway. This led to the area where we would be able to watch the sunrise. I looked up and the expansive black sky was blanketed with stars upon stars twinkling overhead. "Wow."

"Bella!" Edward's voice called back to me. I had just stopped walking to look at the night sky. I quickly jogged over to him. We followed our friends up the stairs to where they found an empty spot by a short crude stone wall. As I stood at the top of the stairs, I could see down to the softly illuminated parking lot. Surrounding the parking lot were small, rocky hillsides. Beyond that, darkness obstructed the view of the crater. I walked past the observation room, where blanketed groups of people huddled for warmth. Those who stood in there would still be able to view the sunrise through the panoramic windows while staying out of the wind.

I made my way down the rocky dirt path to where Jasper, Alice and Edward stood. A wall, about three feet high, ran the length of the hill we were standing on. There was a four foot drop on the opposite side that blended into the darkness. In the view, I could see the headlights of cars making their way up the winding roads to where we were. Other than that, the landscape was shrouded in darkness.

My nose, face, and hands were freezing. I kept rubbing my hands together to create some heat. Even Edward's hands were cold as he tucked my hands into his jacket's pockets. We faced each other and I tried to bury my head in his jacket. God, he smelled good. His cologne was very light and mixed with his scent. Emmett and Rosalie, who had stopped to check out that observation room, came back. Jasper got up from where he and Alice sat and handed them and Edward the blankets. Alice was already completely wrapped up like a burrito in hers.

The rest of us joined Jasper and Alice on the wall which is where most of the observers seemed to be claiming their seats. There were no benches or chairs set up. Edward let me sit first. I yelped as my body made contact with the cold rocks. The cold infiltrated my jeans and my legs definitely absorbed the freezing temperature. Edward chuckled in my ear and rubbed my arms trying to create warmth.

"Here you go," he said quietly and draped the blanket around us. I noticed everyone that was standing around spoke in hushed tones. Edward took a seat next to me; our legs dangled below. I snuggled close to his side and wrapped my left arm around his right one.

"Thanks," my teeth had begun to chatter a little. "This is nice," I sighed. Edward kissed my forehead. I turned my head up and leaned forward, however, Rosalie completely killed the moment by taking a picture of us.

"Rosalie!" I whined while Edward just looked amused. I peered past him. "Really?" She blew a kiss to me and continued to snap photos of all us.

After a while, the six of us quieted down. I tried to take in more of our surroundings but the faint light provided by the one or two lamp posts showcased none of the landscape beyond a couple of feet.

"Bella, look," Edward spoke up. He pointed to the east and there was a very faint, very small sliver of orange that contrasted against the black sky.

"Wow," I whispered excitedly.

"It's starting!" Alice piped up next to me. We grinned at each other and then she made kissy faces. I rolled my eyes and smiled back.

"Hey, I brought my camera," Edward said. "Let's take a pic." I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "What? We should have a picture together."

"I didn't say anything," I laughed. "Go ahead, Ansel Adams. Snap away."

He laughed and lightly tickled my side. "Say cheese." We became that cheesy couple who took too many pictures with different poses, kissy and silly faces. However, the minute that word, hit me – couple. I stiffened instinctively. Were we? What are we doing? Are we dating? Is he my boyfriend? Oh my God! My head went into overdrive with questions. I tried to hide it. I had to. I suddenly felt crazy that I was thinking like this. Jeez, he only just kissed me not even eight hours ago.

"Are you alright?" Edward's voice broke my thoughts. He was flipping through the images we took.

"Hmm? What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine," I fibbed. I looked back at the horizon and the orange colored had expanded. The landscape was lightening slowly. I focused on the changing colors. Eventually, I could see the sky color changing. Behind me it was still black with stars, but in the east the light blue of day was illuminated by the sunlight. The sun itself was not even visible yet.

Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I snuggled closer to him and wrapped my arms around him. I kept my eyes on the horizon and I felt, rather than saw, him lift my chin with his left hand. He lightly kissed me. Once again, with a simple kiss, Edward was able to quiet my mind. I eagerly kissed him back. My hand reached up and gently cupped his face, his light stubble soft against my fingers.

"I've wanted to do that all morning," he whispered.

"Me too," I agreed. We held each other tighter and watched the sun finally make its appearance in the distance. "Oh my God." I looked around and we were situated in the crater of this dormant volcano and it seemed like we were on another planet. Red dirt and rocks, hills and valleys draped the landscape. In the distance white clouds dotted the bright blue sky. The sunlight and sun were blinding. With his free hand, Edward took pictures, as did Alice and Rosalie. All around us, besides my friends, people were excited and in awe of what we all just witnessed. I had a perfect three hundred and sixty degree view of Maui. Surrounding islands could be seen as well as the blue silver color of the ocean. It was the most amazing view I'd ever seen.

Once the sun was high in the sky, the weather slowly warmed and the blankets became unnecessary. We walked back to the car, packed them up and decided to hike around a bit before leaving. The six of us then paired off. Edward and I crossed the parking lot and followed one of the shorter trails that meandered around part of the crater.

"It's like we're on Mars or something," I commented out loud, indicating to the rough, barren terrain.

"I know, right? It's weird," He agreed. When we made it to the top of the small hill, we were away from the crowd of people also walking around. He sat on top of a rock and pulled me to him. The rock was high enough that we were eye level as I stood between his hanging legs. "So…"

"So, what?" I asked.

"So you want to share what's going on in that head of yours?" He lightly tapped my temple.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I answered and stared into his shining green eyes. They were so light in the morning light. I moved my index finger over his eyebrows, down the side and traced his jawline. He briefly closed his eyes. When I lightly skimmed his bottom lip he gently kissed it. He waited patiently while I gathered my thoughts. I sighed. "How do you do that?"

"Hmm?" He questioned.

"I know I've told you this before. You have this way about you that makes me want to blurt out everything," I explained. It was true. Besides Alice, I wanted him to know my deepest secrets and desires. This man had seen me at my worst and saw through the façade I created in trying to pretend that everything was fine. "I already lack any sort of verbal filter, so I tend to say things without thinking. It's especially lacking around you. You and your damn voodoo powers. I think it's all in your eyes. No one should have eyes as pretty as yours. It's just dangerous."

"Pretty, eh?" He burst out laughing. "Really? I like the voodoo power, but pretty, Bella? Can't we go with manly or rugged or even smoldering?" Damn that smile. It was so disarming. The way the one side lifted up higher than the other, like a permanent sexy smirk without the asshole factor. I began to laugh at him and he pushed my hood back. "I want you to blurt things to me. I want you put your foot in your mouth. I want you to trust me. I know it's asking a lot. But I want to get to know all sides of you, whether you are laughing, crying, arguing, complaining or even just calling to say hi."

"God, Edward. I want everything you're saying. I just want to feel normal again, like myself. I don't want to feel bad anymore. Don't worry, I'll always have the worst filter, but I find it disarming that it was so easy for me to act like myself around you, even then. You never got the whole, "first impression polite Bella" – the impressive and put together one. This is really me – plain and simple." I pointed to myself.

"There is absolutely nothing plain and simple about you," Edward interrupted. He bopped me on the nose playfully. I giggled.

"My head is a very active place. I constantly over think, imagining scenarios and internally arguing before an argument has even taken place," I continued. "I have moments of clarity and moments of insecurity. Questions run rampant. Nine months ago, my path in life took a sharp left and now I'm unsure of everything ahead of me. It's overwhelming to put myself back on track."

"Listen, Love. It's okay to be scared. It's okay for you to feel the way you do. Don't be afraid to live. Life passes by so fucking fast and you don't want miss all the good that comes with it." Edward was so sure, so sincere. My heart fluttered at his endearment. "That's what I'm here for. I'll reassure you. I'll be your friend first, Bel. You really can tell me anything and I'll help you get through it. You also have Alice, Rose, Em and Jas. We'll never let you down."

"How'd you get so smart, Cullen?" I asked. I desperately wanted to fall headfirst into whatever we were doing – no thinking, no hesitation. The old me would have put her heart on the line wholeheartedly and I wanted that back. I needed to get it back.

"Well, I did eat my vegetables as kid," he laughed. "I just call it like I see it. I don't bullshit and my parents and life taught me well. I really would like to see where this takes us – whatever it is. But you need to tell me, is this all too much too soon? I think we've established the fact that there is a connection; however, we can take a step back. I know you have a lot on your mind. What happened this morning?"

Wait a minute, was this too fast? Could we even go back to being 'just friends'? He was giving me an out. I didn't want it. Without a hesitation my mind said no. After being acquainted with his hands and lips, there was no way I could only be his friend. I inwardly rolled my eyes and just told him how I felt. "No. Fuck. I don't regret anything. You are the best surprise in my life, well except for this trip, I guess. I spooked myself when we were taking pictures. It all felt very couple-y. Normal. And I freaked out a little. I told myself to shut up and enjoy the company. I do like you a lot. Probably more than I should right now. But I don't care. For first time in the last year, I feel in control of what's going on around me. Well, at least with the last twelve hours or so."

Instead of saying anything, Edward brought me flush against him and began kissing me. Not the gentle kisses of last night or pecks on my head. These were filled with desperation, want and acceptance. I crossed my arms around his neck and his tightened around my waist. He gently pulled on my bottom lip and as I rubbed up against him, I lightly moaned at the sensation. I pushed my hips closer desperate to feel more. My hands played with the hair at the nape of his neck that wasn't covered by the beanie. I opened my mouth and Edward's tongue eagerly met mine, deepening our kiss. His hands moved sensuously up and down my back. I couldn't get enough. I couldn't feel close enough to him. Edward's mouth slowly left mine and followed under my jaw, passed my neck, where he partially unzipped my jacket and tugged my sweatshirt collar down. He found the sweet spot where my neck meets my shoulder and placed open mouthed kisses sending shivers down to my toes.

When he pulled back, I finally opened my eyes and was met with his dark green irises gazing in longing back. In awe, I traced my finger from his temple to his scruffy jaw. He turned his head, grabbed my hand, and kissed my palm. I smiled. He leaned in to kiss me again but alas, the moment was broken.

"Hey, you guys!" Emmett's voice bellowed like Sloth from 'The Goonies'. Edward leaned against my shoulder and shook his head. I laughed.

"We should go," I said quietly near his ear. He quickly kissed my neck as he pulled away and jumped off the rock. He held my hand as we made our way back to the car. Our silence was comfortable. We didn't define or label ourselves, but I was okay with that. Without a doubt, I knew we shifted out of friend mode.

As we stepped onto the blacktop, catcalls and whistles erupted. I glared at my friends and face palmed myself. When I looked back up, Edward wore a smile and flipped them off. I let go of his hand and began to strut in front of him, waving all prim and proper like a pageant queen.

"Just enjoying the view, eh?" Emmett wagged his eyebrows as we approached the car. Alice and Rosalie were giving me mental high fives. I smiled widely back at them.

"Immensely," Edward responded seriously, his eyes meeting mine. My breath quietly hitched in surprise and scrunched my nose.

"So what's next on the agenda, boys?" Alice asked, thankfully changing the subject. "Breakfast for real? Please?"

"Yes!" Emmett agreed. "Let's hit the road and grab some food. Then we can explore the island a little. We can change at the restaurant. Jas, you want to drive?"

"Sure," Jasper agreed. "Shotgun, Darlin'?" Alice nodded eagerly.

"You're in the back this time, right Em?" I asked.

"Yeah, about that Bel," he started. "You see," he dramatically flexed his muscles like a body builder. "That last row, just can't handle these pythons. So you and Eddie here will have to take one for the team."

"What?" I burst out laughing. Rosalie just patted Emmett's shoulder with mock sympathy.

"Hey, Em," Edward spoke up. "I'll thumb wrestle you for the middle seat." Emmett gazed at him warily. His blue eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"And what else?" He asked.

"Loser gets first round of drinks tonight," Edward replied.

"Deal," Emmett answered. "Rules?"

"Anything goes, except for junk punching," Edward smirked at what seemed like a long ago memory. Alice squealed in excitement, while Jasper laughed.

"What's going on?" I asked Alice quietly. I moved closer to her, Rosalie and Jasper. Emmett and Edward circled each other like they were in the middle of a gunfight duel.

"This is so exciting!" She clapped excitedly. "I don't think they've had a showdown like this since high school. Edward ended up with a broken arm and Emmett broke his toe."

"What?" I laughed.

"Dumbasses," Rosalie interjected. "Both of them. I can't believe I'm going to marry him."

"Em was always closer to Edward growing up and they have to one-up each other. I think the last time they were trying to see who could jump off the highest cliff ledge. You know those cliffs up by First Beach that everyone's always diving off of? Well, each time one jumped off a ledge, the other went to the next highest point. I screamed at them to stop, but finally, they were racing up to the second ledge from the top and they ended up shoving each other off. I think Edward collided with the water at a bad angle and Em's foot caught the cliff edge."

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, it was horrible, with me and Victoria screaming from the beach and Jasper swam out to them. Em and Jas helped get Edward out of the water. This was two years before you moved there. Since then, their toe to toe matches have been fewer and fewer."

Who's Victoria? I'd never heard Alice ever mention her in the years we'd known each other. Rosalie's voice interrupted before I could ask her. I tucked that question to the back of my mind for a later time. The boys were now glaring at each other.

"Babe!" Rosalie shouted. Emmett immediately looked at her. "Are you done swinging those things around? Someone's liable to lose an eye. It's cold and I'd like to go now." I burst out laughing.

"Thanks for the support, Bel," Edward stated. I just winked at him.

"Babe, we're almost done here," Emmett told her. He turned back to his cousin. "Okay, the terms are established. One – no junk punching, two – only one hand can be used, three – loser buys first round and sits in the back and four – everything else is game."

"Agreed," Edward approved and they both shook on it. Jasper stepped in and took on the role of referee. Alice, Rosalie and I leaned against the car and watched Edward and Emmett grab each other's hand – almost like a handshake with their thumbs sticking up.

They circled a bit. Emmett yanked Edward's arm so he stumbled forward. Edward tried twisting and turning to escape Emmett's brute strength. Where Emmett was physically stronger, Edward was more agile and strategic.

"Get 'em, Em!" Rosalie suddenly cried out. "Go for the jugular!"

Alice and I burst out laughing. "Rose, this is not 'Gladiator'," Alice said between her giggles. Rosalie just shrugged.

Suddenly, Edward slipped his foot – I had no idea how this happened – behind Emmett's, landing him on his back. He sat on his abdomen and pushed his thumb down. "You're in the back, cuz."Edward triumphantly stood up with his hands in the air. The thumb war was over before it really got started.

"Great! Can we please go now?" Rosalie asked. "Boys in the back, eh Bel?" She looked at me mischievously. I gave her a slight nod in agreement.

"Wait, what?" Edward's head whipped up.

"You heard me. Your terms were the loser sits in the back, not couple. Therefore, Bella and I will take the middle seat and the two of you can cuddle in the back," she said matter of factly. I looked at Alice and we started giggling.

"Bella?" Edward called me and when I looked at him, he had a full blown pout. His lips were begging for me to kiss him. I groaned in response.

"Sister Solidarity!" Rosalie rallied next to me. I slowly walked towards Edward whose lips were still perfectly puckered. I crooked my finger and he bent forward. I kissed those lips and he immediately responded. I smiled against him and lightly kissed him up to his ear.

I whispered, "Them's the breaks, kid," I lightly patted his face. Edward's mouth dropped open in shock as I sashayed and looked over my shoulder. Emmett guffawed and everyone erupted in laughter. As I continued to walk to the car, I didn't hear his approach. In no time at all, Edward swooped me into his arms and over his shoulder. I squealed, "Put me down!" Edward just laughed and ran around the parking lot with me. Without thinking, I spanked him. He stopped dead in his tracks. I started laughing even more.

"Isabella," he stated with parental authority. "Did you just smack my ass?" I howled in laughter. I think the high altitude and lack of sleep made me loopy.

"No!" I replied quickly. "Ok. Well, maybe. It was just _there _begging for it." Edward's body shook with laughter and I could feel it vibrating through his whole chest. I moved my hands up his back and I could feel slight muscle definition in his back.

"Don't start something you can't finish," he warned as he walked us back. I immediately let go and he chuckled. By the time we got back to the car, Emmett was situated in the back and Rosalie sat in the middle, like she said.

"How in the hell did you get back there?" I asked incredulously.

"I have no idea," Emmett shrugged. "Very carefully."

I let Edward slide in and I followed, shutting the door. Suddenly I heard shoving and light grunting as Jasper pulled out of the parking spot.

"Boys, if I have to turn around, you will be staying in the car when we get to the restaurant," Rosalie warned. She winked at me.

"But, Babe! He's taking up all the room. Him and those legs," Emmett complained.

"Me?" Edward exclaimed. "Look who's talking, Gigantor."There was some more grunting and pushing. The rest of us burst out laughing.

When Jasper went around a bend, I saw how different the land looked in the day time – lots of green, trees, grass and – "Cow!" I yelled. There were some cows grazing on the side of the road. "Slow down! I want to take a picture! Can I have your camera, please?" Edward laughed and handed me his as Jasper pulled to the side of the road. I immediately jumped out ignoring my friends' teasing. There weren't any fences that could keep the cows from wandering onto the road. I slowly walked towards the one closest to us without getting too close. "Here cow, look here," I told it quietly as to not spook it. It was a black cow with big, dark eyes and it just stared at me. "Bye, cow." I took the picture and quickly made my way back to the car. "Ok, we can go now!"

We took off again and followed the winding road back out of the national park. "Where are we going?" Alice asked.

"There was a Denny's we passed on the way here," Emmett answered from the back. Edward had taken to lightly rubbing my neck.

We found the restaurant and filed in. Breakfast was loud, fun, and full of pancakes, omelets and loco moco rice. We all had a blast just eating and hanging out. It was decided after that we would take a ride past Kaanapali and do some exploring. A popular spot on the northwest part of the island was the Nakalele Blowhole. After paying the bill, we all changed into our swimwear, shorts and t-shirts.

I changed into a turquoise halter two-piece. The top had tiny white polka dots and the bottoms had a turquoise band around the waist and tiny horizontal stripes in black, white and yellow. I pulled on some turquoise long boardshorts and white V-neck tee. I threw on some tan sport sandals. These were neat because I could wear them in the water or hike with them and my toes would be protected from rocks. I finger combed my tangled curls and re-did my messy bun.

Alice and Rosalie changed into similar casual outfits with their suits underneath. Alice had on her one piece, black and white, horizontal striped suit. It was one of those suits that can be strapless. She wore short, khaki shorts, a dark green t-shirt and some trainers on her feet. Rosalie opted for a two-piece, Lisa Frank inspired halter bikini – pink, purple, orange, green, red, yellow and black – with the colors blending into each other in a tie-dyed pattern. The straps of her suit were black. It was loud and very Rosalie. She slipped on a pair of denim shorts and black tank top. On her feet were similar sandals to mine in black. Before exiting the restrooms, we made sure to apply sunscreen for each other.

The boys were waiting for us in front of the restaurant– big surprise. Since all they had to do was throw on their trunks and a t-shirt. Edward had on brown and tan plaid boardshorts with a brown t-shirt and some flip flops. He had removed his beanie and his hair was all over the place from him running his hands through it to get rid of the hat hair. I laughed goodheartedly to myself at the disarray of his bronze strands. Emmett's boardshorts were white, red and black in three large horizontal stripes and a black tank top, while Jasper opted for blue and black Hawaiian print shorts and a navy t-shirt.

"Ladies?" Emmett greeted us. "Are we now ready to go?"

"Yup, Em," Alice responded. She skipped out of the restaurant after Jasper offered his assistance with her bag.

"She's excited," Jasper explained as if there needed to be an explanation.

"She's Alice," I giggled as we followed behind her.

"I heard that!" She yelled back.

"Love you!" I replied.

We all climbed in and took the same seats from when we left the park. Jasper once again drove and we headed in the direction of our hotel. The weather was fantastic – sunny and warm - such a contrast from the moon-like atmosphere of Haleakala. Conversation flowed easily between the six of us, joking and laughing about the events that led us to today. A thought hit me.

"Hey, who's watching your store?" I turned to ask Edward.

"Oh, uh, Felix is," he replied. He laughed at my sudden question. "Why?"

"I don't know," I answered. "I mean, you just opened a couple of months ago and I just thought of it."

"Felix is probably one of my closest friends and has a knack for business," Edward continued. "He'll keep the troops in line until we get back."

"Well, that's good."

"Where are we going?" Alice asked.

"You have the map, sis," Emmett snickered from the backseat.

"Funny, Emmett. You're so hilarious!" She made a face at him. "I have the GPS and the directions the waitress gave me. It's not that hard to get to, but what are going to see?"

"It's neat, I heard one of the flight attendants talking about it to someone on the plane," Emmett stated. "Apparently, it's called a blowhole because the water hits the rocks in a certain way and shoots out of the cracks like a whale's blowhole. You can easily hike down to it. This isn't the only one, but it's an actual tourist spot."

As Emmett continued explaining what he eavesdropped, I took to looking out the window. We finally reached the turn off to Kaanapali and the ocean was now on our left. The sky was so clear and the ocean was so blue. There were boats scattered and surfers paddling out. Once again the highway hugged the coastline. To the right, mountains and hills covered in green loomed overhead. I immediately thought of 'Jurassic Park' and imagined a dinosaur suddenly making its way through the trees.

The island energy was so different from the fast paced lifestyle of Los Angeles. It was refreshing and I was much more relaxed here than L.A. or even back in Forks. I loved the bubble we created away from real life. Having Edward show up just for me was the cherry on the sundae. For the next couple of days, I was not going to think about what ifs and find meanings behind gestures. Hawaii had become my sanctuary without it trying to. I felt more at home here than any of the places my mother moved us to or even with my dad. It's not that I was miserable living with my dad - I had friends, Alice and Jasper, a life and _him._ I realized now, I just didn't know any better. I didn't know where my life really was going to end up. What made me move to California? How did my mind know before I did, that it was probably the best decision I could have made in the long run? I guess going away to college and everything I went through in the last year helped me grow up just a little more.

I stretched my arms above my head when I was suddenly tickled. "Hey!" I screeched. I turned and Edward was looking out the window. He was trying not to laugh but his mouth was in a tight line and his eyes avoided mine.

"What happened?" He asked innocently. Too innocently, if I must say so myself.

"Yeah, what happened, my ass," I retorted.

"Aww, Belly-welly," he lightly pinched my cheek. "Don't be mad."

"Oh my God," I laughed. "That is so sickening." He started laughing and sat back. I just shook my head and smiled.

"I'm bored," Rosalie suddenly said.

"I think I can help with that, Babe," Emmett replied suggestively.

"Oh, okay," she agreed. "Let me just climb over this seat, probably hit Bel in the head with my foot and end up smashed back there with you and your cousin. Yeah, that's alright." She started laughing. Emmett just shook his head.

Alice began to play with the radio and she settled on a pop station. "Hey," she turned to face us. "We're still going to the luau tonight, right?"

"I think so," Jasper answered. "It's still early enough that we can get back and still hang out a little at the hotel. It's not until after six." Everyone nodded in agreement.

As we finally passed our hotel, the landscape changed from natural to more city-like with buildings, restaurants, hotels and resort golf courses, the highway began to weave and curve. After another stretch of highway, the natural geography of Maui dominated the scenery. The highway was now situated high above the water. We even stopped at one of the many fruit stands along the highway to buy some snacks.

We assumed we found the spot when we saw a pocket of parked cars along the side of the two lane highway. There were trails that led either down to rocky shore or hike into the surrounding hills. Jasper made a U-Turn and parked on the ocean side. There was a small amount of tourists walking around the grassy landscape. The ground was on a slight slope leading to the cliffs over the ocean. To the right of the trail, there was an open field with towers of rocks spread around in varying sizes.

"Let's go check that out, yeah?" I asked our group. We walked past the little towers, leaving them undisturbed. I assumed people on past trips marked their trip building a memento. I started looking at the ground and picking up smaller stones to make my own. Edward went ahead to stand at the ledge. We all followed. I brought up the rear.

"Hey!" He shouted. "You can see that blowhole from here." Emmett ran up to see and took Rosalie's camera with him. He started taking pictures.

With Edward distracted, I remembered when Rosalie grabbed me on the boat yesterday. I dropped my rocks, ran up behind him and wrapped my arms around his middle. In an instant, I gave him a slight shove.

"Wha-?" He laughed and wrapped his arms around me.

"Saved your life!" I giggled. He shook his head at me. I let go and went back to get my rocks.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm building my own rock tower thing," I replied. "Why not? It's a good way to memorialize that we stood here at some point in time. Then I'll come back and maybe it'll still be here."

"That's a good reason," he grinned at me. He helped me find the right balance and when it was done, I had a cute mini rock tower. When it was done, Edward brought out his camera and made me pose with it. He even took pictures of it standing alone.

"Let's go hike down to the water," Jasper suggested. He secured the backpack that had our snacks. We made the trek back up the hill to just go down it again on the other side.

"Oh my," Alice commented. I looked at where was gazing. There was a trail leading down to the blowhole, which sprayed like a geyser when water hit the rocks at just the right angle. The trail wasn't a long one, but it was very rocky and windy. "Emmett go first."

"Alright, come on, Babe," he held Rosalie's hand. Alice, Jasper, me and Edward trailed behind. The sun was high in the sky and practically no breeze. I prayed that I wouldn't slip.

The boys helped us climb down and around the rocks. We followed where each person put their foot. By the time we reached the bottom, the temperature had dramatically cooled as the mist from the spray swirled around us. Emmett ran over to it and was immediately drenched. Rosalie just laughed at him until he came back, not only hugging her with his wet body, but picked her up, and walked her over to the water. He held her until the water got her too and she squealed as the cool ocean water hit her.

I looked back up in the direction of the car and noticed how low we were from the road. Alice's voice broke me out of my observations.

"Don't you dare, Jasper Whitlock!" She yelled. A predatory expression graced his normally relaxed face. His arms were out to grab her as she tried to dodge him.

"Come on, Darlin'," he drawled. "Come play with me." He smiled the patented 'Jasper' smile that let him get away with murder with her.

"Oh shit," she stated. "I'm doomed." She looked at me and shrugged in defeat.

As she backed away from him, she removed her shoes, and the rest of her clothes. Jasper, being the more considerate boyfriend than Emmett, let her keep her clothes dry. The other two were still playing in the water, clothes and all. However, the minute Alice's hands left her clothes; Jasper grabbed her and had her jump on his back. He carefully ran to Rosalie and Emmett, where they got completely soaked.

I started laughing at the comedy I was witnessing and completely forgot I was still dry. For now, anyway. I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Edward looking at me.

"Um, yes?" He quirked his head in the direction of our friends.

"What do you say?"

"Are you actually asking me, Cullen?"

"Why, actually I am, Swany," he laughed. "I mean, I could just throw you over my shoulder with no warning, like earlier, but I thought I'd be nice."

"Uh-huh, sure." I removed my shirt as did Edward and placed it on Alice's clothes. His arm reached past me as he threw his on the pile. I could feel eyes on me and when I turned around my breath hitched as I took in the sight of a shirtless Edward. My eyes started from that trail of hair leading from his shorts – yes, I briefly stared at his crotch – to his navel, up his stomach to his mildly defined chest that was lightly dusted with chest hair. I was finally able to study his half sleeve, which I had assumed was a collage of many tattoos, but now saw that it was one large piece of art. A beautiful bird was inked from his elbow to just past his right shoulder.

It was stunning and expertly done. Near his elbow was a myriad of colors creating the flames – reds, oranges, yellows and blues with soft black shading. The flames shot out and blended into the bird's plumage. The bird itself was inked in even more color that matched the flames below it – golds, reds, oranges, purples and again shaded with black. Though it was less abstract and more detailed, the flames theme continued into the artwork of the bird. The wings were flowy with purple and black accentuating the tips, while complementing the blend of reds and yellows and seemed to almost cradle Edward's shoulder. Instead of feathers, the bird itself was drawn using the flames as inspiration. The head of the bird faced down at the top of shoulder, right past his collar bone. I actually gawked at him.

He smirked and used his hand to gently close my mouth. Edward held out his hand, which I happily took and we walked over to the water. He just exuded masculinity and sex. I needed to shift my attention elsewhere and chose to watch the little kids who were running around the spray. The geyser wasn't a consistent flow of water. The harder the wave slammed against the rocks, the bigger the spray. We all stood together and watched nature. It was beautiful – the ocean waves, the rocks, the birds flying above and the blue sky.

After we were drenched enough, we moved to sit on some dry rocks as Rosalie rung out her clothes to let them dry a little bit. I sat next to Edward and started poking around his tattoo. He had pulled up his knees and loosely rested his elbows on them. I sat cross-legged next to him. Alice and Jasper took to exploring, while Rosalie and Emmett were talking on a different rock.

"Your tattoo is amazing," I told him as I studied it. "It's done so well and it's so vibrant."

"Thanks," he looked at his arm briefly and watched my hand make its way around. "You know ink?"

"Oh, not really. Just a fan," I answered. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all," he replied. "It feels nice. Do you know the story of the Phoenix bird, Bella?"

"Um, well I know the X-men version," I laughed. Edward looked surprised and started to laugh. "The cartoon, thank you very much."

"Ah, the nerd finally makes an appearance?" He quipped. I lightly punched his arm. "The Phoenix myth is probably one of the oldest stories in history. There are many different versions from across the world, but they all have a central theme – rebirth. I don't know specifically which legend this is. I mean, I can be completely meshing a bunch of stories into one. Basically, the Phoenix bird is like a fire spirit and at the end of its life cycle, it destroys itself in fire. However, from the ashes left, a new one emerges. I like to think it's the same one rising out and starting anew. It continues like that for years."

"That's remarkable," I commented and stared at his art. His voice took on a velvet undertone that was enchanting.

"I think people are a lot like this bird," he continued. I finally gazed at him and he was already looking at me. "As humans, we go through periods that seem to destroy us – a tragedy, a loss or just a personal experience, but we always persevere and become better for it. At least I think so."

"Speaking from experience?" I asked. I realized in that moment, I didn't know Edward on that deep of a level.

"Yeah," he answered quietly. "That's how this bird came about. I got this the summer I graduated college. My ex-girlfriend and I broke up for the last time and parted ways. We'd been together for the better part of six years. Like you, our relationship just clicked and we were separated more than together due to different colleges. I knew she was destined to do great things outside of that little town. She got a full ride to a university in New York to pursue Photojournalism. She was the kid that always had a camera in her hand and was editor of the yearbook.

"We already knew that we would be attending different colleges and that was okay. Our preferred colleges offered exactly what we needed individually. For the first two years, it worked seamlessly, visiting on holidays, school breaks, that sort of thing. Our junior year, Vic got the opportunity to do a year abroad with a foreign press company. We had a very long talk about what our relationship had become and we knew our ultimate goal was to be together, so mutually we made the decision to break up while she was in Europe. It just didn't seem fair to either one of us, since by then, tunnel vision set in to reach our goals."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to interrupt. This is most I've ever heard Edward talk about himself. He'd taken to staring out at the water as he spoke. I watched his face as he spoke. I could see the emotions on his face. It wasn't longing but more nostalgia that graced his face.

"Was this Victoria?" I asked curiously.

"You know about her?" He replied.

"Not at all, Alice mentioned it earlier today in passing, when you and Emmett were in the parking lot," I told him quickly. "She just said her name. That she was on the beach when you broke your arm."

"Oh yeah," he laughed. "That hurt like a bitch. I couldn't do shit when they put that cast on. I was pretty useless for a while. Anyway, yes, Victoria. Even though she was across the pond, we spoke and emailed when we could. We still really loved each other. About halfway through the school year, I attempted to date. It just wasn't the same. Our connection was too intense. I knew she was it for me. She went through the same. We were quite a pair.

"We spent the summer between junior and senior year together. So by the start of the new school year, we were official again. It was the hardest year of my life. We broke up three times. She was traveling more to other states and countries. As we reached graduation, our talks about our future became heated and full of blame. I had finally worked my way up at the record label I had been interning at since freshman year. My major was in Business with a minor in Marketing and I loved music, so I worked my ass off at the label. With graduation approaching, one of my mentor's started discussing the Marketing Manager position there. He was prepping me for it. I was beyond excited for the opportunity. Even then, I was toying with the idea of the music store as well. But I wanted the industry experience as well and a steady income was nice."

"I didn't know that," I mused out loud. "That's pretty impressive, Edward, especially for a kid right out of college."

"Thanks," he answered. "I was just so proud and when I told Victoria. She was happy for me, however, she had her own successes in New York. She had made important contacts with members of the media and was getting offers from around New York and the company she worked with in Europe. We were at a stalemate. She didn't want to live in Los Angeles or move back to Forks. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just pick up and move to New York or follow her around the world. Her argument became that she didn't want to live in Forks. But I never offered her small town life or mentioned it as I didn't want to move back home.

"One day, completely out of the blue, she called me up, 'I want to live, Edward,' she had said.'I don't want to be tied down to anyone or anything,'" he continued and ran a hand through his now dried hair. "I felt like someone punched me. This wasn't the same argument as the many times before. Our tempers rivaled each other's and that day was out of control. I just couldn't picture living out of a hotel room for the next ten years or traipsing around the globe at a moment's notice. Vic wanted to cover current events and that year abroad gave her a taste of that nomadic life she craved. She's very passionate about capturing the human spirit and experiences. There was no room for compromises anymore. We ended it right then and there. No more 'I love yous' or hopes of our future, just a 'fine'; 'fine' and drinking binge of three days that followed."

"Oh my God," I whispered. I was speechless. His heart has never been so revealed to me. I could hear the old emotions in his voice surface. He continued before I could say anything. I wrapped my arm through his and placed my head on his shoulder.

"It was sort of an empty feeling afterwards. I didn't know what to do next. Like you, I kept up with all of my responsibilities and appearances, but I felt dead inside. After a couple of months, I decided enough was enough. It had to be. I was at work one day, looking through some advertising artwork when I came across an abstract picture of a phoenix. It was bright with its flames engulfing it and I remembered from one of my electives in school about the bird. I started researching it and six months later I had this," He pointed to his arm. I looked down from where my head lay. I pulled away to look at him and he took my hand.

"I probably should have told you sooner because I really do understand heartbreak and the abrupt end of a relationship," he continued. I shook my head. "I wholeheartedly believe that we can really get through anything eventually. You, Bella, are like this bird. You were dealt a bad hand and yet, you lived through it. Yeah, it hurts like hell, but look where we are," He gestured to the ocean. "You and I wouldn't be here. And for me, I certainly like this beginning."

"God, Edward," I replied. "It takes a lot to share an experience of your past and I appreciate you sharing it with me. That's awful. It hurts my heart that you went through that. It hurts me more that _I_ went through that. What a mess."

He laughed. "We can be a mess together. Because whatever you and I create will be the best kind of mess."

I groaned and kissed his shoulder. "You're so corny."

"What can I say?" He shrugged. He got up and stood in front of me. "Come here."

I jumped off the rock and Edward immediately enveloped me in a hug. "Bella, love, whatever we are doing, wherever it goes, no matter what happens I will always be grateful that you are in my life. This is exactly where I want to be with you."

I buried my head in his chest. I could feel the heat of the sun on his skin, smell the salt on his skin and his words made me melt. _I _was wanted. _I _was desired. I spoke words that I never thought I'd ever say again. Taking a deep breath, I looked into those emerald irises and spoke the truth. "I want this too."


	15. In the Dark, I Can Hear Your Heart Beat

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Welcome back! Welcome New Readers! Enjoy! There are so many of you reading this and I'm blown away by that! Thank you!

Previously from OotA, the gang saw a romantic sunrise and spent the day at a 'blowhole'. Edward shared with Bella about his relationship with his ex, Victoria, and the meaning behind his tattoo. Oh, there was some major liplock involved too!

For tonight's next installment you may need some tequila with your lemon wedge…

**[Chapter 15: In the Dark, I Can Hear Your Heart Beat]**

The hotel shuttle bus dropped us off at the front entrance to the luau in Lahaina. Tiki torches lined the walkway that led the thatched roof covered reservation desk.

"Aloha!" A young girl in floral print dress greeted everyone.

We replied back in kind and were given a lei of beautiful purple and white orchids. The girls and I each placed a single, small white flower to wear over our right ear, which indicated our unmarried status. Rosalie, in defiance, switched it to her left and stated that the wedding was close enough to deem her taken. Emmett pumped his fist in triumph and slung an arm over her shoulders.

Alice, Rosalie and I decided to dress casually, yet cute, in cotton dresses. Alice straightened her dark hair into a sleek bob and pinned her bangs pinned to the side. She wore a white, tie-shoulder tiered sundress that stopped mid-thigh, and paired white woven t-strap sandals with it. Alice was even more petite than usual thanks to her choice of very flat shoes. Rosalie dressed in a simple strapless yellow and white patterned jersey knit dress and accessorized it with a wide white belt. The platform cork wedge sandals, in a neutral color, showed off her killer tanned legs and she pulled her honey blonde locks into a low side ponytail.

I opted for a short, strapless brown handkerchief dress that fell high above my knees. There was a tropical design of cascading flowers and leaves diagonally placed down the front of the dress, in yellow, turquoise, pink and tan. A geometric pattern in yellow and pink followed the hem of the skirt. Thanks to the height my chunky brown flip flops gave me, I was almost as tall as Rosalie. I left my hair down, which had dried in waves after my shower earlier.

Once we entered the luau, the attendants handed us Mai Tais – a cold, delicious combination of rum and pineapple. The luau ticket price included the show, dinner and drinks – the latter in which I was going to take full advantage of. Edward grabbed my hand like it was the most natural thing in the world and I followed him down the pathway. He looked so handsome in a white linen shirt with threaded designs down the front and his long khaki shorts. His hair was in its usual mess with the reds, browns and golds reflecting off the setting sun. On his feet he wore brown leather flip flops and his jaw was even scruffier than the day before.

Demonstrations of ancient Polynesian life – ranging from coconut shucking, basket weaving to tool carving - were scattered around and we had free reign of the area. Alice, and Jasper, who was dressed just as casual as the girls, sported a blue short sleeved plaid button down and black cargo shorts, walked immediately over to one of the exhibits. Rosalie pulled Emmett towards the bar for a refill on their tropical drinks. I laughed when I saw the back of Emmett's shirt. He wore a retro looking bowling shirt with 'Tiki Tiki Lounge' in orange and a hula girl in a grass skirt, both embroidered on the back. The logo was sewn in style of vintage Nineteen-Sixties tiki style font. He also wore black shorts and black leather sandals. He winked at me and his dimples deepened as he grinned at my giggles.

Edward and I continued walking to the back near the boat filled harbor. I began to take pictures of our surroundings with the camera I brought. Against the lava rock wall, a woman demonstrated how to weave baskets by braiding and weaving leaves together.

"Bella, look!" Edward said suddenly. I turned my attention away from the finished baskets to see what caught his attention. I didn't see anything and he noticed my confusion. "Just watch." I followed where his dexterous index finger pointed and was distracted by the thought of what those fingers could be capable of. I quickly took a sip of my drink and welcomed the sugary sweet flavor. Suddenly a flipper slapped the surface of the water.

"Oh my God!" I squealed. "A turtle!" I started laughing when the turtle's head poked up and quickly snapped a photo. We sat on the low rock wall that separated the luau property from the harbor and watched the turtle lazily swim around. "Say cheese," I told Edward. I leaned towards his face, so my temple rested against his left cheek and took a picture.

Since our conversation from earlier that afternoon, my brain had given me a reprieve of overthinking about Edward's and my relationship status and the future. I simply decided to enjoy the remainder of our days in paradise and throw a little caution to the wind. A stranger interrupted my musings which brought me to the present.

"Would you like me to take a picture of you two?" An older woman with a mid-west accent asked.

"Sure," Edward answered happily. "Thank you." He put his arm around me and whispered in my ear. "Smile, Love." I sighed internally and did exactly what I was told. She counted to three before she took the picture. She handed Edward the camera back and we checked the image to make sure our eyes were open.

"One more?" the lady inquired. Edward nodded and looked at me. I shrugged in agreement. She moved to the left of us, I think to capture the rapidly setting sun. She counted again and when she hit three, Edward surprised me by kissing my temple. I'm sure my surprised expression was captured.

He quickly got up and retrieved my camera. He thanked the lady who smiled and told him something I couldn't quite hear. Edward laughed and I just watched his face with intrigue. He ran his hands through his hair and bade the woman goodbye.

"What was that all about?" I inquired. He put my camera in his pocket and drained the remainder of his drink. He just chuckled again in amusement. His laughter was fast becoming one of my favorite sounds to hear - it was a genuine, carefree one.

"She wanted to know if we were on our honeymoon," he laughed.

"What?" I choked on my drink and joined in the laughter.

"Yeah!" He continued. "She said we looked happy in that 'just married' sort of way."

"Wow," I replied. I didn't know what to say to that. Luckily, I didn't have to. The sound of a conch shell announced the unveiling of the Kahlua pig. Our friends made their way back to us and we followed everyone to the pit where the pig was buried. We surrounded the banana leaf covered pit and watched the blessing ceremony. Afterwards, the pig was unearthed it and carried off by four men. We were then directed towards the tables.

A waiter led us to our assigned table number, which was given to us when we checked in. It was situated towards the back and faced the terraced stage. The sky darkened to purple and black above the harbor and framed the stage with the surrounding palm trees. The weather was perfect – still warm with a very light breeze. Soft Hawaiian music flowed from the speakers, adding to the atmosphere. When I sat down, Edward excused himself to get us more drinks. Alice sat on my left. Rosalie and Emmett sat across from us. Another couple sat next to them and the woman engaged Rosalie in a conversation.

"Al," I said and she turned her attention towards us. "Some lady thought Edward and I were on our honeymoon." I had to tell someone. It was too funny to keep to myself. She squealed happily.

"Shh," I hissed.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "Well you guys do make a cute couple. I mean, besides Jas and I," she said dramatically.

"Oh yes. Excuse me," I dramatically batted my eyelashes. We giggled.

"Here you go, Bel," Edward's voice filtered in, effectively ending our mini gossipfest. He handed me the new drink and I nodded in thanks.

"When do we eat?" Emmett asked suddenly and rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "I can't believe it's a buffet dinner!"

"He hasn't been this excited since KFC brought out that disgusting chicken sandwich," Rosalie interjected. "You know that one where the two pieces of chicken are the bread? Gross."

"Babe, that is a manwich," Emmett replied. "Only the manliest of men can handle it." He even flexed his arms like a wrestler.

"Yeah, right," Jasper threw in. "And probably die of a heart attack."

"P'shaw," Emmett said. "What about you Eddie?"

"Me?" Edward answered. "There is no question that I exude rugged manliness, however, even I won't attempt to eat that shit."

"You guys are no fun," Emmett pouted in disappointed.

Our waiter interrupted the chicken debate and gave a rundown of the night's activities. First, the buffet and then the show will begin. We ordered more drinks from him. The alcohol had relaxed me so much that I casually leaned forward and rested my chin on Edward's shoulder. He kissed my temple and held my hand under the table.

"Are you having fun?" He asked.

"Yup," I nodded. "I'm excited! I love this kind of stuff."

Eventually our table was called and we got up, plated our food and went back to our seats. Emmett's plate was filled with almost everything the buffet offered. We all looked at him in amazement. Rosalie stifled a laugh.

"What?" He asked. "They wouldn't let me take two plates and I don't want to miss the show."

Finally, the lights dimmed and live music started. Men and women, clad in various costumes from Hawaii's history, ascended the stage. They danced and chanted their way through each time period using their hips, hands, fire, palm leaves, and musical instruments.

During one portion, a group of well-muscled, half-dressed men illuminated the stage with amazing fire tricks. The ladies in the audience cheered loudly and Edward suddenly covered my eyes.

"Hey!" I giggled. I lost count on the amount of Mai Tais I had consumed and was vaguely aware of the buzz I currently felt. He laughed at my weak attempt to move his hand.

"Now, now, Love," he whispered. "What kind of 'husband' would I be if I didn't protect your innocence?"

"Ha!" I snorted. "Well, _husband, _I should say, you might have to leave the vicinity when those hula girls show up again."

"You have no fear of that, _dear_," he continued in a hushed voice. His lips lightly tickled my ear. "There's only one girl I want to see doing the hula anyway." He kissed me right below my ear and the fork I held fell with a clatter as it hit my plate.

I squeezed my eyes shut and shivered in pleasure. He removed his hand from mine and rested it on my thigh. When Edward lifted his other hand away from my face, I looked at him and was immediately struck by the urge to kiss him. The candlelight reflected in his squinted eyes as he looked at me. Before I could move, the waiter interrupted and placed new drinks in front of us. The moment was broken and Edward drunkenly smirked before he turned back to the show. I once again, leaned up against his shoulder. We both attempted to watch the remainder of the show.

"Bella?" Alice whispered to me as to not disturb the surrounding tables. I turned to her. "It's last call. Me and Jas are going to get shots for the table."

"Ok," I answered her. I picked up my drink and continued to enjoy the blissful feeling of being drunk.

When they got up, Edward turned back to me. "Hey, when we get back, would you like to take a walk with me?"

"Sure," I replied and we got lost in each other's eyes once again. The bang of the drums startled us both.

Alice and Jasper returned a short time later with two trays of shots and some lemon wedges. "We're back!" She half whispered to our table.

"Alright!" Rosalie rubbed her hands together. With one arm around Rosalie, Emmett used his free hand to grab a glass.

I grabbed the salt shaker and licked the spot between my thumb and my index finger. When I glanced at Edward, he subtly licked his lips. I smirked and shook some salt onto where I licked. In that same hand, I held the lemon and waited.

"Everyone ready?" Alice said. She also had a glass in one hand and a lemon wedge in the other. Rosalie squealed when Emmett licked her shoulder before he poured salt on it. I noticed Edward didn't use the salt and kept his heavy lidded eyes on me. "Cheers to you guys! We are so glad you boys could help us pull off this surprise for Bella! And you two," she looked at Edward and I. "Bel, Eddie, the four of us are so happy it worked out the way it did and we wish you guys happiness and fun times ahead!" With that Alice took her shot. We followed suit.

Before I could lick off the salt, Edward grabbed my wrist and ran his tongue along my salt laden hand. My mouth dropped as he sucked on both the lemon wedge and the tips of my fingers that held it. I quickly forgot about the burn from the alcohol and frantically kissed him. I could taste the mix of tequila and lemon on his lips. He kissed me back with the same fervor.

When I finally pulled back, I smiled at him and felt the warmth from the liquid coursing through my body. The dancing on stage, the cheers of the audience and the stares of our friends faded into the background as I focused on the scruffy faced man next to me.

"One more?" He asked as he held the shaker and I nodded.

"But it's my turn." I put my hand out for the salt shaker. He gave it to me and left his hand in the air waiting for me to pour some salt on it. "Nu-uh." He looked incredulously at me. "Your neck." His eyes widened and he shifted in his chair so he could lean forward. "Right here." I softly dragged my nail right under the hinge of his jaw. Edward briefly closed his eyes and nodded.

I kissed him passionately and as I made my way towards the spot I picked, I lessened the pressure of my kisses. Edward placed one of his hands on my leg and lightly rubbed it. I licked him very slowly and with my finger applied the barest hint of salt. I grabbed a lemon wedge with one hand and the shot glass in another. The soft murmurs of the table went silent and I could feel the eyes of our friends watching intently. I winked at Alice and quickly downed the shot. Edward shuttered lightly as I licked off the salt. But before I could suck on the lemon wedge, he took it from my hand and placed the rind in his mouth. I arched an eyebrow and practically lunged for him. The tart of the lemon hit me and I scrunched my nose at the sourness. Suddenly an applause erupted startling me. I quickly moved back from Edward to see what was going on.

Glancing at our friends, they cheered us on rather than the show's grand finale. Edward started laughing and I placed my elbows on the table to shield my eyes with my hand.

"That was amazing," he whispered in my ear. I peeked through my fingers to the right and started giggling. "Come on, it's time to go." I wobbled a little as I stood up and Edward grabbed my elbow to help steady me.

"God, that was so much fun!" I giggled some more. He held my hand and followed everyone out.

After exiting, we all stood by the curb to wait for the shuttle. Rosalie and Emmett sat on a nearby bench quietly talking. Alice stood directly in front of Jasper while he rested his chin on her shoulder and had his arms wrapped around her waist. I could see the sway in everyone's stance or maybe it was me - I couldn't tell. I was completely buzzed and my eyes fluttered shut. Edward stood directly behind me and I leaned back against him. He kissed the crown of my head.

"Hi," I spoke with my eyes shut.

"Hi yourself," he answered with a husky voice. "You okay?"

I turned around and looked up at him. He wrapped his arms around me. "I'm more than okay. How are you?"

"A little drunk, but can't complain," he smirked. "You ready to show me that hula?"

"I think I can arrange that," I answered giggling. I tightened my grip around his torso and rested my chin on his chest.

"The shuttle's here," Jasper called over to us. We separated and followed each other onto the waiting bus.

The short ride back to the hotel was quiet. Alice and Rosalie talked about what movie they wanted to watch when we returned. I sat with my head on Edward's shoulder and listened.

After departing the shuttle, we lingered in front of the entrance to the hotel.

"We're all down for watching a movie, right?" Alice asked. Everyone but Edward and I nodded.

"You still up for that walk?" Edward asked me. I nodded, eager to spend more time with him. "I think we're going to take a walk," he told everyone. "We'll see you guys later."

"You have your key?" Rosalie asked me.

"Yup," I lifted my wristlet. I hugged the girls, Emmett and Jasper before we took off. As we started to walk through the lobby my obnoxious friends began to yell.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Alice drunkenly cat called. That was followed by a very loud wolf whistle. Edward and I flipped them off at the same time which only instigated them further. I turned around and stuck my tongue out.

We laughed as we continued down to the hotel pool area. To the left of the pool bar was a winding cement path that ran parallel to the beach.

"I can't believe it's only been a day since you got here," I mused. The night was peaceful with the sound of the crashing waves, which helped drown out the noise coming from the small crowd at the bar. A slight breeze rustled through the palm leaves above us.

"I know, right?" he answered. His hand tightened around mine and he led me to a wide metal framed hammock that sat under two palm trees. "Is this okay?"

"Definitely," I replied.

"Ladies first," he kissed my hand.

"Do not let me fall, please," I told him as I slipped off my flip flops. The hammock swayed minutely thanks to Edward's iron grip steadying it.

"Never," he answered.

As carefully as I could, I climbed in and situated myself while he followed. Edward had toed off his sandals as well and laid on his back. He wrapped his arm around me and I cuddled up to his side. It was pleasantly quiet as we swayed very slowly. I started to play with the buttons on his shirt absently and he lightly stroked my arm.

I was deliciously relaxed and closed my eyes. I took pleasure in the gentle movement of the hammock and the warm, masculine boy next to me. "Thank you for coming to Hawaii, Edward," I whispered.

"Anything for you, Bella," he replied just as quietly.

I looked up to his eyes and smiled. Edward cupped my face and gently kissed me. I got lost in the softness of his lips and was overtaken by the intense connection I felt to him. I scooted up and Edward shifted so he was on his left side. We mirrored each other and his hand moved to my hip. My fingers, on their own, made their way into his hair. He sighed as I lightly scratched his scalp. Our kissing deepened when our tongues finally met and I could only hear the quickened breathes of he and I. Edward's hand moved up my hip, back to my neck and caressed it softly.

Subconsciously, it seemed that our bodies inched closer and closer until we were flush against each other. I moved myself against him and we both groaned when his hardness hit me. I placed my arm under his shirt and held on to his smooth back. Edward slowly worked his hand along my ribcage while his mouth trailed kisses down my neck. My senses were on fire and I had no idea which one to focus on. I never wanted this feeling to stop.

The sway of the hammock increased as our bodies fought to stay connected.

"Oh my god," I panted. I looked at the intensity of Edward's eyes. He had moved his hand back to my hips and held me close as he guided them against him. My hand continued to rub his back.

"Jesus, Bella," he sighed as his lips attacked mine once again.

Our breathing increased as the sensation took over. How I had missed this blissful feeling even if it was only over the clothes action. I tried not to cry out as my orgasm took over. Closing my eyes, I buried my face against Edward's neck and kissed him. He shuttered when my lips met his warmed skin. His arms tightened around me and he sighed in contentment.

"Bella?" Edward whispered. His voice sounded far away. "Bel?"

"Hmm?" I sleepily answered.

"Wake up," he continued, speaking softly.

"What's going on?" I opened an eye and lifted my head. The temperature had cooled some and a breeze had picked up causing me to shiver.

"It's almost two in the morning," Edward answered. "Let's go back up."

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed quietly. "I fell asleep?" I questioned and suddenly remembered what transpired prior. "Oh shit."

"What's wrong?" he asked. He stroked my hair.

"Nothing," I mumbled and tried to bury my face in his chest. "Shh, I'm sleeping 'dream Edward'."

Edward's chest vibrated with his chuckles. "Come on, Love." He extricated himself from me and slowly got out of the hammock. I carefully sat up and he held out his hands to me. We put our sandals back on and made our way back to the lobby. We were one of the only guests walking around in the early hours of the morning.

"I'm so sorry I fell asleep on you," I told him. My buzz was mostly gone by this point thanks to my impromptu nap.

"It's okay, I did too, for a little bit," he replied as the elevator doors opened. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot," I answered. I rubbed my eyes. "Shit," I grumbled when I realized I probably just smeared makeup all over my face. Then I gasped when I saw that Edward's white shirt had smudges of mascara and eye shadow on it. "Sorry," I wiped at his shirt. He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"Don't worry about it," he laughed. "That's what washing machines are for."

"Yeah, well now you're all sparkly," I teased. He shook his head at me and smirked. I faced the mirrored doors and watched the floor number climb. "What'd you want to ask me?"

"Will stay with me tonight?" Edward asked shyly. My head whipped back to him in surprise.

"Um," I began.

"You don't have to," he cut me off. "That was a stupid question. Nevermind, I'll walk you back to your room." He moved past me to hit the floor my room was on.

"Edward!" I shouted. My voice echoed in the small elevator. Edward flinched at my tone. "I would love to stay with you."

"Yeah?" He asked, relieved.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Okay then," He smiled. The elevator opened and I followed him out. "We got a two room suite. We flipped a coin to see who got a bedroom. Emmett lost, but he has the big T.V. in the living room." Edward fished out his key and led us in the darkened room.

"Where did everyone end up sleeping tonight?" I asked as a yawn escaped me.

"Jasper's here with Alice and Em stayed with Rosalie," he replied quietly. He grabbed my hand and we walked to his room. It was a large suite with doors that led out to a balcony, an en suite bathroom and a huge, beautiful hotel room with the standard white comforter.

"I see," I said dryly. "So you all just assumed that I would come back with you then."

"What?" He asked alarmed. He flipped on a light. "No! Bella, there was no premeditation. I'm sorry if you feel coerced. I would never want to make you feel uncomfortable or forced into doing something. I can even take the couch if you want?"

"Relax," I laughed. "I'm just kidding. It's fine." I sat with my legs crossed on the bed and watched as he shut the door. The mattress was soft with an insane amount of pillows just begging for me to lie on. "Do you have a t-shirt or something I can borrow?"

Edward stared at me in amazement, as if he couldn't believe I was here.

"What?" I asked. He shook his head, walked over to his suitcase and pulled out a black t-shirt.

"I'm going to jump in the shower really quick," he said, almost apologetically, while he handed it to me.

"Okay," I answered automatically. "Oh! Yes!" I suddenly realized he probably needed to clean up after our impromptu dry humping session in the hammock. "Of course, you must be totally uncomfortable."

"Bel, it's okay," he laughed. He gave me a quick kiss. "I'll be right back. Make yourself at home."

Edward left to the bathroom and only after I heard the shower running did I change out of my dress and bra. I quickly put on Edward's shirt over my underwear and gleefully jumped into bed. I sniffed his shirt and sighed happily as I buried myself beneath the down comforter and six pillows.

I wasn't aware I had fallen asleep until the bed shifted and strong arms wrapped around me from behind. When I opened my eyes, the room was dark with only the moonlight streaming through the sheer curtains.

The moment was suddenly broken when the urge to pee hit me. "Um, Edward?"

"Hm?" He mumbled sleepily.

"I really need to pee!" I tore away from his arms, jumped out of bed and promptly stubbed my toe on what could have been a dresser. "Fuck!"

"Are you alright?" Edward asked as he switched on the bedside lamp. I closed my eyes to the bright light while I held my injured toe.

"Yes," I squeaked and limped my way to the restroom. After using it and washing my face, I made sure I was minty fresh and used the little complimentary bottle of mouthwash before heading back to the bedroom.

Edward sat shirtless against the headboard, his hair still a little damp from the shower. He grinned and patted the bed. I caught him giving me the once over and suddenly felt self conscious. I tugged the shirt down, as if it was too short and nervously climbed back into bed.

"Better?" He asked as I tucked my legs under me. I nodded. "How's your toe?"

"It's okay," I answered softly. I loosely braided my hair but without a rubber band, it unraveled.

"Come here," he gently pulled me towards him. Edward switched off the lamp and the room plunged back into darkness. He had opened the balcony doors and the curtains gently ruffled from the light breeze. We once again faced each other. I placed my hand under my head and squinted in vain to make out his features.

I suddenly felt his warm lips kiss my forehead and trail down my face. When our lips met it was like our bodies instantly recognized each other. I felt at home in his arms and lovingly stroked his cheek. I moved and our legs got tangled – bare against his soft pajama pants. Edward placed his hand behind my knee and pulled it over his hip. Once again, I was overcome with the most desirable feeling. He trailed his hand up my thigh, past my underwear clad hip and over the shirt, stopping at my rib cage.

His lips left mine and made a new path of kisses down my neck to the hinge of my jaw. I gasped when he nipped lightly. He cautiously moved his hand to cup my breast and slowly massaged it. My nipple hardened as his thumb swept across causing me to groan in pleasure.

I could feel his every touch through the thin cotton of the t-shirt. Edward's hands explored my chest and gently skimmed across the valley between my breasts. His stroke was soft as he caressed back and forth. Another groan escaped as he thrust against me. He was hard and slid easily against me and in the back of my mind, cursed the underwear situation. I scratched my nails down his stomach. His own moans continued as I increased the pressure. I stopped at the waistband of his pajama pants and Edward stilled as I ran my fingers from hip to hip.

"Bel?" He rasped as he broke our kiss. His hand never left my breasts. My nipples were rock hard while he grazed them with his flattened palm.

"Oh my God, Edward," I breathed. My leg tightened around his hip, bringing him closer to me. I stroked the hair at the back of his head and closed my eyes.

"You like that, Love?" He asked huskily.

"You have no idea," I giggled. He had no idea how long it had been since I'd been touched like that. My arousal consumed me. He kissed me again, hard and his tongue invaded my mouth. He groaned as we continued to move together.

"I'm going to touch you, Baby," he whispered against my mouth and his fingers pulled at my underwear. In a knee-jerk reaction, I stiffened at that nickname. "What's wrong?" He asked in alarm and immediately stopped moving.

"Nothing," I whispered. I willed my mind to focus on Edward's touch. I begged the universe to grant me a do-over. "Kiss me." I leaned forward.

"Not until you tell me," he stated and pulled back a little. "You're completely tense."

I huffed and sat up away from him. Edward did the same. "Sorry, it's stupid." I rubbed my face. My memories of Jake seemed like a different lifetime and in one moment; Edward managed to bridge the past to the present. Jake was the last thing I ever wanted to think about. I had been his 'Baby'. I looked at Edward, or at least in the direction of him, since it was still dark. "Edward? Um, uh. Fuck." Now I just felt foolish.

"Are you alright?" He asked and reached for my hand. I squeezed it and instantly relaxed in our connection. With time I had come to appreciate the calmness I felt when Edward was around me. The sexual tension and buildup had dissipated thanks to my overactive head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be the mood-killer," I said softly. "I'm fine. I just…no one's called me 'baby' in so long."

"Oh, Isabella," Edward spoke sadly in silent understanding. "Come here." He scooted down on his back and brought me with him. His arms enveloped me as I rested on his bare chest. I took a deep breath and hugged him close. He began to lightly massage my scalp relaxing me even further. "It'll get better, Bella. I promise."

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered sleepily. In the dark of the night, I listened to his heart beating rhythmically as it lulled me to sleep.

"Good night, Love," he kissed the top of my head and heard him sigh.

I woke up the next morning on my stomach with Edward wrapped around me. His head rested on the back of my shoulder with an arm around my waist. From my position in bed, I faced the open balcony doors. With one eye, I peeked at the intense sunlight and had barely moved when I heard him.

"Go back to sleep," Edward's rough sleep induced voice mumbled.

I giggled. "How'd you know I was awake?"

I slowly flipped over on my back and Edward shifted to comfortably rest on my chest. He kept an arm around me and I began to run my fingers through his soft bronze locks, which stuck out in all directions. The red in his hair shone radiantly in the sunlit room. He even threw a leg over mine. "I could get used to this," he sighed. I laughed again.

"Your prickly half beard is tickling me," I told him.

"My half beard? Really," he started to run his chin up and down. His smirk was firmly in place and just laughed, laying my head back down on the pillow.

"What time is it?" I asked changing the subject.

"Please don't make me move," Edward answered. I shifted a little and was instantly stilled by his grip. "You can't move either."

"Edward!" I giggled. "What if it's three in the afternoon and everyone's looking for us?"

"No one's looking for us," he replied and yawned. "I told them to leave us alone. Go to sleep. Shh." His hand blindly stroked my face as if to shut my eyes. I giggled and pushed it away. He put his hand back around my waist.

"Did we have plans today?" I asked him after a moment. "It's our last full day." I very much enjoyed the bubble Edward and I created in the last two days.

"I don't know," he murmured. "Let's not waste any time then. Shh, sleep." He held on tighter.

"Ed-ward!" I whined on purpose. I started poking his side. His body jerked in response.

A low growl vibrated through him. My giggles quickly became squeals when his fingers began to tickle my sides.

"No fair!" I yelled between gasps. "Stop! Please!" Edward lifted his head and wickedly grinned. His eyes sparkled with mischief.

I untangled myself from his grip and unfortunately, rolled off the bed with the sheets entwined around me.

"Oh my God! Are you alright?" Edward peered down from above.

I was laughing so hard that I could only nod. Edward struggled to keep a straight face but failed miserably as a full on belly laugh escaped.

"So, are you going to help me up or what?" I pouted.

Edward leaned over the side and grasped my hand. I pulled him towards me and thanks to the sleekness of the sheets; he easily slid off and landed next to me with a thud. After that, our laughter could not be contained.

"Give me a kiss." He puckered his lips.

"No way!" I tried to scoot away from him and covered my mouth with my hand. "I haven't brushed my teeth yet."

"It doesn't matter," he moved closer. "Come here."

"No!" I started to get up and my foot got caught in the sheet.

Edward laughed. He pulled me up to his face and kissed me, gross morning breath and all.

"You're an ass," I said and kissed him again lightly.

"Maybe so," he smirked. He stood and I blatantly stared at his chest and arms. Edward cleared his throat and when I glanced up his smirk was still in place. "Oh, yeah?"

"Oh, shut up," I mock glared at him. He was putting the sheets and blankets that had fallen to the ground back on the bed. I got up and just watched the muscles in his back contract with each movement. I finally turned away and stretched with my arms above head. When I turned back, Edward's mouth hung open and his emerald eyes were on my bare legs. I completely forgot I only wore a t-shirt that barely went past my thighs. Instead of being embarrassed, like I felt on the inside, I played it up.

"Uh-huh," I raised an eyebrow. "See something you like, Cullen?" I winked at him and sauntered across the bedroom, swinging my hips, into the bathroom. I could have sworn he cursed under his breath.

After closing the door, I realized that I forgot some very important items – my clothes. I rolled my eyes, but before I could go back, a knock interrupted my thoughts.

"Missing anything?" His muffled voice filtered through.

"Wha-?" I cut myself off when I opened the door. Edward stood there with my dress and bra from the night before. He smiled crookedly at me. "Thanks."

I closed the door and quickly freshened up. I wanted to get back to my room, take a shower and put on some clean clothes. My hair was a tangled mess of frizz and waves. I twirled and knotted it into a bun. I then redressed and freed up the bathroom for him. Edward squeezed past me and I walked over to sit on the bed.

While waiting for him, I fished my phone out of the wristlet and turned it on. The time stated only eleven in the morning and two texts from Alice blinked at me - one from the night before and this morning.

_i'm in jas' room if you need anything. em's with rose_

_Received 6/5 1:45 a.m._

_good morning! meet us by the pool at 12_

_Received 6/6 10:45 a.m._

I quickly texted her back saying we'd be there and I went to gather the rest of my things. I walked out to the living room area and sat on the couch to wait for Edward. There was an opened bag of chips on the coffee table that I happily helped myself to. The suite was empty and the crunch of the chips broke the silence of the room. After about a handful, I put the bag down and walked out the main balcony doors.

"Oh my God," I whispered when I saw the view the boys had. Their room was situated in the middle of the resort and faced both the pool and beach. The sun reflected brightly off of the blue ocean water. It seemed everyone had the same idea and hit the beach. There were towels, bodies and umbrellas lining the coastline.

"Are you ready?" Edward's slightly raspy voice called out from the doorway. He was dressed in cargo shorts, a black 'Disrupt the Sky' band t-shirt and the same flip flops he wore the night before.

"Yup," I replied. "Alice texted me. She wants to meet at the pool around noon."

"Okay," he smiled. "Let me get my trunks and we'll go back to your room." He left me in the living room while he retrieved his stuff.

We exited the suite and made our way over to the east side of the resort to my room. Our hands brushed against each other and Edward grasped mine. It was then that I was struck with an idea – one that I had been thinking about for awhile.

"Hey, Edward?" I asked as we departed the elevator. He looked at me. "What do you think about going to the tattoo shop with me today?"

"Really?" He asked in surprise.

"Yes," I answered. "I think I want to get one."

"Do you know where to go?" He inquired.

"Yeah, I saw one in Lahaina. It's right past that giant Banyan tree in the center of town."

"How about this - do you want to hang out for a bit and head over or go there first?" He suggested. We had finally made it to my room and I let us in.

There wasn't anyone here and housekeeping had already cleaned up the room. Edward sat on the closed pullout couch and I walked over to my suitcase. I picked out some clean clothes and was ready to take a shower.

"Maybe we can drive over there first? See if someone's available?" I asked while I held my clothes.

"We can do that and grab lunch too?"

"Um, yes. I'm going to jump in the shower real quick. Here's the remote for the T.V. Can you tell Alice or Jasper our plans?"

"Sure," he said as he pulled out his phone. "Don't be nervous, Bel. I'll be with you. And you can always change your mind."

"Thanks," I told him. "I know. Okay. I'm showering now."

I closed the bathroom door and turned the water on. I sat on the closed toilet, while the water warmed up and reflected on the night before. Thinking about Edward sent tingles down my spine. I had such determination to let go of my past completely. I didn't want my subconscious dictating my reactions. Remembering the way he kissed me last night – I wanted that again and more and soon.

I jumped in the shower and quickly scrubbed myself clean. As tempted as I was to continue my fantasies about Edward, I wanted the real thing, who, I remembered was sitting just on the other side of the door. When I finished, I dried off, wrapped my hair up in a towel and got dressed. I threw on a pair of dark washed denim shorts and layered a black ribbed tank top over a gray one. I put my checkered red and white bikini on underneath.

I also applied light makeup, mainly eyeliner, mascara and some shimmer eye shadow. I unwrapped the towel from my hair and began to brush out the snarls. I walked out to find Edward watching the standard hotel channel.

He had switched from the couch and lounged on the bed. The sliding door had been opened and the fresh sea air filtered in. Edward glanced at me and with his fingers beckoned me over. He smiled and my insides melted with want.

I walked over with my brush and Edward sat up. "Sit." I sat in front of him, between his parted legs, my back to his front. He took the brush from me and slowly ran it through my wet tresses. With each tangle, he gently and quickly combed through them.

"God, I never knew this could be so relaxing," I sighed.

"Yeah?" He said in low voice. I nodded with my eyes closed. Edward pulled a portion of hair away from my neck and suddenly kissed me there. I squeaked in surprise and grabbed onto his thighs. Edward just chuckled. Only the sounds of the T.V. and brushstrokes could be heard. I tried to turn my head and look at him, but he kept shifting it forward. I huffed in exasperation.

"All done," he mocked.

"Thanks," I said flatly. I hopped up from the bed, only to have my left hand grabbed.

"Wait." Edward stopped me. He pulled me forward and kissed me deeply. "Don't be mad."

While I snorted in mock annoyance, my inner self squealed and was currently doing an embarrassing happy dance. His kisses always left me breathless. "Dammit, Cullen," I shook my head and smiled. I kissed him again.

"Ah, so I _am_ just that awesome," he smirked. I stuck my tongue out and hurried back to the bathroom to finish up my hair. I quickly added in some curling mousse and gathered my hair into a messy bun. I was going to let the warm weather dry it.

"Okay, Mr. Awesome," I said as I walked back out. "Shall we?" I pointed to the door. Edward jumped off the bed and I emptied out my wristlet for my I.D., debit card and phone. I stuffed them in my pockets. After I swiped on some lip gloss and put on my flat flip flops, I was ready. "I'm probably going to have to hit the ATM, right?"

"Yeah," he answered as we walked back to the elevator. "First, talk to the artist, get the artwork situated and he or she will give you a price. Then we can head over to the ATM while they draw it up."

"Okay," I drawled out. I was nervous and excited at the same time.

"Oh, I talked to Alice," Edward said. We had made it to the lobby. The car had already been pulled around. Edward saw my confused look. "Em had the ticket stub and had the valet get the car."

"That was nice. What did she say?" I asked. My phone buzzed in my pocket.

_have fun! just remember this is for you. love you. _

_Received 6/6 12:35 p.m._

I quickly texted Alice back a 'thanks' and that I'd call her when we got back. The valet had the passenger side door open and I hopped in. Edward was already buckled.

"That I need to make sure that you don't ink a 'Looney Tunes' character on your ass," he laughed.

"What?" I laughed along with him. "She's crazy."

"That's my cousin," he agreed. "So where am I going?"

"When you get to the main highway, make a right. It's past where the luau was last night," I told him as he pulled into traffic.

We made it to the middle of town and I directed him to a public parking lot. The tattoo shop was located on the second floor, above a souvenir store.

"Ready?" He asked as we walked together. I nodded.

The front door had a window with the shop's logo painted in red and black on it. It looked to be some sort of crest. We trudged up the wooden staircase and entered the main area of the shop. We were greeted to the sounds of needles and rock music. Posters of artwork covered the walls and to the right was a couch with a coffee table that was covered in photo albums.

"Aloha. Welcome to the Volterra Vault," a heavily tattooed and pierced girl greeted us. She was very petite, probably the same height as Alice, dressed in shorts and a sheer, flowy peasant top. Her long blonde hair had a shock of bright pink through it and was intricately pinned up in the front. Her arms were covered with a colorful pattern of designs. "I'm Jane. Do you have an appointment?"

"Um, hi," I stammered. "I'm Bella. This is Edward. No, I don't have an appointment. I was wondering if someone was available today?"

"Oh, ok. No worries. I'm sure there's someone's around," she said as she tugged on the viper bites in her bottom lip with her teeth. Jane pulled out what looked like a daily planner and began to peruse it. "Let's see. Aro's visiting the mainland this week. Cai is booked. Hm."

Edward and I looked at each other and shrugged. I leaned closer to him.

"Oh!" Jane exclaimed. "Gianna and Alec are free for the next couple of hours." She nodded and smiled.

"Okay," I replied.

"Have a seat," she led us to the red leather couch. "These are Alec's books and here's Gianna's. Take a look at their art. If you are interested, let me know and you can meet them."

"Thank you," I told her. She nodded and walked away to answer the ringing phone. "Alright, let's get to it, eh?"

"You take her book, I'll do his," Edward replied. He opened leather bound book. "Wow. This guy is good."

I peered over and saw complex and beautiful tattoos. Many were shaded in gray rather than color. There were portraits, symbols, and even landscapes. I opened Gianna's book and immediately my mind was drawn to her usage of lettering. She liked color and it showed – flowers, animals, tributes and names.

"I want her to do it," I told Edward.

"She does beautiful art," he commented.

"I'll be right back." I got up and walked back to the counter. "Excuse me, Jane?"

The blonde looked up from a sketch she was drawing. Her blue eyes sparkled and met mine. "Is Gianna available for a consult?" I asked her nervously as I didn't know the proper tattoo lingo.

"Sure!" She replied happily. "She's really talented. She apprenticed under Aro. He's the owner of the shop. He found her at one of those conventions some years back." She glanced at the clock on the wall. "She should be here in ten minutes. I'll text and let her know you're here. Bella, right?"

"Yeah, thanks," I walked back towards Edward.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yes, just nervous," I replied and pulled at a loose curl that had dried. I sat and crossed my legs. Edward sat back and put his arm on the back of the couch.

"It'll be fine. You'll be fine," he tried to convince me. "What do you want to get done?"

I continued to thumb through Gianna's work of art and studied the different styles of font. "Actually, I want it placed on my right wrist and it to say 'love'. In this script with shades of black and filled in with red. I'm not definite on adding color though." I pointed to the black shaded, loopy handwriting. Where the ink in the letters widened, it was beautifully shaded with skin color and black.

"I think that's beautiful, Bel," Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed my temple.

"It's just me," I answered. "Love has always been a big part of my life. It's one of the most important things to me and I want it again. I won't let some asshole dictate his feelings towards me or let him rip it from me." The tears pooled in my eyes as I spoke about my lost love and quest for it in the future.

Before we could continue our conversation, I heard the door open and in walked a woman with long black hair pulled into a sleek ponytail, carrying some sort of kit and messenger bag. Her skin was tanned from living on the island and she was tattooed heavily on one arm, her back and feet. She smiled at us and her eyes were jade in color. She wore a simple, green, spaghetti strapped jersey dress and black flip flops. She spoke with Jane before entering an adjoining room.

"You think that's her?" I whispered.

"Maybe," he said just as quietly.

When she returned, she walked straight towards us. "Hi there! I'm Gianna." She extended her hand to both of us. We both introduced ourselves. "Come on back and we'll see what you want to get."

We followed her to the room we saw her enter. She had an eclectic work area. The walls were painted in bright reds and yellows. Posters of original art and framed photos adorned the walls.

"Have a seat," she pointed to the two leather stools. I brought one of her albums to show her an idea of what I wanted to get. "So, who's getting work done today?"

"I am," I answered.

"Great!" She replied. "What are looking to do?"

I went into detail and repeated what I told Edward earlier. I pointed to the font and the shading she used. Gianna smiled and brought out a sketch pad while I talked to her.

"Okay, this is cool," she said when I finished. "It's probably going to be eighty bucks." I nodded and looked at Edward for affirmation that it was a decent price. He nodded. "Give me half an hour and I'll draw up a sketch for you."

"Fantastic!" I answered enthusiastically. "We'll be right back. I need to get to an ATM. Cash, right?"

"Yes," she answered. "Is this your first tat?

I nodded.

"That's awesome!" She exclaimed. "Welcome to the club!"

Edward and I left to find an ATM and took our time to take in the sights of the little town. I told Edward about the dinner the girls and I had the night he arrived and showed him some of the shops that had piqued my interest. He listened intently and asked me questions about the snorkel adventure we went on.

By the time we returned, I had almost forgot that needles were going to pierce my skin and it was going to hurt. Gianna greeted us and we followed her back to her room. My focus shifted from the tissue paper covered table and lone chair to her beautiful stencil. She captured everything I wanted in my little tattoo.

"It's perfect," I told her.

"Okay, good," Gianna said. "Let me make the transfer and we'll get started."

She got up and quickly transferred the stencil to the transfer sheet. She had me sit on the chair with my wrist palm up. Edward sat to my left.

"I'm going to apply the transfer to your wrist," she instructed. "Take a look. If it looks okay to you, we'll get started." I nodded as she prepped my wrist and applied the stencil. It was perfectly straight and beautiful even in its blue outline form. I had Edward double check it and he smiled when he saw it.

"Okay, I think it's good," I said quietly. My nerves took over and I felt like I couldn't speak.

"Sit here, Bella," Gianna instructed. "Place your wrist like this and just sit back and relax." She gunned the needle twice. I grabbed Edward's hand with my free one.

"Just relax," he whispered in my ear. I watched as the needles pierced my skin and immediately closed my eyes.

The physical pain was the most intense feeling I had ever experienced. I couldn't even begin to describe how much it hurt. I turned my face away and Edward moved closer. I buried my face in his shoulder and clenched my eyes. Edward tried to talk to me, but I couldn't find the words. I began to take breathes to calm myself and not cry out. Each time Gianna stopped to dip the needle into the ink, it was a blessing for the tiny break in the digging and pain.

Finally, she finished the outline, wiped it again and had me take a look. The black ink was dark and beautifully scripted. My eyes teared up as I looked upon the words permanently etched into my skin. Love will happen again. I had to believe it. This was for me and me alone. I looked at Edward whose expression held nothing but pride and something more than friendship. He kissed my forehead and I repositioned my wrist.

Gianna began the shading which caused me to cry out. I told her to continue and ignore my cries. The needles dug deeper into my skin and it felt like she was shoveling my skin. I held on tighter to Edward and he let me. I tried not to move the wrist Gianna was working on. I continued to retreat into my mind and break the bond between Jake and I. With each stab of the needle I said goodbye to him. I welcomed new possibilities – my future was wide open.

An hour later, the needle was silenced and Gianna cleaned up my new art. I kept my eyes closed until she was completely finished.

"Bella? You're all done," she let me know.

"Come on, Love," Edward spoke in my ear. "Take a look."

I opened my eyes and wiped the tears that escaped. My wrist was red from the actual tattooing and the ink from the finished image shone dark as midnight. Gianna kept the tattoo in shades of black with love written in scrolling lowercase cursive.

"Oh my God," I whispered. "Gianna, it's beautiful. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," she replied.

Edward pulled out his phone and took a picture of the finished ink. Gianna pulled camera out and took close up pictures of it.

"I'm going to be anonymously famous!" I told them. Edward and Gianna chuckled. Who knows, maybe it'll end up in their tattoo gallery online someday or even her album of art.

"Alright, let me wrap up your wrist and go over your aftercare instructions." She wrapped my wrist up in medical tape and cling wrap. She continued with how to care for the tattoo for the next couple of days.

When I was finished, I paid her the price she asked plus a generous tip for using her talent on me. I thanked her again and Edward and I left Volterra Vault. When we exited the shop, I took a breath of the fresh Maui air and looked up to the blue sky.

"How do you feel?" Edward asked as we made our way down the block towards the restaurants.

"Better," I answered honestly. "Thank you for going with me, Edward. That hurt so bad."

"Think you'll get another one?" He laughed.

"Um, right now? Not so much," I replied. "Six months from now, when I can't remember how it felt, we can revisit this issue."

"I'll hold you to it, Swany," he chuckled.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Cullen," I laughed and hugged his side.

After the last six months – with meeting Edward at my lowest and finding myself again, I looked into his bright green eyes, his knowing smile and finally made the connection - Jake was my past and Edward had become my right now.


	16. Tell Me What You Want, I'm All Ears

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama belongs to me.

Welcome back, lovelies! Welcome New Readers! Enjoy! There are so many of you reading this and I'm blown away by that! Thank you! The wait is over…plus a little somethin' somethin' of the lemon persuasion…

Previously from OotA, the gang attended a luau; Bella and Edward were a bit hammered and frisky. There was some hammock and in the dark action. She also got a tattoo!

**[Chapter 16: Tell Me What You Want, I'm All Ears]**

My resolve, after enduring a painful tattoo session, was strong. I felt like I could take on the world as I consciously bid my old relationship goodbye _again_. Yeah, that lasted about a day and a half. It seemed like the minute we returned home from Hawaii, the romantic bubble Edward and I created burst.

Edward threw himself back into a grueling work schedule. For the last three weeks, he had practically been living at the music store and any sort of communication between him and I was through infrequent phone calls and one sentence text messages. To help generate business, Edward came up with a great idea to sponsor summer concerts each night during July and August, aside from the normal weekend show schedule. With the help of Felix, they both worked tirelessly in booking musicians and bands while also re-training the staff for the new changes. Though Edward's schedule included long hours and no days off, mine pretty much stayed routine.

The excitement of a possible new relationship was starting to fade for me. I wasn't desperate for a boyfriend and I knew damn well that I certainly functioned quite well without one, but I missed him. By the time July began, I had seen Edward maybe twice and we still were never able to go on any sort of date. As his excuses, broken promises and apologies increased, those annoying little thoughts of doubt took root in the back of my mind. It started to feel like I constantly had déjà vu – like I'd done this before – with Jake. Even though, logically I knew there were no similarities between Jake and Edward, my heart panicked just the same. I couldn't help but compare their behavior.

On a rare Saturday that I had to work, those sorts of thoughts finally overwhelmed me. The first concert was set to kick-off the summer on Monday night. It seemed like Edward was running a staff meeting constantly to finalize details as the opening date approached. He, once again, made plans with me but just as quick, canceled them.

I was in the middle of lining my eye with a dark pencil when my cell chirped with a message. I jumped in excitement, knowing that Edward should be on his way to my place. _Finally_, I thought in anticipation. I looked in the mirror at my hair, which I had blown out and hung in loose curls towards my waist. My outfit was already laid out on the bed and I was pretty much ready to go.

I put the pencil down and read the text. My heart sank immediately.

_Hey, Bel. I'm sorry. Meeting running late. A problem came up. I'll make it up to you._

_Promise._

Received 7/6 7:15 p.m.

Needless to say, I did not text him back. Rather, I acted like a child and threw my cell phone at the wall. The phone landed under my bed in a couple of pieces and left it there. My heart was beating and I took in my reflection – flared nostrils, scrunched brows and one perfectly lined eye. I blinked back the tears and growled in frustration.

Since Alice was out with Jasper, the house was quiet sans the music playing from my iPod. I got up and washed my face. I was furious and I didn't know how to channel that anger. It was too early for bed and I was too amped up to relax. As I switched the bathroom light off, I caught sight of the Nyquil bottle. It was probably the one thing that could knock me out as I didn't feel like drowning my sorrows in alcohol. Nyquil had turned into a handy sleep aid for my sleepless nights when I agonized over Jake and that whore he shacked up with.

I generously poured the red syrup in the little cup and filled it to the brim. I knew I was acting immaturely, but I'd had it. I jumped into bed and into a deep sleep.

At some point, I vaguely registered a voice calling me.

"Bella?"

I grumbled an answer and silence responded back.

The next morning, I woke up in a haze from the effects of the cough medicine. I forced my eyes open and decided to get ready for work. I brushed out my hair, which miraculously still held the blowout from the night before. I played up my makeup to counter grumpiness and lined my eyes with shimmery eye shadow. I decided on a green, light weight jersey dress with flutter cap sleeves and a rounded neckline. It had an empire waist and stopped above my knees. I threw on a pair of flat, brown leather gladiator style sandals. The leather crisscrossed my foot and around my ankle. Lastly, I applied some shiny lip gloss. I took one final look in the mirror and worked up a smile, though it came out more like a grimace.

"Dammit," I muttered as I made my bed and found the pieces of my broken phone. When I opened the bedroom door, the apartment was quiet. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a note stuck to my door.

_Bella. I'm so sorry about last night. I came by as soon as I could. I tried your phone and it was off, but I couldn't leave it like that. There are no words that could convey how sorry I am for the last month. Thank you for being so understanding. Call me tomorrow. - Edward_

Of course he came by. I rolled my eyes as my vision blurred a little. I sniffled and folded up the letter. I didn't sign up for this. I just wanted a fucking break. Why did everything have to be so hard? Things were not going according to the expected plan – Jake fucked me over and Prince Charming was supposed to show up. How am I supposed to figure out this new, whatever Edward and I were doing, if I wasn't even given the chance? The letter crinkled under my sudden death grip.

Something made me glance at the time and I realized I needed to get going. I left a note for Alice, letting her know about my phone and to call me at work if she needed me. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door. Since it was early on a Saturday morning, the street traffic was minimal until I hit the Los Angeles Zoo and Autry Museum turn-off. When I parked, I noticed the many families with their kids and strollers heading out for a day of animal sight seeing.

With a sigh, I exited the car. I could already feel the heat of the day and knew it would probably be in the nineties by lunch time. With my sunglasses in place, I made my way to the administration offices, which were in the building adjacent to the museum entrance. There were already a couple of people working at their desks, but other than that, the offices were quiet.

Once I got situated, I pulled out my busted phone and attempted to put it back together. Aside from a few scratches, everything looked intact. I put the battery back in and waited for the screen to light up. Of course, nothing happened. Before panicking I walked over to Garrett's desk where he was working on a spreadsheet and asked if he had a phone charger I could borrow.

"You are a lifesaver!" I exclaimed when he handed me the cord.

"No worries, Isabella," the redheaded man replied as he pushed his glasses up his nose.

For the last ten years or so, Garrett had been working in the museum field as an archivist, with a specialization in Native American Studies. He was in his mid-thirties and very passionate about anything related to history. We met last summer when I first started my internship with the Autry.

"I think I killed my phone. I hope this works," I laughed.

"Well, try it and if not, maybe one of the IT guys could help you," he suggested.

"True, thanks again," I stated. "Are you staying through lunch today? Want to join me?"

"Yeah, that sounds great! Come get me when you're ready."

I left him not long after that and said a silent prayer when I plugged my phone into the charger. Again, nothing drastic happened – no flashing red lights of death. It didn't even turn on. The only indication that there was some life left in my phone was a flashing yellow light.

"What the hell does that mean?" I muttered to myself. I quickly typed in Google, 'blinking yellow light', and a million results popped up. I added the phone model to the keyword search and finally something relating to useful information explained it was the charging indicator. Well, if it didn't turn on, at least the battery's charged, I thought sarcastically.

I set to work after that and started cataloguing one of the exiting exhibits. I was going to have to do a little inventory down in the storage area later. This was my favorite part of my job. Located below the museum was a warehouse-like facility that was filled with artifacts, old furniture, tools, clothing and trinkets from the past. There were storage lockers and six long rectangular counters that spanned the length of the room. Laid out in perfect order on the table tops and in the drawers below, the smaller artifacts and accessories sat waiting to either be displayed or shipped to another museum. Each item had a tag which had the description of said item and a number. My task when it came time was to verify that the object was on the inventory manifest.

I loved when it was time for an exhibit to change. I felt like I got the inside scoop and an up close look at objects one would normally see behind glass. Seeing something as simple as a beaver skinned top hat or a pamphlet announcing the Gold Rush of 1848 made me wonder who did these things once belong to?

Normally, it was easy for me to get lost amongst all of those items, however, when three o'clock rolled around, I was going out of my mind. My frustration towards Edward and my broken phone had spiraled out of control. Would be arguments and conversations played out like a movie in my mind. With communication to my friends cut off, I called Alice from the desk phone in hopes she was around.

"Hello, Bella!" Alice's pleasant voice rang through.

"Hey, Al," I replied. "How are you today?"

"Just fine," she answered slowly. "How are you? Are you okay?"

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Me and Jas got home last night around midnight and found Edward pacing our front door. I guess someone opened the gate for him. He told me that he canceled on you again. I gave him the best hairy eyeball I could muster. He looked terrible. Just so tired. He got worried when you didn't text back. He said he tried to call you all night, but your phone was off.

"I let him in and all the lights were off, so I said I'd check to see if you were awake. I called your name and even shook you a little, but you were dead to the world. I told him that I'd tell you that he came by. He left a note on your door and took off not long after that."

"Dammit," I muttered. "I sort of smashed my phone. I'm not sure if I can fix it. I'm just so aggravated right now. I can't help it. When he canceled, I was in the middle of getting dressed and just flipped out. Alice, can you meet up and talk? We can go to the Griffith Observatory or something."

"Oh Bel, I'm sorry. I can't," she said. "I already have plans with Jasper in a little bit."

"Oh, alright," I replied softly. Since my frustration level had peaked, I was instantly pissed. She saw Jasper all of the time. Hell, it wasn't even three-fifteen yet. I didn't want to say anything rude, so I quickly tried to end our call. "Alright, well, um, I have to run. I'll see you later?"

"See you later," she answered me. "Call me if you need anything. Oh shit! Sorry - your phone."

'Yeah' I scoffed in my head. I forced a light laugh out. We hung up not long after that. I decided to go through with my impromptu plan of going to the Observatory, since it was close by. I was so annoyed not being able to call Edward and hurt that my best friend ditched me. I couldn't blame her though. Who wants to sit around to rehash my insecurities or talk about an ex who was dead to everyone except a small part of my heart?

After I gathered my belongings, I quickly jumped into my car and drove through Griffith Park. The winding, two lane road was clear of traffic as I drove past the deserted Greek Theatre. As I rounded the corner to the Observatory, the historic landmark seemed to rise up in the distance and I instantly thought of the climax of 'The Rocketeer' movie, where Billy Campbell had to rescue Jennifer Connelly from the evil Timothy Dalton.

Though the small parking lot was crowded with cars and a couple of tour buses, I managed to squeeze the Mini into a spot vacated by a van. I took my time walking to the entrance and stopped to glance at the 'Hollywood' sign in the distance. My thoughts were a jumbled mess as I tried to work through what was really bothering me. Why was I so worked up? Was it simply rejection or the feeling of abandonment? Did I not trust Edward enough? He was different from Jake in all respects, but was he? My rational side knew Edward wasn't purposely avoiding me, but it still hurt the same and brought back painful feelings of uncertainty. I mean, he did show up last night to talk to me. I was just hurt – plain and simple.

I wandered through the doors and glanced around my surroundings. I noticed that the Planetarium had a show in ten minutes so I bought a ticket. I made my way towards the west wing and exited through a door that led outside to the back of the museum. After a short wait in a roped off line, one of workers led our small group in and I found a seat in the last row away from everyone. Once I got settled, I leaned my head back against the comfortable headrest. I took a deep, cleansing breath and stared at the blank domed screen above me.

The lights dimmed and the screen lit up with the night sky and sparkling constellations. My eyes widened and I felt the insignificance of myself within the universe. After listening about man's relationship with the stars and the endlessness of the sky, I left the show with a headache. I waited until the auditorium emptied out before I exited to the main hall. I'd had enough reading about the solar system, so I decided to head outside to the back. I followed a walkway that extended the length of the building and took in the panoramic view of Los Angeles and its surrounding cities.

I closed my eyes and let the sun beat against my face. I welcomed the warmth of the late afternoon. A throat being cleared broke my concentration. I peeked with one eye at the offender and there she was, staring me with a concerned look.

"Hey, Rosalie," I greet her glumly.

"Hey yourself, Isabella," she smirked a little. "Full names today, eh? How bad is it?"

"Oh, Rose," I laughed lightly. She enveloped me in a hug that I desperately needed. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I got a call from…" she trailed off. She didn't need to explain anymore.

"Alice," we laughed when we spoke at the same time.

"Let's go sit at the café," Rosalie said as she led us to the side of the museum, down the outside stairs.

The bottom floor was the newest addition to the historic structure. We got in the line and grabbed some snacks and sodas. After we paid, I found us a table outside. I put my sunglasses back over my face to counter the glare from the sun. Rosalie sat across from me and crossed her long legs. She was dressed in loose, black cargo capris with strings hanging down and a fitted black t-shirt with the studio's logo imprinted over her heart. On her feet were black ballet flats. She had somehow intricately pinned up her long hair. There were only tufts of blond poking out.

"Did you come straight from work?" I asked as I bit into a Rice Krispies treat.

"I'm on lunch actually," she replied and took a sip of her soda. "The movie's being filmed over at Universal, in the back lot. We're supposed to go until after one tonight. I'm staying in one of hotels by the theme park for the next couple of days. So what's going on? Why doesn't your phone work?"

I sighed and sat straight up against the chair. I started twirling a strand of hair around my fingers. "Everything just suddenly seems too much."

Rosalie's silence encouraged me to continue. Once I started I couldn't stop. "I thought after we got back from the trip, everything would just fall into place – work, myself, Edward and it would be perfect. It obviously isn't going according to that plan and I'm frustrated. As you probably already know, last night, I threw a tantrum and chucked my phone at the wall. I just had it. You know I haven't really seen Edward since we returned?"

"Oh my God," Rosalie laughed. "I can totally picture you doing that!"

I playfully rolled my eyes. "Jeez, thank you very much."

"Wait a minute. What do you mean you haven't seen him since Hawaii?"

"Exactly what I said. I haven't spent any quality time with him. You were gone for the Fourth of July and Alice, Jasper, and I ended up at the Hollywood Bowl for fireworks. We speak and text frequently, but it's more like in passing," I sighed. I rested my elbow on the table and leaned my head against my hand. "We finally were going to have our 'date night' yesterday. I was getting ready when he texted me that he had to cancel."

"That is such bullshit," Rosalie exclaimed. "I know he's been busy. Em told me the work stuff that Edward's planned for the next few weeks. But that's so unlike him to just bail…oh fuck."

"What?" I sat up and our eyes locked.

"I feel like we've done this before, but with a different ass," she started to laugh. I finally caught on to her reference to Jake.

"It's true!" I agreed. "I just hate comparing the two of them. It makes me feel like I did six months ago."

"Bella, it's not the same," Rosalie said seriously. I quirked an eyebrow at her. "I get it, I do – the sudden disappearance, the 'I'm busy' excuses, the cancellations. His behavior may seem similar to that fucker, but look; you know Edward has a valid excuse. That store is his life right now and for him to make it a success, he has to live and breathe it. I may not agree with his method of juggling priorities, however, he probably should have sat you down and let you know what to expect.

"Every relationship – new or old – has to have communication. When Em and I first started dating, we were still in school and working but still together all of the time. When I finally made it with the studio a few years ago, our foundation was shaken. I had to start traveling the country for different projects. With me gone for weeks at a time, our relationship became strained. We visited each other when possible and Em got lucky when he was able to buy into that surf shop in Huntington. He didn't have to work the business from the ground up.

"Our lives started to veer away from each other. I'll never forget this. One weekend, I reached my breaking point and flew home from…Louisiana, I think it was. I went straight from the airport to his apartment. He was living with a couple of friends at the time. I double parked my car, ran up to this door and banged on it. He opened the door in his pajamas – it was two in the morning after all," she laughed at the memory. Rosalie looked lost in thought as she brushed her side bangs off her forehead.

"He looked like I'd woken him up because greeted me with a question. I said, 'you listen to me Emmett Brandon! I did not fly halfway across the country for you to greet me like that. I love you, you idiot. No matter what. We will make this work.' He grabbed me and just held me. He knew exactly what I was talking about and you know Em, he jokes around a lot, but I will never forget the look of relief on his face. I knew then, we would be okay. We spent the next two days talking about everything. Since then, we had always been able to work through whatever's come our way and our relationship is stronger than ever."

"Wow, Rose, I had no idea you guys went through that," I said incredulously.

"It wasn't like we broadcasted it. We got through it and we continue to be honest and open with each other. That's what you and Edward need to do. I know you haven't even defined your relationship – whether it's something more or just as friends, but you need to express the way you feel, as does he," she stated knowingly. "Tell him how the last three weeks have been for you. He knows what you went through with that fucker, but he may not understand your fears the way you do. Or maybe he does. You won't know until you talk to him," Rosalie paused. "Then you can fucking get laid already!"

I almost spit out my soda and just rolled my eyes. I placed one of my elbows on the table and leaned my head in my hand. "In all seriousness, I'm tired. I'm tired of doing everything and thinking of everything. It can't keep going like this. I agree with you – that we need to have a chat. I just think I need more reassurances than a normal person does."

"You are normal, Bella," Rosalie responded. "What you need is a normal relationship and to tell your head to shut the hell up. I know you've already had said argument with Fakeward." She winked at me.

I groaned at her nickname for the 'fake Edward' I had my fake argument with.

"You can't deny it, Bel," Rosalie laughed.

"Ha-fucking-ha," I sarcastically answered then laughed. "Yeah. Actually, there have only been two. Thank you very much." She was right. I knew this. I really did need to see Edward and have an actual conversation that went past, 'hi, how's your day?' pleasantries.

"Told ya," she snickered. "Now let me see your phone."

I handed it to her and she slipped the back off to reveal the battery. She removed it and counted to twenty. Once the battery was replaced, Rosalie dramatically set the phone on the table and waved her arm over it.

"Abracadabra," she chanted. I rolled my eyes.

Rosalie pressed the power button and the screen lit up with the notification of the phone updating itself.

"How'd you do that?" I exclaimed happily.

She smirked and waved her hands around. "I have the magic touch, duh."

"Apparently," I laughed. My home screen loaded and displayed a picture of my newly tattooed wrist. "Oh my God!"

There were five text messages and two voicemails. I could only guess who they could be from.

"You're welcome," Rosalie laughed as she took her own phone out and checked the time. "Well, I need to head back. Zombies just don't look pretty on their own!"

We stood and threw our trash out. I hugged her goodbye and sat back at the table to scroll through my messages. I was right about the texts and voicemails being from Edward. They were apologetic and him wanting to meet up as soon as possible. I grabbed my purse and got my things ready to leave and head home.

I felt better after my talk with Rosalie. She calmed me down. It was exactly what I had needed. I climbed the stairs and walked along the fence towards the parking lot. I texted a brief message to Edward to call me later. Almost immediately, I received one back.

_Look up._

Received 7/7 5:40 p.m.

Confused, I scanned the area. Straight ahead of me, sitting on a bench was Edward. My breath hitched and I burst into tears. I froze and couldn't will my body to move. He stood up and jogged towards me. I was suddenly engulfed in the tightest hug and I slowly wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Oh, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear. "Shh. Please don't cry."

I cried harder into his chest and he continued to hold me. After a few moments, my tears slowed and I inhaled the scent of his shirt.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"No," I mumbled into his chest and pulled away. I picked up my bag that I dropped and kept my eyes on the ground.

"Let's sit, please?" I slightly nodded in agreement. Edward took my hand and led us back to the bench he had been sitting on. I wiped my face and slowly breathed in and out in attempts to calm myself. I averted my eyes from his and glanced at the hills behind him.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

Filter-less Bella decided to rear her ugly head and I just blurted out an answer. "I panicked. I made myself panic. The sudden disappearance of you brought me back to earlier this year. I don't like feeling like that. Then I got mad at myself for even thinking that. I don't want to be that girl that can't function the minute a guy isn't with her. I know it wasn't on purpose, but that's how I feel – when it boils down to it, rejected." I glanced at him and clamped my mouth shut, embarrassed.

"Oh, Bel," Edward began and broke the silence. "I have to apologize for the last month. Actually, I _need_ to apologize. With the store schedule being so nuts right now and these concerts I've been arranging, I haven't really had a chance to do much else. I might as well have just moved into the store. "

I was dumbfounded by his urgent confession and immediately locked eyes with him. "Edward, I…"

"No, really," he interrupted me and ran his hand through his hair. "I should have been more considerate. I really didn't know how much work would be involved in putting on these summer shows and I have been completely consumed by it. When that happens I tend to shut the world out and focus on the end result with no nevermind to anyone else. When Felix and I figured out what we needed to for it to be a success, the excitement took over and I didn't stop to think who it would affect. Especially you, Bella."

"Where is this coming from?" I asked suddenly.

"I, uh," he struggled to answer. His brows furrowed in thought. "Last night. When I didn't hear from you after I canceled, I thought it was odd, because you _always_ write back to me." He half smiled at me. "Then when you wouldn't see me last night, I knew I had fucked up so bad."

"Oh, Edward," I whispered. He stood up and started pacing in front of me.

"I spoke with Alice today and then I hauled ass here when Rose found you. I probably broke a bunch of traffic laws, too. Anyway, you've been really patient when you didn't have to be. But you have to know, everything I've said to you in Hawaii and since have been nothing but the truth. I do want to see where this," he gestured between us, "goes. I don't want you to ever doubt my integrity or intentions."

"Sit, you're making me nervous," I told him. "Edward, listen. I appreciate you apologizing, but I feel like I owe you one as well."

Edward sat and quirked his face in question.

"Really," I continued. "Besides just blurting out all my thoughts, I let my imagination run wild and I may have made myself angrier than I was. Edward, I know how busy you've been. I do. I also appreciate how hard you've been working and I know it's going to continue to be like this for awhile. In my over thinking, the lines blurred between you and Jake, in how similar your behavior has been to his. It planted doubt and the fear of rejection. It just messed with everything."

"Bella, I would never disrespect you the way that dog did," he practically growled. "I wish you would have said something. Anything. I have no idea what goes on in that head of yours, but you know you can tell me anything."

"I know, but I don't know. You know?" I laughed lightly. I grabbed his hand and rested them on my leg. "This is so weird for me. As much as I think I know what I'm doing, I don't. We spent four days together on vacation and I loved it. Now that real life hits us in the face, it feels like it's all falling apart before it even begins." My eyes welled with tears and I blinked them back.

"It's not falling apart, Bell," Edward sighed. "It's not going to fall apart. If you're in, I'm in. Simple as that. We need to talk about the things that bother us. You have reservations; you have a fear you didn't know you had. I understand it. I'll definitely try to be more conscientious and when I'm not, feel free to put me in my place. Don't be afraid not to. I've seen your left hook!"

I laughed at him and nodded. "I'm glad you surprised me today. Thank you."

"Not uh, not so fast, Isabella," Edward smirked. "Tell me what happened to your phone."

I groaned and face palmed myself with my free hand. "I don't want to tell you," I mumbled.

He laughed at my embarrassment. "Come on." He stood up and took my hand. "Do you have time to grab some dinner tonight?"

"Sure, I'm game," I answered. We started walking towards the parking lot.

"Great! I'll follow you to your place and we'll go to the Italian place around the corner. How does that sound?" He said as he swung our intertwined hands back and forth.

"Perfect," I agreed. I led him to my car and as I clicked it unlocked, Edward stopped me. "What is it?"

"This." He stood in front of me and gently placed his hand on the side my neck. His thumb lightly stroked my face. He quickly leaned and kissed me. My eyes instinctively closed and I relaxed into his touch. He placed his other hand on the other side of my neck. His hands gently held me in place. I gripped the front of his black plaid button down. The kiss was gentle and unhurried as our lips moved in sync. Edward slowly pulled away and kissed my forehead. "God, you have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

I laughed. "You're not alone in that sentiment." I stroked his scruffy cheek with my finger. I gasped when he grabbed it and kissed the inside of my tattooed wrist.

"Shall we, Swany?" He laughed.

"We shall," I giggled. "I'll see you in fifteen?"

"Yes, ma'am," Edward answered.

He waited until I got in the car and exited the parking spot before heading over to where his truck was parked. I put my sunglasses on my head and felt a little lighter as I drove away. I rolled both windows down and the wind whipped my hair around. I blasted some music and sung all the way back to my apartment. I checked the time and it was past six-thirty. My stomach growled and let me know that my Rice Krispies treat wasn't enough.

When I pulled into my parking spot at the apartment, I texted Alice to let her know my phone worked. I pulled down the visor and saw that my makeup was a bit smudged and I needed to run a brush through my hair. As I locked the car, I called Edward.

"Hey," he answered.

"Hi. Can you drive slower?" I asked.

"What?"

"Can you drive slower?" I enunciated each syllable.

"Um, okay," he laughed. "May I ask why am I now driving five miles _under_ the speed limit in my bad ass truck?"

"Thank you and yes. I need to fix myself up," I said as seriously as I could without bursting into giggles.

"Bella," Edward laughed again. "You don't need to do that, you look beautiful, but I will do as you ask. I'll ring the gate when I get there."

"Great! See you then!" I hung up and swore I heard him chuckle.

I quickly walked into the apartment and cleaned up as best as I could under the time restraint. I brushed out my hair and sprayed on a little perfume. I checked myself out in the mirror as I heard the buzzer for the gate go off.

"Shit!" I cursed. I walked into the living room and pushed the button. "Yes?"

"Woman! Your time is up!" Edward's voice sounded tinny through the intercom. I giggled.

"Okay, okay. Give me five, I'll be right there," I replied. I finished up and made my way to the front of the complex.

I finally got a good look at Edward and he was dressed casually in jeans and black Vans. His black short sleeved plaid button down was worn unbuttoned over a black t-shirt. His hair had grown out a little since Hawaii but was still a crazy mess on his head. He still had his sideburns and it looked like he hadn't shaved in a couple of weeks based on the light scruff that adorned his face.

"Hey," he greeted me and reached for my hand.

"Hey, handsome," I smirked.

We walked down the tree lined street and I started asking him questions about his new venture in concert promoting.

"So, how's it really going with the summer concerts?" I looked at him as I asked.

"We're pretty much ready to go minus a few of the minor details," Edward answered. "Each night, at seven, there will be three sets. With Felix's help, I was able to recruit a variety of local musicians. It's really more like open mic night. Instead of charging a normal concert ticket price, it'll be a lot less. I'll have the bar set up like at the night of the opening and the musicians have access to a merch table if they want to sell their CDs or what have you. The sets aren't very long, about, maybe, twenty minutes and the main act of the night will have a forty-five minute one."

"That's impressive," I commented.

"It's coming along," he replied. "As you can imagine the last month has been non-stop planning, hiring extra employees, bartenders, scheduling potential acts and following a strict budget. If Felix wasn't with me on this project I don't know if I could have pulled it off in time."

I was impressed with the amount of thought and planning he put into his business. It just further engrained in my head that Edward wouldn't purposely hurt me and I shouldn't compare him to anyone, if I could help it. Now I just felt silly for even allowing negative thoughts into my head.

We rounded the corner and made our way down the busy boulevard towards the Italian restaurant. We passed the little shops and the independent movie theatre. There were a lot of people out and about on this warm summer evening. Edward and I continued to talk about the record store until we entered the restaurant.

The inside of the restaurant was cozy with the interior painted in reds and wood accents. Each table had a checkered patterned table cloth and shelves of wine bottles adorned the walls. We only waited a short time until we were led to our table. Each table was situated fairly close together. After Edward and I sat opposite of each other, the host handed us each a menu and left.

"Everything looks delicious," I said after perusing the menu. "I love eating here. They have the best fried mozzarella."

Edward grinned and shook his head.

"What?" I asked curious and put down my menu.

He also lowered his menu down and looked at me. "If we're ordering anything fried, you have to promise me that you will wait a second before you inhale hot, molten cheese."

"Excuse me," I arched an eyebrow. "Are you insinuating that I purposely burn myself?"

"Exactly, my point," he laughed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I picked up my menu once again and blocked the smirk Edward was currently sporting on his face.

"Ha!" He exclaimed and I jumped in surprise. "Please. I seem to remember an occasion at a diner with your father."

"One time," I huffed. "One time."

"I highly doubt that," he chuckled.

The waitress interrupted us before I could get him back with a brilliant retort. She brought us glasses of waters and I ordered a white wine while Edward got a beer. When she returned with our beverages, I took a large sip of mine.

"God, I needed that," I said under my breath.

"What can I get you?" Sasha, as her name tag read, asked.

"Bel?" Edward prompted.

"Oh!" I said surprised. I was focused on the way, 'Sasha', flipped her long, pale, almost white-blonde hair over her shoulder as she made eyes at Edward. "Yes, um, I'll have the Fettuccini Alfredo and an order of fried mozzarella."

"And you, handsome?" She purred. Wait, did she just purr? Who does that? I stifled a laugh as Edward slightly squirmed in his seat at the unwanted admirer.

"I'll have the Spaghetti Alla Salsiccia," he stated politely.

"Comin' right up," Sasha replied taking our menus and sashayed away. I burst out laughing at his discomfort and Edward gave me a pointed look.

"Wow, thanks for support, Babe," he took a pull from his beer bottle. I was laughing so hard that I almost didn't register his term of endearment.

"I'm sorry!" My laughter cut through my words. "What'd you want me to do, blow you in front of her?" I immediately threw my hand over my mouth in shock. Edward choked and spit his beer across the table at me. Needless to say, my lack of verbal filter was on a roll tonight. "I hope when the time comes, it does _not_ end like that!"

The silence lasted about fifteen seconds before our laughter could not be contained.

"Holy shit, that was classic," Edward gasped between his chuckles. I took another long gulp of my wine.

Our conversation stalled, but not uncomfortably, because every time we fell silent, one of us would start laughing which would set the other one off. Edward excused himself right before Sasha came back with the mozzarella.

"Yes!" I exclaimed quietly as I speared a little fried cheese ball.

"Hold on right there, missy," that velvet voice I've come to know so well interrupted. I stared at him with my fork in the air ready to take a bite. "What'd I tell you about waiting?"

"Aw," I pouted. "I was going to blow on it." I tried to keep a straight face.

"I think there's been enough blowing at this table tonight, Isabella," Edward said as he took my fork away from me. He leaned in close to my ear. "I'm not unopposed to changing locale to allow you freedom to blow all you want, though." He kissed me under my earlobe and sat back in his seat. He then proceeded to smirk and eat my cheese.

"You don't play fair, Cullen," I said quietly in my stunned state. "And you ate my cheese!"

"I think it's alright now," he smiled and his eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Give me back my fork, sir," I laughed. I reached out my left hand and he grabbed it. Edward lightly kissed my knuckles and handed it back to me. I smiled fondly at his gesture.

"You think you're so smooth, don't you?" I told him while my insides squealed in delight of him touching me. The lighting in the restaurant brought out Edward's handsome features. His green eyes shone bright and the shadows accentuated his strong jaw line. I wished I had been sitting closer so I could just run my finger along it.

"As butter," he replied as he took another bite of mozzarella. I shook my head and finally took my own bite.

"This is so good," I said.

Our food arrived not much later and we dug in hungrily. Dinner was quite enjoyable. I told Edward more about my job and what I had been working on for the last month or so with the new exhibit coming in. He seemed genuinely interested in my job. It was very refreshing.

At some point, the check was set on the table. We both reached for it, but Edward's swift hands grabbed for it for it.

"My treat," he explained.

"Thank you," I genuinely answered him.

"Now, before I pay this and we leave," Edward began. "I believe I was promised a story?"

"Excuse me?" I said incredulously. "I didn't promise any stories tonight."

"Please?" He batted his lashes obnoxiously at me.

"Dammit," I cursed. "You and your freakin' superpowers."

He grinned widely at and absentmindedly handed the waitress the check. He then proceeded to get comfortable, like a little kid getting ready for a bedtime story and placed his chin in both hands as his elbows sat on the table.

"Oh my God," I mock glared at him. I huffed and began the tale he's been waiting to hear since this afternoon. "Once upon a time, there was a lovely young woman, we'll call her Hissybella. She had an enormous crush on a guy, named, um, Rescueward. He always seemed to show up when Hissybella needed him. He was her hero so to speak." Edward chuckled at his nickname. I continued the tale. "One day after months of them not declaring their feelings, Rescueward followed Hissybella to an enchanted island. He proclaimed his 'like' for her and praised her strength in overcoming heartache.

"Rescueward finally kissed Hissybella and all seemed right with the world. However, like all fairytales, it wouldn't be a complete story without drama. On the eve of a very important date, Rescueward became Assward and canceled on fair Hissybella," Edward frowned at the turn of events, "through a text message. Hissybella, living up to her name, pelted her cell phone at an unsuspecting wall. Unfortunately for the phone, it broke. With no communication to the outside world, Hissybella fell into a deep sleep.

"The next day, Hissybella's friend, uh, Petunia, used her magic powers," I continued and Edward laughed at Rosalie's alter ego. "And fixed Hissybella's cell. Nice-Ass-ward," Edward lost it then, "surprised the lovely Hissybella, who again burst into tears, and had a very nice talk, resulting in an earth shattering kiss. The end."

Edward clapped politely and I pretended to take a bow.

"Wow, Bella," he chuckled. "You threw a tantrum?"

"That's what you got out of the story?" I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I acted like a ten year old and took it out on my phone."

"So you think I have a nice ass?" He wagged his eyes brows suggestively.

"Oh, jeez," I shook my head. "I'm never going live this down, am I?"

Sasha came back and Edward signed the bill. I gathered my things and Edward once again grabbed my hand as we left the restaurant.

"Hey, you're not the only one who likes my ass," he laughed. He handed me the receipt that Sasha wrote her phone number and a lipstick kiss.

"Whore," I muttered. I thrust the receipt back to him, which he, in turn, threw in the nearest trashcan.

He put his arm around my shoulder and we headed in the direction of the house.

"Jealousy becomes you Ms. Swan," Edward whispered in my ear.

I snorted. "Oh please." I stopped him on the sidewalk. "Edward?"

"Hm?" He answered.

I stood directly in front of him. "Will you just shut up and kiss me?"

Edward immediately leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. With one hand on my hip, he stroked my hair with the other. I wrapped my arms around his torso and moved them up to lightly stroke his shoulder blades. I moved my body as close to his as possible. As his tongue brushed against mine, I lightly moaned. I couldn't get enough. I gripped his back harder.

Edward pulled back slowly and kissed the end of my nose. "Come on, I think we should continue this behind closed doors." I nodded and again kissed me lightly. We took off at a faster pace back to my place.

When we reached the apartment, the lights were out and Alice wasn't back yet. We were both quiet as I led Edward by the hand to my room. Thankfully, earlier this morning I had cleaned up a bit. I closed the door behind me, while Edward sat on the bed and turned on the bedside lamp as well as my docked iPod. I flipped off the ceiling light. He had selected my 'Slow and Steady' setlist which included my favorite musicians and their slow songs. I could faintly hear Lifehouse playing and instantly relaxed into the rhythm.

Edward beckoned me to the bed and I slowly walked over and stood between his legs. He ran his hands slowly up and down the outside of my thighs and I thanked whoever gave me the idea to wear a dress today. I ran my hand through his soft hair and he closed his eyes. He pulled me close and just held me to him. His head rested against me and right below my chest. I moved my hand to the nape of his neck. I resisted the urge to straddle his lap and relished in his touch.

"I missed you, Baby," he whispered against my stomach. That endearment didn't bother me like it did in Hawaii and I think Edward noticed. "Come here."

He guided me to lay down on the bed against the pillows. He propped himself up on his elbow and gazed into my eyes. The green of his irises were so clear. "I'm going to say it until it's drilled in your head. 'Baby'," he kissed my neck. "Babe," he kissed right below my ear. "Baby," he repeated as he kissed along my jaw. "Babe," as his lips met mine again.

I sighed and ran my hand along his rib cage. I smiled at him when he pulled back. He cupped my cheek and got up. He took his shoes off and proceeded to unbuckle mine.

"You couldn't have just worn flip flops, huh?" He laughed.

"Where's the fun in that?" I laughed at him and propped myself up on both of my elbows.

"I'll show you fun, _Babe,_" he threw my sandals across the room and jumped back on my bed to hover over me.

I grasped his face with both of my hands and rubbed my thumbs over his cheeks. He slowly lowered himself and kissed me. Our mouths found their own rhythm and I peeled his plaid shirt off as his hands began to explore my body. Every sensation felt like heaven. I craved his hands. My own moved under his t-shirt and across his back. As our kissing intensified, I felt him harden against me and I moaned when he hit me in just the right spot. I brought my knee up and rested my foot on the mattress. This changed the angle minutely.

"Oh my God," I whispered against his mouth.

I gazed once again at Edward and his mouth left mine as he trailed kisses down my throat to my collarbone. One of his hands moved from my hip to my chest. He gently kneaded and massaged. I could feel my nipples harden from his touch and I wanted more. I moved to pull his t-shirt off but he stopped me.

"Ah, ah, ah," he warned and smirked. "Your turn."

I felt my face heat up in nervousness. He sat up and played with the hem of my dress which had ridden up some. He silently asked permission with his eyes and I nodded slowly. I closed my eyes as he continued to play with hem and torturously slow raised it inch by inch. "Watch me, Love," he whispered. He kissed my legs. My hands were resting by my ears as I saw and felt him kiss his way up. My dress was now by my hips and his mouth was so close to where I wanted him but he bypassed it and pushed it farther towards my waist. He stroked my black lacy boyshorts hip to hip and kissed along the waistband. I suddenly plunged my hands into his hair and lightly scratch his scalp. "God, you're beautiful, Bel."

My breath hitched as he placed a kiss directly on the seam of my underwear. I couldn't take the torture; I finally reached out and tugged at his shirt. Edward complied and he was now bare chested. It was even better than I remembered. He still had his tan and the phoenix tattoo stood out against it. I moved my hand and stroked his arm from shoulder to elbow in an almost reverent motion. He quickly kissed me hard but backed off just as fast to finish with my dress.

With both hands, he gripped my waist and continued to raise my dress passed my ribs and over my matching black lace bra. Instead of stopping, he coaxed the dress off and I was left lying in my bra and panties. "Touch me, Eddie," I whispered his nickname that I never used. I didn't have to ask twice. His hands were everywhere – my hips, my legs, my stomach, my breasts, my hair and his mouth followed.

Finally, I slowly sat up in mid kiss and I directed his hands to the clasp of the bra. He seemed to search my eyes for approval once again and in one motion, my bra was on the floor. Edward flipped us over and I was straddling his lap. I could feel him straining against his jeans and I moved minutely. He hissed at the sensation and I shuddered. His hands reached up and cupped each breast. His thumbs swept back and forth and my nipples hardened even further. "More," I lightly moaned. My senses were hyper aware of every touch, every lick, every suck and every nibble. I rocked against him and he groaned.

Edward leaned forward and while he kept one hand massaging my left breast, he began to kiss and sucked on the right. The more intense his hands got, the louder my groans became. My hips had a mind of their own and Edward's met mine each time. After a moment, he switched breasts and paid the same amount of attention he did the other. I threw my head back and ran both of my hands through my hair.

When I sat forward, Edward's lips were suddenly on mine. My chest was flush against his and everything felt more intense. "Your pants," I blurted out against his lips. I reached down and fumbled with his buckle. Edward kissed me and fell back against the pillow.

I unbuckled and began to unbutton his pants. I leaned forward and started kissing down his neck. His hands began brushing through my hair. As I kissed down his chest, I lightly ran my nails along his side and stomach. The muscles contracted under my touch. I continued my way down until I reached below his belly button. I lightly threaded my fingers through the trail of hair that led into his boxers. Instead of pulling his pants down, I moved back towards his face and began to kiss him more urgently. My hand continued to make its way into his boxers, through the patch of hair that led to his very hard dick. I grasped it with just enough pressure and ever so slowly, moved my hand up and down. He felt so smooth and hard at the same time. Edward groaned harder in my mouth. My panties felt soaked with want and I desperately wanted a release as I'm sure he did as well.

Our kissing became sloppier and our breathing became erratic. Edward's hands moved back to my breasts and it was my turn to groan. "God, that feels so good."

"Yeah?" He rasped. We both rolled slowly to our sides and faced each other.

I nodded. With my free hand, I guided Edward's hand towards my underwear and placed it where I needed it most. He applied pressure and I swore that I squeaked. At first he stroked me outside my panties, but the harder he stroked, I matched his pace. Suddenly his hand was gone and before I could miss it, he replaced his hands inside my underwear. I could feel my own slickness as two of his fingers slid easily against me.

"Fuuck, Eddie," I drawled. I ran my fingers over the head of his dick and felt the slickness of the precum spread.

"Tighter," he begged. I complied and as I slid easily down his shaft, I gently cupped his balls. "Faster." I changed paced as he asked.

Edward sort of sat up and I moved to accommodate to a better position. I gazed at his hooded eyelids as they closed and opened slowly. When I gripped him harder, two fingers plunged into me and I almost screamed out at the pleasure building. He knew exactly where to find all of my spots and I couldn't believe his talented fingers were being used on me. With his free hand, he grabbed my neck and attacked my mouth once again. Besides the background music, the only sounds in the room were our erratic breathing and groans of pleasure.

Finally, the buildup became too much and I came. I came hard. Edward soon followed with a similar intensity and I felt him pulse in my hand. He fell back down on his back and I dropped my head on his shoulder. I buried my face against his neck. Our hands released each other and I was fully aware of how warm we were. He enveloped me and kissed my forehead. We laid back down together and all could hear was our breaths and the beating of our hearts. I snuggled against his side and breathed in the masculine, musky smell of Edward. He quickly shed his jeans without jostling me.

"That was," I trailed off. I had no words.

"Yeah," Edward agreed. "Perfect."

I nodded minutely. Edward shifted a little and whispered in my ear. "I'm going to clean up real quick." I again sleepily nodded.

"There's some towels in the linen closet in the bathroom," I blindly pointed my hand in the general direction of the bathroom. He laughed lightly. When he got up, I immediately flipped over on my stomach.

I felt on cloud nine and we hadn't even had sex. I never thought anyone could make me feel the way Edward does, again. I smiled into the pillow. I adored him.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew was Edward was lightly poking me.

"Love," he whispered. I grunted in response. "Come on, let's get ready for bed."

"Hm?" I lifted my head and squinted. "What are you doing here? How long was out? Oh my God, I'm naked."

"Bella," he laughed. "I wasn't gone long and I like this look." He winked at me.

"Oh," I laughed with him and shook my head. I finally got my bearings. "You're going to stay?"

"If you'd like me to," he answered. He scratched his head in uncertainty.

"Yes, please," I replied honestly. "Point me in the right direction."

I quickly made my way to the bathroom and took care of business. My pajamas from this morning were neatly folded on the hamper and I quickly put them on. When I re-emerged, I realized Edward had nothing to sleep in, especially after what transpired. I stood in the doorway, staring at him in his dark blue plaid boxers. He was sitting on my bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him. He smiled at me and he looked content.

"What?" He asked. He had been going through my iPod.

"Um, give me a sec," I told him. He nodded and I left the room in search of my phone.

I quickly texted Alice to see if she had any of Jasper's clothes in her room that Edward could wear.

_well, well well. ;)_

Received 7/7 11:45 p.m.

_alice! seriously. _

Sent 7/7 11:46 p.m.

_i kid. i kid. yes, there are some clean pajama pants in the bottom dresser drawer._

_proud of you doll! xoxo_

Received 7/7 11:48 p.m.

I thanked her and quickly ran to her room and retrieved some striped cotton pants that I hoped would fit him. I went to the kitchen and grabbed two water bottles from the fridge. When I returned, Edward had returned the player to the docking station and kept it on the slow playlist.

"Where'd you go?" He asked.

"I thought you might be more comfortable in some clean clothes," I said quietly. I walked over to the bed and handed him the borrowed pants.

"Thanks," he replied and took them from me. "Wait, these aren't…" He looked at me with concern.

"Oh! Um, no," I quickly answered when I followed his trail of thinking. "They're Jasper's. He has a ton of clothes here. They're clean too."

"Great. Thank you." He got up and retreated to the bathroom again.

I pulled down the covers and threw the decorative pillows on the floor. The room was cool from the A/C running and I took the side closest to the wall. I sat cross-legged and quickly braided my hair while I waited for Edward to return.

When he walked back, he flipped off the light and got in bed. My heart was racing in anticipation. It felt so right for him to be here like this. No words were spoken for the moment until I felt a tug on my arm.

"Come here," Edward quietly commanded. As I moved to lie down, he grabbed my right wrist and placed a kiss over the ink.

I sighed and got very comfortable with my head on his chest. He stroked my back and I brought my hand up and lightly scratched the right side of his head.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Yeah?" I whispered back. My eyes were closed.

"Thank you for tonight," he continued to whisper. "When I woke up this morning, this was the last thing I thought would have happened. And I'm glad it worked out this way. There's nowhere I'd rather be right now."

"I'm glad too," I replied. "I really am sorry for putting my insecurities on you."

He sighed. "You need to stop apologizing. There's no need for that anymore."

"I know. I'm trying," I continued. "It just seems so hard."

"We'll figure it out," Edward replied. "It'll all work out the way it's supposed to. You have to try and not think so hard about everything."

"Yeah, you're right," I yawned quietly.

"Sleep, Baby," he kissed the top of my head.

I drifted off to sleep and woke to someone breathing softly in my hair. I was on my stomach facing the wall and when I turned my head. Edward's sleeping face greeted me. He was on his back with his hand on chest. For a few moments I just stared at his slightly parted lips, the length of his lashes, the straight bridge of his nose and the prominent layer of scruff. I resisted the urge to run my finger along his nose.

"Stop staring at me," Edward's sleep induced voice suddenly interrupted.

I quickly shoved my face in the pillow and started to snore obnoxiously. Edward just chuckled and shifted to pull me against him with my back to his chest. He loudly kissed my neck. "You can't fool me, Isabella Swan," he laughed. His voice was gravelly and I just giggled lightly.

"I'm sleeping. Shh," I whispered loudly.

I felt his hand leave my stomach to my side and his fingers dug in. I squealed.

"No! Please, Edward!" I gasped. I flipped on my back and he now hovered over me with both hands tickling my sides. My legs, arms and head jerked around. I glanced at him with his crazy bedhead sticking up all over with a wide grin as he tortured me.

"Edward, eh?" He smirked. His hands stilled, but his grip remained strong as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "What happened to 'Eddie'?"

My breath hitched and I stiffened as his hands made their way up and down my sides. His hands were warm on my body. He kissed my neck and suddenly he was gone. I vaguely heard the bathroom door shut.

"What the hell!" I said loudly. I swore I heard him chuckle through the door. I huffed against the pillow and smiled in spite of being left high and dry, or in this case, wanting and wet.

I heard the faucet running and now had the urge to pee. I wished he would hurry up. When he finally emerged, I decided that two could play that game. I walked up to him, very innocently and wrapped my arms around him. He complied immediately. I started to kiss his chest and made my way up to his neck where I nibbled on his ear lobe. I minutely rubbed against him, with the barest hint of friction.

"God, the things I could do to you, _Eddie,_" I whispered. He lightly moaned when I palmed his slight erection. His hands suddenly went to my ass and he gripped it. I kept my lips exploring his jaw while I moved my hand and pressed my whole body against him. God, it felt so good and I knew I was going to curse myself in a moment. Edward's breathing deepened and when his hands moved up my back, I backed up slowly. Edward looked at me with his heavy lidded eyes and I smirked. "Unfortunately, nature calls and all that." I patted his face and quickly ran into the bathroom locking the door.

Edward's face was priceless as he stood motionless with his jaw hanging open. Behind the door, I leaned up against his and calmed my breathing. I quickly finished up, brushed my teeth and hair. I threw it up in a pony tail. Before I unlocked the door, I tried to listen. I didn't hear anything, so I slowly pulled it open.

My room was empty and I wondered where he had gone to, since my place wasn't that big. As I walked out, I was picked up from behind and thrown on my bed. I gasped in surprise.

"Good morning, Love," Edward laughed. He deeply kissed me.

"Well, hello to you sir," I laughed.

"What do you say we go grab some breakfast?" He asked as he traced my cheek all the way down to my collarbone. I just nodded.

"Do you have time?" I wondered. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table, which read just after nine-thirty.

"Yeah, I have to head to the store in a bit, but I need to head home and change," he replied.

"Okay, let me change really quick," I told him as I sat up.

I went to my dresser and grabbed some black lounge cotton pants with a drawstring and a maroon tank top. I quickly scrounged up some underwear and a bra as well. Edward also picked up his clothes from the night before and threw on his black t-shirt.

When I re-emerged from the bathroom, Edward was dressed and he ran his hand through his hair. I looked in the closet for some flip flops and didn't even bother with makeup.

"Are you going commando, Mr. Cullen?" I smirked and crossed my arms over my chest.

He laughed and grabbed my hand. "Wouldn't you like to know, Ms. Swan?" I laughed at him. "Hey, do you have any eye drops?"

"Maybe," I replied and I went back to look in the medicine cabinet. I found some Visine and gave it to him.

"Thanks. My contacts are a bit dry," he said as he leaned his head back.

"Oh my God! Shit, you slept in your contacts?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's okay," he chuckled as he blinked dramatically.

He put the bottle on the dresser, took my hand and led us out to the living room. Edward carried his bundled up plaid shirt in his other hand.

After I locked up, we walked to his truck and he opened the passenger door for me.

"Where to?" He asked as he pulled away from the curb.

"Denny's!" I exclaimed. Edward just laughed and shook his head.

We arrived not too much later at the restaurant. The wait wasn't too bad since we seemed to have missed the early morning rush. Breakfast went by smoothly and we joked and carried on like we knew each other for years. All too soon, our time together was ending.

The drive back to my apartment was quiet and I was very full from my American Slam breakfast. I fought for the check, much to Edward's protests. I finally had to 'rock, paper, scissors' him for it. By the time we parked back at my place, Edward had to get going.

"Edward, you don't have to walk me to the door," I told him as I exited the truck.

"Yes, I do. Now, be quiet," he chided.

We made it down the walkway in no time and it was now time for goodbyes.

"Have a good day at work, dear," I mocked him.

"Just have dinner on the table when I get home, woman!" He shot back.

I hugged him. "Seriously, have a good day and I hope you get everything done for tomorrow night."

"Thank, Bel," he responded. He pulled back and the playfulness left his face. I looked at him and narrowed in my eyes. I tried to figure out what he wanted to say.

"What is it?" I finally asked.

"I just need to tell you one thing before I leave," he said quietly.

I nodded. "Do I need to sit down or something?"

"No," he laughed and relaxed a little.

"This isn't about chafing and not wearing underwear with jeans is it?"

"Isabella!" Edward exclaimed. "Let me get this out, already."

"Okay! Sorry," I replied. "Continue."

"Thanks so much." He rolled his eyes at me. "I can't leave without giving some reassurance for the both of us and I don't want secrets between each other. So here it goes," he took a breath. I held his hand. "I'm not yet asking you to be my girlfriend, but that's my intention."

"Oh, Edward," I sighed. I just kissed him. "I'm not answering that yet, but it will be my intention to when the time comes."

Edward grinned and kissed me once more. He told me he'd call me later and jogged back to the car. When he reached the gate, he jumped and kicked his heels together. I laughed and shook my head in disbelief. My heart felt ten times lighter than its ever felt. I turned to unlock the door when it swung open and revealed a very excited Alice.

"Oh my God!" She squealed.

She totally knew. That eavesdropper. I laughed when she launched herself at me in a hug.

"I know right?" I exclaimed. "Everything's going to be okay."

And this time I believed it.


	17. Give Me Hope in the Darkness

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama and romance belongs to me.

Welcome back, lovelies! Welcome New Readers! Enjoy! Thank you for reading!Thanks to vampiregurl for the review and an especially **special** **thanks** to dazzle eyes22 for your AWESOME reviews throughout the story!

Previously from OotA, Bella spooked herself with Edward's absence due to work. They hashed it out. Had an impromptu date and sleepover…among other activities. Once again, M rating put to good use here.

**[Chapter 17: Give Me Hope in the Darkness]**

"What are you smiling at, Bel?" Alice's voice caused me to shriek in surprise.

"Alice!" I exclaimed. "I have a hot curling iron next to my head." I pointed, mid curl, to the offending barrel.

"Oh stop." She waved her hand in dismissal. "Spill it, Swan."

"What does my smiling have to do with anything?" I asked. "I'm just doing my hair like I normally would."

"Uh-huh," she replied flatly and took the curling iron from me. "You're happy." She kept that sickening smirk on her face as she finished and pinned the curl to my head.

I nodded and smiled wider. "Maybe just a little."

Alice laughed happily and indicated with her hand to continue. I shook my head at her.

"Al, how many times do I have to tell this story?" I asked. "You were there, since the beginning."

"It doesn't get old! It's like reruns of the Golden Girls!"

"You're comparing my love life to that of four old ladies in Miami?"

"Well, now that you have one again. They were gettin' some. You're gettin' some. It all works out."

"Oh my God."

"Come on, Bel! Please?"

"Jesus, Alice," I sighed. "What else is there to say? The last two months have been the best I've had in a long time. Despite Eddie's busy schedule with all the shows, we both found time for both of us. He's been nothing but wonderful – dates, surprises, and my favorite – the sleepovers!" We both giggled at that.

"You called him 'Eddie'!" She squealed. "That's so cute!"

His nickname stuck with me after our first impromptu date. I was definitely falling hard for him. Our interests and attraction for each just seemed to grow with each day.

"Have you had the 'relationship' talk yet?" Alice continued.

"No," I answered. "We did talk about not seeing anyone else. Well more on his part because I have no interest in the general population of the male species."

"That's classic," she responded. "I'm so happy for you!"

I screamed. "Alice! Watch that fuckin' iron!" In her excitement, the large, one inch curling iron almost made contact with the side of my face. "I'd like to keep my eyebrows, thank you."

"Sorry, sorry," she replied. "You're almost done."

I looked at my reflection and there were pinned coils all around my head to set the curls. When it was time to comb it out, it will fall in large, flowy, loose curls. Alice's hair was already done, since it only takes what seems like five minutes to perfect her bob. She had blown it straight and flipped the ends out. It was then, when I noticed she had changed her bangs.

"Not to change subjects, but did you do something different to your hair?" I inquired.

"Oh this thing?" She pointed to the white blonde streaks that were weaved into her side bangs. "I just woke up and it was there. Must be the stress of working with my brother and launching the t-shirt line for fall."

"Shut up," I laughed. "I like it."

"I did it earlier today," Alice replied nonchalantly, like she had just changed her socks or something equally mundane. "What are you wearing tonight?"

"Um, I thought I'd go casual – jeans, shirt, Chucks. You know, the usual," I told her.

"Oh okay." She set the curling iron on the counter and unplugged it. "Done. I can't wait to see your hair down! You might need a wind machine following you around."

"Actually, the one I ordered is on my bed. It's purple," I said as serious as I could without laughing. Alice's giggles erupted and we burst into laughter.

"I'm going to change really quick and I want more stories when I come back." Her voice trailed as she left my room.

I pulled out my makeup I wanted to wear tonight – a dark, metallic gray eye pencil, matching gray shimmer eye shadow and mascara. I started with the concealer and foundation. On my desk, my phone pinged with a text message.

_Can't wait to see you, Love._

Received 9/4 6:30 p.m.

I giggled like a fourteen year old and texted him back. Tonight was the last concert for the summer series and Disrupt the Sky was the main band. I couldn't wait to see Felix, Charlotte, Maggie and Liam. Over the last couple of months, they sort of joined our little group and hung out with the six of us, as well as separately with Edward and I. I loved watching them perform their covers and couldn't wait to see what surprises they had in store for tonight.

Edward consumed my thoughts on an hourly basis – it was probably very unhealthy. Everything just felt new and exciting with him. His crazy copper-toned hair, long eyelashes that framed beautiful green eyes and his disarming smirk that was only for me created visuals that seemed to only be appropriate in the confines of my bedroom. Familiar tingles and butterflies erupted inside me as I thought of his talented fingers and lips. _Dammit,_ I thought. Just one thought about that boy and I became flustered. I needed to calm down and finish my makeup, so Alice and I could leave.

"Hey, you're a little flushed," Alice said to me as she sat across from me on the bed. I just finished smoothing out my base.

"I'm fine," I squeaked.

"Can't wait an hour, eh?" She laughed.

"Alice!" I gasped. I lightly touched my warm cheeks. "That's your cousin and it's not like that."

"What?" She asked innocently. "Please. I'd rather hear about you and Eddie than my brother and Rosalie any day. Wait, what do you mean 'it's not like that'?"

I rolled my eyes and began to heavily line my eyes with the pencil. Alice, who opted for khaki colored, herringbone cuffed shorts and a green, polka dotted sleeveless top that tied at the waist and flared out, right above her hips, began to apply her own makeup. I noticed her brown flats with a bow on the floor next to my bed.

"But all those looks – the subtle glances, the 'I'm thinking something dirty about you face', the constant touching, the giddiness, the love radiating off both of you. You haven't had sex with him?" She practically shrieked.

"Shh!" I shushed her. "Could you please not share my business with the class? You took note of how Edward and I look at each other?"

"Well, no," she replied in a quieter voice. "It just sounds more romantic that way. Like someone actually studied everything you two were doing at any given time. I mean, don't get me wrong. I love you, but I do have my boyfriend to stare at and make goo goo eyes to. Bella, in all seriousness, you two are so comfortable with each other – it just seemed natural to assume."

"Oh, um, thanks?" I answered. "I mean it's not like we haven't fooled around a little."

Alice furrowed her eyebrows in thought and rubbed her hands together. "Now we're getting to the good stuff!"

"Let me just say," I started out carefully. "Everything, and I mean everything, Edward does to me is phenomenal. That's it! I can't talk about this. I'm going to start laughing very inappropriately in five seconds."

"You know what they say, Bel," Alice replied between her giggles. "If you can't talk about sex, you're not mature enough to have it."

"Al, I don't think me not being able to talk about," my voice whispered, "penetration," and resumed to a normal level, "is an indication of my maturity."

"See you can't even say PENETRATION!" Alice howled. "I want you say this. Repeat after me – "His cock penetrated her dripping, wet pussy as he hungrily sucked on her heaving tits."

"What the fuck, Alice!" I gasped, horrified. "I am not saying that."

"Say it!" She replied loudly. "Pu-"

I jumped up and clamped hand over her mouth. "Do not finish that word." I could feel her smile under my hand and let go. "Are you almost ready to go?" I asked her as I went to put my makeup away. With one last look in the mirror, my dark eyes shimmered and my cheeks had a natural pink glow. I needed to finish with my hair and get dressed. I also needed to take my mind out of the gutter or we'd never get out of here.

"Yup," she answered laughing. "I'll go call Jas and see where he is." With that she skipped out of my room.

I ran over to my closet and grabbed some slightly flared, dark wash jeans, a red, black and white plaid fitted button down and a black spaghetti strapped tank top. With careful consideration, I picked out some deep red boyshorts and a simple black cotton bra that clasped in the front. I put everything, but the plaid shirt on and quickly unpinned my hair. Each curl fell past my shoulders in neat strands until I finger combed my hands through it. _Fingered._ _Edward's fingers. Edward's fingers in me. Bah! What is wrong with you, Swan? _I thought.

It's true that Edward and I hadn't had 'proper' sex yet. I think it was part me being scared, part him being a gentleman and part we'd only been dating a little over a month and a half. I was in no hurry, though we'd done plenty of other ways of exploring and believe me, I was not unsatisfied.

I thought back to the first night he invited me to his place for dinner and a movie. Well, by the end of the night, it really was just dinner.

"_What do you want me to bring?" I asked him over the phone._

"_Yourself," he replied succinctly._

"_I think that can be arranged, sir," I told him. "Can I bring cookies or something? Popcorn? Candy?"_

"_Love, those all seem to be pre-packaged items. Is this a clue to your cooking skills?" He laughed._

"_Hey!" I responded. "I would have at least purchased the cookies from the bakery. I mean, what kind of girl would I be if I brought Chips Ahoy or the ones those elves make?" I paused. "And my cooking skills are just fine, thank you very much. I'm alive, aren't I?"_

"_Oh, I'm sorry, baby," he baby-talked to me. "Thank you for buying the bakery cookies and not the ones from the actual cookie aisle. You really don't have to bring anything, just an overnight bag."_

"_Ooh," I cooed obnoxiously. "Cullen, are you kidnapping me for the night?"_

"_You know it!" He chuckled. "I will feed you and let you watch a movie on my T.V. and you can be introduced to the awesomeness of my bed."_

"_I don't know, Eddie. I'll have to see about this bed of yours. Nothing beats the clouds I sleep on every night."_

"_Aw, Bel," he groaned at my lame joke. "Seriously, a 'bed of clouds'? That's awful. Wah, wah,wah."_

"_Oh come on, that was clever!" I exclaimed._

"_Sure, baby. Whatever you say," he patronized me. For the past couple of weeks, Edward always made sure to call me 'babe' or 'baby'. It was like he was using psychology and making them his words – it was working. It no longer stung to hear him call me that. My body didn't instinctively tense. I now relished in everything he said and did for me. "I gotta run. Come by around six-ish?"_

"_Sure, honey," I replied. "Text me your address, okay?"_

"_Great! I'll see you later tonight! Bye!"_

"_Bye," I told him as I hung up the phone._

_I literally squealed and did mental happy dance. I was excited and nervous – a good nervous, like the first time you go on a roller coaster. I quickly put together a bag of clothes. I conveniently forgot to pack my pajamas as I'd started 'borrowing' Edward's comfy t-shirts. I took a quick shower, washed and shaved very important parts of my body and relaxed under the hot water._

_I blow dried my layered hair and dressed in burgundy lounge capris and a black spaghetti strapped tank. I grabbed the matching fitted hoodie and threw it on top of my overnight bag. After adding some light makeup, I checked the time and had to hit the market for some 'freshly baked' cookies._

_As I was locking up the house and up the Mini, I texted Alice and let her know my plans. I quickly made my way over to the closest grocery store and grabbed the first package of sugar cookies I saw. I checked my phone for Edward's address, entered it into the GPS and headed to Studio City. _

_Edward's street was vaguely familiar as I drove down the tree lined street. The last time I was on this side of town was the night of the Disrupt the Sky concert in May, when we picked him up. I found a parking spot across from his place. I grabbed my stuff, crossed the street and walked up the red clay stairs that led to his second floor apartment._

_The door opened before I had a chance to knock and Edward stood there with a grin on his face and a striped apron wrapped around his waist. He was clean shaven; his messy hair flopped over his forehead and wore olive green board shorts with a black t-shirt. He immediately freed up my hands by taking my overnight bag and grocery bag._

"_Hi, sweetheart." He kissed me quickly and a curious expression graced his face. He took the bag with cookies to his kitchen. The yummy kitchen smells wafted throughout the apartment and I was ready to eat whatever he was cooking._

"_Hey," I replied. I placed my purse on the couch and slipped off my flip flops. "What's with the face?" I called out to him._

_I glanced around Edward's home and was taken aback by how warm and inviting it was. His living room, dining room and kitchen all shared the open space. There were large windows opposite of each other – two large ones facing the street and four facing the inner courtyard of the complex. In the front part of the room, a dark brown microfiber couch was positioned in front of the huge television. That beautiful T.V. had to be at least sixty inches. _

_I walked over to his dining area, the wooden table matched well with the hardwood floors. Edward returned with a sneaky expression._

"_What?" I asked tentatively._

"_You ate a cookie," he accused me in a deep, monotone voice. The tone reminded me of when I would get in trouble with my dad._

"_What are you talking about?" I scoffed. Shit, he noticed, I thought. _

_Edward smirked at me. "Well, for one, there's a cookie missing from the package."_

"_That could happen," I began. "Sometimes they miscount and pack them wrong."_

"_I see," he replied as he inched closer to me. I had placed the table between us. "That might explain it, except the seal's broken."_

"_Maybe I just grabbed the first pack I saw," I stammered. Our dance around the dining room continued._

"_Yeah, I think that did not happen." He cornered me between the back of the kitchen counter and the dining room table. Edward towered over me and leaned down. His mouth was next to my ear. "Or, my love, you ate one and it left a definite sweetness on your lips."_

_My breath hitched and anticipated his kiss, but he abruptly pulled away._

"_Or, there may have been a little left over pink frosting in the corner of your mouth," he snickered and jumped away as I swatted his arm._

"_Ass," I muttered._

_Edward continued to laugh and went back to the kitchen. On the stove was a pot of boiling water and another one with a tomato sauce simmering. _

"_What are we having?" I asked as he carefully poured pasta into the water._

"_Spaghetti and meatballs," he replied. He reached in a cabinet next to the stove for a pan._

"_You're making everything?" I watched incredulously._

"_I am. Impressed?" He wagged his eyebrows at me. _

_I laughed and shook my head._

"_Do you want some wine while I cook the meatballs? Red okay?"_

"_Sure, that'd be great," I answered. "Where are the glasses?"_

_Edward pointed to the cabinets above the counter and he proceeded to uncork a wine bottle. _

"_Ah, this vintage, is a rare Zinfindel, from nineteen – ," he started. I just stared at him. "Who am I kidding, it's 'Two Buck Chuck'."_

_I burst out laughing at his ridiculous impersonation of a wine connoisseur. He poured us both a glass and we clinked them together in a toast. Edward then walked over to the fridge and grabbed hamburger meat and an egg. He set to work mixing in the breadcrumbs and seasoning that were already placed on the counter. He methodically began separating the large lump into bite sized meatballs._

"_Everything smells delicious," I told him. The pan sizzled with the heated olive oil. Edward began to cook the meatballs and they all browned beautifully. _

"_I'm starving," he replied._

_It was amazing watching him cook. I stood back and just watched him move from pot to pot. He would crinkle his brow in thought when sampling the sauce or briefly close his eyes as he tried a noodle. When the meatballs were almost done, he speared one onto a plate and gave it to me to try._

"_This is hot," he warned me. _

"_Oh come on!" I exclaimed._

_Edward held up his arms in surrender. "Just sayin', Babe."_

"_Ack," I mumbled. I blew on the meatball before taking a bite and avoided burning my mouth, like I normally did. "That only happens with cheese." I stuck my tongue out at him._

"_Aw, Bella. Try the sauce." He held up a wooden spoon to my lips._

"_Oh my God!" I cried out. The flavoring was intense and smooth – a perfect combination of ingredients. "This is all so good!"_

"_Yeah?" He asked. His grin widened when I shook my head yes and leaned in to kiss him._

"_Can I set the table?"_

"_Sure. The plates are in that cabinet," he pointed to the one next to where I found the wine glasses. "And the silverware's in the drawer over there."_

_I set the table and placed our wine glasses out as well. Edward walked out with our plates filled with the pasta, salad and a basket filled with garlic bread._

"_Wow, this all looks delicious," I gushed. _

"_Thanks," he humbly replied. We sat adjacent to each other and dug into our dinner. We talked about his surprising culinary skills and I learned his mom made him take a cooking course before going off to college. She wanted to make sure he could at least feed himself decently amongst the crap he would probably end up eating. With that one class, a hobby was born._

_I might have moaned appreciatively with each bite. At some point, Edward began to stare at me._

"_What? Do I have something on my face?" I asked as I wiped my mouth with a napkin._

"_Nothing. You're cute," he replied and smiled crookedly at me. _

"_Not as I stuff my face. No one is," I giggled._

_Edward's hand had made its way onto my thigh and I squeaked in surprise. His facial expression never changed. He continued to eat and stare. His hand began to inch higher and I had to stop his hand from wandering._

"_What are you doing?" I smirked at him. _

"_What are you talking about?" He acted surprised. _

"_You're a sneaky little bugger aren't you?" I took a sip of wine. _

"_Isabella, I'm shocked that you think I would be anything other than a gentleman," he feigned innocence. "Are you finished?" _

"_Uh-huh," I replied. "Yes, thank you."_

"_Do you want more?" _

"_Oh no, I couldn't. I'm stuffed." I got up as well. "Please let me help with cleaning up. It's the least I can do."_

"_No way," he argued. He cleared the table and poured me another glass of wine. "Have a seat and I'll join you in a sec."_

"_I'm just going sit on your counter. Right here," I told him as I hopped up on it. He quickly packed up the food in containers. I quietly sat cross-legged and drank my wine. Edward put the food away and began filling the dishwasher._

"_Bel-la," he groaned. "You can't just look as adorable as you do and sit right there, taunting me."_

"_You mean, like this, with my awesome lounge pants?" I uncrossed my legs and started to swing them back and forth. I twirled a strand of hair around my finger and quickly finished my drink. Edward dropped the pan and stood with his mouthing hanging open._

_He charged and immediately pressed his mouth against mine. His arms gripped my shoulders and he began to move them up and down. I instinctively pulled him closer and wrapped my legs around his waist. With my arms around his shoulders, I started to play with the back of his hair. His mouth molded perfectly with mine and I kissed him back fiercely. I felt him harden and my legs tightened further around him. I moved my hands down his sides and blindly untied the apron that he had kept around his waist._

_Edward's lips left mine and ventured down my neck. I moaned as his hips met mine again. Our breathing became labored as the friction hit us both in just the right spot. He ran his hand across my collarbone and followed with his lips. My hands strayed back to his soft hair and I leaned my head back against the cabinet. I felt my tank top being pulled down and my eyes closed when the warmth created by Edward's lips caressed the tops of my bra covered breasts. _

"_God, Baby," I whispered. "Oh my God!" I shrieked in surprise when Edward's thumb made contact with the seam of my pants._

"_Uh-huh?" He answered huskily._

_Edward smirked at me. His eyes darkened and he breathed heavily. I reached between us and palmed him. He grunted and kissed me again. Suddenly I was lifted and I buried my face in his neck. He continued to kiss my shoulder and I watched as we left the kitchen and made our way down a hallway. _

_Upon entering his bedroom, Edward tossed me gently onto his bed. I scooted up and propped myself on my elbows. He settled between my legs and gazed at me._

"_Welcome to my room," he stated. I giggled and ran my hand through his hair. Edward briefly closed his eyes and rested his forehead on my stomach._

"_It's just lovely," I commented absently. I glanced around his room and it was clean – no clothes or shoes on the floor. He did have an overstuffed, plush chair in the corner with a small pile of neatly folded clothes. There was a blue-gray, brown and cream color scheme in Edward's bedroom. I felt cocooned by the pillows and blankets on his dark wood, king sized bed. The comforter was chocolate brown, white and black with a pintuck and diamond shaped design woven into it. The wooden headboard extended past both sides of the bed frame and was bolted flush to the blue-gray accented wall. There were no drapes but thick, dark wooded blinds hung over the double doors that led to, what I believed was, a balcony. His matching dresser sat across from the foot of his bed and next to the door of the en suite bathroom. "Why do you have such a big ass bed?"_

"_Because it's awesome to sleep diagonally," he mumbled to my shirt. He lifted it some and began to kiss across my torso. "Now, shush, so I can ravage your enticing body." He continued to trail kisses in patterns and in a couple spots, sucked on a piece a skin, which I was sure would leave a mark. His mouth caused both pain and pleasure at the same time. It was quite overwhelming._

"_Oh God," I moaned quietly. _

"Bel!" Alice's voice, once again, surprised the shit out of me as I was pulled from the best part of that night. "Are you ready? Jasper's here!"

"Dammit," I cursed. I quickly looked in the mirror at my flushed face. I fanned myself quickly and sprayed my hair with hairspray. I grabbed a rubberband and put it on my wrist. I finally pulled on my shirt, buttoned it halfway and folded the sleeves above my elbows. "Yes, I'll be right there!" I hollered at the door.

I grabbed my black Chucks and socks and put everything on. With my well used packed overnight bag, I gathered the last of my things, took one last look in the mirror and left my room.

"Well, well, well," Alice laughed.

"What?" I looked down at myself.

"You got it bad, my dear," Alice laughed.

I huffed in annoyance. "Alice."

"I love this! Come on, Bel," she replied. "You totally deserve this. I love that I get to watch this happen!"

There was a knock at the door. I opened it and Jasper stood on the step.

"Help me," I pleaded with him as I greeted him with a hug. "She's trying to marry me off and have babies."

"What?" Jasper snorted. He was dressed casually in jeans, a simple black t-shirt with the band name 'Hot Water Music' imprinted in lowercase typewriter font across his chest and well worn, gray Chucks. He had grown his hair out over the summer and it had a wavy texture to it. "Alice, honey. You can't push your needs on other people."

"I'm not!" She cried in frustration.

"'Sides, your brother's getting married soon enough and you can fawn over him," he laughed.

"It's not the same!" Alice argued.

"Um, guys? I hate to interrupt, but we have to go," I interjected.

"You're right! Come on, Jas." She grabbed her purse and tugged on his sleeve. "Bella misses her man! Let's go! Let's go!" Jasper just smiled and let Alice lead.

"Oh jeez," I sighed. I gathered my things and followed them out. I locked up the apartment and we walked over to Jasper's Bronco.

The ride over to the Westside was filled with laughter and teasing as the three of us chatted the entire way. Jasper found a perfect spot just a block from Shoebox Records. We walked right up to the bouncer, Randall, who was fairly well known in the security business and went by the nickname 'Venom'. He stood well over six foot six inches and was a behemoth of a man with tattoos inked all over his body. His head was clean shaven and had a blonde goatee. One of his most prominent tattoos was the gruesome fang bite on his neck. It was bloody and it really looked like his throat had been shredded.

"You guys made it!" Venom bellowed as the three of us approached the doors.

"Hi, V," I greeted him. "How are the kids?"

"Hey, B," he snickered at our inside joke. "They're great. The twins are starting junior high next week."

"Oh wow," I replied. "Well good luck to you!"

"Yeah, thanks, kid," he laughed. "Come on in, guys. Jas, Alice." He exchanged pleasantries with them as we walked through.

Upon entering the store, we could see how packed the floor under the balcony stage was. As with every time I visited Edward at work, the fiber optic ceiling never failed to mesmerize me. The blues, purples and constellations shown brightly in the skyscape above. Up on the balcony stage, I made out Felix and Liam with his green hair, setting up their equipment.

"Hey Em! Rose!" Alice called out. Jasper and I followed her to where Emmett and Rosalie were talking to Charlotte and Maggie. As we made our way across the store, I shifted my eyes over the sea of people looking for Edward. I tried searching for his unmistakable hair color, but to no avail.

"My Ladylove has arrived!" Edward's voice suddenly bellowed above the background noise and music. I looked up, towards the stage and he grinned widely at me. I giggled at the unexpected attention.

He swung his jean clad leg over the wrought iron railing. I was both turned on and horrified as he proceeded to climb down one of the poles that supported the second story stage. Quickly, I cut through the crowd towards him.

"What the hell are you thinking?" I playfully slapped his shoulder. "You could have broken your neck!"

Edward's green eyes widened in surprise. "What? You didn't like my Tarzan impression? Me Eddie, You Bella." He beat his hands against his chest. The navy v-neck t-shirt fit him perfectly and I couldn't help but ogle him a bit. I felt like a tightly wound coil that just begged for some kind of release. Damn his effect on me!

"Just kiss me, jungle boy," I commanded and crossed my arms.

He chuckled as he pulled me against him and kissed me fiercely. An obnoxious wolf whistle interrupted us. I turned to glare at the offender – Emmett. "Hey, baby."

"Uh, hi," I replied in an Edward induced haze. I held onto the sides of his shirt and leaned my forehead on his chest.

"Come on," he chuckled and kissed me right under my ear. "Fel and Li are almost done setting up."

We walked over to our friends. I greeted everyone and Charlotte and Maggie excused themselves to start the show and climbed the spiral staircase that led up to the stage.

"Hey everyone!" Charlotte's slightly raspy voice yelled out to the crowd as she absentmindedly strummed her ruby red guitar. Her bright blue hair hung over her shoulder in a loose braid and her white bangs were parted to the side. She wore tight fitting jeans with an oversized, cut up; black 'Disrupt the Sky' t-shirt that sat off of her shoulder and knee high black leather boots. "We're so glad to be here tonight! Have you enjoyed the show so far tonight?"

The audience cheered positively. "Great!" She giggled. "Babe, you ready?" Felix slightly nodded his head and his face was devoid of emotion. He was in 'band mode' as Alice and I liked to tease him about. He wore his signature black t-shirt and jeans. His normal faux hawk had been slicked back and he winked at Charlotte as he took over the main microphone. "Alright!" She strummed her guitar again and counted Liam off. The drums immediately started with a steady beat alongside Charlotte and Felix's guitars. Maggie's low bass joined the harmony.

"I know what you're thinkin'. We were goin' down I can feel the sinkin'. But then I came around and everyone I've loved before flashed before my eyes. And nothin' mattered anymore I looked into the sky," Felix sang. His throaty voice harmonized perfectly with the other band members for this Foo Fighters cover.

"Hey, Eddie," Emmett called over. "We should totally start a band. We could do that." He pointed to the band.

Edward snorted. "Right, Em. Would you be the lead singer?"

"Of course," he replied seriously. Then proceeded to prance back and forth like Mick Jagger with his lips in a pout. Rosalie just shook her head.

"Em, I hate to break it to you, big brother, but you need to be able to carry a tune," Alice chipped in her two cents. "Like Felix."

"When the wheels come down!" Felix began the chorus. "When the wheels touch ground! And you feel like it's all over. There's another round for you."

"I can sing," Emmett insisted.

"Um, no Baby, you can't," Rosalie soothed him and rubbed his shoulder.

"I can prove that!" Alice laughed evilly.

"No way!" Edward laughed excitedly. Alice looked at him and Jasper and nodded.

"What?" Emmett asked. His eyes widened in realization. "Oh shit. Please tell me it's not what I think it is."

"Talent Show!" Jasper, Alice and Edward exclaimed together.

"The shenanigans never stop with you four, do they?" I laughed.

"Nope," Edward answered. "Especially if this one has access to a video camera."

Alice just grinned mischievously.

"Sis, please," Emmett pleaded. His face grew serious and used his best puppy dog blue eyes.

"Story, please," Rosalie requested. Emmett smacked his face.

"I'll tell it!" Jasper exclaimed. He cleared his throat obnoxiously. "A year after I moved to Forks and I became friends with Alice and some of the guys at school, we decided to go play some football at the high school, since the field was open. When we got there, we found Emmett and four of his friends acting out a dance routine and singing along to the stereo."

Emmett groaned. When I looked up at Edward, he was turning red from trying not to laugh. The live music had faded to the background from our laughter and storytelling.

"You weren't part of this were you?" I whispered to Edward.

"No," Edward squeaked and Emmett punched his shoulder.

"Not funny, fucker," he pouted.

"What grade were you in?" I asked Emmett.

"Tenth," he replied sullenly.

"What?" I laughed.

He huffed and Jasper continued. "So the five of them were all waving one of their arms over their heads in sync and Emmett was in front signing." Jasper started imitating the dance. Alice was howling with laughter and Emmett just stood there.

"Babe, what were you singing?" Rosalie asked. He just shook his head. Alice, Jasper and Edward all looked at each other.

"Hangin' Tough!" All three sang out and started waving their arms just like the New Kids video.

The five of us continued to laugh.

"Ha, ha, ha," Emmett mocked.

"But that wasn't the best part," Jasper gasped between laughs. "The day of the talent show, they're all on stage getting ready and Alice has her trusty camera, the music starts. The guys start their routine and Emmett starts singing and the inevitable happens."

"What?" I asked.

"There comes a time in every boy's life when Mother Nature makes her presence known."

"No!" Rosalie gasped.

"Yes! His voice cracked through the whole thing!" Edward chimed in. "It was like Alfalfa singing to Darla."

"Oh no!" I exclaimed.

"And my lovely sister captured it all on camera," Emmett replied and paused. "Then showed it to the entire family that same weekend."

"Alice!" I exclaimed.

"What?" She replied innocently. "I was just using my Christmas present. Besides, Edward had baseball practice that day. I had to capture this momentous occasion for him."

Emmett groaned. "I'm getting a drink."

With that Emmett walked away with Rosalie on his heels. That left the four of us cracking up. Edward's forehead was on my shoulder as he laughed uncontrollably. I patted his head and rolled my eyes.

"Honey, you can't let Emmett leave all mad," I told him with the straightest face I could muster.

"I'll be right back." He nodded and kissed my cheek. He then took a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.

When he walked away, I grabbed Alice and whispered, "I want to see that tape!"

We both burst into giggles. Emmett, Rosalie and Edward eventually made their way back to us with drinks and smiles on their faces. The night continued with more teasing and laughs. Emmett really wasn't mad and even recreated his infamous New Kids on the Block dance for us.

Edward and I stole kisses here and there. Nearing the end of Disrupt the Sky's set, his mood subtly changed. It was like his body was present but his mind was wandering.

"Are you okay?" I asked him as the music quieted once more between songs. We had all sort of split off into couples by this time.

He smiled down at me with his perfect smile that was just for me. "Yes, Love. You're staying tonight, yeah?"

"Mhm," I answered. "Did you still want me to?"

"Of course!" He answered urgently.

"Okay, good. I left my stuff in Jasper's truck," I told him.

Charlotte's voice interrupted our conversation. "It's our very last song for the night! You were an awesome crowd and we can't wait to see you again!"

The crowd applauded and our friends made their way back to us. We stood off to the side as the four band members brought stools to the front of the stage. Felix was the only one with an instrument – his acoustic guitar. A hush came over the crowd as Charlotte began to sing.

"May God bless and keep you always. May your wishes all come true," she sang a cappella with her soft and raspy voice. "May you always do for others and let others do for you. May you build a ladder to the stars and climb on every rung. May you stay forever young. Forever young, forever young. May you stay forever young."

As she started the second verse, Maggie joined in harmony and Felix strummed very softly. I'd never heard such an emotional and heart wrenching version of this Bob Dylan song before. Tears sprung in my eyes as Edward wrapped his arms around my shoulders. I leaned against him and closed my eyes. He made me feel safe. I held on to his arms and lightly scratched my nails along his forearms.

Clapping broke me out of the trance the song put me in. I quickly wiped the stray tear that had escaped and clapped. Charlotte, Felix, Liam and Maggie all took a bow. Charlotte said a few thank yous and the band began to pack up their gear.

"Bel? I'm going to grab your stuff from the truck," Jasper said. I nodded.

"Em and I are going to take off," Rosalie yawned. "This was fun. Thanks, Edward."

"I'm glad you could make it," he replied and gave her a quick hug. Rosalie made her way down the line and said her farewells. Emmett followed.

"Bye, Em," I hugged him tight. "Maybe we should have a karaoke night so you can redeem yourself."

"I think that's a great idea, Swan!" He laughed. "Have a great night with 'Wardo over there." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

"Don't be gross," I pushed him lightly.

Jasper returned shortly after with my bag. "Thanks, Jas."

"Ready, Jazzy?" Alice asked her boyfriend.

"Anytime you are, Darlin'," he kissed her cheek.

Our friends and the band took off while the other patrons were still exiting. Before Edward closed up with the staff, he led me to his office where I could wait for him. It was located on the second floor in the back. I sat on the couch in his sparse office and glanced around. It was a typical office - desk, couch, guest chairs and a bookshelf with picture frames displayed on it. Various concert posters hung on the beige painted walls.

I got up and took a closer look at his pictures. There was one of his parents; with Felix and the gang; his cousins and the last one was of us that had been taken in Hawaii at Haleakala. I smiled at our squinting faces. So much had changed in the last year and everything was different – in a good way.

When I made my way back to the couch, I got comfortable and waited for Edward. I must have snoozed because the next thing I knew, my name was being called.

"Hey, Love?" Edward whispered. He brushed his hand along my cheek.

"Hm?" I answered and opened my eyes. Edward had squatted and was eye level with me.

"Everyone's gone home," he continued. I reached out and ran my hands through his soft locks. He smiled tenderly at me. My breath hitched as he leaned in to kiss me. "Come on. I want to show you something." He helped me up and we exited his office. He had me lead down the darkened hallway towards the stage.

"Oh my God," I gasped when I came in full view of the store.

The overhead lights of the store were turned off and the darkest shades of blue illuminated the skyscape and stars sparkled in clusters. I walked out to the railing and gazed up into the seemingly endless sky. The sounds of a piano playing classical music filtered softly through the store's speakers.

"Wow, baby, it's beautiful," I whispered.

I heard Edward's footsteps and felt him wrap his arms around my waist. I turned in his grasp and met his kissable lips. They felt so soft and molded perfectly against mine. I nipped at his bottom one and ran my hands up his strong back. Our kissing deepened and our hands began to wander around both of our bodies. Slowly Edward pulled back and just gazed at me with an intense expression. I tried to smooth out the worry line that appeared between his furrowed eyebrows.

He smiled and took a deep breath. "I wanted to talk to you tonight."

"Wait, what?" My heart raced in panic and I dropped my hand. I backed away from him and his arms fell from my waist.

"No, baby, it's not bad. I swear," he said in a low voice and grabbed my hand. His eyes pleaded with me. "Come sit next to me." Edward sat down and put his legs through the spaces between the wide spaces between the vertical railings, so they could hang down. I slowly sat cross-legged and faced him. My knees pressed against his left thigh. He took my hand and placed it in my lap. I waited for Edward to gather his thoughts and I focused my gaze on the changing colors on the ceiling.

"Okay," he paused and I looked at him. "Isabella Swan, will you be my girlfriend? My one and only? My girl, Friday? My old lady? My boo? My chick? My woman…" he trailed off.

I giggled, which instantly calmed my nerves. "Why Mr. Cullen, are you asking me to go steady?"

He smirked and shrugged his shoulders innocently. "What can I say? I'm an only child. I don't play well with others. I also haven't had to ask someone to be my girlfriend since eleventh grade, so I'm not sure what protocol is when you're twenty-six. What do you say?"

I leapt forward and straddled his lap. Edward fell backwards and was now lying flat on his back. He drew his knees up and I leaned down to kiss him. I placed my both of my hands on his chest and he lifted his head a bit. Our lips met and our teeth clacked from my urgency to be close to him. After stealing a couple of kisses, I sat back up.

"Yes!" I exclaimed to the ceiling.

Edward fully sat up but kept me firmly planted in his lap. His hands gripped my waist as he looked up at me. His grin was so wide and I wrapped my around his shoulders, pulling him towards me. I kissed his forehead while his lips found my collarbone. I sighed in contentment.

"Thank you, Bella," he mumbled against my collarbone.

"No, Eddie. You made my summer," I whispered as I kept him in place. His hands left my sides and I could feel him unbuttoning my plaid shirt. "I never thought something like this would happen again."

His hands stilled and he nudged me just enough to grab my attention. "Don't think that way, Love. Everything happens when we're ready for them. If you hadn't met me, it would have been some other guy who would have deserved you. Now, that doesn't mean go looking for him."

"Stop," I whispered. "It's you Edward. I met you when I was supposed to. I believe that. Thank you for asking me to be your girl."

His hands ghosted up my sides as he slipped the shirt from my shoulders. I glanced up and the ceiling was smeared with beautiful shades of purple. Edward took the opportunity to kiss my throat, sending chills down to my toes. I looked back down at him and placed my hands on either side of his head. He moved his head and kissed each of my hands. I bent my face towards him for a kiss. His hands moved the straps off of my shoulders and brought the front of my tank down.

"Beautiful," he whispered. He kissed around my chest, above my bra. I was so distracted by his lips that when I felt the clasp of the bra snap and the cold air hit my nipples, I immediately covered myself.

"What about the cameras?" I whispered frantically.

"I like this," he huskily drawled out and ignored my question as he leaned forward to kiss me.

"Be serious," I said and leaned back.

Edward pulled me flush against his chest and ran his hands up my back. "I turned off the ones that pointed in this direction. We are," he kissed my shoulder, "utterly," he kissed my other shoulder, "alone." With that, in one swoop, he pulled off my tank and bra. His lips hungrily and lovingly attacked my breasts. They ached for his touch and his tongue made swirling paths. I panted quietly from the overwhelming sensations he created.

I blindly clawed at his shirt. Edward helped me relieve him of it and I reveled in feeling his smooth chest. I lightly ran my fingers through the soft chest hair and ghosted my nails across his nipples. He groaned and I suddenly felt the most delicious friction between my legs when I moved against Edward's lap.

Our close proximity and position allowed little space between us. He was hard and I desperately wanted to reach between us and run my hand down his prominent erection. As if reading my mind, Edward gently rolled us over and hovered over me. He grabbed my discarded shirt and placed it under my head. With a gentle smile, he continued to leave kisses down my jaw onto my neck. I brought my legs up and wrapped them low on his hips. He slowly rocked into me and I groaned embarrassingly loud as he caressed my breasts. His wonderful hands exerted the perfect amount of pressure around the soft skin. My senses were on fire and I slowly closed my eyes. His lips reverently paid homage to my exposed skin as he made his way lower down my body. He moved and I whimpered as he separated from me.

I peered down and was met with the top of his head. His hair tickled my stomach while he popped button of my pants. Edward left kisses across my waist. Suddenly, he pressed his thumb into the seam of my jeans. My legs released him immediately. I quickly kicked my shoes off.

"Oh, God," I gasped. Edward looked up and grinned knowingly.

Besides my heavy breathing, the sound of my zipper seemed to be the loudest noise in the room. I lifted my hips a bit as he pulled them down and left me in my underwear. He softly ran his hand up the outside of my thighs and stopped at the edge of my underwear. His eyes appeared almost black in the dim light and all I could do was nod at him to continue as he gently pushed my legs apart.

"My babe," Edward whispered right before he kissed where I wanted it most. I could feel just how wet Edward's action left me. I gasped and desperately wanted more. I had to restrain myself from grabbing his hands and plunging them into my underwear.

"Please," I pleaded. He lightly chuckled and nipped at my inner thigh. "Hey!"

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Come here," I commanded lowly. As he moved up to kiss me, my hands made a beeline for his pants. He kept himself perfectly aligned with my hips and bucked into me as we kissed fervently. "Right there." I reached between us and undid his jeans. Using my hands and feet, I slowly pushed them down his long legs. He had long ago abandoned his own shoes.

Edward's fingers mapped their way down my sides, keeping one hand on my chest while the other continued into my underwear. The minute his finger made contact, I moaned loudly. His lips were everywhere as his fingers slid agonizingly slow against the slickness and my body felt on fire. He took me by surprise when he finally plunged his fingers into me.

"Holy fucking shit!" I yelled against his mouth. My hands held tightly onto his shoulders.

Very subtly, Edward moved south and kissed me beneath my bellybutton. I placed my hands in his hair and tugged softly. He shifted positions and slowly peeled off my underwear. I didn't even have a chance to react at the loss of his fingers, when I felt his wet, warm mouth on me. His tongue swirled expertly in time with his fingers and I cried out. The pleasure I felt knew no bounds.

His other hand moved up my body and his thumb gently touched my open mouth. I sucked softly on the tip of his thumb and he brought the wet digit to my nipple, which puckered instantly. With this sensory overload, I placed one of my hands over his and let him lead. As he continued to lap and kiss, my breathing became labored and loud. He plunged two fingers back into me and I nearly lost it right then.

"Please, baby. Please," I groaned. "God." Suddenly my orgasm hit me like it's never hit me before. We'd never been this intimate before and it was perfect.

As my body shivered, Edward stopped and slowly broke our connection. He kissed my inner thigh again and swiftly moved up slamming his mouth to mine. In that moment, I had no care in the world. I kissed him with all I had and when his hardness hit my sensitive body, I squeaked. He rolled us over and I buried my face in his neck. He kissed the top of my head. I reached down to stroke him and he stopped my hand.

"It's okay, baby," he said.

I looked up and smiled mischievously. Kissing his neck, my hand made its way under his black boxers and gripped him. His eyes slowly closed as I spread the precum down the shaft and worked my hand. His lips closed into a tight line and his nostrils flared as he inhaled. I trailed kisses over his throat, up his chin and his lips relaxed when they met mine. One of his hands plunged into my hair.

I shifted, keeping my hands on his warm body and positioned myself. I quickly winked at Edward and wrapped my lips around the tip of his erection. Edward tightened his hand on me and he sat up a little. As I took him in deeper, his moans of pleasure increased. My hand applied the right amount of pressure around him. I lightly ran my nails down his abdomen, through the light trail of hair and felt Edward's body tense.

"Oh, God. So good," he rasped. "Almost, Babe. So close."

I cradled him in my hands and used my tongue against the head which sent Edward over the edge. When his orgasm subsided, I released him slowly and sat up. His chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath. He ran his hand over his face and grinned lazily at me. He gently pulled me to him.

"Wow. Just wow," he trailed off. He pushed my hair off my face and kissed me.

"Um," I paused and glanced around the dimly lit staged. "I'd say your stage has been, um, christened so to speak." I giggled when I realized we were both stark naked.

"You can't laugh at this critical moment," Edward tried to state seriously. "You can easily bruise a man's ego."

"Sir, you are naked," I giggled and poked his side. He jumped a little.

Edward sat up and narrowed his eyes. _Shit! _ I thought. He pounced and rolled us back over. I squealed when the cold floor hit my back and he positioned his hands on my sides.

"Eddie!" I gasped. "Please don't tickle me."

He chuckled and leaned closer to me. He complied and softly kissed my shoulder. "Come on, Love." My relief was instant.

"Underwear, please," I whispered. I watched Edward look around at our piles of clothes and located my red shorts. With as little movement as possible I put my underwear on. I reach over my head and felt around for my bra. Sitting up, I clasped my bra on and Edward pulled on his boxers.

I pulled my legs up and just watched him put his jeans on. He knelt down and gently lifted my inked wrist to his lips.

"Mine," he whispered and reverently kissed the font again.

His gesture warmed my heart and I just nodded. He stood up again and held his hand out to help me up. When I stood, Edward immediately enveloped me in a tight hug. He rested his head in the crook of my neck. We just stood there basking in the moment and the next step of our newly defined relationship.

Edward Cullen was now my boyfriend. Imaginary exclamation points appeared in my head. I started excitedly bouncing in his grasp and Edward chuckled.

"What?" He pulled back.

"You're my boyfriend!" I exclaimed. Edward just grinned crookedly, his eyes crinkling a little around the corners.

"That I am," he replied, picking up his shirt. I quickly put on my tank and as I bent to grab my jeans, he lightly smacked my ass.

"Hey!" I yelped.

"And as your boyfriend, I say it's time to go," he stated and laced his shoes. I rolled my eyes and finished getting dressed. "Woman, we have a sleepover to get to."

"Yes we do, Eddie," I agreed. "Yes we do."

We quickly cleaned ourselves and the stage up. Edward also returned the store to its original state for the next day. We held hands and I sat as close as possible to him in the truck. I looped my arm through his right one as he drove with his left hand.

The radio played softly in the background and we sat in comfortable silence. As I stared out the windshield a thought hit me. The constant dull ache of betrayal I usually felt deep within my chest was gone.

I gazed at the man beside me and realized that at some point in the last few weeks, my heart had finally made peace with my time with Jake Black. I snuggled deeper into Edward's side and smiled at the thought of moving forward.


	18. Nothing Comes in Between

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama and romance belongs to me.

Welcome back, kids! Welcome New Readers! Enjoy! Thank you for reading!Thanks to vampiregurl, Keyster and dazzle eyes22 for the reviews and recs on ADF!

References: song in chapter: Lifehouse – 'All That I'm Asking For' and my boy, Frank Turner is subtly mentioned…

This is it, darlings. Fade to black. Epilogue to follow.

**[Chapter 18: Nothing Comes in Between]**

"_Marry me," a faceless voice whispered. _

I frantically shot up and looked around the darkened room. Light from the courtyard filtered through the balcony shutters. I took three deep breaths in attempts to calm the pounding of my heart. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I just sat there.

The intensity of my dreams faded over the last few months. I closed my eyes and tried to picture the rest of it, but I only came up with the very last part - it wasn't Edward's voice in it. _Oh my God! _I thought. The disembodied voice had belonged to Jake. He hadn't been in my dreams since our breakup, so why now? I shivered with that realization. I peered at Edward's sleeping form and was met with his bare back which rose and fell with his soft, even breathing. My heart clenched in remembering how withdrawn he was last night.

"_Just go to sleep, Bella," he said tiredly._

"_I'm going home," I replied through my tears. "I'm sor-"_

"_Do not finish that sentence," he flatly retorted and rubbed his stubble covered jaw. "It's late. We'll talk about this tomorrow." With that he walked out of his bedroom and left me in tears standing at the foot of the bed._

_Edward didn't come to bed until the very late. I had pretended to be asleep and faced away from the bedroom door. I was very aware of his movement around the room and tightly shut my eyes. When the bed dipped with his weight, I felt him lean over and stroke my hair softly. It took all of my strength to keep a sob from escaping. He audibly sighed and shifted back to his side. _

Now, in the very early morning hours, as quietly as possible, I climbed out of bed and tip toed to the bathroom. I flipped the switch and immediately squinted from the blinding light. I just stood at the sink and debated on whether to sneak out or stay.

"Ugh," I whispered in disgust at my red, puffy eyes in mirror. "You are so stupid." I shook my head and ran the warm water in the sink.

After washing my face, I slipped back into the bedroom. Edward was still sound asleep. I grabbed his sweatshirt and the soft throw I had brought from my apartment last month. Silently, I walked out to the balcony, plopped down on one of the lounge chairs and stared upwards. Dawn barely cast its orange glow throughout night sky. The tears freely fell from my eyes and I didn't bother to wipe them.

Everything just seemed to go wrong yesterday and now this dream was the cherry on a fucked up sundae. I absolutely knew I didn't love Jake as I once did and didn't miss him just the same. Why did I let curiosity get the best of me? I truly cared about Edward's and my relationship. In more ways than one, I felt a sense of home with him that I had never felt with Jake – everything was just different. We still hadn't said the 'L' word or had sex yet, but I could clearly see them both in the near future. And now with one click of a mouse, I may have just fucked it all up. The thought of ever losing Edward brought me over the edge and I just broke down.

I buried my face in Edward's sweatshirt and pulled the blanket and my knees tighter against myself. My whole body shook with panic. Could we be over after one argument? I banished all thoughts and dreams of Jake and my heart ached for Edward alone.

I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around me. I vaguely registered quiet shushing, but I couldn't stop the tears, the shivering or the hyperventilating. He picked me up and brought me back into the darkened room. I was deposited onto the bed and placed under the covers. I curled inwardly and was spooned from behind. Edward ran his hand up and down my body and trying to warm me up.

"Oh, God, Bella," he whispered frantically. "How long were you out there?"

I couldn't talk. Talking would admit reality. This was all a horrific nightmare and all would be right when I really woke up. Edward slowly scratched my scalp and combed his fingers through my hair. That action alone calmed me significantly. The love poured out and in my fear of losing him, I turned quickly and hugged his body to me.

I began mumbling apologies and begged him not to leave me. His arms tightened around me.

"Oh, Baby," he said sadly. He sat us up and he gently wiped my face with his t-shirt. "What's wrong?"

"Everything," I hiccupped. I chanced a look at his face and a new round of tears fell from my eyes. "I don't want to break up and I know I acted horrible yesterday. I don't know why I even looked them up. But I shouldn't have and God, I'm just so sorry. Everything was so perfect and I ruined it."

"Isabella," Edward commanded. "We're not breaking up, Sweetheart."

"The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, Eddie," I whispered. I wanted to confess my true feelings. It was on the tip of my tongue. "I lov-loathe my actions from yesterday," I stuttered as I caught myself.

"Well seeing as we're awake now," he commented and rubbed his hand over his face. "It's probably the best time to talk about this. Living room or bed?"

"Bed," I replied quietly. "I'm cold." I pulled the sweatshirt sleeves over my hands.

"What were you doing out there?" He asked. Edward reached over and turned on the bedside lamp, though the morning sunlight streamed in. The soft light brightened the room without blinding us. He also placed his glasses on his face. I wanted to reach out and caress his face so badly.

I shifted my eyes from his green ones and couldn't bear to tell him about my dream. I picked at the blanket while I thought about my answer. "I can't sleep next to you and not touch you. The bed felt enormous last night and I woke up to a bad dream. I needed a moment, so I went to sit outside. What did you do last night?"

Edward looked worried and the space between his eyebrows creased. "I just sat on the couch and stewed. I felt bad that I basically ordered you to bed like a punished kid without actually discussing the problem."

"Tell me now," I said quietly.

"Bella, I was hurt that, one, you took your anger out on me; two, you wasted your energy looking up that asshole and for what?"

"I'm sor-" He cut me off.

"Love, you need to stop apologizing," Edward continued. "After a while, they just stop meaning anything. Just tell me one thing – what did you get out of it - seeing his life through their pictures? Did it make you feel better? Are you jealous? Do you wish that was you in those pictures? Maybe what could have been?"

I started crying again. "You're right." Edward's eyes widened in surprise and I realized what I just said. "No! I didn't mean it like that. I don't want him, Edward. I don't want that life or wish that I did. I love our relationship and friendship. I love _our_ life right now. You're right about me not getting anything out of it. I didn't. I don't have feelings for him anymore, not like I did. You pushed your way into my heart and there's no room left for anyone else.

"I guess it boils down to curiosity," I sniffed. "It was a complete lapse in judgment. You have to know that I haven't look them up in months and yesterday, I got it in my head that I wanted a peek. It became an itch that needed to be scratched, but it only brought out the hurt more and I felt worse afterwards. I blame myself for my shitty attitude. There's no excuse for it." I shrugged my shoulders in defeat.

"Look," he began. "I get it. I do and I'm very understanding with everything that concerns you – your past, your present and our future, but you need to fully let him go. That's their life now and we have ours."

"I know," I agreed. "I had no business looking up Jake and I certainly didn't expect any of it to affect me so. It's like I know it's all in the past and I _have _moved on - with you by my side. You don't realize that just the last couple of weeks have been so amazing to me and I look forward to seeing our relationship grow. But the minute I saw the wedding and baby pictures, I was brought back into that dark place of betrayal again. I should never have placed my insecurities on you again. I know you wouldn't hurt me like he did."

"Do you?" Edward questioning my trust in him shook me to the core. "Do you really know that? Because yesterday, you treated me with so much disdain that I couldn't breathe without you acting like I was committing a crime against humanity."

I untangled myself from the bed and began pacing in front of him. I felt like shit. "God, Edward," I told him. "Honestly, I just didn't think – I just acted. Period. I saw the pictures and – you know what? I have no excuse." I burst into tears again and just stood there with my arms crossed over my chest. "I do," I gasped between breaths, "trust you. You're one of the best people I know. I feel lucky just to know you." I wiped the sleeve of the sweatshirt across my face. "Aw, fuck," I said when I realized it was it wasn't my own clothing. "I can't even wipe snot right."

"Baby, come here," Edward called to me. He was up on his knees facing me from the bed.

I shook my head. "No, I don't deserve you," I blurted out.

"Bella, come here," he said with a little more force. I didn't budge.

Suddenly hands grabbed the front of the sweatshirt and I tumbled back on to the bed cradled in Edward's arms. He pushed my hair from my face and kissed me forcefully.

"Listen, we'll be fine," he stated. "Remember, communication? We talked about this."

"I know," I whispered against his neck. His hands held my waist under the sweatshirt and his fingers made lazy circles against my back.

"Bella, I trust you with my life and I want you to feel the same, but I can't force that. Jake cannot be a part of our relationship. I get that he was a huge part of your life and who you became, but that's it. He's not your friend, he's not your boyfriend and he certainly has no place in your future. All he's done is hurt you. You do deserve me. I want you. I can easily picture my future. It's with you – married, kids, vacations, pets, arguments," he emphasized the last one and bopped my nose, making me giggle softly, "romance." Edward nuzzled my neck and kissed me softly.

"Really?" I asked and cleared my throat. "You concretely see a future with me? With kids?" I squeaked out the last part. _Married? Oh my God, _I thought to myself. How could he be so calm in talking about all of that?

"Of course," he replied simply. "Don't you? Even in the abstract?"

I shifted a little to sit up and Edward accommodated the movement. "Um." I watched Edward wait in anticipation. His eyes were so clear and wide. His face lost the smile he had just seconds before. I placed my hand on his stubble covered cheek. "I do," I whispered truthfully. "Sometimes. Maybe not the kid part, but the 'you' part. Definitely."

"You don't want 'Bella clones'?"

"I don't think the world is ready for another me," I answered laughing. "But seriously, I haven't really given it that much thought. It's not no." Edward visibly relaxed his shoulders. "Look, can we table that for a different discussion. I'd like to get through one major issue at a time."

"You're right, I'm getting sidetracked," he laughed lightly.

My heart pounded with his declaration of our future together. Recently and secretly, I'd caught myself visualizing 'future us'. I can't believe I was stupid enough to want to see Jake's life. And for what? Hoping it had fallen apart? That he was miserable and I was not? It all backfired on me. He and Crazy were fine. Their wedding looked picture perfect – white dress, bridesmaids, tuxedos, smiles and a dressed up, chubby little boy with his father's dark eyes in the arms of his grandfather, who stood proudly in the family photos. As usual, Edward was right, when it came to his relationship advice – I was really only hurting myself and our new relationship.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed suddenly. I glanced around the room in thought. "Maybe this was supposed to happen this way. I mean, it's not like I felt like I was missing something. I know I don't love him at all. I'm actually kind of relieved it wasn't me," I rambled.

"Wait, what?" Edward asked, confused.

"Look," I began and grabbed his hand. "The last few months, as we've grown closer and more, you know," I suggestively wagged my eyebrows at him making him laugh. "The pain and empty feeling I carried with me seemed to lessen as time passed. It wasn't until that night at the store when you asked me to be your girlfriend that I didn't feel that ache anymore. It was the first time I consciously noticed it was gone."

"Okay. I don't quite follow," he replied.

"It's always been two steps forward, one step back with me, right?" I asked making the connections between my head and my heart. He seemed pensive and nodded in agreement. "What if this was the last set back? I think I got more upset at the idea of his life without me, rather than the reality of 'thank, God, it wasn't me'. I'm actually relieved it wasn't me - that I never got pregnant and living a life built around illusions and lies. Instead of dwelling on this, I focused only on the hurt. Then this morning, I realized it would be a lot worse if you weren't in my life. I also don't want you to have doubts about my feelings for. I like you."

"Aw, gee. Thanks, kid," he very lightly mock punched my chin. I just rolled my eyes and smiled. Edward moved to sit against the headboard. "So, let me get this straight – you're glad their life isn't yours and never will be. And you like me. Huh. I say this was a very good discussion. I am sorry for the way I spoke to you last night. It was uncalled for."

I moved and straddled Edward's lap. He held my hips in place as I pulled my hair into a haphazard bun. "I'm sorry too. For everything." I paused and raised an eyebrow. "Sooo, it is make up time yet?" I slowly shifted my hips against his and Edward hissed lowly.

"I think so," his velvety voice answered as he leaned forward to kiss me. "I'm proud of your new epiphany. I'll always be here for you." His hands lifted my shirt with the sweatshirt inch by inch and softly dragged his fingers against my sides, sending chills throughout my body. I'd have to say, if this is how our fights get resolved, I may start a new one just for moments like this.

The following week, Alice called me as I was leaving work to discuss the party plans for my impending twenty-third birthday. Though it was technically tomorrow, we still didn't know what we were going to do on Saturday night.

"I don't know, Al," I said as I placed the phone between my shoulder and ear while I tried to open the car door. "This project at work has me swamped. I'm seeing basket weaving patterns in my sleep!"

She laughed and I heard a distinct thud in the background. "I'm fine!" She yelled unnecessarily. I joined in her laughter.

"Did you just fall?" I asked as I buckled my seat. The car's Bluetooth kicked in when I started the engine.

"No, I dropped a can of soda and thankfully, it didn't explode," she answered. "Maybe I'll give it to Em when he comes in."

"Ha! I wish I could see his face," I replied laughing. "So back to the importantnance of my birthday."

"Did you just say 'importantnance'? Is that even a word?" Alice giggled.

"What? Maybe. What are you, the alphabet police?" I retorted.

"Uh-huh, I see. I love the superior college education you got!" She continued to razz me.

"Please don't get me started on school. I have to start applying to grad school soon," I groaned. To do anything in the History field, an advanced degree was needed, preferably a PhD, but I couldn't even fathom being in school that long. All it meant to me was more classes and endless papers.

"Okay, okay," she relented. "Let's see about your birthday. Maybe we can do dinner at our place, like appetizers and stuff and go somewhere after? How many people do you want to invite?"

"I like that idea," I agreed. I pulled onto the boulevard to our apartment. "Why don't we keep it on the smaller side? Like, you, me, Eddie, Jas, Em and Rose at our place and we can invite some of my other friends to wherever we end up? We can, maybe, rent a car or something for the six of us, so no one has to be the designated driver this time."

"That's a great idea! Okay, I have something to work with now!" Alice exclaimed. "Let me finish up here and I'll call you in five. You'll probably be gone by the time I get out of here. Got to love the 405 freeway during rush hour." Alice started commuting to Huntington Beach a couple days a week to help Emmett out at the store and for the most part that freeway was a parking lot, no matter what time of day.

"That works," I told her as I pulled into my parking spot. "I have to get ready for dinner. Edward wanted to do a special birthday dinner thing. He's been acting so weird the last week or so."

"How do you mean?" Alice asked.

"Well, a little distant for one," I replied seriously. "I know we were fine after our fight. Well he said we were okay, but I can't help think he's pulling back. I don't know."

"Bella, you need to stop thinking the worst. Maybe work's been busy?"

"It didn't seem like it. He works long hours anyway, so who knows. Anyway, I need to get ready, so call me in a little bit. I'm going to jump in the shower."

"Okay! Bye!"

"Bye!"

I walked into the apartment and immediately headed to the shower. I tried to dismiss Edward's behavior, but it sat there mocking me from the back of my mind. I scrubbed my skin a little harder than necessary as my thoughts ran rampant under the warm water.

After drying off, I began to blow out my hair. After it was dry, I curled the layers with the large barreled curling iron. I had texted Edward earlier asking him what I should wear and he simply said casual - which of course, wasn't helpful. He then amended his answer with a 'dress'. For late September, the evening was unseasonably warm, so I grabbed a navy and white polka dotted, v-neck pleated chiffon dress that had a built-in slip and tied at the waist. It fell at my mid-thigh with sheer, bell-shaped sleeves. My flat, black, braided leather sandals went perfect with the outfit. Once I figured out my clothes and hair, I moved on to makeup. I decided to go with neutrals, browns and shimmery eye shadow with a very high gloss lip stain.

When I was completely ready, I pulled out my overnight bag and threw in some pajamas, toiletries, and clothes for tomorrow, since I decided to play hooky, in honor of my birthday and all. As I packed, my cell rang.

"Hello?" I asked, even though I did have caller I.D. and knew it was Edward.

"Hello, Birthday Girl!" He replied happily. I smiled.

"Can I help you, Sir?" I asked. I looked around my room for any last minute items.

"Are you ready? When are you coming over? What time are you leaving?" His questions came out urgently.

"Uh, are you alright?" I questioned him instead of answering.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" I didn't believe him as his voice squeaked a little.

"O-kay," I drawled out. "Well, if you must know, I plan to leave in five or ten minutes."

"Perfect! See you then!" He replied overly enthusiastically. "Bye, Love!"

He hung up before I could say anything. "Bye," I said to the air.

I finished up and locked the apartment. When I finally got in the car and headed towards Studio City, I forgot Alice was supposed to call me back. As if reading my mind, the ringtone to my phone echoed throughout my little car.

"Hello!" I greeted her.

"Hi, doll!" She answered. "I have a great idea for Saturday!"

"What?" I asked eagerly.

"There's a bar in Hollywood," she began. "It's sort of nineteen-twenties themed, maybe earlier, with velvet couches, awesome wallpaper and gilded mirrors. It's on the small side, but there's an enclosed patio with a fireplace."

"That sounds awesome!" I told her. "Let's do it!"

"Oh! And there's one of those jukeboxes that you can request songs on."

"Can you call Rose and let her know too? She'll be excited!"

"Definitely," she replied. "So, did you get any hints for tonight?"

"Nope," I answered her. "He's definitely acting weird. He hung up on me not even ten minutes ago. Anyway, I don't know. What are you doing tonight?"

"Well," she laughed. "It's probably nothing. When I get home, Jas and I are going to grab dinner, maybe a movie. We'll see. I'll also start working on the final details with everyone for Saturday."

"That's nice," I commented. "I appreciate it, Al."

"Of course!" She laughed. "It's your birthday and you're my best friend!"

I laughed. "Hang on. I have to parallel park and if I don't concentrate, I'll end up trying to back into this space six times."

"Bella!" Alice exclaimed. "Your car is the size of a pea. You could park it in a shoe box and still have six feet of space."

"Ha-fucking-ha," I told her. I twisted my body into an unnatural position so I could see all angles of the car and empty area. I was surprised the short amount of time it took me to get to Edward's and actually found a parking spot. It was only about a block away. "Yay! I did it on the first try."

"That's what he said," Alice snorted. I giggled. "We're still on for lunch tomorrow, right?"

"We are," I answered as I grabbed my bag and made my way down the street. "We're meeting at the tea house in Pasadena, right?"

"Yes. Around twelve-thirty," she replied. "Rose'll meet us there. She's doesn't have to work until five tomorrow."

"Perf –" I cut myself off. My jaw dropped as I stood stunned at the bottom of Edward's stairs.

"What is it?" Alice's tinny voice echoed from my phone. I couldn't answer her. "Bella?"

"Oh, Alice," I whispered in awe.

The entire staircase glowed with strategically placed candles. As I made my way up the stairs, I noticed they were all flameless and flickered like real ones.

"Did he do good, Bel?" She asked.

"Yeah," I said lowly. When I pushed the opened door all of the way, I gasped. The entire living room was lit by strands of twinkling lights and real candles. Edward sat poised on the couch with his guitar. He smiled crookedly at me and his eyes sparkled from the little lights. "I have to call you back," I told Alice and didn't wait to hear her answer.

Edward immediately began strumming a melody. I dropped my bags on the floor and just watched intently. His slightly raspy voice began singing and it was perfect. "Gravity pulls and we fall from the clouds. We prove to each other that we're both human now. The time that we spent trying to make sense of it all. All that I'm asking for is that you need nothing more and nothing comes in between our love and it's fragile. See all that I'm asking for. You're all that I'm asking for." He became lost in his music and I stared as the tension of the muscles in his forearm as he played. His eyes continued to gaze at me. Edward became blurry as the tears formed in my eyes. I know I'd heard this song before, but for the life of me, I couldn't place the artist. Edward's voice held my entire focus.

"Now we walk together knowing where we've been. Knowing mistakes are being mistaken again. It's in the past tense there is no making sense of it now. All that I'm asking for is that you need nothing more and nothing comes in between our love and it's fragile. See all that I'm asking for. You're all that I'm asking for." The chords dramatically changed and Edward's voice grew stronger and louder.

"In the still of your hands anything can happen now. With every beat of my heart, love speaks in silence. In the still of your hands anything is possible. With every beat of my heart."

I closed the door and finally moved to sit on the couch. Without missing a beat, he angled himself to me. The tears finally spilled over and I silently wept from the overwhelming happiness and love radiating off this man.

"The time that we spent. Trying to make sense, of it all. All that I'm asking for is that you need nothing more and nothing comes in between our love and it's fragile. See all that I'm asking for is that you need nothing more and nothing comes in between our love and it's fragile. See all that I'm asking for. You're all that I'm asking for." Edward's voice dropped off and the notes faded from the acoustic instrument.

He carefully leaned the guitar against the arm of the couch. I was speechless and continued to watch him. He looked nervous and gently wiped my face with the pads of his thumbs.

"Isabella," he spoke softly. "I want you to know you have captured my heart and soul. I am yours. I am in awe of the woman you are – the inner strength you possess, your kind heart and your ways of making me cave to your every whim," Edward winked at the last part. I giggled and stifled a sob. "Everyday I wake up excited to see what the day holds with you. You make me laugh and smile. You make me want to be better and I know with you by my side – we can do anything we want. Together.

I cupped his smooth cheek and he leaned into it. He moved to kiss my inked wrist and took a breath. "I love you, Bella." He gazed into my eyes and his voice was soft, velvet and smooth.

I gasped and the dam burst. A sob broke out and I leapt into his arms, settling on his lap. I held him with all I had. I couldn't believe my life at this moment. I loved this man. I honestly did. He spoke from his heart and I could hear the truth in his declaration. Edward's arms encased me like a vice and he lovingly stroked my hair, down my back. I took a cleansing breath and slowly pulled back.

"Baby," he whispered, probably taking in my makeup and tear streaked face.

"Edward," I sniffed. His beautiful mossy green eyes watched me with anticipation. "I love you so much." I managed to get out and those eyes became glassy as he took in my reply. "I love everything about you. What you did tonight – the candles, the lights, the song! It was beautiful and so 'us'. The lyrics were amazing. Thank you for loving me the way you do. I never in a million years thought I would find this kind of love again. And with you."

Edward shifted us and I was now on my back. He hovered over me and kissed me fiercely. "You deserve everything and I want to give you everything. I love you, Baby." He smiled at me and his happiness was contagious.

"I love you," I replied. I wrapped one leg around his as he covered me with is body. I welcomed his weight on me. I felt safe and completely aware of our bodies.

We made out on the couch. Kissing and touching everywhere. My hands snaked up his t-shirt and I pulled it over his head. My hands lightly scratched his chest. He was warm and hard in the right places. My dress had somehow ended up almost around my waist, but I didn't care. Edward's hands roamed up and down my thigh while his mouth focused on my neck and collar bones. He was deliciously hard and when he moved, I released a quiet moan of pleasure.

Edward moved my dress farther up, but it snagged on my waist from the tied belt. "Dammit," I mumbled.

"What the hell?" Asked Edward. He'd been so focused that he couldn't figure out why the dress wouldn't move. "This was a great idea in my head, by the way."

I laughed. "Get up," I stated. He groaned in protest and kissed my neck before actually moving.

I got up and moved to stand directly in front of Edward. I could see his jeans straining against his erection. "Can I help you with that?" I pointed and smirked.

"Yes," he deadpanned and I giggled in response.

I slowly untied the flimsy, fabric belt and inch by inch began to raise the dress above my head. I kept my eyes trained on Edward's and he looked tortured. I even pretended to drop the hem down. He did not appreciate that at all and actually released a breath through his nose in frustration.

"Oh for Christ's sake!" he practically yelled and he stood in front of me. I was so taken aback that I dropped the dress all together. My eyes widened as he carefully pulled the dress over my head. I squealed when he then picked me and charged us to his room. His bare feet stomped loudly on the hardwood floors. I couldn't stop laughing.

Edward tossed me lightly on the bed and I relished in the feeling of softness of it. I rolled over and told him good night just to fuck with him. I felt him unbuckle my sandals and his hands moved up my bare legs.

"Oh no you don't," he lowly growled. I glanced over and his eyes and face took on a darkened look of wanting. He pulled back the blankets and sheets. I'd never had the pleasure of witnessing this side of him – totally out of control and uninhibited. I leaned up to kiss him and slipped my tongue against his.

I was completely flat on my back and Edward lay to my right. One of his hands moved to cover my bra-clad breast and began to softly, yet firmly massage it. I couldn't contain the pleasure from both his hand and mouth. His lips moved from my mouth, down my neck as nipped the skin right over my collarbone. My eyes closed as he pulled the bra cup down and ran his thumb over the pebbled nipple. He moved away from my collarbone and his tongue followed the path of his thumb. He then gently blew air and I nearly screamed with want. My hands held onto his shoulders and the ache between my legs began to consume my thoughts.

"God, Baby," I quietly moaned. Edward looked up and smiled. I moved to sit up and Edward quickly unhooked my bra.

"I love you," he said seriously. I almost said it back when I noticed he was ogling my bare chest.

"Really?" I arched an eyebrow.

"Aw, do you feel left out" He asked. "I do love you, my darling girl, but I can't neglect them. They're too precious."

"Edward Cullen!" I admonished him. "Please stop talking to my boobs. It's weird." I lay back against the pillows.

"Oh yeah? Is it weird when I do this?" He cupped both of them and worked his fingers around my nipples, but never made contact to where I really wanted him to. I panted quietly and subtly shook my head.

Edward moved down my torso dotting kisses along the way, but his hands never strayed until he reached my black and white laced underwear. One of my hands made its way to his silky hair, while the other lay near my head. Our eyes met as he carefully pulled my underwear down. He kissed my hip and I stuck my bottom lip out in a pout.

Without a word, he jumped up and took off his jeans, along with his boxers. He stood next to the bed in all his naked glory. My eyes raked over his strong body. The light trail of hair leading down from his bellybutton caught my attention and my need for him increased tenfold.

"Come here," I said to him and opened my arms. Edward carefully climbed over me and settled himself over me. His body met mine in the exact spot I needed. His fingers moved down my body and slid easily into me. I bucked my hips against him.

I reached down brushing my hand against his stiff erection and gripped him. He huffed out his own groan as I began to move up and down his length.

"I want you so bad, Love," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you, Edward," I responded and in a stronger voice continued. "Me too."

"Really?" He looked in my eyes. I nodded. I didn't think his smile could get any wider.

Edward pulled away from and reached over to his nightstand for that little foil packet. We'd had all of our blush worthy conversations about sex, birth control and testing in Hawaii, so words were unnecessary.

"Huh," I commented flatly. "You just happened to have those next to your bed?"

He froze and glanced at me with worry. "What?"

"Honey, I'm teasing," I laughed.

He just shook his head, ripped open the packet and rolled the condom onto himself. He then moved back over to me and aligned our bodies. He kissed me and I moaned when he rubbed himself on me.

"Ready?" He asked and I nodded. I placed my hands on his cheeks and moved one of them through his hair.

I started giggling at his formality.

"Bella, you laughing does nothing for my ego," he laid forehead on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I replied through my laughs. "This feels like high school. I'm sorry," I repeated. "I got nervous all of sudden."

"You're right. Okay, we can do this," he took breath, lifted his head and kissed my cheek.

"This isn't a homework assignment," I laughed again. Edward's whole body relaxed into me. I ran my fingers, again, through his hair, scratching his scalp. "Let's try this again." Edward closed his eyes and I moved to kiss his lips.

Within moments, we easily fell back into a mess of kisses, tangled limbs and warmth. Lust, passion and the proximity of Edward's body overtook any rationale my brain still had. I craved his mouth, relished in the heat from his hands on my body and felt the hardness of his arousal against me. I partially sat up and led a trail of kisses down his throat. Edward moved and re-aligned his body over me. He slowly entered and I almost cried from the overwhelming feeling of our connection.

Edward found my lips and kissed me once again as his hips began a rhythm. My hands kept to his back and my legs positioned themselves around his upper thighs. I closed my eyes as we moved against each other. Edward buried his face in my neck with one of his hands holding me. His breath tickled my neck, which sent my body into sensory overload.

The squeaking sound of the mattress and our breathy groans filled the silence of the room. Edward shifted to focus on my chest and I cried out from his touches from all sides. He lovingly massaged one of my breasts while his other hand helped steady him as he continued to thrust. His body was slick with perspiration as was mine and we easily slid against each other.

I finally chanced a gaze at him and caught Edward in a moment of concentration. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was biting on his bottom lip. He breathed heavily through his nose and I could hear his faint grunt as he moved forward. He was beautiful. I lightly touched his face and his eyes immediately flew open. With our gazes locked on each other, he flashed me a dazzling smile and I moved up to kiss him soundly. I dropped one of my legs from around him and held on as much as I could.

"Harder," I whispered.

"Close?" He asked just as softly. I quickly nodded.

Edward moved his hand and began exploring my torso, creating a burn everywhere it landed. He finally brought it between us and I nearly screamed when his fingers slid over me.

"I can't," I cried out panting. "Oh God!"

"Jesus, Bella," he grunted. "You have no idea…"

I let go of Edward completely and ran my hands over my face and left them resting near my ears. "Too much," I gasped. My body felt like tightly wound coil begging to be released. I grabbed Edward's head and slammed my lips against his panting mouth.

Sloppy, open mouth kisses and our uncoordinated limbs tangled even more. Suddenly, I was hit with the most blissful orgasm I think I'd ever experienced. I cried out incoherently and Edward followed closely behind. He dropped his forehead between my breasts and his hips slowed. When he completely stilled, he placed a soft kiss on my breastbone. I relished in the weight of his body atop mine and could hear my racing heart flutter through my chest. I tried to slow my rapid breathing when I felt Edward shift. I lifted my head and glanced down at his sweat matted hair. He looked up at me and smiled tenderly.

"Not yet," I pretty much mouthed to him. I didn't want him to separate himself from me. I couldn't pinpoint the exact emotion I was currently feeling. I just felt whole. I loved him. Probably more than I'd ever loved anyone in my entire life. When I recognized that, the tears appeared. I stared at the ceiling as they silently fell.

From the first shudder of breath, Edward instantly looked up. He slowly pulled out of me and I cried harder at the loss. I saw him get out of bed and into the bathroom. I was still crying when he walked back out – still naked, I might add. He got in bed and immediately pulled me against him. It was so warm and comforting to be against his warm skin.

"Are you okay?" He asked worriedly. He stroked my damp hair.

I couldn't get the words out as I sobbed into his neck.

"Bella?" Edward asked again. "Please talk to me. I don't know what's wrong and I can't fix it unless you tell me."

I lifted my head and sniffed. "There's," I gasped, "nothing…wrong…"

"What?" His eyes widened. "This is nothing wrong?"

I laughed through my tears and shook my head. "I love you!"

"Oh, Love," he chuckled. He wiped my face and pulled me close. "I love you," he whispered. I closed my eyes listened to Edward's steady beating heart. It lulled me to sleep.

When I awoke, the room was bathed in the soft glow from the bedside lamp. Edward was nowhere to be found and I was still very much naked. I walked into bathroom and cleaned up. Afterwards, I piled my tangled hair into a very messy bun, high on my head. As I entered back into the bedroom, I saw my pajamas laid neatly on the bed. God, I loved that man. I grabbed the cropped sweatpants, but instead of my tank top, I walked over to Edward's dresser and pulled out one of his t-shirts.

Glancing at the clock, it read midnight and I heard pots clanging in the kitchen. As I padded down the hallway, I saw that the living room was still lit by the many strands of twinkle lights that hung from the ceiling. In the kitchen, I was met with Edward's backside, as he pulled something out of the fridge. His tattooed right arm, held the door open and I immediately hugged him from behind. I placed a kiss directly on his spine.

"Hey, Baby," he said softly.

"Hi," I replied shyly. "Whatcha doin'?"

He twisted in my arms and moved his head down to kiss me. "Making breakfast for dinner."

"Yum." At moment, my stomach made its presence known. "Do you have bacon?"

"Why, I do," he laughed and pointed to the package of bacon in his hand.

"Yes!" I exclaimed.

He kissed me once more and moved back to the stove. There was already a pan with a lid over it. He quickly opened the bacon and carefully laid the strips in the sizzling pan. The kitchen smelled like delicious breakfast. I hopped up on the counter while Edward washed his hands. I watched the muscles in his forearms with rapt attention as he carefully scrubbed them.

"What?" he smiled and he pushed his glasses up his nose with his upper arm. I just smiled and shook my head.

He walked over to me with dripping hands and I was about to jump off the counter when he stood in front of me and proceeded to dry his hands on my pants. "Um, thank you?"

He kissed my head and moved to flip the bacon strips with the tongs that were sitting on the side of the stove. "Hey."

"Yeah," I responded.

Edward came back and stood between my hanging legs. I widened them to accommodate him and wrapped them loosely around his hips. He pulled me close and his arms enveloped me. "I love you."

I smiled and kissed him quickly. "I love you, Baby."

"Happy Birthday, Isabella," he moved his hand from me and cupped my face.

"Thank you," I replied. "This has been a really great day." I grinned and looked past him at the bacon sizzling in the pan. "Uh, Babe? The bacon."

"Fuck!" He flew back from me and pulled out the crispy pieces. After plating some of the more salvageable ones, he added some more to the pan.

"Can I have one please?" I begged. I saw Edward shake his head as he handed one to me. I bit into and moaned in pleasure at the deliciousness that is bacon.

"I thought I only did that for you," his voice interrupted.

"Oh my God," I punctuated each word. "Seriously? Please don't start talking like that. And secondly, nothing, and I mean nothing, can compete with bacon."

Edward burst out laughing and clutched his chest. "That hurts, Love."

"What else do you have to feed me?" I asked like a little kid and ignored his statement completely.

"It's like that, huh?"

"Yup."

"Well, madam," he lifted the lid, "we have here, some very cheesy, scrambled eggs. I even threw in some cut up tortillas."

"Yum," I commented. He pierced a forkful and pulled it from the pan, along with a trail of melted cheese. "Try this." He blew on the steaming food before prompting me to open my mouth.

"This totally hits the spot," I mumbled over the fork. "This is so freakin' good. If I didn't love you the way that I do, this would have totally changed my mind."

Edward smirked at me and just shook his head. He had finished with the bacon and turned off the stove. "I'm not sure if I should be ecstatic or insulted."

"More please." I waved my fork at him. I pulled my feet up and sat cross-legged on the counter.

He moved towards me and kissed my cheek as he grabbed some plates from the cabinet next to my head. "Go into the living room and I'll bring in the food."

"Are you sure?" I asked as I hopped down.

"Yeah, birthday rules and all," he replied.

"Yay!" I screamed as I made my way to living room.

I decided to make a picnic area on the floor so we could sit under the twinkle lights. Grabbing an extra blanket from the hall closet, I pushed the couch back and carefully laid Edward's guitar against it. I sat on the blanket and waited in anticipation for my 'brinner' which is what I decided to dub our breakfast at dinner.

Edward came out with two plates. He set them down and went back to the kitchen. Moments later, he returned with two glasses – one with water and the other filled with chocolate milk.

"Thanks!" I told him excitedly taking the milk from him. He grinned as he sat next to me.

"I don't know how you can drink milk whenever," he stated.

"What?" I asked. "It's always time for milk. It's just so good!"

We got to eating and he once again impressed with his culinary skills. Everything was perfect. Though I was completely full after finishing, Edward's plate still had a piece of bacon that was begging me to eat it.

"Hey, Eddie?" I asked sweetly.

He turned his head and furrowed his brow. 'Shit!' I thought. 'He's on to me.' Drastic measures were needed.

"Can I have a kiss, please?" I pouted my lips.

"Sure," he said as he leaned forward.

The minute our lips met, I slowly moved my hand towards his plate. I opened my eyes to peek and Edward was staring at me. He stopped me in mid-grab. "Just a kiss, eh?"

"I wasn't doing anything," I pleaded innocently.

"You can't steal a man's bacon, Love," he said as he puffed out his chest causing me to giggle. "That's sacrilege or something."

"Please?" I begged again.

"You're full," he pointed yet. He knew me too well.

"Not-uh," I replied.

"Finish your milk."

"I'm not thirsty."

"Do it."

"No."

"Isabella," he warned.

"Edward Anthony," I countered. "Can I please have your bacon?" I decided to bring out the full pout.

"Dammit, Bel," he conceded. "You're going to make yourself sick. And on top of that, you can't pout." He rubbed his face, pushing his glasses onto his forehead and ran a hand through his hair.

"So that's a yes?" I exclaimed happily.

"We'll split it," he stated and proceeded to bite a piece off.

"Yes!" I ate the remaining piece of bacon. "Thank you."

Edward laughed and got up to clear our plates. Instead of following him, I moved myself to the couch.

"I'm so full," I moaned and held my arms over my stomach. I really shouldn't have eaten it.

When he came back to my rolling on the couch, he knelt by my head. "You don't say. Are you too full for presents?" He soothingly ran his hand over my stomach.

"Never!" I nearly screamed.

Edward laughed and walked to the spare bedroom. I folded up the blanket and sat next to it on the couch. He came back a couple of minutes later with a two packages wrapped in SpongeBob Squarepants paper. I clapped with excitement and folding his leg under him, he plopped down beside me.

"Ok, this one," he pointed to the bigger one first, "should be opened first."

"Hmm," I hummed. I slowly took it from him and gave the flat, rectangular shape a quick shake. Nothing. Not a peep. It wasn't heavy and the shape didn't offer any clues. "I love the paper."

"I thought you would," he laughed at my sarcasm.

I tore it open and revealed the non-descript white box. "Oh jeez. You taped the box shut," I paused. "On all four sides!"

Edward chuckled and just watched – no offer of help or anything. Needless to say, I haphazardly ripped the lid and almost got a paper cut. "You are so lucky, I didn't cut myself." I looked up from the overabundance of tissue paper nestled in the box.

"Why's that?" I loved when he indulged my tangents.

"What if a vampire was lurking outside and got a whiff of my rare blood type?" My eyes warily peered around the room and to the windows. "I have O negative. Do you know how much the Red Cross calls me to donate?" When I looked at him, I could see him attempting to keep a straight face. His mouth was pulled into a tight line. "So if they are hounding me, what makes you think a blood crazed vampire wouldn't want me?"

Edward burst out laughing. "You don't think I could protect you, huh, Baby? I do have a Planeteer ring somewhere around here."

I giggled. "Really. You have, and I quote, a Planeteer ring? How in the world would that save me? Don't you need four other people for it to be effective?"

"First of all," he began. "I have the 'fire' power, which everyone knows is lethal to vampires. And second, you need all five to summon Captain Planet, but not to use said ring. And third, why are we even talking about this? Would you please open your present?"

I couldn't contain my giggles. I couldn't believe he just took the time to explain everything. He just smirked and kissed my head. "Okay," I wheezed out.

I took a calming breath and began pulling out the different colored tissue paper layers. When I finally emptied the box, I was met with a flat, square shape wrapped in bubble wrap. "Really, honey?" I laughed. Edward smiled at me. "I love this stuff. I carefully peeled away the bubble wrap and started popping it.

"I'm never wrapping anything for you again," he shook his head and scratched his brow. "You're getting a gift bag and that's it. Hell, I'll just hand the damn thing to you."

"Where's the fun in that?" I asked. "This is why you give presents – it's the anticipation!"

I gasped when I revealed his gift. It was a beautifully crafted picture frame that looked handmade. Painted bamboo framed the picture with beautiful bright hibiscus flowers adorning the top left and bottom right corners, but the clincher was the picture. It was the photo of us at the luau when he kissed my temple unexpectedly while sitting by the harbor. The setting sun, our tanned skin and the closeness we were to each other was all captured.

"This is beautiful," I said softly and met his gaze. He looked bashful as one corner of his mouth moved up in his endearing crooked grin. "When did you get this picture?" I'd been procrastinating in uploading the vacation photos and they'd been sitting on my camera ever since.

"Alice," he simply replied. "She got your camera and we went through the pictures. I thought this was the best one. It says everything I'd ever want to say about you, us."

"Oh, Eddie," I got up on my knees and brought my hands to his face as I kissed him quickly. When I pulled back, I leaned my forehead against his. "Thank you. I love it."

He took the frame from me and placed it back in the box. When he set it on the floor, he grabbed the smaller one. It was also wrapped in that cartoon wrapping paper and looked to like it could be an extremely flat book.

"No!" I exclaimed in disbelief when I unwrapped it. It was a small envelope and I carefully opened it. "No way!" I screamed and tackled him immediately. We ended up rolling off the couch onto the hardwood floor. Well, Edward landed on the floor and he was my cushion. "Oh, sorry, Babe."

"Bel, you're a hazard to my health," he laughed. He sat up against the couch and straightened his glasses as I straddled his lap.

"Ha ha," I told him sarcastically. "This is THE most amazing thing ever!" I clutched the concert tickets in my hand, practically crushing them. "When are we going? Where are we going to stay? Oh my God! I love you!"

I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. His chest rumbled with his laughter. I kissed the side of his neck and relaxed into his grip.

I didn't move while he spoke. "I thought we could make a trip out of it – explore the French Quarter, get you drunk on some Hurricanes and maybe find those Swamp People."

I moved back, laughing. "Wait, why me? It's time to get your ass plastered. But seriously, I would love to explore The Crescent City with you and see THIS man!"

He just shook his head. I was on a complete folk-punk kick right now and to be able to see this British singer-songwriter was a huge treat and to be in New Orleans as well? Done. I was done.

"You are one amazing man, Edward Cullen," I told him as I gave him a kiss. "Thank you for all of this." I waved my hand around. "And trusting me with this." I laid my hand over his heart.

Edward pulled up my wrist and kissed my tattoo as he always did. It was the most comforting gesture that he started and I was glad it was him. My 'love' tattoo had taken on a new meaning.

"Come on." He tapped my thighs and I stood up, still clutching my coveted tickets. "Let me put these down."

"We can't just leave them out," I whispered as he stood up.

"Love, no one wants your tickets," he chuckled. "Maybe if we were in England, we could re-sell them for a pretty penny."

"Hey, don't knock him," I retorted. "He's brilliant."

"Sure, Babe," he acquiesced and yawned. "Let's go to bed."

He turned off the lights and checked the front door. Taking my hand, Edward led us back to his bedroom and I made sure to bring my tickets with me. After he shut the bedroom door, Edward turned to me.

"Bel, you're going to have to put those down," he chuckled.

"I don't want to," I whined and playfully stomped my foot.

"Oh yeah?" He said in a husky whisper. "I think I can persuade you." He stepped closer to me and his finger barely skimmed my cheek.

My breath hitched as he leaned down to kiss my neck. He moved achingly slow and one of his hands lightly gripped my hip. I held on to his bicep to steady myself as I gave into his touches. He pulled the collar of the t-shirt and his tongue made a pathway along my collarbone. I nearly lost it when he blew over it.

"Eddie," I practically moaned out.

He looked back at me and just smirked mischievously. He walked me backwards and I lay down on the bed. Tickets forgotten, Edward easily took them from my hand and set them on the nightstand with his glasses. He reached for me and I met him halfway. My shirt was tossed on the floor and his warm body enveloped me. Our lips crashed against each other as I reached down and palmed him through his thin cotton pajama pants. He groaned in my ear. It spurned me on and I increased the pressure against his hard erection.

"In you now," he grunted against my lips. His hands wandered all over my body leaving a hot trail of want behind. I reached into his pants and gripped him. I slowly began to move my hand in an up and down motion. Edward's moans were probably one of the sexiest sounds I'd ever heard and_ I_ did that to him. Talk about an ego boost.

I leaned forward as Edward mouth moved from mine and down to my breasts. He touched and massaged, but his mouth suddenly found my nipple. I nearly screamed when he lightly grazed his teeth around the taut peak. He moved in between both leaving a trail of kisses as he switched. The throb between my legs seemed to intensify the more we touched and kissed.

"God, you're hot," I blurted out. Edward stopped, quirked his head and crashed his mouth against mine in a frenzy.

"And you," he seared my mouth with his kiss, "are the most beautiful…sexy." He cupped me through my sweatpants and rubbed his finger over me. A breathy moan escaped and I locked eyes with those crazy, green eyes of his. "Especially when you do that."

In one fluid motion, Edward pulled them down and began peppering my skin with kisses – nipping and licking. "The things I want to say to you," he said lowly and against my hip.

"Tell me," I breathed.

"You are so warm and wet," he started as he inserted a finger in me. His other hand continued to blaze a trail across my stomach. "Everywhere is soft and reacts to my touch." He ran his palm over my breasts and lightly pinched my nipple. My mouth flew open in a gasp. "Just like that, baby." Edward kissed me roughly and his tongue swirled chaotically against mine.

I moved to roll us over and sat on his thighs closer to his hips. I grasped his erection and stroked it, adding pressure along the way. His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. "Your hands are perfect. I have fantasies about you in this exact position – bouncing above me and riding me until I come deep inside you."

"Jesus, Edward," I moaned as I shifted my hips.

"Come here," he sat up a little bit as I leaned to capture his lips. My hands never wavered from their task of stroking him. I desperately wanted him in me. He tugged at the band in my hair, releasing it from the bun I put it in earlier. My hair tumbled down my shoulders and over both of us. His hand made its way down my neck, over my chests, past my stomach and right between my legs. "Goddamn, you are so fucking wet, Isabella," he groaned against my lips.

"Shit," I gasped and pulled back. "More."

I panted and Edward blindly reached for his nightstand. We stilled for a moment and he prompted me to place the condom on him. I let go of him and ripped the packet open. I faltered as both of his hands reached for my breasts and squeezed and massaged them. His thumbs swiftly slid over the nipples and I craved more. Maintaining eye contact with his half opened eyes, I stroked him twice before rolling the condom onto him.

I lifted myself up and positioned him at my entrance. Edward's hands stilled as he watched with rapt attention where our bodies were about to be joined. Ever so slowly, I lowered my body onto his and we both moaned when I rested on his lap. He slid his hands down my sides and rested them on my hips. Lying back down, his thumbs ran soft circles over my skin. I shifted and began a steady rhythm of moving my hips.

"So good," I whispered. I kept my back straight and placed my hands behind me on his thighs. Edward watched me with a dazed look on his face and every so often would groan loudly.

"God," he rasped. "You look beautiful right now."

I leaned forward and kissed him. Edward cupped my ass and squeezed hard. I squeaked in surprise. Our hips rolled against each other and the speed increased.

"I love you," I mouthed to him.

Edward smiled and twisted us so I was now on my back. We never broke contact and he smoothed my hair away from my face. He began to thrust faster and grabbed my hand. He guided it down my body, ensuring that I touched myself along the way. We brushed against my breast, down my sides and stopped right between where our bodies were joined. My other hand just held on to him.

"Do you feel this?" He asked lowly.

All I could do was nod. I felt him, I felt myself and it practically brought me over the edge. Edward's brows creased between each other as his body became more tense. He nipped my neck and his teeth grazed my skin. I moved forward, kissing his forehead before finding his lips. Our teeth clinked against each other in our frenzy.

"Edward," I pleaded. "Please."

He smirked and sucked hard one of my nipples causing me to scream out. I threw my arms tightly around his and his hips moved harder against me.

"Bel-" He began, but my name was lost as he came.

He collapsed on me and I kept my arms around him. Both of our chests heaved with our breathing. I felt Edward lift his head and kiss me below my ear.

"I love you, Baby," he whispered.

I turned my face towards him and replied. "I love you too."

He shifted his body and pulled out of me. I gasped at his withdrawal. He pulled off the condom and moved to kiss me. "Do you want to take a quick shower with me?"

I nodded as I sat up. Edward smiled and went quickly to the bathroom. I heard the shower turn on, not long after he entered it. I smiled and thanked whoever sent our lives in this direction.

"Best birthday, ever," I mused quietly.

"Babe! The water's warm," he called.

"Coming!" I hollered back.

"Again and without me?" Edward stuck his head from behind the door.

"Oh jeez," I playfully rolled my eyes.

I sauntered towards the bathroom and swung my hips side to side as I walked past him into the huge tiled shower.

I sighed under the warm spray of the shower and wet my hair. Edward joined me and squeezed some shampoo into his hand.

"Turn around," he requested.

His hands worked their way into my tresses and wonderfully massaged the soap. I hugged myself against his slick body as he finished up. He tilted my head back and rinsed my hair clean. I closed my eyes as the water ran over my body and Edward kissed my throat and made his way up to my lips. He then soaped up a washcloth and ran it all over my body. No more words were spoken until he was finished. I watched as his eyes concentrated on the task.

"I'm going to finish up real quick," he told me. "Why don't you get ready for bed?"

"Okay," I replied in a daze from his tenderness.

I grabbed a couple of towels and dried off. I picked my discarded pajamas off the floor and quickly got dressed. Looking at his ravaged bed, I decided to change the sheets before we went to sleep. Quickly, I went to his hall closet and pulled out the softest gray sheets I could find.

I stripped the bed and made a dirty sheet pile. While attempting to make his king sized bed, the corners of the fitted sheets kept riding up. I actually growled at the mattress.

"Having trouble?" A velvet voice interrupted.

"Yes! Your stupid bed wants to be naked," I huffed. I turned and Edward was clad only in a towel. "And apparently, so does my boyfriend."

Edward burst out laughing. "Aw, Love," He made his way to me. "I always want to be naked around you."

He kissed my forehead and found his own pajama pants that were piled on the floor. He dropped the towel and actually wagged his eyebrows suggestively at me.

I smiled and shook my head. He began to tease me while he slowly unwrapped himself from the offensive towel. I found myself staring right below his waist. Edward, probably realizing my blatant ogling, ripped the towel from his body and threw it at my head.

"Hey!" I muttered from under the towel. All I heard was Edward's laughing.

When I pulled it off of my head, he was dressed and holding my hair brush.

"Here, Baby," he chuckled. "I'll finish making the bed." He kissed my pouting lips and lightly smacked my ass as I made my way off of the bed.

In the bathroom, I untangled my wet hair and braided it. When I returned, Edward was sitting comfortably in the center of the bed under the blankets. I switched the bathroom light off and the room was now only lit by the lamp. I smiled at the man who was waiting for me and I hurried over to his waiting arms.

He scooted down and I melted into his side. I placed my hand on his chest and absentmindedly played with his chest hair. I was suddenly exhausted and ready for sleep. I closed my eyes and inhaled the clean 'Edward' scent. His hands moved under my tank top and rested against my skin.

"Thank you for everything, Baby," I said through a yawn.

He kissed the top of my head and I heard the distinct click of the lamp.

"Anything for you, Bella," he replied quietly in the darkness. "I just want you to be happy."

"Oh, Eddie," I sighed. "I am. You are everything I ever wanted."

I couldn't believe the changes that happened in my life over the course of a year. I went from a supposedly solid relationship with a plan for our lives, to an epic soap opera-like breakup, only to find love again with a decent, honest and loving man who only had eyes for me. Even when the words weren't spoken aloud, love radiated from Edward in his hugs, his unselfishness, his kisses and protectiveness. Who could have known that Alice's elusive cousin was the missing piece to the puzzle?

I fell in love when I was seventeen, thinking it was forever. I gave my heart freely to Jake Black and he sent it through the garbage disposal and left it to rot. With the support of my family, friends and my own strong will, I slowly, but surely, stitched it back together. It's not the same and I don't think it ever will be, however, I have that hope that everything in my life will be better.

Like the tale of the Phoenix bird, I finally felt like I rose out of the ashes a new person who could take on the world. I'd been through hell and came out of it a little burned, but no worse for wear. Edward Cullen fought his way into my life and heart and tonight the last Band-Aid holding my healing heart was peeled away. Who's to say what the future holds for the two of us, but for now, I was content to love this man for as long as he would have me.

He held me tighter. "Love you, Bel."

"Love you," I mumbled, drifting off to sleep.


	19. Epilogue

A/N: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. Drama, romance and this ending belong to me. Also, 'M' rating still applies.

The response in hits/visitors from the last chapter blew me away. Thank you for taking the time read. I hope you've enjoyed this journey as much as I had in creating it. Now I'm off to find 'my Edward'…

Dazzled eyes22, you seriously made my day with your messages! My beta, has been through everything with me and has beta'd every chapter. She is the best roomie/bestie/awesome person and am grateful for her editing expertise in deleting my favorite overuse of the comma.

**[Epilogue: Watch the World Come Alive]**

_I moved into the house my parents bought us, a minute later I was pregnant __and six years l__ater it was our daughter's turn to go to Greek School._

Oh wait, that didn't happen. Damn movies. I wasn't even Greek, let alone married to John Corbett. He'd always be Aiden to me, anyway. I sighed. Keep on task, Cullen.

I had just finished seasoning steaks in the kitchen on a bright, sunny spring day when I heard a car door slam. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was far too early for my two favorite boys to be home. The front door opened and when I didn't hear the tell-tale signs of little feet running, I made my way down the short hallway. I was met with the eyes of the saddest little boy I'd ever seen and he was clutching his tummy. His head rested against Edward's shoulder.

"Oh no, what happened, Babe?" I held out my hands and Edward reluctantly handed him over.

"I don't know," he replied, rubbing his hand over his scruffy chin. "One minute, he was laughing and pointing at the field and the next he just threw up and started crying."

I arched an eyebrow at him and shook my head. "Eddie, what did he eat today?"

Edward followed us into the living room and we all sat on the couch.

"He had half of a Dodgers Dog, water, a little cotton candy, peanuts, popcorn and some ice cream," he said, listing off each item.

"Edward!" He looked at me in surprise. "He's three! He can't eat all of that crap!" I looked down at the watery green eyes staring back at me. "Aw, Mase, no wonder you don't feel too good."

"Mama," he whimpered and buried his head against me. I nearly broke down from his pain. "My tummy hurts." Sometimes when he spoke, his 'r's' sounded like 'awr'.

Edward was now running his hand through his hair. He got up and started pacing. "I didn't know. I swear, Love. He pointed at everything and I thought, well, just a little of each wouldn't hurt him. Shi-shoot, I'm a terrible dad. He just looked at me with that face – your face, and I caved."

"Babe," I told him calmly. "He'll be okay. You're a great daddy. Let me go clean him up and maybe get him to take a nap." He nodded, kissed me and kissed the forehead of our son. He stroked Masen's short, light brown hair. "Why don't you get the grill going and I'll be down in a sec?" He nodded again and kept his face expressionless. I sighed; there were now two unhappy Cullen men in my house.

I carried Masen upstairs to his bathroom. Sitting him on the counter, I pulled off his little Dodgers jersey and then his khaki shorts. He sat very still, which was unusual behavior, while I ran the warm water in the sink.

"My tummy hurts," he repeated and sniffed. I knew I was in for a cry fest when he did that.

"I know, Baby," I said softly. His little hand gripped my arm as I reached for a clean washcloth with the cartoon monkeys on it. "Let's get you cleaned up and we'll go lay down. How does that sound?"

Masen just nodded and didn't fight me when I ran the warm washcloth over his body. He absolutely hated bath time and every time Edward or I tried to get him in the tub, his naked self would escape and run all over the house.

I dried him off and made sure he used the big potty before I carried him to his blue and gray bedroom. It was reminiscent of Edward's bedroom from his old apartment. I fell in love with the color scheme and when it was time to paint Masen's, I kept it a similar theme.

"Come on, Mase," I said as I helped him into a soft cotton t-shirt and some dark, plaid pajama pants. He had to match his daddy in almost every aspect, but he wanted mommy to always put him to bed. In the last couple of months, he graduated to a 'big boy' bed and absolutely loved it. It was still smaller than a regular twin and sat lower to the ground. Sometimes, though, in the middle of the night, Edward and I would get a visitor who stealthily crawled his way in between us. That would last about an hour until he fell back asleep and Edward would take him back to his own bed.

Masen waited until I climbed into bed with him. He then clung to me from the side and started playing with a strand of my hair, which was still just as long as it was almost ten years ago. I looked down at his big, round, green eyes and kissed his forehead. I gently rubbed his tummy with my hand and held him close.

"Love you, Baby," I whispered. His eyes drooped and eventually all movement stopped. His breathing evened out and he was out. I held onto moments like this, when it was quiet and my son was so angelic in his sleep.

To this day, I still couldn't believe my life. Five years after Edward and I started dating, we got married. He was persistent too. Two years after Rosalie and Emmett's wedding, Jasper and Alice also tied the knot and Edward got bit by the wedding bug. He literally asked me every day for a month straight. My hesitance to take the plunge didn't stem from my past heartache, but rather the direction of my career. I needed to figure out exactly where it was headed.

Shoebox Records became a successful business venture for Edward. He eventually brought on Felix as a business partner and the two of them continued to thrive with sales, concerts and even adapted the store to include the latest technology in music. In the end, I finished grad school within two years and had been working on my PhD for the last three. Thankfully, I was able to stay with the western museum and work my way into an archivist position.

One Sunday, about six months after Alice's wedding, I woke up and realized I was twenty-six and ready to start my life as a married woman. Yeah, the dramatic epiphanies never really stopped and I, without a doubt, was ready and wanted to be Mrs. Edward Cullen.

"_Babe," I whispered in the darkened bedroom. Edward didn't stir. "Babe," I repeated. This time he actually turned away from me. _

_I started poking him repeatedly. "Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe."_

"_Isabella Marie Swan," Edward groaned in his gravelly, sleepy voice. "You better be bleeding, dying, or something equally catastrophic for you to be poking me like that."_

_I knew I was taking the chance of waking up 'grumpy Edward'; he had just fallen asleep a couple of hours ago after a very long night at the record store. _

"_It's more important than that," I whispered. He eventually turned back to me and rubbed his eyes open. _

"_Speak," he replied._

"_I want to get married," I stated in a normal voice. Edward just gaped at me. He moved to flip on the bedside lamp and continued to stare. "What? I want to marry you."_

"_Well, I hope it would be to me," he grinned crookedly. _

"_I haven't had any other tempting offers, so I thought, what the hell," I giggled and he just rolled his eyes._

"_Come here," he said. I scooted and wrapped myself around him. "I love so much, you know that?"_

"_I think you've told me once or twice," I replied teasing him. "I love you, Babe. Can I have my ring now?"_

"_Bella, you're such a smart ass," he chuckled. "What makes you think I have a ring?"_

"_You mean all those times you proposed, you didn't have a ring?"_

"_Nope," he laughed. "I knew you were going to say no. I know you so well, Swany."_

"_Edward Cullen, now that's just mean!" I exclaimed._

"_I think being turned down forty-six times qualifies as being mean," he retorted._

"_That is – yeah that's probably true," I conceded. "Was it really forty-six times?_

"_It was just a rough estimate."_

"_Shit. That's awful, Honey."_

"_Bel, the fact that you live with me and we're still going strong after three years, I think it's safe to say that we'll be together for the long haul." _

"_Oh good. Me too. I'd hate to have to find a new place to live now," I laughed._

"_Ha ha," he said sarcastically. "Look, I am going to propose to you. And it's going to knock your socks off."_

I chuckled to myself and glanced down at my wedding rings. The three stones glittered in the afternoon sunlight. It took him almost a year after that conversation to propose. I squeezed Masen just a little tighter to me and briefly closed my eyes. When I opened them, Edward was standing in the doorway. He had removed his own baseball jersey and was clad only in a white v-neck undershirt and khaki shorts, similar to Masen's.

"Hey, Love," he whispered. "How is he?"

"Out like a light," I replied just as quietly. He just stared at the both of us with a sense of longing on his face. "What is it?"

"I love watching you with him," he said. "He like a mini version of you."

I laughed quietly and knew just how true it was. Though Masen had Edward's eye color and grin, he looked like me overall, except for his light hair color. That was all his own. It was like our hair colors blended and created this a new color – not quite brown, but not quite red. He did inherit Edward's crazy cowlicks. Only I would end up with a kid who took on the extreme parts of Edward's and my personalities. Masen was probably one of the sweetest kid's I'd ever met and had both Edward's self-confidence and my over sensitivity. He also thought he was the funniest person ever, but his father also shared the same opinion of himself. Needless to say, they kept each other very entertained.

"Isn't it weird?" I continued to laugh quietly. "Honey, we made another person." I was amazed that we not only created a new life, but succeeded in keeping him happy and healthy.

Edward shook his head and smiled. "Are you hungry?"

I nodded. "Help me up?"

In no time, Edward carefully maneuvered our son away from me and I slowly climbed out. I walked towards the door as Edward tucked Masen back in bed. He didn't even stir.

"Hey, Bel?" He whisper-called to me.

I stopped and faced him in the doorway.

"I really am sorry," he explained. "I just feel so bad. He was so excited to see his first baseball game that I wanted to give him the best experience." That crease between his eyebrows had become more pronounced than when I met first met him.

"Oh, Honey," I held him in a fierce hug and kissed his chest. "Please don't blame yourself. We have many more tummy aches ahead of us. He'll be fine. He's a Cullen. He'll eventually grow into having an iron stomach like you and Emmett. Though I don't know how genetics truly work, since he's your cousin. Can traits be passed on, twice removed? So, maybe through your mom and aunt?"

"Love?"

"Hm?"

"You're rambling again," he chuckled.

"I know," I giggled. "It distracted you, didn't it?"

He nodded and leaned down to kiss me. I still could get lost in Edward's kisses. His lips molded perfectly against mine and we clumsily left Masen's bedroom towards the landing on our second floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me tighter against him. As Edward deepened our kissing, one of my hands wandered down his torso to the waistband of his shorts. I played with the band of his boxers and ran my hand against his stomach, hip to hip. Edward's body was still in decent shape and I never once failed to notice how hot my thirty-four year old husband was.

Edward's own hands also began to explore and automatically landed on my enhanced chest. During my pregnancy with Masen, my chest size went up, as well as, some other parts of my body. I'll probably never be as small as I was at twenty-two, but I did gain a more hourglass shape. Edward loved it and repeatedly let my boobs know. He never got out of the habit of praising them. It was always an annoyance until his hands or mouth took over and I got lost in complete pleasure.

"Please don't stop," I moaned against his mouth as he massaged one my breasts through the cotton tank top. I palmed him through his shorts and he groaned in response.

"Bedroom?" He huskily asked.

"Not going make it," I squeaked out as his hand found its way under my bra. "Bathroom."

We stumbled into Masen's bathroom and partially closed the door. Being a mom now, I'd become quite the master at multi-tasking and would definitely hear if my kid wandered out of his room. After all, being my mini, he wasn't quiet or subtle. Edward picked me up and set me on the counter while keeping his lips against mine. He fumbled to unbutton his pants, while my hands explored his face and hair. The minute they hit the floor, he kicked them away and began with my shorts. I lifted my hips and he roughly pulled them down with my underwear. The tank top I was wearing quickly joined the rest of my clothes on the floor.

Without warning, Edward slammed into me and I nearly screamed from the sensation of our bodies joining. I locked my legs around his waist and bumped my head against the walled mirror. Using his hips, I leveraged my thrusts and met his eager ones. He kissed his way down my jaw and settled on the crook of my neck. His breath was warm and heavy against my skin. I held on tight as my own breathing quickened with our frenzied pace.

"Love you," he grunted roughly.

"Love you," I gasped out. "Almost, Babe."

I heard the bed squeak from Masen's room and Edward's face shot up. Our eyes met with a fear of being caught.

"Shit," I cursed quietly. Supposedly, we were responsible adults now. I internally laughed at that thought.

Edward flew into overdrive and reached between us. He slid his fingers against me, while I guided his mouth to my bra clad chest and he used his nose to slide the lacy cup over.

"Oh, God," I barely whispered. I cupped him and kept in time with his fingers. Suddenly, I was overcome and buried my head against his neck, riding out my orgasm. Edward jerked, quietly grunted and eventually we slowed to standstill.

Our breathing slowed and I leaned forward against him. Perspiration covered both of us and I reluctantly unhooked my legs. Edward carefully pulled out, only to bring me against him in a bear hug.

"That was insane," he chuckled.

"That is was, Babe," I replied. He placed his hands on my cheeks and gave me a kiss. Turning into his hand, I kissed his wedding band. He pulled his partially damp t-shirt over his head. "Let me clean up real quick and I'll go check on Mac."

Throughout my pregnancy, I had pages and pages of first names and different combinations of first and middle names. My friends thought we were crazy. The minute we found out we were having a boy, three years after our wedding, we finally narrowed it down. I had always loved Edward's middle name and we both agreed that we didn't want an Edward, Junior. Because they'd had all their kids before we'd ever thought about spawning a Cullen; Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett designated themselves as the baby experts. They constantly overshared their plans, timelines, 'supposed to's' and their 'expertise'. We showed them, though, and settled on Masen Anthony Cullen four days after the sonogram. Take that, you so called baby know-it-alls who had baby names picked out since they were probably ten years old!

I watched him and smirked when he bent to pick up his discarded shorts. "Like what you see, Mrs. Cullen?"

"Oh I think I do, Mr. Cullen," I replied saucily. "I may need to see it again later tonight."

"I think that can be arranged, Love." He balled up his shirt and took my inked wrist, kissing it. It was a gesture that I never got tired of.

I cleaned myself up, as well as the bathroom before emerging. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and made the short walk to Masen's room. Edward, wearing a fresh t-shirt, stood silently watching our sleeping son, who was now lying completely on his stomach.

"He's such a great kid," he whispered. I kissed Edward's bicep, where his Phoenix tattoo was inked. Throughout the last five years or so, he'd added two more to his collection. When Masen was born, Edward tattooed our baby's name over his heart. The lettering almost matched the script on my wrist and shaded in black and gray - very understated yet beautiful. Prior to that, he incorporated my initials within one of the wings of the Phoenix. The new art blended flawlessly with the actual design. He once told me that not only did the tattoo represent himself, it now symbolized my strength.

"Come on." I tugged on his arm gently.

Edward followed me down the hardwood stairs. Our home was perfect for us. We purchased it two years before I got pregnant in the same city where Edward's apartment was located. It was a two story, Spanish style home with white stucco walls and a clay tiled roof. It had four bedrooms, a living room, den and kitchen with hardwood and clay tiled floors throughout. The yard, which I probably loved the most, was big enough for Masen to run around and perfect for evenings outside.

"This took a while to boil, didn't it?" I commented on the pot of simmering water. Edward had pulled out the quartered potatoes that I'd already peeled and prepped for mashed potatoes.

"I had set it on low," he replied as he turned up the heat. "I wasn't sure when we'd be back in the kitchen."

"I see." I lightly brought my nail down his arm. "You planned our little tryst in the bathroom, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Bel. I'm shocked that you think that was my only intention."

"Uh-huh, sure, guy. I –" I was cut off by the ringing phone. I reached across the counter and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Bel!" Rosalie's voice rang through the phone.

"Hey, Rose. What's going on?" I moved away from the stove and sat on the opposite side at the counter.

"Emmett wants to do a Memorial Day barbeque in a couple of weeks. He's going to rent one of those bouncy house things, set up the Slip n' Slide, you know that sort of thing," she laughed.

"No way. He is not getting a bouncy house," I told her. I looked at Edward and could already see the mischief building in his face. "Don't you remember what happened last time? We had three grown men who kicked out the little ones and each ended up with something either broken or bruised."

Rosalie started laughing. "You have to admit, it was funny."

"Rose, I don't remember you laughing at the time. Besides, didn't you give Emmett a black eye?"

"That was an accident. I was trying to get his stupid ass out of the damn thing. He was crying that Jasper broke his hand. It's not my fault that my elbow kissed his face. Besides, it was comical to see them trying to get out of that little entrance – Jasper with a twisted foot and busted lip, Edward with a broken nose and that cut above his eye and the big baby, my husband, with plastic burn on his knees and a fractured pinkie."

"Oh, Eddie's poor nose." I looked at my husband. His nose was fine and healed. But that day, I was a hormonal mess, being almost eight months pregnant. Edward smirked and glanced at me as he dropped the potatoes in the boiling pot.

"That was the best part!" Rosalie guffawed. "The kids were screaming, I was pissed, you were hysterically crying, and Alice was trying to calm everyone down."

"I resent that!" I exclaimed sarcastically. "I think I'm a little offended, actually."

"Oh come on, Bel. Your husband's precious face is fine and it's a day to remember for the rest of our lives."

"Yeah, that's true. Hey look, I got to run. We need to get dinner together. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Sounds good! Give the little one a kiss for me."

"Will do. Same to the girls! Tell Em we'll be there for the impeding chaos. Bye!"

Rosalie laughed. "Seriously. Alright, bye."

"What's going on?" Edward asked as I hung up the phone. I smoothed back some of the bangs that escaped my bun.

"Em wants to throw a barbeque for Memorial Day," I replied.

"There's going to be a bounce house?" His green eyes sparkled.

"No way. We have a very impressionable three year old that idolizes everything you do. If he sees you three clowns roughhousing, he's going to want to join in. And if he wants to play, then his co-conspirator will too. I can see the tears now."

Edward walked around the counter to where I was sitting on one of the high barstools. I widened my legs and he hugged me to him.

"Please, Love?" He looked down at me pouting. "I'll make sure Mac and Wes are okay. Besides Em should be calmer, he's dad to two girls, so he knows to be less aggressive."

I groaned into his chest. "Fine. But you're in charge of him. I thought we banned pouting in this house."

"We did. It still works, though," he laughed.

"Mom!" a little voice yelled from the second floor.

"And he awakens," I chuckled. "I'll go check on him. You get those potatoes cooked." I hopped down from the stool and made my way out of the kitchen.

"Mama!" Masen's voice carried from the stairs.

"He's also impatient," Edward laughed.

"Well, he is your kid," I replied and stuck my tongue out.

I walked upstairs and was greeted by a yawning little boy with his father's bedhead. "Hey, bub. Did you sleep good?"

Masen lifted his arms in the air and I picked him up. "Uh-huh." We walked back to his room and I tried to smooth his hair somewhat.

"How's the tummy?" I asked him as I rubbed it lightly.

"Okay," he replied and patted my face.

"Do you want to come downstairs with me and daddy?" He nodded. "Okay, let's get you changed out of your jammies. Do you need to use the potty?" He nodded again.

After taking him to the restroom, I dressed Masen in some kid's sized black basketball shorts and a red t-shirt. "Let's go, Mase. Daddy's cooking." I tickled his tummy and he squealed. I could listen to his laughter all day. He squirmed out of my grasp to grab one his toy cars and I went to hold his hand before we carefully made our way downstairs.

"Dad! Dad!" Masen yelled as he ran towards the kitchen. He latched onto Edward's leg and started to drive his little car up his thigh.

"Hey, Mac," his father greeted him. Edward was currently whipping the potatoes.

"Mase, do you want some crackers?" I asked while rummaging in the cabinet for some plain crackers. I was hoping they might settle his stomach a little.

"Yes."

"Yes, what, Masen?" Edward asked him. "Please?"

"Yes, please, Mama."

I set out some crackers and juice at the table and Edward picked him up and brought him over to his booster seat. Masen immediately occupied himself by driving his car over the crackers.

"Okay, potatoes are done. Want to test them?"

"Yes!" I squealed. Masen giggled from his spot at the table. I took the spoon Edward offered me and nearly died at the delicious, creamy mashed potatoes. "This is delicious…and hot!" I said with my mouth full.

"Seriously, Babe?" Edward laughed. "After ten years, I still need to warn you?"

"No, I'm fine." I waved my hand over my mouth.

"Also, I must commend you on setting the perfect example of manners for our child," he chuckled. He pointed with the spoon and when I looked over, Masen had crammed a bunch of the crackers in his mouth.

"Aw, Mase!" I moved closer to him. "Out."

He leaned over and spit out the mush of crackers into the plate I held under his chin. I grimaced at the consistency of it. I grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped his face. "You are done, little man." I turned to Edward, who had pulled out marinated steaks. "I guess he's feeling better."

"Come on, Mac," Edward held out his hand. "You can help daddy cook some man food."

"Man food!" Masen squealed. "Bye Mama." He waved seriously to me. "I gon' help Daddy."

Trying to keep a straight face, I waved back with a flick of the wrist. When the sliding door closed, I threw my hand over my mouth and burst out laughing. I don't think I'd ever been so entertained by a kid before. Biased or not, I had an awesome son who made his presence known the moment he entered our world.

"_Bella, Edward," the doctor spoke to us. "Congratulations, you have a son!" A baby's wail resonated throughout the delivery room._

"_Oh my God," I gasped. I was exhausted. Fourteen hours of labor and contractions, a ton of cursing, one epidural that I swore wore off and endless tears had brought us to this point – we had a baby. Almost immediately, something small and warm was placed on my chest. "Holy cow." I burst into tears when I saw that little face and instantly fell in love all over again. All the pain, heartache and regret I'd endured in my life were all worth it for this moment. "Hi, Masen," I greeted him, my voice shaky._

_Edward kissed my forehead and lightly traced his wet head. He pulled out his hands and looked at his feet. "Perfect," he whispered. "Hey, Mac. Welcome to our family. I'm your daddy and this beautiful woman is your mommy. We love you, son." The tears flowed freely down Edward's face. I didn't even notice that the doctor was still finishing up the delivery. I guess that epidural really worked._

_I wiped my face and the nurse came over to take the baby, so they could weigh and clean him up. The moment he was gone, I immediately felt the loss and cried harder. _

"_I love you, Bella." Edward reverently left kisses all over my face. "You did so well. Thank you for him."_

"_Oh, Edward," I cried. I reached out to hug him and he leaned into me and kissed my neck. I wiped his falling tears. "I love you."_

"_Bella?" One of the nurses called over to me. I looked up. "Masen is twenty-one inches and weighs eight pounds."_

"_That's my boy!" Edward laughed._

_They brought him back over to us, all clean, and swaddled, with a blue striped beanie on his head. He had quieted down and smelled wonderful. _

"_He's so little," I whispered. "Look at his fingers, and nails. His eyes! They're so dark and blue."_

"_We'll let you get acquainted with the little one and I'll be back to show you how to feed him and change him," the nurse explained. _

"_Thank you," Edward told her. He turned back to us and addressed the baby. "Well, Mac, I'm going to teach you all about being a Cullen. You're going to meet the rest of the family soon. You have cousins just waiting to meet you."_

"_Babe," I cleared my throat. "Why do you keep calling him 'Mac'? _

"_Masen Anthony Cullen – M-A-C. Mac," he said a matter of fact and then grinned. Oh, Lord. My husband, the comedian everyone. _

Alice and Jasper's son, Wesley, had just turned two when Masen was born and the moment he laid eyes on the new family member, he assumed the role of big brother and stuck by his side. Even now, the boys were inseparable, like Emmett and Edward have always been.

I cleaned up the mashed potato mess and placed the bowl in the oven to keep warm. Grabbing the seasoned ears of corn, I went outside and was met with the laughter of both of my boys.

The next couple of weeks went by quickly and soon the three of us were on our way to Emmett and Rosalie's for their barbeque. Emmett still lived in Huntington Beach and continued to run the surf shop. Alice became his partner four or five years ago when her business savvy kicked in and brought on new vendors and high quality sportswear.

Emmett and Rosalie moved to a larger house and traded in the ocean view for a huge backyard. Rosalie became a free-lanced makeup artist after her second daughter was born and stayed local working on different television series. Violet was now ten years old and every bit Emmett's daughter, down to the dark brown, curly hair and bright blue eyes. She had inherited her father's set of dimples which made every male in our family instantly indulge her. Violet had lovingly been dubbed the most expensive souvenir from their honeymoon. Her larger than life personality allowed her to easily take on the role of big sister.

She went as far as asking her parents for a sibling – a sister actually, so she would have someone to play with. Five years later, not only did she get a sister, Audrey; Alice was also pregnant with Wesley. Audrey Brandon was the polar opposite of her sister. She had light blonde hair that was cut at her shoulders and big blue eyes. She had her mother's sarcasm and dry wit. The two of them together was either really good or really bad. They loved each other fiercely and fought with the same amount of passion.

We pulled up to Emmett's house just after one o'clock. Masen was completely conked out from the drive. "Kid or cupcakes?"

"I'll take him," Edward laughed.

I looked in the visor quickly and fluffed my bangs. Even though I kept my hair long, I now had bangs and not just 'mom' bangs either. They were on the longer side and fringe-y. Getting out of Edward's new charcoal gray truck, which was still kept immaculate and had awesome rims on them, I straightened out my spaghetti strapped sundress and threw on my flip flops.

I went around to the back seat and got the three boxes of the biggest cupcakes I'd ever seen. Edward pulled Masen out of his car seat and was trying to wake him up.

"He's just like you, Love," he laughed. "Sleeps like the dead. Hey, Mac? It's time to get up buddy. We're here."

Suddenly the door flew open. "Auntie Bella! Uncle Eddie! You're here!" Audrey screamed out our arrival. She was already in her bathing suit.

"Why do we all have such hysterical children?" Edward asked me when I made my way back around the truck. I rubbed Masen's back as he rubbed his eyes. Suddenly he sat up, alert. "When did I start talking like that?"

"Um, right around your thirty-second birthday," I commented thoughtfully. Edward just smirked at my sarcasm.

"Dad!" Masen looked at Edward.

"Mac!" He replied just as enthusiastically up close and blew a raspberry on his cheek. Masen giggled.

"Wes is here?"

"Yes, my son. Wes is inside."

"Let's go! Let's go!"

"Yeah, I have no idea why our kids are hysterical," I replied sarcastically.

"Hey, Audrey," I greeted her with a kiss. "Where's your mother?"

"Inside with Auntie Allie and my sister," she replied and grinned. She was currently missing her front tooth.

We entered the house and Edward followed me to the kitchen where Rosalie and Alice were pouring over a baby catalog. Violet sat quietly as she munched on a carrot.

"I think you should name the baby Alex," Rosalie's older daughter commented. "If it's a boy, it works and if it's a girl, it works too. Hi Auntie B, Uncle E. Drey, let's go outside, Dad's almost done setting up the water slide."

With a look of sheer amazement, Rosalie watched her daughters exit the kitchen area. "I'm speechless."

"She does have a point," Alice replied and started laughing. "Hey guys. Masen! My baby! Give Auntie a kiss."

"I'm a big boy," Masen replied.

Alice slowly got up, being careful with her now noticeable baby bump. "Whoa! You popped!" I blurted. "I just saw you last week."

She laughed, turning sideways. "I know, isn't it funny?"

Aside from being thirty-three and four months pregnant with baby number two, Alice looked almost exactly as she did in college. Her hair was in a shorter bob, but just as dark and she still wore her leggings and shirt dresses, especially now with her pregnancy.

Masen hugged Alice as she gave him a kiss and Edward passed him on to Rosalie. My kid just loved the attention and giggled when Rosalie tickled his sides.

"Where's Wes?" I asked Alice.

She pointed outside to the five year old currently chasing Audrey. If Masen was my mini, Wesley was Jasper's. He was tall for his age, shaggy blonde hair and hazel green eyes. Named after his grandfather, Wesley has been trying to duplicate Jasper's family's Texas accent and just this year began adding 'y'all' to his vocabulary.

"Mama, I wan' go play," Masen said as he looked at me. His green eyes bright with excitement.

"I'll take him. Let's go, kiddo," Edward picked him up from Rosalie, upside down, and walked outside. Masen's laughter faded when the sliding door shut.

We looked at each other and just laughed. Moments later, yelling and squeals resonated throughout the yard. The three of us flew to the sliding door and saw Emmett, completely soaked and chasing an out of control garden hose. Edward's head was thrown back in laughter as he stood by the valve. Jasper stood next to him, with a beer in one hand and his phone in the other, recording the debauchery. Watching through the netting of the bounce house, the little girls' screams of glee were pointed at their father, while Wesley and Masen watched enthusiastically from their spot on the steps. We were speechless as we made our way outside into the chaos.

Emmett currently sounded like Joe Pesci in 'Home Alone'. His cursing was a bunch of jumbled, nonsensical words. He threw a death glare at Edward, who immediately turned off the water. Wiping his hand over his wet face, Emmett calmly attached the hose to the Slip n' Slide and Edward switched the water back on.

"Mom!" Audrey yelled to Rosalie. "Daddy said 'shit'!"

Violet immediately shushed her sister.

"Oh jeez," Rosalie muttered. "I need to pull the 'mom' card out," she said to us. "Audrey Elizabeth! Over here, now."

The yard suddenly became quiet, except for the water running over the plastic. Audrey slowly made her way to her mother.

"Drey, honey, just because Daddy says it, doesn't mean you repeat it, right?"

"Yes, Mommy," she replied quietly.

Before Rosalie could continue, my husband released a high pitched squeal – something I don't think I'd ever heard in all my years of knowing him. Emmett had charged him and was currently chasing him around the grass.

"I'm going to kick your as-behind, fuc-freaker," Emmett stuttered out.

"It was a joke, Em!" Edward exclaimed as he ran.

Emmett nearly grabbed him when all of sudden, Edward veered left. His foot caught the edge of the yellow plastic and he slipped backwards. His running start propelled him halfway down the tarp. Emmett immediately pounced on him and the two began wrestling among the water. The little girls started chanting 'daddy', while we stood there with our mouths open in shock.

"Hey!" Jasper yelled to them. "Bonsai!"

Jasper ran and landed on top of the other two. All three began tag teaming against each other.

"Oh my God," Alice started laughing. "He really didn't want to be left out. Poor thing."

"Poor thing? I'm married to the one who started it," I laughed.

When I glanced down at the steps, we were missing two little boys. "Oh, shit." I glanced up and saw Masen and Wesley running towards their fathers. "Masen!" I ran after both of them, but their little legs seemed to be faster. Edward, Emmett and Jasper were unaware that the little boys had decided to join the fray.

"Daddy!" Masen yelled.

"Get him, Dad!" Wesley cheered on Jasper.

"Edward!" I screeched. Too late. He looked at me and we watched, in slow motion, it seemed, as Masen slipped and landed right on his butt in a puddle of water. Jasper caught Wesley perfectly when he lunged onto his back.

"Wait for it," I told Rosalie, who had joined me halfway to the Slip n' Slide. Masen's eyes widened and I knew exactly what was coming.

As if on cue, Masen let out a wail. The men immediately stopped wrestling and Edward went into dad mode. He picked up our wet child and tried to calm him down.

"Watch Wes, Mac," he cooed as he bounced him. Jasper moved to the front of the yellow tarp and with Wesley in his arms, ran and started sliding. Wesley laughed hysterically.

Violet and Audrey crawled out of the bounce house and took their turns. Their giggles overpowered Masen's whimpers. He was now curious. Emmett followed his girls but he ran too fast and ended up sliding into the grass.

I walked up to Edward and Masen. He immediately reached for me. "Hey, bub. Did you fall in the water?"

He nodded and I gently wiped his face. His tears stopped as the slippery, yellow tarp intrigued him.

"Come on, Mac," Edward said. "Watch Daddy."

Edward, being the best father ever, went to the end and slid head first down the plastic. Masen immediately perked up and started clapping.

"Want to get closer?" I asked him. His hands immediately flew around my neck. I chuckled and carried him over to it. Crouching down, I stood him at the very edge of the plastic and splashed some water on his legs. He seemed to relax the more I doused him.

"Look at me, Masen!" Violet yelled as she ran past us and easily slid through the water.

Masen watched as his cousin flew. Audrey and Wesley followed. Edward came back to both of us and took Masen from me. He sat him on the edge of the tarp. Masen wasn't as bothered as he was when he slipped. He started splashing the water by hitting the Slip n' Slide with his palms.

"Love, help me," he asked. "I'll pull his legs and you hold his back upright."

"Okay," I laughed. "Mase, Daddy's going to pull you okay? Just a little bit."

Edward tugged his ankles and Masen quickly glided over the water. His giggles rang out and we got a quarter of the way, when I slipped and fell backwards.

"Bel!" Edward asked. "Are you okay?"

I snorted. "Yeah, thanks. At least my dress didn't fly over my head, this time."

Edward coughed to cover his chuckles and I just rolled at my eyes at him. Except for Alice and Rosalie, everyone was soaked, so I was grateful when one of the girls handed me a towel. Edward helped me up and Masen happily busied himself in the water.

"Why isn't he like this with bath time?" I watched in amusement. I reached down and lifted Masen's wet t-shirt over his head.

"I know!" Edward laughed. "He's so little, you'd think the tub would be the most fascinating thing – like a pool or something."

"Alright!" Alice hollered. "Husbands and Bella, there are some dry clothes in the house, if you want to change. Then we can get started on the grillin'! And you kids, do whatever it is you're doing." She turned to me as I rung out the excess water from the skirt of my dress. "And you, missy, I'll watch Mase. Maybe I can convince him to go in the bounce house with Wes."

"I don't know, Al," I laughed. "He seems quite content sitting in a puddle right now."

Masen was now attempting to crawl down the Slip n' Slide and it was comical to watch as he tried to keep his balance on the slippery surface. Edward had taken out his phone to snap some photos and suddenly cursed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"My phone won't turn on," he grumbled. "I think the water soaked it."

"Oh! Throw it in a bag of uncooked rice!" Alice chimed in.

We both looked at her as if she'd grown a second head.

"What?" She questioned. "I saw it on the news. It supposedly works. You bury it in the rice and it soaks up the water."

"Um, okay," I commented. I faced Edward. "Can't hurt? Come on, Babe. I'm sure Rose has rice somewhere."

Edward looked like someone kicked his puppy. I shook my head and asked Alice to watch Masen for me.

"Rose!" I called over. She was watching the girls jump around the bounce house with Emmett. The entire structure swayed with his movements. Jasper continued to chase Wesley down the Slip n' Slide. "Do you have rice in the kitchen somewhere?"

She shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand. "Uh, yeah. Second cabinet by the oven."

Edward and I left the chaos in the backyard and began rummaging through the kitchen. I poured the rice into a Ziploc and smushed his phone into it.

"So, how long does it sit in there?" I asked. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm going to see what clothes Rose left out for me," I mentioned as I moved to leave.

"Are you going to need assistance, my darling?" Edward grasped my hand and kissed it.

"Oh, uh," I stuttered. "Sure?"

He just smirked and led us to one of the guest rooms. Rosalie set out some cotton shorts and a t-shirt alongside some of Emmett's clothes for Edward. He lightly closed the door and stalked towards me very slowly.

"Babe?" I asked.

He gently lowered the zipper down my back and kissed a spot between my shoulder blades. "I'm just helping," he quietly responded. His left hand lightly trailed down my arm and sent a shiver through me. My dress fell to the floor and I was left in my bra and underwear. I turned to face him and quickly relieved him of his wet shirt and shorts. I looked up into his darkened green eyes and he leaned down planting a kiss on my lips.

Edward continued to kiss me as he sat on the edge of the bed. I stood between his legs and placed my arms around his neck. My fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck. His hands lovingly explored my sides and I moved myself closer to him. Everything about him excited me - the way his lips moved and caressed mine, the way his eyes would occasionally meet mine and close in pleasure and the way our bodies just fit with each other's.

"We shouldn't stay up here too long," I rasped as Edward laid kisses around my torso. He continued moving his lips up to the valley of my breasts. 'But don't stop!' I thought.

"I know," he mumbled. I closed my eyes and moved my hands into his hair.

A knock on the door immediately froze us in place. Both of heads shot up and stared at the closed door.

"Guys? I'm sorry to bug," Alice's half muffled voice carried through. "Masen's looking for you and nothing is distracting him. I even tried to bribe him with a cookie." She laughed.

Edward pulled me close and leaned his head against me. His shoulders shook with his chuckles and I wanted to laugh so badly. All I could think was the joys of being a parent.

"Thanks, Al!" I called out to her. "We'll be right down." Edward shifted and looked up at me. "Come on, Babe. Your son needs us."

"My son?" He looked at me aghast.

"Yes, when he interrupts play time, that is YOUR son," I emphasized.

The both of us quickly got dressed and hurried downstairs. The smells of a summer barbeque permeated the kitchen. Rosalie was chopping some vegetables for the salad, while Alice cooked the noodles for the macaroni and cheese. Violet sat next to a mountain of shredded cheese. She had cheese in one hand and a grater in the other. Audrey sat next to her and helped by eating the freshly grated cheese.

"Drey, we need that for the macaroni," Rosalie told in a tone that sounded like it was the tenth time she'd said it. "Enough, please."

"Alright, where's my kid," I interrupted. Masen and Wesley were nowhere to be found with the girls.

"Oh now, he's your kid, Love?" Edward mused from behind me.

I looked back and saw Edward grinning back at me. His hair had dried a little disheveled.

"He's in the bouncy house with Wes," Alice interjected. "Jas is watching them, while Em man's the grill."

"Great. Let's go check on him and I'll come back and give you guys a hand," I told Alice and Rosalie.

Edward and I made our way outside and I did a double take when I saw Emmett's grilling attire – chef hat and an apron that said, 'In this house two rules apply – number one: I'm the boss, number two: See number one'.

"Burgers are almost done, kids," Emmett turned to us.

"Thanks, Em," Edward responded. "Need some help with anything?"

I continued walking towards the bouncing bounce house, where peals of laughter resonated. Jasper was on the side watching the two little boys clumsily play. Standing next to him, I watched as Wesley ran and jumped around. Masen, more or less, crawled and would fall when Wesley's bounces got to close. He would just laugh in surprise.

"Hi, Mama!" Masen yelled when he saw me. He attempted to move closer to me and would get stopped as he fell. "So when do you find out what you're having, Jas?"

He laughed as Wesley tumbled and almost nailed Masen. "We go the doctor in a couple of weeks. Allie and I have a bet going. She thinks it's a girl, but she only believes it because she said this pregnancy's different. I told her that it could just mean her body's used to being pregnant. I think it's a boy."

I laughed at his 'expert' opinion.

"Hey, Auntie Bella! Watch me y'all jump!" He emphasized his 'y'all'.

Jasper shook his head. "He thinks you just throw in 'y'all' wherever."

I burst out laughing. "God, you're kid's sickeningly adorable."

"You have no idea," he laughed. "At school, he tries to 'charm' the girls acting like a gentleman and such."

Edward finally joined us after helping Emmett with the food. "Watch this." He walked over to the front and struggled in pushing him grown up self through the entrance. He playfully growled and surprised his son. Masen squealed and tried to move. Edward swiftly picked him and blew a noisy raspberry on Masen's exposed tummy. Alice had changed him out of the wet clothes from earlier and put him in his blue hibiscus print swim trunks.

Wesley immediately tried to jump on Edward's back. He reached around and helped him climb up his back. Wesley latched his arms around his neck and he held Masen to his front. He crazily bounced around with happily screaming kids.

"I need to get in on this," Jasper told me. He quickly joined the boys and the bounce house swayed even more.

I watched the boys for a bit when I heard my name being called.

"Bel!" Alice yelled. I turned and looked back at the house. "Can you help me do the macaroni and cheese?"

"I'll be right there, Al!" I replied.

I left the squeals of Masen and Wesley behind and made my way back to the kitchen.

-*OotA*-

A month later, the six of us and our kids deplaned in Forks for the annual Brandon/Cullen Fourth of July Extravaganza. Edward and Jasper both carried a sleeping Masen and Wesley. I grabbed our extra bags and Emmett carried Alice's. Rosalie, Alice and the little girls followed us. We were lucky with the timing as Alice only had a couple of more weeks until she wouldn't be allowed to fly.

"Babe," I called to Edward as we moved towards baggage claim. Edward turned back to me. "We should probably wake him up before we hit the road and let him stretch his legs."

"Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed. "Hey, Mac." Edward gently shook Masen awake. "Wake up, buddy. We're going to see Grandma, Grandpa and Pops.

Masen slowly opened his eyes and looked around at his surroundings. He then laid his chin over Edward's shoulder looking back to me. "Gramma?"

"Yup, bub," I replied leaning over to give him a kiss. "We're going to go for a car ride to her house."

"Where's Wes?" He asked. Sitting up in Edward's arms, Masen twisted his body looking for his buddy.

Wesley had woken up and was now walking with Alice, holding her hand. "Hey, Masen!" He called over.

"Hi!" Masen replied and waved.

We caravanned to the baggage carousel and us girls settled in a corner with the kids, while the husbands went to wait for our luggage. Masen and Wesley, Violet and Audrey sat next to each other on the plastic seats. Alice took a seat next to Violet and rubbed her belly.

"How's the mama doing?" I asked her.

"I think the real question is, how our Penny is doing," she laughed. "She's been kicking me since we started the descent."

When Alice and Jasper figured out the sex of the baby, she started a phone chain. Alice called both Jasper and me; and I three-way called Edward, who called Rosalie, who called Emmett. Before we could even receive the news, Alice burst into tears and Jasper had to tell us. They had decided on Penelope – Penny Whitlock.

"Ugh," I replied. I vividly remembered the latter half of my pregnancy when Masen was most active. It constantly felt like someone was punching me. "I do not miss that. I swear one night I thought Masen broke my ribs."

"I remember that," Rosalie said. "I found you in a fetal position on the bed moaning. You couldn't even move, let alone breathe."

I shook my head and winced at the memory. That was a bad night. Edward was working super late due to a concert at the store, Felix was on tour and I didn't want to disturb him. He would have just left and came straight home. I called Rosalie and just gasped out my pain. She arrived as quickly as she could and helped me get through it. Edward was not happy when he found out just how bad it was and made me promise that if that happened again, I would always call him.

Our conversation was cut short when Rosalie's girls started fighting over a crayon. There was some hair pulling and pinching involved and Rosalie went into action separating them. She then pulled them aside to give them a talking to.

"So, Bel," Alice started. "Is your dad excited?"

"Oh yeah," I laughed. "Now that Mase is a little older, can pretty much talk, he wants to take him to work and maybe even fishing."

"Is he still dating Julia?"

I chuckled and playfully rolled my eyes. "Yup. It's been, what, four years?"

My dad, the confirmed bachelor, or so I thought since I was little, recently met and fell in love with Julia. She was a very nice woman, who was the school nurse at Forks High School. Julia moved to Forks just over six years ago from Montana after divorcing her husband of twenty years. They never had children and when this opportunity rose, she jumped at it. Being from a larger city, Forks was a welcomed change for her. My dad ran into her while grabbing dinner with some of the guys. They started talking and two years later, they were official.

"She'll be in town this year for the barbeque at your aunt's," I continued. "I think he's getting ready to propose, though."

"Really?" Alice practically squealed. "Ow. I think Pen just fist bumped me."

"What?" I burst out laughing.

"She's excited too, I assume," she replied nonchalantly. "I can't wait until tomorrow. There's going to be mashed potatoes, potato salad, corn, ribs, coleslaw…" she trailed off and looked at my wide eyes. "What? I'm pregnant, everything sounds good, except for fish. That's just not okay."

"Oh my God," I laughed.

"Alright!" Emmett's voice interrupted. "We have everyone's luggage. Is everyone ready?" He looked around and immediately zoned in on his unhappy girls. "What happened?"

"We'll talk about it later," Rosalie answered him. "The girls are cranky. We're good to go, hon."

"Okay," he said slowly. "The guys and I decided that we'll rent two cars. That way, no one will be trapped. Sound good?" When no one objected, he continued. "Alright, Brandons, Whitlocks and Cullens, let's move out!"

I grabbed our carry-ons and held Masen's hand, who also insisted that Wesley hold his, so the three of us trailed behind everyone. Emmett and Edward led us to the car rental. We sat the kids down again and waited.

"Mama?" Masen called to me.

"Yes, Mase?" I answered.

"I'm hungry," he replied. "My tummy's talkin' to me."

I lightly laughed. "Oh no! We can't have my pretty baby go hungry!"

"Mama! I'm no' a baby!" He replied and narrowed his eyes. He looked just like Edward when he was frustrated. "I'm this many." He held up three little fingers.

"Yes you are, bub," I replied as seriously as I could. I looked over at Alice and Rosalie and we all tried to stifle our giggles. I fished out some Cheerios for him to munch on. "Here you go."

"Can I have some y'all Cheerios, Mase?" Wesley asked politely.

Masen actually paused and looked like he thought about it before handing him one.

"Masen, you need to share," I told him.

He looked at me with guilt on face and opened the bag to Wesley. I just shook my head. When I looked up, Edward, Jasper and Emmett were walking back towards us.

"Alright, I got us a car and Em rented a Suburban," he explained. "They're all staying at Auntie Lucy's and we'll go to my parents'. Your dad's okay with us not staying with him, this time, right?"

"Oh yeah," I replied. "He's still in gross honeymoon phase with Julia and as much as he loves Mase, I'm sure he doesn't want a nosy three year old wandering around. Hell, I'm thirty-three and don't want to be wandering around that house," I laughed.

Edward laughed and leaned in close to my ear. "I'm sure we're still in gross honeymoon phase too, Love."

I shivered from his close proximity. "Edward Cullen, don't start something that you're not going to finish."

"Oh, I plan to finish, Isabella," he snickered. "Just you wait 'til tonight."

What this man does to me. With just a few choice words, he had me riled me up and I kissed him passionately. "Damn you," I mumbled against his mouth. "God, I love you."

"Love you, Baby," he said simply with a grin place. "Let's get going. We have a long drive ahead of us."

By the time we loaded everyone in the car – luggage, car seats, bags and kids, it was late in the afternoon. We decided to stop at a fast food place before hitting the road. After everyone was fed, we re-loaded the cars and finally started our journey to sleepy Forks. At first, Masen played with the toy from his Happy Meal and eventually drifted off to sleep. Besides the music playing, a comfortable silence filled the car. I chuckled in thought.

"What?" Edward asked. I grabbed his right hand and held it in my lap.

"I was just thinking how funny it is that you rented a Volvo."

Edward laughed. "I thought it was appropriate to pay homage to my old one. RIP silver Volvo." He pretended to wipe a tear.

I just giggled at him and kiss his shoulder. "Are you excited about this weekend?"

"Hell, yes I am. I hope my dad gets the good fireworks again."

I laughed, picturing an overly excited Edward. I know he couldn't wait to play with Masen and watch the fireworks. Last year, it bothered his little ears, so we watched from the living room. It was probably highly illegal, shooting them off with all of those trees, but they were just so pretty.

With the arrival of the first Brandon baby, Lucy and Esme decided to get everyone together. The six of us and eight month old baby Violet made the trek back to Washington to celebrate the Fourth of July. There was food, fireworks, music and just the family. Since then, this extra trip has become a part of our lives.

That first year, I had fought tooth and nail about spending the holidays with my dad. My anxiety was at an all-time high with the fear of running into Jake, despite my solid relationship with Edward. Forks was such a small town, that I had no doubt, we would run into each other. Even though, I had Edward, Alice and Emmett to support me, my courage waned and I visited my mom and Phil for Thanksgiving in Florida – where they were still happily dating each other.

With my friends' urging, I reluctantly decided to spend Christmas with my dad – which in the end, worked out. I had one of the best times celebrating with my dad and the entire Cullen clan. My anxiety over seeing Jake again completely dissipated as our paths never crossed over the last ten years.

We only stopped a couple times and still made it to Forks in record time. Edward and I kept a steady conversation flowing about everyday things, work and our kid. Masen would randomly ask questions from the backseat. Eventually, Emmett honked and waved as he made a turn while we continued on to the in-laws. Edward called his mother and let her know we were only minutes away. Masen occupied himself with the scenery passing by and watched with excitement.

When we finally pulled up to the house, Esme and Carlisle were sitting on the porch. They both waved as parked in the driveway.

"Ready, Mac?" Edward turned in his seat, smiling at his green-eyed boy. "We're here!"

"Yay!" He exclaimed. His kicked little legs back and forth and unbuckled the top latch of his seatbelt. "Mama, I'm-a stuck." He grunted.

"Wait, Baby," I told him. I turned and kneeled on my seat as I unlatched the lower one. "Wait for Daddy to open your door."

Edward had already exited the car and made his way to Masen's side, which was directly behind me. I got out and stretched while Esme approached us. Masen stood and took in his surroundings.

"My darlings! You made it!" Esme exclaimed. "There's my grandbaby!" She picked up Masen in a tight hug and tickled his tummy. Masen squealed in delight. "Give Grandma a kiss!"

He messily kissed her cheek and hugged her fiercely. "Hi, Gramma!"

"Hey, Ma," Edward kissed her cheek and then hugged his dad. "Dad."

Hi, Esme," I half hugged her. "How are you? Ready to spoil this one?"

"Oh, Bella," she laughed. "I'm so happy you guys are here! I'm always ready to spoil Masen! Come on, they can get the bags."

Edward and Carlisle already unpacked the car and followed us in. When we settled in the den and Edward took our bags upstairs, I finally had a chance to say hi to Carlisle. Esme already put on a Disney movie and Masen focused his attention on the cartoon lion.

"Are you guys hungry? We were just going to order a pizza," Carlisle asked with a phone in his hand.

"Cheese sticks!" I replied. Edward came up from behind and wrapped his arms around my waist. He laughed and kissed my shoulder. "That'd be great, I mean. Thank you." Esme and Carlisle chuckled. "We should probably get Mase ready for bed. It's almost time for bed and he needs a B-A-T-H."

Esme knew Masen's aversion to baths and laughed. "Isn't it funny when you realize you're at that point in your life when you have to spell things out?"

"I know!" I giggled. "The first time I did that, I stopped myself and started laughing. Because that's one thing I never thought that I'd ever have to do in my life."

"Why don't you and Eddie get settled and I'll take care of Masen?" She offered.

"Oh, Es, you don't need to do that," I replied.

"Yes I do. As one of his Grandmas, it would be my pleasure," she stated. "Come on, darling," she turned to Masen. "Grandma wants to show you something."

We left Carlisle to handle dinner. Esme held Masen's hand as Edward and I followed her upstairs. Last year, Esme re-decorated one of the guest rooms and turned it into Masen's. It had been beautifully painted in a soft green with dark wood furniture. The crib was an antique she had refurbished to match and every time we visited, she gave Masen time to familiarize himself with the room. There were books and toys placed around and it looked lived in and comfortable.

"Oh my God," I whispered as we walked in. She had replaced the beautiful crib with a bed similar to the one Masen used at home. "Thank you."

"Yeah, thank you, Ma," Edward repeated.

"Oh, it was nothing," she replied. "Anything for my grandson. He's growing up so fast. I just need to figure out what to do with that crib…" she trailed off and looked at Edward and me.

Immediately, I hid behind Edward. When Masen turned two, Esme not so subtly hinted at wanting another baby around. So far, I'd been successful in dodging inquiring minds. I was completely on the fence about another baby. I was so consumed by everything Masen did and who he was becoming that I enjoyed every single moment - he was that fascinating. Edward's shoulder shook with chuckles.

"Mama, look," Masen's musings saved me again. He was pointing to the stuffed dinosaur on his bed.

"That's your bed, Baby," I told him. I squatted so I was eye level with him. His hair was all over the place and I softly ran my hand through it. He giggled. "Go ahead and get on up there."

He immediately hopped on his little bed, grabbing the stuffed animal. Edward pulled out his phone and took some candids of him.

"Mase, what do you tell Grandma?" I prompted.

"Thank you, Gramma," he stated.

"You're welcome, Sweetie," Esme replied. "And look through there." She pointed to the adjoining bathroom. Masen got up and followed Esme to it. She flipped on the light and kept walking to the next bedroom. "Mommy and Daddy will be in here, if you need them."

I loved Edward's old bedroom. It was different, yet the same. Gone were the posters, the sports trophies, and his everyday messiness that he once told me about, but Esme kept it homey and very much to Edward's taste. Bookcases were filled books, records, tapes and CDs from his teenage years. Picture frames of our friends and family were strategically placed between them.

"Now, come on, let's go play." She led Masen back to his room.

I lay down on the bed as Edward shut the door to the bathroom. My exhaustion from traveling with an active three year old set in. I felt Edward as the bed dipped and he halfway covered me with his body. His lips ascended onto my neck and his breath gave me the chills. Keeping my eyes closed, I wrapped my arms under his and held him close.

"God, I love you, Bel," he whispered and kissed me under my ear.

"Love you, Baby," I managed to reply.

Finally his lips met mine and I felt home. Edward made me feel safe, loved and purely content. I kissed him with fervor and his soft lips yielded to my wanting. I lightly nipped his bottom lip which sent him over the edge. He was hard against me and I desperately wanted to peel his clothes off.

"Pizza's here!" Carlisle's voice rang through the house.

Edward groaned and placed his dropped his head against my shoulder. "I promise. Tonight. No excuses or distractions."

I giggled and kissed the side of his temple. "Alright, let's go eat." We both got out of bed.

"I'll, uh, meet you downstairs," Edward said looking down.

I burst out laughing.

"Bella, what'd I tell you about laughing at me," he narrowed his eyes. "You're killing my ego here."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Poo-Bear," I baby talked to him in a sickeningly obnoxious voice. I puckered my lips and leaned towards him when he palmed my face.

"Hey," I mumbled through his hand. He let go and left the room laughing.

Unfortunately, after eating and getting Masen ready for bed, I ended up falling asleep right next to him on that little bed. I vaguely remembered being carried to bed and now, I woke to someone gently shaking me.

"Baby," Edward whispered.

"What's wrong?" I sat up in a panic.

"Shh, nothing's wrong," he said soothingly. I could barely make out his shape in the dark. "I want to show you something. Come with me."

"Oh, okay," I breathed out.

Edward led us outside through the doors in his bedroom. The moon casted an eerie white glow on the patio on an otherwise pitch black night. The sky was a deep midnight blue with masses of twinkling stars and the rustle of the leaves in the surrounding forest complimented the soothing sounds of the flowing river in the distance.

He sat on one of the lounge chairs and guided me to straddle his lap. My legs hung down from either side of his thighs and he pulled me forward, cradling my body against his. I breathed him in as I buried my head in the crook of his neck. Edward lovingly ran his hands down my back. He draped a light blanket over the both of us and began slowly kissing my shoulder. I moved up and kissed him lightly on his lips. Concentrating on the feel of his mouth on mine, I deepened it and the kissing took on a life of its own.

Edward's hands wandered up my sides, taking the oversized t-shirt I wore with the movement. I sat up and allowed him to remove it. He stared at me with an intense gaze as if seeing me for the first time.

"You really are so beautiful, Isabella," he said reverently. I gasped when I shifted over his lap as he hit me in the exact right spot.

"I love you, Eddie," I whispered and kissed him again.

Both of his hands reached up and slowly massaged my breasts. His thumbs swept over my nipples which puckered from his touch. I slowly rocked against him with my hands on his shoulders and quietly moaned.

"Shirt, off," I said softly. "Pants too."

He chuckled and ripped his own t-shirt off. I stood quickly, with the blanket wrapped over my shoulder as Edward shimmied his pajamas pants off. I carefully and quickly stripped off my underwear, tossing them on the ground. I looked down and Edward seemed to glow in the pale moonlight. His skin seemed flawless and he appeared so young, almost ethereal. His eyes and body called to me as I watched him unabashedly.

He began to slowly stroke himself and I was fascinated by this action. His eyes would close as he passed over the tip of his erection. Before settling back on his lap, I leaned forward and kissed his lips. His grunts were soft and breathy. I reached between us and placed my hand over his, following its pathway. Ever so slowly, I paused his hand and sank down. The moment our bodies joined, we sighed in contentment.

He moved his hands to my hips and we rocked unhurriedly against each other. He sat up and my mouth never left his. We tried to keep our moans quiet, but everything just felt so amazing. I held myself tightly against him and rubbed my chest against his. The blanket fell from me and the cool air intensified every sensation.

"God, Baby," I gasped. "I love you so fucking much."

"Me too, Love," he moaned against my lips.

At some point, my hand shifted and I palmed my own breast. Edward looked down with lust filled eyes. His hand joined mine as his mouth focused on the other one. His tongue swirled and his hand followed massaging and squeezing.

"Oh, shit!" I rasped.

Edward kissed his way up my neck and I grabbed the back of his head and pulled on his hair. His mouth met mine and my senses were on fire. I buried my face against Edward's neck as I climaxed. My breathing came out in pants and quieted my groaning against his warm, slick skin. Edward quickly followed and stilled under me.

We just sat in silence, holding each other tightly. Edward eased himself out of me and we repositioned ourselves on the lounge. He picked up the blanket and laid it over us. I sighed contently and he glanced over to me. His green eyes bore into mine.

"I'll love you forever, Bella Cullen," he said quietly and seriously. "You know that, right?"

I traced his nose and cupped his cheek. I kissed him softly. "I do, my love. I'll love you always."

We dozed after that, listening to his steady heartbeat and quiet breathing.

The next day was filled with commotion and last minute details for this afternoon's barbeque. The men were in the backyard, setting up the tables, the grill and fireworks. The kids hung out in the den watching a movie which hopefully kept them occupied for the time being. Alice sat at the kitchen table cutting up some carrot and celery sticks, while Rosalie sliced up some potatoes. She already had an apple pie baking in the oven and the kitchen smelled of wonderful spices. Esme prepped the meats with seasoning, marinade and began forming the hamburger patties.

I had just finished mixing the dough for the red, white and blue cookies, when I realized there may not be enough frosting. I think there was a sneaky mouse – named Emmett – who stole one of the packages early this morning.

"Hey, Esme?" I asked. "I think I need to head back to the grocery store. I need to get extra frosting."

"Okay," she replied. "Do you think you can pick up the ice too? We probably need about four bags – the big ones."

"Sure." I walked to the backdoor that led to the patio. "Hey, Eddie?"

Edward and Jasper were carrying one of the long tables towards the grill. This was going to hold the buffet line of food. "Yeah?" He answered.

"I need to run to the store. I'm going to take Masen with me."

After he and Jasper placed the table, Edward walked over to me. "What are you getting?"

"Someone," I said loudly and looked at Emmett's guilty face from across the yard, "ate the frosting. I need to pick up some more for the cookies. And your mom wants the ice."

"I'll go with you," he said simply.

"You don't have to. I'm sure there's enough to do here."

"I'm coming, no arguing. How are you going lift twenty pound bags of ice and carry Mac?"

"Okay, okay. Let's go."

Edward followed me in and I went to get Masen. He was playing with some toy cars and army men with Wesley.

"Hey, Mase?" He looked up at me and smiled. "Want to come with me and Daddy to the market?"

"Yes!" He got up and I grabbed his hand. We walked back to the entry way, where I got my license and credit card out of my purse.

"Ready?" I asked Edward when he walked over to us.

"Yup," he replied and swooped Masen over his shoulders. His giggles rang out as I opened the front door. "Mom gave me a list."

I took it and read the short list she made – ketchup, ice, lighter fluid and ice cream. "How did we forget this stuff this morning?"

"No idea," he laughed. "Let's go, Mac!" Edward ran out the door with our son and I followed just laughing at the two of them.

It took less than ten minutes to reach the grocery store, which was crowded due to the holiday. Edward picked up Masen and placed him in the cart.

"I'll go get the frosting and meet you in the frozen aisle?"

"Sure, Love," he replied and kissed me before we split up.

I quickly grabbed the extra containers of white frosting and Masen talked about everything he saw. I was completely engrossed in his babblings when I heard a boy yelling – not just upset yelling, but pissed off, brat yelling. I looked around and noticed it wasn't even in our aisle and was amazed at the volume of his screaming.

"I want it!" He practically screamed. "You never let me have anything! You're the worst father ever!"

My eyes widened in disbelief that a child could be so disrespectful towards a parent. I quickly turned our cart in a different direction and looked at my son.

"I hope you never turn out like that Mase," I said, tickling his tummy. He laughed and I leaned down to kiss him.

"Mama, I lo' you," he said as I stopped by the ice cream freezer. Masen just grinned happy as can be sitting there. I wanted to cry at his innocence.

"I love you, Baby," I replied and caressed his little cheek. He puckered his lips at me and I kissed him again.

I opened the freezer and picked out a tub of Vanilla and Chocolate. As I placed them both in the back of the cart, I hadn't noticed someone approach me.

"Bella," he stated.

I froze at his voice. A voice I hadn't heard in over ten years. It was the same, yet different. I turned around and he was standing there looking at me. I suddenly felt very self-conscious in my short, frayed jean skirt and short, flowy babydoll tank top. I'd left my hair down in waves.

His dark eyes, that I used to know so well, locked on mine. "Jacob." My heart hammered in my chest and I kept up a blank expression.

"You look great, Bel," he continued. He stepped forward and I automatically stepped back towards Masen.

The first thing I noticed about him was his face. He looked tired and worn. The lines in his face were more pronounced and he'd cut his hair very short. His clothes were very casual – ripped jeans and black t-shirt and he was heavier than I remembered. The toned body of a twenty-two year old gave way to the body of someone who seemed to have the world on his shoulders. My frozen memory of Jake was shattered by reality.

"Um, thanks," I dumbly replied. "I have to go."

I was about to push the cart when he stopped me. "Wait, please."

"No," I said flatly. 'I can't do this,' I thought to myself.

"I just wanted to say –"

"Are we leaving yet," a snotty kid's voice interrupted. Jake's eyes immediately closed in frustration as a tall, gangly boy of ten walked over to us. I instantly recognized him as his son and saw the striking resemblance between them. I also realized he was the screaming brat from aisle twelve. A girl, probably five years old, stood next to him, but didn't resemble either one. I just assumed it was Jake's other kid.

"Matthias Black. What did I tell you? We're leaving in ten minutes," Jake said without any sort of authority. He just sounded defeated.

Matthias rolled his eyes and continued to back talk. "Well, Rachel's ready to go and she's being annoying."

"No I'm not!" she cried and stomped her foot over Matthias'.

"Enough!" Jake semi-yelled out.

"Mama?" Masen's question pulled me out of my shock. I took that as my cue to leave.

"Bella, wait!" Jake called to me.

He ran in front of my cart to stop us. "What are you doing, Jake. Huh? What do you want? It's been ten years and I cannot get into this with you right now, or ever. Now, I have to go." I tried to keep my composure, but I could feel my eyes starting to prick with tears. I needed to be strong.

"Bel?" Edward quickly walked up to our cart. He stood next to me and when he recognized the man in front of us. His eyes narrowed. "You. Why the fuck are you bothering my wife?"

Jake's eyes widened in surprise and a look of defeat overtook his features. Edward rubbed my back with his hand. I picked up Masen and held him to me. I watched these two men just stare at each other, while the two kids halfway down the aisle continued to fight with each other.

"I'm not," he mumbled. "I just wanted to talk to her really quick."

"I think you need to leave our family alone and tend to yours," Edward sneered at the bickering behind us.

Jake rubbed his hand over his face. "Please, Bella. Two minutes. That's all."

Our eyes met and I briefly saw the boy I once knew. I sighed into Masen's shoulder, conflicted.

"Babe, take Mase and I'll meet you in the front, please?" I looked up at Edward's face and my heart felt full.

"Are you sure?" He asked warily, as I placed Masen back in the cart. I nodded once. "I won't be too far."

"I know. I love you," I whispered. Edward nodded to me and rolled the cart away. I turned to Jake. "Two minutes."

"Thank you," he hurriedly said. Rachel let out a scream as Matthias pulled her hair. "Hey!" He yelled to them.

I played with my hair, now feeling stupid for standing here. I was about to turn away when Jake spoke.

"They're not really siblings," he began. "Rachel is Leah's son's kid that we're raising. Those two fight like there's no tomorrow –"

"Jacob, I'm sorry, but I really don't care," I blurted out, though I wanted to laugh at the thought of him being a grandfather at the ripe old age of thirty-three. "My husband and kid are waiting for me. You have one minute." The strength in my voice was evident. I wasn't that broken girl anymore. I hadn't been for a long time.

"I know. Sorry. I'm an idiot," he replied. "Your son looks just like you. You look happy. My life hasn't really gone where it was supposed to. As you can see with my son over there –"

I was getting pissed. I didn't want the details of his life. I didn't care if he was unhappy. I hadn't thought about him in so long that my patience was gone. I had cookies to frost, and five kids, if you included Emmett, who needed to be fed and given the best Fourth of July we could create.

"Okay, look," I said. "I don't want to do this. I can't pretend to be cordial with you and act like we're old friends. Our time has come and gone and my life has nothing to do with our past or you. I said everything I needed to say on your lawn. So, I'm going to go now. Good luck with your life."

I turned and walked away, but not before I heard him.

"I really am sorry, Bella." I stopped in my tracks. I looked back at Jake. "For everything. I'm just sorry. You didn't deserve any of it and I'll live the rest of my life knowing that I hurt the one person who loved me."

I was speechless. I just stared at him and narrowed my eyes. I nodded once and left him standing in the frozen food aisle. I never realized how much I'd longed for the day when Jake would apologize and now that it happened – I didn't care. I moved on a long time ago and put myself together.

I found Edward and Masen waiting around the corner. He immediately enveloped me in his arms.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly. My heart rapidly beat as I just held onto him.

"Yes," I murmured into t-shirt. I looked up into the depths of his green eyes. "Actually, I'm fine. Can we just go home?"

"Sure, Love," he replied.

We stood in line at the cash register, picked up the ice and eventually paid for the groceries. Edward bought Masen a little plastic container shaped like a giant Goldfish cracker. Masen thought it was the most fascinating thing at the moment. His giggles shook me out of my thinking as we walked to the rental. I smiled at my baby and settled him into his car seat. Edward loaded the trunk with the ice and two bags of groceries.

"Mama, do we have fishie crackers?" Masen asked me and shook the container at me.

I burst out laughing just as Edward got in the car. My life was exactly where it was supposed to be – with Edward and Masen. Each of them brought something to it and only made me love them harder. I felt fulfilled and have for a long time – I had an awesome romance with my husband, a wonderful, mischievous kid, a great career, my best friends and everything I could ever want.

Edward just looked at me in question.

"We do, bub," I told him. "I'm sure Auntie Allie has some. When we get home, I'll get you some."

Home. That's exactly where we were going – our family was waiting for us. I smiled at Edward and he kissed me gently while Masen just laughed to himself in the back.

"Home?" He asked. Edward always understood me – my other half; my forever.

"Home."

**[The End]**

_And that's all she wrote. Thank you again for reading, my dears. I hope enjoyed a little glimpse of Bella's life. _


End file.
